[Adult Humor Jokes]

Last night at a bar, I met a woman in her late twenties. Although 57, she still retained her charm. We drank and flirted for a while. She looked at me with dreamy eyes and asked if I'd ever tried a threesome with my daughter. I said no. We drank a little more, and she said, "You're lucky tonight." Then she led me to her house. She went inside, turned on the light, and called upstairs, "Mom, are you still awake?"
2. Just now on the subway, a girl suddenly yelled, "What are you staring at my chest for, you slut!" Everyone turned to look, and a man, sweating profusely and looking embarrassed, was pulled away by his friend to stand a short distance away from me. I overheard his friend say, "Why are you staring at her? She's not pretty, and she's not even curvy!"
The man said, feeling wronged, "It's rare to see someone wearing such a low-cut top with absolutely no cleavage. I want to look around some more."
3. I remember once when I went to another city to take an exam, I stayed in the same hotel as a cute girl classmate. I went to her room to play at night.
Just then, a series of seductive "ah ah" sounds came from the next room. The guy was speechless for a moment, then couldn't help but peek at the girl's reaction. At first, the girl was puzzled, but after listening intently for a long time, she blurted out, "Are there two mute people living next door? Why are they making those 'uh-huh' and 'ah-ah' sounds?"
4 One day, Lao Zhang got off the train and met a glamorous girl, so he asked: "How much is the girl?"
Girl: I'm sorry, sir, I'm waiting for someone.
Lao Zhang: 100.
Girl: Sir, I'm really waiting for someone.
Lao Zhang: 200.
Girl: Sir, why are you like this? I'm really waiting for someone.
Old Zhang: 500.
Girl: Oh, I've been waiting for you...
5 My wife said she had a dream that she had sex with someone else. I asked: Did you resist?
Wife: I don't think so.
Me: You're not even putting up a fight, let's get a divorce!
The next night, in the middle of the night, while I was sound asleep, my wife kicked me out of bed, yelling, "What are you doing?"
"I am resisting!"
6 One day, the teacher gave a question and said, "Students who fill in 2 should choose a, and students who fill in 4 should choose b."
Suddenly, a silly student blurted out, "Mom said 'b' is an insult, so we can't choose 'b'." The teacher patiently explained, "Your mom is different. Your mom's 'b' is an insult, but the teacher's 'b' is used to communicate with foreigners."
7. A newlywed couple entered the bridal chamber.
The husband said, "I studied diligently for ten years..."
I'm about to enter your exam room; this is a big exam!
The wife immediately took off her clothes, smiling, and said, "Please, examinees, enter the examination hall."
The husband finished quickly. The wife immediately took her husband's hand.
He said gently, "Don't run away, you failed the exam."
I'll give you one chance to retake the exam.
8. When Wukong borrowed the Banana Leaf Fan from Princess Iron Fan,
It was just the time when the Bull Demon King was coming home from get off work.
The Bull Demon King overheard the following conversation at his doorstep: Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm inside you!"
Princess Iron Fan: "Ah! No!!!"
Ouch! It hurts! Don't move!
Ah, please come out quickly!!! Ah…
Wukong: "Alright, I'm about to come out! Sister-in-law, please open your mouth!!!"
Princess Iron Fan: "Ah—"
Upon hearing this, the Bull Demon King left a divorce agreement at his doorstep.
She left heartbroken.
On the morning of the 9th, I accompanied a colleague to donate blood. The nurse was wearing a V-neck blouse.
The top two buttons were undone, and her breasts were full; she was intently drawing blood from her colleague.
I was watching from behind, my eyes practically glued to the screen, and I was just about to strike up a conversation when...
My colleague blurted out: "Nurse, give this guy two tubes."
The nurse asked: What?
Here comes the climax: this guy said, "Even if you stick it in my nostril, I'll still donate blood."
I... froze instantly...

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[Adult Humor Jokes]

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