[On the Road]

A Journey Through Life Part

1 "

Life is full of disappointments, tomorrow I'll let my hair down and drift away in a small boat

"—Li Bai, Tang Dynasty, "Farewell to Uncle Yun at Xie Tiao Tower in Xuanzhou."

Faint music flowed quietly, filling the space .

My name is Haonan, born in the 1970s in an ancient village in Northwest China, near the Yellow River. Thanks to

the diligence and wisdom of my ancestors, I had a wealthy family. I grew up happily and innocently, pampered by my family,

until I entered university.

Today, I'm wearing a light blue jacket, a cigarette between my fingers, sitting casually in the Old Tree Cafe

, watching the people hurrying by outside the window wearing masks, expressionless and depressed.

"Damn it," I slowly exhaled a smoke ring.

The waitress in the green uniform was a very pretty young girl. Carrying a delicate thermos, she

smiled and asked me, "Brother Nan, would you like some water?" I gave a noncommittal "hmm," my gaze

lingering on the girl's bright eyes and white teeth. The dark brown bone badge with the Old Tree Coffee logo was prominently displayed by her full breasts through

her clothes.

Watching the waitress blush and leave, I picked up my teacup, took a sip of the premium Biluochun tea, and

slowly admired the girl's bouncy gait, the beautiful curve of her round, slightly upturned buttocks.

"Little slut," I uttered softly, a smile slowly spreading across my face. "Slut

" was Ah Fei's catchphrase; whenever he saw a beautiful woman, Ah Fei would utter these two

incredibly satisfying words. Lately, I'd picked it up quite well.

Thinking of Ah Fei, my mood improved considerably.

Ah Fei was my best friend, my only confidant over the years. In my eyes, Afei is a sincere, frank

, and extraordinary person; such a friend is rare indeed.

In the early 1990s, I left my remote village to study in the provincial capital. University life was undoubtedly

the happiest time of his life. Having loved reading since childhood, my appearance, besides being refined, had

a strong scholarly air, which made me very popular with female classmates.

During those years, I had several relationships, either actively or passively. Most of these early romances

ended without a trace, perhaps because the plots were too ordinary or the girls were too easily won over.

Only the last one was an exception. I was captivated by a female classmate who, although not particularly beautiful, was exceptionally intelligent

. Her bright, expressive eyes kept me awake at night. After what I considered an incredibly difficult

relationship , this girl became my wife.

After graduation, I was assigned to a large state-owned financial enterprise. At work,

while paying attention to interpersonal relationships, I was also diligent, hardworking, and eager to learn, quickly gaining the recognition of my superiors and colleagues. After experiencing

various job positions, I was appointed as the office director of my unit during an organizational reform,

becoming the youngest section-level cadre in the unit.

Those days, the sun always shone brightly.

I miss those wonderful times, I miss those warm and friendly friends, I miss that female colleague with whom I had an ambiguous

relationship , and I miss that work circle that I was so immersed in.

Actually, I know very well that the reason work felt so good during those days was mainly because I had something

to rely on, and my time felt fulfilling. He once thought he had found a philosophy that aligned with his life logic, and he was used to interpreting various events and guiding his actions with his

own understanding.

But since leaving that grassroots state-owned unit where he had worked so hard and transferring to a department within the system,

Zeng Hao has never been happy again.

These days, work feels as bland as plain water to me. The passion and

vitality have long since vanished.

Flicking my cigarette ash, I sighed and fell into memories of the past.

Part Two

: Loneliness, loss, a mirage's refuge, persistence, and the illusion of seeing only through the darkness. Mistaking

tears There's no need to chase love anymore; there's no way back. I'm left

to grieve alone. The saddest moment is savoring happiness in solitude, traversing the cold desert alone—the collapse of love, leaving me scarred. Your

betrayal is gone forever; my heart is cold and dejected. Who can face this raging sandstorm? There's no need to chase love anymore; there shouldn't be no way back .

I sincerely hope for a more beautiful comfort .

------ Song "Reliance"

Marriage is an essential

school

for mature men, and for me, it's no exception. My wife after marriage is completely different from how she was in college. Her former intelligence and wit only become apparent during arguments. Someone once said that pain is actually a kind of nourishment. This nourishment objectively trains men's resilience

; they either collapse or are reborn. Due to differences in personality, differing views, and various

trivial matters in real life, family conflicts arose between my wife and me. The final result was that my wife

was immune to all harm, while I was left scarred.

The most memorable time was one night when something I said triggered my wife's sensitivity,

igniting a raging fire.

After going through the cycle of excitement, anger, calm, and regret once again, I was speechless and

lay in bed, unable to sleep for a long time. So I simply grabbed a bottle of Northwest Wolf cigarette, stood barefoot on the balcony with a cigarette in my mouth, and slowly

savored the taste of marriage. I opened the window, and the gray sky was completely silent, not a single star twinkling. A

cold wind rushed in, accompanied by a long sigh, and I wrote this poem to record my feelings at that moment.

"Eight-Tone Ganzhou" Year x Month x Night, reminiscing about bygone days, Holding her slender hand, I spoke my heart, even in poverty and hardship, there was fragrance.

Looking at the school buildings, the construction site was noisy, construction was hurried.

Rare was the youthful spirit, joy had nowhere to hide.

Even on holidays, we would meet, nestled together until dawn.

Who would have thought tonight, melancholy, letting dreams be hazy, with no one to talk to.

Having experienced many worldly affairs, Xiangyang is unforgettable.

Thinking of yesterday, youthful arrogance.

I never knew what could cause such heartbreak.

How could I know that at this moment, I would drink and speak of

my life's vicissitudes? From that day forward, I resolved to shift my focus, to avoid conflict with my wife. We might argue, but

our love remains heavy. Six years have passed since we met, and the passionate fervor of our courtship still lingers.

The Buddha was still alive yesterday, but how did things change so drastically after marriage? Now I understand—this is a universal

law .

So I gradually began to focus my energy on work, frequently seeking opportunities to work overtime. One day I'd be modifying UPS lines,

the next testing backup routers, the day after organizing system upgrade documents, and so on—busy with things that outsiders wouldn't easily

understand . After a while, while escaping family conflicts, I also achieved

considerable success at work—a double win. Especially after I started managing the office, I was brimming with ambition, feeling like there was nothing I couldn't do. 　　In the following two years, due to work, I met many women, mostly charming and beautiful; some petite and lovely, others alluring and seductive. Xiaomei belonged to the former, while Gu Siyu belonged to the latter. 　　That day, I drove my "Bitch" ( a nickname I gave to my office car, a Hainan-made vehicle ) to the 　　telecom bureau to apply for an ADSL line. During those days, I spent a lot of time driving it around town, but more often I lingered outside almost every karaoke bar, pub, and even bathhouse. While waiting in the long line in the telecom lobby, handing my ADSL application form to the clerk , I asked her, with an impatient expression , about the average download speed for a 1Mbps internet connection. She didn't even look up, dismissing it as, "We don't handle technical issues here." 　　I immediately lost my temper, slamming my hand on the counter and demanding of the employee, "What kind of attitude is this? What kind of service is this? Do you even know anything?" 　　The young woman was even more aggressive, standing up and giving me a sideways glance, saying, "What are you yelling about? For technical support, go to the customer service center upstairs!" 　　Just then, Xiao Mei, the engineer on duty that week, appeared. Wearing a dark blue business suit, Xiao Mei was 1.62 meters tall, with a ponytail, bright eyes, and white teeth. For a moment, I was struck by her beauty. 　　A month later, in a room on the top floor of a Singapore hotel, when I first stripped the shy Xiaomei naked , gazing at her snow-white body, my mind was reeling. 　　Three. 　　The phoenix-embroidered curtains are rolled high, the beast-ringed vermilion doors sway frequently. Two red suns rise above the flower-covered trellis. Spring sleep is drowsy and hard to wake. 　　Good dreams follow the flying catkins wildly, idle sorrow is thick, better than fragrant wine. Rainy evenings and cloudy mornings are not possible. Another spring has passed. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　----Liu Yong, "West River Moon" 　　"You rascal, what are you thinking about?" Xiaomei lay on the bed, propping her chin up with her elbows, tilting her , her watery eyes looking at me with concern, her loose ponytail falling over her thin shoulders. 　　I, shirtless, leaned against two large pillows, lovingly stroking Xiaomei's smooth back, looking into her happy and shy eyes, feeling a warmth mixed with a hint of unease. Originally, I only intended to flirt with girls as , but now, after having Xiaomei's body, I felt inexplicably pressured. Xiao Mei noticed the slight unease in my movements 　　"It's nothing, I'm fine," I said, stubbing out my cigarette and pulling Xiao Mei into my arms, trying to regain my composure. While sucking on her rosy lips, my right hand gently pinched her pink, tender nipple, then slid down to her smooth abdomen, stroking it lightly. 　　Xiao Mei closed her eyes tightly, her pretty face flushed, her breathing quickening, occasionally letting out a soft nasal sound. Waves of pleasure surged through my skilled fingers, rushing to my brain and body, causing a slight tremor. 　　I knelt on the soft bed, parting Xiao Mei's legs, gazing at the girl's moist, alluring vulva. Her pale pink labia were slightly protruding, the sparse pubic hair beside them already damp with the rapidly secreted fluids from her sensitive body. 　　What a good girl, I thought sincerely. 　　After the climax, Xiaomei fell into a deep sleep in my arms with a sweet smile. Looking at her innocent face, my heart suddenly tightened again… 　　In the days that followed, I spent at least one day a week with Xiaomei. Although the innocent Xiaomei once solemnly told me with her big eyes, “I don’t ask anything of you, and I don’t want to cause any trouble. I just want us to be happy together,” I felt a jolt of fear every time my phone rang at home. I even silenced the text message notifications. 　　The feeling of having an affair, coupled with Xiaomei’s youthful vitality, always brought me an irresistible temptation, but at the same time, it brought me a lot of psychological pressure. It wasn’t that I was worried about my wife finding out about the affair, but rather that every time , I was filled with self-reproach. Facing the kind and gentle Xiaomei, I felt truly shameless and despicable. 　　I've loved reading since I was a child, initially obsessed with martial arts novels. In fifth grade, I read a serialized version of Jin Yong's "Seven Swordsmen of Mount Tian" in a bimonthly magazine, and I was hooked. I searched everywhere for similar novels, practically turning the school library upside down in junior high. Instead of martial arts novels, I found many Ming and Qing dynasty classics. Due to the early exposure to sexual descriptions in some novels, I often couldn't sleep at night . The restlessness of puberty led me to start masturbating 　　in my second year of junior high. Lacking proper guidance, the prolonged and frequent masturbation left me with a sallow complexion and a deep sense of guilt, which ironically contributed to my melancholic yet alluring appearance. I was only thirteen at the time. 　　My studies didn't suffer due to this distraction; I consistently ranked among the top three in my grade. I was often praised by my teachers, especially my English teacher, a beautiful woman who had recently graduated from a regional model school. She particularly liked me as the class's English representative. Many years later, the swaying of her hips as she walked still lingers in my memory. 　　So much so that, as an adult, I developed a particular fondness for women with beautiful buttocks. I would often confidently tell Ah Fei, while chatting and drinking , that I possessed a unique and discerning eye for women's hips. I held those who only appreciated a woman's face in utter contempt and scorn. 　　IV 　　. The clouds weave patterns, the stars convey sorrow, the Milky Way stretches vast and silent. A single meeting in the golden autumn breeze and jade dew surpasses countless encounters in the mortal world. 　　Tender feelings flow like water, the auspicious day is like a dream, how can one bear to look back on the road to the Magpie Bridge? If two hearts are truly bound for eternity, why should they be together every single day?

During

that period, Xiaomei and I either stayed in hotels, spent time at the cinema, or even at the local

zoo . When we walked together on the street, I tried to keep my distance from Xiaomei, but

I knew that even a fool could see the lover's gaze she gave me.

To avoid being discovered by acquaintances, and to be able to stay with me more comfortably, instead of feeling like a thief every time, I wanted to keep my distance

. Xiaomei, who had only graduated from the University of Electronic Science and Technology of China a year ago and had just been promoted to a permanent position, rented an apartment near

the History Museum She furnished it simply, moving her computer, clothes, dolls

, and even her professional books all from the telecommunications bureau dormitory. Xiaomei even bought her favorite

green curtains, making the apartment incredibly romantic and cozy.

After I had prepared a reason for not going home for my wife, I drove my chauffeur to that apartment complex. As I

slowly walked up to the sixth floor, following the address Xiaomei had given me on the phone during the day, I felt inexplicably nervous, a strong sense of

sinking deeper and deeper enveloping me.

When I rang the doorbell, Xiaomei's playful voice came from inside: "Who is it? Who are you looking for?"

For a moment, I was speechless. Standing at the door, clutching the Gucci fanny pack Xiaomei had given me, I looked at

Xiaomei peeking out from the crack in the door, grinning. I found myself becoming awkward, even my expression was so

strange .

"Hmm? You're so weird—" Xiaomei stopped joking, opened the door and pulled me into the house. After looking around,

she looked at me triumphantly, as if she were something special. "Our home is nice, isn't it? Haha." Xiaomei, wearing a

pink nightgown, happily hugged me, raising her eyebrows and tilting her head.

Home? My heart skipped a beat. I took off my coat, put down my bag, changed into slippers, and looked

around. It was a simple two-bedroom apartment, clean and bright. In the bedroom was a large double bed, with

two pairs of delicate slippers, one large and one small, placed in front of it.

I walked into the bedroom, lay down on the bed, and felt a familiar girlish scent. Xiaomei must have rested here.

"It's nice, really nice," I praised repeatedly, feeling a deep sense of gratitude.

"You're only telling me now, huh!" Xiaomei feigned anger.

"Alright, alright, baby, be good!" I pulled Xiaomei into my arms. "Thank you so much."

After a passionate kiss while holding Xiaomei's warm, limp body, I began the most relaxed

and wonderful lovemaking I'd ever had with her.

Xiaomei was a girl from the South, and while she appeared slender, I knew very well that, in the local dialect,

she was a typical "fatso"—slim where she should be, and curvy where she should be. She had full breasts,

the kind that were firm and elastic, a rare sight in my previous romantic encounters.

I ran my hand over Xiaomei's smooth thighs, across her round, pert buttocks, and back to her already swollen breasts. I gently traced the erect nipples with

my fingertips , the intense stimulation causing Xiaomei to whimper. Accompanied by slight

spasms, her body involuntarily twisted and turned, only wrapping her arms around my neck, letting our tongues entwine

wildly .

Not wanting to interrupt my passionate kiss with Xiaomei, I slowly pulled her panties down with my right hand.

The obedient Xiaomei lifted her buttocks, cooperating with my hand. Gradually, the narrow panties were pulled down

below her knees. I lifted my foot and gently used it to pull the panties down between Xiaomei's legs.

Supporting myself with my left elbow, I lay on top of Xiaomei, using my knee to spread her full thighs, and

sucked on her two proud, bright red nipples with

my tongue. Passionate Xiaomei no longer cared about shyness; she wrapped her legs around my bare back. With a gentle push,

I understood Xiaomei's hint. I thrust my hips forward, aiming my extremely erect penis at her honeyed cave surrounded by lush grass

, slowly entering that already warm and moist paradise. With each thrust,

the familiar tingling sensation of being tightly enveloped slowly rose from my penis, spreading throughout my body.

After a long while, accompanied by Xiaomei's disordered moans and intense pleasure, I groaned a few times, my spine throbbing, and

finally ejaculated deep into Xiaomei's vagina... In the instant we reached our climax together, I wished time

could stand still, frozen, and last forever.

I pulled out my limp penis, looking at Xiaomei's disheveled hair, her dazed eyes, and the

sticky white semen slowly flowing from her vaginal opening, a wave of confusion washed over me...

Holding me tightly, Xiaomei said, "Hao, I feel so happy."

Facing the beautiful and gentle Xiaomei, a surge of love welled up inside me. I realized I had fallen deeply in love with this

kind and innocent girl. In the heat of passion, I was willing to give everything I had for Xiaomei's happiness.

As long as I could be with her, I wouldn't care about anything else!

But as I got back to the car and turned the key, reason quietly returned. How could I face

my wife, who was domineering but innocent? How could I explain this to my traditional parents in the countryside, especially my hot-tempered and

stubborn father? He was indignant and intolerant of this fickle behavior.

I had heard the story of "The Case of Chen Shimei" from the Qinqiang opera countless times when I was a child.

Thinking of my father, I felt a chill and sadness. These past few years, my father had grown old and his health had declined

. He often hoped I would give him a grandson, constantly nagging about it. But what had I given him?

Being extremely filial, I ran my hand through my hair and pulled hard. Distracted by my thoughts,

a Jetta taxi coming from the opposite direction almost scraped the woman's front bumper.

5.

What can numb the pain of sleepless nights? So many emotions, how can I face them? It's not that I don't want your company, there are things

you can't understand. With my defenses down, loneliness follows me. I want my own space to think about our

future. If love isn't as sweet as we imagined, then let me bear all the blame. My heart is too chaotic, I need

some space. If you understand, let me leave temporarily. My heart is too chaotic, I dare not crave more love.

I want to cry, but no matter how I cry, I can't. My heart is too chaotic, I need some space. Is God still here? Has He forgotten

to arrange things My heart is too chaotic, I'm afraid of betrayal in love. I want to cry, like a lost child. Lost child

... (Song: "My Heart is Too Chaotic")

Once, I hugged Xiaomei and asked seriously, "Silly girl, I'm such a loser, why are you

so ?"

Xiaomei put her hands in the pockets of her tight Lee jeans, thought for a moment, and then exaggeratedly acted regretful and

upset, "I got tricked, I was fooled, I didn't expect the water to be so deep." Seeing my

serious look as I stared at her waiting for an answer, Xiaomei's heart softened, and she said, "Silly girl, go

look at my webpage."

Xiaomei loved web design; she was a Java expert among the telecommunications bureau's technicians. On her creatively

designed webpage, Xiaomei beautifully recreated the scenery of her hometown, accompanied by enchanting landscape

photos , filling those who had never been to Jiangnan with longing. Furthermore, in the "Growth Journey" section, she

sincerely described her thoughts and comments.

In her self-introduction, she wrote: "I have fallen deeply in love with someone. I don't care that he has a

family that lacks warmth and harmony. He is not rich, he has no power, his expression is melancholy, and his heart is full of

loneliness . He is a very kind person with a heart that yearns for freedom... I feel very happy with him.

If I could, I would marry him and spend my life with him."

Seeing these words flowing from Xiaomei's heart, my eyes, which hadn't shed a tear in many years, welled up with tears.

In the department I was in charge of,

the were on full display. Having long been accustomed to the intrigue, I had also been tempered into being stoic and hardened over the years

. At work, I was stern and composed, able to steadily and rationally manage

the relationships between subordinates and superiors. Apart from a few relatively honest female colleagues, I left several older, more seasoned

colleagues helpless yet somewhat convinced. Over the years, in my twenties, I had a very aged mentality and

appeared very mature to outsiders.

A philosopher once said that the root of all evil in the world is the secretion of male hormones.

For a long time, only during the rare moments of eating, drinking, and having fun with Afei could I let down

my guard and express my true feelings in a relatively relaxed manner.

The sexual games I played with women from all over the country in those resorts, vacation houses, and other brothels were simply to satisfy my lust. It was all just playing along, each with their own agenda; there was no

spiritual exchange, only the need for carnal desire. The emptiness I felt afterward filled me with weariness.

But this kind of life had to continue.

This continued until I met Xiaomei.

Xiaomei's sunny smile and sweet body dispelled the darkness in my heart and brought me a completely new excitement.

Those were the only truly happy days of my life, I assert.

I tried to resist my current marriage, but my wife's disdain and my father's harsh rebuke completely

made me abandon the idea of divorce. I felt very weak.

Life was like a rape; I was powerless to resist and unable to enjoy it, only able to endure it.

I still clearly remember the moment he decided to break up with Xiaomei. It felt like

a , and that pain lingered in my fragile nerves for a long time.

Whenever I recall the happiness I shared with Xiaomei, a dull ache rises in my chest. Especially when I

imagine Xiaomei with another man, an overwhelming pain washes over me, making it

hard breathe.

Because I love you, I chose to leave. I'd give anything for your well-being! Except for marriage, I

can't give you that. So I can't be so selfish as to stay with you, Xiaomei, do you understand?

I know that time can heal all wounds, and I hope Xiaomei can

get through , choose the most suitable boy among her many suitors, and have a bright future.

I pray deeply for Xiaomei in my heart.

Now I especially love listening to that old song, "Rolling Red Dust": At first, you were unintentional, and

I, a naive young man, were bound by fate in this mortal world. Our love was only because of the fleeting

nature All of my life's possessions would be exchanged for a fleeting moment of yin and yang. Easy to come, hard to go; decades of wandering in this world; easy

to part, hard to reunite; the eternal sorrow of love and hate. My heart, which should have belonged to you, still protects my chest, all for the sake of

the ever-changing the hands that manipulate and control. Easy to come, hard to go; decades of wandering in this world; easy to part, hard to reunite;

the eternal sorrow of love and hate…

(Sixth Grade, First Semester)

Alone Sitting by the roadside, letting the fallen leaves scratch my weary face, I recalled the past, longing that often accompanied me. I

lay awake under the moon, reminiscing about our days of love, so tender and intertwined. The same heart, the same sorrow, her tears—that was my

declaration of heartbreak

. —From the poem "The Day of Parting."

Love is a double-edged sword; if used poorly, it will wound you. This emotional pain can linger in

memory, unexpectedly

triggered , once again severely striking your spirit and will, inescapable.

That noon, the sky, shrouded in a light drizzle, was as gloomy as my mood.

After a night of agonizing thought, having smoked three packs of premium cigarettes, with disheveled hair, red eyes, and

a pale face, I drove my rickshaw from the city center, along the Third Ring Road, past the Golden Coast, and slowly stopped in front of Xiaomei's

building in the development zone.

I finally made the difficult decision to break up with Xiaomei.

As I walked up the stairs, pondering how to tell Xiaomei, my newly bought 40-chord color screen

phone suddenly rang. Seeing Xiaomei's number, my heart tightened; something must be wrong,

because Xiaomei never called me, always leaving messages on QQ.

I answered, "Hi, baby, it's me, what's up?"

"Tell me where you are?" Xiaomei asked anxiously on the phone.

"I'm outside your door," I said.

Xiaomei, who had just heard my footsteps coming up the stairs, immediately opened the door, giving me a reproachful smile.

"What's the matter, so mysterious?"

"You're going to win the lottery!" Xiaomei wrapped her arms around my neck, tilting her head and pouting.

"What? What did you say?" I asked, confused.

"You're going to be a father! Congratulations to my precious Director Zeng!" Xiaomei drawled, turning to sit on

the sofa , waiting to see my reaction.

"Ah—how could this be?" My head spun instantly. "Didn't you take Yuting that day?"

Xiaomei and I never use condoms when we have sex; I don't like the feeling of having sex with a condom.

We either use Xiaomei's safe period or the withdrawal method. But last weekend, after a passionate encounter,

in those few seconds of climax, the immense pleasure made me forget the danger, and I ejaculated all at once.

Afterwards, I went to the pharmacy and bought emergency contraception—Yuting. "You still say that? Who knows what kind of lousy drug that is? It doesn't even have a production date!" Xiaomei pinched my arm

hard , glaring at me with her beautiful big eyes. "I only found out just now when I checked." 　　Could the drug be fake? I slapped my head. "Damn it, that damn pharmacy!" I cursed viciously . 　　"That's awful, you even swore!" Xiaomei pinched me hard again. When I played with Xiaomei, whenever I annoyed her, she would stretch out her tender, lotus-root-like arms, surrounding me from all sides, chasing me all over the room. After a little punishment, Xiaomei proudly said that her "36-Six Divine Pinch Technique" was something she had slowly learned from her mother since she was little, and it was incredibly powerful. 　　Time always flew by when I was with Xiaomei. 　　What should I do now? My plans were completely disrupted, and I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to Xiaomei . 　　(The following lines are a poem): " 　　How many tears, broken face and horizontal chin. 　　Do not speak of your heart's secrets with tears, do not let the phoenix flute blow when tears are flowing, for there is no doubt that your heart will break!" ------Li Yu, "Looking South of the Yangtze River" 　　There was no other way but to grit my teeth and drive Xiaomei to the city hospital forty kilometers away. The new guy in the office Xiao Song, is very good at getting things done . To please me, he had his uncle, who owns a car repair shop, install a car stereo system for Xiaomei, making the otherwise ordinary Xiaomei seem quite novel to drive. 　　Listening to Yang Kun's album. I remained silent the entire way, one hand on the steering wheel, the other constantly smoking. 　　Seeing my furrowed brow, Xiaomei, who had been somewhat depressed, felt a pang of sympathy and shook my arm. "Hao, don't be sad!" 　　Forcing a smile, I turned to look at Xiaomei, who seemed a little thinner lately. "I'm fine, sweetie!" 　　"Then give me a smile," Xiaomei persisted. 　　Looking at Xiaomei's delicate features, I felt a mix of emotions. Suddenly, Zhao Chuan's song came to mind: " How can I not be sad? You advised me to extinguish the fire in my heart..." 　　At the hospital, I registered at the obstetrics and gynecology department and quickly had a pregnancy test. When I showed the doctor the pregnancy , the round-faced, plump doctor said kindly, "Congratulations, congratulations, your wife is pregnant." Having already prepared myself, my face darkened even more. 　　Back in the city, I asked a few friends for help and quickly obtained clomiphene, a medication that could solve the problem. As I poured water to feed Xiaomei, she softly said, "Hao, I really want your baby ." In that instant, my heart ached. 　　For the next two days, I bought red dates, brown sugar, and some fruit at the supermarket downstairs, but I could only come to be with Xiaomei during the daytime while I was at work. When Xiaomei, pale-faced and clutching her stomach in pain, cried, my heart ached so much I wanted to strangle myself. 　　I knew that this relationship would leave him indebted to Xiaomei for the rest of his life… 　　Finally, on a Sunday after Xiaomei recovered, I cruelly told her of my decision to break up. 　　Looking at Xiaomei's sad, confused, and sorrowful eyes, I finally understood what heartbreak truly meant! 　　At a bar I frequented, I drank a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's without throwing up. The next morning , I found my cough was streaked with blood. 　　But I felt no physical pain whatsoever. 　　VII. 　　Not all dreams can be realized, not all words can be told. Regret will always be deeply rooted in the heart after parting. Although they say that everything in this world will eventually come to nothing, I did not intend to miss it, but I have been doing it all along. Missing the blossoming yesterday, I will miss today again. Today, I will repeat the same parting . We will be strangers for the rest of our lives. A thousand miles away, I bow deeply to you in the twilight. Please take care of yourself. Although they say that everything in this world will eventually come to nothing. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　--- Xi Murong, "Farewell" 　　Half a year has passed in the blink of an eye. In the desolate autumn when the autumn wind blows on the Wei River and fallen leaves cover Chang'an, Xiaomei resigned from the telecommunications bureau and left this ancient city, taking with her those beautiful memories. 　　When Xiaomei left, she dialed my cell phone. We held the phone, but remained silent for a long time. I found that at this moment, any words were pale. The moment Xiaomei hung up the phone, I rushed out of the office , ran down the stairs, and stood on the bustling street, looking around blankly. The autumn sun cast my shadow obliquely onto the billboard behind me, beneath which several stalls selling cold noodles were loudly hawking their wares. 　　Eight 　　. Neither flower nor mist before my eyes, a scene of delicate spring. 　　A faint smile, a slight frown, I regret seeing her through the curtain. 　　I earnestly ask where her home is, Not in this mortal world. 　　If she were a morning cloud, she would be the one in my dreams tonight. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　-------Yan Jidao, "Picking Mulberry Leaves" 　　... 　　Xiaomei is gone, never to be heard from again. Her phone number has changed, her QQ profile picture is never lit, and she shows no sign of being online on MSN. Even if I heard from Xiaomei again, I know that without changing his family situation, he would never, and has no right to, face the girl he loves so dearly, the girl he can't bear to hurt. 　　I carefully and diligently preserve the story of Xiaomei in my memory, and regarding love, I believe I am heartbroken. 　　I drove my car to work this morning. After greeting everyone, as usual, I first brewed a cup of new tea from southern Shaanxi. While brewing the tea, without looking up, I asked Zhang Jie, "Zhang Jie, how's the revised draft of the employee salary assessment method coming along?" 　　The woman I politely called "Zhang Jie," who was nearly forty, was a long-time employee in the office. She was very attentive and responsible, and also had extensive experience in the intricacies of office work. In public...

She never asked about or spoke of anything sensitive within the company. Only when no one else was in the office would she

occasionally offer me serious suggestions, suggestions that Zeng Hao, whose sharp edges hadn't yet been fully smoothed out, would often

overlook. Because of this, I was secretly grateful to Zhang Jie and privately called her "Sister Zhang," while also showing her full respect in

front of .

"Director Zeng, following your instructions, I've made some minor additions. I'll show them to you right away," Zhang Jie

said. Soon, the HP network laser printer began its warm-up process.

Hearing my conversation with Zhang Jie, those who had grudges against me at work quickly glanced

at the few sheets of paper I had just printed, secretly gloating. "Let's see what you

do now!" they thought.

Last week, a deputy director surnamed Zhu from the former Development Department of the provincial branch was transferred to take charge of the work. As the saying goes,

a new broom sweeps clean, and to address some of the shortcomings of the new salary distribution model, the incumbent branch manager, Zhu,

first wanted to reform the salary assessment system. The general principle was

distribution according to work, with different tiers. Existing departments and positions were divided into five tiers based on administrative rank, workload, risk level, and working hours. Different

tiers had different base salaries, performance-based salaries, and position allowances.

As a result, according to the spirit of the initial assessment method, most employees accustomed to a "iron rice bowl" system

would see their monthly salaries halved. Middle-level managers and frontline staff would see a slight increase.

The biggest difference was that the income of several branch leaders more than doubled.

Everyone was very unhappy, and there were heated arguments and insults among the staff. These days, many eyes are

watching the progress of this matter, and the office work has become the focus.

However, I feel no pressure. On the surface, he seems very anxious about this, but in private, he

subtly indicates that he will fight for everyone's interests. I knew perfectly well that the development department of the provincial branch was a powerless

bureaucracy, and the intentions of the instigator, Director Zhu, were crystal clear. If I followed the leader's wishes, I would inevitably

offend everyone; if I followed everyone's wishes, the newly arrived Director Zhu would be extremely dissatisfied, which

would be even more detrimental to my own career.

After quickly flipping through Zhang Jie's revised draft of the assessment method, I said, "Here's what we'll do: send

a copy of this draft to each department, ask each section chief to organize everyone to study it, and submit their specific opinions by 2:00 PM the day after tomorrow

. We'll then summarize everyone's opinions and submit it to the administrative meeting next Monday for discussion. Please let the leadership decide."

Working in the office requires learning to practice Tai Chi; the ebb and flow are skillful, and the balance of lightness and heaviness is imbued with

ancient Chinese philosophy. A skilled practitioner can control their strength perfectly, pushing others around in circles

without hurting themselves.

After drinking two rounds of tea, the color of the Maojian tea, initially bright green, had gradually faded considerably. I had just

finished reading today's newspaper, stretched, and sat in my comfortable office chair, which wobbled slightly. I was

wondering if I should go drinking with Afei tonight; it had been a long time since I'd had a good time with my buddies since Xiaomei

left .

The phone rang, and Xiao Song, the guy who installed the sound system for the branch, answered eagerly. "What? Clients

are arguing ? Hold on a minute."

Hearing Xiao Song's voice, I quickly waved my hand, signaling him to hand me the phone. "Hey, don't

rush , take your time," I said, trying to keep a calm tone.

...

"There's a small dispute at the Yan'an Road branch. I'll go check it out. Just keep an eye on things in the office." I picked up

the branch's keys and called to Zhang Jie.

These days, whenever something happens, I want to escape the dull office, drive to a quiet

roadside, listen to music, feel the sunshine, and let my thoughts wander freely.

Soon, I arrived at the Yan'an Road branch, a subsidiary of the bank. I strode into the service hall and saw

the beautiful branch manager, Gu Siyu, explaining something to two customers who were clearly from out of town on the sofa in the corner.

Seeing me enter, Gu Siyu was overjoyed, blinked her eyes (which always gave me headaches), stood

up, and introduced me to the customers, saying, "Our computer expert is here! This makes things much easier."

After some questioning, I quickly understood that the two customers were tourists from Haikou, but they couldn't withdraw money from the ATM using

their Peony cards. Coupled with their impatient nature, this

led to a dispute.

I patiently explained to the customers that the inability to withdraw money could be

due to a delay in the Haikou terminal's database response, or network issues at the moment of the transaction. After asking Gu

Siyu, I learned that the branch's terminals had been slow to respond during transactions that day. I roughly understood

the root cause: the overcast and humid weather had caused

instability .

After I asked the data center technicians to measure the loop resistance, I restarted the branch's communication port. Communication

returned to normal, and the two tourists from Haikou were able to withdraw cash smoothly from the ATM. Watching

me, with an apologetic expression, politely see the two customers out of the branch,

Gu Siyu, who was only thirty years old but had already been the director of the Yan'an Road branch for three years, felt a great sense of relief.

Gu Siyu graduated from the Central Financial Institute, directly under the People's Bank of China, and was the most beautiful girl in her finance department.

Because her boyfriend lived in the city, Gu Siyu gave up a potentially good opportunity to stay in Beijing and returned

to work in her hometown.

I heard that Gu Siyu's husband owned a promising book import and export company in the city.

I also heard that Gu Siyu's husband was very busy with business, and Gu Siyu often invited her female colleagues from

work to her home on weekends.

After working together for several years, I've discovered that Gu Siyu is not only a beautiful woman, but also a very thoughtful

one. I've read several of

her papers , and I greatly admire her sharp analysis of the current financial situation and her fluent and elegant writing style.

Gu Siyu, with her enviable figure, is about 1.66 meters tall and always dresses impeccably,

presenting a stylish yet sophisticated way. She has expressive eyes with long, slightly upturned eyelashes

that are captivating and alluring. Every gesture she makes exudes

charm .

At work, Gu Siyu, being only a few years older than me, loved to joke with me. Several times, I, usually quite witty in

front of was left blushing from Gu Siyu's sharp retorts. Zeng Hao always had

a strange, indescribable feeling towards Gu Siyu.

Watching me walk back, car keys dangling in my hand, serious yet dashing, Gu Siyu smiled brightly

and drawled, "Little Hao, thank you so much!"

Gazing into Gu Siyu's subtle eyes, my heart pounded. A long-lost, slightly aching feeling rose from

my lower abdomen . My gaze quickly swept down Gu Siyu's delicate and beautiful face, and

the full curves beneath her dark blue business suit. I noticed a uniquely styled gold necklace around her neck, perfectly complementing

her snow-white, slender neck. A surge of attraction washed over me, and I couldn't help but imagine a naked Gu Siyu moaning

softly .

Actually, I understand very well that in the same workplace, a slightly mishandled ambiguous relationship between a man and a woman can lead to disaster.

Many people have ruined their reputations because of it, and I don't want to destroy my promising future. Therefore, I've

always reminded myself, whether it's guerrilla warfare or positional warfare, to adhere to

the principle of "not touching the grass near one's own burrow.

" "How will you thank me?" I smiled slightly, my gaze no longer hesitant, looking directly into Gu Siyu's eyes.

"Whatever you say." Seemingly sensing the subtle change in my eyes, Gu Siyu

's smile flickered even more clearly.

"Wild bitch," those two vulgar yet satisfying words flashed through my mind in an instant, although

the word "vulgar" had absolutely nothing to do with the elegant Gu Siyu.

Our eyes met for almost a minute. Seeing Gu Siyu's confident and determined attitude, determined to see the battle through, my gaze finally wavered and crumbled,

fearing the attention of my colleagues at the counter . 　　"Hehe, hehe, you win, I'm scared, okay?" I laughed awkwardly, feigning surrender, and lifted my foot to step onto the stairs leading to the business hall. Gu Siyu, still unsatisfied with her victory, stood to the left of the glass door, hands in front of her chest, showing no intention of moving aside, leaving only a narrow gap. 　　"Let me through, okay?" I said. 　　"Sure, no one's stopping you." Gu Siyu showed no intention of giving way. 　　Gritting my teeth, I stepped forward with my right foot, almost brushing against Gu Siyu's body as I entered the doorway. The instant I passed through the doorway, I heard Gu Siyu's breathing become slightly rapid, smelled a very pleasant perfume, and saw her slightly flushed face and half-open bright red lips. I felt a stirring within me. 　　Nine . 　　The disarray of the human heart has two forms: one is lethargy, the other is restlessness. 　　Drowsiness is wasting time in a daze; idleness dissipates energy, leading to lethargy, laziness, drowsiness, and a lack of diligence … 　　Instability is a restless mind, fickle thoughts, constant wavering, floating and sinking, turbulence, indulgence, and an inability to find peace… 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　------Master Cheng Yen's Jing Si Aphorisms 　　The next afternoon, the provincial bank suddenly announced in a top-secret internal document that the national deposit interest rate was about to be lowered . Under the personal supervision of President Zhu, an emergency meeting was held in the conference room at 8 pm to discuss and arrange the specific matters concerning the next day's business. As a middle-level manager, Gu Siyu and I both attended the meeting. 　　After the meeting, as seven or eight people walked out of the elevator chatting and laughing and arrived at the building lobby, I noticed a tall, well-dressed man casually browsing something under the bulletin board on the first floor. 　　He turned around after hearing everyone talking, smiling at Gu Siyu. Seeing Gu Siyu rushing forward and acting like a little bird , I quickly concluded that this guy must be Gu Siyu's husband. 　　"Little Gu, why don't you introduce this handsome guy to everyone?" the other two female section chiefs teased, while the others stood by. 　　Hearing their banter, Gu Siyu, her face beaming with happiness, turned around and introduced, "This is my husband Kong Junjie, and this is..." 　　"This is Director Zeng from our bank's office," Gu Siyu said calmly, a flicker of something passing through her eyes as she glanced at my somewhat forlorn expression. She carried a stylish handbag. 　　"Hello!" The handsome Kong Junjie extended his hand. 　　"Hello, brother, you truly live up to your name!" Out of politeness, I smiled and extended my hand in return. 　　"You're too kind, brother, haha!" Kong Junjie, dressed in a boss-style casual outfit, laughed, his eyes sharply scrutinizing me. 　　At the moment I shook hands with Gu Siyu's husband, for some reason, both of us used a bit of force. 　　"Haha, interesting, two handsome men shaking hands," Old Xiao, the older head of the branch's security department who knew Kong Junjie, came over and greeted us warmly. 　　After exchanging pleasantries with everyone for a while, Kong Junjie opened the door 　　, attentively helping Gu Siyu into the car. He smiled and waved to everyone before driving away with a flourish. 　　Watching the silver car gradually disappear from sight, and recalling Gu Siyu's appearance at the Yan'an Road branch yesterday, I, who am usually so composed, stood alone by the roadside, feeling as if in a dream. Suddenly, my heart was in turmoil , and a very uncomfortable feeling welled up inside me. 　　Sitting inside the car, I took out a Zippo cigarette, lit it, and took a couple of deep drags. I couldn't help but utter the curse that had been lingering in my heart for so long in the local dialect, "You son of a bitch, I'll call your mother 'sister-in-law'!" 　　Ten. 　　Drunkenly drifting in a light boat, the current leads to the depths of the flowers. 　　Worldly ties have led me astray, with no way to stay among the flowers. 　　The misty waters stretch endlessly, the setting sun casting its last rays for a thousand miles. 　　Countless mountains, fallen petals like rain, I have forgotten the way I came. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　------Qin Guan's "To the Tune of Dian Jiang Chun" 　　For a long time, I've considered myself a rather broad-minded man, capable of tolerating many things. 　　Looking at those ordinary people who fuss and argue over trivial matters, though I outwardly show them respect, inwardly I despise them. 　　In truth, everything has flaws, and people are no exception. One can be lenient about things that are unimportant to oneself.

A laugh and it's all over. But when things change, who can remain unmoved and composed , even if they've strived for them and cherished them?

That's why the sages said, "Without desire, one is invincible."

Without desire, there are no weaknesses, only composure and strength.

Today I understand that my greater magnanimity compared to others stems from the fact that nothing has yet touched my sore spot

, while Gu Siyu, unintentionally and subtly, has wounded me, disrupting my almost

perfected state of mind.

Gu Siyu became my weakness because I harbored a vague

need . This vague need is my weakness.

I'm dismayed to discover that I'm truly a lustful person. My

skills

possessed considerable skill.

I realized I was jealous of Kong Junjie, perhaps because of the alluring Gu Siyu, perhaps because of the movie

"Nison's Style," perhaps because... In short, I felt a strange sense of frustration, a feeling I

hadn't experienced in years.

To find peace, I needed to accept Gu Siyu with indifference and treat her the same as everyone else.

After dissecting the dark side of my soul, I felt much lighter. I lit a cigarette, mocking

myself, and felt a sense of peace.

But this peace didn't last. A few days later, Gu Siyu stirred things up again.

It was at a company party. Everyone was in high spirits after the meal. They turned on

the colored lights in the meeting room and played dance music. A chubby girl, fresh out of college and just starting her job,

sang the popular song "Wildflower" with great enthusiasm. Her voice was surprisingly good, almost on par with the original singer, winning

rounds of applause. Listening to the lyrical songs, some men and women, usually stressed at work, couldn't help but

break into dance, quickly creating a rather romantic atmosphere.

Gu Siyu wore a pure black halter-neck mini-dress that accentuated her curvaceous figure. She wore

a light purple short-sleeved top over it and simple sandals. Her long, flowing hair was unusually styled in an updo,

tied back. She exuded her usual sexiness amidst a clean and capable look. Standing at the door with several other female colleagues, she smiled and

watched their performance, seemingly eager to join in.

A few seasoned veterans from the company gathered in a circle on the sofa in the corner of the conference room, exchanging dirty jokes

and occasionally letting out knowing, explicit laughter, with cigarette smoke billowing above their heads. I grew up in the countryside, lacking both talent and interest in dancing. I just joined the group

listening to dirty jokes , occasionally stealing glances at Gu Siyu standing by the door. My gaze would occasionally sweep over her slender waist and the outline of her high breasts beneath her white neck. In that fleeting glance, I felt a liquid surging within . 　　"Damn it! Overcoming this weakness is too hard! No wonder that Immortal Master Pang Ban had to cultivate the ' Demon Seed in the Dao Heart' technique to break through the barrier and enter the immortal realm." My heart was pounding, and I was lost in my own thoughts. 　　... 　　"Hi, it's me." Turning around, I suddenly found Gu Siyu standing beside me, smiling generously at me, extending her round, slender hand, calling my name and making an invitation. 　　Seeing that the others weren't paying attention to me, I hurriedly put the half-smoked cigarette butt into the ashtray, grabbing Gu Siyu's hand and standing up without even stubbing it out. 　　Composing myself, I smiled calmly, took Gu Siyu's hand, and slowly began to walk the four steps he only knew. 　　Looking at Gu Siyu's smiling eyes, feeling the vibrant fragrance in my arms, I gently felt the warmth and elasticity . My mind slowly differentiated the elasticity I felt in her palm, "The subtle sensations in her hand are a function of this elasticity, and the curve, of course, the steeper the better." As I thought this , I swayed slowly to the music, quickly planning my next move. 　　Smelling the cigarette smoke on me, Gu Siyu smiled faintly, asking seductively, "What are you thinking about, Hao-di?" When no one else was around, Gu Siyu always called me that. 　　"I was imagining how beautiful you would be without your clothes on," I said bluntly, staring intently into Gu Siyu's blinking eyes . This style of unexpected and direct confrontation was exactly my forte. After speaking, seeing the panic in Gu Siyu's eyes, I tightened my right hand slightly to prevent her from turning on me and leaving, although I was certain she wouldn't. 　　"Aren't you going a bit too far?" Seeing my confident gaze, Gu Siyu, who usually had the upper hand, indeed panicked. 　　"You really don't know how crazy I'm going for you? Do you know how beautiful you are? What do you want from me ? Ah, Siyu?" I lowered my voice, feigning innocence and sincerity. My eyes revealed intense love, mixed with a deep sadness. This complex expression and directness were my secret weapon with girls, always effective. 　　"I know, I don't know..." Seeing how infatuated I was with her, Gu Siyu was confused. She was both happy and at a loss. 　　Looking at Gu Siyu's dazed eyes, as I pressed her hot body closer to me, I didn't forget to press her ample buttocks a few times with my right hand. Instantly, Gu Siyu lost her composure. 　　"Damn it, what a pity this is at work." I thought to myself, regretting missing a golden opportunity . 　　... 　　From that day on, at work, Gu Siyu never joked with me again, and her glances when we occasionally met held a new meaning. 　　XI. 　　"The pen writes of fleeting romances, and my eyes are filled with more and more children. 　　Someone asks me how things are? The sea of people is vast, and every day is turbulent. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　" ------ Yao Sui, "Joyful Spring" 　　Since developing this complicated and entangled relationship with Gu Siyu, I always felt a sense of loss and emptiness, making it difficult to maintain a calm and peaceful state of mind at work.

Since the last salary reform was ultimately thwarted by strong opposition, President Zhu's temper has

worsened . He's always wearing a long face, and the approachable smile he had when he first arrived is nowhere to be

seen. On several occasions, he's even publicly lashed out at several clerks and security guards over trivial matters.

President Zhu has subtly expressed his dissatisfaction with the office's work in several meetings, believing that the office

is not effectively implementing the bank leadership's instructions and that some tasks are not being carried out with sufficient effort. While President Zhu was speaking

, I knew very well that my relationship with my superior was already strained.

After the meeting, a middle manager who usually had a good relationship with me subtly hinted, "Buddy, be careful about things lately

."

"It's fine, whatever happens, happens!" I replied nonchalantly.

I knew in my heart that if I didn't immediately respond in some way, take some concrete

action to appease President Zhu's will, it wouldn't be long before this impatient president would find a way to remove me, this dull knife, and

find another weapon he was more comfortable with. However, I couldn't

really let alone flatter him or do anything against my conscience that would

prioritize departmental interests over the company's.

In the days that followed, I calmly waited to see what would happen.

One noon, Mr. Zhu came to my office, smiling broadly, and said, "Little Zeng, good news! The provincial branch is holding a training program for reserve cadres next

week in Hainan. This is a great opportunity. I think you

'd be suitable. Young people like you need to travel more. Ah, it's settled then. I'll treat you when you get back, haha

..."

Such opportunities for business trips were indeed rare in the branch's work, but I suspected this

wasn't so simple. Sure enough, after receiving the official notification from the provincial branch, I learned that the training would last for half a month

. "Half a month, haha, what will Mr. Zhu do in half a month?" I wondered.

Amidst the envious glances of my colleagues in the office, after promising to buy them Hainan

specialties like coconut candy and seashells, I smiled wryly and said goodbye, clutching my ticket to Haikou.

The recent frequent sandstorms were surprisingly clear on the day of my departure. The plane

soared smoothly into the clouds, and watching the leisurely drifting white clouds outside the cabin, I thought, "These days I really need to

relax. Let all that work stuff go to hell!"

I made up my mind to thoroughly enjoy Hainan Island's enchanting sea, snow-white beaches, and bright

sunshine…

Looking at the beautiful flight attendant in her blue skirt, my mood gradually improved. Staring at the

tall flight attendant with her oval face, Zeng Hao's gaze lingered on her ample bosom, finally settling on her shapely

legs clad in flesh-colored stockings… ( The following lines are a poem):

Spring

mountains, mist about to dissipate; sky pale, stars sparse. The waning moon shines on her face; parting tears fall at dawn.

Words are many, feelings unfulfilled; turning back, I say again: Remember the green silk skirt, everywhere tender grasses.

---Niu Xiji, "Sheng Chazi"

After a two-hour flight, I finally arrived at Haikou Airport. Carrying my simple luggage, Zeng Hao

followed the flow of people out of the airport.

Just as I stepped out of the side door of the waiting hall, the bright sunlight was a bit dazzling, a warm sea breeze rushed towards me,

a faint salty smell entered my nostrils, and the air was filled with humidity. Being my first time on Hainan Island, I quickly broke out

in a sweat. I thought to myself, "This is truly a natural sauna."

Outside the airport, some kind of tropical plant I didn't know stretched its leaves lushly in the sunlight,

tiny water droplets even clinging to their surfaces, rolling playfully with the movement of the leaves. Immersed in this humid air,

looking at the vibrant greenery, I suddenly couldn't help but sneeze a few times, thinking, "Am I already suffering from acclimatization problems

?"

Sitting in the Toyota Previa minivan, looking at the towering coconut trees on both sides of the road, I, who love making friends,

chatted casually with my driver, Lao Huang, about Hainan's economy, culture, and history, and we got along very well.

Old Huang, who had never been to Shaanxi, was filled with longing for Xi'an and kept asking about its situation.

I discovered that Old Huang, the driver, was quite remarkable; he had excellent communication skills and, in just a few words,

sketched out the overall situation in Hainan. I soon learned that Old Huang was a senior

staff member in the General Affairs Department of the Hainan branch, responsible for the specific arrangements of this training. Old Huang was in his early forties and, due to his age, had missed

the opportunity to be promoted to deputy director. He was quite dissatisfied with his work, but couldn't show it in Haikou. This coincided perfectly with

my own dissatisfaction with my job, and we hit it off immediately, feeling like kindred spirits.

Old Huang told me that Hainan's economy had been declining for the past two years, with sluggish consumption, and the aftereffects of the real estate boom of previous years

had not yet subsided. However, the tourism and entertainment industries were still showing some signs of improvement.

Young women from all over the country filled hotels, dance halls, and even the streets, slowly turning Hainan into a paradise for men. In order to

attract more domestic and foreign tourists and create new economic growth points,

the government , had to turn a blind eye.

"Hey bro, I'll take you out for some fun tonight. Which place has the girls you like, bro?" Old Huang, gripping the steering wheel,

turned to me and said enthusiastically.

"Hehe, thanks bro, but... never mind, we'll talk about it later." I felt a little unwell

, my head spinning.

"What, a young man can't be without bullets? Haha..." Old Huang teased.

While joking with Old Huang, I kept looking out the window at the scenery. Under the blue sky, beside the green

coconut palms , some cleverly designed, massive, unfinished buildings kept popping into view, forming

a peculiar and bizarre landscape in Haikou. I felt it was a real eyesore, but also a pity.

Over the next two days in Haikou, as someone who grew up in the north, I indeed experienced symptoms of acclimatization sickness.

It wasn't quite a cold, but after taking some stomach medicine that Old Huang brought, I quickly recovered and began to

adapt to the subtropical climate of Hainan Island.

After two days of classes, I was already quite bored. Those

empty were utterly tedious. Lying on the bed in the training center, I had this thought running through my mind: why not go to Sanya for a visit?

After telling Lao Huang my thoughts, the very loyal Lao Huang immediately made arrangements, politely saying to me,

"The training course isn't finished yet, and I have to look after other trainees, so I can't go with you. I

can only send someone to take you to Sanya. You'll have to enjoy yourself in Sanya by yourself. Don't worry about the training course here. I'll send your return

ticket , and you can return directly from Sanya."

I missed the warm-hearted and loyal Lao Huang very much, and had been hoping that he would come to the Northwest on a business trip, giving me a

chance to repay his favor. However, since I returned from Sanya, I hadn't seen him except for hearing his cheerful laughter a few times on the phone

.

When I arrived at the Yalong Bay Kailai Hotel, where Lao Huang had booked a room, it was already evening. Cheerful

music was playing in the hotel lobby, and some tourists were dressed in brightly colored island clothing, holding green coconuts in their hands, creating a comfortable

and relaxed atmosphere.

Entering the room, I opened the balcony door, and a fresh sea breeze greeted me. Standing on the balcony of the hotel's highest floor

, looking down at the swaying coconut palms, the waves lapping the shore, and the twinkling lights of fishing boats,

I truly relaxed as I gazed at the beautiful night view of Yalong Bay, enjoying my solitude.

Late at night, after a shower, I casually put on a cigarette, wore shorts, and walked barefoot out of the hotel to

the beach . The sea under the night sky was solemn and mysterious. Watching the ebb and flow of the tide, a sense of emotion welled up within me,

spreading gradually, and my previously somewhat melancholy mood became calm and serene. The

silvery moonlight enveloped the tranquil Yalong Bay, the deep blue sky dotted with countless stars, and the waves

gently lapped at the sand.

Sitting on the beach, facing the sea breeze, listening to the rhythmic sound of the waves, I felt the hard shell that had formed in my city life

slowly peeling away…

In the morning, drawing back the curtains of the floor-to-ceiling windows, I was greeted by the clear, azure waters of Yalong Bay—

a vast expanse of blue sky and sea merging seamlessly. Turning my head, I saw vast grasslands, lush coconut groves, and rolling green

hills—everything seemed so relaxed and free.

Lying on a lounge chair on the balcony, facing the sea, I turned on my portable CD player and listened to Richard

Clyde light piano music. Sometimes I glanced up at the azure water, sometimes I looked down at the children playing in the pool.

That's how I spent a leisurely afternoon.

I had never experienced such a peaceful and warm feeling before, and I couldn't help but think, "With such a wonderful place,

why bother with classes? Those students are so boring."

After dinner, I decided to go swimming. Wearing only my swimming trunks and a large white towel, I arrived at the

emerald green pool. Under the lights, the shallow end was almost crystal clear. There weren't many swimmers in the evening,

and the pool was very quiet. I put the towel on the lounge chair, looked up at the starry sky, put on my goggles,

stretched a few times, and slowly sank into the water, feeling the refreshing lake water against my skin.

I felt incredibly content.

Taking a deep breath, I submerged and swam almost parallel to the bottom. Magnified by my goggles,

I suddenly noticed two beautiful, shapely, white legs slowly moving in front of me to my left, and I was instantly

aroused.

I quickly swam towards the girl with those legs. As I approached, I noticed

she was wearing a light yellow swimsuit—a very sexy backless style that accentuated her beautiful curves.

Judging from her swimming movements, she had probably only recently learned the breaststroke. I held my breath, trying to keep up

with her slow movements, admiring her legs up close before my lungs ran out of oxygen. I could

even clearly see the fine downy hairs on her legs.

Because of the close proximity, just as I was reveling in the thrill of voyeurism, the

girl suddenly kicked me in the face.

I heard her scream and nearly swallowed a mouthful of water. I

quickly exhaled and paddled to the surface.

Having held my breath for so long, as soon as I surfaced, I gasped for air and noticed that right

beside me, less than half a meter away, was a beautiful girl in a light yellow swimsuit

staring , a mixture of nervousness and curiosity in them.

"Flowers bright, moon dim, shrouded in light mist, tonight I'll go to my lover's side. I'll remove

my socks and step onto the fragrant steps, carrying my golden-embroidered shoes.

I'll meet her on the south side of the painted hall, trembling as I lean against her.

It's so hard for me to come out, let my lover cherish me as he pleases.

" ------Li Yu, "Bodhisattva's Charm"

"Who are you?" the girl in the yellow swimsuit asked. Her voice was very pleasant.

"You're so beautiful!" I looked at this girl, who looked to be in her early twenties, and remembering

how close I'd been underwater, my nose was practically touching her bottom. I suppressed a laugh and gave a non-sequitur.

"Really? Thank you. Were you in the water just now? I think I bumped into you?" Hearing me say she

was beautiful, the girl was clearly pleased.

"You bumped into me? You practically kicked me hard! Your 'Shadowless Kick' is amazing, silent and

unpredictable, it sent me flying from the bottom of the water to the surface in one kick, almost making a fool of myself, a master swimmer like me! Humph!"

I complained, but my eyes were full of laughter.

"Haha, sorry, you're really funny. What 'Shadowless Kick'? I just learned to swim, if I offended you,

it was purely unintentional." The girl splashed water with her hands, looking at me with a bright smile.

"Alright, since you didn't mean any offense, I, Old Zeng, will forgive you. By the way, my name

is Zeng Guofan, Zeng, and the 'vast grace of the emperor.' It's a pleasure to meet you!" I looked around; no one was paying attention to my

conversation with the girl .

"Hello, my name is Wang Rong, it's a pleasure to meet you!" The girl clearly liked me.

"Rong'er, where are you from? Why are you swimming here alone?" I quickly probed Wang Rong's

background.

"Hehe, you call me Rong'er, but I won't call you Brother Jing. I won't tell you where I'm from unless

you can guess." Wang Rong kept me in suspense.

"Well, hehe, that's easy for me." Actually, I had no clue at all. Judging from her accent,

Wang Rong spoke standard Mandarin. Looking at her appearance, I suddenly felt that Wang Rong's mouth had some distinctive features, and it

seemed familiar. It looked a bit like a female colleague from Chengdu that I had met when I was on a business trip to Beijing.

"You're from Chengdu! Right?" After a brief moment of thought, inspiration struck, and I looked at Wang Rong and

said, word by word.

Seeing the surprise in Wang Rong's eyes, I knew I had guessed correctly, and I felt secretly pleased with myself.

Chengdu girls' mouths do indeed have very distinctive features, features that are difficult to describe in words, only to be slowly

understood. I had once again verified the correctness of my experience.

"You're so amazing! Tell me, how did you guess? Please tell me, I want to know."

Wang Rong 's pretty face showed admiration.

"Haha, well, how can I reveal such a secret?" A faint smile played on my lips, slowly

whetting Wang Rong's appetite.

"Ugh—you're so annoying!" Wang Rong had already forgotten that she had only known me for less than five minutes, and

launched an attack by splashing water at me.

...

Soon, I became quite familiar with this lovely Wang Rong. Wang Rong told me that she was twenty-three years old this year,

a graduate of an art academy, and worked as a graphic editor at a newspaper in Chengdu. This time, she was using her vacation

to travel to Sanya with her sister and brother-in-law. Because my sister said she was tired, she came swimming alone.

...

"I have to go back to my room, it's getting late, okay?" Wang Rong glanced at the Casio watch on her wrist,

a little reluctant.

"Okay, get some rest tonight, you can only have fun if you sleep well." I felt very regretful, but forced a

show of concern.

Watching Wang Rong standing by the pool preparing to leave, I noticed that Wang Rong was about the same height as Gu Siyu,

about 1.65 meters, but I hadn't noticed in the water that Wang Rong's body was quite voluptuous,

especially her full hips swaying as she walked in her swimsuit, which was truly alluring and captivating.

"No wonder this girl said she once won the women's shot put championship at the art academy's sports meet, it seems it's true."

Watching Wang Rong turn around and wave goodbye to me, staring at her voluptuous body, I suppressed the naked desire

aroused , and reluctantly raised my hand to wave goodbye as well.

Back in my room, I stood on the balcony, suddenly feeling unbearably lonely, no longer feeling the leisure and

tranquility of the morning.

I simply took off my swim trunks and walked naked into the bathroom, intending to take a hot shower before going to bed.

Turning on the hot water tap, the high-pressure water splashed onto my bare head and body. For a moment, Zeng Hao

felt inexhaustible; even his little brother stood erect at an unusually high angle, hot and

firm .

"Do I really have to find a prostitute to solve this tonight?" I chuckled wryly, looking at my

already penis, and remembered the sweet voice on the massage call I'd been rejected from last night.

Just as I was considering whether to call a prostitute, the phone suddenly rang.

"Hey, Sanya is like Xi'an, it's so weird, whatever you want comes your way." I thought it was another

call for sex services.

"Hi! Is that me? It's Wang Rong." It was Wang Rong's voice on the other end.

"Yes, hello, still awake?" I picked up the phone, inwardly overjoyed, but outwardly calm.

I felt that dealing with someone like Wang Rong required a certain maturity.

"I couldn't sleep, so I called you. Hope I'm not bothering you?" Wang Rong said, drawing out her words.

"Sorry to bother you, not at all! It's been a pleasure chatting with you! Hehe, I can't sleep anyway." I checked

the time; it was already past eleven.

"The beach is very comfortable at night, have you been there?" Wang Rong asked.

"Really? No, I haven't." I denied having been to the private beach at the Kai'ai Hotel. Based on experience,

I felt there was definitely something going on between Wang Rong and me tonight.

"Want to go for a walk, now?" Wang Rong indeed extended an invitation.

"Sure, sure, with a beautiful woman by my side, the night will definitely be incredibly romantic." I gently flattered her on the phone

; no girl dislikes hearing that.

"Hehe, we'll meet again by the pool in fifteen minutes, don't be late." Wang Rong hung up

the phone.

Quickly putting on a thin Nike short-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of shorts, I hummed a little tune, tucked a pack of

premium liquor into my pocket, played with a Zippo lighter, and headed towards the elevator.

It was already very quiet downstairs; the dappled shadows of the trees appeared particularly hazy under the lights.

With light steps, I reached the deserted poolside in just two minutes. My left hand in

my pocket , I strolled slowly, took a drag of my cigarette, and looked up. Suddenly, I realized the night sky under the stars was indeed beautiful—

much more beautiful than when I returned to my room.

About twenty minutes passed, and I looked towards the hotel, but there was still no movement. A little anxious began to creep in.

"This girl, is she playing a trick on me?" I wondered.

Just as I was filled with doubt, Wang Rong's figure finally appeared slowly at the end of the path. Her elegant

gait was captivating.

As she approached, I noticed she had dressed meticulously. She wore a milky-white hair clip, her

short, glossy black hair reaching her ears. She wore a slightly tight-fitting black silk sleeveless top, highlighting the curves of her high,

firm breasts. Below, she wore a long yellow skirt with pleats. She stood gracefully,

a blush on her face, her bright eyes filled with shyness.

Facing Wang Rong, with her refined and elegant demeanor, I was somewhat stunned, caught off guard.

Looking at her pure and innocent eyes with extreme admiration, I, usually so eloquent, suddenly

felt I wanted to say something, yet didn't know where to begin.

"Unless it's your gentleness, I won't pursue anything else; unless you come with me, there's nothing else waiting. My nights

are longer than my days; don't leave me too soon. The world is already too lonely; I don't want to live like this. Let me love you enough, give you

everything. Let me love you enough, now and in the future. My love will no longer be silent. Hearing your call, my heart

rises and falls like a leaping fire. I forgot what

I once possessed, so I felt it was enough. Now I realize we've lost so much. Let me love you enough, give you everything. Let me love you enough, now and

in the future

..."—from the song "Let Me Love You Enough."

Seeing my embarrassment, Wang Rong spoke first, "Were you waiting anxiously? I'm a little late, but

we promised to meet."

"No, I just arrived a little while ago." I snapped out of my reverie and quickly replied.

"Look how beautiful the night is tonight!" Wang Rong said, hands behind her back, looking at the sky, her footsteps light and rhythmic

. Her clear voice, besides being pleasant to the quiet night, carried an indescribable allure.

"Yes, the night is beautiful, but only the two of us are quietly appreciating this beautiful night.

For the people living here, it's commonplace." I thought of Xi'an's perpetually gray skies; I

could hardly recall ever seeing twinkling stars.

"What you say is always full of philosophy. People are always picky about what they already have,

easily overlooking or even never seeing its beauty." Wang Rong turned her head to look at my flickering cigarette butt,

lost in thought.

"What we already have, overlooked, beautiful?" I murmured to myself, and for some reason,

my wife's image suddenly appeared in my mind. Had I been neglecting her all these years? Had I been criticizing her all along?

When had I ever cared about my wife's clothes? Her diet? Her interests? I only knew how to act impulsively according to my own personality

, almost never considering my wife's feelings.

At work, in front of others, I always unconsciously wear a mask. I'm

incredibly considerate of others at work, appearing humble and magnanimous, which has earned me everyone's approval and high

praise.

But why can't I be magnanimous and tolerant at home? I can tolerate outsiders, so why

can't I tolerate my own wife?

Is this just the inevitable part of life?

Remembering the hurt look in my wife's eyes during past arguments, my heart softens. Yes, although my wife and I have different

personalities , I've almost never backed down in our arguments, only

demanding and criticizing according to my own views. Families require sacrifice, but what have I sacrificed for my family? Women

need care, but how have I cared for my wife?

A strong sense of guilt washes over me. I'm thinking that I need to seriously reflect on myself when I get back to Xi'an.

"What are you thinking about? Why are you so silent?" As we walked, Wang Rong's arm almost

touched mine. In that brief moment of skin-to-skin contact, I looked up, put away my thoughts, and let out a long sigh

.

“I’m thinking about the taste of life. In real life, perhaps no one is without loneliness.” Gazing at the vast

starry sky , I suddenly seemed to understand something, and continued, “In the pursuit of money, power, beauty… people

are completely unaware of the meaning of their own existence. How can they not feel pain and loneliness?”

“Is the starry sky lonely? The eternal stars twinkle all over the sky, just existing, twinkling. Is it lonely

?”

“Only humans, with their fragile and short lives, lose themselves in the pursuit of external things,

and that’s why they feel lonely.”

I spoke fluently, pouring out all the thoughts that had been on my mind in that instant.

“You’re a sentimental person!” Wang Rong’s eyes clearly held affection.

“Silly girl, don’t look at me like that, something bad will happen!” On the quiet path leading to the beach,

looking at Wang Rong’s affectionate gaze, I felt a surge of happiness, a peaceful happiness. I couldn’t help but take

Wang Rong’s soft hand and said in a clearly teasing tone.

“Is that so? Then let something bad happen.” Wang Rong said shyly and softly. Feeling

the movement , Wang Rong could almost hear her own heartbeat.

Looking at Wang Rong's alluring posture, so invitingly offered, staring at her breasts rising and falling with her rapid breathing, my

earlier calm began to overwhelm me with passion. That burning fire within me gradually rose from my lower abdomen,

surging through my veins in waves. "

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, lest you break a bare branch." What to do tomorrow? How to face the future? These

thoughts lingered in my mind for a moment before quickly passing.

In our gaze, my eyes finally lost their pure, ethereal quality, beginning to flicker with intense desire.

With a slight tightening of my left hand, Wang Rong let out a soft cry and leaned into my burning embrace.

In this moment, any words were superfluous.

Holding Wang Rong's voluptuous body, my right hand encircled

her alluring, swaying buttocks, slowly savoring the

delicate elasticity of her skin through the pressure of my fingertips.

Wang Rong's breathing quickened, she twisted her body to hug me tighter, closed her eyes and raised her head, her rosy lips

slightly parted, her intoxicating breath brushing against my face.

I felt the little bird trapped inside my shorts seem ready to take flight.

Through the thin t-shirt, my chest fully felt the pressure of Wang Rong's full breasts, and with a slight

lowering of my head, our lips met.

For a moment, the world spun, everything around us vanished, and only the two of us remained passionately kissing under the night sky.

My mouth held Wang Rong's wet, sweet tongue, slowly sucking on it, while my right hand slipped from Wang Rong's waist

, stroking her smooth back, moving to the front, pushing up her bra, and covering her high, soft breasts.

With each of my movements, Wang Rong's nipples hardened, a shiver like an electric current running through her body.

"No, ah—no, not here..." Wang Rong murmured, her body weak.

Hearing Wang Rong's voice, I suppressed my burning desire, straightened her clothes, and said,

"Let's go back to the room." I then pulled the now limp Wang Rong towards the guest room.

Entering the lobby, ignoring the hotel staff's suggestive gazes, we stood in the ascending elevator, my arm around Wang Rong's

waist . The elevator felt incredibly slow.

When it stopped, ignoring the hotel's security cameras facing the elevator doors, I practically half-carried the

panting Wang Rong into the room, quickly closing the door with my heel.

Leaning against the door, our lips met again, and I frantically tore at Wang Rong's clothes, somehow managing

to rip off her already wrinkled top, her long skirt quickly falling onto the carpet. Unhooking Wang Rong's cumbersome plain-colored bra, I

bent slightly, my left hand caressing Wang Rong's bare, full buttocks, my right hand slipping under her left armpit, encircling her

smooth back, and I took her proudly erect, rosy nipple into my mouth.

As I suckled, Wang Rong moaned, her right leg lifted, and her upper body involuntarily stiffened and arched backward.

Due to the intense stimulation, Wang Rong, like me, became delirious and confused.

I picked her up and placed her on the bed. Looking at her sprawling body, I took off my own t-shirt and shorts;

the t-shirt was hanging so long it hurt my ears.

With my already extremely aroused erection, I

removed Wang Rong's last piece of clothing—a pair of small black panties—and tossed them behind me.

Wang Rong lay on the bed, her head tilted to the side, legs curled up, eyes closed.

Her strands of hair fell across her forehead, her face was flushed, and her teeth were slightly biting her lip.

Her naked, soft, white body rose and fell with her rapid breathing. Below her cute navel, a thick patch of pubic hair seemed to be damp,

glistening and shiny.

In that instant, the air was filled with the scent of lust.

Standing by the bed, I parted Wang Rong's legs, and a wet, overflowing expanse entered my lustful vision.

Holding Wang Rong's raised left leg, I leaned forward, arching my back, and placed my erect penis,

throbbing at the entrance of her slippery, warm, and moist opening, gently swaying it from side to side.

"Ah—um—" The intense stimulation from the friction of my probing penis made Wang Rong

unable to bear it any longer, and she cried out loudly.

Looking at the stimulating and decadent scene before me, I straightened my back and slowly entered Wang Rong's body.

Wang Rong's vagina was tight and hot.

I entered, went deeper, and twisted up and down and side to side.

The mattress shook, in sync with the swaying of Wang Rong's naked body.

I heard Wang Rong's excited moans in my ears. With each insertion and withdrawal, the large amount of sticky white fluid

secreted increased, hanging on her dark red labia and slowly flowing down.

The sheet under Wang Rong's buttocks had darkened considerably.

I squeezed Wang Rong's breasts, rhythmically thrusting my hips back and forth, feeling the heat and wetness

deep , and the squeezing pressure of the folds around it.

...

Finally, in peak condition, after a long thrusting session, the intense tingling sensation caused my penis to gradually lose control.

With the contraction of muscles and nerves, several thick streams of semen shot into the depths of

Wang Rong .

"Ah—" Feeling my obvious rhythm and the heat of my ejaculation, Wang Rong couldn't help but cry out

loudly .

I withdrew my limp penis, still standing by the bed. My legs gave way, and I lay on top of Wang Rong, burying my face in

her soft belly, my chin feeling the softness of her pubic hair.

The room returned to silence, except for the sounds of our breathing and heartbeats.

"Don't tell me what eternity is, I will perish in my most brilliant moment..."

In my almost numb mind, someone's song swept through.

**********

...

Gently pushing away Wang Rong, who was naked in my arms, I walked naked and carefree into the bathroom. After a hot shower, I slowly shaved my wildly growing beard and looked at myself in the mirror. 　　A night of almost tireless, continuous sex left my back slightly sore and my eyes dark, but my gaze was even brighter, possessing a unique depth and allure. I thought to myself, the feeling of complete self-indulgence is truly exhilarating; the thrill of drugs is probably no different. 　　In the following days, I experienced the most wild and unrestrained days of my life. Except for ordering food from the restaurant, I didn't leave the room with Wang Rong. 　　The most unforgettable feeling was at dusk, standing on the hotel balcony, looking at the distant sea and sky merging into one, holding Wang Rong's soft body, slowly entering her slippery depths from behind , feeling the refreshing sea breeze while experiencing the layers of her sensitive body, listening to her breath and soft moans. 　　Wang Rong's beauty and physical allure deeply captivated me. 　　Later 　　, as Wang Rong left Sanya, I also bought a plane ticket and flew back to Xi'an. On the return flight, I squinted, trying to rest, Wang Rong's pretty face flashing before my eyes. 　　The moment the plane landed at Xianyang Airport, my mind returned to reality. I had been so focused on my romantic getaway with Wang Rong that I hadn't thought once about work, the huge mess at the branch, or the delicate relationship with Branch Manager Zhu. My heart was filled with gloom, wondering what changes would occur when I returned to the bank. 　　But then I felt a sense of relief; even if hell lay ahead, I had already been to heaven.

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