Conservative and dissolute

I'm a girl who's not conservative yet very traditional. I'm sexy yet generous. I'm lovable yet careless. Before him, I had never been in a relationship. I'd never had a boyfriend. I went to high school and was a very well-behaved child. Then I got into a very prestigious university. People envied me for having such a beautiful and well-behaved daughter. Of course, I never thought I was pretty. Haha. God is fair to everyone. When I see couples walking hand-in-hand on campus, I feel a pang of sadness. Maybe I'm too picky, or maybe I'm just slow to notice. I always feel like an ugly duckling, ignored and unappreciated. Am I destined to be single? I often watch movies with my roommates. Every time I see my boyfriend being intimate, I feel a strange longing in my body, a longing from the deepest part. Yes, I crave to be loved. To be loved to the point of obsession. The more I want something, the less likely I am to get it. I started to despair.

Then I met him and realized that what I wanted was that electrifying feeling, love at first sight. The very first glance. He appeared. He was four years older than me. During my first year of work after graduation. The first thing I saw was his back. I actually had a feeling I wanted to touch him. His shoulders were so broad. If I didn't consciously control myself, I would want to press against them and feel them. Because he was close to my colleague, we ate together a few times. Then one day, he actually asked me out alone. I don't know how he got my phone number. That day I had a long bus ride. It was a bit congested. After getting off the bus, I felt nauseous. He picked me up at the station. He held me in his arms with great tenderness. I was shocked. No boy had ever hugged me like that before. I didn't push him away. This feeling made me feel comfortable and safe. He whispered in my ear, asking if I was feeling better. I nodded. My face felt hot. It
was already 9 pm after dinner. We walked slowly side by side on the street. The wind was a bit cool, but it felt nice against my skin. I hesitated for a moment before placing my hands in the crook of his arm. I was very careful and shy. After all, it was the first time I'd been with a guy I felt so strongly about. He placed his other hand on mine. I trembled. My abdomen started to hurt. Premenstrual symptoms. Usually like this, the pain comes suddenly and is very intense. I slowed my pace. He seemed to notice something. He asked if I was feeling unwell. I nodded. I
squatted down. He said, "Let me take you home." I agreed. The pain made me numb. We waited for a taxi for a long time. Seeing how uncomfortable I was, he suggested we go to the hospital first. I was too embarrassed to speak, and said faintly, "It's nothing. I'll be fine in a bit." Then I fainted. When I woke up, I was lying on a large bed. Pink walls. The lighting was comfortable, not glaring. He asked softly beside me, "Are you feeling better? I'll get you some hot water." Oh my god. I was actually in his arms. When he left the room, I quickly glanced at myself under the covers. Thank goodness. Nothing was missing. When he came back in, he was still blowing on the hot water, saying it was a little hot. "Let me blow on it for you before you drink it."
I smiled. Only my parents had ever given me hot water to drink. It felt so good.
What time is it?
11:30.
Huh? So late?
What? Are you going back to your dorm?
Back then, I lived in the company dormitory. There were four of us in the dorm, a very big room. But they all went to their boyfriends' places on weekends. I was the only one killing time.
Oh well, why don't you sleep here for the night? You sleep on the bed, I'll sleep on the sofa in the living room. Don't worry, I won't touch you.
But…
okay, stop with the "buts." This is my own place. No one will disturb you while you're sleeping. Except me.
Huh? …
Look how scared you are. You little rascal. I just bought this place this year, you're the first one to visit my little nest.
Haha.
Happy now? After saying that, he tapped my nose.
This is the bathroom, this is how you use the water heater.
I stood behind him, looking at his broad shoulders, not thinking about what he said.
I pressed my face against his. He paused for a moment. He turned around and asked me what was wrong?
I didn't say anything. He didn't turn around. He grabbed my hand and wrapped it around his waist. "
This is your towel. This is mine. Don't take the wrong one.
Go take a shower, I'll find you a hairdryer. And I'll find you some clothes.
Okay, little girl, stop clinging to me."
I smiled mischievously. He made a face and closed the door and left.
After showering, I stood in front of the mirror. His bathroom mirror was large. I could see my whole body.
I was stunned. Is that me?
Two firm hemispheres hung on my chest, two nipples standing obediently in the center. The areolas were pink, my collarbones were very prominent, and my shoulders were even more sexy because of the protruding collarbones.
I put the towel aside. My hand gently slid over every corner of my body. From my neck, to my shoulders.
Slowly down to my chest. What would it feel like if his hand slid over my body? When it slid to my nipples, it felt a little numb and itchy. It slid down to my flat stomach, below which was thick pubic hair. Slender legs...
Are you done showering? I got you one of my t-shirts.
Oh, you're done showering.
I quickly wrapped myself in a towel.
I opened the door, and he stared at me blankly. I was startled too. I quickly grabbed the clothes and closed the door.
His clothes were large, reaching up to my legs, but only covering my underwear. He was watching TV in the living room.
The apartment wasn't big, just a two-bedroom, but it was decorated very nicely. There was a faint lavender scent in the room. I liked it.
I stood at the bathroom door, hesitating for a long time, unsure whether to go out or hide inside and let him hide before coming out.
He stood up and asked me with concern, "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?" I looked down, feeling very panicked, and he was already within my sight, only two or three steps away. "
I...I'm fine," I smiled sheepishly. I looked up at him. He smiled too. He said, "It's okay. It's not like I'm not wearing any clothes. Did you want me to leave but were too embarrassed to say so?" I just smiled again. He said, "I'm sorry." "I really don't have any pants that fit you." He patted his waist and said playfully, "My waist is 26, you'd probably have to wrap it around twice." I laughed out loud at his words. "It's okay. Don't mind me like this." He just looked at me and smiled, a very cute young man. No, he should be called a man. Haha. "
Your house is beautifully decorated.
Do you like it? Is it a little small?" "
No. I think it's quite nice."
"Really? This house was just renovated this year. I've only lived here for a month."
"Really? I really like the colors here. They're very comfortable. Just what I wanted."
After saying that, I blushed. I regretted saying that. It seemed very impolite and inappropriate. I was also very confused at the time. Why were all my favorite colors in his house? Orange living room, grass green kitchen, milky white bathroom, purple dressing room, and pink bedroom. "Do you like them
?
" "Yes. I like them very much." "I 'm glad
you like them." The apartment has two bedrooms, but it's a bit small. However, the property management is excellent. The management fees here are twice as high as elsewhere.
Oh. I just responded casually.
The house is a bit small, but it's enough for the two of us. He was still engrossed in his renovation, but I blushed again.
The two of us, the two of us. I was secretly delighted. So he likes me too.
I should go to sleep now, you should go to sleep early too, okay? You have to go to work tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Sunday.
Oh. Haha, silly girl. He called me that for the first time. I felt a ticklish feeling in my heart.
I'm sorry, I made you feel bad today.
No, I'm happy that you came here to keep me company. Besides, of course I'm happy to have a beautiful woman sleeping in my bed, why would I feel bad?
He's a very straightforward person, so straightforward that he says whatever he thinks. There's no embellishment or concealment at all. That's exactly what attracts me to him.
I smiled.
That beautiful woman is going to sleep now. Goodnight.
There was no kiss. He stood up when I got up.
Can I hug you?
Wh...what? I was taken aback.
Can I hug you?
Uh...my heart was pounding.
Just a hug. I promise I won't do anything.
Okay. My face is burning red. My heart is pounding. Although he hugged me a few hours ago, I've never been hugged by a man like this before.
He wrapped his arms around me, one hand around my waist, the other around my back. I felt my whole body so close to him. Even though we were both wearing pajamas. My head naturally rested on his right shoulder, hugging his waist. He didn't hug me tightly, but I could feel his warmth. The warmth seemed to emanate from the deepest part of his body; I wondered if he felt the same way. Gradually, I also felt his body getting warmer.
I wasn't wearing a bra; I took it off when I showered. My breasts were pressed against his chest through my clothes.
Gradually, he tightened his grip. But I didn't feel uncomfortable. This feeling was wonderful. I never knew being hugged by someone I liked felt so good. Maybe it's because I so desperately want a man I love to hug and kiss me, to do things like a married couple. I ended up hugging a stranger so quickly.
And it was late at night. And in our own private space. I almost felt dizzy. What happened next made me like him more and more.
At least he was worth my love. Worth my devotion. He, too, gave me his all.
We hugged like that for about five minutes. He whispered in my ear, "Don't drool on my shoulder, okay?
I hate you."
We both laughed and stopped hugging.
I looked at him; his eyes clearly showed he didn't want to let go.
I said, "Let's go to sleep. Otherwise, all that lazy fat you've gained will be wasted." Haha.
I practically fled into the bedroom. I leaned against the door, winked at him, and said, "Goodnight, have a good night's sleep."
My voice was that of an underdeveloped girl. It had been like this since I was 13 or 14.
Being coquettish wasn't a fatal weapon for me anymore. I often gave people the impression of being mischievous, clever, wise, and generous. Sometimes a child, sometimes an adult. Everyone who had heard me speak thought my voice was very special. Very pleasant, though not mature, it was very melodious.
I closed the bedroom door. Just as I crawled into bed, he said from outside the door, "It's so dry, how about I pour you a glass of water and put it on the table?" I happily replied, "Okay, thank you." A
moment later, he knocked on the bedroom door with the water. The water was there. He stood in the doorway and said, "Why are you covered up so tightly by the blanket? Are you afraid I'll bully you?"
I poked my head out innocently and said, "No, no!"
He smiled and said, "Go to sleep. Sleeping alone in such a big bed, be careful of ghosts in the middle of the night.
Don't scare me. I'm very scared.
" He still smiled. "I'll turn off the light for you.
" Actually, I'm very afraid of the dark. Even here. "Thank you." My voice trembled with fear.
Watching him close the door, darkness instantly enveloped me.
I always either fall asleep when there's light on or sleep with the light on. Even when I get up to use the bathroom at night, I usually drag someone from the dorm with me. What am I going to do now? I'm going to be scared to death!
The more scared I became, the more uncomfortable I felt. That nauseous feeling from the bus ride came back up again. I took a sip of water. The water was warm. A wave of emotion washed over me. I took several deep breaths, but still felt incredibly nauseous. Maybe it was fear, maybe… I covered my mouth and ran into the bathroom. There were a bunch of switches near the bathroom door, and I pressed a bunch randomly. It was too dark to see anything.
He anxiously asked me what was wrong and ran after me into the bathroom. Seeing how badly I was vomiting, he was very worried. I waved my hand. My stomach really hurt. I rinsed my mouth and washed my face. He stood behind me, handing me this and that. It felt so good. It felt so good to have someone care. No wonder those heartbroken people rekindle their romantic journeys. I never understood it before, but now I understand a little.
After washing my face, I turned around. He carefully wiped my face. I shuddered. I had never let anyone touch my face like that before.
Are you feeling better? Is your stomach upset?
I just nodded.
Take some stomach medicine. I don't have many medicines at home, but I have some stomach medicine. Shall I look for it?
No need. I… I was a little scared.
He smiled.
"Do you want me to hold you while you sleep?"
I smiled, head down, but didn't answer.
After hanging up the towel, he hugged me again.
My body felt weak, and I just let him hold me like that. I needed him to hold me too. Before, when I had a cold or fever, I always ran around by myself. I was away studying and working, and my parents lived far away. There was no other way. "
Can you hug me?"
I didn't move.
"Fangfang, can you hug me?"
I wrapped my arms around his waist .
"I really like holding you like this, do you like it?"
I didn't expect such a big man to say something like that.
I laughed. "
Should I say I like it or not?" "
Uh… tell me what's on your mind."
"Yes. I like it." I've never let a boy hug me like this before. I've never hugged a boy like this before either.
He held me tightly. I could feel him trying to meld into his body. "
Can I carry you to bed?
" "Yes."
He lifted me up in his arms. I cried out. A little surprised. I wasn't prepared.
He laid me down and covered me with the blanket. He leaned over the bed, looking at me, and said, "Do you want me to stay until you're asleep?"
"No, you should get some rest." "I'm sorry about earlier.
" "It's okay." "You looked so uncomfortable. I'll sleep after you fall asleep."
"Are you this nice to every girl?"
"No." "
Then why are you taking such good care of me?"
I looked at him with wide eyes, hidden under the blanket. "
Because I like you."
My face flushed, and he looked at me triumphantly.
"You've fallen for me so quickly?" "
I don't know. But you give me a really good feeling. I haven't felt this way in a long time. "
A hint of sadness flashed in his eyes.
"How many girls have you liked?" "
How many?
" "Oh, dozens?
Haha, do you think I'm Pigsy? So lecherous? Well, I am lecherous too, but I've only liked two. You're the second."
I just laughed. "
Go to sleep. I'll wait here until you're asleep before turning off the light and going to sleep in the living room. Don't worry, I won't touch you.
" "Hmm… okay. But you can't always squat by the bed, can you?"
"It's okay. I think watching you sleep like this is nice. Go to sleep.
" "Well… I'm going to sleep."
I turned over, my back to him. But a moment later I turned back. "
What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
"No." "I…
do you want me to hold you while you sleep?"
I smiled.
"Yes."
He slipped under the covers. Half-lying down. I leaned against him. One arm around his waist. My whole body was in his embrace. He had a very manly scent. Not the kind of so-called "manly" smell of sweat and smelly socks. It was very pleasant. I quickly fell asleep again. In my hazy sleep, I felt him remove my hand from his body, slowly get up and get out of bed. He gently placed my hand on the bed, covered me with the blanket, and then placed a kiss on my cheek. When the light was turned off, I was truly asleep. I
slept soundly until 9 a.m. [The End]

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Conservative and dissolute

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