Strange customs

My friend Zhang, from a province in central China (I won't mention the location to avoid generalizations), returned to his hometown after graduation and partnered with friends to open a wedding planning company. Their business has been booming for the past few years. The other day, he happened to be passing through my city and we chatted for a long time, drinking until midnight.
During our conversation, I mentioned some bizarre videos circulating online about wedding night pranks—things like pouring wine into the bride's private parts, stripping the bride and groom naked and throwing them into bed, and even making the bride do indecent things to the groom in public. Zhang told me that was nothing; the games they played where he was from, especially in rural towns and urban-rural fringe areas. He said we in the wedding planning business were used to these kinds of games.
I got excited and asked him to elaborate. He kept me in suspense, insisting I toast him twice before slowly revealing his story.
Old Zhang said that what we generally understand as "teasing the bride and groom" is simply making a ruckus in the bridal chamber. However, people feel that just having the bride and groom tease each other isn't exciting enough. So, in many places, the bridesmaids are also teased. Some wedding planners even arrange for prostitutes to be bridesmaids, and the guests can do whatever they want with them. We all know this, so I won't go into details. Old Zhang took a sip of his drink and continued, "In many places where the customs are bad, many vulgarities that city people can't accept have a market in rural areas. So, in many places, weddings don't involve teasing the bride and groom, but mainly the father-in-law and daughter-in-law. This involves performing and simulating incestuous relationships, which is particularly eye-catching among men, women, and children. Then there's the performance of 'the younger brother stealing the sister-in-law,' where the groom's brother or brothers tease the bride. This is also very attention-grabbing." There are many games involved, some of which are indeed quite intense. However, there's a saying that newlyweds shouldn't be too disrespectful for the first three days of marriage, so everyone has to accept whatever the pranks are during the wedding night. Sometimes, knowing things might get out of hand, the groom might be pulled to another room beforehand, and even the mother-in-law might be asked to leave. Here are a few games Old Zhang mentioned:
1. Carrying the Daughter-in-
Law: The father-in-law must carry the daughter-in-law into the bridal chamber, but there's a specific rule: it must be a "beauty carry." The daughter-in-law faces the father-in-law, her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck, and the father-in-law supports her buttocks with his hands. Is it that simple? Wrong. The key is that the father-in-law has a date in his mouth. Throughout the process, the daughter-in-law and father-in-law must keep their mouths together, holding the date in their mouths to prevent it from falling. It's essentially a kissing embrace. If the date falls, they are punished. The father-in-law has to carry the daughter-in-law around the room three times, and the daughter-in-law has to kiss the father-in-law three times. Everyone laughs heartily.
2. The "Balloon Popping"
game involves the emcee inserting a small balloon into the father-in-law's crotch. This balloon is specially chosen—not too big, not too small, and not too full to pop easily. After zipping it up, the father-in-law lies on the bed, and the bride sits on his crotch, using her buttocks to pop the balloon. Because it's difficult to pop, you'll see the bride rubbing against her father-in-law's crotch for a long time, while onlookers cheer, "Move around more...back and forth, left and right...father-in-law, give it a few pushes too..." Often, if the father-in-law's willpower isn't strong enough, he'll react after a few pushes, making his crotch even "swollen," which can be quite embarrassing, but it also excites the crowd. Another way to play the balloon popping game is to place the balloon on the bride's buttocks, then have her bend over facing the father-in-law while holding onto the bed. The father-in-law then holds onto the bride's waist and forcefully pushes the balloon against her buttocks with his crotch—also very exciting and fun.
3. The "Leaving Kiss Marks of Fortune, Prosperity, and Longevity" and "Early Birth of a Noble Son"
game involves the bride leaving three kiss marks on her father-in-law, representing "Fortune, Prosperity, and Longevity," and then the father-in-law leaving four kiss marks on the bride, representing "Early Birth of a Noble Son." This is quite exciting, and usually, the groom and mother-in-law are asked to leave separately by the cheering crowd to avoid putting psychological pressure on the bride and father-in-law. The locations for the kiss marks are determined by the emcee or the cheering crowd. Generally, the bride has to kiss her father-in-law's neck, chest, and stomach until a kiss mark appears. Some games are even more extreme, where the father-in-law has to take off his trousers so the bride can kiss his inner thighs. The father-in-law usually kisses his wife's neck, shoulders, lower abdomen, and thighs until a kiss mark is left. Some games are even more extreme, where the father-in-law has to kiss the bride's cleavage, but this is skipped. Finally, the kiss marks are inspected by bystanders, and if they are not satisfactory, the kisses have to be repeated, and the marks must be very deep, symbolizing longevity. Moreover, the process of planting hickeys involves one person lying on the bed while the other person lies on top of them to kiss them, making the scene extra stimulating.
4. Eating peanuts
is also a very exciting game, with both easy and complicated modes. The easy mode is suitable for slightly conservative families, where the bride takes off her shoes and socks, and a peanut is placed between each of her toes. Then, the father-in-law holds up his daughter-in-law's feet and, without using his hands, bends down and eats each peanut, so that each peanut eaten is equivalent to kissing his daughter-in-law's toes. The complicated mode is much more erotic. The bride is asked to lie on the bed, then lift the hem of her cheongsam or skirt to reveal her thighs, and then close her legs, stuffing peanuts between them. The father-in-law then has to lie on his daughter-in-law's thighs and eat the peanuts one by one with his mouth, which inevitably involves his face and mouth coming into intimate contact with the inside of his daughter-in-law's thighs, making everyone very excited. There's an even more outrageous version where the daughter-in-law has to eat peanuts or other nuts from her father-in-law's body. The father-in-law sits on the edge of the bed, with peanuts or raisins placed on his crotch. The daughter-in-law then kneels before him, bends down, and eats them. Can you imagine the scene? If the father-in-law doesn't have a physical reaction at this point, he's practically a saint, or he's impotent. The point of this game is for the father-in-law to react; that's what makes everyone laugh. This has even led to more extreme variations, like using honey instead of peanuts, forcing the daughter-in-law to lick it clean. It's usually applied to the father-in-law's stomach and chest, and the daughter-in-law has to lick it with her tender little tongue. Of course, not many games go this far.
5. Warming the Bed:
This is the ultimate game in the father-in-law/daughter-in-law pranks. It usually marks the end of the game, and many onlookers come specifically for this most exciting finale. "Warming the Bed," as the name suggests, involves the daughter-in-law and father-in-law sharing a bed. The game involves the bride lying down first, then someone puts their hand under the covers to test the temperature, shouting, "Not warm enough! Not warm enough! The bride is wearing too many clothes!" At this point, the bride can only remove one piece of clothing and throw it out. Then, someone else puts their hand back in to test the temperature (if there are perverts, they might directly touch the bride, but she can't protest). Then, with more teasing, the bride continues to remove clothing. Of course, since it's a prank on the father-in-law and daughter-in-law, they won't let the bride completely undress; she'll usually still wear a bra and underwear. Then... The father-in-law, stripped down to his underwear, is about to crawl into bed with the bride. Even if he's secretly enjoying it, he's still somewhat embarrassed. The crowd will then push them together from outside the covers until they're pressed tightly together. Then, they'll jeer and urge the father-in-law and daughter-in-law to do certain things in bed, like the father-in-law hugging the daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law wrapping her legs around the father-in-law, or either the father-in-law or daughter-in-law pressing down on each other. However, unless someone is extremely shameless, even in the countryside, few would dare to do such a thing—just imagine how embarrassing it would be later!
6. Guess the Husband
The "Guess the Husband" game isn't just for the father-in-law and daughter-in-law; it's a thrilling game for the groom's friends or neighbor's lads (like Old Wang next door!). If the bride is beautiful, the lads might even fight over a spot to play. The game goes like this: the bride sits on the edge of the bed, blindfolded with a red cloth or blindfold. Several chosen lads take turns sitting next to her (the real groom is pulled away to add excitement). Each lad is required to hold the bride's hand and kiss her on the face or neck. Then, the bride is asked to touch the "groom" next to her twice, usually on the leg or belly, but not the face. The emcee then asks the bride, "Is this your husband?" If she says no, the next lad does the same, and the question is repeated. If the bride says, "This is my husband!", then the game continues. (Because the real husband is often secretly pulled away, so they will almost always guess wrong.) Then the bystanders will try their best not to laugh. Then the bride will continue to be blindfolded and do a set of actions with this man. The most common thing is to ask the bride to hug the "husband's" neck and kiss him deeply on the lips. Some will be more exciting and have the bride sit on the man's lap with her legs wrapped around his waist and kiss him deeply. Then the bystanders will count and slowly count to 10 and then suddenly remove the bride's blindfold (the so-called "slowly count" sometimes takes more than a minute to count to 10). When the bride sees that she is kissing "the neighbor's husband", she will immediately be so shy that she will tremble. At this time, the bystanders will burst into laughter. Of course, some brides are quite shrewd. After a round of men kiss them, they'll say, "None of these are my husbands!" But then the emcee will bring in a new group of men to participate in the game. This group becomes a mixed bag, with even forty- or fifty-year-old men going up to kiss the bride. The bride then realizes that this is a huge loss for her; all the men in the village can now claim to have kissed her. She might as well just find some random "wild man" to marry. So this game is arguably the men's favorite. If someone marries a fairy-like bride, this is the only opportunity they have to legitimately take advantage of her during the wedding night festivities; otherwise, they can only fantasize.
7. Filial
Piety to the Sister-in-Law: As the name suggests, this game involves interaction between the groom's brothers and the bride. Usually, it's the groom's brothers or cousins, called out by the emcee or others, who then perform a series of ambiguous actions to "filially" show respect to their sister-in-law, which the bride must cooperate with. Typical actions include:
1. The younger brother washing his sister-in-law's feet—A basin of warm water is brought over, the bride takes off her shoes and socks, and the younger brother holds her feet and puts them in the warm water. Then the younger brother squats down and repeatedly washes the bride's feet. After washing, everyone will tease and ask if the bride's feet smell nice. If they do, they will kiss them. At this time, the younger brother will lean forward and kiss the bride's soles. Only then is it considered over.
2. The younger brother trimming his sister-in-law's toenails—The younger brother sits next to the bride, places the bride's washed feet and legs on his lap, and then takes a toenail trimmer and rubs it on the bride's toes. This nail trimming is just for show; the key is that the scene looks quite exciting.
3. Feeding the sister-in-law a banana – This is easy to understand; it's exactly what it sounds like. The younger brother stands on the ground with his zipper open, revealing a peeled banana. The bride, blindfolded, squats below him, following the instructions of the crowd, hugging his leg and tilting her head upwards to touch the banana and bite into it. However, it's often not so smooth; because the bride is blindfolded, her face might accidentally rub against the younger brother's...
4. Unhooking the sister-in-law's bra – Again, as the name suggests, the younger brother has to reach inside the bride's back and unhook her bra. Usually, the crowd won't allow the younger brother to unhook the bride's bra so easily; they'll create some difficulties for him, making him touch the bride's back a little longer. After the bra is unhooked, the crowd will usually ask the father-in-law to then reach inside and fasten the straps for his daughter-in-law...
5. The bride-to-be "cools down" her brother-in-law – After these actions, the brother-in-law should be aroused, so everyone will ask the bride to "cool down" him. This action is very stimulating, and often the bride will be asked to do the same "cooling down" action for her father-in-law. That is, the brother-in-law (or father-in-law) sits on the edge of the bed with his legs apart, while the bride kneels in front of him with an ice cube in her mouth. Then she leans forward, bites the zipper on the brother-in-law's pants and pulls it down, without using her hands. Then she uses her face and mouth to open the zipper, spits the ice cube in, and bites the zipper to "close" the "door." At this point, the brother-in-law often shudders with pleasure. Some brides find this action too difficult and shameful, so they have to do another set of actions: sitting on the brother-in-law's lap with an ice cube in her mouth, hugging his neck and offering her mouth. Finally, they put their mouths together and transfer the ice cube from her mouth to the brother-in-law's mouth. This scene is also incredibly stimulating.
8. Rolling in the Sheets:
Of course, similar to the "warming the bed" game with the father-in-law, the bride and groom's friends or neighbors will also have a similar exciting game. However, they usually won't play this game again after teasing the father-in-law. "Warming the bed" and "rolling in the sheets" are usually the final games, and only one of them will be played. The one chosen to roll in the sheets with the bride is usually the one who was guessed wrong by the bride in the previous "guess the husband" game. If the bride is very beautiful, the "husband" she guessed wrong is the lucky star of the day. In addition to having the opportunity to hug and kiss the bride like before, he will also be the protagonist of a series of games where he can take advantage of the bride, including letting the bride sit on him and massage him, eating dates with the bride on the lips, etc. But "rolling in the sheets" is the biggest perk. The game involves laying a blanket on the bed. The bride lies on one side of the blanket, and the groom's friend is stripped down to his shorts. He must lie completely on top of the bride, and a playing card or napkin is placed on her mouth. The man and the bride must then hold the card or napkin in place with their mouths (essentially kissing through a piece of paper) to ensure the card doesn't fall off during the game. Then the game officially begins. The crowd grabs one side of the blanket and pushes the bride and the "man" together, making them roll around on the bed while the blanket completely covers them. At this point, everyone checks if the card is still there. If it has fallen off, the bride must be punished, such as having to drink a sip of alcohol and then feed it to the "man" mouth-to-mouth. Then the crowd started teasing them. Since the bride and the "lover" were tightly wrapped in blankets and couldn't move, and their bodies were pressed closely together, the crowd, stimulated by their senses, would push and squeeze them together even harder. Of course, some people would take advantage of the bride, such as deliberately pushing her buttocks. Finally, when they had played enough, the crowd would ask the bride, "Did your lover react?" The bride had to answer that he did. Then the crowd would ask if she enjoyed it, and the bride had to answer that she enjoyed it very much. If she answered that she didn't react, the game would continue to escalate, so the bride usually wouldn't be so stubborn.
After all that commotion, the groom, being the main character, was probably feeling utterly hopeless. Before everyone dispersed, they would still invite the groom out and have him and the bride lie in bed together. Then, amidst the cheers of the crowd, the two of them would strip naked under the covers, throwing each piece of clothing out for everyone to inspect. Needless to say, the crowd wouldn't stop until bras and underwear were thrown out. Some lewd individuals would even snatch the bride's underwear after she threw it out and "inspect" it, claiming it was to confirm it was the bride's "real" underwear. At this point, the newlyweds were lying naked in bed. Still not satisfied, the crowd would usually tell the groom to lie on top of the bride and do some things that everyone enjoyed. Having already endured this much, the newlyweds usually wouldn't refuse anymore and would comply with the crowd's requests, pretending to do so. Occasionally, when the newlyweds are naked and entwined in bed, the crowd will suddenly pull back the covers, giving everyone a feast for the eyes. The scene resembles a live sex show, and the groom will desperately try to protect the bride with his body. At this point, things are not far from ending in a complete falling out. Then, a peacemaker will step in and say, "Alright, alright, let's all disperse!" And then everyone will reluctantly leave.
Hearing this completely shattered my worldview. People in rural towns really know how to have fun; they're much more open-minded than city dwellers. I asked, "Won't all this commotion cause any conflicts?" Old Zhang said, "Of course it will. Many families sow the seeds of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law discord on the wedding day. For example, if the daughter-in-law and father-in-law's performance is too explicit or over-the-top, the mother-in-law will definitely be furious. I've also met two brides who were kissed by their husbands' friends during the wedding night pranks, and then, in the dark, their breasts and private parts were groped. They got so angry that they told their husbands, which led to a falling out between the brothers and even a physical fight.
" "Overall, these are really bad habits, even though we bystanders find it entertaining," Old Zhang concluded, taking a drag on his cigarette. "These people will have to pay for the sins they commit when they prank other people's wives on their own wedding day and their daughters' wedding day..."

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