Pursue life's passions and enjoy the greatest pleasures.

Modern civilization and life are complex and colorful, as are people, and naturally, human emotions are complex and colorful as well. But ultimately, the most intelligent of all beings still belong to us, the clever humankind. To qualitatively and quantitatively analyze their own emotional issues, people have, to date, categorized their emotions from an ethical perspective into several systems of emotional relationships, each labeled with a specific type of emotion.
For example, the emotional attribute transmitted through blood ties is called kinship, belonging to the first type of emotion; it has no gender specificity. Emotions arising from legitimate unions or marriages based on social recognition and especially between young men and women are called love, classified as the second type of emotion. Emotions arising from normal interactions between men and women based on human social attributes are called friendship, also known as the third type of emotion.
Similarly, to better enjoy the passions of higher life beyond these three types of emotions, the new generation of humans has derived and evolved a fourth and fifth type of emotion based on practical needs. I'll tentatively call these two types of emotions "genetically modified products" of emotion; they walk a tightrope between sex and non-sex, love and indifference, representing another new trend in this era.
The so-called fourth type of feeling, also known as ambiguous feelings or flirtatious feelings, is based on liking. It is an emotion that exists outside of kinship, friendship, and love. Due to the special nature of men and women, it is described as a feeling that is more than friendship but less than love. Therefore, this type of feeling cannot be considered love. It pursues equal spiritual communication and belongs to the highest stage of opposite-sex friendship, that is, the two people are true confidants (female confidants, male confidants). Regarding this type of feeling, an online survey was once launched. The results of the survey with nearly 10,000 participants showed that 66.35% of people said they could accept the fourth type of feeling, 55.55% believed that pure feelings of this kind existed, and 64.22% had thought about seeking this kind of feeling.
Because of my work, I have a deep understanding of this fourth kind of relationship. Over the decades, I have had many female confidantes of this kind, who are widely distributed across various age groups and professions. Through these interactions, I have observed the following common characteristics: "attractive but not lewd," "only to be admired from afar, not to be touched," and "not hungry is enough, not thirsty is good enough"...
This fourth kind of relationship is less than love and more than friendship. It has less of the artificial constraints and utilitarianism, and more of the release and concern for emotions. If love is a bright red flame, then this is a quiet and pure blue flame. Although it is not as intense, it has a unique beauty and warmth.
When people are immersed in love, they are intoxicated; when they are in friendship, they are awake; when they have a fourth kind of feeling, they are in a state between dreaming and waking, hence a kind of blissful intoxication. But their steps are steady, so they don't stumble like people who stumble from the hazy state of dating to marriage. It also has a more intoxicating quality than sober friendship, allowing them to enjoy the pleasure of being both real and illusory. Therefore, many people are content to enjoy this kind of feeling, without any intention of taking a step forward or backward.
There is nothing wrong with having this fourth kind of feeling. Living in an open and diverse society, if our emotional experiences are relatively normal, we will naturally have vastly different feelings when facing all kinds of people. We are all independent individuals, and society is relatively tolerant. If we choose someone of the opposite sex to be our friend, no one will demand that we must fall in love and marry. We regard each other as close friends based on our initial appreciation; if it is someone of the opposite sex, it is just a coincidence.
Between parents and children, and between lovers or spouses, things often get too close, leading to excessive demands and heavy responsibilities, resulting in mutual repulsion through mutual harm. However, in the fourth type of relationship, where there are no overly realistic interests, heavy responsibilities, or comprehensive understanding, the appreciation between partners remains constant in a hazy, unspoken way. Household chores, mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships, and early childhood education do not damage this bond; its carefree and detached nature seems to surpass even familial and romantic love. Compared to friendship, it possesses an added attraction and charm from the opposite sex, and its rich and enduring meaning is unmatched by simple friendship.
Having reached this level, it's advisable to maintain a balance between love and liking. Such friends are forever true friends, while lovers are a distant and beautiful myth. Living between myth and reality is a wondrous feeling, but it's crucial not to harm either myth or reality.
The so-called fifth kind of relationship refers to a relationship outside of marriage where there is free spiritual and physical exchange between members of the opposite sex without disrupting each other's families. This involves men and women who share similar knowledge, interests, and values, are mutually attracted and admire each other, and whose relationship is based on mutual affection, without affecting their work or families. It prioritizes mutual understanding, appreciation, and spiritual enjoyment, supplemented by shared meals, tea, and travel, with occasional natural physical intimacy.
Because it differs from the "third party" seeking replacement, it can be called the "fourth kind," and its level does not belong to the highest realm of confidant (the fourth kind of relationship). This kind of relationship also eliminates the heavy, worldly aspects of relationships between the sexes, such as the various utilitarian and trivial matters, establishing a relatively relaxed relationship, and thus developing into a "non-rejection" fifth kind of relationship.

My husband and I were fortunate enough to meet such a couple of friends who shared similar circumstances, interests, and values. We had known each other for many years as business partners and had developed a deep mutual admiration. Back then, we played all sorts of passionate role-playing games together, and even now, thinking back, we often marvel at the insatiable nature of human desire and the allure of new experiences! Despite the current strait barrier and the pandemic, both sides miss each other dearly…
The fifth type of relationship is one where one is attracted by the other's sensuality and then mistakenly believes in love through sexual intimacy. In this type of relationship, both parties are clearly deceiving themselves. Behind the woman's physical desire for this type of man lies a yearning for love. It is close to being a lover but not far from being a friend. Because it values the sexual experience, it is a relationship where one doesn't love much, but only a little. The "fourth party" strikes a perfect balance, existing between friendship and romance, with an elegant demeanor and the ability to move freely, leaving ample room for maneuver for both themselves and others.
This is a special kind of relationship that can create a beautiful illusion while allowing one to rationally control and manage their emotions. It preserves beauty at its most beautiful state without destroying its ambiguity and mystery. To put it bluntly, it's an emotional drama directed and acted by the woman herself. Unable to bear the loneliness of not having fresh love, she takes charge of creating it, finding a sexy man to play the leading role, allowing herself to experience the thrill of being a queen in the play. However, since it's a play, it must return to reality… If you encounter it, think about it: if it's just to fill a void, then know when to stop to avoid causing trouble later! If you want to develop a relationship, then quickly find a brick and hit your head! Many women can't live without love, and when they lack love, they use things that resemble love as their substitute. If you become obsessed with this fifth type of relationship and hold onto fervent hopes for the future, you're very likely to get hurt!
Men's attitude towards sex is straightforward: it's a physical activity that brings intense pleasure, completely unrelated to emotions. Women, on the other hand, have an almost obsessive desire for love, often using sex to soothe love, trying to experience the warmth of being loved or at least being valued through sexual release. This often leads men to use emotions to deceive women into having sex, while women use sex to pretend to love. The fifth type of emotion can lead people into imaginary dreams, filling a person's emptiness in certain times and spaces, temporarily satisfying the desire to be needed in sex.
Few women can truly and successfully fall in love with the male protagonist in this fifth type of relationship, yet emotional women can easily develop feelings for them at some point. These men possess a charm or ability that the men around them typically lack—whether it's gentleness, sexiness, humor, gentlemanliness, wildness, or generosity… Coupled with a woman's momentary infatuation, fueled by an overwhelming desire or despair for love, she pushes them into her bed. Regardless of how much desire, loneliness, helplessness, or impulsiveness is mixed in, it's still a kind of inevitability within chance.
This fifth type of relationship is certainly not ambiguous; ambiguity is merely pure emotion. Once it's made clear and they sleep together, the ambiguity disappears. In this relationship, sex is the medium, indispensable. Women experience sexual attraction through physical contact and other means, satisfying their desire for love.
The fifth type of relationship is certainly not a one-night stand. While sexual attraction is an important component, it's not solely for sexual satisfaction. Sex is merely a tool, a means to an end, allowing the woman to experience the illusion of being loved through sexual caresses. Therefore, the object of this fifth type of relationship not only needs to be physically strong and well-endowed, but also needs to give the woman the illusion of "someone loves me" during sex. Of course, it's not limited to just one night. If love, friendship, close male/female friendship, and familial affection are the first four types of relationships, then the fifth type is more direct and profound than flirtation, yet more ambiguous and fragile than love. Men like to exchange emotions for physical pleasure, while women are accustomed to pretending to love each other in a gentle embrace.
The vulnerable groups for these two types of relationships can be roughly divided into two categories: those who are dissatisfied with their current marriages in various ways, and those whose romantic or marital relationships are weak or lack trust.
For modern young people, more and more marriages are formed based on love, but the primary factors for maintaining a long-lasting marriage are still legal constraints and child custody. Marriage is filled with the mundane details of daily life, which can lead to increasing marital conflicts. Love, and the passion fueled by initial infatuation, will face increasingly severe tests as the marriage progresses. The various details and conflicts within married life, coupled with increasing work and life pressures, cause some couples to gradually lose their initial passion for each other after marriage.
Marriages built on self-interest or even material exchange, lacking love from the outset, rely entirely on the short-lived novelty of unfamiliarity. This passion is more easily extinguished by time. When passion fades, if the couple lacks good communication, or is unwilling to communicate at all, love disappears, passion grows increasingly indifferent, and even the kinship built up through marriage and life may become bland, leaving an emptiness in their hearts.
However, people's desire for love and passion does not decrease as the love and passion between spouses diminish; in fact, it may even be further aroused. This is because marriage also has a social aspect; it's not just a matter between two people, but also involves various social relationships such as children and parents, as well as economic interests like housing, savings, and property. Therefore, people don't want to easily end their marriages. They often hope to change and balance their inner feelings through some means, obtaining the emotions they lack but desperately need without destroying their existing marriage.
These two types of relationships play this role and function. People choose them because they are relatively pure, cause little harm to their spouses, and don't require them to bear responsibility. Both parties in these types of relationships firmly, or try to firmly, maintain their rational bottom line, showing affection without being overly sentimental, taking without being presumptuous. They deeply understand the principle of not killing the goose that lays the golden eggs; "Our families must be harmonious, and we two must also be harmonious" is the golden rule for those in these types of relationships.
Some married individuals, due to distrust in their partner's love or finding marriage too mundane and stressful, yet still yearning for emotional comfort, choose relationships that fall somewhere between friendship and romance to fill the void of their romantic and sexual needs. On one hand, they use these relationships to alleviate loneliness and relieve stress from work and life; on the other hand, they demand and hope that these relationships will only bring them mental and physical pleasure, without requiring any responsibility towards each other or causing any harm.
Many people who have experienced these two types of relationships hold this mindset, which is also an important factor in their growing popularity. "Perhaps the distance between you is only 1 centimeter, but this distance must be maintained. You don't want to be together, and you won't be; you're just soulmates, forever." They pursue emotional passion rather than stability; they want to enjoy spiritual and physical rights rather than be bound by obligations.
So, what kind of people are prone to these two types of relationships?
These relationships often arise among urban dwellers with higher levels of education, secure economic lives, rich inner emotions, and stable jobs. Analyzing from a social role perspective, they generally fall into the following categories:
First, those who are "destined to be together but not meant to be." They admire and love each other, but meet too late. Each has a relatively stable relationship, so they interact under the guise of "close female friends" or "close male friends," creating a new special zone outside their respective romantic lives.
Second, those who crave passion but don't want their marriage to be disrupted. They get married... For many years, the couple's relationship has remained good, but the passion has faded. They are willing to preserve and uphold their marriage, yet seek a relatively "safe" passion outside of it, believing they must "be true to themselves and their conscience."
Thirdly, there are those who are separated from their partners for extended periods. Their relationship doesn't face major obstacles, but the long separation breeds loneliness and desire, leading them, either actively or passively, to seek a "temporary lover," using the pretext of "not disrupting their respective families" to secretly pursue their affair.
Fourthly, there are ex-lovers or partners who rekindle old flames. Having broken up for some reason, after experiencing emotional vicissitudes, recalling the good times together creates a desire to rekindle the old flame. If they unexpectedly meet again, the possibility of rekindling the old flame is high, but they lack the necessity and courage to abandon their current relationships. These two types of relationships are acceptable to both parties.
Fifthly, there are those who easily develop feelings over time. Office colleagues, online friends, or even close friends can develop mutual affection and understanding through prolonged interaction, gradually transforming from friends into a relationship that transcends mere friendship.
...
May everyone find something they like to do that suits them; find friends they like to associate with.
In other words: do what you can do, make friends with people you can make friends with, get close to those you should get close to, and stay away from those you should stay away from. Try to avoid wasting too much time and energy on trivial matters, and live a comfortable life that belongs to you. That is the greatest joy in life.

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Pursue life's passions and enjoy the greatest pleasures.

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