Love and Desire [Complete] - 7

Love and Desire (44)

Chapter 42

Xu Hui arrived at school two days before the start of the semester. She brought with her the Suzhou-style candied fruit, honey-glazed tofu, and Caizhizhai candies that her mother had bought for Ouyang Yiming. She thought that Ouyang Yiming might not like these sweet foods, but her mother insisted on buying them and asked her to bring them.

She met Li Xuan as soon as she entered the school gate. The two hugged affectionately. Xu Hui asked her what she had come for. Li Xuan said that she had bought some daily necessities outside. Then she whispered in her ear, "Auntie's here."

The two laughed. After laughing, Li Xuan told her, "Ouyang came this morning." Xu Hui said, "Really? He's quite proactive." Li Xuan smiled and said, "I just missed you."

Xu Hui raised her hand and hit her, then giggled. Suddenly, as if she remembered something, she pulled Li Xuan to the side of the road, put down her bag, and said, "Do me a favor." Li Xuan said, "It must be about Ouyang." Xu Hui smiled and said, "I brought him some things, but I'm too embarrassed to give them to him." Li Xuan asked, "Food?" Xu Hui nodded.

Li Xuan asked, "Is there any for me?" Xu Hui replied, "Of course there's some for you." Li Xuan laughed, "If you don't let me help, there won't be any for me. I have to help because of all this good food." Xu Hui said, "When have I ever forgotten you?"

As she spoke, she pulled a small plastic bag out of a large bag. Li Xuan's eyes widened as she said, "My goodness, you're just letting me deliver it like this? People can see the contents of the bag from far away. Won't those gluttons snatch it on the way?" Xu Hui realized and nodded, "That's right." She then put the small bag back into the large bag. Looking up at Li Xuan, Xu Hui said, "Let's talk about it tonight." Li Xuan glared at her and asked, "Where's mine?" Xu Hui zipped up her large bag, stood up, and smiled, saying, "Yours is missing. It's in the bag; we'll take it together tonight." Li Xuan pouted and said, "You two are a couple after all. You'd be eager to give him what's his right now, but you insist on giving mine to him tonight." Xu Hui burst out laughing, raised her hand and punched Li Xuan, her face flushed, saying, "What couple? You can't say anything nice. Aren't you afraid someone will steal it if you carry it like that?" The two of them giggled.

As they walked towards the dormitory, Li Xuan said, "I saw Ouyang go out with a guy this morning; I don't know if he's back yet." Xu Hui asked, "What kind of guy?" Li Xuan said, "He's a man, not a woman. Look how nervous you are." Xu Hui glared at her and said, "When have I been nervous? I'm just talking nonsense." Li Xuan laughed.

Xu Hui knew Li Xuan was teasing her and cursed, "Damn it." Li Xuan stopped laughing and said, "He seemed to be a student, but not from our school. I saw him carrying luggage, and the two of them carried it out of the school gate. I saw him from afar, but I didn't say hello." Xu Hui nodded and said, "He might be from the same hometown as someone from medical school, but he might not be back now."

Li Xuan laughed, "Registration isn't until tomorrow, who knows where they'll be going to a brothel tonight." Xu Hui glanced at her, feeling a little unhappy. She didn't show it on her face, and said strangely,

"You can say anything." Li Xuan laughed. Xu Hui said, "Ask him tonight. If he comes, give it to him; if not, give it to him another day. He might come back very late or not at all." Li Xuan said, "I guess he won't be back until after dinner." Xu Hui nodded, then turned to her and asked, "Why are you back so early? What time did you arrive?" Li Xuan's face instantly fell. She lowered her head and remained silent for a moment, her expression a half-smile, then blushed unnaturally. She said, "I won't lie to you, I didn't go home."

Xu Hui was startled, stopped, and stared into her eyes, asking, "Why didn't you go home?" Li Xuan moved her lips but didn't speak, her eyes slightly moist. Xu Hui asked, "Don't you have enough money for the trip home?" Li Xuan smiled bitterly, shook her head, and said, "No, Gao Peng gave me two hundred yuan to send home." Xu Hui said, "Then you should go home too." Li Xuan sighed and said,

"Why would I go home? It would cost so much for the round trip. I might as well save some money and give it to my family so they can have a good New Year." Xu Hui looked at her with wide eyes and said, "But this is the New Year." Li Xuan said sadly, "The New Year isn't very meaningful for poor people."

Xu Hui's heart trembled, and she was silent for a while, not knowing what to feel. After a long pause, Xu Hui asked, "Where have you been instead of going home?" Li Xuan replied, "I went to work at a restaurant. It includes room and board and I earned a hundred yuan. Why would I go home? Isn't this better for both me and my family?" Xu Hui shook her head, sighed softly, and asked, "Does Gao Peng know you haven't gone home?" Li Xuan shook her head and said, "He doesn't know. I didn't tell him." She paused for a moment and then said, "But I did see him." Xu Hui frowned and asked, "If you saw him, how could he not know you hadn't gone back?" Li Xuan said,
"He didn't see me. Guess where I saw him, and who he was with?" Xu Hui shook her head.

Li Xuan said, "On the first day of the Lunar New Year, the restaurant where I work was closed, so I went to Confucius Temple with a girl from Anhui who also works there and didn't go home for the New Year. We got tired at noon and ate wontons at a small shop there. I just glanced outside and saw Gao Peng carrying a five or six-year-old child and walking with a woman. Who do you think that woman was? It must be his ex-wife, and the child he was carrying must be his daughter."

Xu Hui exclaimed in surprise, "So Gao Peng has gotten back together with his ex-wife?" Li Xuan said, "I thought it was only a matter of time. He can't bear to part with his child. Right now, he probably still has nothing to do with that woman. I saw that woman following behind him that day." Xu Hui asked, "Wasn't he very adamant about it a while ago?" Li Xuan said, "That's what he told me..." Who knows what he's really thinking? Sigh, let him be, I haven't lost anything anyway. Even though he's thought about it many times, I haven't let him touch me. This man only wants to do *that* kind of thing when he's with a woman. I reckon he'll still swear to me, and he won't remarry his ex-wife so soon. He won't be content to have been with me for so long without ever touching a hair on my head. I think he'll definitely be thinking about how to get my body. Maybe after getting my body, he'll think about marrying me, or maybe he'll offer to arrange a job as a guarantee. But right now, I think the chances of him remarrying his wife are still higher.”

Xu Hui knew what she meant, blushed, but thought to herself: Not all men are like this. Why hasn't Ouyang Yiming ever done anything improper when I've been with him?

Xu Hui asked, "If he really did that, would you be willing?" Li Xuan sneered and said, "I've considered it. No matter what, I won't let him succeed." Xu Hui nodded and said,

"Exactly. But if he really remarries his ex-wife, wouldn't your original plan..." Li Xuan blurted out, "I have a way." Xu Hui asked, "What way?"

Li Xuan lowered her head and thought for a moment, then smiled and said, "I haven't thought it through yet, but I'll definitely find a way." Xu Hui looked at her suspiciously. Li Xuan blushed and said, "Why are you looking at me like that? I'm telling the truth. What I want to do, I will do. I might even resort to any means necessary."

Xu Hui was startled and looked at her blankly. Li Xuan laughed and said, "Did I scare you? Don't worry, I won't do anything too outrageous, and I certainly won't hurt anyone." Xu Hui looked at her suspiciously and said, "Then you said you'd stop at nothing..." Li Xuan pretended to be relaxed and said, "I was just saying. But I know my limits. Don't worry." Xu Hui sighed softly and said, "I was really worried about you."

As they spoke, they reached their parting place, and the two went back to their respective dormitories. After turning around and taking a few steps, Li Xuan felt a pang of sadness, and tears streamed down her face.

Li Xuan had already put her plan into action during this winter break, and she wouldn't tell anyone. It was something that made her feel ashamed, something she considered sordid, and she would bury it deep in her heart forever.

On New Year's Day, she saw Gao Peng walking with his daughter and his ex-wife at the Confucius Temple, and her mind kept replaying her affair with Gao Peng. She couldn't fall asleep that night.

Thinking to herself, even if Gao Peng doesn't remarry his ex-wife for now, he might in the future. Gao Peng has poured immense love into his child. If this woman continues to cling to Gao Peng, even if he doesn't want to remarry her, or is determined not to, it's inevitable that they'll have some kind of relationship in the future. Even if she marries Gao Peng in the future, though she doesn't love him, she will never allow him to have that kind of relationship with his ex-wife. What would it mean to be caught in their relationship? Wouldn't that be infuriating?
Besides, given the current situation, Gao Peng might remarry that woman. If they remarry, she doesn't have any lingering feelings for Gao Peng. But Gao Peng certainly won't be as attentive to her work as before. Even if he does help her, it might require her to give him her body. Since she can't marry him, yet is forced to have that kind of relationship with such an unattractive man, paying the price with her body, she feels unbalanced. But to achieve her goal, she had to pay this price. She thought that even if she had to pay this price, she would have to wait until Gao Peng had made arrangements for her. But if Gao Peng remarried that woman, would he agree to her request? If he didn't agree and wouldn't arrange it for her, would she have to have that kind of relationship with him while her work was fruitless?

Then she thought, if they remarried, what if that woman knew about their relationship? Would she forgive her? At that point, she would have lost more than she gained.

Even if that woman didn't know about her relationship with Gao Peng, and only knew that Gao Peng was arranging work for a woman, she would definitely be suspicious and obstruct her. Given Gao Peng's personality, even if he wanted to arrange it for her, he would probably be intimidated by that woman's pressure. At that point, there would be no room for maneuver.

Thinking about these things made her panic. All these possibilities terrified her, and she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She was thinking about how to handle this matter perfectly. Should she stop Gao Peng from remarrying that woman? No! They have a child together. Her only worry was that this woman would interfere in her future marriage to Gao Peng. If she didn't stop him from remarrying, her future job situation was uncertain, with over a year to go.

Suddenly, an exciting idea flashed through her mind. If she had to pay the price with her body, why not offer it to his cousin? Gao Peng relied on his cousin to help her with this. If she had that kind of relationship with Gao Peng's cousin, no matter what Gao Peng did, his cousin would arrange her job. Moreover, she wouldn't have to worry about marrying him later. She already felt wronged marrying Gao Peng, who was much older than her. Even if she married Gao Peng's cousin, it would still be much better than marrying Gao Peng himself, since he was a government official. Besides, this was just a worry; Gao Peng's cousin wouldn't ruin his family to marry her. With a good job and considering her decent looks, she wouldn't have trouble finding a suitable man of similar age! She was incredibly excited.

She knew all too well that if she wanted Gao Peng's cousin to do what she desired, she would inevitably have to pay the price with her body. She thought that since she had to pay such a price, she had to firmly grasp this man's control. But would she be able to succeed as she envisioned? Would this man even like it? In the end, she thought, no man wouldn't want something like this. Just because she was still a virgin, she could firmly control this man. This deep-seated confidence made her determined.

That night, she barely slept. She planned whether this idea could be realized, feeling both excited and afraid, and secretly feeling uneasy and ashamed about her thoughts many times.

She even thought it was a very sordid thing. She repeatedly denied it and repeatedly agreed with it. She made excuses for her thoughts that she herself couldn't bear.

She decided to do it; she thought she had to do it. She believed that a woman like her had to pay a price and use any means necessary to achieve her goals. After struggling with this thought for several days, she began to implement her plan, even though she didn't know if it would succeed, or whether she would feel guilty afterward. Once she made the decision, she meticulously planned every possible detail of the scheme. She was satisfied with her plan. But she was still worried; after all, this was her first carefully planned operation.

On the afternoon of the second day after returning to work at the government office following the New Year, she asked the restaurant owner for leave and went to the municipal government. After inquiring at the gatehouse about Gao Peng's cousin's office, she headed straight into the compound.

Before this, she only knew from Gao Peng that his cousin's surname was Yao and that he was the head of the management section of the municipal personnel bureau.

She inquired further and entered an old-fashioned building at a corner, finally finding the section chief's office. Feeling flustered, she stood like a thief in front of the office door, trying to calm her racing heart before knocking. A voice inside invited her in, and Li Xuan pushed open the door. The room was warm and cozy. A man sat at his desk, hunched over, writing.

He didn't even look up after Li Xuan entered, continuing to write. This made Li Xuan even more nervous. Suddenly, she felt a sense of panic and fear about the purpose of her visit. But in an instant, she steeled herself. She took a few steps towards the door, stopped, and with a smile, shyly called out, "Section Chief Yao."

The man, who had been looking down, picked up his pen and stared at her, searching his memory for the person. After a moment, seemingly unable to recall, he looked at her expressionlessly and asked, "Who are you?" Li Xuan blushed and smiled, introducing herself, "My name is Li Xuan. I've been to your house before." The man frowned. Li Xuan said, "Your cousin Gao Peng and I have been to your house." The man instantly relaxed his brow and smiled, standing up and saying, "Oh dear, look at my memory! I knew you looked familiar. I just couldn't remember. Please sit down." He walked over to get a glass of water.

Li Xuan sat down on the sofa and sized up the man before her. He was of medium build and rather thin. His thick, black hair was neatly combed from front to back. He had a broad forehead, large eyes, a straight nose, a wide mouth, and a slightly pointed chin. He looked much younger than Gao Peng, but since Gao Peng called him "brother," he must be older than Gao Peng. He wore a brown open-necked sweater over a snow-white shirt, dark blue trousers, and shiny black leather shoes. He looked exceptionally sharp.

Li Xuan thought to herself that giving her first time to this man was better than giving it to Gao Peng. Her heart pounded, and her cheeks flushed.

Feeling her face burning, she quickly said, "It's quite warm in your room." The man brought over a cup and said, "It's more than ten degrees warmer inside than outside."

Li Xuan smiled and continued the conversation, saying, "Many people ask you for favors. Gao Peng and I only went to your house once. How could you remember?" The man handed Li Xuan the tea, saying, "Yes, we only met once." He looked at Li Xuan intently, then turned and sat down at the table, smiling. Looking at Li Xuan, he asked, "You came alone? He didn't…?" Li Xuan quickly said, "I came…" "I was just passing by and thought I'd stop by to see you. I'm sorry to bother you," the man said with a laugh. "What trouble? I just got back to work after the holiday, and I have a lot to do. Sigh, it's all the same, always busy."

Li Xuan said, "You leaders are always so busy." The man said somewhat smugly, "What leader? Just a small section chief." He pointed north and said, "The leaders are all in those high-rise buildings over there.

Working in this compound, I'm just a handyman." Li Xuan laughed and said, "Even handymen have different positions. Even the gatekeeper here is a bit higher up."

The man laughed heartily. After laughing, he looked suspicious and asked, "School shouldn't be starting yet, why are you here so early?" Li Xuan's face, which had just flushed slightly, turned red again. She lowered her head and then looked up again, saying, "I didn't have much to do at home, and I was worried about not being able to buy train tickets before school started, so I came early." The man looked at her and nodded, seemingly unconvinced. He said, "Is that so?" Then he stared at her and asked, "Are you really alright?" Li Xuan glanced at him and smiled, saying, "It's nothing serious, I just came to..." The man interrupted her with a smile, saying, "It's still about your work, isn't it?" Li Xuan smiled and said, "I didn't come here today for that, I just came to see you. I also wanted to ask if you have any plans for tonight."

A strange light flashed in the man's eyes for a moment, then he frowned and asked, "What do you mean by 'tonight'?" Li Xuan blushed and said, "If you don't have any plans tonight, I'd like to invite you over." The man bowed slightly, laughed, and waved his hand, saying, "Never mind, I understand what you mean, there's no need." Li Xuan said, "This is the first time I've invited you, you must give me face." The man said, "There's no need for that, is it Gao Peng's idea?" Li Xuan said, "No, I haven't seen Gao Peng since I arrived. My invitation to you today has nothing to do with your cousin, I'm just inviting you myself." "The man, suspicious, frowned and looked at her, saying, 'You haven't seen him yet?' Li Xuan said, 'He really doesn't know I came here. I have something I want to talk to you about privately, not just work-related. It's hard to explain in your office right now. So…'

The man thoughtfully said 'Oh,' and then, 'I see.' He straightened his back, rubbed his greasy hair, and said, 'There's no need to ask me. Gao Peng and I are cousins, I'll do my best to help you with your matter.' Li Xuan said, 'It really is something else I want to talk to you about.' The man looked at her, then lowered his head, thinking." Li Xuan smiled at him and said, "If you really don't give me face, then I'll really lose face." The man laughed and looked up, saying, "You're quite the talker." Li Xuan said, "I'm not very good with words, but seeing you gives me a sense of familiarity.

It's settled then." The man smiled and nodded, saying, "Okay." He then asked, "Where?" Li Xuan said, "I'm not familiar with the area, you decide." She then gave the man a charming smile and said, "But let's be clear, I can't afford anything too expensive. Just the two of us, no one else involved, and I still need to talk things out for you."

Li Xuan thought to herself, "Just that smile, and I'm sure you'll have some ideas." This smile was something Li Xuan had carefully planned for many days. Sure enough, the man's heart fluttered when he saw Li Xuan's smile. He lowered his head and thought for a moment before saying, "How about this, my friend at the switch factory has contracted a canteen. It's open to the public, but they have private rooms. Their boiled fish is pretty good, what do you think..." Li Xuan smiled and said, "What do you mean, 'what do you mean?' I'll just do it your way." The man smiled and said, "Then I'll make the decision. Here's the address."

He turned and picked up a piece of paper from the table, writing something on it. As he wrote, Li Xuan walked over and watched him. She brushed against him intentionally or unintentionally a couple of times, and noticed that his hand trembled slightly as he wrote. Li Xuan thought to herself, "You're nothing special." The man finished writing, looked up at her, and said, "I get off work at six, so I'll probably be there around six-thirty. You go ahead first, and when you get there, please have a private room and wait for me there." Li Xuan nodded, took the document, put it in her pocket, and reached out to grasp the man's hand as he stood up, saying, "I'll be waiting for you there." The man held her soft hand and said, "See you there." Releasing her hand, Li Xuan smiled sweetly at the man and said, "You're busy, I've kept you from writing your report." The man smiled and said, "It's alright." He saw her out the door.

This man was Yao Jianshe, a demobilized military officer.

After leaving the house, Li Xuan's heart pounded again. She was excited about taking the first step in her plan, and secretly admired herself for being so composed in front of this man. Downstairs, however, a sudden fear gripped her, a fear that chilled her to the bone, and she shivered involuntarily. After a few steps, she felt a pang of sadness and wanted to cry. After a while, she thought to herself, what could she do? She was born in a remote mountain village, with no social connections. It was all fate.

Returning to the restaurant where she worked, she borrowed fifty yuan from the owner, saying she had something to do that evening. She figured she had some money on her, so even if she had to pay, it would be enough. Besides, she had planned for this man to pay anyway. Taking the money was just in case.

At six o'clock that evening, Li Xuan arrived at the switch factory's canteen. The switch factory wasn't large, but it was located in a bustling area. It was a collective enterprise under the jurisdiction of the local government office, and its profits weren't very good. A year ago, the canteen was contracted out to employees through a public tender, and Yao Jianshe's high school classmate won the bid. Because it could operate externally, the contract stipulated that he would handle all the necessary procedures for external operation, so he needed to deal with various departments such as industry and commerce, taxation, and sanitation. After winning the bid, he approached Yao Jianshe. He knew that although Yao Jianshe wasn't a high-ranking official in the personnel bureau, he had extensive connections. Yao Jianshe not only smoothed things over for him but also brought him many clients. So when Yao Jianshe brought people to eat, he would overcharge them if they paid the bill, but when he ate alone or treated others, it was free.

The canteen also had a guesthouse attached, but because business was slow at the factory, there weren't many people staying there. Sometimes Yao Jianshe would introduce people who came to him for business to stay there. His friend even arranged a room specifically for him, instructing his subordinates not to sublet it. Sometimes Yao Jianshe would rest there after drinking, sometimes he would gamble with friends there, and sometimes he would write documents there.

Fortunately, Yao Jianshe, a former soldier, hadn't had any women other than his wife in the years since his demobilization, otherwise this place would have long been his hiding place. Yao Jianshe sometimes lamented that he was a man without luck with women. Sometimes he would watch some foreign porn with friends that excited him, and he had dreamed of having a woman other than his wife. However, the woman he longed for never appeared. So he could only vent his frustrations on his wife, who was quite good-looking. But his wife disliked the actions he learned from the videotapes.

He found the routine of sex boring. Chapter 43 of

Love and Desire (45) When Li Xuan asked the waiter for a private room, the waiter asked her how many people were in the room. Li Xuan was worried that they wouldn't give her a private room if she was only dining with two people. So she said it was hard to say now and she would decide later. Although the factory was not doing well, the boiler was still running. The private room was warm and cozy with heating. Although the decoration of the private room was not high-class, it was Li Xuan's first time eating in a restaurant with a private room, so she felt it was a bit luxurious. The table was large and covered with a snow-white tablecloth. Many glasses were already placed on it, with pink napkins folded into flowers inserted in the glasses. The wine glasses and dishes were all neatly arranged. There was a small rotating table in the center of the table. The walls were covered with pale yellow wallpaper with flowers, and there was a pair of single sofas against the wall. Li Xuan sat down on one of the sofas. The waiter brought in a bottle of water, pushed open the door, took the cup, put some tea leaves in it, added water, and placed it on the coffee table on the sofa. He nodded and smiled at her and then went out again. Li Xuan picked up her teacup, but even the scalding hot tea made her feel a chill run through her body. A sense of dread and unease gripped her heart, and her hand holding the cup trembled slightly. She had considered everything that might happen tonight, or perhaps in the future. Although she was mentally prepared, she was still terrified by the imagined scenarios. She paced back and forth in the private room, holding the teacup in both hands, repeatedly telling herself to stay calm. Whatever happened, it was what she had imagined, what she had willingly chosen, what she had to do for her future and for her family—even if it was a risky gamble, she had to take it. After a while, Yao Jianshe entered with a broad smile. He nodded to Li Xuan, took off his wool coat and scarf, hung them on a hanger, sat down, and told the waiter, "Call your manager." The waiter poured tea and left. Yao Jianshe asked Li Xuan with a smile, "When did you arrive?" Li Xuan replied with a smile, "Just a little while ago." Yao Jianshe said, "The environment here is alright, quite quiet." Li Xuan said, "Yes, it's quite upscale." Yao Jianshe smiled and said, "Upscale is an understatement, just average." Li Xuan blushed and said, "I've never been to any upscale places, but this feels pretty upscale." Yao Jianshe thought to himself, "With your naivety, you probably haven't been to any upscale places either." But he said aloud, "It's alright." At this moment, there was a knock on the door, and Yao Jianshe said, "Come in." The door opened, and Li Xuan saw a short, chubby man enter. Upon seeing Yao Jianshe, he immediately smiled broadly and said, "So it's the section chief!" As he spoke, he took out a cigarette and offered it to him. Yao Jianshe didn't get up to take the cigarette. After the fat man lit it for him, he smiled and said, "Here you go again, begging for mercy." The man smiled obsequiously and said, "You're being too polite. We're practically family." He glanced at Li Xuan as he spoke, and Li Xuan blushed and smiled at him. Yao Jianshe said to the fat man, "This is a relative of mine. It's just the two of us eating today, so could you get us something?" The man said, "Sure thing." Yao Jianshe then said to Li Xuan:

“This is Manager Zhao,” Li Xuan nodded to him. Manager Zhao extended his hand, but quickly withdrew it, saying, “Hello.” He then turned his gaze to Yao Jianshe. Yao Jianshe said,

“Let’s just have something light, don’t order too many dishes.” Manager Zhao agreed, then asked, “The same wine?” Yao Jianshe nodded and said, “Okay.” Manager Zhao nodded to both of them and left. After he left, Yao Jianshe said to Li Xuan, “Let’s not interfere, let him do whatever he wants.” Li Xuan smiled and nodded.

Soon, cold dishes were served: a plate of poached duck, a plate of braised beef, a plate of cold daylily salad, and a plate of spinach salad. The waiter set the table, nodded, smiled, and left. Yao Jianshe got up from the sofa and said to Li Xuan, “Come on.” Li Xuan got up, took off her cotton coat and hung it on the hanger, leaving her in a pink thin-knit sweater. She turned back to Yao Jianshe and said, “This room is quite warm.”

Yao Jianshe smiled and hummed in agreement, but his eyes were fixed on Li Xuan’s high, rounded breasts. Li Xuan's breasts were already larger than other girls', and coupled with her slender figure, they were even more prominent.

At this moment, Li Xuan noticed Yao Jianshe's eyes staring at her chest, but pretended not to notice. She was flustered inside, but smiled and sat down next to Yao Jianshe, reaching for the bottle of baijiu on the table. Yao Jianshe quickly said, "Let me do it." Li Xuan said, "I should pour you the wine." As she spoke, she unscrewed the bottle cap, poured half a glass of wine into the glass in front of Yao Jianshe, and said, "I've never drunk wine before, so I'll just have a little to keep you company, what do you think?" Yao Jianshe said, "If you really can't drink, then drink as much as you like." Li Xuan poured the last drop into her glass, and Yao Jianshe frowned, saying, "That's too little." Li Xuan said, "I've never drunk wine before, I can't drink." Yao Jianshe said, "A little bit is fine." As he spoke, he reached for the bottle in Li Xuan's hand, but suddenly grabbed her soft hand, then quickly let go, moving his hand slightly higher to hold the bottle.

Li Xuan blushed instantly when he grabbed her hand, and then let go. Yao Jianshe poured a little into Li Xuan's glass, and Li Xuan hurriedly grabbed it, saying, "I really can't, I'm going to get drunk after drinking so much." But in her heart, she thought, "Don't worry about that, even this whole bottle wouldn't be a problem."

Yao Jianshe smiled and said, "It's alright, it's low-alcohol." He then raised his glass, looking at Li Xuan with a smile, and said, "Why? Let's drink to our acquaintance."

Li Xuan raised her glass, a charming smile on her face, and said, "It's an honor to know you, my leader, let's drink to that honor." Yao Jianshe pointed at Li Xuan and said, "You really know how to talk.

Okay, let's drink to knowing a beautiful woman from a prestigious university like you." Li Xuan laughed and said, "I'm not a beauty."

As she spoke, she reached out and touched his glass to hers, took a tiny sip, and put it down. Yao Jianshe downed his drink in one gulp, then looked at Li Xuan, who had only taken a tiny sip, and said, "This won't do; you haven't even drunk anything." Li Xuan feigned difficulty and said, "I really can't drink; I'll just have a little." Yao Jianshe said, "This won't do." He reached for the glass in front of Li Xuan and said, "This is our first time drinking together; you have to finish this first glass." Li Xuan laughed and said, "Please spare me; if I finish it and get drunk, how can I talk to you?" Yao Jianshe smiled and said, "Alright, then drink half." Li Xuan looked at him with difficulty. Yao Jianshe said, "It's okay." Li Xuan took a sip and pretended to swallow with difficulty.

Yao Jianshe watched, thinking she really couldn't drink. He said, "Eat some food to calm your nerves." Li Xuan stuck out her tongue and said, "It's spicy; I can't handle it." She then picked up her chopsticks and took a few stalks of daylily.

Yao Jianshe said, "You get used to it once you start drinking it. You girls usually don't drink baijiu." Li Xuan said, "Yes, I've never drunk it before." As she spoke, she poured a small half-cup of liquor into Yao Jianshe's glass.

Yao Jianshe picked up a piece of beef and placed it on the small plate in front of Li Xuan, saying, "The braised beef here is quite good; they make it themselves." Li Xuan said, "You're the one who put food on my plate; it's my turn to serve you..."

Yao Jianshe smiled and said, "It's only right; you're my little sister." Upon hearing this, Li Xuan immediately said, "Then I'll really consider you my brother. From now on, I'll call you Brother Yao, okay?"

Yao Jianshe paused for a moment, then widened his eyes and said, "Okay, that's best; it sounds more intimate." Li Xuan smiled and said, "Then I won't be polite." As she spoke, she stood up, picked up the glass in front of Yao Jianshe, and said, "Brother Yao, this is the first time I've officially recognized you as my brother. I'd like to toast you; you won't refuse, will you?" Yao Jianshe laughed heartily and said, "Alright, alright, I'll accept this toast; thank you, little sister." After

saying this, he picked up the glass and drank it all in one gulp.

Li Xuan quickly placed a piece of poached duck on the small plate in front of Yao Jianshe. Then she picked up the wine bottle and poured him a small half-glass of wine. Yao Jianshe, with food in his mouth, turned to look at Li Xuan and said, "Your name is Li..." Li Xuan quickly replied, "My name is Li Xuan. Brother Yao, you really have a bad memory." Yao Jianshe slapped his forehead and said, "Look at my brain." He chuckled twice and asked,

"Xuan, is it the 'Xuan' with the 'prince' radical?" Li Xuan said, "Exactly." Yao Jianshe said, "Xuan is a kind of beautiful jade, or some say a kind of beautiful stone. A good name." Back in the army, a junior medic in the clinic had the character "Xuan" in his name, and he had specifically asked about it before, so he readily said it. Li Xuan smiled and said, "Brother Yao, you're truly a talented man." Yao Jianshe smiled smugly and asked, "Did your father name you that?" Li Xuan said, "My parents are both farmers and illiterate. How could they have given me such a name? My teacher gave me this name when I was in school."

Yao Jianshe said "Oh," and after eating a few bites of food, he casually asked, "How old are you this year?" Li Xuan said, "Twenty-one. No, it's already past the New Year, so I'm twenty-two." Li Xuan was still a year understated. Yao Jianshe said, "Still young." Li Xuan didn't know what Yao Jianshe meant by "still young," so she said, "Still young? In my hometown, people my age already have two children." Yao Jianshe glanced at her, his eyes sweeping over her ample chest before quickly looking away. He coughed and said, "That's true, people in the countryside get married earlier." Li Xuan said, "Yes. Some get married at sixteen or seventeen." Yao Jianshe nodded thoughtfully.

Li Xuan stood up and took the glass from Yao Jianshe, saying, "Brother Yao, I almost forgot. I only had one drink when we met earlier. In our hometown, it's customary not to drink alone." Yao Jianshe laughed and said, "You'll get me drunk if you keep doing this." But he took the glass and drank it anyway. Li Xuan took a bottle to refill the glass, saying, "Brother Yao, you frequent these drinking places. You can't possibly get drunk from this." Yao Jianshe shook his head and said, "There are occasions where you have to drink." Li Xuan asked, "A lot of people ask you for favors, right?" Yao Jianshe nodded and said, "There's no way around it. They're all relatives and friends. Even though I work there, they don't know what I do. It's just that I know a lot of people, so I can talk to them about some things." He paused, then stared directly at Li Xuan's face and asked, "How are things between you and my cousin now?"

Li Xuan's heart tightened. She lowered her head to think for a moment, then looked up at him and said, "Actually, I was just about to tell you this today. But I was afraid you'd be offended by such close relatives." Yao Jianshe looked at her and suddenly laughed, saying, "I won't hide it from you, but my relationship with him..." "Our kinship isn't close, but it's not distant either. My dad and her mom are cousins. Her mom died early, and we didn't really keep in touch for many years. It's only in the last two years, after I started working there, that we've seen each other more often. He often visits my parents during holidays and also comes to my house, which is how we've become closer." Li Xuan stared at him wide-eyed and said, "Oh, I see. I thought you were very close relatives. I've never heard him mention it." Yao Jianshe smiled and said, "You know how things are these days. You just want me to help you with something sooner or later." Li Xuan quickly said, "Then my matter..."

Yao Jianshe paused for a moment, then smiled and said, "Of course I'll do my best to help you with your matter. But I still care about Gao Peng quite a bit. Besides, you've already called me your brother." He then laughed and said,

"Actually, college graduates like you are still in high demand. Many companies are short of talent like you. The only reason you want to stay is because no one is there to connect you with others. I'll just play the role of connecting them."

"But then again, without this bridge, it would be really hard to stay here, so what I said last time wasn't a difficult thing. We're relatives, after all, and I'm a kind-hearted person. I can help others with their problems, so why can't I help you? Besides, I think my cousin is quite pitiful, divorced and all alone. Finding you is his good fortune. I should do this kind of thing to help others." Li Xuan smiled and said, "Hearing you say that puts my mind at ease. Thank you so much, Brother Yao." She picked up her glass and said, "Brother Yao, let's have a drink." Yao Jianshe agreed, picked up his glass, and the two clinked glasses and drank it all in one gulp. Yao Jianshe

looked at her in surprise and said, "You can drink?" Li Xuan deliberately coughed twice and said, "I'm just happy. I'm afraid I'll get drunk if I drink any more." Section Chief Yao stared intently at her face and shook his head, saying, "No, you seem like you can drink a lot; your face hasn't changed color at all." Li Xuan quickly said, "My dad is the same; his face doesn't even turn red when he's drunk." Section Chief Yao nodded with some skepticism and said,

"There is such a person." Li Xuan said, "Actually, I'm feeling a little dizzy right now." Yao Jianshe said, "It's alright, pour some more. Drink as much as you can." Li Xuan thanked Brother Yao and poured a little more into his cup, then poured some for herself as well. At this moment, the waiter pushed open the door, brought two plates of hot dishes, said "Enjoy your meal," and left.

Yao Jianshe invited Li Xuan to eat. Li Xuan picked up some stir-fried eel shreds and put them in her mouth when she heard Yao Jianshe say, "You said you wanted to talk to me alone this afternoon in the office, but I forgot because of a distraction."

Li Xuan swallowed the food, her face fell, and she sighed, saying, "You probably don't know, but his ex-wife divorced her current husband again, and she recently asked Gao Peng to remarry her." Yao Jianshe said in surprise, "Really? I really haven't heard about that. He didn't mention it when he came to my house during the Spring Festival." "Li Xuan said, 'Actually, I came to see you today because I'm afraid he'll remarry his ex-wife and stop caring about me, so I came to see you abruptly.' Yao Jianshe nodded and said, 'He did talk about you when he came to my house during the Spring Festival. I think he still cares about you.'

Li Xuan sighed again and said, 'Actually, I also wanted to marry him after graduation. But I feel that there's a higher chance he'll remarry his ex-wife.' Yao Jianshe shook his head and said, 'That doesn't make sense. They came to me when they divorced, and I also contacted the district civil affairs bureau and the court. Later, seeing that his situation wasn't working, I advised him to just get a divorce. Dragging it out is pointless.'

Li Xuan said, 'Gao Peng is thinking about the child. A while ago, he told me that the woman begged him to remarry, but he didn't want to. It's not like he has me now. '" But he's only thinking about the child. The child was awarded to that woman. Gao Peng said that if that woman remarries or doesn't remarry, the child will be raised by his ex-wife, and things won't be good. He said that woman won't take care of the child, so he demands that the child be raised by him. That woman said she won't let him take the child unless he remarries her. You see, things are at a standstill now. I have a feeling that Gao Peng will remarry his ex-wife, just for the child.”

Yao Jianshe nodded and said, “That makes sense, but that woman…” Li Xuan interrupted him, “I said I have this feeling, and it's not just imagination. A few days ago, I saw the three of them together, strolling around Confucius Temple. I'm not making this up. He didn't see me. If you're interested and have the chance to tell him, just say someone else saw it, don't mention me.” Yao Jianshe listened with wide eyes, and after Li Xuan finished speaking, he exclaimed in surprise, “Really? So he really wants to remarry? But that woman is different from you…” Li Xuan said, “Gao Peng is a good person. I think even if they remarry, it will only be for the child.” Yao Jianshe thought for a moment and nodded. Li Xuan said, "

That's why I thought of coming directly to you. From the first time I met you at your house, I felt that you were a warm-hearted person, and I thought you would help me." Yao Jianshe said, "Don't worry about that. As long as it's within my power, I will do my best." Li Xuan said, "Then I'm really so grateful to Brother Yao. I don't know what to say. How about this, let's have another drink together."

Yao Jianshe looked at her questioningly and said, "If you can't drink, then..." Li Xuan said, "Even if I have to lie here today, I still want to drink this cup with you, Brother Yao. If I can really help you in the future, I will repay you by being your ox or horse in my next life." Yao Jianshe smiled and said, "You're too kind, you're too kind. It's just a small favor."

Li Xuan raised her glass and clinked it with his, and they both drank it down. After eating a few bites of food, Li Xuan said, "Actually, I've been thinking a lot these past few days. I think, if Gao Peng really remarries his ex-wife, even if Gao Peng wants you to help me in the future, that woman won't allow it if she finds out." Yao Jianshe put down his chopsticks and said, "Don't worry about her. Now that you consider me your brother, you're my sister too. How could I not care about our own affairs? Don't think about anything else. Your affairs are my affairs, and I'll do my best to handle them for you." Li Xuan said excitedly, "Brother Yao, I feel relieved to hear you say that." As she spoke, she picked up her glass again and said, "I have to have another drink with you, brother." Yao Jianshe looked at her suspiciously and said, "Are you still up for it?" Li Xuan gave him a charming smile and said, "Even if I'm not up for it, I still have to drink. I'm so happy to have found such a good brother today." Yao Jianshe laughed and said, "Alright, let's have another drink, brother and sister."

The two of them drank it all in one go. Li Xuan refilled her glass. The door was knocked open, and a waiter brought in a pot of boiled fish. After placing it on the table and leaving, Li Xuan said, "Brother, I've really drunk too much. My head is spinning." As she spoke, she touched her forehead and deliberately stretched her foot under the table, bumping it against Yao Jianshe's foot without moving it away, pretending not to notice. Yao Jianshe's heart skipped a beat. He looked up at Li Xuan and saw that she was indeed drunk, and he didn't want to move his foot away from hers. His heart was pounding, but he forced a smile and said, "Come on, have some food." Li Xuan pretended to be dizzy, resting her head on the edge of the table and said, "Brother Yao, you eat first, I'll rest for a bit." Actually ,

Li Xuan knew perfectly well what was going on in her mind. She thought, seeing how readily he agreed, what did she have to offer him? If a man doesn't get a taste of success, or a woman can't hold onto a man, she might forget about him after the drinking session. She had prepared everything; she was going to gamble everything on this man, and she had to hold onto him. So she would have to pay the price.

At that moment, she felt extremely fearful and uneasy.

Yao Jianshe placed a piece of fish on Li Xuan's plate, and suddenly felt the foot that had been tickling him retract, making him feel as if something was missing. He paused, then patted Li Xuan's shoulder as she leaned on the edge of the table and asked, "How are you feeling?" Li Xuan sat up and smiled at him, saying, "I'm fine, just a little dizzy."

Li Xuan reached for her chopsticks, picked up the fish from the plate, and put it in her mouth, saying, "This is the first time I've drunk so much." Yao Jianshe said, "You'll get used to it after a few more times." Li Xuan smiled and said, "I don't usually have the chance to drink." Yao Jianshe nodded and said, "You'll have the opportunity after you start working." "How about this, I can't drink anymore either. Let's finish this glass of wine and then have dinner, okay?"

Li Xuan said, "Brother, have you had enough? Don't worry about me." Yao Jianshe smiled and said, "I've had enough too. I'm happy today and I've drunk quite a bit." Li Xuan said, "Really enough? Don't be so kind to your sister that you're not drinking enough." Yao Jianshe said, "No, not at all." After saying that, he picked up his wine glass and clinked it with Li Xuan's glass. They both finished their drinks.

Love and Desire (46) Chapter 44 Li Xuan stood up with a look of disgust, deliberately staggered, and put one hand on Yao Jianshe's shoulder. Then she pulled it back instantly and said with a red face, "I've really had a bit too much to drink." This action was also carefully designed by Li Xuan. Yao Jianshe really believed that Li Xuan had drunk too much.

Li Xuan picked up the wine bottle again. Yao Jianshe stared at her and asked, "Want to drink more?" Li Xuan smiled charmingly and said, "I have to drink this last glass with you. Thank you again, brother." Yao Jianshe hurriedly said,

"Forget it, don't drink anymore, I appreciate your kindness, brother." Li Xuan said, "No, I can't listen to you, brother." As she spoke, she poured wine into Yao Jianshe's glass, but deliberately spilled some outside the glass.

Yao Jianshe quickly stood up and said, "You can't drink anymore." Li Xuan pushed Yao Jianshe and said, "No." As she spoke, her hand trembled as she turned her glass upside down, picked up the glass, and looked at him with hazy eyes, saying, "Brother, I won't say any words of gratitude. From now on, I'll rely on you. Drink this glass." Yao Jianshe saw that there was more wine in her glass than ever before, and said, "Is this... alright?" Li Xuan didn't speak, but raised her hand and drank the wine in the glass in one gulp, then smiled sweetly at him. Yao Jianshe looked at her in surprise for a moment, and then saw Li Xuan smiling charmingly at him. His heart melted, and he drank the wine in his glass as well.

Seeing him drink, Li Xuan leaned against Yao Jianshe again. Yao Jianshe, thinking she was about to lie down, reached out and supported her. As he pulled her closer, their bodies pressed together. Yao Jianshe immediately felt Li Xuan's full, soft breasts pressed against his own, and his heart skipped a beat, his body going numb. He pulled her into his arms, unwilling to let go. He inhaled the fragrance of her hair and couldn't control himself.

Li Xuan let him hold her, her feelings indescribable. After a while, Yao Jianshe looked at the door, regaining his composure, and helped Li Xuan sit on the sofa, saying, "Rest for a while, you'll feel better after a rest." He then pulled her onto the sofa as he spoke. Li Xuan deliberately opened her eyes with difficulty, saw him smile, and then tried to stand up, saying, "I'll go pay the bill." Yao Jianshe said, "Hey, do you have to pay for a meal here? Today we're eating at the boss's place." Li Xuan opened her eyes and said, "This, this won't do."

She tried to stand up again. Yao Jianshe said, "Just listen to your brother." Li Xuan said no, but closed her eyes, still muttering, "This isn't right." Yao Jianshe said, "There's nothing wrong with it." He paused and said, "How about this, it looks like you can't go back right away. I'll have them help you to the guesthouse in the back to rest for a while, okay?" Li Xuan was startled. She didn't know there was a guesthouse here. She thought Yao Jianshe would take her somewhere else. She thought to herself, "Am I supposed to give myself to him here today? Or did he have a premeditated plan to have me eat here?"

But Li Xuan knew that what was coming would soon happen! Another wave of fear washed over her. But she nodded anyway.

Yao Jianshe opened the door and called over a waiter, saying, "Call the manager." When Manager Zhao arrived, Yao Jianshe said, "Send two people to help my relative to the back to rest for a while; she's had too much to drink."

Manager Zhao understood. He then called over two waiters and told them to take Li Xuan to room 305 to rest. The two waiters helped Li Xuan up, draped her cotton-padded coat over her shoulders, and left.

After Li Xuan left, Yao Jianshe sat down to eat again. Manager Zhao chuckled, "Where did you get this girl?" Yao Jianshe rolled his eyes at him and said, "What girl? She's a distant relative of mine."

He coughed and then instructed, "Have your people make some strong tea and send it over later. I have to go over after dinner. She probably won't be able to go back tonight, so send someone to call her for breakfast tomorrow morning." Manager Zhao smiled broadly and said, "Look at you, how could I not take good care of your relative?" Yao Jianshe hummed in agreement, drank a few sips of soup, stood up, grabbed his coat, and said, "Please take care of her, I have things to do back home."

Li Xuan was helped up to the third floor by two waiters and entered room 305 at the corner. She let the waiters take off her shoes and coat and cover her with a thin blanket. After the waiters left, Li Xuan opened her eyes and, using the light streaming in from the window, saw that it was a single room, and her bed was quite large. There was a pair of sofas against one wall, a television set on a row of cabinets, and the curtains trailed on the floor. The room was heated, just like always.

Li Xuan's heart pounded wildly. She thought to herself, "It's about to begin, just as I imagined." A shiver ran through her as she thought this, a feeling of fear washing over her. Suddenly, she thought of her family and mother, a pang of sadness welling up inside her, and tears streamed down her face. After a moment, she thought to herself, "It's all for our family, for my future. Who told us to be so poor and without any connections?" She silently vowed, "I was forced to take this step today. I will make something of myself someday, and I'll make more people beg me."

Suddenly, she heard the door open. Li Xuan trembled instantly, pretending to be asleep. She heard the light turn on, but dared not open her eyes. As footsteps approached, her heart leaped into her throat.

Then she heard a girl's voice: "Comrade, get up and have a strong cup of tea." Li Xuan remained silent. The girl called twice more, and seeing no response, muttered to herself, "She can't drink, yet she drinks so much." She then walked away, turned off the light, and closed the door behind her.

Li Xuan breathed a sigh of relief after the visitor left, but she thought Yao Jianshe would arrive soon. She wondered what the scene would be like. Suddenly, something occurred to her. She sat up, grabbed her cotton-padded coat, took a handkerchief from her pocket, tucked it under her pillow, and lay back down. This was also part of her plan; she needed to preserve evidence of the man in case he changed his mind later. Her heart, which had been pounding wildly, gradually calmed down. She wasn't so afraid anymore, but rather a little anxious.

More than an hour passed in this wait, and Yao Jianshe still hadn't arrived. This disappointed her somewhat. Had she misjudged him? Was Yao Jianshe not a philanderer at all? Or was he considering his kinship with Gao Peng? She pondered this for a while, and the thought that Yao Jianshe wouldn't come filled her with a sense of loss, a feeling that her plan had collapsed.

Deep down, she felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment at the lack of a return. She had racked her brains for this plan for days, barely sleeping, and now, sleepiness washed over her, and she slowly drifted off to sleep amidst these complex thoughts.

Li Xuan slept soundly, as if relieved of a heavy burden. She curled up on the large, soft bed, her small body almost invisible from the indentation of the mattress and the fluffy blanket covering her; she seemed so tiny in the warm room. Her breathing was even and steady, and a sweet smile seemed to linger on her face.

She had a dream. She dreamt of the mountain valley where she was born and raised. She dreamt of her parents and the whole family. In the dream, they were all full of energy and radiant. Her father was no longer breathing heavily with the suffocating sound of the bellows, no longer with that sickly, heartbreaking look. Her father was also working in the fields with the whole family. The laughter of her family filled her with joy.

She had never felt so good. She bought meat, fish, chicken, and lots and lots of delicious food. The steaming dishes filled the room. The family sat down at the table, laughing and chatting. She was surprised to find that their old, rickety wooden table had been replaced with the one she and Yao Jianshe used to eat at, complete with a small rotating table in the middle. She asked her mother when they bought the table. Her mother laughed and scolded her, saying, "You're so forgetful at such a young age! Didn't you bring it from the city yourself?" She tried to remember, but couldn't recall when she had bought it.

Her eldest brother brought out a bundle of liquor—the same kind she and Yao Jianshe drank—but it didn't have a box; it was the kind from their hometown, tied with rope. She wondered why it wasn't in a pretty box. The bottles were white porcelain with nice labels, but no names. She poured liquor for everyone, and the whole family drank a lot. She, her brothers, and her younger brother played drinking games, finishing the entire bundle of liquor without getting drunk.

Suddenly, her second brother burst into tears. She asked him why he was crying. He cried that he wanted to go to school, and he wanted to go to university too. She smiled at her second brother and said, "If you want to go to university, go ahead. I have the money to support you now. Your grades are so good, you're sure to get in." Her second brother cried, saying he'd forgotten everything he'd learned over the years, how could he possibly pass? She told him, "Then just review it again, you'll definitely remember." Her second brother got his books and started studying. Her eldest brother also said he wanted to go to university, and their mother laughed, saying, "With your pig brain, you think you can get into university?" She then said, "Brother, I'll get you a wife tomorrow, Zhang Damei from our east village, isn't she your favorite?" The whole family laughed… In her sleep, she heard a voice, a soft voice, but it still woke Li Xuan. She opened her eyes and saw the man entering the room, the man who was about to take her virginity, but for whom she was willing. The man stopped the moment he closed the door. Li Xuan bit the corner of the blanket tightly, her eyes wide open. She saw him turn away, and heard a faint click as the door locked from the inside—a sound that nearly made Li Xuan's heart leap out of her chest. She knew what was coming was about to happen.

The man was walking towards her, his footsteps light. Li Xuan closed her eyes; she was going to face this anticipated reality, she was going to do everything she had planned. She pretended to be asleep, her breathing still even, her ears perked up, listening to any sound coming from the room. She heard the man stop by the bedside; she could clearly hear the heavy breathing coming from his nostrils. But after a while, she could still hear his panting but made no move.

Then, she heard his footsteps again, lightly, as if he were tiptoeing. Li Xuan didn't dare open her eyes. She heard the man sit down on the sofa, followed by a soft sigh. Li Xuan cautiously opened her eyes a little and saw the man sitting on the sofa, his eyes fixed on her on the bed. The man took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it, and took deep drags, his eyes never leaving her lying on the bed. Li Xuan suddenly wondered, why did he only come now? Where had he been?

Yao Jianshe had indeed gone home. He told his wife that the secretary of the municipal office, the director of the planning bureau, and the director of the labor bureau had invited him to play mahjong, and he had come home to let her know so she wouldn't worry. His wife knew that playing cards was a way to maintain relationships, so she asked if he had brought any money. Yao Jianshe said that even though he didn't have any money in his pocket, he had come home to get some. His wife scolded him, saying that he hadn't come home to tell her beforehand, but only because he didn't have any money. Yao Jianshe laughed and said that the most important thing was to go home and report to his wife. His wife said, "You're such a smooth talker."

She opened the cabinet, took out five hundred yuan, and handed it to him, asking if it was enough. Yao Jianshe said, "It's enough. I don't lose much at cards." His wife said, "You can't expect to win. The director of the planning bureau, the director of the labor bureau, and that insignificant little secretary—aren't they all backed by powerful connections? What kind of connections do we have?" Yao Jianshe said, "I understand, but we can't lose too much. Just not winning is fine."

His wife rolled her eyes at him and said, "You don't understand anything! You have to lose when you're supposed to. Otherwise, who knows who might pull a fast one on you, and you'll lose your position. With them, everything is easy."

Yao Jianshe said he knew, adding that women are always so nagging. As he took the money and left, he said, "I might be back late, or I might not come back at all." His wife said she knew, then added, "You can play mahjong all night? Are you even going to work tomorrow?" Yao Jianshe said, "It's too late to sleep at their place, it's not good if you wake them up, I love you." His wife replied, "Sleep wherever you want."

Yao Jianshe felt guilty talking to his wife at home; the feeling of being a thief made him avoid eye contact. But he tried his best to remain calm, not letting his wife see any flaws in his heart. He took the money and hurriedly left, as if fleeing for his life.

After leaving, he thought about Li Xuan, feeling conflicted. He still couldn't figure out if Li Xuan had any feelings for him. Thinking about Li Xuan's glances and smiles, he was certain she had those feelings, feeling that having a relationship with her wouldn't cause any problems. But then he thought about some of Li Xuan's expressions and tone of voice, which gave him a vague feeling that Li Xuan was not an ordinary person.

Yao Jianshe pondered this bitterly, but unable to suppress his desire, he took a bus to the electronics factory. He got off near the factory and happened to come across a small teahouse, so he went in and drank tea alone.

Yao Jianshe's family had no political background. His current official position is thanks to the massive "Down to the Countryside Movement." After graduating from middle school, he answered the call and went to a poor mountainous area in Shandong to receive re-education from poor and lower-middle peasants. Because of his honesty, diligence, and quiet nature, coupled with a bit of cleverness, he was highly regarded by the local brigade cadres. The following year, he was recruited into the army. In the army, he maintained the same character he had developed during his time in the countryside. In his first year, he became a squad leader and joined the Party; the following year, he was promoted to platoon leader. He continued to serve in the army until

he reached the battalion level. Two years ago, he was demobilized thanks to the connections of his former superior with a provincial leader, which allowed him to smoothly enter the personnel bureau. Last year, he was promoted from deputy section chief to section chief. Although he doesn't flaunt his position, many people seek his help, including some leading cadres. He knows that some things must be done even if they can't be done, but for some people, he has to use his influence.

Therefore, there is no shortage of people offering him gifts. Of course, he also knew that if he wanted to have more power, he would still want the seat of the current director who was about to retire. So, in addition to being careful at work, he also knew the importance of relationships. He often met with those he dared not offend, eating, playing cards, and watching porn. Chapter 45

Yao Jianshe drank tea in the teahouse for a while, pondering the reliability of his relationship with Li Xuan tonight. Of course, he did not want to encounter any trouble because of this. He thought that Li Xuan was just a country girl, and her ultimate goal was to arrange a job for her through him. Since he would not break his promise, what could she do to him? He was confident about arranging a job for a college student. Thinking about Li Xuan from his office to eating together, he vaguely felt that Li Xuan was interested in him. He knew that the reason why this woman was like this was entirely for his job. So, they were mutually attracted. He was sure that there was no problem and made up his mind under the strong primal desire. He had the key to the guesthouse's small door and room, so he did not need to greet the guesthouse staff. As he passed the duty room, he saw the duty officer watching TV and didn't notice his arrival. So he quietly walked past, not wanting to be seen. His heart pounded as he went up to the third floor and quietly opened the door. Entering the room, he saw Li Xuan lying asleep on the bed, and his heart instantly surged with passion; he wanted nothing more than to get on the bed immediately. But after standing by the bed for a while, he felt guilty, so he retreated to the sofa, took out a cigarette, and tried to calm himself. But in the flickering light of the cigarette, his mind became even more chaotic, and desire made his head throb. He felt his increasingly hard penis becoming unbearable. Facing this female college student, more than ten years younger than him, lying on the bed, he finally decided to act on his desires. He stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray, took off his coat, and went to the bedside. He leaned down to look at Li Xuan's face and saw her sleeping peacefully. So he called Li Xuan softly twice in a trembling voice, but there was no response. He thought she had drunk quite a bit and wouldn't wake up anytime soon. Images from those pornographic videotapes flashed through his mind again. He thought to himself, "Today, while she's drunk, I'm going to have my way with her." The thought fueled his excitement, and he plopped down on the edge of the bed. Li Xuan knew his every move. Her heart was in her throat; hearing the man call her name almost made her lose control, but she forced herself to remain calm. When the man sat on the edge of the bed, she knew it was all about to begin. She felt fear, but also a strange excitement. Yao Jianshe paused for a moment after sitting down, then slipped his hand under the covers. Li Xuan felt Yao Jianshe's hand directly touch her breast, and her body trembled involuntarily. Yao Jianshe noticed, stopped, and looked at Li Xuan's face, finding her still fast asleep. His hand moved again to her breast. He felt how soft and fluffy her breasts were. Slowly, his hand slipped inside her bra, touching her erect, hard nipples. Li Xuan couldn't control herself any longer and shifted slightly. Yao Jianshe quickly withdrew his hand, but saw Li Xuan stir, then bury her head in the blanket and remain still. Yao Jianshe waited a moment, thinking Li Xuan wouldn't wake up, then reached in again, pulling up her bra. Finding Li Xuan still motionless, he began to knead her breasts. Under his caresses, Li Xuan felt a tingling, numb sensation she had never experienced before, and her heart began to stir. But she dared not move. After a while, he withdrew his hand, and Li Xuan felt a sense of loss. She listened intently and heard Yao Jianshe undressing. A wave of fear washed over her, but she knew she had expected this, so she endured it. Yao Jianshe took off his shirt and trousers, placing his hand on the inside of the bed, wearing only his underwear. His hand then went back to Li Xuan's breasts. After kneading for a while, he even lifted the blanket slightly from one side. Li Xuan felt her breasts were now exposed to the man's eyes. Fortunately, Yao Jianshe didn't lift the blanket covering her face, otherwise he would have seen the unnatural expression on her face. Yao Jianshe leaned over to look for a moment, then lowered his head and took one of Li Xuan's nipples into his mouth. The moment he put her nipple in his mouth, Li Xuan felt a tingling, electric-like sensation spread throughout her body. Her nipple was being licked back and forth by his tongue, and she felt something flowing out from her lower body. Li Xuan bit the blanket tightly, savoring the indescribable pleasure. Yao Jianshe continued to suckle her breasts, then got up, quickly moved a few steps barefoot, turned on the two wall lamps, and hurried back to the bed to examine them closely.

Li Xuan was filled with shame, yet remained motionless. Yao Jianshe pulled Li Xuan's top and bra up a little more, looked at her for a while, then bent down and took her nipple into his mouth, while his other hand caressed her other breast. Suddenly, Li Xuan felt a hand touch her crotch; that hand was caressing her private parts outside her underwear. Li Xuan felt a little dizzy; she felt so comfortable as that hand gently touched her private parts, and she felt something flowing out of her body.

At that moment, she felt the hand that had been caressing her private parts move away, and a moment later it slipped inside her abdomen, a finger sliding back and forth on her wet area. Li Xuan's body trembled slightly, but Yao Jianshe seemed not to notice and continued his actions. After a while, Li Xuan felt the hand move away again, and the mouth that had been touching her nipple also moved away. Yao Jianshe got up and completely pulled back the blanket below Li Xuan's knees, leaving only the blanket covering Li Xuan's neck and above.

Yao Jianshe knelt between Li Xuan's legs, reached out, and slowly pulled down Li Xuan's underwear. Li Xuan didn't move, her buttocks pressed against the underwear below her waist. Yao Jianshe freed one hand and gently lifted Li Xuan's buttocks, while the other hand pulled down the underwear slowly. Yao Jianshe finally saw a patch of not-too-dense grass on the raised ground. He looked closer and then pulled Li Xuan's underwear off from the heels, casually tossing it aside. He bent down and spread Li Xuan's legs apart, revealing a cleft that slowly opened, exposing the pink flesh inside. He ran his fingers along the two fleshy parts, then stroked the upper part with another finger. He saw Li Xuan's legs move slightly, so he stopped. When Li Xuan stopped moving again, he continued to stroke her. He moved his eyes closer, parted the two pieces of her vagina with both hands, and examined them for a while. Finally, his patience reached its limit. He quickly pulled down his shorts, revealing a thick, erect penis. He knelt between Li Xuan's legs, holding it in one hand, and rubbed it against her vulva, the tip covered in the fluid flowing from her body. Holding the thick penis, he slowly inserted it into the slightly open crevice.

Li Xuan felt the hot, hard object thrusting into her body, and instantly felt a painful swelling, a surge of electricity coursing through her body. Suddenly, Li Xuan felt a sharp, intense pain, an excruciating agony that she could no longer bear. Li Xuan cried out "Ah!" and pulled off the blanket, jumping up with a "Ouch!" She angrily demanded, "What...what are you doing?!" Yao Jianshe froze, his penis being pulled out by Li Xuan's swaying hips.

Yao Jianshe, panting heavily, trembled and said, "It's...it's me, don't shout." Li Xuan cried out, "You, you..." and struggled. Yao Jianshe shoved her down abruptly, saying, "I like you, I like you..." As he spoke, he pressed his body against Li Xuan's, one hand reaching down to his crotch, thrusting his erect penis back into her. Li Xuan felt even more pain, crying out, "It hurts, it hurts so much! Please, please get up!" Yao Jianshe ignored her, feeling his penis tightly enveloped inside Li Xuan. He felt that Li Xuan's vagina was much tighter than his wife's, making the thrusting incredibly pleasurable. Li Xuan struggled, but how could her frail body escape the lustful man? Yao Jianshe found her struggles even more stimulating, pressing her arms firmly down and thrusting his hips rapidly. After a series of thrusts, he ejaculated into Li Xuan's body.

Li Xuan seemed stunned, staring blankly at the man on top of her, panting heavily. Her mind was completely blank. Although all of this was within her expectations, she was still stunned by the unprecedented brutality. After a while, she saw Yao Jianshe still on top of her, suddenly snapped to attention, pushed him off, sat up abruptly, and bent over to look at her genitals. Sure enough, she saw a patch of faint red blood. She covered her aching area with her hand, staring blankly at Yao Jianshe, and said, "You raped me."

Yao Jianshe also came to his senses. He panicked when he saw the frightening expression on Li Xuan's face and heard her soft but piercing words. He looked at Li Xuan and stammered, "I...I...like...like you..." Li Xuan stared at him intently, without saying a word.

Li Xuan's eyes blazed with anger, and Yao Jianshe was terrified. His heart pounded wildly, and his smile vanished in an instant. Li Xuan said fiercely, "I'm going to sue you." Yao Jianshe turned pale with fright, and in that instant, he thought he was finished. He said in a trembling voice, "I...really...like you, I..." Li Xuan said, "You're a pervert!" Yao Jianshe's mouth dropped open in shock. Li Xuan said, "I'm a virgin, I'm still a virgin!" Yao Jianshe stared at her, his eyes wide.

Li Xuan glared at him and said, "We country folk value chastity, I value it even more! What do you take me for?!" Yao Jianshe was shocked and stammered, "You're a virgin, you're still... I..." Li Xuan said, "I'm a virgin, I've never been with anyone, I... I've never been!" Yao Jianshe said, "I... I didn't feel anything, I was too excited." Li Xuan raised her hand covering her genitals and held it in front of his face, saying, "Look for yourself." Yao Jianshe looked at the blood on her hand, then leaned over to look between Li Xuan's legs, and sure enough, he saw a bloodstain on the white sheet under her crotch. Li Xuan burst into tears and said angrily, "How am I supposed to live?!" Yao Jianshe said, "I was confused for a moment, I... I really didn't expect, didn't expect you to still be a virgin."

Li Xuan suddenly pulled the blanket over her head, lay down heavily, and began to cry bitterly. This crying was genuine, without any pretense. She was heartbroken that she had so easily lost her most precious womanly virtue; she was heartbroken that she had to fight for a better life like this; she was heartbroken for her fate; she was heartbroken for her pathetic state… Yao Jianshe looked at Li Xuan in a panic, pleading, “Don’t do this, please don’t do this, what if someone hears us…” Li Xuan cried, “So what if they hear us? How can I face them?”

Yao Jianshe paused for a moment and said, “Don’t worry, I will take responsibility for you.” Li Xuan pulled back the covers and said, “How can you take responsibility for me? You’ve already married me!” Yao Jianshe forced a smile and said, “I… I mean, I will arrange things for you, arrange your future work.”

Even though Li Xuan was heartbroken, she still heard Yao Jianshe’s words and felt a sense of relief. But she knew that she had to continue acting, and if she was going to act, she had to act convincingly. In the past few days, she had repeatedly rehearsed this scene in her mind.

Li Xuan pulled the blanket over her head, sobbing, "What job? I can't even survive! If I'd known you'd treat me like this, I wouldn't have come to you even if I didn't work. How could you do this to me? I'm still a virgin!" Yao Jianshe said, "I really didn't expect this. I thought..."

Li Xuan pulled the blanket back over her head and glared at him, saying, "What did you think? Did you think I was that kind of frivolous person? Ask Gao Peng. I've known him for over a year, and he hasn't even dared to touch me. That's what I care about most. I never imagined I'd be raped by you." Yao Jianshe said in shock, "I just acted impulsively. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Li Xuan cried, "Is this something to be sorry about? You think saying sorry will give me back my virginity?" Yao Jianshe looked at her without speaking. Li Xuan said, "You're a big pervert! You are... no, I'm going to report you!"

As she spoke, she suddenly stood up. Yao Jianshe hurriedly hugged her and said, "Don't get agitated, don't get agitated. Let's talk this out." Li Xuan said, "Even after all this, you still want to talk things out!" Yao Jianshe thought for a moment and said, "That's right, it's already like this, just listen to me for a bit. I just lost control for a moment, and since this has happened, it's irreversible. If you really want to sue me, I won't get away with it, and you'll lose face too, won't you?"

Li Xuan said, "What's the point of talking about shame now?" Yao Jianshe said, "Listen to me. Think about it, if you and I don't tell anyone, who will know? If no one knows, you won't be ashamed, and I'll be fine too. If you really sue me, won't we both suffer? I promise you, after you graduate, I'll definitely find a way to arrange the best job for you, and if possible, I'll even get you a government job. Wouldn't that be better for both of us?" Li Xuan said, "You make it sound so easy, but how can I face my husband afterward? If he hadn't seen me... would he be willing?" Yao Jianshe said, "You're a college student, you know many people don't bleed." Li Xuan said, "They are them, and I am me. This kind of thing is the most shameful. In my hometown, people hang themselves in the morning." Yao Jianshe said, "That's your hometown. You've been in the city for so many years, and your thinking is still so feudal." Li Xuan said, "I've always cared a lot about this. I never dreamed that I would be so roughly raped by you today. I'm in so much pain." After saying that, she started sobbing again.
Seeing her cry, Yao Jianshe shook his head helplessly, but he still had to speak. He pleaded, "I beg you, I've explained everything to you, why won't you listen?"

Li Xuan replied, "How can I accept this?" Yao Jianshe said, "I mean what I say. Don't worry, I'll do everything in my power to arrange a job for you. I keep my word. Otherwise, you can sue me later."

Li Xuan slowly stopped crying and sat there, lost in thought for a while. Seeing that she was somewhat tempted, Yao Jianshe said, "Think about it, isn't what I said reasonable? This is good for both of us." Li Xuan said, "But I just can't accept it. How can I trust you?" Yao Jianshe said, "How could a grown man like me go back on his word? Besides, I have the ability to do so." Li Xuan said, "Don't talk about being a grown man. Can I trust your words? You said at dinner that you treated me like a younger sister. Is this how you treat your younger sister?"

Yao Jianshe's face flushed red, and he was momentarily annoyed. After a long pause, he said, "Then what do you want me to do to make you believe me?" Li Xuan said, "I don't know." Yao Jianshe thought for a moment and said, "How about this, I'll write you a written agreement, guaranteeing that I will arrange your job properly." Yao Jianshe was really anxious now. He wanted to quickly resolve this situation that made him feel guilty and annoyed, and after thinking about it, this was the only way.

Li Xuan was secretly delighted after hearing this; this was exactly the result she wanted. So she said, "Fine, then you have to write down that you raped me today." Yao Jianshe was startled, his face showing difficulty as he said, "This...this isn't appropriate." Li Xuan said, "What's inappropriate about it? You clearly raped me. Didn't you just say you'd arranged things for me, and I accepted that? I won't do anything to you if you write it down, as long as you really do what you say in the future, I promise I won't hurt you or your family." Yao Jianshe said awkwardly, "But I feel..." Li Xuan glared at him and said, "I didn't force you to write it. You said you'd write me a statement. If you don't write about today's events, what's the point of writing anything else? I'm ashamed anyway. I'm going to the police station in a bit."

Yao Jianshe stared at her blankly for a while, thinking, even if I write it down for her, so what? She just wants to achieve her goal through this. Since I can arrange a job for her, anything I write now is just a piece of waste paper. Besides, this is the first time he's encountered a situation like this, and he doesn't know how to handle it. He's also very uneasy. He just wants to calm Li Xuan down as soon as possible. So he shook his head and smiled ingratiatingly, saying, "Look, here we go again. Okay, okay, I'll write it, I'll write it as you say."

As he spoke, he got off the floor, took a stack of papers from the cabinet where the television was kept, and said, "Tell me what to write." Li Xuan said, "Just write that you raped Li Xuan today, and that you will do your best to arrange a very good job for Li Xuan in this city when she graduates, otherwise Li Xuan can use this written statement to sue you for rape." Yao Jianshe smiled bitterly, shook his head, picked up a pen, quickly wrote on the paper, and handed it to Li Xuan. Li Xuan took it and looked at it, saying, "There's no signature at the bottom, how do I know who wrote this?" Yao Jianshe took it and looked at it, saying, "I forgot." Then he signed his name.

Li Xuan glanced at the paper, folded it up, and held it in her hand. She deliberately sighed and said, "I never imagined that I, who originally wanted to ask you for a favor, would end up trading my body for something." Yao Jianshe said dejectedly, "Sigh, don't say anything more." Seeing his expression, Li Xuan thought to herself that she had already achieved her goal and shouldn't put too much pressure on him. So she softened her tone and said, "Don't worry, I won't ask for anything more, and I won't ruin your family." Yao Jianshe said, "That's good. It's good for both of us. I trust you." Li Xuan looked at... He sighed heavily again and said, "I'm really upset right now. You should go back." Yao Jianshe thought for a moment and said, "Okay. Think it over carefully on your own." Li Xuan said, "It's come to this point, what's there to think about? I'm just feeling unwell and want to be alone." Yao Jianshe

nodded and started getting dressed, saying as he did so, "You still have a few days before school starts, right? There's no one at school anyway, so just stay here. Eat in the cafeteria, order whatever you want. I'll tell the manager, you don't need to pay." Li Xuan hummed in agreement. Yao Jianshe finished dressing. He stood by the bed and looked at Li Xuan for a while, then took out a wad of cash from his pocket and said, "Here's some pocket money. Go buy something if you want." Li Xuan shook her head and said, "I don't want it." Yao Jianshe said, "Look at you, just take it." Seeing that Li Xuan wouldn't take it, he put the wad of cash on the blanket and said, "Then I'm leaving." Li Xuan hummed in agreement again. Yao Jianshe walked to the door and looked back at Li Xuan, saying, "Try to think positively." Li Xuan ignored him. Yao Jianshe opened the door and went out.

Li Xuan listened to the footsteps fading away, got off the bed, ran to the door and locked it. She then hurriedly took out a handkerchief from under her pillow and wiped away the remaining filth. She then tore off a few pieces of paper from the table, carefully wrapped the handkerchief, and put it in her pocket. After sitting down in bed, she took the money Yao Jianshe had left behind, counted it, and found it to be more than three hundred yuan. She put it in her pocket. When she lay down, she felt a dull ache in her lower body. Her

heart ached, and she couldn't help but cry again. The next morning, Li Xuan went to the restaurant to resign, collected her wages for the past few days, took her simple toiletries and clothes from the restaurant, and returned to the electrical appliance factory's guesthouse. She turned on the TV, still thinking about what happened last night. She felt a sense of accomplishment, even though this initial success was achieved through dishonorable behavior, or even at the cost of sacrificing her chastity. She felt it was worth it. Regardless, she had now firmly grasped the man she could use to fulfill her desires. She thought, every woman has to go through this sooner or later. This first time, which all women cherish, she cherished just as much. But she didn't regret this loss. Although she had thought, hoped, and longed to give this precious first time to the man she deeply loved. She had even fantasized about shyly giving herself to her beloved husband on their wedding night. But where were he and the man she loved? Thinking of these things, a nameless resentment would rise within her: To hell with virginity! What good would keeping it do her?! What was she anyway, just an ordinary girl (no, now she was a woman—she thought), what power could she possibly have, how could she change her fate? Admittedly, getting into university was the first step, but after graduation, if she didn't have an ideal job and a satisfactory environment, she would just be an ordinary woman. She was ambitious; she believed herself to be capable. Given a platform to showcase her talents, she was determined to excel. She wanted to completely change her and her family's fate. At this point, she even looked down on the man who had taken her virginity—a man in his mid-thirties, still a section chief. She thought that when she reached his age, she would be far more powerful than him. Therefore, after graduation, she needed a highly desirable job, which she would obtain through this man. She was confident she could succeed in the future. Suddenly, she thought of Jiang Yuqi's courtship and shook her head inwardly, finding it laughable. She had never felt any love for him whatsoever; how could she accept him? Could he provide everything she desired? He was just a rural boy, much like herself. His own future career prospects were still uncertain.

She thought of Gao Peng again, shaking her head and giving a bitter smile. To be honest, she was still grateful to him. For over a year since she met him, he had provided her with meal tickets; she hadn't spent a single penny. Occasionally, when they went on dates, he would slip her some pocket money, though not much, but having grown up in a poor family, she was naturally frugal. Besides buying daily necessities, she also used some of her money for clothes. She didn't want to appear poor in front of her classmates, but she never wore anything outrageous; she only wanted to be like most of them. She rarely bought snacks and never compared herself to anyone.

Gao Peng never made any unreasonable demands of her, not even a kiss. The most he'd ever done was hold her hand for a short while. Li Xuan knew he wanted to, but she also knew he was afraid of her, specifically afraid that some of his actions might anger her and cause him to lose her. He was confident that sooner or later, Li Xuan would be his. Thinking of all this, Li Xuan felt sorry for Gao Peng, a faint sense of guilt and unease creeping in. But she quickly tried to justify herself. What could he possibly offer her besides begging his so-called cousin to keep her in the city? He was powerless to help her with her job prospects. Besides, he was now seen shopping with his ex-wife and child, indicating he still had feelings for her. Could she really get involved in such complicated emotions?

She knew Gao Peng absolutely couldn't know about her relationship with Yao Jianshe. It would severely damage his pride, and her image in his eyes would plummet. Should she continue their current relationship? She wondered if she should end things with Gao Peng, but the thought made her hesitant. She knew it was difficult to bring herself to say it. Li Xuan decided she should talk to Yao about it and see his attitude or thoughts. Or perhaps she should just let things take their course.

At lunchtime, Li Xuan left her room and said to a waitress in the duty room, "I'm so sorry, I'm on my period. I didn't realize I had soiled the sheets last night. Could you please change them for me?" The waitress smiled and agreed. After thanking him, Li Xuan went to the cafeteria and saw many people buying meals with meal tickets, so she went straight to Manager Zhao's office. Manager Zhao greeted her warmly when she entered. Li Xuan said, "I came to see you to buy some meal tickets." Manager Zhao thought to himself, "There's a special window for buying meal tickets; she's here to ask for them, not to buy them." But he still smiled and said, "Oh dear, you can't eat in the communal kitchen. How about this, I'll have the chef prepare a special meal for you and have a waiter deliver it to your room." Li Xuan smiled and said, "No need to be so polite. I'll be here for about ten days on business, and I don't want to keep bothering you like this."

As she spoke, she took out a wad of cash from her pocket and said, "Why don't you sell me some meal tickets? I can eat in the communal kitchen." Manager Zhao said, "How can I do that? Section Chief Yao will be upset." Li Xuan said, "Don't worry about him; this is my own idea." Manager Zhao thought for a moment, then looked at Li Xuan with a troubled expression and said, "Alright then, wait here for me for a while." He stood up and left.

A moment later, Manager Zhao entered the room with a stack of colorful meal tickets and handed them to Li Xuan, saying, "Take these hundred-yuan tickets first. You can get more later if it's not enough." Li Xuan nodded and said, "Okay." She went to count the money in her hand, but Manager Zhao hurriedly said, "I won't take your money. You take these meal tickets first, and I'll settle the bill with Section Chief Yao." Li Xuan said, "It wouldn't be right to ask my cousin to pay." Manager Zhao said, "You don't understand. I have something to say to him. Giving me money would be putting me in a difficult position."

Li Xuan stared at him for a moment and said, "Is that so? Okay, I'll take them first, and I'll talk to my cousin when I see him." Manager Zhao said, "Okay. Here's what you'll do: eat the communal meals first. If you don't like them, just tell me and we'll change to individual meals." Li Xuan smiled and said, "I'm not that delicate." After thanking him, she took the meal tickets and went to the dining room. After

dinner, she returned to her room and found that the sheets had been changed. She sat on the sofa, turned on the TV for a while, took off her clothes, and lay down on the bed. She didn't turn off the TV and curled up on the bed watching the screen. But then she thought, Yao Jianshe might come soon, and she wondered what she would say to him then. Suddenly, she realized she couldn't let him see her acting completely normal. So she got out of bed, grabbed the thermos, poured some hot water into a basin, soaked a towel in the water, and applied it to her eyes. After a while, she rubbed them vigorously with her hands. Looking in the mirror, she saw that her eyes were noticeably puffy, and felt satisfied. She turned off the TV and lay down on the bed.

Sure enough, half an hour later, Yao Jianshe opened the door and came in. Seeing Li Xuan asleep with her head covered, he walked to the bedside, sat down on the edge, and nudged her, asking, "Have you eaten?" Li Xuan didn't answer. Yao Jianshe pulled the blanket up, and Li Xuan struggled slightly. Yao Jianshe said, "Still angry?" Li Xuan sat up abruptly and said, "How dare you say that? I'm about to die!"

Yao Jianshe noticed her swollen, red eyes as she sat up and was startled. He said, "Don't be sad anymore. I'm just worried about you." Li Xuan said, "You're still worried about me? Then why are you bullying me like this?" Yao Jianshe chuckled dryly and said, "Don't I like you?" Li Xuan sneered and said, "You like my body. I've thought about it all night. You should divorce your wife and marry me." Yao Jianshe's heart tightened, and he stammered, "This, this, you..." "Last night you said you wouldn't interfere in my family..." Li Xuan said, "That's what I originally thought too, but I'm thinking about how to face my husband in the future. How to explain it to Gao Peng?"

Yao Jianshe asked in surprise, "You're still thinking about marrying him?" Li Xuan said, "He's treated me well, and I can't go against my conscience. He's taken care of me for over a year, and he hasn't even touched me. He even gave me two thousand yuan when my mother was sick. If he really doesn't want to remarry his ex-wife but wants me, what can I say?"

Yao Jianshe thought for a moment and said, "You're also a person with feelings. But I feel that what you're like..." "I shouldn't have married him," Li Xuan glared at him. "But he's been kind to me. I just don't understand how you can face your relative after raping me like this." Yao Jianshe's face instantly turned purple, and he laughed awkwardly, saying, "I knew he wasn't good enough for you, so I..." Li Xuan said, "I know that too, but people should have a conscience. What if he doesn't want to remarry his ex-wife and wants to marry me instead? What should I do?"

Yao Jianshe thought for a moment and said, "I'll handle this. Try to talk to him and persuade him to remarry." Li Xuan said irritably, "And..." "Try your best," Yao Jianshe said with an awkward smile. "I can only say 'try your best' right now. But even if he doesn't want to remarry, you still can't marry him. You shouldn't marry a man like him." Li Xuan was secretly delighted and said, "Then tell me, what kind of person should I marry? Marrying you is suitable, but you don't want me. I'm just your plaything." Yao Jianshe said, "Don't say such harsh things.

I mean, I'll try my best to arrange a good job for you in the future. You won't have to worry about not finding a good man!" Li Xuan said, "I'll remember what you said. Don't forget it when I graduate." Yao Jianshe said:

“I already have a written agreement in your hands, how could I…” He stopped, clearly feeling ashamed for writing the agreement under those circumstances last night, and blushed slightly, saying, “Besides, even if you didn’t have my written agreement, I couldn’t do something against my conscience.” Li Xuan said, “Fine, then I’ll see what you do next. Saying anything nice now is useless.” Yao Jianshe said,

“Then you’ll see what I do next.”

As he spoke, he reached out and put his arm around Li Xuan’s shoulder. Li Xuan struggled but couldn’t break free, so she stopped. Yao Jianshe said, “I really like you.” Li Xuan didn’t say anything. Yao Jianshe then leaned in to kiss her, but Li Xuan pushed him away, saying, “What are you doing? Trying to bully me?” Yao Jianshe chuckled. Li Xuan said, "Last night, you...you...I'm still bleeding, it hurts so much I don't want to move." Yao Jianshe glared at her and said, "Still bleeding?"

Li Xuan nodded and said, "You've really caused me a lot of trouble." Suddenly, she looked up with a panicked expression and said, "What if I get pregnant?" Yao Jianshe said, "One time won't hurt, right?" Li Xuan said,

"You put that thing all over me...and you say it won't hurt? I heard that if it goes in even a little bit, you'll get pregnant." Yao Jianshe laughed and said, "You really don't know anything. Sometimes it doesn't happen even after many times."

Li Xuan rolled her eyes at him and said, "How would I know? Who has as much experience as you?"

Yao Jianshe chuckled and said, "Then I'll wear a condom from now on." Li Xuan glared at him and said, "You still want that? You want to hurt me to death?" Yao Jianshe said, "Even if it hurts the first time, it's my fault for not knowing. If I had known you were still a virgin, I wouldn't have dared to be so rough." Li Xuan said, "I'm still scared when I think about it." Yao Jianshe said, "You'll know how pleasurable it is later." Li Xuan said, "I won't do it again, I'm too scared now, it hurts so much." Yao Jianshe said, "It'll be better in a couple of days, it's okay. Come on, let's go get something to eat." Li Xuan shook her head and said, "I've already eaten, I only ate a couple of bites and I don't want to eat anymore, I can't eat anything." Yao Jianshe said, "Try to be more open-minded, eat when you want to, order whatever you want."

Li Xuan then told him about going to buy meal tickets. Yao Jianshe frowned and said, "This won't do, we can't always eat from the same pot. Order whatever you want, he won't dare not cook for you." Li Xuan said:

“How could I accept that?” Yao Jianshe said. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve done so many things for him, what’s a little bit of money?” Yao Jianshe stood up to unbutton his coat. Li Xuan asked, “What are you planning to do?” Yao Jianshe smiled and said, “I’m going to sleep here for a while.” Li Xuan said seriously, “No, you want to sleep here but you want to… I’m in so much pain right now .” Yao Jianshe said with a grin, “I won’t touch you.” Li Xuan said, “I don’t believe you.”

Yao Jianshe looked at her for a while and said pitifully, “Look, I can’t go home right now, so I’ll just rest for a bit.” Li Xuan said, “Then go to another room to rest, I want to sleep for a while too.”

Yao Jianshe heard that there was no room for negotiation, so he said, “I really can’t.” Li Xuan said impatiently, “Oh, stop talking, just go.” Yao Jianshe shook his head and said, “Okay, I’ll have them get me another room, I won’t come back later.” Li Xuan hummed in agreement.

Yao Jianshe walked to the door and came back, took out two keys and said, "I almost forgot, these are the keys to the small door leading into the courtyard downstairs and this room. I made two copies for you, keep them safe. You won't need to ask them to open the door for you anymore." Li Xuan took them. Yao Jianshe left.

Love and Desire (49)

Chapter 47

After Ouyang Yiming returned to school and put his luggage in the dormitory, he went to the medical university with Fan Xurui, who had returned with him. When he got off the bus near the medical university, he asked Fan Xurui where there was a public phone. Fan Xurui pointed to the store across the street and said that there was one there. Ouyang Yiming said to Fan Xurui, "You go in first, I'll make a call." Fan Xurui said, "I'll wait with you for a while." Ouyang Yiming said, "It's inconvenient, understand?" Fan Xurui nodded and smiled and said, "Okay, it's inconvenient, I'll go first, don't delay you." After saying that, he turned and left.

After Fan Xurui left, Ouyang Yiming crossed the street and went into a store. He took out a small notebook from his pocket, looked up the switchboard number of the hospital where Liu Yan worked, dialed it, and told the operator to transfer him to Liu Yan's ward. His heart pounded as he waited for the call to come back; he wondered if Liu Yan was working that day. When someone answered, Ouyang Yiming said he was looking for Liu Yan. The person on the other end said to wait a moment. Ouyang Yiming knew Liu Yan was working, and he began to feel excited.

After another short wait, Liu Yan's voice came through, asking who it was. Ouyang Yiming suddenly wanted to tease her, so he changed his voice and said, "Is this Nurse Liu? This is from the military region." Liu Yan on the other end of the phone paused for a moment, muttered to herself, "Military region..." and then asked, "Hello, what's up?" Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but laugh and said, "Guess who I am?"

Liu Yan paused for a moment, then quickly laughed and said, "Guess my foot! When did you get back?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "How did you know it was me?" Liu Yan said, "Even if you change your voice, I'll still know. Just got back?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I just arrived this afternoon. I'm at my fellow villager's place at the medical university. I'll have dinner there tonight. How about we go for dinner?" Liu Yan asked, "Where?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Just there. It's not cold today." Liu Yan paused for a moment and said, "Okay then." Ouyang Yiming was still worried and said, "Do you know where I'm talking about?" Liu Yan laughed and said,

"Yes, I'm not stupid." Ouyang Yiming chuckled and said, "How about 7:30? I'll eat at my fellow villager's place and then we'll go." Liu Yan agreed and hung up the phone.

That evening, Ouyang Yiming and Fan Xurui ate at a small restaurant outside the school. They drank a little alcohol. Ouyang Yiming glanced at his watch; it was almost 6:30. He said, "Let's eat." Fan Xurui exclaimed in surprise, "Why did you only drink so little today?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "I'm not feeling well, a little dizzy. Let's eat and go back to school to sleep." Fan Xurui shook his head, staring at him, and said, "I don't believe you. You must have some plans tonight." Ouyang Yiming blushed slightly and said, "Interpret it however you like, I'm not drinking anymore, let's eat." Fan Xurui laughed, "Looks like you're in a hurry. Okay, I won't delay your plans. Let's eat."

After dinner, Ouyang Yiming hurried to the Meridian Gate Park. Having not seen his beloved for almost a month, Ouyang Yiming was eager to see her. Arriving at the park, he checked his watch; it was only 7:00. He secretly regretted saying they would meet at 7:30 on the phone.

The temperature wasn't too cold today; the weather had been sunny and pleasant these past few days. It was early March; although a chill still lingered, the air already carried the scent of spring. Even the wind wasn't biting. Although it was still winter, everything on earth was already stirring with life.

Ouyang Yiming waited anxiously for Liu Yan. He kept checking his watch, feeling as if time had frozen, wishing he could manually turn the hands to 7:30. He kept glancing towards the bus stop, hoping to see that familiar figure soon.

Another bus pulled into the station, the doors opened, and Ouyang Yiming held his breath, staring intently. Sure enough, he saw the figure he had been longing for getting off the bus. His heart pounded, and he rushed towards Liu Yan. Liu Yan also saw him, and her pace quickened. When they reached each other, neither of them spoke, their four eyes locked on each other's faces. After a while, Ouyang Yiming reached out and took Liu Yan's hand, saying, "I missed you so much." Liu Yan replied, "Me too." They smiled at each other and walked hand in hand into the park.

They arrived again under the tree they hadn't seen in so long. Ouyang Yiming pulled Liu Yan under the tree, and before he could even steady himself, he pulled her into his arms, their hot lips meeting in a passionate kiss. After a while, Liu Yan cupped Ouyang Yiming's face in her hands and said, "Let me see, have you gained weight?" After a moment, she nodded and said, "Yes, a little." Then she leaned in and kissed Ouyang Yiming on the lips. Ouyang Yiming looked at her and smiled, saying, "You're still the same, still so beautiful." Liu Yan shook her head and said, "I've aged! It's been a month, how could I not age?" They both giggled.

Ouyang Yiming suddenly picked her up, holding Liu Yan's buttocks as she straddled his waist, and said, "I just missed you so much." Liu Yan said, "Me too, I dream about you all the time." Ouyang Yiming kissed her cheek and said, "I just want to see you soon." Liu Yan said, "I was just thinking you were coming these two days. I got so excited when I heard my phone ring this afternoon. You lied to me, you spoke with a fake voice, you bad boy!" Ouyang Yiming said, "But you still recognized me, didn't you?" Liu Yan tapped his nose and said, "Even if you turned into a ghost, I would still recognize your voice."

Ouyang Yiming felt a reaction in his lower body, put her down, and reached out to touch her breasts. Liu Yan blocked him, saying, "Not today, I'm on my period." Ouyang Yiming asked,

"When did you get your period?" Liu Yan said, "Just the day before yesterday." Ouyang Yiming was disappointed and said with a bitter face, "How could it be such a coincidence, I just..." Liu Yan blushed and said shyly, "I wanted to too, but I couldn't."

Ouyang Yiming then reached out to touch her breasts again. Liu Yan said, "How can I bear it when you touch me like this?" Ouyang Yiming said, "But I... I really want to..." Liu Yan looked at him and said,

"I know, but please have some pity on me. Do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to be touched like this? Be good." Ouyang Yiming looked at her, nodded disappointedly, and took his hand away. Liu Yan smiled and

said, "That's a good boy." Ouyang Yiming said with a long face, "It's so annoying, why do I have to have this every month?" Liu Yan chuckled and said, "You silly thing, if I didn't have this, you wouldn't want me anymore. If I didn't have this, how could I give you a son?" Ouyang Yiming laughed too. Liu Yan said, "Let's go for a walk. Here, you miss me and I miss you, but we can't do anything, so let's just talk."

Ouyang Yiming nodded helplessly in agreement.

The two came out hand in hand. Liu Yan turned to him and asked, "Tell me, how did you spend the Spring Festival?" Ouyang Yiming said, "The same old routine." Liu Yan said, "At least you spent it with your family. Thinking about it, I feel much more pitiful. Luckily, my aunt is here. I spent New Year's Eve at my aunt's house. But that's not my own home."

Ouyang Yiming said, "You haven't spent the Spring Festival with your family for many years, have you?" Liu Yan sighed and said, "Since I joined the army, I've only spent one Spring Festival at home. Sigh, I really want to go back.

It would be nice to spend the Spring Festival with you here, but you have to go back too." Ouyang Yiming said, "Then I won't go back next Spring Festival. I'll stay here with you." Liu Yan smiled and said, "You're so sweet. If you're here, where will we spend it? I have to go to work. Should I leave you there alone? Even if there's a place for you, I can't bear to leave you alone."

Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Once I graduate, it'll be great. Then we can be together every day." Liu Yan nodded. After thinking for a moment, she looked up at Ouyang Yiming and asked, "Ouyang, tell me honestly, would you be willing to go back to Jianghan City with me?" Ouyang Yiming frowned and looked at her, saying, "Why are you suddenly bringing this up again?" Liu Yan said, "Actually, I don't really care where we live. I've been away from home for so many years, and I'm used to it. As long as I can be with you, that's fine." She paused slightly, then looked up at Ouyang Yiming again and said, "But I really don't want to take off this military uniform."

Ouyang Yiming looked at her suspiciously and said, "What does this have to do with whether you take off your uniform or not? Didn't you say we'd stay here?" Liu Yan said, "I did say that. But now there are rumors that military hospitals might be handed over to local authorities in the future. If that happens, I'll have to leave the military." Ouyang Yiming was a little surprised and asked, "Is this news reliable?" Liu Yan said, "It's just a rumor now, who knows what the future holds? Besides, if I stay here, I might have to be a nurse for the rest of my life." Ouyang Yiming was puzzled and said, "You're a nurse, aren't you?" Liu Yan shook her head and said, "But I don't want to be a nurse for the rest of my life."

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and seemed to understand, and asked, "Do you mean you can change careers if you go back to Jianghan City?" "?" Liu Yan smiled and nodded, saying, "Smart! My mother wrote again before the New Year and sent me some more money. After receiving the letter, I called home from my aunt's house. My mother started crying as she spoke, saying that she missed me more and more as the New Year approached, and just wanted the whole family to be together. My brother got married and settled in Zhengzhou, so he can't go back often, and my parents are quite lonely at home. I really felt heartbroken."

Liu Yan's eyes reddened, but she didn't shed a tear, and continued, "My mother said she hopes I can respect their wishes and transfer back. Didn't I reply last time that we'd talk about transferring back later?" "Well, Mom said that firstly, transferring me back would allow my family to reunite, and secondly, they could help me find a different job. Actually, they've already been working on it, and they've basically agreed on a position as a staff officer or something in the military headquarters. Ouyang, you see, I can't be a nurse forever, and it's not a good profession; it's not highly regarded in the military. Besides, I'm only a civilian cadre now, not an administrative cadre. If I'm ever transferred to a civilian position, I'll have to leave the military. A staff officer is an administrative cadre, which is different. If I can be transferred back this time, my aunt can transfer me to an administrative cadre position here."

“My parents originally wanted me to gain experience for a few years, but now I'm getting older and it's time to think about marriage. I can't keep doing this forever. So I wanted to ask for your opinion.

If you really don't want to come back with me, then I'll just have to continue doing this, and I'll ask my aunt to use her connections to keep you here.”

Ouyang Yiming thought for a while and said, “Actually, I don't really care where I live. As long as we can be together in the future, that's fine. I just have a small psychological barrier, and I wanted to tell you about it. Maybe I'm overthinking it.” Liu Yan said, “Just say what you want to say.” Ouyang Yiming said, “That's right, just…” "I'm afraid that if I live with your parents in the future, they might look down on me. That's what I fear most."

Liu Yan frowned and said, "What kind of thinking is that? You're not a good-for-nothing; you have your own abilities. You're a student at a prestigious university; people should respect you.

How can you imagine a family like ours to be so terrible? I'm saying there's something wrong with your thinking." Ouyang Yiming said, "It's also because I've never been in contact with a family like yours; in my mind, I always feel that you are different from us." Liu Yan said, "That's just a problem with your perception; actually, you're all ordinary..." "If you were to integrate into such a family, you would feel very ordinary," Ouyang Yiming said. "Perhaps many people would think the same way I do." He paused, then added, "In that case, I should respect your opinion. I'm not a selfish person."

Liu Yan suddenly became excited, shaking Ouyang Yiming's hand and saying, "I knew you would agree after I explained it to you. To be honest, I was really afraid you wouldn't agree, and I was a little hesitant to say it just now." Ouyang Yiming frowned and said, "On the other hand, I don't want to rely on your parents to do anything for me, so I don't feel indebted to them later." Liu Yan accepted his words

. She smiled and said, "I don't know if all college students are like you, or if you're the only one. You always feel like you don't need to rely on anyone after a few years of college, but things in society are complicated. You don't understand until you've entered society. You can't get by without connections! It's always been the same, hasn't it? At the very least, we're going back to Jianghan together. We need to arrange jobs, right? My parents have arranged jobs for you, but you're not willing to accept them? What ability do you have to find a good job on your own? Even for my sake, you can't refuse your parents' help." Ouyang Yiming blushed as he looked at her, but remained silent.

Liu Yan glanced at him and continued, "Look at other people, even those without connections are trying to find ways to do so. But you, we have connections right here, you don't have to lift a finger, and you're not happy about it. Besides, my parents arranged this job for you, isn't it all for their daughter's sake? Sometimes you seem quite clever, sometimes you're so naive. You have this sour, student-like air about you."

Ouyang Yiming blushed, lowered his head shyly, and said, "You really know how to insult people." Liu Yan said, "I'm not insulting you. Think about what I said, isn't it reasonable?" Ouyang Yiming

looked up at her, smiled, and nodded, saying, "If what you said isn't reasonable, then who is? " "Logically speaking, you're almost ready to be a cadre, how could you not know how to do ideological work?" He paused, then stared at Liu Yan's face, teasing her, "Hey, I'm starting to realize you really shouldn't be a nurse, being a nurse is such a waste of your talents." Nodding, he said, "Yeah, you look more and more like a cadre candidate."

Liu Yan laughed, raised her hand and slapped him, saying, "You're getting more and more cheeky. Your wife is capable and you're not happy?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Of course I'm happy. As long as she's not better than me, I'm happy. If she's really better than me, I'll have to put up with her." Liu Yan said, "I'll never be better than you in this lifetime. Going to university is only for my next life, this life I'll just have to put up with your temper." They both laughed.

After walking a few steps, Ouyang Yiming stopped as if he remembered something and asked, "When did you say I'd be transferred back?" Liu Yan looked at him and said, "It's better to do this sooner rather than later. My mother said on the phone that if I make up my mind, I should write back, and they'll start processing the details for me immediately." Ouyang Yiming's heart sank, and he said, "So that means it'll be quick." Liu Yan nodded and said, "It should be quick. However, this is a transfer across military regions, which is a bit difficult and might take a while. But it's not a problem. You know my aunt works in the cadre department of our military region. My parents can handle things in Jianghan because they've already started lobbying. Without connections, transferring across military regions is indeed very difficult, unlike Jinling's transfer within her own military region. For me to be transferred, both our military region and the other military region need to be willing to accept me."

Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "It's so troublesome." He paused, then frowned and said, "But I still have more than a year until graduation. That means we'll be separated for a year!" Liu Yan said, "I don't want to either, but we can't just think about the present. We're not young anymore. We can't act like children. I think going back sooner has many advantages, both for us. During this time, I can gradually tell my parents about our relationship, so they can quickly arrange a job for you when you graduate. For me, adapting to a new environment sooner will be beneficial for my future development. As for what you said about being separated for a year, how could I not have thought about it? To be honest, I really don't want to. But we need to think long-term. A year isn't..." "It's only a little over three hundred days, and even if we're here for those three hundred days, we can't be together every day. There are still decades to come, and by then you'll probably find me annoying being with you every day."

Ouyang Yiming said, "Actually, what you said makes a lot of sense, I understand, but wanting to not see you for a year makes me feel..." Liu Yan interrupted him, "I understand. Actually, I've thought about it even more; I don't want to be separated from you. It's just that I believe in your feelings for me, which is why I made this decision." Ouyang Yiming looked at her and asked, "What you mean by..." Liu Yan blurted out two words: "Xu Hui." After saying that, she turned to look at him and said, "Even if you're unhappy, I have to say it. That's what I really think."

Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat, and he immediately remembered Xu Hui's situation at his home. His face involuntarily turned red.

Liu Yan said, "I trust you with everything except this. But then I thought, even if I'm with you every day, how can I stop your heart? I believe you won't, and I trust my own eyes." Although Ouyang Yiming thought to himself that he would never develop a romantic relationship with Xu Hui, he still felt guilty and said, "Just trust me. I don't want to say much more about this. You should know how I feel about you.

" Liu Yan glanced at him and said, "Of course I know. But I'm still worried. If you really let me down, then I'll just consider myself blind." Ouyang Yiming said irritably, "Look at you, you've gone off on a tangent." Liu Yan said, "I'm speaking from the heart. I've given you my heart and body; I've already considered you a part of my body, half of my life. You know how important you are to me." Ouyang Yiming said, "Aren't I the same as you?" Liu Yan said, "That's why I'm relieved now."

Ouyang Yiming looked at her and said, "You're reminding me, warning me, and I understand." Liu Yan laughed, "Good that you understand. Even if I leave here, I'll write you many letters to warn you." Ouyang Yiming said, "You don't say anything, but I understand perfectly well. I'm actually afraid of you..." Liu Yan opened her eyes and looked at him, saying, "Afraid of what! Don't be so sarcastic." Ouyang Yiming laughed, "Look at you, you're the only one who can say a word against me. It seems I'm doomed in this life." Liu Yan laughed, "Regretful? It's too late to regret it now. I won't allow you to say anything against me. I've given you everything, and you still criticize me?! You don't even know how to cherish a woman." Ouyang Yiming said, "I'll pay attention in the future, I'll definitely be more considerate of women." The two laughed.

After laughing, Liu Yan said, "If you really agree, I'll write back to my mother." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "I'll listen to you then." Liu Yan said, "I'm being serious. If you really have any other thoughts, just say them. We need to discuss everything. It's not a matter of whether you listen to me or not." "Ouyang Yiming said, 'What you say makes sense, how could I not listen? The pitiful thing is that I'll have to be a monk for over a year.' Liu Yan laughed, 'Even if I were here, I wouldn't let you do that every time. I'd just let you hold it in, and it'd drive you crazy!' Ouyang Yiming laughed, 'You're really willing to do that.' Liu Yan said, 'What's there to be unwilling about? What good can come from thinking about this every day?' Ouyang Yiming argued, 'Who thinks about this every day? It's only when I'm with you that I think about it...' Liu Yan said, 'Well, now's perfect. I'll leave you for a while, and you won't think about it anymore!' Ouyang Yiming said, 'Thinking about it is pointless.'

Liu Yan giggled and said, 'Alright, let's not talk about this anymore. If we do, your mind will start wandering again. We've finalized my transfer today. I asked for your consent, so don't say anything against me later.' Ouyang Yiming sighed and said, 'What can I say about you? As long as you're happy, I'm happy too.'" Liu Yan opened her eyes wide and looked at him, saying, "You still seem unwilling." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "No, that's not true. Jokes aside, I understand and comprehend this matter."

Love and Desire (50)

Chapter 48

When Li Xuan went to have dinner, she saw Jiang Yuqi at the entrance of the restaurant. The two looked at each other, blushed, and smiled. Li Xuan walked closer and asked, "Have you seen Ouyang?" Jiang Yuqi said, "After I got to the dormitory, I saw his luggage on the bed, but I haven't seen him since." Li Xuan nodded and said, "Then he probably hasn't gone back yet and is eating at his fellow villager's place." Jiang Yuqi asked, "Do you need to see Ouyang Yiming for something?" Li Xuan said, "Nothing much, just asking." Jiang Yuqi didn't believe it, but didn't ask again. Entering the cafeteria, Li Xuan glanced around the hall and saw Xu Hui already eating at a table. She smiled at her and went to the window to queue for food.

At that moment, she saw Gao Peng, and her heart suddenly felt tense and flustered. Gao Peng stood in the food counter with his hands behind his back, smiling at the people buying food outside through the glass. Li Xuan knew he was looking at her, gave him an unnatural smile, and lowered her head. In that instant, Yao Jianshe's image flashed through her mind again. She blushed instantly. At that moment, she felt as guilty as a wife having an affair.

She lowered her head and moved forward with the other people buying food. When she reached the window, she looked up and glanced at where Gao Peng had been standing. Seeing that he was no longer there, she felt a little relieved. She thought to herself, why do I feel such guilt towards him? She wasn't his wife now, and they weren't even anything. He was the one who was dating his ex-wife behind her back. She had seen it; if she hadn't, he probably wouldn't have told her. Perhaps he had already had that kind of relationship with his ex-wife.

The reason she had the idea of having a relationship with Yao Jianshe was because she saw Gao Peng with his ex-wife, and she was forced to have that idea. She never had such thoughts before; she wholeheartedly wanted to marry him. Now, what happened between Yao Jianshe and her was all his fault; he was the one who wronged her first. What did she have to feel guilty about? Thinking this, she felt surprisingly at peace. Her mind calmed down.

Li Xuan thought about getting her food and sat down next to Xu Hui, saying, "I just asked Jiang Yuqi, and he said Ouyang hasn't come back yet. I don't think he'll be back for dinner. I don't know when he'll be back tonight. I'll just wait until I have time to give it to him." Xu Hui nodded and said, "Okay." After taking a bite of food, she looked up and said, "I don't know why he and his fellow villager are so close; they're always together."

Li Xuan whispered jokingly, "Could they be gay?" Xu Hui chuckled, blushing as she glanced at her and said, "Are you even serious? How can you say something like that?" Li Xuan laughed and said, "You never know, otherwise why would two men always be together? When I saw Ouyang, he had his arm around that man's shoulder, they were so intimate."

Xu Hui laughed, kicked her under the table, and said, "Keep talking nonsense! Nothing good comes out of your mouth." She took a bite of rice and said, "They grew up together, they're like brothers. I've heard him say that. They just brag and drink together. These men, they like to drink all the time, I don't know what's so good about it." Li Xuan smiled, tilting her head to look at her while her mouth moved, swallowed the rice, and then said, "You really need to keep an eye on him. Drinking addiction is no small matter."

Xu Hui smiled and joked, "Then you help me keep an eye on him." Li Xuan deliberately widened her eyes, looking at her seriously and said, "You said it, don't regret it." "Do you think I can control him?"

Xu Hui, with a mouthful of rice in her mouth, almost spat it out upon hearing this. Trying hard to stop laughing, she looked around, afraid of being laughed at for her lapse, and blushed, saying, "I can't eat with you, or I'll choke to death." Li Xuan chuckled softly and said, "I won't say anymore, or I don't think you'll be able to eat. If you tell Ouyang I said he's gay, he'll eat me alive." Xu Hui lowered her head and laughed, saying, "With his size, he'd probably pick you up like a chicken." Li Xuan stuck out her tongue and said, "I won't say it again. Don't tell him, I'm afraid he'll pick me up." The two of them then chuckled softly.

After taking a few bites of food, Xu Hui turned to look at Li Xuan and said, "I went to buy meal tickets earlier and took a closer look at Gao Peng. I found that he's actually quite a kind person." Hearing Xu Hui mention Gao Peng, Li Xuan thought of Yao Jianshe again. She felt a little annoyed. She didn't answer Xu Hui immediately, and after a few more bites, said impatiently, "Don't mention him." Xu Hui noticed her tone was off, turned to look at her, and then remembered what Li Xuan had said about Gao Peng shopping with his ex-wife, inwardly blaming herself for not thinking of it earlier. Li Xuan lowered her head and said, "I get annoyed just thinking about him." Xu Hui blushed slightly, looked at her, and said nothing more.

At this moment, Li Xuan's mind was still churning with thoughts of Gao Peng and Yao Jianshe. The simultaneous thought of these two men made her feel somewhat agitated. For a moment, she felt a vague unease, but she didn't even know which man it was about. After that, the two ate in silence, without speaking again.

After finishing their meal, the two walked along the road. Li Xuan said, "I think there's definitely no future for Gao Peng and me." Xu Hui turned to look at her and said, "Didn't you say that as long as he can arrange your job, that's fine?" Li Xuan nodded and said, "But I also said that if he remarries his ex-wife, he'll definitely want my body before he'll agree." Xu Hui's heart skipped a beat, and she gasped. She thought to herself, "That's true." Since Gao Peng doesn't plan to marry Li Xuan, Li Xuan will definitely have to pay a price for Gao Peng to willingly do anything for her. She thought to herself, "If it were me, I wouldn't do it even if I didn't want to; I wouldn't use my body as a price to get anything." Although Li Xuan herself had said that, she was still worried about Li Xuan.

Li Xuan said, "I really hope he can remarry his ex-wife." Xu Hui nodded and said, "Yes, no matter how you look at it, you two aren't really a good match. But, no matter what, you did something you shouldn't have done, knowing it was impossible for you to be with Gao Peng. We're good friends, I'm only saying this because I consider you a sister. Before, I only thought you and Gao Peng could get married, but now it seems like things might not work out. You absolutely mustn't be foolish, you can't do anything stupid for your job. You'll despise yourself and regret it for the rest of your life."

Li Xuan lowered her head, her face flushed red. She understood what Xu Hui meant. She thought to herself, "I don't have your kind of fate. My fate is inherently lowly. If I grew up in your environment, I would think the same way. But I have no background, no connections, right? I want to change my fate, right? What can I do?

" Li Xuan thought to herself, "Now that I have this kind of relationship with Yao Jianshe, how could I possibly have something with Gao Peng?" She said, "Don't worry about that. If I can't marry Gao Peng, I will never let him touch me. Never." Xu Hui breathed a sigh of relief and said, "You're right. Don't we women care about our reputation?!" Li Xuan sighed inwardly. If Xu Hui found out about her relationship with Yao Jianshe, she would probably be the first to look down on her. She thought to herself, "I will never let you know about my relationship with Yao Jianshe." She looked up at the sky and said, "I won't say anything more. Let fate decide." Her mind drifted back to Gao Peng, who had been smiling at her earlier. She wondered how she should handle her relationship with Gao Peng.

Li Xuan really didn't know how to deal with her relationship with Gao Peng. She was hoping for the good news that Gao Peng would agree to remarry his ex-wife. Since she no longer needed Gao Peng to handle her affairs, she certainly didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. But she also knew that even though Gao Peng was now shopping with his ex-wife and daughter, a quick remarriage was impossible, especially with her, the woman Gao Peng cherished, in the picture. So, if Gao Peng doesn't want to remarry his ex-wife, how should she handle her relationship with him? Although Yao Jianshe said he would persuade Gao Peng to remarry, would Gao Peng listen to Yao Jianshe? This is no small matter; it's a very serious issue. Gao Peng will inevitably compare himself to his ex-wife.

Li Xuan secretly hoped that Gao Peng would consider the child and remarry that woman. She hoped Yao Jianshe would quickly persuade Gao Peng to remarry. But she didn't need to urge Yao Jianshe; she knew that persuading Gao Peng required waiting for the right opportunity. This wasn't something that could be done whenever she wanted. Yao Jianshe couldn't very well come to the school to talk to Gao Peng about it. So, when would Yao Jianshe be able to bring it up with Gao Peng? Every day Gao Peng refused to remarry his ex-wife was a worry for Li Xuan.

Suddenly, she wondered if she could help them meet. So she had this idea: could she bring up her work when she went to Gao Peng's place to get her meal tickets, putting some pressure on him? That way, Gao Peng would definitely contact Yao Jianshe, and Yao Jianshe would have the opportunity to talk to Gao Peng about his remarriage. But to do that, she would have to tell Yao Jianshe her idea beforehand.

She felt a little excited thinking about it. But then she thought, Gao Peng hadn't mentioned his ex-wife's request for remarriage to Yao Jianshe, so why would Yao Jianshe bring it up the moment they met? Gao Peng would definitely ask Yao Jianshe how he knew about it. Would Yao Jianshe feel guilty about their relationship? She thought that even though Yao Jianshe seemed very comfortable in front of her, he wouldn't feel sorry for Gao Peng; after all, they were relatives. So, if Yao Jianshe felt guilty and felt sorry for Gao Peng, would he show any unnatural expressions or emotions in front of him? If so, Gao Peng would definitely be suspicious.

She thought this matter needed to be taken seriously; if Gao Peng knew about her relationship with Yao Jianshe, he might do something drastic. By then, her shameful secret might be exposed. If it were, it would become a huge scandal, not only ruining her reputation at school, but also Yao Jianshe's woman. All her plans would be ruined. Thinking of this, she trembled. She thought

to herself, why rush things? It might backfire. There's still over a year until graduation. Anyway, she would never consider marrying him again. He wasn't involved in her work situation anymore. They didn't date often, and he hadn't made any inappropriate advances. It was better to wait and see. Perhaps

Gao Peng would reveal his desire to remarry. And most importantly, she didn't have to pay for meals. She thought she should consider things more carefully.

Seeing Li Xuan walking with her head down and not speaking, Xu Hui asked, "What are you thinking about?" Li Xuan came back to her senses and said, "I'm thinking about how miserable my life is. Life, work, and love are all uncertain. Unlike you guys who are so happy." As she said this, she suddenly thought of how she couldn't even go home for the New Year because of work, and how she was forced into a situation akin to selling herself

for a living. Her heart ached, and tears welled up in her eyes. Hearing her plaintive voice, Xu Hui's heart trembled. She thought to herself that she didn't know if Gao Peng and his ex-wife would remarry, and Li Xuan must be worried about her job. She secretly blamed herself for bringing up Gao Peng earlier. She comforted her, saying, "Don't think too much about it. I think Gao Peng will arrange things for you no matter what." Hearing this, Li Xuan knew that Xu Hui understood that she was worried about her job, so she echoed Xu Hui's words, "I hope so. Now I can only leave it to fate." She smiled and said, "Let's not talk about it anymore. It upsets me just thinking about it."

The next day at noon, on their way to the canteen, Xu Hui and Wu Yingying saw Ouyang Yiming and Jiang Yuqi. Xu Hui called out to Ouyang Yiming. Jiang Yuqi and Wu Yingying smiled at them and walked away a few steps. Xu Hui looked at him and asked, "You went drinking with your fellow villager again last night, didn't you?" Ouyang Yiming was startled and asked, "Yes. How did you know?" Xu Hui said,

"Li Xuan asked Jiang Yuqi and said you hadn't returned. Yesterday, Li Xuan saw you going out with your fellow villager.

" Ouyang Yiming breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Yesterday, when I went to the dormitory, not many people were there. Fan Xurui said he wanted to go to his school together, and we drank some wine together in the evening." Xu Hui gently teased,

"Why do you always drink so much? You'll become a drunkard by now." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "I don't really like drinking. It's just that Xurui wanted to drink. I'm not like him, who's addicted to alcohol. He always wants to have a few drinks." Xu Hui said, "You'll pick up bad habits from him by now."

Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "No, it's not like that. Drinking isn't addictive. I can drink, but I'm not addicted. Unlike Jiang Yuqi." He paused, then turned to her and asked, "Li Xuan contacted me last night? What did she want?" Xu Hui smiled and said, "It wasn't Li Xuan who contacted you, it was me. I brought you some snacks from Suzhou, and I wanted Li Xuan to give them to you, but I felt awkward delivering them myself."

Ouyang Yiming turned to look at her and said, "Why did you bring those things? I'm a grown man, and I don't really like those snacks." Xu Hui said, "That wasn't my idea. I did say you might not like sweets. Before I came, my mother and I went shopping, and she insisted on buying some for you, saying you'd never tried our local specialties. She bought you a big bag and wanted me to bring them." She smiled and said, "My mom loves you." Ouyang Yiming blushed, feeling a little uneasy.

Turning to look at Xu Hui, he said, "You keep it for yourself, I don't like it either." Xu Hui said, "How can I? My mom bought this for you. If I eat it before you get it, won't Mom blame me?" Ouyang Yiming frowned and said, "How am I supposed to eat all that stuff in the dorm? What am I supposed to say if people ask? It's all Suzhou specialties, people will know immediately. Aren't you afraid of what they'll say?"

Xu Hui thought for a moment and nodded, "That's true. I didn't think about that." She paused and said, "Look at my mom, I told her not to buy it for you, but she insisted. Carrying all this stuff on the way here is exhausting, and now they won't even accept it. It's true what they say, 'You put in the effort but get no reward.' I'm just putting in the effort..." "And you'll have to pay for it." Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but laugh, saying, "I appreciate it. Just share it with your roommates." Xu Hui said, "I won't give it to them. I'd feel bad if they ate all that food." Ouyang Yiming laughed, "Look at you, they'll praise you even after they eat it." Xu Hui said, "No need. It's enough that you say you're good to me."

She walked a few steps with her head down, then suddenly said excitedly, "Then how about this, I'll mail these to your family so they can try them." Ouyang Yiming's heart tightened, he frowned, and looked up at her, saying, "That's too much trouble. Forget it!" Xu Hui was still very excited, saying, "It's my business. I don't need your praise. Your family will say good things about me." Ouyang Yiming shook his head. He thought to himself that Xu Hui was going to mail these things home, and his grandmother might say something good about Xu Hui. At that moment, Liu Yan suddenly came to mind, and he thought to himself, what kind of ending will this relationship between him and Xu Hui have in the future? His heart felt heavy.

Xu Hui glanced at Ouyang Yiming, saw that he was thinking about something, and didn't want to say anything more to him. Thinking that she had mailed these things to Ouyang Yiming's house, the old lady and his family would definitely say a lot of good things about her, and she became extremely excited. She looked up and called out to Wu Yingying who was walking ahead. Jiang Yuqi and Wu Yingying stopped. Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui caught up, and Wu Yingying looked at the two of them and said with a smile: "Jiang Yuqi and I were just talking. Looking at how affectionate you two are, you haven't seen each other for a whole holiday, how could you not miss each other?" Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui blushed, and Jiang Yuqi smiled at Ouyang Yiming. Xu Hui raised her hand and hit Wu Yingying and said: "You're just talking nonsense." Ouyang Yiming didn't say anything, and walked towards the canteen with the three of them chatting and laughing.

Love and Desire (51)

Chapter 49

It was almost the end of March in the Gregorian calendar. This year's spring warmth obviously came a little late, and the temperature was still a bit low. Although the wintery atmosphere hadn't completely faded, the buds on the branches had already begun to open slightly, revealing tender shoots that timidly and curiously observed the world. Their arrival, full of longing and hope, would inevitably face the test of storms, ultimately ending in withered leaves and a helpless departure. The air, though cool, carried a hint of warmth. All things would soon revive in the gentle spring breeze, and the vibrant green of life would soon blanket the earth. During this time,

Ouyang Yiming and Liu Yan went on two dates. Ouyang Yiming asked her about his transfer, and Liu Yan said it was being processed. During their date after Ouyang Yiming returned from vacation, they decided to call Liu Yan's mother the next day. Her mother was happy, saying the transfer was no problem, but that transferring across military regions involved some complicated procedures, and told her not to worry. Liu Yan and Ouyang Yiming shared the same feelings: on one hand, they hoped to receive the transfer order soon, but on the other hand, they were terrified of the day it would arrive. Sometimes Liu Yan really wished the transfer would be completed slowly. Although they couldn't see each other every day, being in the same city made her feel secure.

Sometimes, lying in bed at night, Liu Yan would think of Xu Hui, wondering if she and Ouyang Yiming would get together after being separated. The thought filled her with fear and panic, and she even considered giving up the transfer. Then she comforted herself, telling herself that Ouyang Yiming was absolutely sincere towards her. If he and Xu Hui were truly in love, they would have already fallen for each other, since they were together every day. She also thought that even if she didn't transfer and stayed here, if Ouyang Yiming really had feelings for Xu Hui, she could stop him. She reassured herself that Ouyang Yiming wouldn't betray her.

He loved her. His heart was sincere. She trusted his character.

Towards the end of the month, Liu Yan's transfer procedures were finally completed. She received the transfer order on Thursday afternoon. The first thing she thought of upon receiving the order was to tell Ouyang Yiming the news, and she wanted to go to his school. But she held back. She knew Ouyang Yiming didn't want her to go to their school, and thinking that she would see him in two days, no matter how anxious she was, she didn't want to upset him when she left.

These past two days, she had been busy handling some procedures. Although not troublesome, some required her personal attention. Her colleagues were also busy seeing her off and congratulating her, mostly expressing envy that she could work in her birth city, close to her parents. Of course, some were envious, but they could only keep their jealousy to themselves. They knew that things that seemed difficult to them could only be easily accomplished by a high-ranking official's daughter like Liu Yan.

On Saturday afternoon, Liu Yan returned from the logistics department. A female colleague from the orthopedics department met her and said that she and several colleagues would be seeing Liu Yan off at the hospital's snack bar that evening. Liu Yan thought to herself that evening was her date with Ouyang Yiming, and nothing could change that. Besides thanking her colleagues, she apologized for going to her aunt's house that evening, saying she appreciated their thoughtfulness.

My colleague said they had already made arrangements with the others, but it wouldn't be good to delay your trip to your aunt's house to discuss important matters. They suggested we notify the others to reschedule for tomorrow night.

After returning to the dorm, I put some materials away, thinking it wouldn't be appropriate to eat at the cafeteria and explain to my colleagues if I ran into them, so I left the hospital directly. Looking at my watch, it wasn't even six o'clock yet. Remembering our agreed meeting at seven, I took a bus to the vicinity of the park, walked into a quiet little street, and bought a bowl of wontons

from a small shop. While eating, I secretly blamed myself for not letting him come earlier on our last date; I feared we wouldn't even have a chance to eat together before I left. The thought of leaving him brought a pang of sadness. After finishing my meal, I saw I still had some time, so I wandered around a nearby shop and bought a large bag of nutritional supplements without much thought. As I left the shop, I thought I should give him something before leaving, but I couldn't think of anything. I realized I hadn't gone out during the day to see if there was anything he might need, and I scolded myself for being careless. Then she thought, why not leave him some money so he can buy whatever he needs? She felt like a wife about to leave on a long journey, unable to let go of her beloved husband at home. She worried that if she left, Ouyang Yiming wouldn't know how to live.

Fifteen minutes before seven o'clock, Liu Yan carried the bag into the park and saw Ouyang Yiming's all-too-familiar figure in the distance. Her heart pounded. She so desperately wanted to see him, yet now she approached him so reluctantly. She had hoped for a meeting filled with joy and hope, like all before. But this time, she brought him news of her departure in two days. Although they had been mentally prepared, seeing him in person still felt like a dream, unbelievable. In this complex mix of emotions, she quickly approached Ouyang Yiming.

Ouyang Yiming saw her too, and at the same time noticed the bag she was carrying. He quickly went up to her and asked, "Where did you come from? And what are you carrying?" Liu Yan replied, "Where else could I come from? From the hospital. I got here early." Ouyang Yiming asked, "I've been here for a while now, why haven't I seen you?" Liu Yan looked closely at him and said, "I didn't eat at the hospital. I just had a bowl of wontons over there, thinking you wouldn't come this early. So I bought you something at the store over there."

Ouyang Yiming looked at her questioningly, his heart pounding. He wondered if Liu Yan had finished her transfer. Before he could say anything, Liu Yan said, "It's done." Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat, and he couldn't speak. Liu Yan looked at him and said, "I'm leaving next week." After saying this, his heart ached, tears welled up in his eyes, and he lowered his head. Ouyang Yiming, having recovered his composure, took the things from Liu Yan's hands and said, "Let's go for a walk inside." Liu Yan nodded, and as she took a step, she grabbed Ouyang Yiming's arm and rested her head on his shoulder.

Ouyang Yiming said, "I didn't expect it to be so fast." Liu Yan said, "It's been almost twenty days since we started processing it, so it's not exactly fast." Ouyang Yiming said, "It still feels so sudden when I find out." He felt a pang of sadness. Liu Yan said, "I feel like I'm dreaming; I can hardly believe it's real." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yeah, last time I saw you you said it wasn't done yet, I didn't expect it to be so fast." Liu Yan said, "The transfer order came down the day before yesterday. I didn't know how I felt when I received it. People congratulated me, but I felt a bit conflicted." Ouyang Yiming didn't speak; he understood Liu Yan's feelings.

As they spoke, they arrived at the tree, and the two went inside. Ouyang Yiming hung the bag of groceries on a tree branch and said, "Why did you buy all this?" Liu Yan replied, "The thought of leaving makes me worry about you. I'm afraid you won't be able to take care of yourself. Actually, I haven't taken good care of you here, but I don't know why, I just can't let you go now, afraid you'll suffer." Ouyang Yiming silently hugged her tightly, and after a long while, he said, "I really can't bear to part with you." Hearing his voice choked with emotion, Liu Yan couldn't help but shed tears again.

The two of them remained silently embracing, their hearts heavy with sorrow, as if they were about to lose each other. After a while, Liu Yan lifted her head from Ouyang Yiming's shoulder, looking at him with teary eyes, and said, "I really regret it a little." Ouyang Yiming said, "Don't say that. We were mentally prepared for this, but it still feels very sudden." He paused, took a breath, and said, "It's also a good thing."

Liu Yan nodded and said, "I know that in my heart, but it just feels like I can't accept it. Thinking about leaving this city where I've lived for so many years, and perhaps not coming back often in the future. Leaving my comrades, I don't know when I'll see them again. Especially thinking about leaving you soon, even though I know our separation is only temporary, it still feels terrible."

Ouyang Yiming said, "I understand. But right now, I feel like I'm going to lose you. I know in my heart that our separation is only temporary, but I don't know why I have this feeling." Liu Yan said, "I've had that feeling too. But thinking that we'll be together every day in the future makes me feel better." Ouyang Yiming nodded. Liu Yan fiddled with Ouyang Yiming's collar for a moment before saying in a trembling voice, "After I leave, you must take good care of yourself." Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness again, tears welling in his eyes before streaming down his face.

He then hugged Liu Yan tightly once more. As Ouyang Yiming embraced her, Liu Yan felt his tears fall onto her face. She also felt his arms tighten around her, making it hard for her to breathe.

Liu Yan said, "Don't do this," and immediately sought her lips for Ouyang Yiming's. They kissed, tears streaming down their faces, tasting the bittersweetness of their parting.

Liu Yan grasped one of Ouyang Yiming's hands and pressed it against her chest. Ouyang Yiming stroked it. Liu Yan said, "Put it in." Ouyang Yiming said, "My hands are cold." Liu Yan said, "It's okay." Ouyang Yiming put his hand under Liu Yan's cotton coat and onto her sweater, saying, "Warm it up, I'm afraid you'll get cold."

Liu Yan didn't speak, but instead put one of her fragrant tongues into Ouyang Yiming's mouth and stirred it around. After a while, Ouyang Yiming put his hand into Liu Yan's bra, unbuttoned it from behind, and began to knead her soft, swollen breasts with his large hand. In a short while, Ouyang Yiming's lower body began to swell. Liu Yan felt it, reached out and loosened his belt, then reached into his crotch and grabbed the hot, hard object. Ouyang Yiming, unable to control himself while Liu Yan was stroking his lower body, unbuckled Liu Yan's belt and inserted his finger into her already wet body, moving it in and out.

Liu Yan looked up at him and said, "I've thought about it." Ouyang Yiming looked into her eyes and said, "Me too." Liu Yan said, "Come on." Ouyang Yiming said, "But it's so cold today. I'm afraid you'll get cold." Liu Yan said, "I'm not afraid." As she spoke, she broke free from Ouyang Yiming's embrace, took out a contraceptive film from her pocket, crumpled it into a ball, and handed it to Ouyang Yiming, saying, "Put this in." Ouyang Yiming took it, pinched it between two fingers, and inserted it into Liu Yan's body. Then, using his index finger to push the thing stuck to his hand, he gently pushed it into Liu Yan's body. Liu Yan said, "Deeper." Ouyang Yiming pushed deeper and deeper, reluctant to take it out. Liu Yan said, "Stop touching me, take it out, I can't take it anymore. The medicine will leak out soon." Ouyang Yiming took out his fingers. The two kissed for a while, then Liu Yan unbuckled her belt and pulled her pants down to her buttocks, feeling a little cold. Ouyang Yiming also pulled down his pants as Liu Yan pulled them down. Liu Yan squatted down, sat on the ground, then immediately squatted up again, saying, "It's still cold." Ouyang Yiming bent down and picked her up, saying, "Let's do it standing up, just like last time." Liu Yan said, "I'm afraid you'll be uncomfortable."

Ouyang Yiming said, "Same." As he spoke, he already had his hand on Liu Yan's crotch, searching for something. Liu Yan squatted down slightly, spreading her legs, and Ouyang Yiming's thick, hard member was already inside her.

The unspoken pleasure made the couple forget everything. Although Liu Yan felt that Ouyang Yiming's member couldn't penetrate as deeply as when they were lying on the ground, Ouyang Yiming's tight embrace of her buttocks, his slight arching of his back, and his forceful thrusting still excited Liu Yan greatly. Liu Yan tightly hugged Ouyang Yiming's neck, their mouths pressed together, their tongues intertwining. Pleasure surged through the couple.

After a while, Liu Yan suddenly had an idea, so she broke free from Ouyang Yiming's embrace. Ouyang Yiming was in the throes of passion when Liu Yan broke free, leaving him feeling a pang of disappointment. He looked at her, panting and confused. Liu Yan didn't speak, but turned and bent over, her hands resting on the tree trunk. Her porcelain-white buttocks were now before Ouyang Yiming's eyes. Ouyang Yiming instantly understood Liu Yan's intention. Although he had never done this before, this primal instinct instantly compelled him to hold his erection close to Liu Yan's lower body, thrusting in deeply.

Ouyang Yiming hadn't expected such a strange sensation, which only heightened his excitement. He gripped Liu Yan's hips tightly and thrust forcefully. Liu Yan also felt an indescribable pleasure, feeling Ouyang Yiming's erection repeatedly touch the most sensitive part of her body, so full and satisfying. She couldn't help but let out soft, pleasurable moans. After a while, she felt a contraction within her, as if liquid was gushing out, and her entire body seemed to be overwhelmed by the arrival of orgasm. Just then, Ouyang Yiming shuddered as Liu Yan's body contracted violently and he felt a surge of fluid. After a series of even more excited and rapid thrusts, he ejaculated rapidly. Even after their climax, the two remained tightly embracing. After a moment of heavy breathing, Ouyang Yiming released Liu Yan's grip, and they separated… After straightening their clothes, they stood there embracing. The satisfaction of their passion brought a moment of calm, but the thought of their impending separation weighed heavily on their hearts. Liu Yan clung tightly to Ouyang Yiming's waist, looking up at him. The two, so close, felt each other's breath and gazed into each other's eyes.

Liu Yan gazed tearfully into Ouyang Yiming's eyes and said, "I can't bear to part with you." Ouyang Yiming, his eyes reddening, looked at Liu Yan and said, "Me too." Liu Yan, tears streaming down her face, said, "You must think of me every day." Ouyang Yiming shed tears and nodded solemnly, saying, "I will." Liu Yan said, "I will think of you every moment." Ouyang Yiming said, "Me too." The two gazed at each other with deep sorrow for a long time.

Liu Yan stared intently into Ouyang Yiming's eyes. At that moment, Xu Hui came to mind again. She wanted to say, "Please, don't get together with Xu Hui after I leave," but the words wouldn't come out. She didn't want another woman to occupy their thoughts before their separation. The more she thought about it, the more worried she became, a wave of fear washing over her, followed by a profound sadness. She felt as if Xu Hui would take her place after they parted, as if she would lose the one she loved. Tears streamed down her face, uncontrollable, and she buried her head in Ouyang Yiming's chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sorrow; his own face was now streaked with tears.

After a while, he gently patted Liu Yan's shoulder and said, "Don't be like this. Didn't we say we wouldn't cry when we broke up?" Liu Yan choked back sobs, "But I can't help it. I keep feeling like I'm going to lose you when we separate." Ouyang Yiming's heart trembled. He thought to himself, "Don't I feel the same way?" But he knew that at this moment, he could only comfort her and couldn't let his own emotions affect her, so he said, "You were just comforting me. Okay, listen to me, let's not cry." At this moment, Liu Yan, for some reason, became agitated and could no longer control the suppressed worry in her heart. She looked up at Ouyang Yiming and said, "Ouyang, you must promise me that after I leave, you absolutely mustn't get together with Xu Hui."

Ouyang Yiming's mind went blank for a moment, followed by a rapid pounding of his heart. He understood Liu Yan's worries and how she felt knowing that she was about to be separated from him. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "Trust me, okay? You are my one and only love. I will never give this love to anyone else." Liu Yan looked at him and said, "I understand. I didn't dare say it when I was thinking about it, afraid you would be angry, afraid you would say I'm always so long-winded. But I just couldn't control myself. You won't be angry with me, right?" Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "Yes, I won't be angry with you. I know you're worried, but you also know how much I love you. Promise me you won't mention her again, okay?" Liu Yan nodded. Ouyang Yiming said, "Don't even think about it. Believe me, I would never do anything to betray you." Liu Yan said, "I believe you."

After hearing Ouyang Yiming's words, Liu Yan felt much relieved. For a while, she nestled against Ouyang Yiming's chest, listening to his pounding heartbeat. Suddenly, she looked up and said, "I almost forgot. I've been thinking about taking a picture with you these past few days. I wanted to show it to my parents when I get home and talk about you, so they could accept the fact. I don't want to tell them we've already had sex. But I completely forgot." Ouyang Yiming nodded. He glanced at his watch and said, "It's past eight o'clock. The photo studios are probably all closed." Liu Yan said, "A private photo studio might be able to help. I remember there's one on the south side. Let's go check it out." Ouyang Yiming agreed, picked up the bag hanging on the tree branch, and the two of them went out and walked south.

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