The fear of being dominated by premature ejaculation

Today I saw a friend asking for help about premature ejaculation, which reminded me of myself about ten years ago. Back then, I was also troubled by premature ejaculation, just like him. I couldn't help but reflect on how many detours I took back then. I started masturbating in fifth grade, around 2005 or 2006, when online movie websites were everywhere. At that time, I didn't know how to control myself when I watched movies and masturbated; I always wanted to ejaculate as quickly as possible. Gradually, it became a habit. I would ejaculate at the slightest touch, and sometimes after watching movies for a while, I couldn't control myself. I remember at my most intense period, I could masturbate four or five times in one night. (Thinking back, I was really something... *crying and laughing*) Later, I realized that even if I wanted to masturbate for a long time, I couldn't maintain an erection, and slowly I realized there was a problem. At that time, I basically considered myself "terminally ill." I remember in the early 2000s and 2010s, urology clinics were popular for penile dorsal nerve block surgery. I remember very clearly that after masturbating that year, I called the girl on duty in the early morning to ask about it. She impatiently told me the surgery cost 1999 yuan. I even fantasized that I would definitely have this surgery someday to make myself stronger, but I never went (now I'm really scared; if I had gone, I probably would have been ruined). There were also "no-fuss" groups, and I insisted on not masturbating or watching porn for a month, but it was all ineffective. Later, I wondered if it was because I hadn't had a girlfriend and hadn't truly experienced women that I was so quick. After I got a girlfriend, damn it, I was even faster than when I masturbated; I'd basically ejaculate as soon as I touched her. Later, I slowly found some techniques, tried different positions, and used two condoms, but the longest I could last was only four or five minutes. Sometimes I even had to rest while doing it. Thinking back, it was really painful. I didn't have the courage to go with the girls I met, worried that if I only lasted two minutes, other girls would look down on me. What the hell are those "human first oils" and "delay wipes"? They either made me numb and unable to get an erection, or if I did, I'd ejaculate prematurely, or they had absolutely no effect. Then, by chance, I added a men's clinic on WeChat's "People Nearby" feature. We chatted briefly, and since it was nearby, they invited me to their clinic. This was the first time I'd been ripped off. At the clinic, a seemingly respectable doctor told me that since I was so handsome, my penis definitely needed to be taken care of, otherwise how would I conquer women? Then he made me do tests, which cost me over two thousand yuan. I was speechless! That bastard doctor even poked my anus with his finger (to collect prostate fluid). Just thinking about it makes me furious. Later, this bastard doctor told me about dialysis and physical therapy, a course of which would cost seven or eight thousand yuan. That's when I realized I'd been scammed. People with similar conditions, like me, never told their families, buying and taking the medicine secretly. Later, I bought some traditional Chinese medicine. And all those therapeutic teas I bought were completely useless. The craziest thing I ever did was when someone told me to soak my glans in alternating hot and cold water while showering and to do Kegel exercises 1000 times a day. I actually believed that! You can imagine how desperate I was! (Kegel exercises did improve erections to some extent.) Later, I heard that circumcision would help, so I got it done. Actually, I didn't need it done; the doctor told me it was optional, but I still went ahead and did it anyway. After the surgery, there was only a tiny bit of effect—or rather, almost none at all. I think it was mostly psychological. Later, I went to Japan for work. During those two weeks there, I met a fellow sufferer with similar problems through a casual chat. He recommended a doctor to me, saying he had similar experiences and had good results after treatment. I went to the doctor's office and met him. We talked about my situation, and he gave me some treatment plans and prescribed some traditional Chinese medicine (I was really surprised that a Japanese person knew about traditional Chinese medicine). He told me that whether or not to take the medicine depended on the results of my exercise regimen. I did the exercise, but I didn't take the medicine. I bought the exercise equipment back in China. Overall, the process was very painful. It would be difficult for most people to persevere. For two months, I encouraged myself every day and marked each day on the calendar. When I saw the results after two months, I clearly remember spending 700 yuan to find a woman who looked okay in a photo. When we met, I found the woman to be rather ordinary, quite different from her photos. Because I was eager to test my results (it had been a long time since I'd been with a woman), I booked a hotel room for 700 yuan for the whole night. I was worried about failing on my first time and wanted to see how it went the next morning. After we both showered, we lay in bed watching TV, being rather reserved. Later, I chatted with the woman. After she undressed, I realized she was flat-chested (which annoyed me). She teased me, saying she wanted to see my circumcised penis. Then she played with it and put it in her mouth. I'd had oral sex before and usually ejaculated in two minutes, but this time, as she masturbated, I used willpower to control myself. Surprisingly, I didn't feel that urgent urge to ejaculate. After several seconds, I overcame the sudden wet, slippery feeling. I wasn't so agitated anymore, not so rushed, and my reaction wasn't as strong. She gave me oral sex for about three minutes. I pushed her head away, made her take out the condom, and prepared to mount her. After she put it on me, I started with a missionary-style approach, but after a minute, something felt off, and I started to feel it, so I immediately stopped. I had her lie face down, changed positions, and took the opportunity to get up and drink some water. I remember clearly that I drank almost a whole bottle of water in one go, drinking until I felt full, which was also a way to distract myself. Then I started doggy style, and while doing so, I recalled what the doctor had told me, controlled my emotions, and distracted myself. Gradually, I got used to the temperature and the feeling of being enveloped. I found that I could thrust with ease, a pleasure I had never experienced before, never! For the first time, I could be so, so at ease. I was still talking to myself. I don't remember exactly how long that time lasted. If everything before was 0, this time it was definitely 1. For me, 2, 3, 4, and 5 weren't important. What was important was the change from 0 to 1. The next morning, following the same steps, I vaguely remembered the tips I had gained from last night's experience, and I cautiously yet recklessly worked on her. Before leaving, I chatted with her about the issue of timing. She said the fastest men she'd met ejaculated before even taking their pants off, some ejaculated in 123 seconds, and others lasted an hour. I asked her how long our two encounters lasted, and she said about ten minutes, which she considered relatively good (I secretly rejoiced). After getting a girlfriend, things gradually improved, except for a few brief separations where the ejaculation was only a few seconds, she was generally satisfied with the timing. Thinking about all the detours and pitfalls she'd taken over the years, it's all tears. I must properly educate my son in the future, preventing him from indulging in excessive sexual activity and learning this bad habit too early.

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The fear of being dominated by premature ejaculation

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