Embarrassing incident

1. I bought a quilt on Taobao last time. It was very comfortable to use, so I asked my husband to give it a good review.
As a result, my silly husband wrote a review: "I used to sleep at home a few times a year, but ever since I bought this quilt, I feel uncomfortable if I don't sleep at home for a day. Choosing a good quilt makes my husband come home early."
Comment/Rant: If you choose a good blanket, your husband will really come home early; if you choose a bad blanket, your husband won't need to come home at all.
2. I asked my husband if he would mind that my breasts were small. He said, "No, if I want to touch an A cup, I'll touch your breasts; if I want to touch a C cup, I'll touch your butt; if I want to touch an E cup, I'll touch your belly. You're already very well-rounded!" I promptly kicked him away...
Comment/Rant: Flat-chested Princess plus an incredibly violent woman
3. Finally, I slept in the same bed with my girlfriend, embracing each other and whispering sweet nothings.
As it grew late, the girl said to me, "Don't just talk to me... Ah!"
I understood what she meant, so I got up, turned off the light, and hugged her, saying, "Okay, there's no light now, let's continue talking."
Comment/Rant: Don't just talk to me and suddenly you become lewd, huh?
4. I went to a restaurant with my classmates. After drinking a lot, we started swearing more. One of my friends couldn't stand it anymore, so he put down his chopsticks and said, "Damn it, everyone, speak politely!"
Comment/Rant: Everyone, speak politely! How can you be polite when everyone's talking like this?
5. My math teacher was squatting down explaining a problem to the student behind me. I reached back to grab my bag, but without looking back, I touched the teacher's butt. I even felt something was off and touched it several times!
Comment/Rant: It's normal to touch it a few more times if it doesn't feel right.
6. Today in class, my crush sat behind me. During class, she didn't bring her book, and the teacher said, "Anyone who didn't bring their book, stand up." So I gave my book to her and stood up. The teacher said, "Standing up and still acting so smug, go outside and do 500 frog jumps."
About five minutes later, the goddess came out, and I said, "Why did you come out?"
The goddess said, "Why are you giving me an English book during math class?"
Comment/Rant: If you don't flaunt your goddess, you don't need to go out or do 500 frog jumps.
7. One day, I asked an English whiz for help: "Hi whiz, I can't remember the words."
The top student said, "It's actually not difficult. Just remember how you remember your QQ password."
After listening, I was deeply moved. Back in my dorm, I promptly changed the vocabulary I needed to memorize to my QQ password.
The next day, I woke up... and damn it, I couldn't log on to QQ...
Comment/Rant: Haha, what's the QQ password? It's a word. Where is the word in the book?
8. In acupuncture class, we would ask the teacher how to treat illnesses such as headaches, fever, and internal heat, and which acupoints to needle.
Just then, a faint voice came from below, "Teacher, how do you cure bad luck?" Comment/Rant: Try sticking a few needles in your head to cure bad luck.

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Embarrassing incident

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