【Huihui】(19-21) Author: pobird

Author: pobird
Word Count: 16390

(19)

In the blink of an eye, I had been staying with Xing Lu for two months. Just when I was hesitating about whether to really leave,
the head of the teaching department of the experimental school called me and asked me to report early to listen to other teachers' lectures and observe and learn.
I would teach the first-year high school classes for the last week.

It seems that fate has brought us together, and it's time to say goodbye to Xing Lu. At noon, I called Xing Lu and asked if he could
come back to have dinner with me that evening. Xing Lu said yes.

I carefully prepared a few dishes that Xing Lu likes and stewed a pot of scallop and ginkgo porridge, waiting for Xing Lu
to come back.

Xing Lu probably already expected it. He wasn't surprised at all when he saw the sumptuous dishes on the table.
He just smiled at me slightly, which seemed a little unnatural. I said softly, "Let's eat first."

After dinner, Xing Lu took the initiative to take the dishes to the kitchen to wash them. I sat on the sofa in the living room and waited quietly for him to come back.

Xing Lu came back, sat down beside me, and gently pulled me into his arms. "Huihui, there's something I want to
discuss with you first."

I asked, "What is it?" Xing Lu actually had something to discuss with me?

Xing Lu said, "Company H wants me to work there in sales, but not as a manager, just a regular salesperson."

Ah, that sentence contained so much information. I quickly understood what Xing Lu meant. He wanted to stay for me;
because of me, he didn't want to go to Beijing anymore. He was actually willing to give up his development at the China headquarters and his current
department manager position for me. I was suddenly filled with emotion.

However, being moved couldn't change my carefully considered decision. I gently shook my head: "Xing Lu, it's no use.
The biggest obstacle between us isn't the distance, but your sales job."

"Xing Lu, if you could quit sales, I'd go to Beijing with you, go back to your hometown in Sichuan with you, what's
wrong with that ?"

I handed Xing Lu my first-year high school Chinese textbook from my desk: "Just pick a passage and read a couple of sentences."

Xing Lu looked suspicious but didn't refuse. He randomly flipped to a page, read a couple of sentences, and I immediately followed,
fluently reciting the entire passage.

Xing Lu praised me: "You actually memorized the whole book, that's amazing!" Then he immediately realized:
"Huihui, I'm so sorry, I've really let you down these past few days."

I shook my head. "There's no regret. You've taken such good care of me. I just could
n't your lifestyle. Drinking, vomiting, going to prostitutes—I didn't want that, but I love you, so
I could accept it in the end. What I really couldn't accept was not seeing you for whole days, having nothing
to do, and then feeling even more anxious than you when you were anxious. I know you're ruining your health, but
I'm powerless to stop it. These last two weeks have been agonizing. Besides, I can still memorize texts and
prepare lesson plans. If I really became a full-time housewife, I'd be idle and filled with anxiety." " I'm afraid this life will really drive
me crazy."

I continued sadly, "I want to come to Guangzhou to work, but my abilities and personality aren't good enough.
I can't establish myself in a big city at all, and there's no place for you in a small city."

Xing Lu looked at me quietly, and after a long while said, "Huihui, you can teach at the experimental school. I'll stay in
Guangzhou come to see you every weekend."

I shook my head, "Xing Lu, I've thought about that too. I know there are many weekend couples, but weekend couples
need two people to love each other wholeheartedly like my sister and brother-in-law to maintain it. Xing Lu, you don't love me. You just like
the life you have with me. People like us can't be weekend couples. We can't stick to it."

Xing Lu remained silent.

Tears silently streamed down my face. "I'm sorry, Xing Lu. These past two months have made me realize that I
don't love you as much as I thought I would. I can't fully accept you and your life. I want to try
what it's like to work and live without you. Just like I really want to try what it's like to be your girlfriend
. I want to try."

Xing Lu reached out and hugged me, gently stroking my head, and said, "Okay."

"However, these two months living with you have at least been very rewarding." I remembered something,
and suddenly burst into laughter through my tears, looking up at him.

Xing Lu looked at me with a puzzled expression. I smiled and said, "In two months, we've unlocked more than 20 positions, basically
the maximum we can do. Even if we break up now, I won't have any regrets."

Xing Lu looked at me with a dark expression.

I held his hand: "I found another one today. It looks a bit difficult, but you're strong and I'm
so light, I think we should be able to do it."

Xing Lu smiled wryly: "You can only try one, and then do it properly, okay?"

I nodded and thought, if I do this position too, I've done everything I can,
at least in terms of sex, I won't have any regrets.

Xing Lu is lazy and never likes to try new things. He only picks the easiest ones. Almost every time it's either
missionary, doggy style, or cowgirl, he only wants these four. So
the other 20-plus positions I unlocked were almost all tried only once, and I called it to satisfy my collecting
hobby.

Like today, it was supposed to be very exciting. I knelt by the bed, Xing Lu stood under the bed and entered me from behind,
and then I wrapped my legs around his thighs. He pulled my arms and lifted me off the bed, and I was
hanging on him. Then he used his core strength to thrust in and out repeatedly in place. I felt very comfortable, but Xing Lu
felt very tired.

After only twenty or thirty thrusts, Xing Lu put me back on the bed and continued with the rear-entry position. Well, this was
indeed much faster than the previous thrusting, but the previous one was also very interesting.
I reached my climax quickly, and Xing Lu patiently waited until I climaxed before ejaculating. This time he didn't use a condom, and it seemed like he ejaculated
quite a lot. I cleaned myself up for a long time, but it was still flowing, and I was covered in sweat. I simply took a shower and then
came back to lie down next to Xing Lu.

Xing Lu was probably waiting to scold me. Sure enough, as soon as I lay down, he said, "Huihui, the new
positions seem to be getting harder and harder. They test both strength and endurance."

"Okay, I admit my mistake. I just found them novel and wanted to try everything. These are all just
flashy to look at, not practical at all. I promise you, this is the last new position."

Xing Lu sighed with relief, and I continued, "When you want to again, just use the positions we've tried."
"Just choose." I chuckled, quite satisfied with Xing Lu's troubled expression.

But perhaps there wouldn't be another chance to try it, I sighed inwardly. Then I grinned at Xing Lu
and said, "I'm going back to Huizhou tomorrow, so you can use whatever position you want later." "

Later? You want more?"

"Of course," I said matter-of-factly, "I'm going back tomorrow, so you're not letting me have my fill today
."

Then, the second time, this bad guy only wanted the woman-on-top position from beginning to end! When I climaxed,
panting heavily, and my waist was completely exhausted, Xing Lu wouldn't let me get off. He just held my
buttocks , telling me not to move, and then he thrust rapidly from below, quickly bringing me to a second
climax.

This time, Xing Lu lasted exceptionally long, not ejaculating at all. I finally couldn't take it anymore, got up, left,
took off his condom and threw it away, then gave him oral sex. When he ejaculated, I held it in my mouth, lingering for a long time before
swallowing . This might be the last time with Xing Lu; I wanted to remember his taste.

But this wasn't the last time with Xing Lu; we did it many more times afterward…

The next day, Xing Lu insisted on taking me to Huizhou, then stayed in my room with a grin, pretending not to leave,
and then had sex with me twice more that night.

On the third day, he still hadn't left, and this time I was the one who had sex with him twice, making me wonder if I was being too
indulgent.

On the morning of the fourth day, he drove back to Guangzhou, and before leaving, he had sex with me one more time. Okay, I see now;
he really couldn't bear to part with me.

As Xing Lu was leaving, I grabbed his hand and quietly said, "If you insist on
not taking the money I spent on connections at the school, then I won't pay it back."

Xing Lu smiled and patted my head, "How could I possibly take your money?"

I pushed his hand away and continued earnestly, "I won't pay you back the money, but I'll keep a promise.

Xing Lu, before you leave Guangzhou, no matter when you're tired, weary, sick, or have failed,
as long as you're willing to come to Huizhou, I, Zhan Huihui, swear to God I'll take care of you for the rest of my life."

Xing Lu burst into laughter, then immediately realized I wasn't joking, and hugged me tightly
, reluctant to let go.

I nestled my head in Xing Lu's arms, savoring the last warmth.

Xing Lu, perhaps trying to ease the tense atmosphere, smiled and said, "Huihui, if I don't go to Beijing
and stay in Guangzhou, wouldn't you be missing out?"

I softly replied, "So what? I just can't accept your sales job, I didn't say I couldn't
accept someone waiting for you."

Xing Lu kissed my lips deeply, sucking on my tongue with unspoken tenderness.

Xing Lu left, and I, exhausted, began preparing for next week's lessons. Although I was only auditing at first, I still
wanted to prepare properly. But I really couldn't study. I had indulged too much; my whole body ached, my bones felt like they were about to
fall apart, and even the slightest scratch or bite on my breasts hurt.

I looked in the mirror and was shocked by what I saw. I took off all my clothes and examined myself
closely. My God, I had been too indulgent these past few days. So many bruises on my body—shoulders, back, buttocks,
thighs, everywhere. There were even fresh teeth marks on my breasts, red and blue, along with the fading pale yellow from before
. My whole body was so mottled.

I stared blankly for a few minutes, then called Wenwen: "Wenwen, is Shi Ge's DSLR still with you?"

"Yes, what's up?"

"Wait for me, I'll come over and take some pictures."

Then, I rushed to Wenwen's place and asked her to take a few more nude pictures of me, with good lighting,
close up. When Wenwen saw me naked, she was shocked: "Xing Lu bullied you?"

Before I could answer, Wenwen immediately denied what she had just said: "No, this isn't from being hit, this
is from being bitten, this is from being kissed, these are from being pinched, Huihui, you two are too crazy!"

I was a little annoyed: "Xing Lu didn't use much force, it's just that my skin is probably more sensitive, it turns red easily when rubbed."

Then, Wenwen suddenly pinched my chest hard, I yelled and slapped her hand away, Wenwen pointed to
the spot where she pinched and said: "Look, I pinched so hard and I didn't even get that kind of mark, and you still say Xing Lu didn't use much force?"

Okay, I've been exposed. "Okay," I said to Wenwen, a little embarrassed, "Sometimes,
when we're being really intense, I want Xinglu to hurt me. I think that makes the pleasure even stronger."

Wenwen shook her head. "I'm not going to talk about this anymore. I used to be afraid I'd lead you astray, but now I'm afraid you
'll lead me astray. We've been trying this for half a year, and I still haven't had a single squirt. Now you're doing
this . I'm definitely not following your example."

I laughed and said to Wenwen, "I've done it about ten times..."

Wenwen angrily slapped my butt. I cried out, and Wenwen saw me tremble. She knew
it really hurt and was a little surprised. "You guys even do that?"

"It's just a few slaps on the butt. What's the big deal? I slapped him too." I thought to myself,
but unfortunately he's so thick-skinned that he didn't react at all.

I chuckled and said to Wenwen, "Let me tell you a secret: after spanking my butt until it's red, then do it from behind.
Every time it slaps my butt, it hurts, but it feels much more stimulating, and the orgasm comes super fast."

Wenwen covered her ears, "I don't want to hear it anymore, I don't want to hear it anymore, don't corrupt me."

I chuckled and took Wenwen's hand, "I'm not kidding anymore, take my pictures."

Wenwen had already equipped her DSLR with an external flash, and this time she took a lot of pictures of me, and the quality was indeed
much better than last time. Wenwen watched as I copied all the photos to a USB drive, and then used a file shredder to completely delete
the photos from the computer and the memory card. A little confused, Wenwen asked, "Huihui, why did you take this picture?"

I smiled and said, "This is what we looked like when we were at our most intimate. I kept it as a memento, to look at myself."

Wenwen looked shocked. "What happened between you and Xinglu?"

I said calmly, "Nothing, we just broke up temporarily. Don't worry, it was my idea to break up."

"Ah, why? Does he have another woman?" Sigh, Wenwen, can't you think of other reasons?

I shook my head. "Living with Xinglu was difficult. I temporarily withdrew. Those salespeople
are really just glamorous on the outside."

I quietly told Wenwen about what had happened during the two months I had lived with Xinglu. After I finished, I suddenly realized...
Wenwen cried; I didn't even realize when the tears started flowing. Suddenly, I understood how stupid I'd been.

Yes, Shi Chu had done the same things as Xing Lu, but he worked in the system and probably had even more social obligations. Besides, I
was speaking from the perspective of Xing Lu's live-in girlfriend, while Wenwen was in a very unsavory position.

I went over and hugged Wenwen, gently comforting her. Wenwen cried, "I've saved a lot of money; I can
leave and live my own life, but I just can't leave him."

Poor Wenwen, I held her silently for a while, then quietly said, "We're only
breaking up temporarily. Xing Lu doesn't want to break up, but I want to try and see if I can live well without him. If I
can't , I'll go back to him."

Wenwen finally stopped crying and said very seriously, "If I were you, I might want to try too, but
I don't have your abilities. I can only live dependent on a man, but I support you in doing this."

I nodded. Wenwen really is a good friend.

However, my relationship with Xing Lu wasn't as easily severed as I had imagined.

Two weeks later, the school assigned me a faculty dormitory. Xing Lu came over under the pretense of helping me move my things, and
slept at my place for two days, taking my things five times. What's infuriating is that when it came time to actually move the things, he said he had
overexerted and twisted his back. Then he called Huang Wei, who was in Huizhou meeting clients. It was Huang Wei who carried
a lot of my things down from the fourth floor and up to the third floor of the dormitory building, trip after trip.

When we ate together after the move, Huang Wei lamented, "Brother, I'm really unlucky. My back
hurts too. My back hurts because I worked so hard for my wife, and yours hurts because you worked so hard for your wife too. But look at
what kind of work I did, and what kind of work you did, brother!"

I blushed a little and looked at Xing Lu, not daring to say anything. I thought to myself, "Who told you to exert yourself so much last night,
like ? My back hurts too."

Xing Lu shook his head and said to me, "Do you know why his name is Huang Wei?"

I was puzzled, "Isn't it his real name?"

Xing Lu laughed and said, "His English name is William, and he always says he'll call me Xiao Wei. He tells
dirty , so everyone in the company calls him Huang Wei."

I laughed, and Xing Lu laughed too, and Huang Wei laughed too. From then on, I always called him Huang Wei.

After that, Xing Lu never came over again. I graduated, and the school was on summer vacation. I endured for a long time,
but finally couldn't resist and went to Xing Lu's place for another two weeks, making love to him many times. Moreover, I didn't keep my
promise and discovered two new positions.

However, we had to part ways eventually. Xing Lu took me back to school, and I said to Xing Lu, "After school starts, don't
come looking for me anymore. I want to truly experience life without you."

Xing Lu nodded and agreed.

I remembered that promise: "Of course, if you quit your job and come over, you can come anytime. That
promise will always stand."

Xing Lu patted my head and smiled, saying, "I know, you're a woman of your word, Ms. Zhan."

These were the words Xing Lu said when we parted after our first meeting. Now, the scene was repeated, and we couldn't help but
laugh.

What I didn't expect was that I adapted to my new life so quickly. At first, the pressure was immense. I prepared lessons until very late
every day , and I was so exhausted that I didn't have the energy to think about him. But after all, it was only the first year of high school, which was relatively easier. Plus, with
my previous experience as a tutor, I adapted after a little over a month. My classes were very popular with the students,
which was quite an achievement for a new teacher.

I started to have my own time. I read, taught, and painted, and life was really peaceful. My roommate
moved in with her boyfriend, and I was the only one living in the room. I even used a month's salary to buy an oven
to bake in the dorm.

Huang Wei treated me to meals twice, both at my favorite places, especially
when the crab roe was at its fattest. Huang Wei ordered a huge bowl for me. I realized Xing Lu knew my salary was low and I couldn't afford to eat, so he had Huang Wei
treat me to a meal.

I've never masturbated, not even once. Touching those areas reminds me of him, and then I feel uncomfortable.

I started running every night so that when I was exhausted and ready to sleep, I wouldn't have any desire.

Wenwen saw my improving health and was envious. She started asking me to run with her, but she
only ran twice before giving up. Her breasts were too big, and they bounced around a lot while running. After half a lap, she was in a lot of pain. That's when I
understood why Susu was so afraid of long-distance running. Later, Wenwen got pregnant and stopped running with me even more.

My life became quieter and healthier. Wenwen was envious, saying I
looked . Yes, my life is very quiet now. My cooking is excellent, my drawing skills
are improving, and my baking skills are catching up to Wenwen's—well, I'm still far behind in that last one. But I really
enjoy my life now.

There were no banquets, no karaoke bars, no waiting for someone late at night, no taking care of a drunkard
, no heartache over someone.

During the two months I lived with Xing Lu, I was often depressed and anxious, but living alone like this,
my heart remained at peace.

However, sometimes, thinking of him at night, I would still cry.

Then, at the end of 2005, Xing Lu told me that the South China branch and headquarters had negotiated a deal to keep him for another year; he
would continue to stay in Guangzhou in 2006. I said okay, then I'll wait for you for another year.

Yes, he didn't leave. I was mentally prepared for him to leave soon, but he didn't.
There was still a year left. What should I do? My heart was a little troubled. Should I go and stay with him for a few days during the winter break?

In the end, I didn't go, but I didn't go home immediately either. I thought if he came to Huizhou, I would go to his
hotel and spend a few nights with him. But he didn't come, and I ultimately didn't go.

Perhaps I've gotten through the toughest period of my emotional journey, because I'm becoming increasingly free in life without Xing Lu.
Xing Lu sent me a new iPod, which I really like. I made some new flavored cookies and sent them to him, and Xing Lu said
they were delicious.

We still chat frequently on QQ; whenever I encounter a problem, he's always the first person I ask for advice. He also tells me about interesting people or things he
encounters . Before each update of my serialized novel on Jinjiang Literature City, I
send it to him first. Sometimes Xing Lu gives me feedback, and sometimes we brainstorm the next plot development together.

However, I've never told him I miss him, and he's never said he misses me.

Then, in December 2006, Xing Lu told me that with Wei Ge's help, he had secured a nearly 30 million
yuan deal, finally defeating Xie Yu before leaving.

Xing Lu was then transferred back to Beijing. He said goodbye to me on QQ. I didn't see him off, and surprisingly, I didn't cry. I
just calmly told him, "Since you're leaving, I need to find a boyfriend. But until I find one,
my promise still stands."

Xing Lu instructed me that after he left, for small matters, contact Huang Wei; for big matters, contact Wei Ge. He said that
he had helped Wei Ge secure the Guangzhou University Town project, and Wei Ge would earn at least several million yuan. I said okay, but in my heart, I thought, "My
life ; how could I possibly have so many problems?"

After Xing Lu left, my brother-in-law called me: "Huihui, Xing Lu was still thinking about you when he left.
Do you want to go to Beijing to find him? If you do, I'll buy a BMW tomorrow and drive you there myself. Once you get to
Beijing the car will be your dowry."

Just as I was wondering what to do, I heard my sister scolding me on the other end of the line. I picked up the phone: "
Huihui , your brother-in-law is drunk. Don't listen to his nonsense. But Xing Lu does have
feelings for you. After you returned to Huizhou, we found him two other people, but neither worked out. We even asked him to come find you, but he refused, saying he wasn't good enough for you.

Yesterday, Xing Lu drank a bit..." " He kept talking about you, worried that he was too far away and you wouldn't be able to live well on your own."

I felt a little sad, and tears finally streamed down my face as I began to sob. My sister continued, "Huihui,
I know about you and Xinglu. Xinglu is just like your brother-in-law; he's a chauvinist at heart and would never let
you support him. You two aren't a good match, and I won't try to persuade you. I'm just calling to tell you that Xinglu has
entrusted to us, so if you encounter any difficulties, be sure to call me.
Don't be embarrassed to contact us just because you and Xinglu didn't end up together. Remember that?"

I nodded, tears streaming down my face.

(20)

In the blink of an eye, it was July 2008. Xinglu was still unmarried, and I was still unmarried.

My sister had visited Huizhou once in 2007 and talked to me for a long time. Because of my brother-in-law's experience, she understood that
I couldn't accept Xinglu doing sales. However, she offered a solution: she persuaded Xinglu to go back to Guangzhou
and switch to a technical job. Then she asked me if I would be willing to reconcile with Xinglu under those circumstances.

I said very firmly that I would marry Xinglu even if he didn't do sales or have a job.

My sister agreed, saying she'd always considered Xing Lu like a younger brother and didn't want him to work in sales. Her husband's
company was doing very well, and Xing Lu could actually come back and become the technical director. She'd try to persuade him

later. Unsurprisingly, the idea failed. Xing Lu even mistakenly thought it was my idea and
explained he really didn't want to live under someone else's wing.

I was so angry I ignored him, thinking, "Whatever, drink however you want."

Wenwen's situation changed drastically. In early 2007, she went to Hong Kong and gave birth to a boy, nicknamed Kang Kang,
obtaining Hong Kong residency directly. After bringing the child back, during the summer after Xiao Jue finished her college entrance exams,
she held a formal initiation ceremony at Director Shi's house, officially becoming a member of the family.

The main part of the ceremony was serving tea to Director Shi's parents, addressing them as "Mom and Dad." The two elders
had met Wenwen before during holidays and reportedly had a good impression of her. Now, having finally gained a grandson, they treated Wenwen exceptionally well.

Then Wenwen and Director Shi's first wife officially began addressing each other as sisters, and Xiaojue started calling her "Mom," which she surprisingly didn't
resist .

Later, Director Shi brought Wenwen's parents to stay with him for a few days, and they accepted the situation. In their
eyes, Wenwen's level of wealth was unimaginable to them. When they left, they even told Wenwen
to be filial her parents-in-law, take care of her son-in-law, and respect her older sister.

I watched Wenwen chattering away, looking completely satisfied, and smiled. So what if it doesn't align with my
values ? As long as she's happy.

I asked with a smile, "Xiao Jue really calls you Mom? It's hard to believe."

Wenwen nodded, "But Brother Shi told her to call her Second Mom, but she insisted on calling her Step Mom."

This little devil, I asked Wenwen with a smile, "Did she tell you why?"

Wenwen smiled and said, "She doesn't want to have a Third Mom anymore." Then, she chuckled softly, "Brother Shi promised
the whole family that there won't be a Third Mom."

Yes, with both a son and a daughter, the family is at least outwardly harmonious and peaceful. Director Shi is over 40, he should be satisfied
, right? This is all good news for Wenwen.

Wenwen breastfed me with her chest wide open, her snow-white breasts swaying back and forth, seemingly
even larger than before. Watching the baby gurgle and suckle, I actually felt a little tempted. I whispered to Wenwen,
"Can I have a taste too?"

Wenwen thought I was teasing her and laughed, as if to hit me. Then, seeing me swallow hard, she was surprised:
"Huihui, are you serious?"

I smiled greedily and leaned closer. Wenwen hesitated for a moment, then opened her clothes, revealing the other side to me:
"You can only have a little, you super glutton!"

So, I actually took two sips. There was absolutely no fishy taste as described in the books; it was sweet and very mild
. While I was savoring it, Wenwen quickly covered her chest, as if afraid I and the baby would steal the food. I
continued jokingly, "Wenwen, can you have some more?"

Wenwen sternly replied, "No way! Kang Kang is going through a growth spurt right now. I've been drinking
so much . And you're trying to take it from me?" Then she scolded me, "If you want some, hurry up and have one of your own.
You're almost 25, and you haven't even thought about finding someone. By the way, Xing Lu is still single, why don't you go have one with him?"

I was speechless. "Wenwen, you're much dumber than before you had a baby. I'm not even 24 yet."

Wenwen's reaction was unusually quick. "What about Xing Lu? He's over 30, right? He works in sales. If you don't
hurry go, he might not be able to have any more children in a couple of years."

I was a little stunned. Yes, Xing Lu was already 31. Suddenly, it felt like a long time had passed
. He was only in his early 20s when we broke up. Okay, he was 29, but that was still his early 20s.

I once asked Xing Lu on QQ why he wasn't dating anyone even though he was over thirty. Xing Lu always said the same
thing : "I don't want to waste time with good girls, and I don't want to date bad girls."

Xing Lu also asked me why I was still single, but I never answered him.

It's been more than a year and a half since he left, and we're still good friends on QQ. Time flows like still water.

That day, I received a job offer. A newly
established comic studio had discovered my series of comics on my blog and wanted to recruit me to draw long-form comics for various comic magazines and also take on advertising
creative projects.

Their lead creator was a girl my age who called me "sister." She earnestly persuaded me to join, saying that
although life in Beijing would be tough, there were more opportunities and room for growth. She couldn't understand why I would stay in a small place and be a high school teacher
for the rest of .

When I heard the job was in Beijing, I hesitated for a moment and told her I needed a few days to think about it.

It was then that I realized I hadn't truly achieved inner peace.

However, I only needed a little over a day to think it over and decided I couldn't go.

I downloaded an evaluation tool and analyzed the advantages and disadvantages of Huizhou and Beijing from various aspects, assigning weights of 6 to 1 to each of
life , work, children's education, relatives and friends, climate, and food, and then
rating each item from 1 to 10.

Life—no need to compare. I'm living so comfortably now; the kind of life in Beijing where you have to squeeze onto the subway for an hour to get to work
—forget about it. 6:3.

Work: I really enjoy drawing comics, but if it were a real job, it definitely wouldn't be fun. I
know stories of contracted artists being driven crazy by editors. But I genuinely love being a Chinese language teacher.

9:3.

Children's education: If I go to Beijing, I won't get a Beijing residency permit, and my child's school registration won't be in Beijing. They
won't be able to get into a good middle school and will have to go back to Huizhou for the college entrance exam. But maybe Xing Lu can help me get a Beijing residency permit? 5:5
.

Relatives and friends: My parents live in a suburb of Huizhou; it doesn't even take an hour to get home. Most of my university classmates are still
in Guangdong. I have so many friends; what's there to gain in Beijing? 9:1. Climate: Beijing is a terrible place; there
are sandstorms . Huizhou has one of the top ten places in the country for air quality. 9:1. Food: I've heard Beijing has so much
delicious food, but will I be able to get used to northern cuisine? 5:5.

I looked at the final results; the score difference was more than half, almost a hundred points! I thought for a moment and
wrote two words in the notes for the Beijing section: Xing Lu.

How many points should I give Xing Lu? I scratched my head. If it were me in my senior year of college, I probably would have just written 200 and
skipped the calculations. But now I'm no longer that little girl who would do anything for love.

I recalled the two months I spent living with Xing Lu in his room three years ago, and I was surprised to find that those anxious and
unpleasant memories had faded to almost nothing. What remained vividly in my mind were the times I
tried new sexual positions with Xing Lu, the times Xing Lu, in his lustful rage, laid me out on the table for daytime debauchery, the
times Xing Lu rubbed my breasts so hard when we were on top, the times Xing Lu slapped my buttocks so hard I couldn't even sit in a chair, the times Xing Lu roared
and forcefully thrust his penis deep inside me to ejaculate, and the times Xing Lu held me in his arms and kissed me lovingly.
So really is like that; people really do forget the bad memories and keep the beautiful and precious ones.

So, should I still go to Beijing? If I go now, I'll be very busy, and will I even care about Xing Lu's
sales life anymore? Forget it, how could that be? I'd rather not go through another ordeal and let it erase the beautiful memories I've painstakingly
preserved .

I carefully wrote a 0 in the Xing Lu's section of the notes, and changed the "life" ratio from 6:3 to 6:
6, because Xing Lu is in Beijing after all. I looked at the form, still a few dozen points short, and smiled self-deprecatingly.
Actually, I already knew this would be the result.

Just as I was about to reject the studio, Huang Wei called and quietly told me that Xing Lu was back and
would be staying for a week. Huang Wei didn't say anything else, but I understood what he meant. It was strange; why was it only
Xing Lu and I who felt we weren't a good match, while everyone else thought we should be together?

After hanging up, I wondered if I should talk to Xing Lu about it. Forget it, I've already analyzed it so thoroughly.
Even if Xing Lu wanted me to go, I couldn't go. What's the point of talking to him?

However, I couldn't explain why, but I never formally rejected the studio.

Xing Lu hadn't called or messaged me, and I was restless for several days. On
the fourth day, I couldn't hold back any longer and dialed Xing Lu's number. I didn't care anymore; I had to see him.

"Xing Lu, you're in Guangzhou?" I asked, my voice low and somewhat unnatural.

Xing Lu hummed in response. I whispered again, "Why didn't you tell me?" Xing

Lu was silent. I hesitated for a moment, then said, "Xing Lu, do you remember
the promise you made to me when you won the bid in Huizhou?"

Xing Lu said, "I remember, I'd be available anytime, anywhere in the country. But this time, I can't."

I suddenly felt a chill in my heart. Xing Lu had never broken a promise before. Why was he saying this? What had I done wrong that
he would treat me like this? I held back my tears and said, "Okay then, have a safe trip."

Xing Lu smiled and said, "Huihui, I've arrived in Huizhou. I just checked into the hotel and was just about to come find you
. This time it was my initiative, so you can save that promise for later."

The tears I had been holding back for so long finally burst forth. I covered my mouth so he wouldn't hear me crying, and then
hung up the phone.

I sobbed, tears streaming down my face, angry yet filled with joy. Then I calmed down, quickly
wiped my face with a damp towel, and called Xing Lu back, saying, "My phone died just now. What do you want? Will you come over or should
I go to you?"

Xing Lu hesitated for a moment, then said, "Why don't you take a taxi to pick me up? Let's go for a walk by West Lake."

I hummed in agreement, knowing he was worried about being seen if he picked me up from school. He's so thoughtful. But,
isn't he afraid of being seen while walking by West Lake? Sigh, I can't say anything to him.

An hour later, Xing Lu and I sat side by side in a taxi. Xing Lu noticed I was still wearing the red dress he'd bought me
and laughed, "You're still wearing this?"

I was annoyed. I'd only worn it twice! This fiery color—
what other opportunity was there besides showing it off to you? And it cost so much money! I kept a straight face and didn't say anything. I was supposed to pretend to be angry;
would it be funny to make me cry?

Xing Lu chuckled awkwardly, "Huihui, your figure hasn't changed at all; it still fits you perfectly."

I retorted sharply, "I know what you're trying to say—your chest is still so small!"

Xing Lu didn't laugh, but the taxi driver chuckled. My face flushed instantly, and I dared not say another word. Xing Lu probably...
Afraid I might give another surprising answer, he could only stand silently with a bitter face.

After a while, Xing Lu quietly reached out and grabbed my hand. I thought to myself: Hmm, not too stupid after all.

After getting off the car, we walked silently along the West Lake. When we got deep into the Jade Pagoda, I looked around to make sure no one was there,
then reached out and touched Xing Lu's genitals, but couldn't find them. I simply bent down, unzipped his zipper, and pulled out his...
thing .

Xing Lu was very nervous: "Huihui, I'm experienced."

I smiled at him, and then, as before, gently knelt down, bringing my lips to his. Xing Lu
whispered , "Huihui..."

Then, when my lips were very close to his, I curled my finger and flicked his glans hard. Xing Lu let out
a scream. Satisfied, I shoved him back in and zipped up the zipper.

I stood up: "You really thought I was going to give you oral sex here? Now you know what a dramatic turn of events feels like, right
?"

Xing Lu nodded with a bitter face.

I continued grumbling, "You probably guessed that my phone wasn't dead, it was because I
cried right?"

Xing Lu nodded again.

I glared at him, "So, will you still tease me like that?"

Xing Lu immediately replied, "Yes!"

I finally couldn't help but laugh; I couldn't keep up the act of feigning grievance any longer. Xing Lu took my
hand, "Come on, let's go a little further in."

I nodded in agreement, happily taking his arm.

Xing Lu slowly told me the purpose of his visit. The university town in Guangzhou, built with huge investments, was facing funding
problems, with payments to the construction company delayed. Many small companies went bankrupt, and some large companies were also severely impacted,
including Wei Ge's company.

Wei Ge's company's cash flow was almost gone, and the situation was very dangerous. Xing Lu came to find the general agent, wanting to
extend the payment period for the equipment Wei Ge owed by six months. The general agent had already agreed, and the next step depended on Wei Ge.

I was quite worried: "Will my brother-in-law be alright?" I really like them; my sister and brother-in-law
are so gentle and cheerful, I don't want to see them shrouded in gloom.

Xing Lu thought for a moment: "I've temporarily suspended a few profitable projects to maintain cash flow, so we should be able to get through this, but I don't know how long
it will take to recover."

Oh, that's good, that's good. Then I thought of another question: "Xing Lu, the 20 million equipment payment is delayed for six months,
the interest alone is over 400,000, right? You, as a salesperson,

have that much power?" Xing Lu shook his head: "The interest rate will be at least 12% based on the trust, so six months is 1.2 million in interest. I don't have that
kind of influence. Their boss, Mr. Sang, is a good friend of mine, and this time he was just helping out out of loyalty."

Oh, I think Xing Lu said that because he hadn't received payment from the general agent for several projects, he
became . I also remembered Xing Lu repeating someone else's saying: "Small victories rely on intelligence, great victories rely on virtue." That's really true
.

"By the way, why didn't you drive here?" I thought of another question.

"You mean that Audi? That's not mine, it belongs to the distributor. I never took any kickbacks from them, they
just got me an A6, and I returned it to them when I left Guangzhou."

"You could borrow it again this time."

"Forget it, the person I know at the traffic management office has been transferred, and I don't have a driver's license. It'd be difficult to handle if I got caught."

"Ah, you were driving without a license the whole time you were in Huizhou." I thought to myself: Xing Lu, you're
so unreliable. I thought you were such a trustworthy person.

Xing Lu didn't say anything, just looked at me mischievously. Seeing that wicked smile, I felt a little embarrassed and annoyed: "I was talking
about the car! Not me!"

Xing Lu laughed loudly, and I angrily pulled his head down, tilted my head back, and said, "Give me your tongue."

Then I kissed his lips.

Xing Lu really stuck his tongue out at me, and I sucked it in hard, then bit it hard. Xing Lu
screamed. I huffed and puffed, "What are you pretending for? It's not like it's the first or second time. I know I didn't
really hurt you!"

Xing Lu laughed, then pulled me into his arms, leaned down, and kissed me deeply. I turned my face away,
then said worriedly, "You're not allowed to bite me."

Xing Lu smiled and nodded, then kissed me again. Only then did I feel safe enough to meet his kiss. Xing Lu roughly sucked
my tongue in, sucking it with gusto. It felt so blissful and familiar. I closed my eyes and
hugged him .

Xing Lu hugged me tightly too. He was still so strong, like he wanted to crush me
. His hands were getting restless again, why was he squeezing my butt so hard?

Xing Lu whispered in my ear, "Don't worry, no one's around."

I softly hummed in agreement and said, "Then go ahead." As soon as I said that, I knew I was in trouble. Xing Lu, don't misunderstand
me. I didn't mean doing it here, I just wanted him to touch me a little more. I didn't want to have
sex with him in the open on the bench next to us.

Then, to my dismay, I discovered that he had rolled up my long skirt, and his hands were on my thighs,
then on my buttocks, reaching inside my underwear to knead and rub. His fingers traced my wet labia. I angrily
pushed him away: "You can do whatever you want at the hotel, but not now."

But Xing Lu pulled me into his arms again, murmuring, "Huihui, I missed you so much."

I hummed in response, hugging him tightly, feeling a little like crying. Xing Lu, I've missed you so much these past few days. We hugged tightly

for a while, until I could barely breathe, then Xing Lu let go of me, took my hand, and continued
walking deeper into West Lake, chatting leisurely as we went.

I told him about the Shi family taking a concubine, about Wenwen entering the household, and about how I had been craving Wenwen's milk a few days ago.
Xing Lu laughed heartily, saying that we were still the same as always, one clueless, the other irresponsible.

I laughed and said, "You should find a girlfriend soon. Wenwen said you're over thirty now, and as a salesperson,
it's easy to become infertile after thirty."

Xing Lu looked a little depressed, and I asked with concern, "You don't really have a problem, do you? We've had sex many times during
our fertile period, but I haven't gotten pregnant yet. Should we both get checked?"

Xing Lu shook his head. "You don't need to go. It's probably my problem. I drink too much, which
weakens my sperm motility. After returning to Beijing, I thought about getting checked, but then I thought since we're not married, it would be pointless, so I
haven't gone."

I hummed in agreement, worried that Xing Lu might be traumatized, and quickly reassured him, "Don't worry, everything should be fine."
"You're so vigorous in bed, how could there be a problem? It must be the probability issue you mentioned before."

Before Xing Lu could answer, I changed the subject and asked another question: "Xing Lu, what are your plans for the future? Are you
planning to settle down in Beijing?"

Xing Lu shook his head: "Beijing isn't a city for living. In a few years, when I'm older, I might go back to my hometown in
Sichuan . My brother is in America, and I need to go back to take care of my parents."

I nodded: "Life in Beijing isn't easy, you need to take better care of yourself. Are you still like before?

Ordering several dishes on Saturdays and then microwaving them for two days?"

Xing Lu smiled shyly and didn't say anything.

I shook my head: "You really should find a girlfriend. How can you eat takeout every day at this age?"

Xing Lu smiled: "Finding a girlfriend wouldn't help. How many young girls these days can cook? I really
miss the simple porridge and side dishes you used to eat in Guangzhou."

I also felt a little regretful: "Cooking isn't allowed in the faculty dorms, otherwise I could really cook a couple more meals for you."

Xing Lu fell silent. I realized the topic was getting a bit awkward. If I continued, would I be suggesting that I go to Beijing to
cook for Xing Lu? I quickly and awkwardly changed the subject: "Xing Lu, have all those big Olympic projects you were working on
finished bidding?"

Xing Lu smiled: "They're all done a long time ago. How can the Olympics even start if they only start bidding now?"

"So, how many did you win?" I asked him jokingly, then thought about what kind of gift to ask for.

Xing Lu shook his head and said calmly, "I lost them all."

"Huh???? Are the competitors that strong?" I was shocked. Xing Lu's sales skills, combined with their
products, how could they not win a single one?

Xing Lu continued, "No, I was supposed to get at least two, but our company had a huge bribery
scandal . The government announced it, and our business across the country dropped by half. Government clients are all afraid to use our services."

"Ah, what are you going to do then?"

"I might have to leave the company."

Xing Lu looked a little worried, but I suddenly felt a pang in my heart and quickly asked him, "So
what are your plans for the future?"

As I asked this question, my heart was pounding involuntarily. I thought to myself: Come back,
find , and then marry me. Or go to my brother-in-law's company as the technical director and then marry me.

(Twenty-one)

I nervously calculated that my current salary is over 3,000 yuan, but this year I just finished teaching
a round of students from the first year of high school to the third year. My graduating class's Chinese scores were very good, and I have published several papers. I will soon be eligible to apply for intermediate professional title, and then next semester I will be qualified to teach extracurricular classes and earn high hourly rates. I estimate that I can earn a total of 5,000 yuan
per month .
In that case, supporting Xing Lu wouldn't be just empty talk. Even if they had another child,
they could manage on a tight budget.

Xing Lu hesitated for a moment before saying, "I have two opportunities now. One is my old rival, H
Company , which wants me to be the general manager of their national major accounts department, with an annual salary of 800,000. The other is a small IT
company, P, offering me the position of general manager for their China region. There are only six or seven people in the whole country, but the annual salary is over 1 million."

Sigh, I was choked with embarrassment. I said softly, "My current annual salary is 40,000..." Then, I really
didn't have the courage to bring up the idea of Xing Lu quitting and coming back. These foreign companies' salaries are just too insane.

I gently asked again, "Back in Guangzhou, you earned less than 600,000, right?"

Xing Lu nodded. "580,000 in Guangzhou, 650,000 in Beijing. Half was basic salary, and the other half was bonuses based on
performance."

I nodded too. "So you wanted me to go to Guangzhou to be a full-time housewife back then because my income was negligible compared to
the family right?"

Xing Lu nodded helplessly again. "From an economic perspective, you being a full-time housewife is indeed the most efficient way.
Your presence can save me 20% of my energy. However, the meaning of work is not just income, but also your
sense of accomplishment and your life value. From this perspective, your work at the vocational school is no less valuable than mine
. I'd rather work harder and be your weekend partner than force you to quit your job."

I was somewhat touched, but I didn't show it. I said calmly, "So, are you going to switch jobs now? Both jobs pay more
than before."

Xing Lu shook her head. "No, both jobs have problems. If I go to H..." "As for the company, several of my
long-term distributors will definitely leave with me, and my boss will probably be laid off directly. He's treated me well, so I'll try to
avoid there if I can. That company, P, although the pay is high, is extremely
difficult to work for. It's too weak; we lose at least 8 out of 10 deals. It's incredibly frustrating. The most crucial thing is that they've changed three bosses in 5 years, and each time they just push a batch of goods onto their own relationships and
channels , then leave before they can sell them all. I can't do that."

I nodded: "Then don't go. Your company will recover eventually."

Xing Lu nodded: "Yeah, we'll see. I'm really scared of losing projects lately. Most of my
staff have left, and morale is almost completely gone. This is truly the hardest time I've ever had since I started working."

I felt sorry for him. Yes, based on what he said, I could imagine those scenarios, like the Huizhou
project , enduring immense pressure, preparing for the bid day and night, anxiously waiting for the results, and then
, unlike the Huizhou project, the project ultimately lost.

And the worst part is that this situation keeps repeating itself. It's terrifying
; I can't even bear to think about it. If I were there, I'd probably go crazy from the heartache and stress.

Feeling uncomfortable, I let go of Xing Lu's hand and instead hugged his arm tightly. Xing Lu turned around and
hugged me back, and I nestled into his embrace again. Sigh, I feel so sorry for him.

I held Xing Lu tightly, without saying a word. Xing Lu patted my head and smiled, saying, "
Don't think about work for now. Huihui, do you want to go to Beijing? The Bird's Nest and Water Cube are finished, they're magnificent."

I shook my head: "I don't like traveling, you know that. Besides," I paused, and began to softly recite in Xing Lu's
arms , "Qin loved extravagance, and people also longed for their homes. Alas, they took every last penny, and used it like mud and sand."
My tone was soft, but the recitation still carried a hint of anger: "The pillars supporting the buildings outnumbered the farmers in the fields;
the rafters supporting the beams outnumbered the weaving women at their looms; the nail heads gleamed, outnumbered the grains of millet in the granaries; the uneven tiles outnumbered
the threads of silk on one's body; the straight railings and horizontal balustrades outnumbered the city walls of the nine provinces."

Xing Lu laughed: "Huihui, you have such a strong opinion about Beijing hosting the Olympics?"

I nodded. "The entire Midwest lacks funding for education resources, less than half the amount invested in the Olympics. This money
could solve the schooling problem for children in mountainous areas twice over.

" Xing Lu smiled again, a somewhat weary smile. "It's a pity that someone like me lives off these big projects."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to offer him any insincere comfort or agreement. Xing Lu patted my head and
sighed , "To establish a heart for heaven and earth, to establish a destiny for the people, to continue the lost learning of the sages. A Chinese teacher truly needs a
compassionate heart. Huihui, you've really grown up."

I enjoyed his touch. I knew I had grown a lot in the past two years. I even felt that
although I was almost 30cm shorter than Xing Lu, I could now look him in the eye psychologically.

I said softly, "Xing Lu, I might go to Beijing, but if I do, it won't be for tourism; it will be
to be with you."

I suddenly looked up at him and asked, "Xing Lu, I received a good job offer in Beijing. Do you want me
to come and take care of you?"

As soon as I finished speaking, I wanted to slap myself. How pathetic! I had analyzed everything so well beforehand; there was no
reason for me to go. Why did I forget everything just because he hugged me?

No, it wasn't because of a hug, but because of what Xing Lu had just said. This was his most difficult time, and
that's why I had the urge to go and take care of him. But how could I possibly take care of him? In that situation, what could I do besides be
there heartbroken and sleepless?

Xing Lu seemed stunned for a moment, then subconsciously nodded, and then shook his head after a couple of seconds.

Xing Lu gently released me, took my hand, and looked into my eyes. "Huihui, I'm sorry. I
like , I like being with you, it feels warm and reassuring to be with you, but there's no
feeling of passionate love. I'm worried that if you go to Beijing, we won't be able to make it work like last time. I'll always remember that
night when I threw up all over the bed, especially in your arms. I felt so guilty, and it's still
a shadow over . I can't let you live a life of suffering again."

I shook my head. "No feeling of passionate love. Because, 'Once you've seen the ocean, you can't be satisfied with a river'?"

Xing Lu nodded, and my tears suddenly started flowing uncontrollably. Xing Lu refused; I didn't have to
go to Beijing. I should be relieved, but why am I so sad? I looked at him quietly,
tears streaming down my face. Xing Lu seemed a little scared and gently pulled me into his arms again.

I buried my face in his chest, choking back tears, and said, "Once you've seen the ocean, other waters seem insignificant. She was your
ocean , but you are mine too. Xing Lu, do you know how many people have pursued me since I left you?
But I always unconsciously compared them to you. If they weren't like you, I wouldn't want them. I can't let go, I
can't let go ..."

I finally couldn't hold back anymore and burst into tears, overwhelmed with grievance. Since I met Xing Lu, I had always strived for
equality , and he had tried everything to make it up to me. But where was true equality? I
loved him with all my heart, burning with my life, but he didn't love me. What good
was ?

I cried so hard, releasing all the pent-up emotions, grievances, longing, and affection of the past three years.
Xing Lu didn't know what to say, remaining silent, just holding me tightly.

Finally, I cried until I was exhausted, and my tears had dried up. I slowly calmed down. Just then, Xing Lu gently
called my name, "Huihui."

"Hmm?" I looked up at him.

"Why don't you come..."

Ah, Xing Lu wants me to go to Beijing? Xing Lu wants me to go to Beijing! Xing Lu, a man of his word, never goes
back on his promise. He said he would come to Beijing, and he would definitely marry me! More than two years have passed, and he's still willing to marry me.

I stared at him blankly. So he still cares about me. All the grievances I felt earlier suddenly vanished,
replaced by a wave of happiness.

But, care is not love. I smiled and gently shook my head.

Xing Lu was a little stunned, confused.

I gathered my thoughts and slowly said to Xing Lu, "Xing Lu, I love you, I love you so much, but I
also love myself. You are my lover, but not the right person for me."

I gently shook my head as I said, "Xing Lu, I can't live that kind of life. In Huizhou,
those nights before the bidding, you were so anxious, and I was on tenterhooks for days. The night before the bidding,
I couldn't sleep even though you were asleep. Those days were a nightmare. I really, really dislike that kind of life." "

During those two months living together, I experienced the hardships of being a sales partner. I can accept financial
constraints, but I can't accept the torment of life. You know, those two months living together made me especially miss
the days when you would come to visit me in our rented apartment."

"Xing Lu, I'm living a very peaceful life now. The simple life in a small city is what I'm pursuing. I don't want to
brave the waves with you, to watch you soar. I don't have the capacity to bear
the price you pay for so-called success."

"Xing Lu, I filled out a form and realized that no matter how I calculate it, I shouldn't go to Beijing. My life
really isn't there."

"I cried because of all the emotional investment I've made over the years, not because you don't want me."

"Intense love will eventually fade, and the heartache I feel now will pass. When the passion is gone, all that's left is
life itself, but I can't live that kind of life. Rather than being together and ending up in a mess, it's better to separate
and leave each other with perfect memories."

I said very solemnly, "Xing Lu, I'm sorry, I've changed my mind. I'm not going."

Xing Lu looked at me quietly and then said, "Okay."

I smiled and stretched, "Finally, I rejected you for once. I feel so good."

Xing Lu laughed, took my hand, and continued walking.

I slowly told Xing Lu about my life: my blog, my comics, my teaching, my
mischievous students, the budding couples, the little gluttons who begged me for cookies, and
the big cake I made up for on my birthday.

Xing Lu listened intently, and at the end, he sighed, "Huihui, I understand. This is a wonderful life, and
I envy it."

I smiled slightly, "You are my life, and I am my livelihood. Men are born to take on the responsibility of changing the world. The life you
have chosen is the right one, but I can no longer be with you."

Xing Lu nodded vigorously, seemingly lost in thought. Then, glancing at his phone, he said, "It's past 11. Let me take
you back to your dorm."

I protested, "Why should I go back to my dorm?"

"Huh?" Xing Lu didn't understand.

"Xing Lu, in August 2005, you said you were going to transfer back to Beijing and break up with me, but you didn't
go back until the end of 2006."

"Huh?" Xing Lu really couldn't understand what I was trying to say.

"You lied to me! You made me miss out on a year and a half of sex during my most vibrant years!"

"Huh?" Xing Lu was speechless at my logic.

"So, you should at least make it up to me a little," I said with a smile.

Xing Lu laughed too, walked out of West Lake, hailed a taxi, and took us directly to the hotel. Then, Xing Lu
noticed something awkward: the hotel rooms no longer provided condoms. Turning to me, I said I was ovulating
. But, it was too late to go out and buy some, so Xing Lu hesitated.

I smiled and took Xing Lu's hand. "Let fate decide. If I'm pregnant, I'll come to Beijing, and you
'll marry me. If I'm not pregnant, then we'll go our separate ways."

"Okay. But, Huihui, you can come even if you're not pregnant, and I'll marry you."

"Xing Lu, don't make me reject you twice in one day just to satisfy my vanity..."

Xing Lu looked at me calmly. I understood; what he said would be true, and I
could come over anytime I regretted it. I was so happy. I stepped forward and hugged him tightly, wanting to kiss him, but I couldn't reach him even on tiptoe... So
annoying...

Xing Lu laughed, picked me up, and put me on the bed.

I laughed and said, "Xing Lu, this is the last time. I'm giving you special privileges today; you can do whatever you want."

Xing Lu's eyes lit up: "I want nipple play..."

I said angrily, "Xing Lu, if you mock my small breasts again, I'll bite you."

Xing Lu said helplessly, "I want to go behind you..."

I was even angrier: "No way, that's too perverted!"

Xing Lu shrugged: "What's the difference between then and before? There's no special privilege."

I laughed: "You can give me a facial..."

Xing Lu got angry again: "No way, that's too perverted!"

I laughed and pulled him over, then whispered in his ear, "I'm giving you special privileges; you can do whatever you
want , anything."

Xing Lu was delighted: "Then I want to go behind you."

I said dejectedly, "I said you can do whatever you want, why are you asking..."

However, we tried a few times, but when we tried to go behind him, it was impossible. It was completely impossible to get in. Xing Lu
's glans was too big, and the anus was obviously less elastic than the vaginal opening. It couldn't open any further after stretching to a certain extent, and any more
force would definitely tear it. When Xing Lu pushed hard to a certain extent, I couldn't bear the pain anymore, so he
couldn't continue.

Xing Lu tried massaging and rubbing me to loosen up, but he rubbed around my anus for too long, which aroused my desire to the point of bursting.
I pushed him down and used the woman-on-top position, and we both finished. Of course, it was the woman-on-top position.

Xing Lu also tried having normal sex first, then pulling out after I orgasmed, and then trying to penetrate me
from behind , but he still couldn't get in. When I was very wet from the front, Xing Lu used the wetness to
make my anus very wet and slippery, but he still couldn't get in.

He applied a lot of lotion from the hotel bathroom, but he still couldn't get in.

The next day, when we went down to eat, we bought some lubricant, but he still couldn't get in. I was gloating, thinking, "Serves
you right for being so thick."

So, Xing Lu gave up completely. Therefore, what I enjoyed for the past two days was completely
normal .

Yes, it was two days. Xing Lu didn't leave on Saturday either; he stayed until noon on Sunday before checking out.

I don't know how greedy I was this time, or how many times we did it. I only know that this was the first time I
demanded so much that even Xing Lu couldn't take it anymore and finally gave in.

"Huihui, I really can't take it anymore..."

"Then, I'll go downstairs and buy you Viagra."

"Huihui..."

"Okay, I'll let you go, hug me again."

"Okay."

...

"Huh, he seems to be reacting again..."

"Huihui, no... it hurts..."

On Sunday morning, when I woke up, I found Xing Lu propping his head up with his arm, looking at
me with love. I smiled lazily at him. Last night, the last time, Xing Lu said his penis hurt when he got erect and begged me to stop,
but I still didn't let him go. I used the woman-on-top position to drain him completely, and he ejaculated very little at the end. I was
also very exhausted because of this, and I still feel very tired after waking up.

Xing Lu laughed and said, "Huihui, it's ten o'clock. If you don't get up soon, the hotel breakfast time will be over."

I thought for a moment and smiled at Xing Lu, saying, "No need, I'll just have some protein."

"Are you going to have some protein?" Xing Lu asked in confusion, then instantly understood. He immediately lifted the blanket to leave,
but I pulled him back, then bent down and took his penis into
my mouth stopped struggling.

I swallowed and released his mouth dozens of times, then straddled him, mocking Xing Lu, "You say no, but your body
is very honest."

I held his already hard and hot penis, and slowly sat down at the entrance of his vagina. It hurt so much, the area outside
his labia hurt. It must be because of too much friction. I inhaled and continued to sit all the way down, starting
to thrust back and forth. Whatever, it won't hurt when the feeling comes.

Xing Lu's hands climbed up to my breasts again and began to gently knead them. I grinned and leaned down,
whispering in Xing Lu's ear, "If you behave well this time, I'll give you a surprise later."

Xing Lu immediately increased the pressure in his hands. It hurt. Xing Lu hadn't been very rough or violent these past two days.
The pain in my breasts was purely from the excessive kneading he'd done these past few days. With each movement of Xing Lu's hands and the
repeated thrusts of his penis against my clitoris, I couldn't help but start moaning loudly.

Xing Lu flipped me over and made me kneel down, slapping my buttocks hard several times. I cried
out , but it wasn't a sound of pain. This was our usual way of making love—slapping my buttocks
until they were red before going into me from behind. But after I finished moaning, I stopped him: "Xing Lu, wait a minute."

Xing Lu looked puzzled and placed his penis at the entrance, not entering. I gently, a little embarrassed, said, "Xing..."
"Lu, I've always wanted to try what it would feel like to be whipped by you..."

Yes, it's so strange. I don't know why I have this thought. Maybe it's because I love him so much that
I want to get a painful pleasure from this kind of torture? Or maybe I feel that leaving him would be unfair to him, and being tortured by him
would make me feel better? I really don't know why. Before I went to Guangzhou to live with Xing Lu, I drew a
sketch of Xing Lu whipping me from behind. Every time I saw that picture, I would get excited
and want it. So when Xing Lu wanted to take me on a trip that May Day, I would use the whip incident as a bargaining chip to avoid going
. At that time, I was already looking forward to it.

I've always been a little afraid that I might have some kind of mild psychological abnormality, so I never dared to let Xing Lu know.
But now, maybe it's my farewell to Xing Lu, so it wouldn't hurt to do it once.

Xing Lu hesitated for a moment, then refused, "Never mind, there's no whip here."

Embarrassed, I pointed towards the desk, then buried my face in the pillow, too ashamed to look at him.
The hotel had a computer on the desk, and the power cord was the perfect thickness and length; I'd already chosen it last night…

My voice was barely audible, "Only a spanking…"

Xing Lu's penis left my opening; he was going to unplug the power cord, I thought, a mixture of anticipation and
nervousness . To my surprise, Xing Lu slapped my buttocks several more times,
harder than ever before. I cried out, this time a real scream of pain, my buttocks burning.

Then, his penis thrust in rapidly and unreasonably, pumping in and out at high speed. Damn Xing Lu, if you don't want to cooperate
, at least give a reason! He just started without a word. But this time, Xing Lu's attack was too fierce; before I
could protest, my throat was completely filled with groans and screams.

Xing Lu seemed to be getting longer and longer. Even after my two orgasms, he didn't stop. Then he made me use my mouth. I had
just taken it in and swallowed a few times when he ejaculated. It seemed he had been holding back, wanting to finally ejaculate in my
mouth. He probably thought this was goodbye.

I looked up at my watch. Oh my god, it was past 11 o'clock. I had to check out, or I would miss my flight to Guangzhou.

There was no time to shower. Xing Lu and I hurriedly packed our things. While packing, I asked him
why he hadn't used the whip earlier.

Xing Lu stopped what he was doing and looked at me seriously: "Huihui, some lines shouldn't be crossed easily
."

I pouted: "It's nothing, I was just curious about what it would feel like to be tortured by you. It
doesn't really hurt the body."

Xing Lu sighed: "Huihui, people who smoke marijuana say the same thing, people who take ecstasy say the same thing
, but most of them eventually can't resist trying cocaine, and then they're done for."

I was a little stunned. Was it that serious? Xing Lu probably sensed my confusion: "Strictly speaking, the pleasure from
sex and drugs works on the same principle—both stimulate the central nervous system to produce dopamine. Most
stimuli that excite you weaken over time, so drug use requires increasingly larger doses, but the harm also increases.

There are slaves in that circle in Beijing, and some girls really do fall into depravity. I know a girl who's only in her twenties
, and now her body is ruined; she can barely walk. Whipping is like ecstasy; absolutely
never touch it.

Huihui, promise me you won't touch it either, okay?"

I was touched and nodded vigorously. Then, curiously, I asked him, "Back then, when you suddenly thrust in
and did it so quickly, was there some kind of perverse thrill in your mind?"

Xing Lu looked both amused and annoyed, "Huihui, I was startled at the time. If I didn't thrust in and
move quickly, I might have gone soft..."

Oh, I see. Xing Lu really cares about me. I smiled at Xing Lu and said, "Now I'm
very satisfied with your performance just now."

Xing Lu was a little confused, "And then?"

I was a little annoyed. This idiot had forgotten what I said. I pouted, "I said if you perform well,
there will be a surprise for you."

Xing Lu immediately widened his eyes and looked at me expectantly.

I smiled slightly and said, "I want to go to Beijing for a week. Would you welcome me?"

Xing Lu smiled and hugged me, whispering in my ear, "The longer you stay, the better."

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