Love and Desire in the Sea [Complete] - 27

Love and Desire (177)

Chapter 175

He didn't admire Liu Yan's willingness to sacrifice so much for love; on the contrary, he thought her behavior was strange and her actions and audacity were frightening. He never imagined that such an absurd thing would happen to Liu Yan. At this moment, he didn't know what to express or say... Liu Yan understood his expression perfectly well. At this moment, she didn't feel any regret; instead, she felt very at ease. So she said, "Whether you care about these things or not, whether we can become husband and wife in the future or not, you know all my secrets. I just hope you won't tell anyone else. Of course, you can tell whatever you want. But I will tell him all this no matter who I live with in the future." Tan Qihao said, "Oh, that's all in the past." He meant there was no need to talk about these things. Liu Yan didn't ponder his words carefully, saying, "You should go back and think it over seriously. There's no need to answer me now. Tell me when you've thought it through." She stood up and said, "Let's go back. Go back and think it over seriously. This kind of thing absolutely cannot be forced." Tan Qihao also stood up, but he didn't forget what Liu Yan had just said: "Liu Yan, don't worry, I won't tell anyone about these things." Liu Yan nodded, and the two walked away.

Tan Qihao still felt lost. Although he didn't want to part ways with Liu Yan, his mind was in turmoil. He needed to go back and sort out his thoughts, to think things through properly... That evening, Liu Yan thought for a long time. She wasn't too worried about whether Tan Qihao would accept what she had done, or whether Tan Qihao would change his attitude towards her because of it. What she was really worried about was that if she told Tan Qihao about Ru Han's background so early, and they broke up later, rumors might spread that Ru Han was an illegitimate child. In the end, he was certain in his heart that Tan Qihao might care about her giving birth to Ruhan without her consent, but he would never be the kind of person to spread gossip.

On the afternoon of the third day after Ouyang Yiming returned to Jinling from Hangzhou, Vice Mayor Tang came to Ouyang Yiming's office. After exchanging a few pleasantries, Vice Mayor Tang said he was in the province for a meeting and had taken some time to come here. He then said something else: "Yiming, there's something I need to tell you in advance. This hasn't been announced yet, so please don't tell anyone." Ouyang Yiming nodded. Vice Mayor Tang said, "In a few days, I'll be transferred to the Provincial Forestry Department as Vice Director." Ouyang Yiming excitedly said, "Really? Congratulations!" Vice Mayor Tang smiled and said,

"I have a deep affection for Panzhou City, but if the organization needs me to leave, I will have to leave." Although Ouyang Yiming knew that Vice Mayor Tang had a deep affection for Panzhou, he also knew that his last sentence was just bureaucratic jargon. Nodding, he said, "Yes, how could I not have feelings for Panzhou after so many years?" He paused, then quickly asked, "But if you leave, will you also abandon the research institute?"

Vice Mayor Tang smiled and said, "I was just about to talk to you about this. Actually, the provincial leaders have been discussing my transfer with me for some time now, and I've also discussed the research institute with several key leaders in Panzhou. Originally, the mayor's idea was to appoint another vice mayor to take over my position at the research institute. However, I made a suggestion: the research institute is already quite large-scale, and the municipal leaders don't need to get involved in its work anymore. I nominated you to replace me at the research institute, to serve as the institute's..." "The Party Secretary and President of the Research Institute." Ouyang Yiming was startled and hurriedly said, "Mayor Tang, how can this be? I'm still very young!" Mayor Tang said, "We discussed this issue during our research, and even now there are still some differences of opinion. However, the matter of you succeeding me as the head of the research institute was approved by a show of hands at the municipal standing committee meeting the day before yesterday. Vice President Wang is already over fifty-five or fifty-six years old and will retire in a few years. The trend of younger cadres is also growing. I believe you can handle the job. Your reputation is the most prominent in the research institute. The current Provincial High-tech Research Institute is well-known in the national scientific community as President Wang and I." "There aren't many people who don't know you, Ouyang Yiming!" Ouyang Yiming said, "But in that case, what about Dean Wang..."

Vice Mayor Tang said, "I've considered this issue. I had a heart-to-heart talk with Dean Wang a few days ago. Dean Wang is very understanding. But Yiming, no matter what, Dean Wang is a senior. In your future work, you must consult him on everything and respect him." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "Don't worry about that. He will always be my senior." Mayor Tang said, "That's good. My suggestion is that you take charge of the overall work of the research institute, mainly focusing on the research institute itself. The industrial zone should still be managed by..." Dean Wang is primarily in charge. Additionally, the research institute needs to cultivate one or two vice-deans. The workload within the institute is increasing, and having two more deputies will significantly reduce your workload. Of course, you and Dean Wang must be cautious in promoting vice-deans; nepotism is absolutely unacceptable and will ruin the research institute. I built this research institute from scratch, and I have a deep affection for it. Take good care of it; I will always care about it.” Ouyang Yiming said, “Don’t worry.” Vice Mayor Tang said, “I have always trusted you the most; you cannot let me down.” Ouyang Yiming nodded solemnly.

A week later, Vice Mayor Tang took office as Vice Director of the Provincial Forestry Department. Ouyang Yiming was subsequently officially appointed by the Panzhou Municipal Party Committee as the Party Secretary and Dean of the research institute.

Li Xuan and Zhong Zhigang congratulated Ouyang Yiming, and naturally Jia Ruorui was also present. After exchanging congratulations and having dinner, the group sat and chatted. Li Xuan said, "Ouyang, you're enjoying success in both your career and love life now. Have you planned to get married?" Ouyang Yiming glanced at Jia Ruorui and smiled, then turned back to Li Xuan and said, "I haven't thought about it yet." He paused, glared at her, and said, "You're asking me? When are you and Zhigang planning to get married?" Li Xuan said, "We're watching you two." Zhong Zhigang just grinned sheepishly. Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Don't look at us like that. I think we should wait a bit." Jia Ruorui nodded. Li Xuan said, "We're not strangers here, so I think we should get married this year. There's no point in dragging it out. I'm not young anymore. If it seems right, why wait?" Zhong Zhigang said, "That's right, that's right." Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui laughed. Li Xuan said, "Don't laugh, I'm telling the truth. We're at the right age, there's no need to wait any longer. Neither of our families live in Jinling. For me, I really want a home; only with a home can I feel secure. That's from the bottom of my heart." Zhong Zhigang nodded.

Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui also felt it made sense. But Ouyang Yiming hadn't really considered getting married so soon. He thought for a moment and said, "Li Xuan, Zhigang, I introduced you two. Today, in front of you both, I need to make things clear. You two should think it over carefully before deciding." Li Xuan smiled and said, "Zhong Zhigang can't compare to you, and I don't expect him to be better than you. I just want Zhong Zhigang to focus on his research and become a researcher with some achievements. For me, I don't have high expectations, and I don't have any complaints about Zhong Zhigang, of course, first and foremost, that he stops criticizing me. Why don't you ask Zhong Zhigang if he likes me?" Zhong Zhigang blushed and glanced at Li Xuan, saying, "I didn't say anything, I have no objections." Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui laughed. After laughing, Li Xuan said, "Actually, we've discussed it. We'll get married eventually; it was bound to happen sooner or later. I haven't thought about meeting anyone else great. I just feel that being able to live together is enough. Ouyang, I'm the one who introduced you and Ruorui. I think you two are a good match; I dare say no one would say you're not. Don't let your ambitions grow too high as you get promoted!" She subtly tugged at Jia Ruorui's sleeve as she spoke. Jia Ruorui knew Li Xuan was doing it on purpose, and smiled shyly, her head bowed.

Ouyang Yiming blushed and said, "I don't have such thoughts. It's just that Ruorui and I really haven't considered this." Jia Ruorui looked up at Li Xuan and nodded, saying, "Yes, we really haven't discussed this. Sister Li, I think we're different from you two. Xu Hui only left last year; it's not really a good idea for us to get married this year." Li Xuan said:

"I've thought about this too, but it doesn't really matter. It's been over a year now, and nobody can really say anything. When you reach a certain age, you'll eventually get married. Everyone can see Ouyang's feelings for Xu Hui, but if he's invested in a relationship without getting anything in return, he can't keep putting in the effort. What can others say? If we're talking about people with the most authority to speak on this, it's us classmates. Our feelings for Xu Hui aren't much different from Ouyang's. We all supported your relationship with Ouyang after we found out! If Ouyang really falls for Xu Hui, we'll be worried. If that happens, Ouyang isn't the kind of person who can accomplish great things, and he wouldn't be capable of being the director of this research institute. People should be more open-minded; that's what makes a man! People can say whatever they want; you can't stop them from talking! Even Liu Xiaoqing said, 'Walk your own path and let others talk!'" Zhong Zhigang looked at Li Xuan and chuckled twice. Li Xuan and Jia Ruorui also laughed.

Ouyang Yiming smiled slightly and said, "That's true, and it makes a lot of sense, but we haven't really discussed this issue yet." Li Xuan asked, "Didn't you discuss it tonight?"

Ouyang Yiming said, "Then we should discuss it too!" Li Xuan said, "That's true, you two can discuss it slowly. Anyway, Zhigang and I are getting married this year. Once we're married, we'll be at peace, and Zhigang can focus on contributing to your research institute. Hey, Ouyang, Zhigang and I are going back to my hometown in a while, so I'm letting you know in advance. You have to grant me leave." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "I have no objection. Who wouldn't support you two?" Li Xuan said, "You wouldn't dare refuse to grant me leave." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Zhigang doesn't need to ask me for leave directly. Haha, if he really needed me to, I really wouldn't dare refuse." Li Xuan laughed and said, "That's true, but if his direct supervisor doesn't grant him leave, you'll have to talk to him." Ouyang Yiming nodded and smiled without saying anything. Li Xuan turned to Jia Ruorui and said, "Ruorui, Ouyang's official position is getting higher and higher. I think you two should get married sooner rather than later. With his status and looks, it's not impossible for women to secretly fall for him. Men's minds are fickle; be careful he doesn't get stolen away by other women." Jia Ruorui smiled but didn't say anything. Ouyang Yiming glanced at Li Xuan and said sarcastically, "You, you're just talking nonsense." Li Xuan said, "Ruorui and I are talking here to remind you. If you really have a change of heart, I won't let you off easily. Don't think that just because you're the Party Secretary and Dean of the Research Institute, you'll always be my little brother in front of me. Besides, I'm the one who brought you and Ruorui together. My sister Ruorui doesn't have that kind of cunning; I'm making sure she's careful."

Everyone knew Li Xuan was joking, so they all laughed. Ouyang Yiming still blushed slightly.

Li Xuan was serious about getting married in the second half of the year; she and Zhong Zhigang had indeed discussed it. For Li Xuan, although she also longed for that kind of passionate love, she felt she wasn't destined for it. For so many years, she had juggled relationships with two married men for personal reasons. She felt that finding a steady, honest, and learned man like Zhong Zhigang was already a blessing; there was no need for further selection. Having a happy home and being loved by her husband was enough. Over the past few months, she had sensed that Zhong Zhigang cared for her deeply, unlike the care shown by Yao Jianshe and the deputy district head. Zhong Zhigang had developed genuine romantic feelings for her. Although Li Xuan didn't feel that overwhelming, soul-stirring emotion, she was still quite satisfied with Zhong Zhigang. Often, she felt guilty towards the man who was to become her husband, but she knew that her past actions couldn't make up for it, and she would continue to hurt him in this way. She secretly vowed that all her true feelings would be given to her husband.

After meeting Zhong Zhigang twice, Li Xuan told Yao Jianshe about the matter. Although Yao Jianshe was unwilling, he couldn't stop her. As Li Xuan said, she was already considered an old maid and couldn't remain unmarried forever. Shortly afterward, Li Xuan told the deputy district head about her relationship with Zhong Zhigang. The deputy district head was somewhat displeased, but Li Xuan said, "If you can divorce your wife and marry me, I'll break off my relationship with her tomorrow. I don't mind your age. I'm a young woman; I can't stay single forever and maintain this kind of relationship with you."

The deputy district head was speechless. However, both men made the same request: to continue their relationship with Li Xuan. Although Li Xuan felt disgusted, she didn't want to offend or get rid of them. They could be useful in her future career development. She only hoped that after she got married, she would have less of this kind of interaction with them. She said the same things to them: "After we get married, my relationship with you will definitely have to be more restrained. Now that I'm married, I don't want to ruin this family." The two men didn't want to ask Li Xuan for anything more.

Li Xuan still felt uneasy around Zhong Zhigang because she had lost her virginity and felt guilty. She wanted to make amends but didn't know how. Losing her virginity but still wanting Zhong Zhigang to believe she was still a virgin—this was perhaps the genuine fear a woman who had lost her virginity felt towards the man who was about to become her husband. It seemed that only by proving she was still a virgin could she soothe her guilt and unease, and gain her future husband's appreciation. This was, of course, a very hypocritical thought, but Li Xuan believed she had to make Zhong Zhigang accept her in that way. However, the inability to regain her virginity troubled her. After many days of pondering, she came up with an idea. Having experienced so much sex, Li Xuan understood men's psychology at that time. She believed she could make Zhong Zhigang accept that she was still a virgin.

After spending some time together, Li Xuan and Zhong Zhigang had already embraced and kissed. Shortly before celebrating Ouyang Yiming's birthday, the two went to a grove of trees by Xuanwu Lake. Li Xuan intentionally led him deeper into the woods and found a very secluded spot to sit down. After kissing for a while, Li Xuan asked, "You've really never had a girlfriend before?" Zhong Zhigang hugged her and said, "No." Li Xuan said, "I don't believe you." Zhong Zhigang said, "I really haven't. You're my first." Li Xuan naturally believed him. Zhong Zhigang had asked Li Xuan before if she had ever had a boyfriend, and Li Xuan had said no, saying that Ouyang Yiming knew, which Zhong Zhigang believed, so he didn't ask again this time. Then Li Xuan hugged Zhong Zhigang and said, "Even if you've had one before, I don't care. I like you." Zhong Zhigang then said again that he really hadn't. Li Xuan didn't ask any more questions, looked up at him for a while, and then gave him her lips. While kissing, Li Xuan deliberately rubbed her breasts against Zhong Zhigang's chest, and after a while, the two lay on the ground and kissed passionately.

Unable to resist the rubbing of Li Xuan's full breasts against his thinly clad chest, Zhong Zhigang's trembling hand reached out to touch them. Li Xuan stirred, uttered two "no"s, and then remained still, letting Zhong Zhigang's hands caress her. Li Xuan's alluring breaths and the sensation of touching a woman's soft flesh for the first time aroused Zhong Zhigang, his manhood hardening.

His mind went blank; he reached for his belt, took one of Li Xuan's hands, and placed it on his chest. Li Xuan deliberately let out a soft "ah" and pulled away, but Zhong Zhigang's hand pulled it back. Li Xuan then took it, gently sliding it along; she knew Zhong Zhigang would soon succumb.

Sure enough, Zhong Zhigang lost control after a moment, passionately kissing Li Xuan, and one hand had already lifted her skirt. Li Xuan pretended not to notice. A moment later, Zhong Zhigang's hand slipped inside Li Xuan's panties, touching the soft, lush grass and the shimmering pool below. The movement was so swift that it startled Li Xuan. She cried out,

"No, no..." reaching for Zhong Zhigang's arm, but his hand seemed glued to it. Li Xuan knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, Zhong Zhigang, panting heavily, pressed himself against Li Xuan. His image as a gentle and composed man was completely gone. He groped his way down Li Xuan's panties, and his hard penis began to thrust wildly into her private parts. Despite her struggles and cries of "No!", Li Xuan was still penetrated by Zhong Zhigang. At this moment, Li Xuan deliberately cried out "Ahhh! It hurts so much!" while pushing against Zhong Zhigang.

But at this moment, Zhong Zhigang's mind seemed to be consumed only by his primal desires.

Amidst Li Xuan's cries and pleas, which sounded like pain, Zhong Zhigang completed his first sexual encounter. After the initial excitement, his mind cleared, and he hurriedly sat up and knelt beside Li Xuan, staring blankly at her. Li Xuan abruptly sat up, shoved Zhong Zhigang, and yelled, "You, how could you be like this?!" She quickly pulled up her underwear, stood up, and walked away. Zhong Zhigang hesitated for a moment before chasing after her, repeatedly apologizing. Li Xuan ignored him, unable to hold back her tears. After that, Li Xuan didn't say another word, and Zhong Zhigang didn't know what to say either. It wasn't until the bus was about to pull into its stop and they were supposed to part ways that Li Xuan said, "I'm getting off now, you go home." Zhong Zhigang said, "I'll take you home." Li Xuan said, "There's no need." She got up and got off the bus. Zhong Zhigang followed her off the bus anyway. Li Xuan glared at him and asked, "Why are you following me?" Zhong Zhigang blushed and said, "I'm taking you home." Li Xuan said, "I know the way home.

Don't follow me anymore." Zhong Zhigang didn't dare follow anymore. Li Xuan returned to her dormitory and changed her underwear. Although she knew the plan had succeeded, she didn't feel much excitement. She lay on her bed and cried for half the night... The next day, Zhong Zhigang called Li Xuan. Li Xuan answered but hung up without saying a word. For three days, Zhong Zhigang lived in extreme anxiety and unease. Li Xuan finally agreed to meet Zhong Zhigang. After they met, Zhong Zhigang blushed and simply said sorry. Li Xuan said, "Why are we still talking about this? I just don't understand how a man like you could be so impulsive. Do you know how painful a woman's first time is? I was in so much pain, and you didn't care about me at all. Do you know how much a woman cares about her first time? How could you be so inconsiderate of a girl's feelings? Do you know how heartbroken I am? It still hurts, and I've bled so much." She then took out a wad of paper stained with blood from her period a few days ago and said, "Take a look." Zhong Zhigang unfolded it and saw a dried bloodstain. He felt a wave of guilt and kept saying sorry. Li Xuan also felt guilty towards Zhong Zhigang and silently kept apologizing to him. But seeing that Zhong Zhigang was completely convinced, she felt comforted.
After that, Zhong Zhigang and Li Xuan had frequent sexual relations. They also often talked about marriage, and the two planned to get married this year. Therefore, Li Xuan didn't feel shy at all when talking about marriage.

After assuming the top position at the research institute, Ouyang Yiming became even busier. For the first few days after taking office, he stayed in Panzhou. He discussed with Vice President Wang the project Xu Hui had mentioned years earlier—the import of German profile equipment to build several PVC profile production lines as a pillar industry for the institute. He then organized meetings with relevant institute leaders to study and repeatedly discuss the matter. Finally, a consensus was reached and submitted to the municipal party committee for approval. Afterwards, he frequently traveled between Panzhou and Jinling to handle various matters. However, he never brought Jia Ruorui back to Panzhou. Every time he returned home, Mao Yuqin would mention wanting him to bring Jia Ruorui home to meet him. Ouyang Yiming would agree verbally, but he wasn't entirely willing. This was because every time he returned home, he thought of Xu Hui, and every time he would go to the west wing to look at it, unable to hold back his tears when he saw his wedding photo with Xu Hui. He seemed to feel that only Xu Hui had the right to live in this old house as Ouyang Yiming's wife, as if the old house could no longer accept another woman as Ouyang Yiming's wife, and as if he lacked the courage, or perhaps was somewhat timid, to bring Jia Ruorui to the old house. Fortunately, Jia Ruorui perhaps felt that Ouyang Yiming was too busy, or perhaps she thought that Ouyang Yiming hadn't actively asked her to go to Panzhou with him, and never mentioned going to Panzhou.

After Li Xuan brought up marriage after dinner, Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui also discussed the topic of marriage. Jia Ruorui felt that it didn't matter whether they got married sooner or later, and said that Ouyang Yiming should decide. In his heart, Ouyang Yiming absolutely did not want to get married this year as Li Xuan suggested. Firstly, he felt that this would still be unfair to Xu Hui; secondly, he was worried about gossip; and thirdly, he was afraid that Xu Hui's parents would feel bad. In his mind, he should at least wait until the anniversary of Xu Hui's death before considering marriage. Although Ouyang Yiming had thought many times that getting married would be a major life event, or rather, a way to put an end to his worries about love and marriage, he still didn't have the courage.

On a morning in early June, Ouyang Yiming received a call from Jia Ruorui. Jia Ruorui started sobbing without saying a word, and Ouyang Yiming's heart pounded instantly. He hurriedly asked what was wrong. Jia Ruorui said, "My mom... my mom fell down the stairs on her way home from my sister's house last night. My sister just said that Mom's right arm is broken. I need to go back, go back to see Mom." Ouyang Yiming panicked and asked, "Don't worry, is everything alright? Is she in the hospital now?" Jia Ruorui said, "My sister said she was admitted to the hospital last night. Everything else is fine, but she said she had a cut on her head and needed stitches. I'm very worried." Ouyang Yiming quickly said, "Don't worry, I'll send a car to take you to Hangzhou right away." Jia Ruorui said, "Ouyang, could you spare some time to come with me? I don't know how badly Mom fell, it would be better if you came with me to see her." She paused, then added, "If you really don't have time, then forget it."

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "I'll go with you, but I must get back tonight. Dean Wang from Panzhou and several colleagues from the hospital are coming here tomorrow." Jia Ruorui said:

"Forget it then, you're so busy. I think I'll stay home for a couple of days before coming back, so just send a car to take me," Ouyang Yiming said. "I'd better go, otherwise I don't know when I'll have time."

Ouyang Yiming called his assistant into his office and gave him some instructions. While packing his things and looking at his wallet, he suddenly remembered the two thousand yuan Liu Yan had left him. He thought to himself that this time he absolutely had to give it to Jin Ling to pass on to Liu Yan, so he immediately called the finance department to send over five thousand yuan. Only then did he drive to Jia Ruorui's aunt's house.

Jia Ruorui's aunt was very busy these past two days and couldn't come with him, so she bought some things for Jia Ruorui to take with her. On the way, Ouyang Yiming said to Jia Ruorui, "Several key leaders from the research institute in Panzhou are coming tomorrow morning. The experimental building is about to be handed over for use, and I asked them to come and take a look. The Panzhou Industrial Zone is planning to import several PVC profile production lines from Germany. The research institute had already approved it at a meeting a few days ago and submitted it to the municipal party committee. Yesterday, Director Wang called to say that the municipal party committee had approved it. I might have to go to Germany with two leaders from the municipal party committee and several colleagues from the research institute to inspect this project." Jia Ruorui said, "I told you not to come in person if you don't have time. Look how busy you are, and you'll have to rush back this afternoon. You'll be so tired!" Ouyang Yiming said:

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to come in a few days. Your mother fell so badly, I can’t just not come to see her. Here’s what we’ll do: if you’re in Hangzhou for a few days, then go ahead. Call me when you’re back, and if I haven’t left yet, or if I have time, I’ll come pick you up. If you’re already out or don’t have time, you can call my assistant and have him send a car to pick you up.” Jia Ruorui said, “I’ll take a bus then. I’m afraid people will say anything, and I don’t want to trouble them.” Ouyang Yiming said, “Just call.”

They arrived in Hangzhou at noon and went directly to the hospital where Jia Ruorui’s mother was hospitalized. Jia Ruorui’s sister and father said it wasn’t a big problem; her right arm was fractured and in a cast, and she had five stitches in her head. She could be discharged soon. Jia Ruorui said, “I was terrified when I got the call. I told Ouyang about it, and he insisted on coming. Actually, he’s been quite busy these past few days. He has a meeting tomorrow morning, and he might go abroad for a business trip in a few days. He has to rush back this afternoon.” Jia Ruorui’s family exchanged some polite words. They ate lunch at a restaurant near the hospital. After returning to the hospital after dinner, Ouyang Yiming chatted for a while before saying he was going back. Jia Ruorui's family escorted him out of the ward and back to his room. Ouyang Yiming gave Jia Ruorui some money for spending money. Jia Ruorui said she had brought it with her, declined a few times, but eventually accepted it. Ouyang Yiming drove out of the hospital and inquired about the route to Jinling's hospital. He found Jinling's ward, but was told that Jinling was off today. Chapter 176 of

Love and Desire (178): Ouyang Yiming felt somewhat disappointed. He thought that since he had brought the money, he should settle this matter as soon as possible to put his mind at ease. So Ouyang Yiming asked about Jinling's home. He learned that she lived in the tax bureau dormitory. He inquired about the route in detail, bought some simple gifts on the way, and went to Jinling's house. Jin Ling was doing laundry at home when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it and asked, "Who is it?" She was stunned to see Ouyang Yiming. After a moment, she exclaimed, "Oh my, Ouyang Yiming, Dean Ouyang, how could it be you? I really didn't expect it to be you. How did you find this place?" She opened the door in a flustered manner as she spoke.

As Ouyang Yiming entered the house, he smiled and said, "I told you you were resting at the hospital and were just here on business, so I asked around about your place." He handed the things he was carrying to Jin Ling, who quickly said, "Look at you, why did you bring all this?" Ouyang Yiming smiled. Jin Ling took the things and hurriedly gestured for Ouyang Yiming to sit down, then turned off the washing machine. While putting tea leaves in the bowl and pouring water, she said, "I really didn't expect you to come? Are you here on a business trip?" As she spoke, she thought of Ouyang Yiming and that woman, and a feeling of disgust instantly arose in her heart. But since Ouyang Yiming was in her home, no matter how much she disliked it, it wasn't her business. Even if she was angry with this man because of Liu Yan, she couldn't express it in her own home. Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm here to take care of some things, and by the way, I wanted to ask you for a favor." Ouyang Yiming was a little uneasy and even flustered as he spoke, after all, he was here to ask Jin Ling for help with Liu Yan's matter.

Jin Ling placed the tea on the coffee table in front of Ouyang Yiming, then sat down beside him. Looking at Ouyang Yiming, she asked, "You need my help? Does a friend in Hangzhou need medical treatment?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "No, not at all." His face flushed slightly as he looked at Jin Ling and said, "Jin Ling, it's like this. I borrowed some money from Liu Yan, and I've never had a chance to pay her back. I haven't been able to contact her for so many years, so I wanted to ask you for help."

Hearing Ouyang Yiming mention Liu Yan, Jin Ling's heart skipped a beat, but she didn't show any reaction on her face. She asked, "How much is it?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Five thousand yuan. I thought you two were so close, you must keep in touch often." Jin Ling looked at him and said, "Yes, we keep in touch often. But... but I've never heard Liu Yan mention this." Ouyang Yiming blushed and said, "It's been so many years, and I... I haven't been able to contact her either..." Jin Ling smiled and asked, "You haven't lost contact, have you?" Ouyang Yiming looked up at her, his face turning even redder. Jin Ling said, "She's still there, still the director." Ouyang Yiming said "Oh" without replying. Jin Ling said, "I'm afraid I can't handle this for you, since I know nothing about it!" Ouyang Yiming said,

"Just tell Liu Yan, and she'll know." Jin Ling looked at him, then lowered her head and said, "Ouyang, I know about you and Liu Yan, but I really don't know how Liu Yan gave you this money. If Liu Yan gave it to you for some other reason, or if she didn't give it to you at all, I'll accept it on her behalf. Liu Yan won't blame me!" Ouyang Yiming hurriedly said, "That's right, she lent it to me."

Jin Ling saw the look on his face and knew he was lying, so she said, "You should handle this yourself. You know her address; just transfer the money to her. Ouyang, it's not that I don't want to help you, but think about it, you're transferring it to her anyway, and I'm transferring it to her too. Besides, I know nothing about this, so it's not easy for me to handle this." Ouyang Yiming had never thought of this... Jin Ling felt a little awkward about not wanting to help him with this, and said, "Oh, then forget it. I didn't even know if she was still at the club all these years, so... so I didn't..." Jin Ling continued, "Ouyang, I understand your feelings. You might not know if she's still at the club, but it's true you haven't wanted to contact her.

Ouyang, I know a bit about your relationship, are you still angry with her?" Ouyang Yiming said, "No, not at all. What's there to be angry about after all these years! As long as she's doing well, that's all that matters."

Jin Ling's heart trembled upon hearing this. She felt an urge to reveal Liu Yan's current situation, but after a moment's thought, she decided to hold back. She felt that no matter how Liu Yan was doing now, she couldn't let her embarrass herself in front of Ouyang Yiming. So she said, "She's doing well." Ouyang Yiming said, "I can imagine, she'll definitely be doing well." Jinling looked at him, then lowered her head, feeling a pang of sadness thinking about Liu Yan's plight. She said, "Ouyang, Liu Yan had no choice back then..." The scene of Liu Yan breaking up with him flashed through Ouyang Yiming's mind, and his heart ached. He lowered his head and said, "Jinling, don't say anything more, I understand everything." Jinling turned to look at him but remained silent. After a moment, she said, "How should I put it? Sigh, it's just that you two aren't destined to be husband and wife."

Ouyang Yiming nodded. Over the years, he had said this countless times in his heart. Jinling said, "Actually, you're doing very well now, and you and Xu Hui are a perfect match.

Being husband and wife requires fate, and you and Xu Hui are truly destined to be husband and wife. Xu Hui is a good woman; you can see that you two are a good match. However, you must treat her well."

When Jinling spoke of Xu Hui, she thought of the scene she had witnessed that day and couldn't help but remind Ouyang Yiming. Ouyang Yiming didn't understand Jin Ling's meaning, but he felt a pang of heartache as Jin Ling praised Xu Hui. Jin Ling didn't notice Ouyang Yiming's expression as he sat with his head down, and continued to ask, "Is Xu Hui still in Shanghai?" Ouyang Yiming's heart ached again, and he said softly,

"She...she's in Suzhou." Jin Ling asked, quite surprised, "Xu Hui was transferred to Suzhou?" Ouyang Yiming didn't answer. Only then did Jin Ling notice that Ouyang Yiming was crying, and her heart tightened instantly. She hurriedly asked, "What's wrong?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Xu Hui...Xu Hui is gone." Jin Ling's heart trembled violently, and she asked, "Gone? She..." Ouyang Yiming shook his head painfully and said, "She's gone. Last year...last year before we were preparing for our wedding, she got sick, and...she passed away."

Jin Ling uttered an "Ah," and instantly froze, staring blankly at Ouyang Yiming, unable to speak. After a moment, she realized what was happening and said, "I really didn't expect it, I never would have imagined it, how could Xu Hui..." Ouyang Yiming said through tears, "Never mind, I don't want to talk about this anymore." Jin Ling nodded, and while sighing for Xu Hui, she suddenly felt a surge of excitement—the hope that Liu Yan and Ouyang Yiming would be together. A moment later, she remembered the woman who had been with Ouyang Yiming that day, and her heart sank again. She hurriedly asked, "Then, are you married again now?" Ouyang Yiming shook his head and said, "Not yet." Jin Ling blurted out, "Then last month, last month you and that woman, the woman with glasses, at Lingyin Temple..." Ouyang Yiming was startled and looked at Jin Ling, asking, "You saw us?" Jin Ling nodded. Ouyang Yiming said, "Oh, she's my girlfriend." Jin Ling gasped in surprise, a surge of intense guilt, shame, unease, and self-reproach rising within her. She exclaimed, "I'm such a jerk, such a jerk!" At that moment, she felt remorse not only for misunderstanding Ouyang Yiming but also for telling Liu Yan about it.

Ouyang Yiming looked at her blankly, bewildered. Jin Ling, her face flushed with embarrassment, looked at Ouyang Yiming and said, "Ouyang, I'm so sorry, so sorry. I misunderstood you, Liang Chao and I both misunderstood you." Ouyang Yiming instantly realized his mistake and said, "Oh, it's alright, it's alright. Did you go to Lingyin Temple sometime?" But what puzzled Ouyang Yiming was that, given they hadn't seen each other for several years, it was normal for Jin Ling to misunderstand him seeing him with Jia Ruorui. Why was Jin Ling so guilty, saying such things and blaming him? Jin Ling said, "Ouyang, I won't lie to you. The day Liang Chao and I saw you and that woman, we immediately knew she was your type. Because we didn't know Xu Hui was going to die. And just a few days after Liang Chao and I saw you and your girlfriend, Liu Yan came to see me." These words made Ouyang Yiming's heart pound violently. He stared wide-eyed at Jin Ling without speaking. Jin Ling said, "We shouldn't have told Liu Yan about you and your girlfriend before we even figured it out." Ouyang Yiming's heart tightened again, and he stared blankly at her. Jin Ling said, "I misunderstood you, and I made Liu Yan misunderstand you too." Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of pain in his heart. He looked at her and lowered his head, silently blaming himself. He wasn't too bothered by Jin Ling's misunderstanding, but the fact that Liu Yan had misunderstood him filled him with immense unease. But Ouyang Yiming knew that he couldn't utter a single word of complaint here. After thinking for a moment, she looked up at Jin Ling and said, "Oh, it's okay. I can explain it to Liu Yan when I have the chance." She paused and then hurriedly added, "Oh, it's okay if I don't explain. Everyone...everyone lives their own life."

Amidst her regret and guilt, Jin Ling couldn't help but feel a surge of joy. After all, Ouyang Yiming and Liu Yan were both single, even though they each had boyfriends or girlfriends; they weren't married, so there was still a possibility they could be together. For a fleeting moment, Jin Ling considered mentioning Liu Yan's divorce, but the words caught in her throat. She thought for a moment, silently warning herself not to act rashly again. A few days ago, when she spoke with Liu Yan on the phone, Liu Yan said she had agreed to marry Tan Qihao. Of course, she knew Liu Yan still had feelings for Ouyang Yiming, and that Liu Yan would definitely leave Tan Qihao for Ouyang Yiming. But the crucial question was whether Ouyang Yiming still had feelings for Liu Yan, whether he would still accept her knowing she was divorced, and most importantly, whether he could accept Zhang Lei's child. These were all unknowns; how could she act rashly? Ouyang Yiming wasn't an ordinary person anymore; his girlfriend was very beautiful, and importantly, she was a woman! "I can't let this turn out so impulsively and make things worse! I can't let it happen again!" Jin Ling thought to herself. She decided to carefully inquire about Ouyang Yiming and the girl's situation, to find out Ouyang Yiming's attitude towards Liu Yan. She wanted to see if Ouyang Yiming truly had no lingering feelings for Liu Yan, or if he had already given up on her altogether, before making any further plans. Or she could tell Liu Yan about Ouyang Yiming's current situation and see how to resolve it. For now, she would talk to Ouyang Yiming.

So she said, "I really didn't expect Xu Hui to leave so soon. She was a good woman; it's truly a pity." Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness and wanted to cry again, but he nodded without saying a word. Jin Ling asked, "When did you meet your current fiancée?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "Several months ago, oh, around the New Year. I had a college classmate who was quite close to both Xu Hui and me. After Xu Hui passed away, she introduced me to Jia Ruorui. I didn't know anything about her before we met, but we started dating." Jin Ling said, "This girl seems quite nice." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "Yes, she is very nice." Jin Ling asked, "Is she also from Panzhou?" Ouyang Yiming glanced at her and said, "Her home is in Hangzhou. After graduating from university, she was assigned to work in Jinling. Oh, I forgot to tell you, our research institute has moved to Jinling." Jin Ling was surprised and said, "Your research institute moved to Jinling! No wonder, I thought you were still in Panzhou." At this moment, Jin Ling remembered that she had given Liu Yan that phone number and address. Ouyang Yiming said, "We moved to Jinling last year, but Panzhou is still our industrial area." Jin Ling said, "Oh," and said, "She also works in Jinling. It's good that we're both working in the same city." Ouyang Yiming nodded. Jinling asked, "When are you planning to get married?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "We haven't thought about when yet, but we'll be considering it in the next year or two."

Jinling's heart tightened slightly upon hearing this, but she quickly composed herself and said, "I definitely want to come to your wedding!" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "That's great!" Jinling said, "I'm just worried you won't let us know." Ouyang Yiming then smiled again and said, "We don't know when that will be yet." Jinling looked at him and smiled back. Thinking about Liu Yan, Ouyang Yiming decided it wasn't necessary to drag things out so much, and said, "Ouyang, you know about my relationship with Liu Yan, but I really didn't know you two were together." Ouyang Yiming thought to himself, "Liu Yan also said she hadn't told anyone back then, of course you wouldn't know." Jin Ling said, "When I went to Liu Yan's place for my wedding with Liang Chao, she told me. Actually...actually, Liu Yan has always felt sorry for you.

Ouyang, don't blame her." Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of heartache thinking about Liu Yan's breakup, and smiled bitterly, saying, "So many years have passed, why blame her! Actually..." "Everyone has their own thoughts and their own life; there's no need to blame anyone." Jin Ling asked, "Ouyang, if you and Liu Yan could do it all over again—I mean, with your current mindset, and Liu Yan disregarding her family—would you still be with her?" Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "Back then, I would. Now, if I could do it all over again, I think I definitely wouldn't." Jin Ling asked, "Why?" Ouyang Yiming then smiled bitterly and said, "We were never meant to be together. Back then, I was overestimating myself. How could I possibly want to climb up to someone from a family like theirs!" He spoke with resentment in his heart.
Jin Ling said, "Actually, Liu Yan loves you very, very much, but isn't it because of her mother..." Ouyang Yiming shook his head slightly and said, "I'm afraid, I'm afraid it can't all be blamed on her mother. If she really cared about me, as you say, and loved me, who could stop her? Or is it that she's thinking of marrying into a wealthy family, or that she doesn't truly respect my family? I will never have anything to do with a family like that again in this life, and I will tell my next life not to try to climb into a family like hers either." Ouyang Yiming felt his emotions rising, stopped speaking, and then said, "Forget it, this matter has been over for so long, I don't want to talk about it anymore, and I don't blame her. Why blame her? Everyone has their own standards for life, and I hope she can be happy." He felt very annoyed as he spoke, paused, and said, "Jin Ling, actually, I've been avoiding her all along. I've thought about sending this money directly to Liu Yan, but I really don't want to interfere with her life anymore, and I don't want to have any contact with her again. When she broke up with me, she secretly put these two thousand yuan in my pocket, and I've always..." I haven't touched it; I can't touch her money. Originally, I planned to send this money back to her after we broke up, but after reading the letter she left me, a childhood friend told me to wait. I haven't sent it yet because I'm afraid of hurting Liu Yan. I know Liu Yan left me this money sincerely, but I won't use it. I won't take a single penny of her money. Over the years, I've thought countless times that perhaps Liu Yan left me this money to make up for my past relationship, but I can't accept that. Having this money here will always make me uneasy. Jinling, I understand what you mean. It's really not appropriate for you to pay it for me, since you don't know the situation. How about this, I'll send it to her myself. Returning the money will put my mind at ease. Jinling, if you ever have the chance to see Liu Yan again, tell her that I sincerely wish her happiness. This is from the bottom of my heart.” After saying this, I was secretly surprised. Even though I'd thought I didn't blame Liu Yan all these years, deep down I still hadn't forgiven her for abandoning me. Thinking to himself, he blushed slightly, stood up, and said, "I have to go back; I have a lot of things to do at work."

Jin Ling sighed inwardly upon hearing Ouyang Yiming's words. Seeing him stand up, she quickly stood up as well, saying, "Ouyang, wait a moment." Ouyang Yiming looked at her. Jin Ling said, "Ouyang, sit down a little longer; I still have something to talk to you about." Ouyang Yiming looked at her questioningly and then sat down. Jin Ling sat down and looked at Ouyang Yiming, then thought for a moment and said, "Is this the money she left you when you broke up?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes." Jin Ling said, "It's two thousand, not five thousand." Ouyang Yiming blushed and said, "It's two thousand, but so many years have passed... When we were together, I also used some of her money." Jin Ling smiled and said, "Even if you used it, you couldn't have used three thousand of her money. I understand what you're thinking. How about this, tell me your Jinling phone number and address, and I'll contact Liu Yan first. If she's willing to accept the money, I can help you with this." After hearing Jin Ling's words, Ouyang Yiming was disappointed that Jin Ling would hand over the money and said, "I'll just wire it to her myself." But he couldn't very well refuse to give Jin Ling his phone number and address, so he took out a business card and handed it to her.

Jin Ling also wanted Ouyang Yiming's contact information. She didn't care about the money Ouyang Yiming gave to Liu Yan; she believed that since Liu Yan had given it to him, she wouldn't want to take it back. Jin Ling took the business card, glanced at it, and looked up at Ouyang Yiming, asking, "Are you the head of the research institute now?" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "The leaders flatter me." Jin Ling said,

"You're really capable." Putting away the business card, she said, "Actually, you should have personally transferred the money to Liu Yan." Ouyang Yiming nodded and was about to get up to leave when Jin Ling said, "Ouyang, there's something I still need to ask you. Have you really been resentful towards Liu Yan all these years?" Ouyang Yiming hurriedly said, "I don't blame her for anything." Jin Ling said, "From what you just said, I can tell that you both resent her and still care about your feelings for her."

Ouyang Yiming was startled. He looked up at Jin Ling, somewhat annoyed, and said, "I've never really resented her. I understand her; she should live her own life. It's normal that her family looks down on my family. As for whether I care about my feelings for Liu Yan, I think every first love is, but it's meaningless. Everyone has their own life now, and I just hope she's doing well." Jin Ling blurted out, "What if she's not doing well?" Ouyang Yiming was taken aback, looking at Jin Ling without speaking. Jin Ling still wanted to test Ouyang Yiming's attitude, saying, "I mean, hypothetically." Ouyang Yiming breathed a sigh of relief and said, "I know very well that she's doing very well." Jin Ling said, "Let's think about it. What if she's single now? What if she's divorced? Would you separate from your current fiancée and live with Liu Yan?" Jin Ling's heart pounded after asking the question, and she stared straight at him. Ouyang Yiming was stunned, his heart pounding. He stared at Jin Ling and asked, "You...you mean Liu Yan is divorced?" Jin Ling smiled and said, "I'm just hypothesizing. Hypothetically, hypothetically, if you two weren't married yet, would you still be willing to be with Liu Yan?"

Ouyang Yiming thought to himself, "What kind of hypothetical question is this? It's ridiculous, even a bit pointless." Feeling a bit annoyed, he said, "I've made up my mind not to have anything to do with her family anymore. My fiancée is wonderful. Even if Liu Yan and I were both single now, we probably wouldn't end up together. She has her own life, and I have mine. The past is the past; there's no point in getting back together." He stood up and said, "I have to go back; it's still a few hours' journey."

Jin Ling hadn't yet recovered from the shock of Ouyang Yiming's words. She got up and saw him off, feeling a chill in her heart as she listened to his words that made her tremble. She wanted to talk to Ouyang Yiming, but after thinking it over, she decided it was best for them to handle their own affairs; only their hearts could untangle

their knots. However, knowing Ouyang Yiming's current situation still excited her immensely. She wanted to tell Liu Yan about it immediately. After seeing Ouyang Yiming off, she returned home and sat on the sofa for a while, unable to contain her excitement, wondering how Liu Yan would react to the news. She stopped abruptly as she was about to go out to call Liu Yan. Sitting back down on the sofa, she thought that if Ouyang Yiming could accept Liu Yan, her breakup with Tan Qihao wouldn't be a big problem. What worried her now was that Ouyang Yiming might not accept Liu Yan and Ru Han. If he refused, it would be another major blow to Liu Yan. Thinking about Ouyang Yiming's current status and his earlier words, she felt uneasy. His fiancée was very well-off; would he abandon this unmarried woman to marry Liu Yan, a divorced woman with a child? At this moment, a wave of unease washed over her. She thought about it for a while, still feeling a sense of unease. Regardless of the family pressure Liu Yan faced when she left Ouyang Yiming, it was ultimately Liu Yan who initiated the breakup. Just as Ouyang Yiming had thought, if Liu Yan had truly ignored her family, she wouldn't have left him. As a man, especially one who had achieved so much, he might not accept a woman who had essentially abandoned him, even though Liu Yan had always loved him. He had just said such heartless things, and now he had a very beautiful young woman by his side!

A few days ago, Liu Yan had said on the phone that she had agreed to marry Tan Qihao. If Liu Yan knew about Ouyang Yiming's situation and gave up Tan Qihao, and Ouyang Yiming couldn't accept Liu Yan, wouldn't that be pushing Liu Yan to her doom? At this moment, Jin Ling felt extremely distressed, thinking a lot but still unable to make a decision. But regardless of the hopelessness, she couldn't leave without talking to Liu Yan. Perhaps Liu Yan could touch Ouyang Yiming's heart. After that, she kept thinking about how to tell Liu Yan.

When Liang Chao came home from work, Jin Ling still couldn't think of a good solution, so she immediately told him about Ouyang Yiming's visit. Liang Chao was clearly very excited and said, "No matter what happens between Liu Yan and Ouyang in the future, this matter needs to be discussed with Liu Yan. If they both really want to be together, that would be best. If Ouyang Yiming doesn't want to, there's nothing that can be done. But if Liu Yan doesn't know, and they both want to be together, it will leave her with lifelong regrets." Jin Ling said, "I'm really afraid that Ouyang Yiming won't accept Liu Yan and will hurt her again. That would be terrible for Liu Yan. What Ouyang Yiming said really worries me." Liang Chao said, "We can't worry about that now. Let's try to think positively." Jin Ling nodded. Liang Chao thought for a moment and said, "Be tactful when you talk to Liu Yan, don't get too emotional." Jin Ling nodded and said, "I know. But I'm just afraid..." Liang Chao said, "What are you afraid of? The reason Liu Yan has accepted Tan Qihao is largely because we told her about Ouyang and his fiancée. We can say we achieved our original goal, but who could have imagined that things would turn out like this in just a month or two? It's also because we didn't understand things when we met Ouyang last time and told Liu Yan. And Ouyang, why didn't he come last time? If he had come to see you last time, there wouldn't be these misunderstandings." Jin Ling said impatiently, "Isn't that obvious? Okay, I'll tell you what I think! Thinking too much now is pointless."

After dinner, Jin Ling and Liang Chao went to the long-distance telephone service center not far from the dormitory area to call Liu Yan. Liu Yan's housekeeper told Jin Ling that Liu Yan had gone out to dinner with friends that night and hadn't returned home yet.

Jin Ling and Liang Chao guessed that Liu Yan was with Tan Qichao, and after discussing it for a while, they called Liu Yan.

Love and Desire (179)

Chapter 177

After Liu Yan told Tan Qihao about Ru Han's background, two days later Tan Qihao called Liu Yan and asked her to go out for dinner that evening. To be honest, Liu Yan didn't have much expectation for Tan Qihao's call, nor was she worried about whether Tan Qihao would care. After answering Tan Qihao's call, Liu Yan asked, "Have you thought it through?" Tan Qihao said, "I've never cared about those things, I haven't cared." Liu Yan also understood that Tan Qihao's words were a "protest" and didn't say it outright, but she understood that Tan Qihao had to consider this matter.

After meeting, Liu Yan didn't rush to ask him anything. After dinner, the two strolled down the street. Liu Yan said, "You still need to seriously consider my situation. After all, I did something very unusual in the eyes of most people, and no one will understand how I felt at the time. It was because I cared too much about him and was too averse to being with Zhang Lei. But I've never regretted it. Even after knowing he's not the same as before, I still haven't regretted my choice." Tan Qihao said, "I understand." Liu Yan said, "I know you'll care, and you might be afraid of my actions, maybe you'll think I'm eccentric, but since I've done it, I don't regret it. You still need to seriously consider it before answering whether you can accept a woman like me." Tan Qihao said:

“These past two days I’ve really thought a lot about you and that person having Ruhan. I do think your actions were somewhat illogical, but after thinking about it, I realize you had your reasons for doing it that way. You didn’t do it on a whim; you must have considered it many times. I understand how you felt at the time. Let’s not bring this up again. Don’t worry, I said I would treat Ruhan as my own child, and I will. No matter what, the child has done nothing wrong. But I… I think you must truly accept me in your heart, you must be sincere.”

Liu Yan understood Tan Qihao’s meaning and remained silent for a long time before saying, “Being with you was my own decision, so don’t worry. Since I’ve decided to be with you, I will definitely not do anything after we get married.” "Regarding what I've done to offend you, although I did something very bold regarding Ruhan, I'm not a particularly daring person. Otherwise, I wouldn't have so readily married Zhang Lei. Now, I can say I've lost all hope in Ruhan's biological father. I no longer have any expectations of him; I'm completely disappointed in him. After I get married, I will wholeheartedly focus on my life. I don't want my future partner to ever mention this matter, or even insult me. I also hope that my Ruhan will be happy." Tan Qihao said, "I will never mention this matter as a flaw in you, absolutely not. Actually, I've thought about it for a long time, and it can't be considered a flaw. In any case, I will never mention this matter again until today, and I will definitely treat the child as my own son."

A few days later, Liu Yan agreed to meet Tan Qihao's parents, who were quite satisfied with him. When Jin Ling called her, Liu Yan told her that she had accepted Tan Qihao and planned to go back to Xi'an with him to meet his parents this summer. They also planned to get married sometime this year.

Liu Yan never felt any excitement when she was with Tan Qihao, and there was no lingering sadness when they parted; it felt like a routine. This made Liu Yan feel uneasy at times, yet she did feel that Tan Qihao was quite suitable for her. Tan Qihao, on the other hand, was very enthusiastic. Liu Yan could feel the passion of being together and the reluctance to part. That evening, after dinner, they took a walk, and Liu Yan suggested going home.

When they got home, the housekeeper said that Jin Ling from Hangzhou had called. Liu Yan asked what they talked about. The housekeeper said Jin Ling didn't say much, just asked where she had been, when she would be back, and said she would call back later. Liu Yan didn't think too much of it, assuming it was just Jin Ling chatting with her. She changed her clothes and went to take a shower. When she came out, she saw that Ru Han was still awake, so she called Ru Han to her side and asked, "Tell Mommy why you're up so late tonight?" Ru Han said, "Waiting for Mommy." Liu Yan reached out and touched Ru Han's head, asking, "Waiting for Mommy? Is something wrong?" Ru Han said, "Of course something's wrong." Liu Yan and the nanny both laughed. Liu Yan said, "Okay, then tell me." Ru Han looked up at Liu Yan and asked, "Mommy, I want to ask you, why don't you ever take me with you when you go out to eat?" Liu Yan was taken aback and turned to look at the nanny. The nanny hurriedly said, "You asked me that during dinner, and I told you you were going on official business." Ruhan said,

"I don't believe you, I just went to dinner." Liu Yan looked at Ruhan and smiled, "Mom went on official business." Ruhan said, "What official business would you be doing after work? You're lying!" Liu Yan blushed and said, "Ruhan, you have to be good. Mom didn't take you because it wasn't convenient to take you, understand?" Saying that she was going on official business, Liu Yan felt a little uneasy again.

Just then, the phone rang. Liu Yan knew it was Jinling calling. She stood up and said to Ruhan, "Go to sleep, be good." Ruhan nodded and ran to the nanny. Liu Yan picked up the phone and heard Jin Ling ask, "Liu Yan, did you just get back?" Liu Yan replied, "Yes, I just got back." Jin Ling asked, "Are you in the living room now?" Liu Yan said, "Yes." Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I heard your TV on. If someone's in the living room, could you take this call in your bedroom? I have something important to tell you."

Liu Yan was surprised, but after thinking for a moment, she said, "Okay." She put down the receiver, went into her bedroom, picked up the phone, and said, "Wait a moment." She went back out, put the receiver away, went into her bedroom, closed the door, sat on the edge of the bed, and picked up the phone, asking, "Jin Ling, what's so mysterious about this?" Jin Ling asked, "Liu Yan, did you have dinner and hang out with Tan Qichao tonight?" Liu Yan said, "Yes." Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I want to ask you a question." Liu Yan smiled and said, "Go ahead, I'm listening." "I'm telling you the truth," Jinling said. "You absolutely have to tell me the truth." Liu Yan asked, "Jinling, what are you up to? When have I ever not told you the truth?" Jinling said, "I'm serious. Liu Yan, tell me, what stage have you and Tan Qihao reached?" Liu Yan said, "To be honest, it's still the same, but I've decided to marry him." Jinling asked, "Liu Yan, tell me the truth, have you had that kind of relationship with him?" Liu Yan was taken aback and asked, "Jinling, what's wrong with you tonight? Why are you asking such a question?" Jinling said, "Tell me the truth." Liu Yan thought for a moment and then told the truth, "No, we haven't even held hands. I'm telling the truth, and I don't seem to have that kind of urge when I'm with him, and he doesn't seem to have that kind of interest either. It seems, it seems like he's a little afraid of me." Jinling said, "That's good, that's good."

Liu Yan was a little confused, and her heart started pounding. Before Liu Yan could even ask, Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I did something wrong." Liu Yan was stunned again, and before she could speak, Jin Ling continued,

"Liu Yan, what I told you about Ouyang Yiming last time was a misunderstanding." Hearing Ouyang Yiming's name, Liu Yan's heart pounded wildly. She asked, "Ouyang Yiming? What about him?"

Jin Ling said, "It's about Ouyang and that woman. It's a misunderstanding." Liu Yan was somewhat suspicious but remained silent. Jinling said, "That woman is Ouyang's girlfriend, do you understand?"

Liu Yan said, "I don't understand." Jinling said, "Liu Yan, Ouyang is also single now. Xu Hui, Xu Hui passed away last year. This woman is Ouyang's girlfriend."

Liu Yan exclaimed in shock, her mind going blank for a moment. She didn't hear what Jinling said next, and after a while, she became agitated and said, "Xu Hui, how could Xu Hui, how could she, Jinling, how could you say such a thing! How could such a good woman like Xu Hui be sick, pass away?" Jinling said, "Oh, Liu Yan, can you just say things like that? I wouldn't dare say such a lie, it's true." Liu Yan was stunned again, and asked anxiously, "Jinling, how do you know? How did you find out?" Jinling said, "Ouyang, Ouyang came to my house this afternoon." Liu Yan asked doubtfully, "Ouyang, Ouyang Yiming went to your house?" Jinling said, "Yes." "He came to my house." Liu Yan said, "Jinling, tell me quickly, tell me what happened? What exactly happened? Tell me!" Jinling said, "Liu Yan, don't get agitated. I'm so sorry." Liu Yan said, "Oh, Jinling, why are you talking so much nonsense today!

What happened to Xu Hui? How could she, how could she..." Jinling said, "Liu Yan, Ouyang told me himself that Xu Hui passed away last year before their wedding." Liu Yan's lips trembled as she said, "How could this be, how could this be... how could this happen?!" Jinling said, "This is what Ouyang told me himself. That day, the woman Liang Chao and I saw at Lingyin Temple, the woman with Ouyang, is Ouyang's current fiancée, his fiancée. Ouyang isn't married yet, not yet. Liu Yan, do you understand, do you understand?"

Liu Yan's heart was pounding in her throat, and she couldn't speak. She could only murmur "Mmm." Jin Ling said, "I was really excited when I heard it this afternoon, but I still didn't tell you about your situation, Liu Yan. Do you know why?" Liu Yan asked, "Why?" Liu Yan felt her throat tighten. Jin Ling said, "I was ashamed of misunderstanding him and afraid of making another mistake, so I wanted to find out his thoughts on you first." Liu Yan hurriedly asked, "What did he say?" Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I'll be honest with you. He seemed very averse to your breakup back then. I only said a few words and he left. Liu Yan, now I understand his situation clearly. You two still need to resolve your issues.

His current fiancée has only known him for less than a year; she's also a college graduate. Oh, by the way, Ouyang is now working in Jinling. Their research institute has moved to Jinling, and Ouyang is now the Party Secretary and Dean of the institute. Liu Yan, I feel you two have a chance. Although Ouyang seems to care a lot about your breakup back then, I still feel you two have a chance."

Liu Yan started trembling as she listened to Jin Ling, her hand holding the phone shaking. She was speechless. Jin Ling asked, "Liu Yan, how do you feel? Is this how you feel?"

Liu Yan nodded repeatedly, tears streaming down her face. Jinling, of course, couldn't see it, and asked on the phone, "Liu Yan, are you listening? Are you listening?" Liu Yan choked up and said, "I'm listening, I'm listening." After a pause, she asked urgently, "What was Ouyang doing at your house?" Jinling said "Oh," and then said, "Look at me, I forgot to mention that. Liu Yan, did you give him two thousand yuan when you broke up with him?" Liu Yan said, "Yes." Jinling said, "She gave me five thousand yuan, wanting me to pass it on to you, but I didn't take it." Liu Yan said, "I secretly left the two thousand yuan for him." Jinling said, "Liu Yan, let's not talk about money now. I thought about it all afternoon before calling you, and I didn't know how to say it. Actually, I'm worried that Ouyang won't accept you. In fact, he did say some things. I'm worried about him, worried that he can't forgive you, worried that if he really can't forgive you, it will hurt you even more. But I forgot all about it while talking to you, and I couldn't control myself. Liu Yan, do you think Ouyang can still accept you? You need to seriously consider this. I really don't want you to be hurt again."

Liu Yan said, "Jinling, I'm confident he'll accept me, he'll accept the child, he definitely will." Jinling asked, "Are you really that confident?" Liu Yan said, "I'm sure he will, he definitely will." Jinling said, "I trust your intuition, I trust your confidence. Liu Yan, it would be perfect if you could get back together with Ouyang this time." Liu Yan said, "Yes, I definitely will."

Jinling said, "Liu Yan, there's no rush. I think you should seriously consider this. Now we know Ouyang's situation, and we know where he is. What I mean is, don't rush to contact him now. Think it over carefully before contacting him, okay? Ideally, I think it would be best to see him in person; things aren't clear over the phone." Liu Yan said:

"That's fine. But Jinling, don't worry, Ouyang will definitely accept me."

Jinling said, "Liu Yan, we need to consider the issue comprehensively now, and there are some things I have to say. Ouyang's current fiancée also graduated from the same university as him, and she's very beautiful. She's also a woman who has never been married. Ouyang already harbors resentment about your breakup with him, and besides, you have a child. Whether he'll accept you or not, we need to seriously consider this. This is the reality; you need to think about it." Hearing this, Liu Yan's heart sank, but she immediately said, "Jinling," "I believe he will. Jinling, I won't hide it from you anymore, Ruhan is his child, really his child."

Jinling was stunned, then asked after a moment, "What did you say? You said Ruhan is his child?" Liu Yan said, "Jinling, I would never lie to you about this, it is indeed his child, I can guarantee it! This, this can be proven by a paternity test." Jinling exclaimed, "Liu Yan, my God, you two deserve to be husband and wife in this life. That's wonderful, that's wonderful. Liu Yan, this solves all the problems." Liu Yan then began to sob again. Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I won't ask you what exactly happened right now, it's hard to explain over the phone, but I now understand your feelings for Ouyang from the very beginning, feelings that no one else can compare to. The more this is the case, the more seriously we need to consider seeing Ouyang. We must think it through carefully before going to him. A cooked duck can't fly away, so don't rush things and make things worse. Let's discuss it properly before deciding what to do, okay?"

Liu Yan nodded and said, "Okay, I'm not in a hurry, not in a hurry." Jin Ling said, "The problem now is how to open Ouyang's heart. Another problem is, you said Ru Han is his child, but he doesn't know that, right? How can we convince him that Ru Han is his child? We must consider all of these things carefully. Liu Yan, no matter what, Ouyang has always had feelings for you..." "If we suddenly reveal that Ruhan is his child, Ouyang might become suspicious, which wouldn't be good. Besides, he has a very beautiful fiancée. To get Ouyang to abandon his fiancée and accept you, we need to think it through carefully and not rush things. I think we should seriously consider what's feasible these next two days. If needed, I'll go with you to Jinling to find him. Oh, and take Ruhan with us. I'll call him in a couple of days and say I'm in Jinling on business, then we'll both go to Jinling and go directly to him. What do you think?" Liu Yan said, "Okay." Jinling said, "Liu Yan, my mind is also very confused right now. Let's think it over carefully before deciding. Think it over carefully." Liu Yan said, "Okay, I know, this matter needs serious consideration." After a few more words, they hung up the phone.

After hanging up, Liu Yan stood up and paced back and forth in the room. Her mind was filled with images of Ouyang Yiming. After a while, she opened the bedroom door, walked to the nanny's door, and knocked. The nanny opened the door and asked if something was wrong. Liu Yan glanced at Ru Han, who was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, and said softly, "Ru Han is asleep." As soon as she finished speaking, Ru Han sat up abruptly, giggling, and said, "Mommy, I'm not asleep yet." The nanny smiled and said, "I don't know why Ru Han is so excited tonight." Liu Yan looked at her without saying anything. She walked to the bedside and asked Ru Han, "Ru Han, would you like to sleep with Mommy tonight?" Ru Han jumped up, shouting, "Yes, yes, I want to sleep with Mommy!" She then threw herself into Liu Yan's arms.

Liu Yan carried Ru Han to her own bed and put her down. Ru Han giggled and lay down on the bed, turning over to settle herself in. Liu Yan lay down beside Ru Han, looking at him, and asked, "Ru Han, do you miss your dad?" The smile on Ru Han's face slowly disappeared, replaced by a blank and expectant look. He nodded very solemnly and said, "Yes." He immediately asked, "Mom, where is Dad?

Why doesn't he come home?" Liu Yan said, "Your dad is very busy. He's a scientist, you know? Your dad is a scientist. Shall we go see him in a few days?" Ru Han nodded and said okay, then asked, "Mom, what does Dad look like?" Liu Yan's heart ached, and tears welled up in her eyes. She hugged Ru Han and said, "Your dad is very tall and handsome." Ru Han nestled in Liu Yan's arms and asked, "Will Dad recognize Ru Han?" Liu Yan's tears flowed, and she said, "Yes, he will, he definitely will. You are his son, his son!" She quietly wiped away her tears, and then heard Ru Han ask, "Mom, does Dad miss you?" Liu Yan nodded and said, "Dad misses Mom, Dad misses Mom!" As she spoke, tears streamed down her face. Ruhan was held tightly in Liu Yan's arms, but she didn't notice that Liu Yan was crying. She asked again, "Mom, do you miss Dad?" Liu Yan nodded a few times and said, "Mom misses Dad too, and I miss your dad too." Ruhan asked, "But why doesn't Dad come even once? Everyone else's dad is home, but Ruhan's dad isn't." Liu Yan said, "We'll be together soon, very soon. Go to sleep, listen to Mom and go to sleep!" Ruhan stirred, a smile on her face, lay flat, and closed her eyes.

Liu Yan gently patted Ru Han's face, her eyes fixed on Ru Han's little face, thinking, "Ru Han, you're about to see your father. I know you miss him, and I miss him too. It'll be soon, very soon you'll see your father, your real father." As she thought this, the image of Ouyang Yiming flickered before her eyes, and she thought again, "Yiming, do you know your son misses you too? He misses you. He's asked me so many times about his father, but I couldn't answer him before, I just couldn't answer him! I only said you were very, very far away, only said you were very, very busy. Yiming

, your own son misses you, but I miss you even more! Yiming, do you miss us, mother and son? You miss us too, don't you?" Tears streamed down her face as she thought this. Ru Han stirred, opened her eyes, and looked at Liu Yan with tears in her eyes, asking, "Mommy, why are you crying?" Liu Yan was startled and quickly wiped away her tears, saying, "Mommy isn't crying, Mommy's just closing her eyes. Sleep now, be good." Ru Han looked at her and nodded.

Liu Yan turned off the light, thinking, "Ruhan is really strange tonight. He was already asleep at this time before. Could he know he's going to see his biological father? Can such a young child have a premonition?" She was surprised as she thought this, and muttered to herself, "Yiming, can you believe it? Your son doesn't want to sleep tonight for some reason. He was asleep long ago. He's so excited! Yiming, our family of three is about to be reunited, about to be reunited..." Thinking this, she felt both incredibly excited and deeply saddened, and tears streamed down her face without her realizing it. Suddenly, Xu Hui's image flashed before his eyes, and his heart sank instantly. He lamented inwardly, "Xu Hui, how could you... how could you die so young? How could your life be so short! Heaven is so unfair to you! I only said my fate was unfortunate, I never imagined yours would be so short too. You were so outstanding, so beautiful, why did Heaven have to be so unfair to you!" At that moment, he thought of how much of a blow Xu Hui's departure would be to Ouyang Yiming. How could Ouyang Yiming withstand such a blow? He had thought that Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui would live happily ever after, that they would be very loving together. How could things have turned out like this? He then remembered his misunderstanding about Ouyang Yiming and his current fiancée, and secretly blamed himself for thinking that way about him. Then she sighed inwardly, "Yiming, why do all three of us have to suffer this fate?

Although I long for our family of three to be together every day, I really don't want Xu Hui to pass away so early, and I don't want you two to experience the pain of separation by life and death!" Thinking of this, she felt sad for Ouyang Yiming and shed tears.

Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind: "Will Ouyang Yiming truly be willing to break up with that girl? Will he truly accept me and my son? Will he even believe that Ruhan is his biological son? He knew absolutely nothing about me giving birth to Ruhan. To suddenly say that I gave birth to his son so early, even though the timing is correct, he won't immediately accept it. At that point, I'll have to patiently explain, or... or I'll have them do a paternity test. I believe that Ouyang Yiming will eventually accept his biological child. But will Ouyang Yiming really accept me? After all, I was the one who broke up with him back then. After all, I've been living with Zhang Lei for over a year. After all... after all, Zhang Lei and I..." They'd been married for over a year. His current fiancée is a young woman, a very beautiful and well-educated one. This woman clearly loves Ouyang Yiming very much; would she be so generous as to give up her love and return Ouyang Yiming to me and Ruhan? Could Ouyang Yiming have already had a relationship with this woman? If so, it would be even more troublesome.

Thinking of this, she trembled. Then she thought, "All of these are possible. He and I had a relationship only a few months after we started dating. Back then, he was just a naive student, yet he was so bold. Now he's this age; it's entirely possible. If they've had many sexual encounters, then this woman..." How could anyone willingly leave him? Ouyang Yiming is a man of status now, and besides, he's so charming and handsome!

If I were the woman beside him, would I be willing to leave him so easily, giving away the man I'd given my body to, and handing over the love in my heart to another woman? If Ouyang Yiming were willing to accept me and Ru Han, then this woman might also be very difficult for him to get rid of. At that time, Ouyang Yiming would truly be in a difficult situation, and he would be tormented once again. Even if the woman beside him is truly open-minded and willing to leave him, it would be very painful. My God, how could this happen! Why didn't Ouyang Yiming... after Xu Hui's death... "It was through contact with this woman beside him that I learned about Ouyang Yiming's situation. They'd only known each other for less than a year. Why did fate delay letting me know about Xu Hui's death for these past few months? Isn't this deliberately tormenting me and Ouyang Yiming? And even this innocent girl!" At this moment, Liu Yan felt her body trembling. "Everything that seems so close isn't so easily obtained; it requires a lot of consideration, a comprehensive consideration. No wonder Jin Ling told me to think it over carefully! The one involved is often blinded; it seems all issues require serious thought."

Thinking this, Liu Yan broke out in a cold sweat, even regretting telling Jin Ling that Ouyang Yiming would definitely accept her. How could it be so absolute?

Liu Yan sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard, her eyes wide, staring blankly ahead, her heart trembling and her body shaking. What should she do? These were all things she needed to consider; these were all possibilities. What if, by then, Ouyang Yiming can't accept me, a divorced woman? Or what if he can't bear to part with the woman beside him? Or what if he's already developed deep feelings for that woman? Or what if he's wholeheartedly willing to accept me but faces pressure from the woman beside him and is unable to accept or give me up? How would that be a difficult situation to handle?

Yes, everything needs to be considered, carefully considered. Reality once again plunged Liu Yan into an extremely complex state of fear and distress.

Liu Yan couldn't help but cry out in her heart, "Heavens, please have pity on me and my son Ru Han! Don't make us suffer any more. We are exhausted, both physically and mentally. Let Ru Han and me return to Ouyang Yiming's side!"

As she repeated this in her heart, she thought of Tan Qihao again, thinking, "My situation with Tan Qihao is easy to handle. We've never had any intimate interactions, and I don't owe him anything. Even when we eat together, I usually pay the bill. Tan Qihao knows about my relationship with Ouyang Yiming. If I tell him all this, he'll understand the reunion of our family of three. But he'll definitely be in pain too; I know his feelings for me. I can only say sorry, Tan Qihao. But I will never hesitate to return to Ouyang Yiming's side. I love Ouyang Yiming; no other man in this world has ever made me so devoted. In fact, my heart has never truly held any other man besides Ouyang Yiming. Tan Qihao, I'm sorry!"

Suddenly, she heard Ru Han's giggles in her sleep. Liu Yan looked down at Ru Han, thinking, "What did this child dream about? Did he dream about meeting his biological father?"

A strong maternal love welled up within her, and she thought to herself, "Ouyang Yiming, even for Ru Han's sake, for our shared son, I will go see you. Even if you can't accept me, at this time I want you to know that Ru Han is your biological son. I want you to know why I left you back then."

That night, Liu Yan couldn't sleep. She welcomed the dawn amidst a mix of excitement, worry, fear, and beautiful daydreams of reunion...

Love and Desire (180)

Chapter 178

The next morning, Liu Yan sat restlessly in her office, occasionally handling two work-related matters absentmindedly. Wang Jingjing had come to Liu Yan's office twice, wanting to talk to her about something at work. Seeing Liu Yan's expression, she knew she had something on her mind, so she didn't dare to say anything or ask what was wrong. After leaving, she kept sighing as she thought about Liu Yan's marriage. A few days ago, she chatted with Liu Yan about Tan Qihao. Liu Yan only said that Tan Qihao was a good person, but never mentioned any feelings for him. Her tone and expression made it clear to Wang Jingjing, who was already deeply in love, that Liu Yan didn't have much affection for this man. Their marriage was merely to create a relatively harmonious family. This saddened Wang Jingjing. Although she had told Liu Yan twice that a marriage should be based on love, Liu Yan only smiled faintly each time and said, "My situation is different from yours," and then refused to say anything more. After

a while, Liu Yan couldn't help but dial the phone number for Jin Ling's ward. Jin Ling answered the phone and said, "Liu Yan, I thought about it almost all night last night and talked to Liang Chao for a long time. There are some things I need to ask you in detail. It's inconvenient for me to be at work right now, so I'll call you tonight and we can talk about it in more detail." Liu Yan agreed.

Liu Yan spent the morning in a state of excitement, anticipation, worry, and a mix of other complex emotions. She longed to talk to someone about this. She thought of her mother, but after some consideration, she still didn't want to tell her. She knew her mother would be thrilled to learn about Ouyang Yiming's situation, would fully support her going to see him, and would even want her to live with him. But she still didn't want to talk to her mother about it. Her mother's actions in breaking her up with Ouyang Yiming years ago had left a deep imprint on her heart, making her unconsciously afraid and instinctively wanting to reject her mother's opinions. She only wanted to discuss this with Jin Ling now, knowing that Jin Ling's work hours wouldn't allow for much detail. She hoped Jin Ling would call that evening so she could tell her her thoughts and worries, and explain in detail why she had conceived Ouyang Yiming's child years ago. She lamented the distance; if they were closer, she would go to Jin Ling immediately. Now, she could only wait anxiously.

Even after returning to work in the afternoon, Wang Jingjing was still worried about Liu Yan and couldn't help but go to Liu Yan's office. After sitting down, she asked, "Director Liu, is something on your mind?" Liu Yan was startled and quickly replied, "Nothing, nothing." Wang Jingjing said, "We're both women, how could I not see something on your mind! Director Liu, if you trust me, just tell me what's wrong. Even if I can't help you much, I might be able to give you some advice. I noticed you seemed very preoccupied today, is it because of that...that university professor?" Liu Yan shook her head, then nodded, saying, "Partly because of him. Jingjing, I want to ask you again, do you think he and I are a good match?" Wang Jingjing looked at her and said, "Director Liu, this man has come to the club a few times. Although I don't know him well, I can tell you don't have romantic feelings for him. I think...I think you don't really have feelings for him." "Honestly

, although you've said before that you're a divorced woman, and your thoughts might be a little different from ours, you're only two or three years older than me, so we should be similar in our thinking. I just can't understand why, even though you're a divorced woman, you can completely accept a man in your heart, or at least have feelings for him? To be honest, I've seen him come twice, and both times you seemed to have some... how should I put it? It seemed like you didn't want him to come here, like you were afraid of being seen by others or what they might say about him. I think that means your heart can't connect with his. If you can't connect heart to heart, how can you have a good quality of life in the future? Director Liu, I won't hide my opinion, I feel that you two are not suitable." Liu Yan listened with her head down, and then said, "Actually, he's a very good person, it's just..." Wang Jingjing said, "It's just that you yourself feel that you don't have a connection with him heart to heart.

" Liu Yan said, "You're right..." At this point, Liu Yan wanted to talk to Wang Jingjing about Ouyang Yiming, but after thinking about it, she held back. The outcome with Ouyang Yiming is still uncertain, and it's best to keep their relationship a secret at work. Wang Jingjing said, "Director Liu, be honest, have you encountered someone again that's causing you inner conflict between two men?" Liu Yan was startled again, glancing at Wang Jingjing, thinking that perhaps her words had alerted her, and didn't want to ask why Wang Jingjing brought it up.

She thought to herself, "I have absolutely no conflicting feelings about Ouyang Yiming and Tan Qihao. As long as Ouyang Yiming can accept me, I will be by his side without hesitation." But the problem now is that she's very worried about whether Ouyang Yiming will accept her, or how to reliably get him to accept her. Liu Yan really didn't want to talk about these things with Wang Jingjing, even though she wanted to talk to others about it, and knew that Wang Jingjing would definitely support her being with Ouyang Yiming after hearing about it, or could give her some advice or words to encourage her. But she still didn't want to tell Wang Jingjing. So she said, "Jingjing, don't make wild guesses. Things between Tan Qihao and me aren't finalized yet, and I'm not here today for his sake. Let's talk about it in a few days." Wang Jingjing looked at her, knowing Liu Yan didn't want to talk about her feelings, and didn't ask further. After sitting for a while, she got up to leave.

Liu Yan didn't eat much dinner, her eyes involuntarily fixed on Ruhan, her mind drifting to Ouyang Yiming. Unexpectedly, while Ruhan was eating, he asked again, "Mom, when are we going to see my dad?" Liu Yan blushed instantly, looking at the nanny, speechless. The nanny smiled and said, "Sister Liu, Ruhan mentioned going to see his dad several times today." Liu Yan's heart pounded, her face flushed, and she uttered an "Oh," lowering her head. Ruhan said, "My mom said my dad is a scientist, and she said she'll take me to see him in the next few days." Liu Yan quickly looked up at Ruhan and said, "Ruhan, talk less while eating." Ruhan nodded in agreement. At this moment, Liu Yan deeply regretted not controlling herself the night before and telling Ru Han about going to see his father. What would she tell her son if Ouyang Yiming truly didn't want to accept her? Yet, in a fleeting moment, her resolve hardened. For her son's sake, she had to find Ouyang Yiming and fight for a family reunion. Liu Yan looked at the nanny and said, "Don't tell anyone outside." The nanny nodded.

This nanny was a replacement for the previous nanny, a very composed young woman. Seeing Ru Han stop eating and look at her, Liu Yan said, "Ru Han, Mom doesn't have time these days. Let's talk about it in a few days, okay? Don't talk about these things outside." Ru Han nodded several times and said, "Okay, I'll listen to Mom." Liu Yan felt a pang of sadness. The nanny, however, was puzzled. She knew that in this kind of family, things that shouldn't be asked or said shouldn't be spoken casually—something her parents had repeatedly warned her about when she came to work for Liu Yan.

After dinner, Liu Yan stayed in her bedroom, finally receiving a call from Jin Ling. She picked up the phone and asked, "Jin Ling, tell me your thoughts in detail." Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I was also very emotional last night and didn't ask you about you and Ouyang in detail. Could you tell me about you and Ouyang in detail?" Liu Yan thought to herself, "I've thought about this all day. Even if you didn't ask, I would have told you about giving birth to Ouyang Yiming's child." So she roughly recounted the events of that year. When she talked about that night with Zhang Lei, she still didn't have the courage to admit that she had watched the pornographic video. She admitted that she couldn't control herself when she first saw those scenes, only saying that Zhang Lei and Wu Min had orchestrated the conspiracy, which was indeed true. She then recounted the events that followed and her desire to have Ouyang Yiming's child at that time.

Jinling began to cry as she listened, and by the time Liu Yan finished speaking, she was sobbing uncontrollably, saying, "Liu Yan, I... I never imagined your experiences would be so bitter, I never imagined you would go through such torment. Liu Yan, I admire you, I admire your courage, I admire your feelings for Ouyang. To be honest, last night I still found it hard to understand why you gave birth to Ouyang's child, but now I only have respect for what you did. Liu Yan, Ouyang Yiming will be moved if he knows this, he definitely will." Liu Yan said through tears, "Jinling, I also want to tell you what's on my mind. Before, I was afraid people would know that Ruhan is my illegitimate child with Ouyang Yiming, even you and I..." I dare not say, for fear it might affect Ruhan's future development. But I have never regretted my firm decision to have Ouyang Yiming's child back then, truly not. I never thought that having Ouyang Yiming's child would lead to a day when we would be reunited. At that time, I thought that we would never be able to live together again. I loved him, and I wanted to keep his child by my side, to hold onto my hopes for him, and also to get revenge on Zhang Lei. In a sense, it was Zhang Lei who asked me to stay by his side. I thought then, "Zhang Lei, you separated me from Ouyang Yiming, I will also have a child with him. You, Zhang Lei, may have my body in this life, but you will never have my heart." "My heart will always belong to Ouyang Yiming. I've thought about telling Ouyang Yiming that Ruhan is his biological son someday, but I've never thought of using this child to get back with him. Do you understand how I feel?"

Jin Ling said, "I understand, I completely understand. Liu Yan, I thought about this almost all night last night. I think if you go directly to see Ouyang, there might not be some things you can say to him.

Ouyang Yiming has a prejudice against you right now, and he might not accept it immediately. What Liang Chao and I discussed was that I would go to see Ouyang first and tell him about your situation, the whole story. I want to say it from my own mouth..." He'll listen carefully to what's going on with you. I think Ouyang will be moved by what you've said, and your family of three will definitely be reunited. Liu Yan said excitedly, "Jinling, it's so kind of you and Liang Chao to think of everything. Thank you so much, and thank you both, my child and I." Jinling said irritably, "Oh, Liu Yan, you're making me angry. What are you thanking me for? This is what I should do. Here's what we'll do: I'll take care of some work and family matters in the next couple of days and go to Jinling as soon as possible. I think I might have to stay there for a few days. Once I've talked to Ouyang, you can take the child and come over immediately. I'll wait for you in Jinling." Liu Yan readily agreed. After a moment, she said, "Jinling, I'm really worried and scared right now. I'm afraid... I'm afraid Ouyang won't accept me, afraid he'll despise me. I'm also afraid... I'm afraid of hurting that woman, afraid Ouyang won't want to leave that woman."

"I don't know how far things have progressed between Ouyang and that woman. Another thing is, will Ouyang care about what people think of him if we get together? He's a very proud person, I know him." Jinling said, "Actually, Liang Chao and I have considered all of these things you've thought of. To be honest, we're both very worried. So I need to talk to Ouyang seriously about your situation first. Liu Yan, don't worry, I think just because Ruhan is Ouyang's son, he'll consider it, he definitely will." Liu Yan nodded repeatedly on the other end of the phone, then said after a moment, "Jinling, if Ouyang accepts us, it will definitely hurt the girl beside him. Ouyang might be in a very difficult position. I'm afraid... I'm afraid Ouyang has already had a relationship with that girl. If that's the case, it will be difficult, and even more difficult for Ouyang Yiming. Jinling, to be honest, I'm also worried that after so many years without seeing Ouyang, what has become of him? Will he no longer care about me, a woman who's already married? Will he already love the girl beside him?"

"I've thought about it too. If Ouyang is really in a difficult position, if he cares a lot about me being a divorced woman, or if he cares a lot about what people think of him, or if he's already indifferent to me, or if he really cares about the girl beside him, or if he really cares a lot about what others think of him..." Jinling interrupted her, saying, "Liu Yan, don't think so much. There's no need to think so much now.

I think... I think if Ouyang Yiming still doesn't want to accept you after I tell him all this, then he's not a man of integrity, and he's not worthy of your love. But I think Ouyang isn't that kind of person." Liu Yan said, "You can't say that. Ouyang isn't the Ouyang he used to be. He has a lot to face, many things to deal with, and he'll also be in a difficult position. I really don't want him to be in a difficult position because of me, because that would make me uneasy. He has to seriously consider everything, just that girl..." Jinling felt a little guilty and said, "If necessary, I can talk to that girl too. There's no need to speculate too much now. We'll only know the truth after we do it." "I'm very confident, I don't think there will be any problems." Liu Yan said, "After you meet Ouyang , be sure not to put pressure on him. I can understand whatever decision he makes." Jin Ling said, "

Don't worry, I will definitely think it through before I go to him. I will think through everything I can imagine before I go to him. Liu Yan, this matter cannot be rushed, we must think it through carefully. Don't be too impatient either." Liu Yan said, "I know." Liu Yan said, but in her heart she thought, "How can I not be impatient! Ru Han was already anxious when he heard that he was going to go to his father.

But this is definitely not something to be rushed, there will be some twists and turns. Ouyang Yiming needs to be considered." Jin Ling said, "There is one more thing, I think you should not talk to Tan Qichao about this matter before you know for sure what happened with Ouyang Yiming. I think you will handle Tan Qichao's situation well in the future." Liu Yan said, "I don't think there will be many problems with him. But it will definitely hurt people." Jin Ling said, "Don't always think about hurting this person or that person, don't think too much." "Pursuing your and your child's happiness is the most important thing." Actually, from yesterday until now, Jinling hadn't considered hurting anyone too much; she was just worried about whether Ouyang would accept Liu Yan. If he really didn't want to accept Liu Yan, then this blow to Liu Yan would be enormous. Liu Yan said, "I said I wouldn't consider it, but I still have to. Jinling, do you think Ouyang will look down on me?" Jinling then retorted, "You, you, do you really need to consider these things now? If Ouyang really looks down on you, then you don't need to be with him, and he doesn't deserve to be with you. You've given him so much, given him feelings that are unimaginable to ordinary people. If he still cares about you because you were forced to leave him back then—no, because you were thinking of him—and you gave him a son, any man with a conscience would be moved. If he really looks down on you for something, I'll give him a piece of my mind without you even having to say it. You believe I can do it, so you don't need to give your feelings to that kind of man anymore." Liu Yan panicked upon hearing this and hurriedly said, "

Jinling, you can't do this no matter what. He knew nothing about giving birth to Ruhan, how can you blame him! Jinling, I think after he knows the truth, he might not blame me for leaving him back then, but whether he can accept me is another matter. If he has already had a relationship with that girl, what if she clings to him and won't let go? He is the director of the research institute, after all. If things get out of hand, what will Ouyang's situation be like? I can't imagine it, and I don't want him to be like that. If such a situation arises, I absolutely don't want Ouyang to suffer like that. I would rather give him up than let him suffer like that. Don't say anything more in front of Ouyang, please don't make things difficult for him. As long as he can live well, I will be content. Although I very much hope that Ruhan and I can live with him, I absolutely don't want him to suffer too much. I love him, and I can't hurt him." This time, Ruhan is his child, and he'll definitely know. As long as he can accept Ruhan in his heart and the child can recognize him as his father when he grows up, I'll be content. If he's too troubled and can't accept me, I'll understand, and I won't ask for too much." Liu Yan said, her heart heavy with sorrow. She didn't want Ouyang Yiming to suffer any of the injustices, but deep down, she so desperately wanted to live with him, and so desperately wanted Ruhan to live with his biological parents! Her biggest worry was Ruhan's future development!

Jin Ling, hearing Liu Yan's words, burst into tears, saying, "Liu Yan, don't say anymore. I'll do my best. I think Ouyang will be moved by your feelings; he's always been a sentimental person!" As Jin Ling spoke to Liu Yan, she thought to herself, "Liu Yan, just for your feelings for Ouyang, even if I have to plead with him until my lips are sore, cry and beg, even kneel before him, I will pull him back from that other woman!" Liu Yan said, "Jinling, try your best. It has to be mutual." Jinling said, "I know, I'll handle it. That's settled then, Liu Yan. I'll arrange things at home, take leave, and go right away. I'll call you when I get there, and I'll keep you updated on everything.

Don't worry at home." Liu Yan said tearfully, "I know, I know." The morning after Ouyang

Yiming returned to Jinling from Hangzhou, Vice President Wang and several key leaders from the Panzhou Research Institute arrived in Jinling. The office director handed Ouyang Yiming several letters, saying they had been sent to Panzhou recently. Ouyang Yiming glanced at them briefly and put them in his briefcase. A brief meeting was held in the conference room, after which Ouyang Yiming led everyone to the newly built research building and the dormitory building under construction. After inspecting the various locations, he pointed out some specific projects that needed improvement and instructed the infrastructure office to carefully supervise the acceptance process. They ate lunch at the research institute's canteen, and afterwards rested at the guesthouse. In the afternoon, meetings continued to be held to arrange specific matters such as the relocation of the Panzhou Industrial Zone research office to Jinling. After the meeting, Vice President Wang discussed with Ouyang Yiming the introduction of a profile production line from the German company, Lemette Plastics. Vice President Wang said that the municipal party committee had approved the proposal, and they were currently processing some specific procedures for an overseas inspection trip. A vice mayor from Panzhou City and the director of the Science and Technology Commission would accompany them. It was estimated that all procedures would be completed soon.

That evening, they had dinner... Afterwards, Ouyang Yiming returned to his dormitory and remembered the letter the office director had given him that morning. He picked up his briefcase and glanced at two letters. One letter's handwriting seemed familiar, and the return address was simply "Jiang Han." His heart pounded. He had no friends in Jiang Han, only Liu Yan. Could it be from her? He hurriedly opened the letter. Although he hadn't seen Liu Yan's handwriting in so many years, he recognized it immediately. A sudden headache struck him. Ouyang Yiming wondered, why would Liu Yan suddenly write to him? Without thinking, he quickly read on. The letter read: "Yiming: Hello!

I couldn't help but write this letter to you!

As someone who always hopes you are happy, I sincerely hope you cherish your current achievements, your happy family, and your relationship with Xu Hui!

Not long ago, at Lingyin Temple in Hangzhou, I saw you with a woman other than your wife. I was shocked. I think this is not how Ouyang Yiming should behave."

I've always seen you as honest, steady, and devoted. I only hope that you won't do anything foolish as your status changes, anything that would hurt your wife and harm such a pure woman as Xu Hui. As a friend who has always cared about you, I don't want to see you fall from grace. Some people do fall into depravity after achieving some success, but I don't want you to be one of them.

Yiming, you probably know who I am, or you might not, but you should understand what I'm talking about. To be honest, I'm very disappointed in your actions. I never want you to be the kind of person I despise. I sincerely hope that for the sake of your happy family, for your beautiful wife Xu Hui, and for your own future, you will never do anything so foolish again.

Yiming, I'm writing this letter entirely for your own good. I have no ill intentions; I only hope you can pull back from the brink and become a person everyone respects. Be the honest and steady person you were years ago. I sincerely hope you can be happy.

Yiming, I hope this letter can awaken you from your confusion and make you realize your mistakes. Of course, if you don't want to pay attention, there's nothing I can do, but I hope you can understand my good intentions.

Wishing you a happy family!

A friend who hopes you will always be happy. Under the lamp, Ouyang Yiming understood: "Liu Yan

is misunderstanding me because of what Jin Ling told her about her relationship with Jia Ruorui. Regardless of whether Liu Yan misunderstood me, this is her concern for me, it's well-intentioned. It shows she still cares about me!" Ouyang Yiming felt particularly excited, even somewhat moved.

He murmured, "She hasn't forgotten me, she's still caring about me." At this moment, Ouyang Yiming also became unusually excited. Long-forgotten memories flooded back, and he thought to himself,

"Liu Yan, thank you for your concern, thank you for reminding me like this. Although you misunderstood me, I'm still very touched that you wrote this letter. Liu Yan, don't worry, I won't become the kind of person you think I am, I will never be the kind of person you misunderstand. How are you doing now? Although you are now a wife, although we will never be together again in this life, I will never erase you from my heart. I often think of you, and I will always wish you happiness."

Ouyang Yiming was overwhelmed with emotion. He picked up a pen and paper, wanting to write a reply to Liu Yan, but then he thought, "Never mind, Jin Ling already knows the truth, and she will definitely tell her." Liu Yan hadn't left her address or even her name in the letter, so she probably didn't want him to write back. Never mind, he wouldn't bother her anymore. Writing a reply would only be an explanation; since Jin Ling would tell her, there was no need to write back. Liu Yan, thank you!

That night, Ouyang Yiming had a dream. He dreamt that he was with Liu Yan, embracing under the tree at Wuchao Gate… Two days later, in the morning, Jin Ling called. Ouyang Yiming was surprised to receive the call. Jin Ling said, “Dean Ouyang, I’m going to Jinling to visit you today. I’m worried you won’t be hospitable!”

Ouyang Yiming said, “Of course not, I’ll definitely treat you warmly.” Jin Ling said, “Don’t just say that while you’re actually happy. I didn’t do that thing for you!” Ouyang Yiming knew Jin Ling was referring to the money for Liu Yan, and laughed, “You think I’m so stingy! I’ve thought about it since I got back, and you do have your reasons.” Jin Ling said, “I’m going to collect the money from you, and there’s something very important I need to tell you.” Ouyang Yiming thought she was joking and said, “Thank you so much. But, but I think I should send it directly to Liu Yan after a while.” Jin Ling said, “See, you’re still angry with me. Liu Yan…” "I asked, and there really is that two thousand yuan, but Liu Yan said she doesn't want you to return it to her." Ouyang Yiming said, "I will never leave that money here." Jin Ling said, "Let's talk about it when I see you." Ouyang Yiming asked doubtfully, "Are you really coming to Jinling? Are you here on business?" Jin Ling said, "Would I lie to you? I really am going. I'll leave in a bit and arrive this afternoon. I'm not going for anything else, just to see you about something very important. So I need to call you first. The leaders are all very busy, and I don't want you to come all this way for nothing. Sigh, you're not going anywhere these next couple of days, are you?"

Although Ouyang Yiming was suspicious, he didn't believe she would come to Jinling just to get the money Liu Yan left behind. He still said, "Nowhere. Call me when you get off the bus, and I'll come pick you up." Jin Ling agreed.

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