Today I touched my cousin's breasts.

Family Incest - [Today, I touched my cousin's breasts]

I'm a senior in high school, and my cousin is a junior; we go to the same school. My cousin had a fever for the past two days, so I went to see her after school this afternoon. When I got to her house, she had just come back from the hospital after getting an injection and was still sleeping, but she woke up as soon as I arrived and smiled at me.

My aunt came in and said a few words, telling my cousin to get up, brush her teeth, wash her face, etc., but she refused to get up. My aunt couldn't persuade her and went to make dinner. I sat and chatted with her for a while, and she said she felt hot. She was covered with a thick quilt, and I said there was no other way; she needed to sweat it out to bring down the fever, and if she felt uncomfortable, she should change her clothes. Then her face seemed to turn red, and she said she was only wearing a bra underneath. I couldn't help but blush and my heart raced a little when I heard that. My cousin and I are the kind of people who can talk about anything, but we don't think we've ever been that intimate.

I saw a dry towel next to the pillow, probably for wiping sweat, so I said, "Why don't you wipe your sweat? It'll be easy to catch a cold if you stay damp. I'll go out for a bit." She said she didn't dare move, afraid that a draft would get in. I said, "Then I'll ask your aunt to wipe you." Actually, my heart was already pounding when I said that. After saying that, I sat there without moving. My cousin didn't say anything, her eyes staring straight ahead. In a moment of impulse, I don't know what I was thinking, I said, "How about I wipe you?"

My cousin still didn't say anything. After a while, just as I was about to say that I was joking, I heard her make what sounded like a soft "hmm." The sound was so soft that I wondered if I had misheard, but I didn't dare ask again, afraid that she would say no again. So I quickly grabbed the towel, feeling a little nervous and a little excited.

I spread the towel in my hand and put it under the covers. As soon as I put my hand in, I felt a wave of heat. I was sitting quite close to the front, so I touched my cousin's abdomen first. It was very hot; I could feel it even through the towel. I rubbed her breasts back and forth a few times, my palm seemingly brushing against her chest. I didn't dare look at her face. After rubbing her abdomen, I rubbed her waist, then I didn't know where to rub next. My heart pounded nervously. Should I rub her chest? Would that be legitimate? I tried moving my hand, pretending to accidentally touch my cousin's chest from below. She moved slightly but didn't say anything. Was that a tacit agreement? Mustering my courage, I reached up and touched her.

My cousin didn't move. I didn't dare look at her, my heart pounding. The sensation in my hand made me dizzy. Although it wasn't the first time I'd touched a girl's chest, and this time it was through a towel, the feeling… I don't know how to describe it. My cousin's breasts weren't large, but they were very soft and warm, rising and falling with her breath. I didn't dare move my hand. It lingered on her chest for two or three seconds before I quickly withdrew it.

I was afraid my aunt would come in, but I also thought that her footsteps would make a sound. Where was my cousin? Will she think I'm a pervert? She certainly won't say it, but she might be thinking... What should I do? I stood there holding the towel, lost in thought, when my cousin suddenly said, "Maybe... I should do it myself." Hearing her say that, my face burned. I said okay, and handed her the towel, thinking, "Oh no, I'll never see her again." My cousin took the towel, seemed to glance at me (I didn't dare look at her), and whispered, "You didn't even help me wipe it..." I was stunned. So she was upset that I didn't wipe it for her, not that I touched her breasts? I looked up at her; her face was clearly red. Seeing me look up, she quickly turned her head away. My heart skipped a beat. The expression on her face was definitely one of shyness. What did she mean by what she just said? I had already touched her breasts, and she still wanted me to wipe them for her? Was she implying that I could touch them? Even... rub them?

Thinking this, I couldn't help but start to get aroused. I awkwardly squeezed my legs together and asked my cousin, "Then... do you still want me to wipe them?" My cousin whispered, "Whatever." A surge of excitement coursed through me; she had indeed given her consent.

So I grabbed the towel again and slipped it inside. This time, I touched her breasts directly, wiping the part that was exposed outside her bra—it was so soft. I really wanted to slip my hand all the way in, even wiping what was inside the bra, but then I remembered that those were her breasts, and that would be too inappropriate, so I didn't.

After wiping her breasts, I wiped my cousin's back and legs. While wiping her legs, I was so nervous that my whole body was trembling; I wondered if my cousin had noticed. I didn't dare wipe too high, only going up to a little above her knees, even though I could feel how wet and hot her legs were. But if I went any higher, the back of my hand would touch her skin.

After wiping, my penis was rock hard, and I felt incredibly ashamed, like I had committed incest.

I didn't leave my cousin's room until my aunt said it was time to eat.

After returning from my cousin's house, I kept thinking about what had happened on her bed. Looking back, it felt like a dream—I had actually touched my cousin's breasts! Not only did I touch her, but I even rubbed my hands against her! My hands still seemed to retain her warmth, that warm, even scalding feeling, that soft, elastic touch—it all came from my cousin… I berated myself, yet I couldn't help but relive the events of just moments ago. That night, while showering, I finally couldn't resist imagining my cousin's face and masturbated in the bathroom.

After ejaculating, a wave of shame washed over me. I stared blankly at myself in the mirror, a wave of panic washing over me: I had actually had such strong, inappropriate thoughts about my cousin!

My cousin and I are less than a year apart in age, and we live close by. Although we weren't exactly childhood friends, we were quite close. She went to the same high school as me, and sometimes my dad would take her with him when he took me to school, so she often ate at my house. I occasionally ate at her house too. My uncle wasn't often home, and sometimes when my parents were too lazy to cook, I would eat with her and my aunt.

When I was very young, I often slept with my cousin, and we even bathed together. There's a photo, taken by my dad, of us naked, taken right at my house. My cousin said she wanted to throw it away several times, but I wouldn't let her. As we grew older, we became a little more reserved with each other, but we still talked about everything. My cousin loved to ask about me, like when I had a girlfriend, my first kiss, and things like that.

After starting high school, especially in my second year, my cousin changed a lot. She became slimmer, her complexion improved, and her hair and clothes changed. She used to wear a ponytail, but now her hair was shorter and down, just reaching her shoulders. I saw her almost every day, so I never noticed any change until one day I saw her middle school graduation photo. I suddenly realized that she was almost a completely different person compared to then; in a word, she had become "womanly."

I think it was from that day on that I started to have different feelings for my cousin. This feeling wasn't obvious at first, until one time, we had our first physical intimacy since we grew up.

We were in my dad's car, I forget where we were going, my mom was in the front, and the four of us—me, her, my aunt, and my uncle—were crammed into the back. We were pressed tightly together the whole way; it was summer, and we were both wearing shorts.

Although I leaned forward to try and avoid direct contact, my legs wouldn't move, remaining pressed together and rubbing against each other. I got an erection then and there, my first time with my cousin.

After that, my attention to her became increasingly obvious. I noticed what clothes she wore every day, what shoes she wore, what colors she liked, whose songs she listened to, and so on. Last semester I got a girlfriend, but my attention to my cousin didn't decrease; sometimes I would unconsciously compare her to my girlfriend (I hadn't even realized this before, only now realizing it as I write this—I still often compare them).

But despite all this, until last night, we hadn't had any more intimate behavior. Then, seemingly suddenly, I touched her breast. I had never even considered this before, not because I was afraid to, but because I had never even entertained such a thought. But last night, everything happened so naturally. She was covered in sweat and asked me to wipe her down, so I did, and then, driven by male impulse, I touched her. She didn't flinch, didn't blame me, and even blushed… And thinking about it carefully, it seemed like she was hinting at and encouraging me to touch her.

Could it be… that she likes me too?

One thing seems to explain the situation: my cousin is quite pretty, but she's never had a boyfriend in her life.

...What if she really likes me too? Can we develop a relationship?

Although I'm no longer a virgin, what happened with my cousin last night still makes me incredibly nervous and ashamed. If we go any further, it'll become incest! Could it be that I'm going to...? I woke up late today, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and grabbed a towel. As soon as I picked up the towel, yesterday's scene vividly reappeared before my eyes.

I lay in bed all night thinking about it, sometimes telling myself I couldn't develop feelings for my cousin, sometimes laughing at myself, saying she could never like me, it was just wishful thinking on my part. Her face turned red, but what's so strange about that? What girl wouldn't feel embarrassed if someone touched her chest? Especially since I'm her brother... But the moment my hand touched the towel, all my thoughts from last night were instantly overturned. I washed my face hastily, my mind a jumbled mess. What should I do? I can't stop thinking about her, I can't control myself. Back in my room, I sat on the bed for a while, lost in thought. I made up my mind: I'd go see my cousin again . Maybe seeing her would make all these self-torturing thoughts disappear.

Before going, I made a phone call. Listening to the "beep beep..." sound, I was incredibly nervous, like when I called my first love in middle school. My mind kept thinking: What if my cousin answers? What if my cousin answers? Thankfully, the phone was answered. It was my aunt. She said they were about to head to the hospital.

My heart relaxed. I said "oh," exchanged a few pleasantries, and was about to hang up when my aunt said, "Are you free this morning?

If not, come over. I'm going to buy groceries later. Can you watch Jiajia for me?"

I forgot to mention earlier that my cousin's name is Jia, and I call her Jiajia too. She calls me brother.

I rushed to the hospital without even having breakfast, as nervous as someone rushing to see their loved one for the last time in a TV drama. When I arrived at the hospital, I looked for the injection room on the first floor, searching several times before finally finding it. My cousin was sitting in a chair, and my aunt was standing behind her with her arm around her shoulder, preparing to give her an injection. Seeing me, she excitedly called out, "Brother!" as if she'd seen a savior.

The nurse who was giving her the injection glanced at me and smiled at my aunt, "Is he your son too? You're so lucky!" My aunt laughed, "No, he's my brother's." Then the nurse said to my cousin, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, your brother's here to cheer you on." My aunt laughed at my cousin, "You've had so many injections, I don't know what you're afraid of." My cousin looked a little aggrieved and said, "Yesterday's injection hurt." The nurse laughed, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, it doesn't hurt at all, it's like a mosquito bite."

My cousin's veins were very thin, only a faint blue, but the nurse skillfully inserted the needle, getting it in on the first try. After securing the needle, the nurse asked my cousin, "Did it hurt?" My cousin smiled, "Yes, it didn't hurt at all, Auntie, you're amazing! I'll have you give me injections every day from now on." The nurse and my aunt both laughed. My aunt said, "This is your last day of injections. You can't have them every day now."

My aunt knew a senior doctor there, so she asked my cousin to go to his rest room. There was a small bed there, so my cousin lay down to receive the IV drip. My aunt sat by the bed talking to her, while I stood awkwardly beside her. Occasionally, my eyes would meet my cousin's, and I would nervously look away. Fortunately, my aunt didn't seem to notice anything unusual between us. Around 10 o'clock, my aunt said to me, "I'm going to buy groceries first. You two chat, and rest when you're tired. We'll go back for lunch together." My cousin said, "Mom, how about... how about we eat out for lunch?" My aunt said, "How can we eat out? You're sick. You have to be careful about what you eat." Then she gave a few more instructions and left. So, only my cousin and I were left in the rest room again.

There was a moment of silence, and the atmosphere was very strange. For a moment, I didn't know who I was facing.

My cousin spoke first, saying, "I told my mom you didn't need to come..." I smiled casually, "It's okay, I don't have anything to do anyway."

She asked, "Don't you have to study?"

I said, "I'm so dizzy from studying, I just need a break.

" She said "Oh," and fell silent, fiddling with her sleeve.

The silence was oppressive, but I couldn't pretend she wasn't there. I tried to make conversation: "Is today the last day?"

She paused, "What last day?

" I said, "The injection."

She said "Oh" again, nodding, "Yeah, but I don't feel better yet."

I asked, "Do you still have a fever?"

She said, "I don't know, I'm still dizzy."

Normally, I would have reached out to feel her forehead, but today, I wouldn't dare do that.

I said, "Even if the fever goes down, you'll still feel dizzy. Was it really high this time?"

She nodded: "Yeah, I had a fever of almost 39 degrees the day before yesterday..." My heart skipped a beat. That's a really high fever; I've never had a fever above 38 degrees since I was a child. I asked, a little reproachfully, "How could you have such a high fever? You're not taking care of yourself."

She lowered her head and said, "It's not like I made it rise."

Then she fell silent. I looked left and right, but my gaze kept drifting to my cousin's chest. She was wearing a pinkish-yellow pullover today, half-lying down, her breasts bulging... I cursed myself inwardly, unable to sit still any longer. I stood up and said, "I'll go buy a book or something. Do you want to read anything?"

She shook her head first, then nodded and said, "Okay, buy a copy of 'Marriage and Family'."

I was taken aback. I had only wanted a copy of Sports Weekly or Reader's Digest, and she wanted to read "Marriage and Family"? Isn't that a magazine for older women?

At the newsstand outside the hospital, I bought Sports Weekly and asked if they had "Marriage and Family." The owner said no, and then looked at me with a strange expression. Was it really necessary...? It wasn't like I bought the book in the first place. So I bought a copy of Reader's Digest.

Back home, I gave it to my cousin, telling her it didn't cover marriage and family. My cousin took the book, suddenly smiled, and asked, "Did the person selling the books laugh at you?" I was taken aback. Was she deliberately teasing me? I knew she wouldn't read this kind of book!

Seeing her smile, I smiled too, and the atmosphere lightened considerably. She held the book, I held the newspaper, but neither of us read, we just chatted. We talked about studies, about Detective Conan. Quite tacitly, neither of us mentioned yesterday's events.

The IV drip started slowly, a 350ml bottle. If it were me, it would be finished in less than an hour, but my cousin was very slow. More than an hour had passed, and only half of it was gone. It looked like it wouldn't be finished until before midnight. My cousin had been half-lying down, then lay down, and after a while, sat up again, looking a little strange. I asked, "What's wrong?" My cousin hesitated for a moment, then said, "Nothing." But her face was slightly flushed.

After a while, she finally couldn't hold it in any longer and said, "Brother, I need to go to the toilet."

Toilet? I was stunned. She still had an IV drip in her hand; how could she go to the toilet? I said, "It's not convenient right now. How

about we go after the drip is finished?" My cousin blushed, hummed in agreement, and lowered her head to read. That awkward atmosphere seemed to have returned. I also picked up the sports magazine, flipping to the slam dunk section, but I couldn't concentrate. I knew that IV drips made it easy to need to urinate, and it looked like it would take at least an hour to finish this drip; holding it in until then wasn't realistic. Should I speed up the drip rate? That would be faster, but the urge to urinate would be even stronger. What to do?

Should I find a chamber pot, go out, close the door, and let my cousin relieve herself inside? But then I'd have to empty it for her… I thought and thought, but I couldn't think of a solution. It seemed I had no choice but to take her to the toilet.

I glanced up at my cousin and said, "Why don't we go to the restroom? It's not good to hold it in." My cousin nodded and said, "Okay." There weren't any metal stands for hanging IV drips in the break room, so I had to hold the IV drip up my arm and walk slowly with my cousin. When we reached the women's restroom, my cousin asked, "Is anyone in there?" There was no response. I composed myself and said, "Let's go in." So, holding the IV drip up my arm, my cousin and I went into the women's restroom.

This was my first time in a women's restroom. Apart from the lack of urinals, it was the same as the men's restroom, nothing special.

My cousin went into a stall and closed the door. I stood outside with the IV drip up my arm, lost in thought. Suddenly, I heard my cousin scream. I quickly asked, "What's wrong?" My cousin said in a trembling voice, "I'm bleeding!"

My cousin was clearly frightened. She said, "There's blood coming out of the injection site!" I was startled and suddenly realized that I had held the IV drip up too low. I quickly straightened my arm and asked, "Now, has it gone back?" My cousin exclaimed, "Yes, it's gone back." I chuckled and said, "Don't make a fuss, hurry up and pee, it'll be bad if someone comes in."

I heard a rustling sound from inside, and my heart started racing. Then the IV drip moved, and I knew my cousin had squatted down. My blood pressure spiked, and I involuntarily held my breath, waiting for the urinating sound.

After a while, there was no sound. I asked curiously, "What's wrong, Jiajia?" My cousin whispered from inside, "You're here, I... I can't pee..." My heart pounded, and I asked, "Then... what should we do?"

My cousin said, "Can you plug your ears?"

I said, "I'm holding the IV drip, so I can only plug one side.

" My cousin said, "Then you can press your other ear down with your arm..." I said, "Okay." So I used my left hand to plug my left ear, pressed my right ear against my right shoulder, and held the IV drip in my hand—a very tiring position. I said, "All done!"

As if to prove something, I pressed my ears down very tightly, so no sound could get in. I nervously stared at the restroom door, most afraid that a woman would come in at this moment and see me standing in such an awkward position in the women's restroom, and might start shouting, which would be troublesome.

My right hand got tired after holding it up for less than half a minute. I wanted to switch hands, but then I thought my cousin should be done urinating, so it should be okay to put my hand down. So I opened my ear and just heard the last bit of urination. Then came the sound of flushing water. More than a minute later, my cousin opened the door and came out, turning her head to the side, not daring to look at me, her face red to the roots of her ears.

I said somewhat guiltily, "I didn't hear anything."

My cousin said "Oh" and turned to walk out the door. I was afraid she would pull the IV line, so I quickly followed her.

Back in the rest room, my cousin lay down and said, "Brother, I'm going to sleep for a bit. Wake me up when the IV is almost finished." I nodded and looked down at the newspaper.

My cousin was sleeping on her side, with her back to me. My eyes were fixed on the newspaper, my eyes were on Kobe, but my heart was full of my cousin. I stole a glance at her. The sunlight streaming in through the window perfectly outlined her profile, the curves of her waist and hips. The snow-white sheet covered her waist, her left hand resting gently on her lap. Her sleeping posture was casual, with a touch of languid elegance.

I looked for a while, then a while longer, until everything else disappeared from my eyes except for her. I leaned forward slightly, my gaze falling on her hand—the only exposed skin on her body, snow-white and delicate. The vein with the IV was slightly swollen, with a small patch of bluish bruising, probably from when she went to the toilet. I couldn't resist reaching out and stroking the back of her hand, if only that could wipe away the bluish bruise. But I didn't dare. I wanted to, but I didn't dare.

Last night, she lay in bed, and I sat beside her. I touched her, her whole body. Now, she lay in bed again, and I sat beside her again. But I didn't even dare touch her hand.

Was the me from yesterday really me…? Was the Jiajia from yesterday really Jiajia…? It all felt like a dream. But what lay before me now felt so real.

"Jiajia," I whispered.

My cousin stirred slightly and replied, "Hmm?"

You… I opened my mouth, "You're not asleep yet?"

My cousin whispered, "Almost… What's wrong?"

I hesitated, swallowing the words that were on the tip of my tongue, and only said, "Nothing, go to sleep, I'll watch you."

I wanted to say, Jiajia, if only you weren't my cousin… I just kept watching my cousin like that, until my eyes felt sore, then I turned to look at the dripping medicine on the IV tube, a little dazed.

The medicine was dripping very slowly, I counted, about 60 drops per minute. There was about a third left in the bottle, just over a milliliter. I remembered from chemistry class that one milliliter is 20 drops, so this 100 milliliters would take another 30 or 40 minutes to drip… I calculated idly in my mind, then looked down at my cousin's slightly swollen hand and slowed the drip rate down a little more.

I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I was worried about her pain, maybe I wanted her to sleep a little longer, maybe... just to spend more time alone with her, even a little more would be good.

Around midnight, the IV drip finally ran out. I woke my cousin up and went out to the injection room to find a nurse. I went to the room I'd come from, but didn't see the nurse who had given my cousin the injection. I knew that nurse was quite skilled; she wouldn't hurt when she removed the needle. I went to two more rooms, but still couldn't find her. She probably had already gone home, and the nurses left were on duty. Were they alright? I was a little worried, but there was nothing I could do, so I just found one who looked kind.

When the needle was removed, my cousin hissed. The nurse told my cousin to press on the cotton swab, but after a few seconds, blood started flowing. I quickly grabbed the cotton swab and pressed it on. I pressed for about five minutes before removing the swab and found that the injection site was quite swollen, with a dent from the pressure. "

Does it hurt?" I asked my cousin.

My cousin shook her head and said, "It doesn't hurt anymore... but it looks awful..." I held her hand, and subconsciously extended my thumb to gently stroke the bruise. After touching it, I suddenly realized that even I, who had been staring at my cousin like that, was getting a sore throat. I turned to look at the IV drip, a little dazed.

The drip was very slow; I counted, about 60 drops per minute. There was about a third left in the bottle, just over a milliliter. I remembered from chemistry class that one milliliter is 20 drops, so this 100 milliliters would take another 30 or 40 minutes to drip... I calculated idly in my mind, then looked down at my cousin's slightly swollen hand and slowed the drip rate a little more.

I didn't know what I was thinking; maybe I was afraid she would be in pain, maybe I wanted her to sleep a little longer, maybe... just to spend more time alone with her, even a little more would be good.

Around midnight, the IV drip finally ran out. I woke my cousin up and went out to the injection room to find a nurse. When I got to the room I had come from, I didn't see the nurse who had given my cousin the injection. I knew that older woman was quite skilled; she definitely wouldn't feel any pain removing the needle. We went to two more clinics, but still couldn't find her. She'd probably already gone home, and the nurses left were the on-duty nurses. Were they alright? I was a little worried, but there was nothing I could do, so I just picked one who looked friendly.

When the needle was removed, my cousin hissed. The nurse told my cousin to press on the cotton swab, but after a few seconds, blood started flowing. I quickly took the cotton swab and pressed it down. After about five minutes, I removed the swab and found the injection site quite swollen, with a dent from the pressure. "

Does it hurt?" I asked my cousin.

She shook her head and said, "It doesn't hurt anymore… but it looks awful…" I held her hand, instinctively extending my thumb to gently stroke the bruise. After touching it, I suddenly realized what I'd done and quickly pulled my hand back.

My cousin covered the back of her left hand with her right, a little embarrassed, and said, "Let's go home."

For the next two days, I was completely unable to study; my original revision plan was completely ruined. Before bed, I took out several large photo albums and looked at all the pictures of my cousin, one by one. Familiar photos, familiar faces and figures, yet somehow strangely familiar. There was one taken when she was five or six years old; my cousin was hugging a brown teddy bear, lying on the bed, and I was riding on her back, both of us laughing happily. There was another one, taken secretly by my uncle at the beach; my cousin was sitting, and I was squatting beside her talking to her, her arm around my shoulder as she laughed. At that time, my cousin's figure was already well-developed; even sitting, her curves were evident. There was also a photo taken last year, when she had just changed her hairstyle; that photo was particularly beautiful, so I asked her to print one for me… Looking at those photos, I kept asking myself, were we just siblings? Why didn't we seem like that? If we were to say they were boyfriend and girlfriend, it would seem quite believable… My cousin in the photo materialized into a moving figure, just like yesterday when she was wearing the yellow pullover. She smiled and said to me, “Brother, I like you…” I thought of the novel *Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils*. I remember when I first watched *Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils*, I really hoped Duan Yu and Mu Wanqing would end up together. The part where they were imprisoned in the stone chamber made me fantasize countless times.

I even had a very perverse thought: I wanted to ask my mother if I was her and my father’s child.

Monday arrived in the blink of an eye, and I went to school, back to the tense and monotonous study. I thought the brutal review of senior year would pull me back to reality, but it was no use. My cousin had completely occupied my mind, making me feel that only she was real, only my feelings for her were real, as if senior year was just a dream.

After class, I stood in the corridor, lost in thought. The students next to me looked down, commenting on the girls passing by.

Suddenly, I heard someone say, “Tang Jia is out!” My heart skipped a beat, and I quickly looked down. Sure enough, I saw my cousin walking side by side with another girl. She was wearing a white, oversized collared sweater, and she still looked so beautiful. A classmate next to me laughed and said, "Zhe, introduce your cousin to us! We're almost graduating, and we still don't know her." I said, "It's no use knowing her; she has a boyfriend." The classmate didn't believe me and asked, "Who is it? I've never seen her before." In my mind, I thought, "She's right in front of you."

I didn't study much all day. After school, my girlfriend came to find me. My girlfriend's name is Chen Shan. She's in the humanities class. We met in the student council in our second year of high school, and she became my girlfriend last semester. She's the kind of girl who's very outgoing and sociable, and she's also very pretty. She knows how to dress herself well, making a striking first impression. In terms of facial features, she's not as good as my cousin. Her most attractive feature is her figure. Compared to my cousin, she's the more voluptuous type, with a large bust and shapely hips. My cousin's breasts and hips aren't large. I asked her measurements, but she wouldn't tell me, though I know she wears an A cup. However, her proportions are excellent; she has long legs and a perfect frontal curve.

Comparing them, I realize that in my mind, my cousin has always been a cut above Chen Shan… When Chen Shan saw me, she asked, "What are you doing tonight?"

I said, "What could I be doing? Going home to study."

She smiled and said, "Then come to my house and study together." Looking at the smile in her eyes, I was about to ask when she leaned close to my ear and whispered, "My parents aren't home tonight."

My heart skipped a beat. I said, "This… isn't that a bit inappropriate?"

She said, "What's inappropriate? I'll be waiting for you at seven tonight. You dare not come?"

She glared at me, snorted, then smiled sweetly at me again and walked away without looking back.

Back home, after dinner, I looked at the clock; it was already past seven. Thinking about the pile of revision I'd fallen behind on these past few days, I really didn't want to go. My dad saw me fidgeting and asked, "What's wrong?" I said, "Annoying." Dad laughed and said, "If you're annoyed, go read a book." I said, "I can't concentrate at home." Dad said, "If you can't concentrate, then don't. Come watch TV with me."

I stood up and said, "I'm going to school anyway, I'll be back later." Dad stood up too and said, "Don't be too late, do you want me to pick you up?" I said no. Then I grabbed two test paper sets, said goodbye to Mom, and went out.

It wasn't my first time at Chen Shan

's house, but it was the first time I went alone. When she opened the door and saw me, her first words were, "If you're an hour late, you'll see how you die!" The living room was dimly lit, only her room was brightly lit. After entering the room, Chen Shan closed the door and locked it. I asked, "Didn't your parents go out? Why did you lock the door?" She said, "It feels safer this way." I laughed and said, "We're just reading and doing some exercises, what's there to be unsafe about?" She chuckled and said, "If

you can concentrate, then go ahead and read." I said, "Why can't I concentrate?" She took off her coat and tossed it on the floor, then sat down at the table and began studying.

In the dressing mirror, I could see Chen Shan sitting on the bed, smiling at me. After a while, seeing that I ignored her, she came over to watch me do my problems. After a while, she suddenly pointed to my answer and said, "This is wrong, it should be!" I looked at it; it was clearly a B. I said, "Don't mess with me." She said, "Look at the answer if you don't believe me!" Hearing her serious tone, I didn't think she was messing with me, so I flipped to the back of the page with some skepticism. It was a B. I turned and glared at her. She giggled and said, "This is a test for you, proving you don't have confidence yourself." I ignored her and continued doing my problems. She leaned closer again and whispered, "Guess if my cup size is B or C?"

The question itself wasn't particularly suggestive, but the way she said it, the tone of her voice, was full of seduction. As she spoke, she pressed against my back, her breasts against mine, and even through my sweater, I could clearly feel her two soft mounds. A tingling sensation ran through me, like I'd been electrocuted. I said, "Stop fooling around, let's read a book first, okay?" She laughed, "What am I fooling around with? I'm just asking you a question." I kept thinking about her question: B or C? I only knew her breasts were big, but I'd never confirmed whether they were B or C. My cousin is an A, so why did I know so clearly?

The stimulation on my back intensified, and I finally couldn't resist. I put down my pen, turned around, and pushed her onto the bed, reaching my hand inside her clothes. I said, "Let me measure."

My hand touched something soft and I was shocked: Chen Shan wasn't wearing a bra! My palm covered her breast; it was large, easily filled with one hand, and would spill out if I squeezed it. This size definitely wasn't just from a quick squeeze. Chen Shan's breathing quickened. She said, "Have you guessed it yet?"

I smiled and whispered in her ear, "It's a C." She chuckled, "Right."

I laughed again, "The one on top is a C, and the one on the bottom is a B." Chen Shan was stunned, not quite understanding. It took her a while to realize what she meant, and she glared at me, saying, "Don't say such nasty things!"

My face flushed, and I didn't know why I suddenly blurted out such vulgar words. We lay on the bed and caressed each other for a while. Chen Shan said, "Shall we take off our clothes?" I asked, "Now?" She was a little unhappy and said, "If not now, then when? Do you still want to study?" I hesitated for a moment and said , "How about we skip that tonight? I have class tomorrow, I'll be sleepy.

" Upon hearing this, Chen Shan immediately took her hands off my back, staring at me without moving, not saying a word, but her gaze was intense, clearly saying: Are you that useless?

I knew Chen Shan's temper; angering her would only cause more trouble, so I pulled her hands back onto my back and kissed her. While kissing her, I unzipped her pants. Chen Shan was wearing tight jeans, which were difficult to take off. She sat up a little impatiently, and I grabbed her pant leg and pulled it down, pulling off her underwear as well, so I simply took them off as well.

Chen Shan sat up straight and took off her clothes, and I did too. Soon, we were both naked. I pressed myself against her, our skin rubbing against each other, locked in a hungry embrace. After a while, Chen Shan grasped my penis, panting, and said, "Come in..." I was burning with desire, but my mind was still clear. I asked, "What if we don't have condoms?"

She gasped, "My period just ended a few days ago, it's okay..." I slapped her buttocks and said, "Be careful! Do your parents have any?"

Chen Shan said impatiently, "How would I know where they are!" She pushed me away and sat up.

I was stunned for a moment, wanting to say, "I'm only thinking of you." But then I thought it would be too sentimental, so I didn't say anything.

Chen Shan got out of bed, reached into the bedside table drawer, took out a condom, and tossed it to me, saying, "Here's some. You like condoms so much, just use this!"

I quickly caught it, wondering how she had condoms herself. I climbed over the bed and opened the drawer; there was still half a box inside. Seriously? Chen Shan and I hadn't done it many times, and I always brought my own condoms. How could she have so many? I looked at her suspiciously. She said, "What are you looking at? I bought them for myself!"

I said, "How are you going to use them? You're not a man."

She frowned and said, "How can you be so stupid! I'm not talking to you anymore, think about it yourself."

I lay on the bed, propping my head up with one hand, unable to understand how a girl would use a condom. Did she just blow it on?

Chen Shan panicked and kicked me: "Hey! You really want to wear it? Are you going to wear it or not?"

I snapped out of my daze, looked down at my crotch, and saw that my penis had gone limp. Chen Shan turned away angrily, her shoulders trembling. I thought she was crying, so I quickly pulled her over and made her sit on my lap, saying, "I was wrong, I was wrong." Chen Shan twisted her shoulders, shook off my hand, and turned her head to the side, still ignoring me. I reached forward and began to rub her breasts, gently breathing into her ear and calling, "Shan Shan... Shan Shan..." Her ear tickled, and she involuntarily shrank her neck, giggling, "Itchy, itchy..." I continued to rub her breasts, and suddenly remembered touching my cousin a few days ago. My palm slid over Chen Shan's erect nipples, and what flashed through my mind was: Jia Jia, Jia Jia's nipples. At this thought, my blood rushed to my head, and almost instantly, my penis became hard again.

Under my caresses, Chen Shan's whole body began to tremble slightly again, and she slid down onto the bed. I put on the condom, parted her legs, and slowly entered her body. My lower body was gradually enveloped in soft, warm embraces until I was completely inside.

Chen Shan hugged my waist, letting out a seductive nasal sound.

The only sounds in the room were my heavy breathing and Chen Shan's intermittent moans, low and melodious, intoxicating and soul-stirring, as if suppressing pain, or perhaps calling for a climax of pleasure.

I played with her hair, gazing at her face. The light was bright, and her expression was clear. Her eyes were closed, her small mouth slightly open, and with each deep thrust, she let out a soft "hmm" from her throat, delicate yet extremely alluring, each sound teasing my nerves. Her snow-white breasts swayed incessantly with my thrusts, and I reached out and grasped them, thrusting my hips back and forth even more forcefully.

Chen Shan's breathing became more and more rapid, her mouth opened wider and wider, and she mumbled indistinctly, "Zhe... ah..." Hearing this, my heart skipped a beat. That "Zhe" was supposed to be my name, but I vaguely heard it as "brother." In an instant, my cousin's face flashed through my mind, my penis suddenly itched, and I couldn't help but

let out a soft "ah," ejaculating rapidly.

I withdrew my penis with some guilt. I'd probably made love with Chen Shan seven or eight times, and this was the fastest I'd ever ejaculated, except for the first time. Chen Shan softly sat up, looking at me, then down at my limp penis.

As it softened, it shrank, and the fluid Chen Shan had left on it solidified into thin, white strands.

I took off my condom, intending to get out of bed and throw it away.

Chen Shan said, "Leave it for now, I'll throw it away later." She took it and casually placed it on the bedside table. "Hold me," she said.

I lay down and hugged her, then reached for the blanket and covered myself with it.

Chen Shan was unhappy, I knew. I had ruined a night she had been looking forward to. She was more enthusiastic about this kind of thing than the boys, which was a major reason for her attractiveness. The first time we did it, I was a virgin, and she wasn't. I didn't care too much about that because I never thought we would have a long-term relationship.

Being with her was stress-free; it was just about having fun.

After a moment of silence, she asked, "Why did it end so quickly tonight?"

I "truthfully" said, "You were moaning so seductively."

She chuckled and playfully hit me: "Nonsense!"

I said, "It's true. Why did you call me by my name?"

She laughed: "Calling your name is so effective? Next time, if I come and you haven't ejaculated yet, I'll call your name."

I laughed: "Okay."

After a while, she tentatively asked again: "One more time?"

I said: "No, not again."

She rubbed against me, pleading: "Just one more time~" I smiled wryly: "Miss, please spare me. I have class tomorrow. How about I help you with my hand?"

She pouted: "Forget it, it's not fun." Then she got up and got dressed.

I still couldn't study tonight. When I got home, my legs were sore from climbing the stairs. Although it wasn't long-lasting tonight, the ejaculation was intense; the stimulation from that groggy "Brother" was overwhelming.

What should I do? One thing after another, it seems I have sexual fantasies about my cousin, and it's not just simple wishful thinking anymore—at the peak of my orgasm, in the instant of ejaculation, I was thinking of her!

In just a few days, my heart has been burdened with so much. Perhaps much of it is just pointless self-inflicted worry and wild fantasies. Sometimes it feels sweet, sometimes exciting, but most of the time it's just confusion and hopelessness. What about

my cousin? What is she thinking? Am I the only one whose heart is in turmoil? Is her heart at peace?

Probably not. Look at her behavior towards me, especially that day at the hospital. Her eyes, her expression, her words—everything showed that her feelings for me had changed, and were definitely not just brotherly love.

However, she would never be like me, with her mind filled with fantasies. Thinking about this, I felt increasingly pathetic and worthless. I no longer knew how to face my cousin. I couldn't pretend; I had acted inappropriately towards her, had inappropriate thoughts, and I couldn't pretend nothing had happened. If I just kept running away, I would never be able to stand honestly in front of her. I should just

go for it and confess to my cousin!

But when I woke up, the resolve I had so painstakingly made wavered again. It seems people are more impulsive at night, only returning to reality when they see the sunlight.

When I got home from school at noon, my parents were busy in the kitchen. When they saw me come back, they both turned around and called out to me, which felt a little strange. It was even stranger during lunch; they kept exchanging glances, their expressions different from usual. A little confused, I couldn't help but ask, "What are you doing?"

My mother glanced at me, then turned to look at my father, hesitant to speak. They looked at each other for a few seconds, then my father suddenly put down his chopsticks and asked me, "Son, how old are you this year?"

Seeing my father's serious expression, I couldn't help but feel a little nervous. I answered, "18? What's wrong?"

My father slowly said, "You're an adult now. I think there are some things we still need to talk to you about..." My heart skipped a beat: Did they know I had a girlfriend? Did my father secretly follow me out last night and discover I wasn't going to school, but to Chen Shan's house?

I forced myself to remain silent, waiting for them to continue.

My parents exchanged another glance, and then my father spoke again: "Son, there's something we want to tell you..." Something to tell me? My heart relaxed. It wasn't my problem anymore. What could it be?

Dad took a deep breath and said with great determination, "We want to tell you...you're not our biological son."

My head went blank, and I stared at Dad in disbelief. What did she say?!

Dad quietly nodded at me.

I turned to Mom in horror. Mom's expression was calm, much calmer than before, and she said, "But we love you just the same, and that will never change."

I felt a chill run through me, my mind went completely blank. I'm not their biological son? How could this be!

For years, I've never sensed anything suggesting I wasn't their biological son. Impossible! Just a few days ago, I was daydreaming that if I wasn't Dad's biological son, I could be with my cousin. And now, my dream has come true? This is absurd!!

Dad and Mom stared at my expression for a long time, then suddenly burst into loud laughter.

I was stunned again. What were they laughing at?

Dad laughed until tears streamed down his face and said, "It's April Fool's Day, happy holiday, son!"

I was speechless! What kind of parents are these?! They almost scared me to death!!

My heart was still pounding, but I couldn't help but burst into laughter, yelling between laughs, "How can you joke like that?!"

Dad proudly shook hands and high-fived Mom, saying, "Our acting skills are good enough for a TV show."

I stopped laughing, then a thought suddenly struck me: That's right, today is April Fool's Day! Today you can say whatever you want without taking responsibility. Why not use this day to test my cousin's reaction?

The third period in the afternoon was self-study. After the second period, I went downstairs to my cousin's classroom to find her. Standing outside the classroom waiting for her to come out, I silently rehearsed what I was going to say in my mind. When I saw my cousin come out through the window, I quickly composed myself, putting on a serious expression.

Thinking back to the scene my parents had put on at noon, it was so professional; I fell for their trick the moment I walked in.

It's rare that they have the time to do this!

My cousin didn't expect me to come to her classroom and asked, "Why are you here?" Looking back at the classmates in the corridor, she seemed a little awkward and said, "Let's talk outside." We

walked to a secluded spot and stopped. Looking at my cousin so close to me, my heart started pounding again. I cursed myself inwardly: This is Jiajia, not some stranger. Why can't I be comfortable facing her?

Remembering my resolve from last night, I gritted my teeth: I should confess to her, apologize. It's April Fool's Day, so it doesn't matter what I say.

Having made up my mind, I quickly said before I could back out: "Jiajia, I'm sorry."

My cousin paused, immediately knowing what I meant, and her face flushed red.

I continued: "That night, I helped you… wipe your sweat… I'm sorry."

My cousin whispered: "There's nothing to apologize for."

I lowered my head and said: "I did something wrong."

My cousin said: "I didn't blame you…" Hearing this, I couldn't help but feel a surge of joy: Was this a clear indication of her feelings? I almost pressed her for an answer: "Why?" But I quickly swallowed the words back.

My cousin glanced at me, then looked down again, saying: "I was afraid you'd think I… I… that wasn't right…" I hurriedly said: "Of course not, how could you?" "Of course... okay..." After a moment of silence, my heartbeat slowly calmed down. Remembering the April Fool's joke, I said, "Jiajia, there's something I want to tell you.

" My cousin seemed a little nervous and asked, "Should I say it now?"

I hadn't expected her to ask that. Did she know what I was going to say? Startled, I had to improvise, saying, "This is something I find hard to accept, and I want to talk to someone about it." Even as I said it, I felt disgusted; the line was so fake.

My cousin hesitated for a moment, then said, "Then tell me."

I took a breath and said, word by word, "I'm not my uncle and aunt's biological son."

My cousin was startled and looked up at me. I looked at her too, trying to discern her expression—was it surprise, comfort, or joy? ...She stared at me for five seconds, then suddenly smiled and said, "I know!"

I felt a wave of dejection wash over me: I failed! Still unconvinced, I asked, "Know what?"

She laughed, "April Fool's Day, huh? I've been fooled so many times today."

Sigh, it seems I'm just not cut out for acting. I can never fake it or lie, and I was exposed in five seconds. I didn't see anything on my cousin's face. After walking her back to her classroom, I turned to leave when she suddenly called out, "Brother, wait for me, just one minute."

She hurriedly ran back into the classroom, then came running back out a moment later, shoving a note into my hand. "Here," she said, "you can't look at this now, look at it when you get upstairs."

The note was folded in half. My cousin placed it in my hand, smiled at me, and then turned and went back to the classroom.

Holding the note, I went upstairs, but couldn't wait any longer and quickly unfolded it. I discovered it was actually two notes stuck together. The top one had five words written on it: "Brother, I like you." I stared at those five words, a surge of joy welling up inside me, my heart pounding wildly.

Turning to the bottom note, it also had five words: "Happy April Fool's Day." Back in the classroom, I hadn't calmed down from my racing heart. I guess my bright smile was too much, because the classmate at the next table looked at me strangely and asked, "

What's wrong?"

I turned to look at him, still unable to stop smiling, and asked, "What's wrong with me? "

He stared at me and said, "Look at you, all radiant with spring, did you pick another flower?"

I said, "No, just one girl confessed to me.

" He exclaimed in surprise, "Confessing on April Fool's Day? This girl is really clever, is she afraid of being rejected?"

I smiled and said, "I don't know, maybe."

I said that, but I didn't really think so. I believed that my cousin's second note was just a little joke. She's so smart, she couldn't possibly not have noticed the change in my feelings for her. She probably also knew that my lying to her that I wasn't my parents' biological child was some kind of hint. Her "I like you" was more of an answer than a confession.

I pictured my cousin's radiant smile when she gave me the note, a smile that was incredibly beautiful, full of confidence and happiness. A feeling of happiness welled up in my heart, rippling outwards and filling my entire being.

The person at the next table was still asking: "Who's that girl? Which class is she in? She's not a freshman or sophomore,

is she?" I laughed and said, "Anyway, she's pretty.

" The person at the next table said indignantly, "She's a freshman, right? She's a freshman , isn't she? You

're so shameless!" I thought he was right, nodded, and said, "Yes, I am shameless."

The person at the next table said again, "Don't you have Chen Shan? Give her to me, okay?"

I laughed and said, "If you want her, go get her yourself."

That night before bed, I took out that note and stared at it blankly until I could barely recognize the words, before reluctantly putting it away. First, I put it in the drawer, but then I thought it wasn't safe. Those two pieces of paper were so light, they could easily be blown away by the wind. It would be safer to put them in a book. Actually, there's never any wind in my room all year round, but I still felt uneasy. There were several books on the bedside table. I picked out the one with the best texture, turned to page 217 (my cousin's birthday), tucked the two notes inside, and locked it in the drawer.

I sat on the bed for a while, thinking of my cousin's smiling face, imagining her saying "Brother, I like you" to me. My heart fluttered, and I couldn't help but take out the book again. I did this several times, feeling incredibly silly. Even back in my first love days, I never did anything so pointless.

That night, I tossed and turned until dawn before finally falling asleep.

Wednesday was another sunny day. After a period of being upset, I finally got back into study mode. This morning, I was incredibly motivated and finished four practice tests in one go. After I finished them, I even doubted whether I had just written them randomly. By the time

I finished the last test, it had been about half an hour since school let out. I went downstairs and took a detour to my cousin's classroom. Actually, I didn't expect her to still be at school at this time; it was just a pointless act. I walked over, glanced inside, and saw that my cousin was still in the classroom. She was sitting in her seat, one hand supporting her chin, seemingly writing something. There were only a few people left in the classroom. I tiptoed in, and when I was a few desks away from my cousin's seat, she suddenly seemed to sense my presence, turned around, and saw me. She quickly closed what she was writing and stuffed it into her drawer. "

Brother!" She looked around and asked, "What are you doing here?"

I sat down next to her and said, "I got so engrossed in doing some problems. I just finished and was on my way home, so I stopped by..." I felt a little embarrassed after saying "on my way," since my cousin knew where our classroom was.

So, before she could speak, I asked, "What about you? Why aren't you home yet? What are you writing?"

My cousin's eyes darted around a little, and she said, "Nothing, just writing something... Are you going home now? Let's go home together then."

It had been a long time since I'd walked home from school with my cousin. I couldn't remember it since I started dating Chen Shan. Time seemed to rewind to a year or two ago, back to when my cousin was a freshman in high school, when she would wait for me almost every day after school to walk home together.

After leaving the school gate and walking towards the bus stop, I suddenly thought, "Why don't we just walk back? It's not far, only two stops." So I turned to talk to my cousin, but as soon as I turned, I was face to face with her, and we both jumped in surprise. I said, "What do you want to say?" My cousin said, "What do you want to say? You go first." I said, "I'll let you go first." My

cousin said, "I just think the bus is so crowded, maybe we should walk back." My heart skipped a beat, and I blurted out, "That's what I was thinking too!" My cousin smiled and said, "Then let's walk, we can chat as we walk." It was a lot of fun; it seemed there was no longer any awkwardness between my cousin and me.

As we chatted, we started talking about one of my cousin's classmates. My cousin asked me, "Do you remember Luo Jingjing?"

I said, "I don't remember, all your classmates have similar names."

She laughed, "Nonsense, her name is so beautiful. You've seen her so many times, she came to my birthday party, the tall one."

I thought for a moment, and vaguely remembered her, saying, "I think I remember, what about her?"

My cousin said, "She broke up with her boyfriend."

Even though she doesn't have a boyfriend herself, she always seems quite interested in other people's affairs. Seeing she was about to gossip again, I chimed in, "Why? Who dumped whom?"

My cousin said, "She dumped him." Then she winked and laughed, "Guess why?"

I said, "Because her boyfriend had body odor?"

My cousin laughed, "Can you be serious?!"

I said, "I don't know. Women's thinking is the most unpredictable. Maybe she just suddenly didn't like him, or she fell for someone else..." My cousin said, "That's right, she fell for someone else! Guess who?"

I smiled helplessly, "How am I supposed to guess? There are so many people.

" My cousin said, "Just guess randomly."

I said, "Could it be me?"

My cousin looked at me in surprise and said, "You're right! You guessed it on the first try.

" I was just saying it casually, but it turned out to be true. Luo Jingjing? Although I vaguely remembered her, I don't think I've even spoken to her. How could she like me? While I'm not exactly bad-looking, I wouldn't call myself handsome either. And the key question is, how could my cousin say it so casually? I couldn't help feeling a little defeated: her classmates like me, doesn't she feel unhappy? If it were me, and a classmate asked me to introduce my cousin to them, I'd usually shut them down without hesitation. Maybe my cousin thinks I wouldn't like Luo Jingjing, so she doesn't care?

I said, "Then how did you tell her? Didn't you tell her I have a girlfriend?"

My cousin said, "She knows, but she thinks Chen Shan isn't a good person, and she even said she'd steal you away from her."

I found it a bit funny and wanted to say, "Luo Jingjing is really confident, daring to challenge Chen Shan." But then I thought that would be too narcissistic, so I stopped myself.

My cousin glanced at me and said, "Brother, I actually wanted to ask you too, but I was afraid you'd be angry… Did I ask?"

I laughed and said, "What is it? Why are you making it sound so serious? Go ahead and ask."

My cousin said, "How did you end up dating Chen Shan?"

I chuckled inwardly: Ha, finally jealous. I casually said, "It's nothing, we just got to know each other and started dating.

We both seem to like each other." My cousin seemed a little unhappy, saying, "We all feel sorry for you."

I laughed and asked, "You guys? You and who?"

My cousin said, "It's me and my classmates, Luo Jingjing, Xu Lin, and others you might not know.

" I asked with a smile, "What did they say? What's wrong with Chen Shan?"

My cousin said, "It's not just them saying that, everyone says it… saying Chen Shan…" My cousin hesitated, seemingly considering the most appropriate word, and finally said, "Anyway, she's just a bit bad."

I laughed, "You're talking badly about her behind her back."

My cousin blushed and protested, "I wouldn't say that about anyone else, but she's your girlfriend, and I'm only doing this for you…" She suddenly paused, her face turning even redder.

I felt a sweet warmth in my heart. I don't know why, but hearing my cousin say things like this, especially after yesterday, gave me a strange feeling of excitement.

I said, "Actually, Chen Shan isn't a bad person. She's just... a bit casual."

My cousin said, "But she's so casual..." I was a little curious and asked, "Oh? Why do you say that? What did you hear?"

My cousin looked a little awkward, hesitated for a while, and then said, "I heard she's not... not... a virgin anymore..." Looking at my cousin, I couldn't help but laugh and said, "That's nothing. It's not just her. Many girls in our school aren't, even in your grade."

My cousin seemed a little anxious and said, "What do you mean 'not anything'?!" As she spoke, she suddenly opened her eyes wide and looked at me: "Brother, you didn't... you know... with her, did you?"

I felt a chill run down my spine under my cousin's gaze and blurted out, "Of course not!"

My cousin looked at me and said, "Really not? If you're that casual too, I'll... I'll never talk to you again..." Actually, I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. How could I lie about something like this? Hearing my cousin say that, I didn't even have the courage to explain anymore... What should I do? Keep it a secret?

Feeling anxious and uneasy, I wanted to say something to calm myself down, so I said, "But I'm already over 18, so legally I can do whatever I want..." My cousin quickly interrupted me, saying, "No!"

I said, "Then when can I?"

My cousin paused, unsure how to answer. After a long while, she said, "Then...you can't be with her..." I looked at her and asked with a smile, "Then who should you be with?"

My cousin turned her head, and our eyes met. We both flinched. I suddenly realized my question was too ambiguous, and my face flushed. I tried to explain, but found that explaining would only make things worse.

My cousin's face also turned red, and she lowered her head, remaining silent.

After walking a while longer, I broke the silence and said, "Where were we...By the way, what about your classmate Luo Jingjing?"

My cousin asked, "What do you mean, what about her?"

I said, "Is she really planning to pursue me?"

My cousin said, "I don't know, hmph...you can't bear to part with your Chen Shan..." I felt a surge of joy; she was indeed jealous. I said, "It's not that I can't bear to part with her, but I can't break up with her for no reason.

" My cousin pouted and didn't speak.

I smiled and said, "Are you unhappy?"

My cousin said, "Yes."

I smiled and said, "Okay, if you want me to break up with her, then I will."

My cousin said, "I didn't ask you to. You can break up if you want, or not if you don't..." Though she said that, her tone had softened.

I secretly glanced at her; her slightly annoyed expression was also captivating. Her lips were slightly pouting, making her look a little mischievous and cute. Seeing this, my heart raced, and I suddenly felt an urge to confess.

Seeing that I didn't speak, my cousin said, "See, you just can't bear to let go..." I said, "Even if I break up with Chen Shan, I can't date your classmate." My

cousin asked, "Why?"

I could hear my heart pounding. I said, "Because I already have someone I like."

My cousin was taken aback and asked, "Who?"

After asking, she suddenly realized what I meant, quickly turning her head away and staring straight at the road.

I said, "You know, she..." My cousin interrupted me, "Don't say it, brother, don't say it yet..." I looked at my cousin and said, "I have to say it. Today isn't April Fool's Day, I still have to say it."

My cousin whispered, "But I already know... I already know, so you don't need to say anything..." I was stunned, speechless for a moment. Her words made perfect sense, and I couldn't refute them. Yes, wasn't my confession precisely to tell her, to let her know? But she said she already knew, so what reason did I have to say it? Even knowing this, I felt an emptiness inside, as if something that had been filled had suddenly been emptied.

I walked absentmindedly, when suddenly, my right hand felt warm, a soft, smooth sensation in my palm. My entire arm stiffened, and my steps slowed—my cousin had taken my hand!

Then I heard her say, "Brother, I'm so happy..." For two days in a row, I was immersed in a warm, blissful state, a smile on my face all day long, even my steps felt light.

The thin veil between my cousin and me, even if it hadn't been truly pierced, was already transparently thin.

Why wouldn't she let me say those words clearly? Why did she add "Happy April Fool's Day" to the note she gave me?

Yes, why? Every time I think about this, a voice echoes in my heart: You and she, you are, after all, blood-related siblings… But this voice usually only flashes by, then is swallowed up by a sea of happiness.

Tomorrow is Qingming Festival. This year is the first time we have a long Qingming holiday, even high school seniors get three days off. In the evening, my aunt and cousin came over for dinner. My uncle is still out of town, so he won't be coming back with us to sweep the tombs this year. Speaking of this, my aunt was unhappy all evening. Usually, we come back to our house to sweep the tombs on the first weekend of Qingming, and then my uncle's family sweeps the tombs on the second weekend. My aunt said to my cousin: "Jiajia, when he comes back next week, we won't go back with him to sweep the tombs."

My cousin laughed: "No way, Grandpa and Grandma will scold me."

After dinner, the adults watched TV, and my cousin and I went back to our room to watch Detective Conan. We watched until very late, past eleven, when my aunt came in to call my cousin home. We went out into the lobby, and my cousin suddenly glanced at me and said to my aunt, "Mom, I don't want to go home tonight..." I was secretly delighted: My cousin was going to sleep here tonight?

My aunt frowned and said, "What? Still want to watch cartoons? You're so old, why are you still watching that?"

My cousin said, "Please, it's okay, I'm going back in Uncle's car tomorrow anyway.

" My aunt said, "So you're not going to shower tonight? You don't even have pajamas."

My dad said from the side, "If Jiajia wants to, let her sleep here tonight, it's been so long since she slept here." My mom also said, "Jiajia still has clothes here, I just don't know if they'll still fit..." Although my aunt is quite domineering, she always seems to have no choice when my cousin is stubborn, saying, "Whatever, just don't stay out too late." After

seeing my aunt out, my cousin and I went back into the room, and we smiled at each other.

We watched until after midnight, but I still wasn't sleepy at all.

My mom came in and asked me, "Aren't you going to shower tonight either? If you're not going to shower, go to sleep quickly, we have to get up early tomorrow." Then I called to my cousin, "Jiajia, come over and see if you can wear my pajamas."

My cousin quickly waved her hand, "No need, Auntie, I'll just take off my coat and sleep."

My mother nodded, "Then I'll go make your bed. Once it's made, go to sleep, don't look anymore."

My cousin slept in the guest room next door. Although we weren't sleeping together, I was still very happy because I knew we were very close, separated only by two walls and two doors... Tomorrow when I woke up, I could see her immediately... This feeling was wonderful.

I felt great, my mind was very clear, and I didn't realize that this was another sleepless night. It wasn't until I picked up the alarm clock and looked at it by the moonlight that I was startled: without realizing it, it was already 2:30!

I sat up, the cool air seeping into my skin, and I couldn't help but shiver. Suddenly, I heard a noise outside the door. I thought I had misheard, but upon closer listening, there really was a sound. I opened the door and saw that the hallway light was on, and my cousin's door was ajar. My heart skipped a beat: was she awake too?

After waiting a while, sure enough, my cousin returned. My face flushed when I saw her: she was only wearing a coat, no pants, and her long, bare legs were almost entirely exposed. Her feet were also bare, wearing only slippers.

My cousin suddenly looked up and saw me, letting out a scream. I suddenly realized how indecent it was to be peeping at her with the door half open, so I quickly opened the door, smiled awkwardly, and asked, "You weren't asleep either?"

My cousin stood there awkwardly, pulling down the hem of her coat, and said, "I couldn't sleep, so I got up to use the bathroom..." I said, "Then come in quickly, your fever has just subsided, don't catch a cold again." My

cousin hummed in agreement and hurried towards her room. She was walking too fast, slipped, and one of her slippers flew sideways. She blushed even more, tiptoed a couple of steps, and reached for her shoe. My gaze involuntarily followed her slender legs; in the pale yellow light of the corridor, their rounded curves were dazzlingly beautiful.

I was momentarily mesmerized, a strange, whimsical thought rising within me.

Seeing my cousin about to go back to her room, I instinctively called out to her, "Jiajia!"

My cousin turned around and replied, "Huh?"

I called her back, but didn't know what to say. After a moment of hesitation, I said, "Why don't you sleep in my room?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I almost slapped myself. What was I saying? Without thinking, those words just popped out of my head!

My cousin was stunned. For a second or two, time seemed to stand still. What should I say? I had to explain something… Like a panicked drowning person, I desperately grasped at every fleeting thought in my mind, finally managing to say, “My bed might be more comfortable. If you can’t sleep over there…” My cousin asked hesitantly, “What about you?”

I stammered, “I… I’ll switch with you. I’ll sleep in the guest room.”

My cousin glanced at me and said, “Okay then…” My cousin and I went into my room. I reached for the light switch, but my cousin quickly stopped me, saying, “Let’s not turn it on.” In

the clear moonlight, my cousin looked almost unreal. I watched her sit on the bed, her figure partially obscured by her clothes, and my heart skipped a beat. She pulled the covers up, then took off her coat, revealing a thin shirt underneath, through which I could vaguely see two protrusions on her breasts—she wasn’t wearing a bra. I turned my head to one side, swallowed hard, and a filthy desire burned within me.

I couldn't stay here any longer; I was afraid I might do something wicked. I took a deep breath and said, "Jiajia, I'm coming over... If you still can't sleep, come wake me."

My cousin pulled the blanket over her shoulders, leaving only her head sticking out, and winked at me, saying, "Brother, can you wait until I'm asleep before you come over?"

A beautiful moment, this must be what they mean by "a perfect time..." My cousin's voice was so pure; if Chen Shan had said those words, it would have been a completely different feeling. But my heart was still pounding, a mixture of anticipation and fear.

I looked down at my cousin, her innocent face, her clear eyes, so pure and untainted. Would she know what I was thinking? I gave myself one last warning, lest I do anything inappropriate, then sat down on the edge of the bed and said, "Okay, I'll watch you sleep."

My cousin winked and smiled mischievously at me. I found my cousin beautiful no matter what expression she had—happy, angry, shy, or coquettish… I couldn't help but reach out and brush the hair from her cheek, gazing intently at her face.

I knew this gesture was intimate, but I didn't want to hide it anymore. Even if I had to, it wouldn't be tonight.

My cousin quietly watched me too. The room was quiet, the only sound our breathing.

After a long period of eye contact, my cousin became embarrassed first, looked away, and then couldn't help but chuckle.

Her laughter made me a little embarrassed as well, realizing I'd been a bit silly. So I laughed back, saying, "I won, you lost."

When we were little, we often played a silly game when we had nothing to do: staring at each other and seeing who blinked first, who looked away first, or who laughed first—that was the loser.

My cousin said, "You won, so what's there to be so smug about?" She then stretched her arms out from under the covers: "It's so hot…" I laughed, "Of course you're hot, your heart's beating fast!"

My cousin nudged me with her knee under the covers: "What nonsense are you talking about..." I pressed the back of my hand to her face and said, "Don't try to deny it, look at your face, it's so hot..." My cousin grabbed my hand and then used her other hand to tickle me, which I also grabbed. We pushed and shoved each other a few times, and suddenly my cousin's hand went limp, and she cried out, "Ouch!

" I quickly let go and shushed her: "Keep it down..." My cousin also covered her mouth with her hand, and after a while, she slowly let go and whispered, "I forgot... Will Aunt and the others wake up?"

I was a little nervous too. What would Mom think if she woke up and saw us fooling around in bed in the middle of the night? Luckily, after waiting for a while, I didn't hear any noise outside. I laughed and asked my cousin, "What do you think they'd think we were doing if they heard you cry out in pain?" My

cousin shook her head: "I don't know, what were we doing?" After a couple of seconds, she suddenly realized what I meant and reached out to hit me: "

You—you're bad!"

I let her hit me a couple of times and laughed: "Stop fooling around, let's go to sleep."

My cousin said: "I can't sleep right now."

I said, "You have to sleep even if you can't. What am I supposed to do if you don't sleep? How about I sing you to sleep?"

My cousin said, "How about I tell you a story? Your singing is so awful..." Speaking of stories, I really didn't have anything to tell, so I just told her some interesting things that had happened in class these past few days, and she occasionally chimed in. We chatted and laughed for who knows how long. I stretched and yawned, and as I moved, I suddenly felt a chill all over my body. I couldn't help but shiver, and then my nose itched, and I sneezed.

My cousin exclaimed, "Ah! You have a cold?" As she spoke, she moved closer to me and said, "Do you want to come in and cover yourself with a blanket?"

I was only wearing a thin shirt and pants, and I'd been sitting outside for so long; it would be strange if I wasn't cold. I hesitated for a moment, looking at my cousin's completely unguarded attitude, and cursed inwardly.

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Today I touched my cousin's breasts.

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