Love and Desire [Complete] - 26

Love and Desire (171)

Chapter 169

In the following days, Ouyang Yiming would often think of Bai Xue. Sometimes he would sigh for her plight, and sometimes he would feel particularly timid and guilty, as if the unspeakable things he and Bai Xue had done had been discovered by his colleagues...

He also often thought about finding a partner for Li Xuan. He searched his mind for the unmarried male researchers in the research institute. He felt that there were a few who could pass his test, but he always felt that they were not good enough for Li Xuan. In the end, he decided on Zhong Zhigang, an undergraduate graduate who had joined the institute two years ago.

Ouyang Yiming was familiar with all the researchers in the research institute. Zhong Zhigang was also a chemical engineering major. He was very capable and had independently completed some projects such as "capsanthin".

He was from a rural area in Panzhou. He was 1.72 meters tall and very clean. He had a round, chubby face with fair skin and always had a smile on his face. The only drawback was that this man was a man of few words, and when he spoke, he never dared to look the other person in the eye. He appeared honest and unassuming, but by no means weak or cowardly. He was gentle in nature and had a good reputation within the research institute. Ouyang Yiming admired Zhong Zhigang's honesty and steadiness, and considering the conditions Li Xuan had described, he felt that this man was quite suitable. Ouyang Yiming also believed that Li Xuan's personality was compatible with that of a man like him. He decided to tell Li Xuan about Zhong Zhigang's situation in a few days, and then arrange for them to meet after some of the labs had moved in.

That afternoon, Li Xuan called and immediately said, "Ouyang, how about treating us tonight? I haven't had your food for days, and I'm really craving it." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "You can't resist a drinking session! Just tell me what you want to eat, but let's not use the word 'treat' between us." Suddenly remembering the matter of introducing her to a boyfriend, he added, "But sometimes it's okay to say it casually. Tonight, you should treat me." Li Xuan giggled and said, "How many meals could I afford for you with my meager savings? I'd be treating you anyway! You never have before, and you never will." Ouyang Yiming laughed and then asked where they should eat. Li Xuan said, "Let's find a nice place tonight, let's bleed a little." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Are we going to be so wasteful? Can't you even satisfy your craving at a small bar?" Li Xuan said, "Not today, I'm going to bleed a little." Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Alright, alright, go ahead. You're in my hands, I can't stop you." Li Xuan laughed and then told him the specific restaurant and time.

Before leaving get off work, Ouyang Yiming's assistant said to him, "I just met with the construction team's project manager. He asked me to speak with you, asking if you're free tonight, saying you'd like to get together with some people from our infrastructure office." Ouyang Yiming frowned and said, "I don't have time, and even if I did, I wouldn't go. I've said this before: our people absolutely cannot accept invitations from the construction company. You haven't forgotten, have you? You should have handled this properly; was it really necessary to bring this up with me?" The assistant suddenly blushed and said, "I refused at the time, but he insisted I ask you, and I..." Ouyang Yiming said with annoyance, "Fine, I don't want to hear about this a second time." "Tell them, we appreciate their good intentions, and our research institute will hire them if they do a good job. But this kind of thing absolutely cannot happen while the project is under construction. Also, please check something. I've heard some rumors these past few days that someone in the infrastructure office has accepted several meals from the construction company. His job is to supervise the project quality; how can he supervise if he's accepted bribes? You should know who this person is; he thinks he can break principles just because he joined the institute early and is senior!

If you verify this, send him back to Panzhou immediately and hand him over to the human resources department for reassignment. I won't use such people here. If there's another one like this, I'll send them back immediately; I won't tolerate it." The assistant blushed and agreed.

Ouyang Yiming arrived at the restaurant Li Xuan had mentioned but didn't see her. Looking at the quaint and somewhat large restaurant, he wondered why Li Xuan had chosen such a place today. Previously, she always avoided spending money, preferring to eat at clean or unique, smaller restaurants. Why was she here today? After waiting at the door for a while, a doorman approached him and asked, "Excuse me, sir, is your surname Ouyang?" Ouyang Yiming nodded. The doorman said, "A lady surnamed Li is waiting for you in the 'Pine and Crane Hall' on the second floor."

Ouyang Yiming was even more puzzled, thinking to himself, "What's Li Xuan up to? So mysterious."

Upon reaching the second floor, a waiter led him to the half-closed door of the "Pine and Crane Hall," where he saw Li Xuan talking to a young woman. Ouyang Yiming was momentarily stunned. Li Xuan and the young woman quickly stood up, smiling and saying, "Dean Ouyang, we've been waiting for you for quite a while." Ouyang Yiming glanced at the young woman and said, "I came straight from work; how could I dare to neglect Section Chief Li!" Seeing the young woman looking at him, he nodded and smiled at her. Li Xuan said, "I brought my friend here for a fancy meal today. You're not worried about the cost, are you?" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "It would be a little expensive for you. But it's a different story when my friend comes." Li Xuan said, "You little rascal, Ouyang! I haven't even introduced you yet and you're already pushing me aside. Why don't you two eat while I go home?" She laughed. Then she said, "Let me introduce you." She raised her arm and gestured to the girl, saying, "This is the famous Ouyang Yiming, the vice president of the Provincial High-Tech Research Institute." She chuckled and said, "It should be emphasized that he is currently only the vice president; the president is concurrently the vice mayor of Panzhou City." The girl and Ouyang Yiming smiled at Li Xuan, then smiled at each other. Li Xuan then reached out and smiled at the girl, saying to Ouyang Yiming, "This is Ms. Jia Ruorui, an archivist at our district archives. She has a bachelor's degree, is twenty-three years old, and is a beautiful woman from Hangzhou." Hearing the word "Hangzhou," Ouyang Yiming instantly thought of Jin Ling and Zhu Haitao, and blurted out, "From Hangzhou?" The girl blushed and nodded. Ouyang Yiming blushed again and extended his hand, which the girl shook. Turning to Li Xuan, he said, "Zhu Haitao

is also from Hangzhou." Li Xuan said, "Yes, I haven't seen him for many years." Turning back to the girl, she said, "Zhu Haitao is our university classmate, also from Hangzhou." The girl nodded again, but glanced at Ouyang Yiming.

Ouyang Yiming saw that the girl was about 1.7 meters tall, with a classic oval face, and a pair of long, clear eyes that sparkled like black pearls. She wore small, frameless glasses. Her nose was straight and high, perfectly complementing her fair and delicate face. Her mouth was small, with rosy lips that resembled two flower petals. Her posture was ramrod straight, suggesting she had trained in dance or similar fitness programs since childhood; overall, she possessed an exceptionally graceful and pure charm. Such a woman naturally drew a second glance from Ouyang Yiming.

The three sat down, and Ouyang Yiming looked at Li Xuan and asked, "Have you ordered yet?" Li Xuan smiled and said, "How can we, the two guests, order without the host here?" Ouyang Yiming smiled, picked up the menu and handed it to her, saying, "Forget it, just order whatever you like. You know I don't like ordering." He then turned to Jia Ruorui and said, "Li Xuan and I are very good classmates, like siblings. Order whatever you like." Jia Ruorui blushed and smiled, saying, "I don't care." Li Xuan said, "Let me do it. You two are being so polite." She took the menu, flipped through it, and said, "Let's order Ouyang's sweet and sour fish first, otherwise Ouyang won't be happy." As she spoke, she turned to Jia Ruorui and said, "Ouyang's favorite food is sweet and sour fish. He's always had it in school." Jia Ruorui smiled and nodded. Then Li Xuan ordered a few more dishes, asking Jia Ruorui from time to time if she liked them. Before asking Jia Ruorui, "Would you like some beer today?"

Jia Ruorui shook her head and said, "I can't." Li Xuan smiled and said, "Okay, then let's have some soft drinks." Jia Ruorui nodded. Ouyang Yiming looked at her but didn't say anything.

The waiter left. Li Xuan picked up her teacup, took a sip, and looked at Ouyang Yiming, saying, "Ruorui is the niece of the head of the administrative section of our district office. I call Ruorui's aunt 'Auntie,' and she took good care of me when I was in the district. Ruorui is like my little sister." Ouyang Yiming nodded. Li Xuan smiled and said, "Speaking of which, the three of us should be classmates. Ruorui also graduated from our school." Ouyang Yiming was surprised and turned to look at Jia Ruorui, saying, "Really? That's quite a coincidence." Li Xuan said, "She just graduated last year, three years after us. We're alumni, so we're like senior and junior classmates." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "Of course, we came from the same school! You studied archives?" Jia Ruorui nodded and said, "Yes, I studied archival science." Ouyang Yiming said, "Working in the archives is very easy." Jia Ruorui said, "Yes, it's very easy." Li Xuan said, "That unit is just for keeping people employed. I'm envious."

Ouyang Yiming smiled, thinking to himself, "Even if you had such a leisurely job, you probably wouldn't be able to stay here. " He glanced at Jia Ruorui, and their eyes met as Jia Ruorui secretly looked at him. His face flushed instantly, and his heart pounded. Suddenly, he thought, "Li Xuan brought this girl to dinner; could it be to set me up with someone?" He looked up at Li Xuan and saw a complex smile on her face. He thought to himself, "Perhaps it is. Otherwise, why would Li Xuan, contrary to her usual behavior, bring him to such a high-end restaurant? Why bring a woman like this? Why didn't Li Xuan tell me beforehand?" He thought again, "How can I accept other women in my current state of mind? Xu Hui just passed away not long ago! Li Xuan, you're too hasty. You should have waited until I've calmed down before bringing this up!" He then remembered that he had originally planned to talk to Li Xuan about setting her up with someone tonight, but Li Xuan had beaten him to it. He found it amusing. Now that he understood the true meaning of this meal, he still wanted to take a few more glances at the girl and secretly consider his options. To be honest, his first impression of the girl was quite good. She was quiet and elegant, with a charming appearance and refined demeanor. Could he really be living with such a woman in the future? Thinking about it, his face flushed, and he lowered his head. Suddenly, he thought of Xu Hui, and his heart sank again. He thought to himself, "How could I possibly accept another woman now? It's impossible."

The food and drinks were served. Li Xuan opened the bottle and poured wine, while Jia Ruorui poured herself a drink. Li Xuan raised her glass and said, "Today, the three of us alumni have finally met. Let's toast to our shared school." Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui raised their glasses, clinked them together with Li Xuan, and drank a little. After putting down her glass, Li Xuan quickly served Jia Ruorui some food. Jia Ruorui blushed, smiled, thanked her, and then said she would do it herself. Li Xuan said, "Don't be so polite. You don't need to be polite in front of Ouyang Yiming. He's the vice president of his unit, but he'll always be my little brother." Jia Ruorui smiled, picked up a small piece of smoked fish, carefully put it in her mouth, and chewed it. Ouyang Yiming glanced at Li Xuan but didn't say anything.

Li Xuan ate her food while looking at Ouyang Yiming and said, "People say there's heaven above and Suzhou and Hangzhou below. Does that mean beautiful scenery or beautiful women?" Ouyang Yiming knew she was being sarcastic and smiled without saying anything. Jia Ruorui replied, "It means the scenery of those two places." Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but want to laugh. Li Xuan said, "It probably means beautiful women too. Otherwise, would our Ruorui be so beautiful? Right, Yiming?" Jia Ruorui then understood Li Xuan's true meaning and blushed. Ouyang Yiming blushed and chuckled twice without saying anything. Li Xuan smiled and continued, "Looking at Ruorui, I feel a little ashamed. Look at her figure, her face—how did she grow up like that?" Jia Ruorui shyly called out softly, "Sister Li." Li Xuan giggled and turned to look at Ouyang Yiming, saying, "Ruorui isn't very talkative. Is that how girls should be? I'm not very popular with boys." Ouyang Yiming looked at Li Xuan but didn't say anything. He thought to himself, "Li Xuan is clearly saying this to me." It felt a little strange. Li Xuan used to be very talkative, but not like tonight.

After the sweet and sour fish was served, Li Xuan picked up a piece and put it on Ouyang Yiming's plate. Ouyang Yiming then thought of the times Xu Hui had put fish on his plate before, and his heart sank. Li Xuan then urged Jia Ruorui to eat some fish, picking up a piece herself and putting it in her mouth. While eating, she asked Jia Ruorui, "Can you make sweet and sour fish?" Jia Ruorui replied, "My aunt likes it, and we often make it, but we're not very good at it." Li Xuan said, "Then you'll have to learn in the future. Buy a cookbook, and make it often." Jia Ruorui blushed and quietly tugged at Li Xuan under the table. Li Xuan smiled and said nothing more. These words made it very clear to Ouyang Yiming that Li Xuan had brought Jia Ruorui to dinner to introduce her to a potential partner. He secretly blamed Li Xuan for not giving him any hints beforehand.

During the meal, Jia Ruorui ate very reservedly, not saying much, mostly answering Li Xuan's questions. Ouyang Yiming could tell that this girl hadn't experienced much formality; her innocent, shy demeanor made him feel comfortable. Perhaps this was what a wife should be like!

After the meal, Ouyang Yiming drove Jia Ruorui to her aunt's house. When Ouyang Yiming returned to see Li Xuan off, he said, "Li Xuan, I know what you wanted to do with her tonight." Li Xuan smiled and said, "Even a fool would know." Ouyang Yiming sighed softly and said, "Li Xuan, you know how I feel right now. Xu Hui just left not long ago, how could I possibly accept another woman?" Li Xuan said, "Ouyang, I know, I understand your feelings right now. I've thought about it for many days. Sooner or later, you'll have to let go of Xu Hui and accept another woman. I think, perhaps sooner is better." Ouyang Yiming said, "But my feelings right now..." Xuan said, "I didn't tell you beforehand because I knew how you felt. I thought if I had told you earlier, you wouldn't have met her." She paused and continued, "Ouyang, don't blame me. I did it all for you. To be honest, I thought of Jia Ruorui as soon as I returned here after Xu Hui left. I felt this girl was very suitable for you. I didn't dare tell you before because I knew your heart was full of Xu Hui. But I'm getting more and more impatient. I sincerely hope you can get out of the shadow of losing Xu Hui as soon as possible. Tell me honestly, isn't Jia Ruorui a good match for you?" "Suitable?"

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "Li Xuan, thank you. I know you're doing this for me, but I'm afraid I'm not in the mood to date any woman right now. I can't say whether she's suitable or not. This girl is very quiet and pure." Li Xuan said, "I wouldn't introduce you to a girl who isn't suitable for you. I have a good relationship with her aunt. Her aunt has been single for many years; her husband passed away and she never remarried. She has a son who stayed in Beijing after graduating from university, so after Ruorui graduated, her aunt kept her here and treated Ruorui as her own." "My own daughter. Ruorui is quiet and has never had a boyfriend. Her aunt asked me to keep an eye out for Ruorui, saying she'd introduce her to someone suitable. But nothing's come of it. Don't be angry with me, but ever since Xu Hui passed away, I've felt like Jia Ruorui was intentionally left for you, your future wife. To be honest, you two are a good match. I noticed you two at dinner, and honestly, you really do look like a couple. It's true."

Ouyang Yiming was surprised. Could it be that this woman was truly waiting for him? Were Liu Yan and Xu Hui destined not to be his partners? He suddenly remembered the words the monk at Maoshan Temple had spoken—was everyone's life truly predetermined?

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and asked, "Have you told anyone about Xu Hui and me?" Li Xuan said, "Yes, I have. I told Ruorui and her aunt about your situation with Xu Hui in detail.

They didn't mind; in fact, they were moved by your feelings for Xu Hui. Her aunt said that a man who values relationships so much must be a good man. Ouyang, don't I know you? You're also the person I respect most, so I sincerely hope you have a good life." Ouyang Yiming was touched by Li Xuan's words and said, "Li Xuan, to be honest, I really consider you like a brother or sister. But now..." Li Xuan said, "Don't say anything more. Just let's see how things go. I haven't said you have to accept her yet. Maybe you just don't like her. Let's just be friends for now, okay?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I don't mean to look down on her. What do I have to offer? It's just that at this time..."

Li Xuan said, "If you can get back to your feelings soon, I think Xu Hui will be very happy." Ouyang Yiming remained silent.

Li Xuan's eagerness to introduce Jia Ruorui to Ouyang Yiming stemmed from her own reasons. She knew, of course, that Ouyang Yiming wasn't in the right mood for another woman, and had initially planned to introduce Jia Ruorui later. However, she felt she couldn't wait any longer. This was because, recently, with more and more one-on-one contact with Ouyang Yiming, she suddenly realized she seemed unable to live without him. She had never felt this way before. Although she had always respected Ouyang Yiming and had harbored feelings for him since their school days, she had never hoped for any special affection from him.

Lately, she felt her feelings had changed; she often thought about Ouyang Yiming, especially at night when she tried to sleep. Sometimes she felt an overwhelming urge to see him. Realizing this, she felt afraid. How could a woman like herself possibly develop feelings for Ouyang Yiming? Even without those sordid affairs with Yao Jianshe and the deputy district head, she was unworthy of Ouyang Yiming.

He wouldn't even look at her. Realizing her own feelings, she panicked. She knew that continuing this relationship would only bring her more pain and lead nowhere. Even being friends with Ouyang Yiming would be awkward. She didn't want to lose such a good friend as him; her university classmates were her emotional anchor, and losing them would cause her lifelong pain. Therefore, the decisive Li Xuan decided to introduce Jia Ruorui to Ouyang Yiming as soon as possible. That way, at least she wouldn't have to eat and talk alone with him so often, preventing her self-perceived, doomed relationship from continuing. While eating, watching Jia Ruorui and Ouyang Yiming, she felt the couple was quite well-matched, and a pang of pain shot through her heart. Some of her unconscious words made Ouyang Yiming feel uneasy.

Ouyang Yiming was silent for a moment before saying, "Li Xuan, you know my feelings for Xu Hui. I'm afraid I won't be able to accept anyone else, afraid my unconscious actions will cause misunderstandings, afraid of hurting her. Actually, I really don't know if I can transfer my feelings to another woman. If I can't, it wouldn't be fair to her." Li Xuan said,

"I understand. But Ouyang, you'll have to transfer your feelings eventually. You can't always keep your feelings on Xu Hui, who has passed away. You should know that very well. Let's spend some time together. I think after a while, you can transfer your feelings to Jia Ruorui."

Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm afraid it's impossible for me to pour out the same feelings as I did for Xu Hui. I think it's impossible for me in this lifetime." Thinking of Xu Hui made him feel sad. Li Xuan said, "You don't need to think so much now. Let's see how things develop. I gave her your office phone number. If she contacts you, you must accept the appointment, otherwise it will make things difficult for me too." Ouyang Yiming sighed and nodded. Li Xuan said, "You can call her number by dialing the district government's switchboard and transferring to the archives." Ouyang Yiming thought, "At least for now, I won't be contacting her."

After walking for a while, Ouyang Yiming remembered the matter of introducing a potential partner to Li Xuan, chuckled to himself, and said, "Li Xuan, actually, I wanted to talk to you about introducing you to a potential partner today, but I didn't expect you to bring it up first." Li Xuan said, "Really? What day is it today? The day the Old Man Under the Moon ties the red thread? Okay, tell me quickly, I'm in a hurry." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "This person is a researcher at our research institute, named Zhong Zhigang. He's very honest, but definitely not weak-willed, has a good temper, and is quite capable. He's not very tall, a little over 1.7 meters, and his appearance is also good. Isn't what you mean by finding someone honest and capable in scientific research? I think you two should be very suitable. If you could really live together, you would definitely be able to handle him."

Li Xuan said, "No matter how well you describe him, I still need to spend some time with him to see. Just like you need to spend some time with Jia Ruorui. " The same time. But I was still very moved when I heard you introduce it like this.

Ouyang Yiming said: "But you can't see him now. In a few months we will move to several laboratories first. I asked him to come here first." Li Xuan chuckled and said, "Hey Ouyang, aren't you trying to whet my appetite and make me feel itchy?" You know I have a very impatient temper. No, you take me to Panzhou tomorrow. I want to see that silly boy right away.

Ouyang Yiming chuckled and said, "No matter how impatient I am, I have to wait for him to come over. I don't want my sister to be in such a hurry to see that silly boy. I have to let that silly boy come to see my sister." Li Xuan smiled and said, "That makes sense. I still need to be more reserved at this time." Suddenly he raised his hand and slapped Ouyang Yiming and said, "I almost didn't react. What's your sister? I am your sister. This is a matter of principle and cannot be changed." "The two laughed.

Sea of Love (172)

Chapter 170

A few days later, Li Xuan called and asked if Jia Ruorui had contacted him on the phone. Ouyang Yiming said no. Li Xuan said, "You should contact her by phone. Men should take the initiative in these kinds of things. How could such an innocent girl, in her first relationship, be so shy as to ask you out first? I asked her, and Jia Ruorui is very satisfied with you." Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "Li Xuan, I want to wait a bit before talking to her about this. Right now, I'm really not in the mood." Li Xuan said, "Ouyang, are you not interested in her?"

Ouyang Yiming said, "It's not that, I'm just not in the mood." Li Xuan paused on the other end of the phone for a moment and said, "Okay then, but you absolutely can't refuse if she contacts you." Ouyang Yiming agreed. Unexpectedly, just one afternoon later, Jia Ruorui really did call and asked Ouyang Yiming out.

That night, after taking Li Xuan back to the research institute, Ouyang Yiming lay in bed, unable to sleep for most of the night. He thought about many things. First and foremost, he was certain that Jia Ruorui was a good girl in his first impression. She was very beautiful, just as Li Xuan had said, worthy of him. However, he was still unsure whether they had any "couple resemblance." He could tell she was a very well-educated and virtuous woman; a man who could marry such a woman would be very satisfied and would be the envy of many. But after seeing this undeniably beautiful girl, he only felt a brief stirring in his heart, without any significant ripples. It couldn't be compared to his feelings for Xu Hui, nor did it evoke the same emotions he felt when he first met Liu Yan. He thought that it would be impossible to experience the same emotional shock he felt upon meeting any other woman in his life as he did with Liu Yan. Perhaps only Liu Yan could move him so deeply.

Just as he had thought countless times, no matter how much he cared for Liu Yan or Xu Hui, both women still left him. Now, he was content to simply find a beautiful and well-educated woman to be his wife, no longer expecting any romantic love or heart-wrenching romance.

He hadn't expected Li Xuan to introduce him to Jia Ruorui so early, and now he was already dating a woman, or rather, just getting to know her before marriage. He still felt guilty towards Xu Hui. But since Li Xuan had introduced him to Jia Ruorui, and he felt he could accept such a girl as his future wife, how could he not get to know her? Now that Jia Ruorui had called him, he couldn't refuse. It took a lot of courage for a girl like that to call him, Ouyang Yiming thought. He suspected Li Xuan was behind this, and he was deeply moved by her good intentions.

After Ouyang Yiming picked her up at the location Jia Ruorui had indicated, Jia Ruorui said, "Let's just find a quiet little restaurant and have a simple meal. There's no need to waste money like that."

Ouyang Yiming knew about her previous visit to the fancy restaurant and thought to himself that if two people dating always went to places like that, it would seem like they were entertaining guests. So he asked, "Alright then, what would you like to eat?" Jia Ruorui said, "Anything is fine." Ouyang Yiming thought to himself, "Anything is fine, but that makes you even harder to please." But he didn't want to press her for what she actually wanted to eat, so he thought for a moment and said, "There's a nice fish restaurant on Shanghai Road, do you like fish?" Jia Ruorui said, "Anything is fine, as long as you like it." Ouyang Yiming thought to himself, "You're so easy to please, I don't want you to talk like that.

Inviting you to dinner and then saying 'whatever I like is fine,' it makes it seem like I'm the one eating out." But then he thought, this is the first time I've invited a girl to dinner alone, how can I let her say what she wants to eat! Fine, let's go eat fish, it's exactly what I like.

The fish restaurant was quite busy, almost full when they arrived. They found an empty table and sat down, Ouyang Yiming took the menu and let her order. Jia Ruorui said, "I don't know much about food either. Just order whatever you like. I'm not very hungry, so I'll just eat whatever's available." Ouyang Yiming glanced at her and didn't insist further. He knew she didn't drink alcohol, and he didn't want to either, so he ordered "Spring Water Fish," "Five-Flavor Tofu," and "Stir-fried Crab Roe," along with a bowl of seafood soup and two bowls of rice. During the meal, Jia Ruorui didn't speak, eating quietly and modestly. Ouyang Yiming also seemed to have nothing to say, only occasionally placing a few bites of food on her plate. After leaving the restaurant, Ouyang Yiming felt it wasn't appropriate to take her home so early, so he said, "Let's find somewhere to walk." Jia Ruorui nodded gently and hummed in agreement.

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment, realizing it was unnecessary to ask Jia Ruorui where they wanted to go, so he said, "Let's go to Xuanwu Lake. It's easy to park there." Jia Ruorui looked at him and nodded.

The park was open after 7 PM. Ouyang Yiming parked the car at the park entrance, and the two got out and walked into the park. They walked slowly for a while without exchanging a word. Ouyang Yiming, trying to make conversation, said, "Li Xuan is a very good friend of mine, and we get along very well with several other classmates." Jia Ruorui said, "I've heard Sister Li mention her." Ouyang Yiming then asked, "Li Xuan told you about me, right?" Jia Ruorui said, "Yes, I know your situation."

Ouyang Yiming said, "Xu Hui and I actually got our marriage certificate more than two years ago. We got it before she went abroad to study, but I never expected her to get sick on the eve of our wedding. In a sense, I'm a married person. Do you mind?" Jia Ruorui said, "If I mind, I wouldn't have met you. To be honest, I'm very moved by you two. Sister Li told me everything, and I just feel it's a pity for you two, and I'm also moved by your relationship." At this moment, Ouyang Yiming felt a little sad and said, "She's a very pure person, and I care about her a lot. We started dating in college. I respect her very much and cherish her very much."

Jia Ruorui said: “I know, Sister Li told me. She said she’s a very good person, and that you’re very good to her too. I’m three years behind you, so I didn’t know about your relationship at school. But I didn’t care about you and her. I think you’re a very sentimental person, and I admire that.” Ouyang Yiming said, “It’s good that you don’t care.” Jia Ruorui said, “No, I won’t care.”
Ouyang Yiming looked at the woman walking with her head down, then turned back and continued walking with his head down, thinking, “Actually, asking these questions is unnecessary. Li Xuan wouldn’t have kept these things from her. Just as she said, if she cared about these things, she wouldn’t have come to see me, let alone called to invite me out for dinner. It seems she and her aunt have seriously discussed these things about me.” But Ouyang Yiming still asked these questions unconsciously. He hadn’t thought about them before, but now that he had asked, he felt it was necessary to say them to her in person and hear her attitude to put his mind at ease.

After thinking about it, he realized there was no need to say anything more about this issue. She said she didn’t care about these things, but saying too much would make her uncomfortable. Since she knew about his relationship with Xu Hui and had clearly stated that she didn't care, there was no need to bring it up too much or frequently.

Jia Ruorui said, "Sister Li told you about my situation, right?" Ouyang Yiming said, "She told me a little." Jia Ruorui asked, "Did she also tell you about my family?" Ouyang Yiming said, "She didn't tell you much about that, only that your family is in Hangzhou." Jia Ruorui said, "My family is in Hangzhou. There's a sister and me. My older sister is four years older than me. She just got married last year. She's a factory worker. She didn't get into university after graduating from high school and went to work in an arts and crafts factory. My brother-in-law also works at that factory. They met on their own." Ouyang Yiming nodded, but in his heart he thought, "I didn't really want to know much about your sister." Jia Ruorui continued, "My father works at the Municipal Materials Bureau, and my mother works at the Municipal Long-Distance Bus Station." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "That's good."

He blushed as soon as he finished speaking, and for a moment he didn't even understand what he meant by saying "that's good." Subconsciously, it seemed like he thought his family's circumstances were a good match for hers! Perhaps they thought that her family background meant she had no pressure.

Jia Ruorui said, "I heard from Sister Li that your parents are both teachers." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, that's right. Just ordinary middle school teachers." Ouyang Yiming suddenly felt very relaxed. Jia Ruorui said, "I have the utmost respect for teachers. I can't explain why, but I'm a little intimidated by them, not in a timid way." She laughed and immediately added, "I can't really explain it, it's just that teachers seem very authoritative and respectable." Ouyang Yiming said, "My parents are both very kind." Jia Ruorui smiled and said, "I'm not talking about your parents, I feel that way about all teachers. It's just that deep down I always feel they are very respectable." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Usually only very naughty students in school are afraid of teachers, and I don't think you're like that." Jia Ruorui laughed twice and said... "Do I look like a naughty student?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "No, you definitely aren't." Jia Ruorui said, "From elementary school to university, I've always been recognized by my teachers as a good student." Ouyang Yiming said, "You can tell just by looking at me. But I've always respected my teachers; I've never felt intimidated."

Jia Ruorui said, "I don't know how to put it. It seems like 'intimidated' isn't the right word. Perhaps it's the awe that comes from respecting them." Ouyang Yiming said, "That's possible."

Jia Ruorui smiled and said, "I'm not sure either." Ouyang Yiming smiled back.

After walking a few steps in silence, Jia Ruorui said softly, "I've never been in a relationship." Ouyang Yiming looked at her, remembering that Li Xuan had told him the same thing, but he hadn't believed her at the time. Before he could think further, Jia Ruorui said, "I'm telling the truth. It might be related to my upbringing. My father is very strict; he strongly disapproved of students dating in school, especially in middle school. Do you know why I've always been so bothered by this? My older sister had a boyfriend in middle school when she was only sixteen. When my father found out, he beat her terribly. He said it was shameful for her to date in school, a disgrace to the elders. That experience deeply affected me; at that time, I thought dating was shameful. Later, although I grew up and realized it was normal..." "But even after I went to university, I still remembered my father's words and didn't dare to touch on such things at school. I don't know how many love letters I received in university, and some classmates even expressed their feelings to me in person, but I never accepted them. Do you believe me?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I believe you, how could I not?" Jia Ruorui said, "I lived at my aunt's house in university, and I talked to my aunt about these things. My aunt did say at that time that it was okay to consider it if I met someone suitable in university, but I just didn't accept anyone." Ouyang Yiming smiled, thinking to himself, "I still haven't met someone who makes my heart

flutter. If I encountered the kind of feelings that Liu Yan and I had, I think no man or woman could control themselves." As he thought this, he was surprised that he was thinking of Liu Yan at this moment. His heart trembled as he thought, "Should I tell Liu Yan about the feelings that have developed between us?"

After thinking for a moment, she thought to herself, "Forget it, forget it. Li Xuan doesn't know about my relationship with Liu Yan, and neither do my classmates. I'll just bury it deep in my heart forever. That relationship is long gone, and it makes me feel ashamed. No matter what, I was abandoned by Liu Yan's family, or rather, by Liu Yan herself. I will never have anything to do with Liu Yan again in this life. Although I will still think of her from time to time, I will never have any contact with her again. Her family thinks I am not good enough for them, and I will still have my pride and look down on them." Thinking to herself, a sadness welled up again: "How can I erase my feelings for Liu Yan from my heart? I still can't help but think of her often. I hope she is doing well." She laughed inwardly, but the laugh was also bitter: "Haha, how could she not be doing well? Living in two families that are so well-matched, two families that can make the world go round, what could she possibly have to worry about?!"

Jia Ruorui said, "My aunt also values your talent." She paused, then... "Me too," Jia Ruorui added. Ouyang Yiming said, "Sometimes, opportunities are necessary for a career. Li Xuan probably won't tell you these things. If my professor hadn't valued me and given me a research project when I was in school, and if our vice mayor in charge of scientific research hadn't valued me and brought me to this research institute after graduation, I might have been just another unknown graduate in another institution. Everyone has talent; as long as they are given a platform to develop, and of course, they also have to work hard, they will all achieve something." Jia Ruorui nodded and said, "Working in this kind of institution is very easy, but I probably won't achieve anything significant." Ouyang Yiming said, "I don't understand your major, but every field can have innovations and achievements, as long as you are willing to do it." Jia Ruorui nodded and said, "You're right."

At this moment, Ouyang Yiming thought of Xu Hui again. She was also a researcher with great ambition and could have achieved a lot, but he never expected her to leave so early.

Just as one of Xu Hui's superiors had told him on their way back from the cemetery, besides lamenting her short life, Xu Hui's passing was a great loss to their research institute. Xu Hui was a very talented researcher, and her work ethic was universally praised.

Thinking of Xu Hui, he felt sad again, and her image flashed before his eyes. Although the Xu Hui before him was smiling, Ouyang Yiming still felt a sense of dread. He thought to himself, "My heart is with Xu Hui, yet I'm strolling in this park with another girl. Xu Hui must be unhappy and miserable." At that moment, he felt a chill. He glanced at Jia Ruorui, wanting to suggest going back, but then thought it would be impolite for a man to ask to leave after only a short time in the park. He thought to himself, "Xu Hui, don't you want me to find a partner? Don't you want me to be with other women? Are you angry because you saw me with her?" A voice rang in his ears, clearly Xu Hui's voice: "I'm not angry. We're from two different worlds now. I want you to be happy. Don't always think about me. I'm very happy and joyful. Go pursue your happiness." At that moment, Ouyang Yiming felt Xu Hui's shadow drift away.

Ouyang Yiming was still somewhat afraid. He turned to look at Jia Ruorui and saw her walking with her head down, seemingly lost in thought. He was secretly startled by his momentary hallucination: "How could Xu Hui's shadow appear before my eyes at this moment?" He coughed to calm himself down and said, "I haven't been in a good mood lately. Xu Hui's sudden departure has been a huge blow to me. Please forgive me if I did anything inappropriate." Jia Ruorui was taken aback and said, "Oh, I know. You didn't do anything inappropriate." Ouyang Yiming secretly regretted blurting out those words and blushed. After thinking for a moment, she said, "Actually, I should have called you first. Li Xuan contacted you, right?" Jia Ruorui nodded and said, "Yes, she came to see me and told me about your current situation and feelings."

She paused and continued, "But, to be honest, I really did think that you didn't like me." Ouyang Yiming said, "No, how could that be? You're a good person." Jia Ruorui smiled and then said, "Actually, everyone can understand how you feel right now. After all, you've been in love for many years and even got a marriage certificate. In fact, just like you said, you're already husband and wife..." Ouyang Yiming blurted out, "Although we got a marriage certificate a few years ago, we've never been together." He blushed as soon as he finished speaking. He didn't know why he suddenly said such a thing. This was clearly a confession that he and Xu Hui had never been husband and wife!

This also stunned Jia Ruorui. Of course, she understood what Ouyang Yiming meant and was momentarily excited, but after a moment, she felt that Ouyang Yiming was lying. She thought to herself, "I haven't cared about anything you did, and I was already mentally prepared. You've been together for so long, and you've had your marriage certificate for so long. As you yourself said, you're already husband and wife. How could nothing have happened? Why tell these lies?" She said "Oh," and "Is that so?" Ouyang Yiming could tell from her tone that she clearly didn't believe him. He wondered, "Is it necessary to confess?" But he had already said it, and even if not for himself, he had to clear Xu Hui's name. So he said somewhat excitedly, "She's a very traditional and pure woman. She, she's very good..." Realizing he was getting a little too excited, he quickly stopped and added, "Oh, I don't want to talk about these things. Li Xuan knows her very well." Jia Ruorui looked at him with suspicion. She thought to herself, "No matter what happened between you two, I didn't care, but you saying this still makes me uncomfortable. Why did you have to say these things?!" She smiled but didn't say anything. But then he thought, "If it were really as you say, that would be perfect. I hope you are like that."

Ouyang Yiming still felt that bringing up this topic was somewhat inappropriate and secretly regretted it, so he wanted to change the subject. He said, "Li Xuan is my good friend. We were the closest of friends in college, and we've always been very concerned about her personal life. I've been looking for unmarried young men in our research institute to help her find a partner soon." Jia Ruorui said, "Yes, she's been quite close to my aunt, and my aunt has introduced her to a few people, but she said it wasn't a good match after just one meeting. I feel like her standards are very high." Ouyang Yiming said, "I know her personality. If she feels it's not a good match, she definitely won't want to meet anyone again. I hope she can find someone soon." Jia Ruorui said, "Sister Li is a very good person. My aunt and I admire her very much. Her work ability is undeniable." Ouyang Yiming nodded. Jia Ruorui said, "To be honest, my aunt and I always thought she had someone in her heart." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "My classmates and I all know that. She doesn't, absolutely not."

After chatting about other topics for a while, Jia Ruorui asked Ouyang Yiming about some things at work. Two hours passed in the blink of an eye. Jia Ruorui glanced at her watch and said, "Let's go home. My aunt will worry if we go back too late." Ouyang Yiming agreed.

After that, Ouyang Yiming often went out to eat and chat with Jia Ruorui, but no matter what, it was impossible for Ouyang Yiming to develop the same feelings for Jia Ruorui as he had for Xu Hui. However, he still had something to hold onto. Although the pain of losing Xu Hui still gnawed at his heart from time to time, it was much better than before he started dating Jia Ruorui.

Of course, Ouyang Yiming often thought about whether he could live with this woman for the rest of his life. It should be said that this woman was perfectly suited to be a virtuous wife in every way. As everyone who had advised him said, he couldn't always hold onto the memories of those who had passed away. He needed a woman to share his life with, to raise children with, and Jia Ruorui was perhaps the perfect choice! What could he possibly complain about? While he didn't have the same feelings for Liu Yan and Xu Hui, after getting to know her for a while, he had come to appreciate Jia Ruorui.

"Perhaps she is the one I'll spend my life with!" Ouyang Yiming sometimes murmured to himself.

After some of the labs moved to Jinling, Ouyang Yiming introduced Zhong Zhigang to Li Xuan. They were both quite satisfied after meeting and had been getting along well. It seemed things were progressing smoothly. Sometimes the two couples would get together for meals and chats.

Before the Spring Festival was over, Ouyang Mei called from school, saying she would return to Suzhou first during her holiday and planned to have Xu Hui's parents come to Panzhou to spend the New Year together. She said, "Actually, I really want to go back to Panzhou for the New Year too, since I haven't seen our elders for several months, especially Grandpa. But leaving Xu Hui's parents in Suzhou isn't ideal. If they're willing to go to Panzhou, it would be perfect. I just don't know if they're willing. If they really don't want to go, then I'll have to stay in Suzhou with them. I absolutely can't let them spend the first Spring Festival after Sister Hui leaves alone." She then asked Ouyang Yiming for his opinion. Ouyang Yiming said that it would be best if they could all go back to Panzhou for the New Year together, and that Ouyang Mei should talk to them first after she arrived in Suzhou during her holiday, telling them that she would definitely be going to Suzhou in a few days.

That day, when Jia Ruorui and Ouyang Yiming went out to eat, Jia Ruorui asked, "My mother called me yesterday, asking if you could come home with me before the New Year. My family wants to meet you." Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat for some reason. He said, "I don't have time lately. In a couple of days, our research institute is going to visit the elderly in a nursing home, accompanied by the TV station. I still have some work to do before the New Year, so let's talk about it later. I'm sorry." Jia Ruorui said, "It's okay. I told my mother on the phone yesterday that you're very busy. I'll go home in a couple of days, visit, and then come back. I'll spend the Spring Festival here this year. My cousin is in Beijing and won't be coming back. I can't let my aunt spend the New Year alone at home." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "That's true. How about this, I'll buy some things for you to take to your family tomorrow." Jia Ruorui said, "That's fine." She then asked, "When do you plan to go home?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I'll probably be busy until New Year's Eve, so let's talk about it then.

I'll try to go to your aunt's house in a couple of evenings. I'll bring the things I brought for your family too." Jia Ruorui nodded. Ouyang Yiming asked, "Are you going back to Hangzhou in a couple of days?"

Jia Ruorui replied, "We didn't have a holiday either. I just want to go see them and come back right away." Ouyang Yiming said, "How about this, if you want to come back the same day, I'll send a car. It's inconvenient to take a bus with some things."

Jia Ruorui asked, "Is that alright?" Ouyang Yiming said, "It's fine." Jia Ruorui nodded.

Ouyang Yiming put some food on Jia Ruorui's plate and said, "There's something I need to tell you. I'm going to Suzhou before the Spring Festival. You know Xu Hui's parents only had her as their daughter. Now that Xu Hui is gone, I want to visit them during the Spring Festival." Jia Ruorui said, "That's only right. No matter what, you and Xu Hui got married, so Xu Hui's parents are practically your parents too. I understand." Ouyang Yiming said, "Thank you." Jia Ruorui smiled and said, "What are you thanking me for? I understand. Actually, Xu Hui's parents are really pitiful. They lost their only daughter in their middle age."

Ouyang Yiming felt very sad upon hearing this. Controlling his emotions, he said, "My sister has recognized Xu Hui's parents as her godparents, which makes the two elderly people feel a little better.

No matter what, I will treat them as my own family for the rest of my life, and I promised Xu Hui before she passed away. I hope you can understand." Jia Ruorui said, "

That's only right. Don't worry, I will understand. Otherwise, wouldn't all those years of schooling have been for nothing?" Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but admire Jia Ruorui in his heart, and a few traces of gratitude also arose in his heart. Seeing that she didn't say anything, he thought to himself that he should be very satisfied and lucky to live with such a broad-minded and generous woman in this life.

Love and Desire (173)

Chapter 171

Three days before the Spring Festival, Ouyang Yiming bought some things and went to Suzhou. Ouyang Mei had already gone to Xu Hui's house for the holidays. When he saw Xu Zhenming and Yang Ping, Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but feel sad again, and the group shed tears again after saying very little. Then Ouyang Yiming brought up the idea of having Xu Zhenming and his wife spend the Spring Festival in Panzhou. Yang Ping said, "Meizi also told us, and your mother called the day before yesterday and mentioned it too. We were originally planning to go. Yesterday, your uncle called and said that his whole family is coming back here this year. Your father and I discussed it and decided to go to your family next year." Ouyang Yiming asked somewhat disbelievingly, "Your uncle really said that?" Xu Zhenming said, "It's true. He called yesterday and said that after spending the Spring Festival here, he'll go to Shanghai for a few days." Ouyang Mei said, "I also said I wanted to stay here, but my parents insisted that I go back." The parents Ouyang Mei referred to were Xu Zhenming and Yang Ping. Yang Ping said, "Good child, your family misses you too. You've been here with us for so long, coming back every Sunday. Why not stay a few more days? Go back with your brother." Ouyang Yiming said, "Mom and Dad, Meizi and I are both your children. You can't lie to us. If Uncle really didn't say anything, we can't leave you two here for the New Year." Yang Ping quickly said, "Yiming, it's true. You can call your uncle if you don't believe me." Xu Zhenming then confirmed it was true. Ouyang Yiming nodded.

After exchanging pleasantries, Yang Ping said, "Yiming, you're very busy with work, and we can't see each other often. There's something I've always wanted to talk to you about in person." Ouyang Yiming said, "Mom, go ahead." Yang Ping said, "Yiming, when Xu Hui was alive, we treated you like a son, and even after Xu Hui passed away, we still treat you like a son—that's the truth. Now we have Meizi as our daughter. Since you and Meizi are both our children, we need to tell you this: if you truly consider us your elders, you must listen to us."

Ouyang Yiming somewhat understood what Yang Ping wanted to say, and he immediately thought of Jia Ruorui. Seeing that Yang Ping remained silent, Ouyang Mei said, "Mom, just say what you want to say." Yang Ping said:

“Yiming, we know your feelings for Xu Hui, but we really hope you can find us a daughter-in-law as soon as possible. Xu Hui is gone, but we, the living, must continue living. Your father and I have come to terms with it, and you should too. Although we have lost Xu Hui, we still have you and Meizi, our children, and we are content. As your biological parents, we feel the same way and hope you can accept it. It's time to find someone; you're not young anymore, and we don't want you to continue like this.”

Ouyang Yiming suddenly felt a pang of shame and had an urge to tell them about Jia Ruorui. After thinking it over, he didn't say it. He thought to himself that although Yang Ping said those things to him, and he knew she meant them sincerely, he was still worried that telling them about Jia Ruorui would hurt Xu Zhenming and Yang Ping. He also felt guilty for having a relationship with Jia Ruorui so soon after Xu Hui's death, and felt uneasy. He remained silent. Xu Zhenming said, "Yiming, your mother is right. Don't have any worries now. If you can really find a satisfactory girl, your mother and I will only be happy, and we will never have any other thoughts. Do you think your mother and I don't understand these things?"

At this moment, Ouyang Yiming had the urge to talk to them about Jia Ruorui again. He moved his lips but said, "Thank you, Mom and Dad, I will consider it." He paused and then said, "Mom and Dad, no matter what happens in the future, you two will always be my family, my parents." Yang Ping said, "That's good, we can rest assured. We just hope you can find a good girl as soon as possible. You and Meizi will always be our children."

After lunch, Ouyang Yiming and Ouyang Mei left the Xu family. They both shed tears as they parted... After leaving the city, Ouyang Yiming drove to Phoenix Mountain Cemetery. As soon as they entered the cemetery, Ouyang Mei started to cry, and Ouyang Yiming's eyes were also filled with tears, his heart filled with sorrow. Thinking about Jia Ruorui, he silently asked himself, "Xu Hui, do you know about Jia Ruorui? Can you tolerate my relationship with her right now? Do you agree to me being with her?" He felt

uneasy and guilty for doing something to betray Xu Hui.

When Ouyang Mei arrived at Xu Hui's grave, she burst into tears, saying, "Sister, I miss you, I miss you so much!" After sobbing for a while, she continued, "Sister, don't worry, we will take good care of Dad and Mom. We will take care of them for the rest of our lives and see them off in their old age. Sister, don't worry about anything, my brother and I are here, you don't need to worry about anything..." Ouyang Yiming also had tears streaming down his face, looking at Xu Hui's smiling photo on the tombstone, yet unable to meet Xu Hui's gaze in the photo. The two siblings knelt down in front of Xu Hui's grave, arranged the offerings, and lit incense. Ouyang Mei cried uncontrollably. Ouyang Yiming wept silently, murmuring in his heart, "Xu Hui, are you doing well here? Are you happy here? Do you miss me? I miss you very much too, but I can't come to see you often. You must take care of yourself..."

The two siblings cried for a while. Ouyang Mei stopped crying. Ouyang Yiming then thought of his current situation with Jia Ruorui, and after a moment's thought, he said to Ouyang Mei, "Meizi, I want to talk to your sister alone." Ouyang Mei looked up at him, then silently stood up and went to Xu Hui's grandmother's grave.

Ouyang Yiming stared directly at Xu Hui's photo and said, "Xu Hui, I need to tell you something. Li Xuan introduced me to a girl, and she's very nice. I told her everything about us, and I also told her about my trip to Suzhou to see you and my parents. She's very open-minded and supports my visit. Are you willing to let me be with her? Xu Hui, I will never forget you in my life. I will come to see you every year, and no one can stop me from coming. Xu Hui, you won't blame me for being with that girl, will you? If you don't want me to be with her, I will break up with her. Please don't be angry." Seeing that Xu Hui was still smiling at him, he said, "Xu Hui, you are willing too, right? Li Xuan is doing this for my own good, and my parents have also told me about it. I didn't intend to accept another girl so quickly, but I still feel sorry for you. Xu Hui, I couldn't come to see you today without telling you. Only after telling you will I feel more at ease..." After saying this for a while, he still felt uneasy. He bowed three times to Xu Hui and then went to Xu Hui's grandmother's grave, turning back every few steps.

After descending the mountain and onto the road, the brother and sister remained silent for a while. Ouyang Yiming pondered his relationship with Jia Ruorui, and after a moment, he said to Ouyang Mei, "Meizi, Li Xuan introduced me to a girl."

Ouyang Mei exclaimed in surprise, staring at Ouyang Yiming, "Really? From where?" Ouyang Yiming then told Ouyang Mei about Jia Ruorui. After listening, Ouyang Mei thought for a moment and said, "That's good, you'll have to find someone sooner or later." Ouyang Yiming said, "I always feel guilty towards Xu Hui, she's only been gone for a few months." Ouyang Mei said, "It's not that you deliberately found someone so early. Even if you did, Sister Hui wouldn't blame you, after all, you're from two different worlds now. If you meet someone suitable and don't hold on, you might miss out later. After hearing your introduction of this person, I also feel that you two are quite suitable." She paused and sighed heavily, saying, "Sister Hui really had a hard life, and you two really weren't destined to be husband and wife. I've always treated her as a sister and sister-in-law, and I never thought that anyone else could replace her, and now..." She said, tears streaming down her face. After a while, she asked, "Can I see her?" Ouyang Yiming said, "We don't get a holiday until the day after tomorrow. You'll have to stay in Jinling tomorrow. I'll arrange for you to have dinner with her tomorrow night." Ouyang Mei nodded and agreed.

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "Meizi, I think we shouldn't tell our families about this yet. I'm still undecided about whether we can settle down. Anyway, it will take some time before we get married. She asked me to go to Hangzhou a few days ago, but I declined. However, her aunt lives in Nanjing, and I can't not go for the New Year. I took some things to her aunt's house the day before yesterday." Ouyang Mei said, "Actually, if you're both satisfied, I don't think there's anything wrong with settling down. You've gotten to know her well after these few months. Telling your families won't hurt. Letting them know will put their minds at ease; otherwise, they'll all worry about you. What's there to be afraid of with your own family?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm just worried that if things don't work out, my family will be worried again. Look at me, I dated Liu Yan for over a year without any results. And Xu Hui and I were almost married..." "She left again. Sigh, I'm really scared now." Ouyang Mei said, "It can't always be like this. If you two feel it's right, why not just set a date for your wedding next year? Thinking about your two previous relationships, they were really upsetting. The sooner you settle down, the sooner you'll have peace of mind. You're not young anymore." Ouyang Yiming said, "Sometimes I think that way too. I'll just find someone suitable to marry. I don't want to think too much now. I just want to live a peaceful life." Ouyang Mei said, "But you have to choose the right person." Ouyang Yiming said, "Jia Ruorui is indeed a good person. You'll know once you meet her."

The next evening, Jia Ruorui was invited out to dinner by Ouyang Yiming. When Ouyang Mei saw Jia Ruorui, she thought to herself that such a beautiful and elegant woman was a perfect match for her brother. During the meal, she could see the woman's inner purity and gentleness from her words and expressions, so she was naturally very satisfied. After taking Jia Ruorui home after dinner, Ouyang Mei said to Ouyang Yiming, "Brother, I think she's perfect for you. You two would definitely be a good match, and I think you'd be happy."

In October, the military implemented a new rank system, and Liu Yan was awarded the rank of Major, a deputy battalion commander. Wearing a crisp military uniform with two bars and a star on her shoulders, she looked even more dashing.

Before winter break, Tan Qihao mentioned wanting Liu Yan to go to Xi'an again, saying his family had called and wanted to meet her. For some reason, Liu Yan felt a bit resentful upon hearing this. Why did her family insist on meeting her? Did they mean they weren't sure if she was suitable and wanted their family to decide for her? Were their opinions really that important to her? Feeling a bit resentful, Liu Yan said, "My workplace is very busy before the New Year, and besides, I can't just leave my parents behind to go to your house for the holiday, can I?" Tan Qihao said, "Didn't you say your brother and sister-in-law are coming back for the New Year?"

Liu Yan was speechless for a moment, then looked at him and said, "My brother and sister-in-law and I haven't seen each other for a long time. It's a rare opportunity for the whole family to get together for a few days, and I can't miss it. I don't know when the whole family will be able to get together again." Although Tan Qihao thought Liu Yan's words made sense, he also understood that Liu Yan didn't want to go to his house, and he couldn't help but feel a little angry. After a moment of silence, Liu Yan felt a pang of guilt and said, "Maybe when there's a chance, I'll definitely go." Tan Qihao looked up at her and asked, "Liu Yan, we've been wanting to get to know each other for a long time. To be honest, are you dissatisfied with me?"

Liu Yan was startled and blushed slightly, saying, "I can't say whether I'm satisfied or not right now. It's not the right time for us to commit, is it?" Tan Qihao said, "I always feel like you're not entirely satisfied with me." Liu Yan looked at him and said, "So you mean we should commit now? And to be honest, divorced women are more cautious." "Yes. I don't know you very well yet, so I can't tell you my feelings right now. If you have any thoughts, just say them. If you really feel that I'm not suitable for you, just say so, and we can still be friends." Tan Qihao blushed and said, "When did I feel that we weren't suitable? Liu Yan, to be honest, I really care about you and like you a lot. I said I could treat Ru Han like my own father, and I definitely will. You should understand me by now."

Seeing his expression, Liu Yan felt guilty and said, "I didn't mean anything by it. To be honest, I also think you're a good person. But you have to understand me, I..." "Our family only gets together once every few years, and I don't want to miss this opportunity, do I? How about this, I'll go with you during summer vacation, no matter how hot it is, okay?" Tan Qihao looked at her and nodded, saying, "Okay, actually I should understand you. It's rare for the whole family to get together, and I shouldn't ask you to do this. I'm sorry."

Liu Yan looked at Tan Qihao with guilt and said, "Don't say that, you haven't done anything wrong to me." She paused and said, "Actually, I also really dislike family interference.

I've never told you these things. My marriage with Zhang Lei ended in divorce because of family interference." To be honest, I don't want my family to be involved in my remarriage decisions. You might not understand, but I've been there and it makes me very averse to it. That's why I haven't let my parents meet you yet; I don't want them involved in my marriage. I was determined after my divorce that I wouldn't let my family have any say in my remarriage. Living together is a matter for two people; as long as both are happy, there's no need to ask anyone else's opinion. You and I are different. You didn't experience a failed marriage; you experienced an unhappy one. So, it's understandable that you want your family involved, but I'm not willing to. —Tan Qihao said.

"Now I understand your thoughts. What you said makes perfect sense to me. I always thought you were avoiding going to my home. You didn't let me meet your parents, and I never understood why. Now I understand.

Liu Yan, you should have said it sooner. How could I not understand? Fine, since you don't want to meet my family, I'll cover it up in front of them. Don't worry, I won't make things difficult for you." Liu Yan's eyes reddened slightly, and she thought about her relationship with Ouyang Yiming. If it weren't for her mother, how could she have ended up like this? She said, "Thank you for your understanding, but I definitely still want to meet your family. Maybe sometime. Or maybe this summer." Tan Qihao said, "Forget it, if you don't want to meet them, you don't have to. It's not like you're living with them. Marriage is our own business." Liu Yan said, "I'll buy you some things to take back to your parents. Talk to them nicely, don't make them angry." Tan Qihao said, "I know what to say."

After Liu Yan and Tan Qihao bought some groceries at the store, Liu Yan said, "I won't see you off the day after tomorrow." Tan Qihao said, "No need. My train is at four in the morning, and I don't want to make you get up so early." Liu Yan said, "Be careful on the road." Tan Qihao said, "I know, it'll be fine." Liu Yan looked at him without saying anything. After walking a few steps, Tan Qihao opened his mouth several times and said, "Liu Yan, there's something I want to talk about. Don't be angry, this is just my personal opinion. I think... I think if you don't have any objections to me and can accept me, how about we get married next year?" Liu

Yan trembled at the word "marriage" and felt flustered. She composed herself and said, "Let's talk about this later. I can't give you an immediate answer right now. If... if it's possible, I can consider it next year." Tan Qihao looked at her and asked, "Liu Yan, there's another question I still want to ask you. Do you still have any concerns about me?" Liu Yan sighed and said, "To be honest, I get anxious just hearing the word 'marriage' now. It's probably because my last marriage scared me too much. I'm afraid of marriage, afraid of divorce.

I just want to know you better to feel at ease." Tan Qihao nodded, looking down and saying, "I understand, I understand." He looked up at Liu Yan and said, "Let's talk about marriage when you completely trust me and accept me. I'll always wait for you." Liu Yan looked at him, tears streaming down her face, and said, "I'll definitely decide next year. I know you're not young anymore.

Next year, next year." That night, back home, Liu Yan lay in bed thinking, "Tan Qihao is a pretty good person overall. He likes me, he cares about me, and he's said more than once that he'll treat Ruhan like his own child. He's good-looking, and he's honest and kind. He's a well-educated professor from a prestigious university. How could he not be good enough for you, Liu Yan? You're a divorced woman with a child; a woman with little education; an ordinary woman, what kind of man do you expect to find? Tan Qihao can be good to you and your child, and you can live a happy life with him. Even if you're picky, what kind of man can you find? What kind of man can you wait for? You like Ouyang Yiming, but Ouyang Yiming already has a happy family..." He wouldn't want a woman like you, who practically dumped him, leaving his beautiful wife behind, back by your side, would he? Yes, you have his child with you, but so what?

Ouyang Yiming doesn't know you had his child, and it's not his idea! You want to live with him, you want Ruhan to live with his biological parents, but those are all wishful thinking, impossible now. What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for?! Next year, find a suitable time and give Tan Qihao a clear answer, agree to marry him. Don't keep him waiting for your answer.

Ruhan isn't young anymore, and neither is he. Just marry him, don't hesitate anymore, what's there to hesitate about… "Marriage! Are you really going to marry him? Are you really going to spend your life with him? Once you take this step, there's no going back! Liu Yan, are you really sure?" At this moment, Liu Yan felt a sudden, inexplicable panic and fear.

A few days later, Jin Ling called, and the two discussed the issue again. Liu Yan said she didn't want to be picky anymore; Tan Qihao was still a good person, and she planned to accept him. Jin Ling asked, "Are you really sure about everything?" Liu Yan said, "This person is indeed good. What kind of person can I find if I look for someone else? Maybe the more I look, the worse they'll be. Although I can't find the feeling I'm hoping for in Tan Qihao, he is indeed a good person. What else is there to think about when two people are living together? As long as he's good to me and good to Ru Han, that's enough." Jin Ling didn't speak for a while. After Liu Yan said "hello" a few times, Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, you've changed so much. I feel like I don't even recognize you anymore. I always feel you're a bit too depressed.

However, I really can't understand your current situation, and I can't give you advice. Since you feel this person is good, I believe you must have thought about it many times in your heart, but you must be careful." Liu Yan suddenly felt a pang of sadness, and tears streamed down her face. She said, "Jin Ling, I really have no one to help me make a decision." "Jinling, I really wish someone could give me some advice. Jinling, I still can't let go of Ouyang Yiming, I just can't let go of him."

Jinling felt a little nervous when she heard Liu Yan suddenly sob. Hearing Liu Yan's words, she felt sad. She knew in her heart that Liu Yan still loved Ouyang Yiming the most. She also knew that no matter how much Liu Yan loved Ouyang Yiming, it was useless. Hearing Liu Yan's words, she didn't know how to comfort her, so she said, "Liu Yan, think about it more. You know very well that not being able to let go of Ouyang Yiming is useless. If Tan Qihao is really good, then... then marry him. As long as you're sure about him." Liu Yan stopped crying and said, "He is indeed a very good person, but the thought of getting married again, and marrying someone I don't have much feeling for, scares me. I'm really scared."

Jinling said, "Then continue to get to know him for a while longer. It's not too late to marry him when you feel you can accept him. Sigh, I really don't know what to say to you now, or how to advise you." "If it were closer, I'd really like to visit you and see that person, but you know how nurses are, we never have the time!" She paused, then added, "Hey, when do you have time to come to Hangzhou? Come visit, relax a bit." Liu Yan thought for a moment and said, "Let's talk about it when it gets warmer. I really want to take Ru Han out for a trip too." Jin Ling said, "Really? You absolutely have to come! We can have a good talk then." Liu Yan said, "Let's talk about it then. It's hard to say whether I'll have time then." "

Love and Desire (174)

Chapter 172

During the Spring Festival, Ouyang Mei told her family about Jia Ruorui. Ouyang Anping and Mao Yuqin were very satisfied and happy that Ouyang Yiming was able to recover so quickly. However, they were still worried that Xu Hui's parents would have some thoughts if they found out. So they told Ouyang Yiming that since his relationship with Jia Ruorui was not yet confirmed, there was no need to tell Xu Hui's parents. Although Xu Hui's parents had also advised Ouyang Yiming to find a fiancée as soon as possible, they would definitely have some thoughts if they knew that he had found a girl so quickly. Marriage would definitely not be too fast, so they should keep it from them for now.

Not long after returning to work after the Spring Festival, Li Xuan bought a three-bedroom apartment for Ouyang Yiming from the developer near Taipingmen. The price was one-third cheaper than the price that the developer publicly offered. Later, the construction company that built the research institute building found out about this. The project manager approached Ouyang Yiming and offered to renovate the house. Ouyang Yiming thanked them and said, "My private purchase of the house will not have any connection with the research institute. Your renovation will cause some unnecessary misunderstandings among the research institute's employees." "A few days later, Ouyang Yiming commissioned Li Xuan to find a construction team to renovate the apartment.

During this time, Jia Ruorui would occasionally come to check on the renovation and offer her opinions. Two months later, the renovation was completed, and Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui purchased some basic furniture and installed a telephone.

After that, Ouyang Yiming would sometimes rest here."

Jia Ruorui had visited Ouyang Yiming's workplace several times. Initially, no one questioned her when she came with Li Xuan, but after she came alone a few times, people started asking Ouyang Yiming. He didn't deny it, and everyone thought the beautiful girl and Ouyang Yiming were a perfect match. However, some people whispered behind her back, saying that Ouyang Yiming accepted another girl so quickly after losing Xu Hui, wondering if he had truly loved Xu Hui in the first place. Ouyang Yiming also thought about these things, and felt a little embarrassed every time Jia Ruorui came to the research institute. He wanted to tell her not to come anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Fortunately, Jia Ruorui didn't come to the research institute very often. Ouyang

Yiming and Jia Ruorui also dated frequently. For Jia Ruorui, although Ouyang Yiming didn't have the same feelings for her as he did for Liu Yan and Xu Hui for a while, as time went on, this girl had left an imprint on Ouyang Yiming's heart. This girl possessed many of the virtues of both Xu Hui and Liu Yan, while also having her own unique personality. Her tolerance and understanding were what Ouyang Yiming admired most; he couldn't deny that he was growing increasingly fond of her.

Jia Ruorui had essentially given her heart to Ouyang Yiming. For this woman who took love very seriously, Ouyang Yiming was the love of her life, her life partner.

On the eve of Qingming Festival, Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui had dinner together and then strolled in Xuanwu Lake Park. Jia Ruorui naturally took Ouyang Yiming's arm as they walked, something she often did before. Ouyang Yiming said, "Ruorui, Qingming is coming soon, and I want to go to Suzhou to pay respects at Xu Hui's grave." Jia Ruorui said, "Go ahead."

Ouyang Yiming knew in his heart that Jia Ruorui wouldn't mind, and it was precisely this tolerance and generosity that he admired most. Jia Ruorui looked up at him and asked, "Why don't I go with you?" Ouyang Yiming was startled, looked at her and said, "No need, I'll go by myself." Jia Ruorui nodded and said, "Don't be too sad when you get there, be careful on the way."

Ouyang Yiming nodded, feeling a sense of gratitude. After a moment, he asked, "Ruorui, don't you really mind if I go to see Xu Hui?" Jia Ruorui replied, "To be honest, I've always been moved by your feelings for her, and I admire your ability to treat a deceased woman this way. I'm not uncultured; how could I not understand this?! How could I care if you miss someone you once deeply loved and who has passed away?

You underestimate me. If you were willing to let me go with you, I really would. But I also know you don't want me to go; you want to preserve your unique feelings and don't want me to participate." Hearing this, Ouyang Yiming admired Jia Ruorui even more, his eyes welling up with tears as he said, "Ruorui, thank you." Jia Ruorui blushed and said, "I think anyone would feel the same way." Ouyang Yiming then thought, "If Xu Hui and Jia Ruorui were in different positions, would Xu Hui act like Jia Ruorui?" Thinking this, he pulled away from Jia Ruorui's arms and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. Jia Ruorui rested her head on Ouyang Yiming's shoulder, and the two walked slowly. Jia Ruorui said, "I heard from Sister Li that she's really beautiful."

Hearing this, Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat, and his grip on her waist loosened slightly. He said, "Yes, she's very beautiful." Jia Ruorui continued, "Sister Li has talked about your relationship with me more than once. She said that when you were in school, everyone said you were the most compatible couple. Sometimes Sister Li would shed tears while talking about it, and I could tell that Sister Li's feelings for her were very deep." Ouyang Yiming said, "All our classmates like her and respect her. She's the kind of girl who commands respect; she's kind-hearted and always willing to help others.

She's wonderful, truly wonderful." Jia Ruorui nodded. Ouyang Yiming said, "To be honest, we've been classmates for years, and although our classmates have been gossiping about us dating, we've never made our relationship public. We both knew the other liked us, but we never went on dates until our senior year when we went public with our relationship. Li Xuan probably knows all this. Frankly, I've never considered her just my fiancée, even after we got married..." Even after the marriage certificate, it was the same. I had many feelings for her, as if I had always considered her as my own family. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but deep down, I have a feeling that she is my family, that she has always been my family. This feeling is very special, and sometimes I can't explain it. It's a combination of sibling affection and romantic love, but it seems to be more of that deep familial affection. You might not understand, and others might not understand, but that's really how it is. During my university years, although I knew I had romantic feelings for her, most of what I felt was that indescribable familial affection. I just felt that she was my family, my relatives. My feelings for Xu Hui are really special, very special..."

Jia Ruorui listened quietly, feeling strange. She couldn't understand Ouyang Yiming's complex feelings for Xu Hui, and she felt confused. But when she was with Ouyang Yiming, she didn't feel like he was her own family, there was absolutely no sibling affection. All she felt was the burning passion of a romantic relationship. Jia Ruorui asked, "Then, when you're with me, do you feel that kind of familial affection?" Ouyang Yiming said, "To be honest, it's not like the familial affection I feel for her." Jia Ruorui asked, "Is it just a simple romantic feeling?"

Ouyang Yiming nodded and hummed in agreement, but in his heart, he was thinking that even his romantic feelings for Jia Ruorui were not as strong as his feelings for Xu Hui. It seemed like he liked her, but only liked her without any strong love. Suddenly, he thought of Liu Yan, and his heart skipped a beat. He thought, even his feelings for Xu Hui didn't have the same heart-stirring love he felt for Liu Yan. Only Liu Yan made him experience that captivating feeling of a lover. After thinking for a while, he said to himself, perhaps his feelings for Liu Yan were his first love, the first time a man experienced feelings for a woman, a lover, feelings different from those he met with women later. At that moment, Liu Yan's image was exceptionally clear before his eyes, and he saw Liu Yan smiling at him. Suddenly, a chill ran through him. He glanced at Jia Ruorui nestled beside him, feeling it was unfair to think of Liu Yan like this. Now that Liu Yan and Xu Hui had both left him, and he was in a relationship with this woman, he shouldn't be thinking about his exes while he was with her. So he hugged Jia Ruorui tightly.

Jia Ruorui felt Ouyang Yiming's embrace, turned to look at him, and asked, "Still thinking about her?" Ouyang Yiming knew she was referring to Xu Hui, and his face flushed slightly as he said,

"Oh, no." Jia Ruorui smiled but remained silent. For a moment, Ouyang Yiming didn't know what to say. After walking a few steps, Jia Ruorui said, "My sister's due date is in mid-May. I'd like to go back to visit her when she gives birth. Would you like to come with me? My family would also like to meet you." Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "Sure, we can go together." Jia Ruorui asked, "Did your family say they wanted to meet me?" Ouyang Yiming said, "They did. Maybe when we have the chance. I'll take you when I go back to Panzhou." Jia Ruorui nodded and asked, "I heard from Sister Li that your family has a rather large old house." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes." Jia Ruorui said, "I really want to see it." Ouyang Yiming said, "There will be a chance, haha, there will be plenty of opportunities in the future." Jia Ruorui understood what Ouyang Yiming meant, and her face turned red.

The moonlight was dim, and in the shadows not far from a dim streetlamp, there was a cement bench. Jia Ruorui glanced at it and said, "Let's sit for a while." Ouyang Yiming said, "Okay." The two walked over.

Jia Ruorui took out a tissue from her bag and wiped herself. The two sat down close together, and Ouyang Yiming reached out and hugged her again. Their heads rested together, and Ouyang Yiming smelled the womanly fragrance emanating from Jia Ruorui's hair, causing his heart to race. For a moment, they were silent. As Ouyang Yiming held her tightly, his emotions surged, and he took Jia Ruorui's hand in his. Jia Ruorui hesitated for a moment, then firmly grasped Ouyang Yiming's hand. Ouyang Yiming seemed to feel her pounding heartbeat. Their faces slowly pressed together. At that moment, a long-dormant impulse welled up in Ouyang Yiming's heart. He moved, releasing Jia Ruorui's hand and placing it on her head, slowly turning her head to gaze into his eyes. Finally, Ouyang Yiming's lips touched Jia Ruorui's tightly closed lips.

Jia Ruorui was stunned for a moment, then shook her head and said somewhat flusteredly, "No, no..." Ouyang Yiming looked up at her. The two of them looked at each other for a moment, panting heavily, before Ouyang Yiming's mouth was pressed against Jia Ruorui's tightly closed lips again. This time, Jia Ruorui did not struggle, but she kept her lips tightly closed to prevent Ouyang Yiming's tongue from penetrating deeper. After a while, she seemed unable to resist the temptation and slightly loosened her lips. Ouyang Yiming's tongue entered smoothly, and soon, their two hot tongues were intertwined... For a long, long time, their mouths were unwilling to separate, only their breaths mingling from their nostrils... They finally separated. Jia Ruorui sat up straight, ran her hands through her hair, lowered her head, and after panting for a while, whispered, "This is my first time." Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat. He thought to himself that based on her actions just now, he knew it was her first kiss. He felt a surge of excitement, reached out and picked her up, placing her on his lap. Jia Ruorui struggled for a moment, then stopped moving, clinging tightly to Ouyang Yiming and nestling in his arms. After a moment of silence, their lips met again… A few days later, Ouyang Yiming went to Suzhou. Upon entering the city, he bought two bouquets of flowers and some offerings, then went directly to Phoenix Mountain Cemetery. He stood before Xu Hui's tombstone, weeping and choking for a long time. Looking at the photo on Xu Hui's tombstone, he said, “Xu Hui, I need to tell you, I have accepted Jia Ruorui, accepted her as my wife, accepted her into the Ouyang family, accepted her taking your place. Xu Hui, I didn't want to accept another woman so soon, but my heart is just too tired. I want a stable life, I want to live peacefully, I don't want my elders and friends to worry about me anymore. I want to do my research and work in peace. Can you understand me? Can you understand?” "I understand you, Xu Hui. No matter what, you will always be my family, my wife in my heart, and you will always be in my heart. Jia Ruorui is a good woman. I told her everything about us, and she respects you very much. She didn't hold anything against us. I will live my life like this, living an ordinary life like everyone else, no longer praying for any passionate love, no longer craving those illusory things. Two people who love each other

cannot live together, and no one will pity the true feelings between men and women. You must take good care of yourself over there. I am at ease with you being with Grandma, and the family is at ease..."

He murmured for a long time before getting up and leaving with tears in his eyes. Then he went to Xu Hui's grandmother's grave, offered incense, and said some words of advice to her and Xu Hui to take care of themselves. He then went down the mountain to Xu Hui's house.

After lunch, Xu Zhenming and Yang Ping talked again about Ouyang Yiming finding a girl as soon as possible. Ouyang Yiming blushed slightly, then thought for a moment and said, "Mom and Dad, Li Xuan... Li Xuan introduced me to someone." Yang Ping was still surprised, and her expression became somewhat unnatural. She said, "Really? That's great. Li Xuan is your and Xu Hui's classmate, right?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, she's our classmate. We're all very close." Xu Zhenming said, "That's good. Otherwise, we wouldn't feel comfortable with you." Yang Ping quickly calmed herself down and said,

"Yiming, your dad and I have been talking about you all the time, trying to find you someone. Now that Li Xuan has introduced you, it saves your dad and me the trouble. What do you think of the girl?" Ouyang Yiming said, "She's pretty good. She graduated from the same school as Xu Hui and me, three years after us." Yang Ping asked, "Is she pretty?" Ouyang Yiming blushed and said, "She's alright." Yang Ping

said, "When are you going to bring her so your dad and I can meet her?" Ouyang Yiming said, "She originally said she would come, but I didn't let her. I... I was afraid Xu Hui would be angry." Yang Ping's eyes glistened with tears as she said... "Silly child, your relationship with Xu Hui is over. Now you are our son, and your father and I only hope you live a good life. Xu Hui isn't unhappy either. You two were destined to be apart in this life; if you are, perhaps in the next. We see your feelings for Xu Hui, and Xu Hui sees them too. She won't be unhappy; she'll only wish you well.

If that girl doesn't mind coming to our house, let her come with you. Treat us as your parents, and you two will be our son and daughter-in-law." Ouyang Yiming nodded tearfully.

After Ouyang Yiming bid farewell to Xu Zhenming and his wife and returned to Jinling, Yang Ping went back to her room and couldn't help but sob for a long time... On the night of May 12th, Jia Ruorui's sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy weighing seven pounds and eight ounces. The next morning, Jia Ruorui's mother called to tell Jia Ruorui the good news. After hanging up, Jia Ruorui excitedly called Ouyang Yiming. It just so happened that tomorrow was Sunday, and the two agreed over the phone to buy some things in the afternoon before heading to Hangzhou.

Near the end of the workday, Ouyang Yiming told his assistant he was going to Hangzhou that afternoon, gave some work instructions, and said he would be back the following afternoon. After lunch and a short rest, he drove to Jia Ruorui's aunt's house. Jia Ruorui and her aunt were waiting at home; Jia Ruorui's aunt would also be coming with him. Ouyang Yiming quietly said to Jia Ruorui, "This is my first time visiting your house, and I don't know what to bring." Jia Ruorui said, "I don't know what to bring either; I'll just buy whatever." Ouyang Yiming said, "Where we live, we have a custom of giving a gift when meeting a child for the first time. Do you think a thousand yuan is enough?" Jia Ruorui said, "Why take so much? Five hundred is enough." Jia Ruorui's aunt came out of the room and asked what was wrong. Jia Ruorui said,

"Ouyang doesn't know what to bring when he visits our family for the first time." Jia Ruorui's aunt laughed and said, "Just buy some food and a few bottles of wine, there aren't so many rules there." After leaving, she bought some things for Jia Ruorui's parents and the child at a nearby shopping mall and then set off.

They arrived in Hangzhou a little after six and first went to the hospital where Jia Ruorui's sister was giving birth. Jia Ruorui's mother, brother-in-law, mother-in-law, and others were there.

Jia Ruorui's aunt introduced Ouyang Yiming to everyone, and judging from everyone's expressions, they were quite satisfied with him. After exchanging a few words, Jia Ruorui handed the five hundred yuan that Ouyang Yiming had given her to her sister, saying, "This is a gift from Ouyang to your precious son." Jia Ruorui's sister looked at the money and said, "Why so much?" Jia Ruorui replied, "It's his heartfelt gift."

Her sister smiled and accepted it, then tugged at Jia Ruorui's arm and whispered, "I've heard Mom talk about him before, but I only know him today. You're so lucky! Look how handsome and charismatic he is, better than any movie actor, talented and rich. You're destined for a life of luxury." Jia Ruorui smiled and said, "My brother-in-law isn't bad either!" Her sister said, "He's not even as good as one of his toes." Jia Ruorui laughed twice but didn't continue, feeling a sweet warmth in her heart.

After a while, Jia Ruorui's mother said she was going home. Jia Ruorui's sister then asked Ouyang Yiming and her aunt if they could stay for a couple of days. Jia Ruorui's aunt said they would be going back the next day. Jia Ruorui's brother-in-law exchanged a few more polite words with Ouyang Yiming. Ouyang Yiming and a few others went to Jia Ruorui's house. They had dinner at a restaurant that evening, and Jia Ruorui's parents were quite satisfied with Ouyang Yiming.

Details are omitted here.

After dinner, Ouyang Yiming rested at a hotel near Jia Ruorui's house. Jia Ruorui said, "You've never been to West Lake before. We don't have anything planned for tomorrow, so I'll go with you to West Lake in the morning, take some pictures, and then we'll go back to Jinling in the afternoon." Ouyang Yiming agreed.

Lying in bed, Ouyang Yiming suddenly remembered something: his marriage with Xu Hui was over, and he would be married to Jia Ruorui for life. Of course, he no longer wanted any contact with Liu Yan. He didn't even know if Liu Yan was still working at that club, and even if he did, he didn't want to contact her directly. He also needed to settle the matter of the two thousand yuan Liu Yan left him when they broke up. He thought of asking Jin Ling to help him pass it on. But then he thought about how many years had passed, and he couldn't just return two thousand yuan. He didn't have much money with him; he only had a little over a thousand yuan. He secretly regretted not thinking of this before he came. She thought to herself, "There will be plenty of opportunities to come to Hangzhou in the future. Then I'll bring more and give it to Jinling to pass on to Liu Yan, thus fulfilling a long-held wish. I will never again have any personal relationship with a family like hers, a high-ranking official's family. And I will ensure that my descendants never have any connection with such a family!"

The next morning, Ouyang Yiming had breakfast at Jia Ruorui's house. After breakfast, Jia Ruorui told her parents that she and her husband were going to West Lake. Ouyang Yiming then asked Jia Ruorui's aunt if she wanted to go. Jia Ruorui's aunt replied, "I grew up here and have played here countless times. You two go ahead. We're going to the hospital to keep your sister company. We have to go back this afternoon; we all have to go to work tomorrow." Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui then drove Jia Ruorui's mother and aunt to the hospital. After chatting for a while, they said goodbye and left.

Inside the car, Ouyang Yiming asked, "I've never been to West Lake before, and I can't possibly see everything in just one morning. Where's a good place to go?" Jia Ruorui said, "Let's go to Lingyin Temple. There are so many attractions at West Lake; you can't possibly see everything in one morning." Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm completely lost here. I'll listen to you and take me wherever you want." Jia Ruorui laughed and said, "I charge for being your tour guide." Ouyang Yiming chuckled twice and said, "Okay, name your price." Jia Ruorui giggled and said, "It'll be very expensive." Ouyang Yiming said, "Really? Well, there has to be a price!"

Jia Ruorui said, "I don't want money, I just want you." Her face turned bright red as she finished speaking. She didn't even know why she had said that. Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui both laughed.

After laughing, Jia Ruorui said, "I talked to my parents late into the night last night, and they were both very satisfied with you. They said that a person's character is revealed at first glance, and they could tell you had a good heart. They said you'll definitely treat me well in the future." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "I'm relieved that your parents approve. Don't say so many comforting things for me on their behalf. Did they say something about me that you don't want to hear?" Jia Ruorui said, "I'm telling the truth. My dad doesn't usually praise anyone casually. When my sister and brother-in-law were dating, the first time my brother-in-law came to our house, my dad said this wasn't good enough for my sister and that wasn't good enough for him. But this time when you came, my dad said several good things about you. He really said several good things." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Really? Then you have to thank your dad for me." Ouyang Yiming chuckled a few times, feeling particularly proud of himself.

After wandering around Lingyin Temple and other places, Jia Ruorui urged Ouyang Yiming to go inside and pray to the Buddha and Bodhisattvas at the entrance of the main hall. Ouyang Yiming, remembering Xu Hui's death, felt a surge of resentment and said, "I don't like it. Why don't you go?" Jia Ruorui looked at him and said, "If you don't go, I won't go either. But everyone who comes here wants to pray to the Buddha." Ouyang Yiming said indifferently,

"It's meaningless." He then turned and left. Jia Ruorui hesitated for a moment, then chased after him, taking a few steps with her arm and softly asking, "You don't believe in Buddha?" Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and asked in return, "Do you?" Jia Ruorui said, "I'm not a Buddhist either. These things are either true or false. But when I come here, I always want to pray." Ouyang Yiming sighed and said,

"I used to believe, and I even prayed and prayed sincerely, but what happened? What happened? I won't believe in any Buddha or Bodhisattva anymore! I don't believe anymore, I won't believe anymore..."

As he spoke, tears welled up in his eyes.

Seeing his tear-filled eyes, Jia Ruorui was puzzled, but knowing that Ouyang Yiming must have remembered something sad, she silently followed him without saying a word. Ouyang Yiming swallowed his tears, turned to look at Jia Ruorui, and said, "I'm sorry, I won't believe in these things anymore." Jia Ruorui said, "I understand, and I don't want to ask you. I... I shouldn't have brought you here." Ouyang Yiming said, "No, no, you're not wrong. We came here just to see the scenery." Jia Ruorui nodded and said, "Yes, to see the scenery." After walking a few steps, Ouyang Yiming said,

"Ruorui, you understood what I just said, didn't you? Actually, when Xu Hui was sick, I really believed in it. I was truly devout. I even made a vow before Buddha that I could cure Xu Hui's illness. I would give everything I had to rebuild Buddha's golden statue. But... but it was useless. Nothing worked. Xu Hui still left, left... She was too young. She had so many good days to live. She just left like that. Why should I still believe in these empty things?" As he spoke, tears welled up in his eyes again. Jia Ruorui sighed and said, "Ouyang, I guess you might be thinking about Xu Hui.

Listen to me, don't keep thinking about it. It's my fault too, I didn't consider these things earlier. Let's... let's go." Ouyang Yiming turned to look at Jia Ruorui, secretly blaming himself. How could he have lost his composure in front of Jia Ruorui because of Xu Hui? What would a young woman think of him like this? He felt a lot of guilt towards her. He hurriedly said, "Ruorui, I'm sorry, I lost my composure."

Jia Ruorui smiled at him and said, "I understand, I understand. Okay, let's not talk about it anymore, you don't need to think about it anymore, let's go take pictures." As soon as she finished speaking, a man in his forties walked up to Ouyang Yiming and pulled him. Ouyang Yiming was stunned and turned to look at him, stopping. The man, all smiles, said, "Comrades, seeing that you two are both intellectuals, I have a few books here that I'm sure you'll be interested in." Just as Ouyang Yiming was about to speak, Jia Ruorui said to the man, "Excuse me, we don't want them." She gently nudged Ouyang Yiming's arm and whispered, "Let's go." Ouyang Yiming turned away.

The man said, "It's alright if you don't want to take a look; I have plenty here." He then pulled out several poorly printed pamphlets and handed them over. Ouyang Yiming stopped and took the book. He wasn't interested in the fortune-telling and dream interpretation books, but he found a book called *Daoji's Verses*. He opened it and saw the following verse on the first page: "Life is all arranged by fate—what is there to seek today, for we know not what tomorrow will bring?—what is there to worry about, for we should pay homage to our parents and the Buddha?—what is there to respect, for we are all of the same blood as our brothers and sisters?—what is there to fight over, for our children and grandchildren have their own blessings?—what is there to worry about, for everyone has their time of good fortune?—what is there to be anxious about, for it is rare to find someone who can laugh?—what is there to suffer, for patching clothes and keeping warm is enough?—what is there to display, for what is a mere three inches long?—what is there to be greedy about, for we can't take a penny with us after death?—what is there to be stingy about, for our ancestors' land will be reaped by our descendants?—what is there to gain an advantage, for we will lose it?—what is there to be greedy about, for there are gods watching from above?—what is there to be arrogant about, for wealth and glory are predetermined in a previous life?" —Why envy those who didn't cultivate virtue in their past lives and suffer in this life?—Why resent those who gamble and have no end in sight?—Why play tricks that secretly drain your marrow?—Why be lewd?—Evil people will be punished by other evil people.—Why hate those who kill with their pens and swords and end up committing suicide?—Why be shrewish?—Frugality in managing a household is better than asking for favors.—Why be extravagant?—Even servants are born of parents.—Why be arrogant?—Arguing over trivial matters will only lead to nothing.—Why be annoyed?—Where in life do we not meet again?—Why be ruthless?—When will the cycle of revenge end?—Why be entangled?—Worldly affairs are like a game of chess.—Why be clever but end up being clever for your own good?—Why be cunning?—False words will ruin your life's fortune.—Why lie?—Who can guarantee that everything will be alright?—Why mock?—The key to success lies in people's hearts, not in mountains.—Why scheme?—Deceiving others is a disaster, while forgiving others is a blessing.—Why divine?—Ouyang Yiming silently finished reading, sighing repeatedly in his heart, and then asked how much this booklet would cost. Seeing his interest, the man smiled and said, "Ten yuan." Jia Ruorui glared and said, "How can such thin booklets cost so much?" She nudged Ouyang Yiming and said, "Come on, don't want them." She took the booklets from Ouyang Yiming's hand and handed them to the man. The man hurriedly said, "Seeing that this gentleman really likes them, how about six yuan? I won't sell them for less." Jia Ruorui said, "Three yuan." The man glanced at Ouyang Yiming's expression and said, "No, six yuan is the lowest price. If you really don't want to buy them, then forget it." He turned to leave, and Ouyang Yiming said, "Six yuan it is." He took out his wallet from his pocket. Jia Ruorui quickly said she had change.

So she handed the man six yuan and took a booklet. The man then asked if she wanted anything else, but Ouyang Yiming waved his hand and said no. The man left.

Ouyang Yiming said, "The monk Ji Gong was quite a learned and enlightened monk. This proverb is very insightful. Take a look." He handed it to her. Jia Ruorui smiled and took it, saying, "I just glanced at it, and it makes some sense. But it's quite expensive. I'll keep it and read it slowly when I get home." She put it in her bag, looked up, and laughed, saying, "I can't help but laugh whenever I think of You Benchang's portrayal of Ji Gong. He was incredibly lifelike." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "Yes! Judging from his appearance, with his tattered hat, broken fan, worn-out shoes, and dirty robe, he looks like a beggar or a rogue, neither monk nor Taoist. In reality, he should be an enlightened monk. He understands these proverbs very well."

Jia Ruorui nodded and said, "I know that. Monk Daoji was the sixth-generation enlightened monk of the Yangqi school of Chan Buddhism. His original name was Li Xiuyuan, and he was from Yongning Village, Tiantai. In his youth, he studied at Ruixia Cave on Chicheng Mountain north of the village, where he was influenced by Buddhism and Taoism. He first went to Guoqing Temple to study under Fakong Yiben, then visited Daoqing at Zhiyuan Temple and Daojing at Guanyin Temple, and finally went to Lingyin Temple in Hangzhou. Under the tutelage of the eminent monk Xiatang Huiyuan, he received full ordination and was named 'Daoji'. The Records of Jingci Temple states: Daoji, courtesy name Huyin, was the son of Li Maochun of Tiantai. His mother was surnamed Wang. He was born on the eighth day of the twelfth month of the eighteenth year of Shaoxing. At the age of eighteen, he went to live in the courtyard of Xiatang at Lingyin Temple. He was eccentric and fond of wine and meat, and spent his time in the marketplace. Sometimes he would play with other children, calling them 'monkeys in caves' and doing somersaults. The monks criticized him. Xiatang said, 'The Buddhist gate is vast, how can it not accommodate a mad monk?' So he dared not expel him, and from then on, people called him Ji Dian (Crazy Ji)." "Jia Ruorui walked along, arm in arm with Ouyang Yiming, talking as she went. Ouyang Yiming was surprised as he listened, and after Jia Ruorui finished speaking, he sighed, 'That's right. If the eminent monk Huiyuan hadn't spoken up, Lingyin Temple wouldn't have had a place for Ji Gong to stay, and it wouldn't have achieved its current fame.' Looking at Jia Ruorui, he smiled and said, 'I didn't expect you to know so much. I'll have to learn from you in the future.'

Jia Ruorui smiled and said, 'A couple of years ago, I watched a TV series and thought of looking up some information about the monk Daoji. I remember this section of the *Jingci Temple Chronicle* very well.' She paused for a moment and then said, 'Don't forget, I'm originally a humanities student. I'm also interested in these things.' Ouyang Yiming nodded with a smile. Jia Ruorui said, 'I'm most interested in the birth of the monk Daoji. The claim that he was 'born after swallowing sunlight in a dream' must be a myth. How could there be such a divine birth in the world! Jia Baoyu in *Dream of the Red Chamber* was born with a jade in his mouth, wasn't that made up by Cao Xueqin? What do you think?'" Ouyang Yiming suddenly remembered the pomegranate tree in his house blooming before he was born, and the heavy snowfall in the summer when Xu Hui was born, and he was momentarily at a loss. He replied to Jia Ruorui, "Who knows?" and then fell silent. Jia Ruorui saw Ouyang Yiming frowning, wondering what he was thinking, and didn't ask. She leaned against Ouyang Yiming and walked slowly forward.

Afterwards, whenever they saw a nice view, they would take some photos of each other, and they would also ask others to take some photos of them together. Every time Jia Ruorui took a photo with Ouyang Yiming, she would hold his arm tightly and lean on his shoulder. The intimate expressions of this beautiful couple made the photographers envious.

But what they never expected was that for a while, no, for quite a while, two pairs of eyes had been watching them for a long time and had been secretly following them. Every intimate move of Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui was seen by them...

Love and Desire (175) Chapter

173

May 14th (the tenth day of the fourth lunar month) was Jinling's birthday, which also happened to be a Sunday. Jinling had been very excited for days, planning with Liang Chao how to celebrate. Liang Chao said, "Why don't we go back to Xiaoshan and have a good get-together with our families? Everyone's free on Sunday." Jinling said, "If I celebrate my birthday and disturb the elders at home, I don't know what they'll think. Forget it, let's just celebrate together. I'll be happy as long as you celebrate with me." Liang Chao said, "How about we find a restaurant and have a get-together with some of your colleagues and my colleagues who are close to you?" Jinling thought for a moment and said, "No need for such a fuss. I think we can order a cake on Saturday, and on Sunday we can go to Lingyin Temple together, take some pictures, and pray to the Buddha. I haven't been there in a long time." Liang Chao readily agreed.

Early Sunday morning, Jin Ling and Liang Chao, dressed casually, took a car to Lingyin Temple. They walked around the mountain, took some pictures, and went inside the main hall to pay their respects to the Buddha and Bodhisattvas. As they were leaving the hall, Liang Chao suddenly pulled her excitedly, pointed outside, and said, "Look, isn't that Liu Yan's... her first love, Ouyang?" Jin Ling's heart skipped a beat. She followed his finger and, a moment later, spotted Ouyang Yiming among the many tourists, talking to a woman with her arm linked with his. Excitedly, she exclaimed, "Yes, it's him and Xu Hui!" She then hurried towards the hall's exit. Liang Chao caught up with her a few steps, pulled her behind a tree, and whispered, "Look closely, that man is Ouyang, and that woman isn't Xu Hui." Jin Ling gasped in surprise, then quickly turned back to look at the woman talking to Ouyang Yiming. Liang Chao said, "I noticed earlier. When that woman turned around, I saw her face. It's definitely not Xu Hui. Xu Hui isn't that tall!" Although Liang Chao had only spent half a day in Panzhou with Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui, he wouldn't mistake Xu Hui. Besides, Xu Hui didn't wear glasses, but this woman did!

After hearing this, Jin Ling looked more closely and, from the side profile, it definitely wasn't Xu Hui. Her heart pounded wildly, and she turned to ask Liang Chao, "Then who is this woman?" Liang Chao said, "How would I know who she is! Hey, we can't go over and greet them now. I think this woman is definitely not Ouyang's decent woman; maybe she's his lover." Jin Ling was stunned for a moment, then said strangely, "Don't talk nonsense. Ouyang wouldn't be that kind of person." Liang Chao said, "You don't understand anything. You and I know what kind of person Ouyang is." "We haven't had any deep interactions with him. Ouyang is the vice president of the research institute, and he's so handsome and charming, how could he not have women who like him? These days, which boss or manager with some ability and money doesn't have a few mistresses?

I've heard that a lot in this industry. Besides, Ouyang Yiming is such a charming man. I think it's his mistress, otherwise why wouldn't she come with Xu Hui? Two people, a man and a woman, coming here alone from Panzhou, can their relationship be normal?"

Jin Ling thought this made sense, but she still didn't want to believe it, muttering, "Ouyang wouldn't be that kind of person, how could he be like that?!" Liang Chao said, "Whether he is or not, we shouldn't bother with him now, or it will make things very awkward." Jin Ling nodded, her eyes fixed on Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui, thinking angrily, "It's rare for Liu Yan to be so devoted to Ouyang, how could he be like that!" "My heart was pounding as I thought about it, but I still refused to believe that the woman was Ouyang Yiming's mistress. Seeing Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui walk away, Jinling emerged from behind a tree. Liang Chao hurriedly asked, 'What are you doing?' Jinling, panting, said, 'I'm following to see if it's true.' She then took another step.

Liang Chao grabbed her again, saying, 'Are you crazy? What does their relationship have to do with us? What if they see us like this? How will we look?' Jinling said,

'I don't believe Ouyang would be that kind of person. Maybe she's his friend, or even his sister! Yes, I heard Liu Yan say she has a sister.' Liang Chao said, 'Look at how affectionate they are, how could it be…'

Jinling said, 'Can't a sister act like that with her brother? Don't worry about it!' She took another step. Liang Chao followed closely, saying, 'Alright, then let's observe carefully first. We absolutely cannot greet them now.'" Jin

Ling nodded in agreement.

After that, the two secretly followed Ouyang Yiming and Jia Ruorui for quite some time, seeing them buy the booklet, seeing them cuddling together intimately taking pictures, seeing them sweetly exchanging words. Finally, Jin Ling had to admit to herself that this woman must be someone with an improper relationship with Ouyang Yiming. Once Jin Ling finally confirmed the improper relationship between Ouyang Yiming and this woman, her anger could no longer be contained. She turned and left quickly, sitting down on a rock in a grove of trees, muttering angrily, "Despicable, so despicable." Liang Chao hurriedly followed her, standing in front of Jin Ling, looking at her angry expression, and said, "Look at you, what does this have to do with us? What does it matter to us what Ouyang does?! Are you crazy?!" Jin Ling glared at him and said, "You're the one who's crazy! None of you men are any good!" Liang Chao glared

at her, then smiled ingratiatingly, "Why are you bringing me up again? I didn't do anything?" Jin Ling said, "You haven't reached his level! He's despicable, truly despicable! You can never judge a book by its cover. He looks like such a gentleman, but I never imagined he was such a shameful man. He's disgusting!" Liang Chao said, "Hey, what does it have to do with us? Aren't you just asking for trouble?"

Jin Ling glared at him and said, "How can it not be my business?! I'm just feeling sorry for Liu Yan. Do you know? Liu Yan can't accept other men because of him, Liu Yan has shed countless tears for him, no one can compare to Liu Yan's feelings for him, Liu Yan's heart is filled with him, Liu Yan considers him the most lovable man in the world... My God, how could Liu Yan know that Ouyang is like this? If Liu Yan knew that Ouyang was like this, she would be heartbroken. What kind of piece of trash is this kind of man? Does she deserve him?" How could such a good woman like Liu Yan even think about or love him? Liu Yan was truly blind; how could she have imagined that the man she cared about most could be so shameless? It's a good thing Liu Yan didn't marry such a despicable man, and it's a good thing we didn't accomplish what we hoped for when we went to Panzhou to find him.

Liu Yan is truly pitiful, so pitiful. Xu Hui is also truly pathetic, so pathetic. How could such an excellent woman like Xu Hui marry such a man? It's such a pity for Xu Hui. Alas, how could this happen, how could this happen! Tears streamed down her face as she spoke.

Hearing Jin Ling's agitated words, Liang Chao paused for a moment, then squatted down opposite her and said, "Jin Ling, I know you feel sorry for Liu Yan, sorry for her feelings for Ouyang.

But this isn't something we can control. How they live their lives is their business, why should we get so angry? Besides, Liu Yan and Ouyang have already broken up. We're not very familiar with Ouyang and Xu Hui, so it's none of our business what they do. Forget it, it's unnecessary!"

Jin Ling said tearfully, "Liang Chao, do you know how Liu Yan feels right now? Last time she called me, she cried and said she couldn't let go of Ouyang. Deep down, she can't accept another man because of Ouyang. I know Liu Yan's thoughts better than anyone. She said she's now planning to accept that..." "A university professor, but I know she just wanted a husband, just wanted a stepfather for her child. She actually had no feelings for that man. She chose that university professor because she used Ouyang as a benchmark. But how could she possibly know Ouyang was like this? If she knew Ouyang was like this, her pillar of support would be gone. How pitiful Liu Yan is!"

Liang Chao said, "How could Liu Yan know about Ouyang? If you didn't tell me and I didn't tell her, how would she know?" Jin Ling said, "We absolutely cannot let Liu Yan know about this, otherwise she might collapse, her spirit will break down. We absolutely cannot!" She paused, looking at the ground, and murmured, "I really didn't expect, I really didn't expect Ouyang to be this kind of person." Liang Chao said:

“How much do we really know about Ouyang? We’re practically strangers to him,” Jin Ling said. “But Liu Yan should know him, so why is she so infatuated with him?” Liang Chao said,

“People change. People change when their status changes. I work at the tax bureau, and I’ve seen too many wealthy bosses do this.” Jin Ling thought for a moment and suddenly looked at him, asking,

“Can you do that in the future?” Liang Chao laughed and said, “Do you think I have that kind of guts? Besides, who would even look at me?”

Jin Ling looked at him for a while and said fiercely, “Liang Chao, no matter when, if I ever find out you’ve done something like this, I’ll die with you.” Liang Chao trembled and felt a chill. A moment later, an unnatural smile appeared on his face as he said, "Look, you've brought me up again. Don't worry, I'll never let you down in this life, and I won't let you down in the next." Jinling looked at him as he stood up and said, "Let's go home." Liang Chao frowned, "Going home now? Didn't you say you weren't going home at noon?" Jinling said, "I really don't feel like playing anymore. Let's go home!" Liang Chao was about to say something more. Jinling said impatiently, "Can you please stop talking?" Liang Chao looked at her and shook his head, then followed Jinling and started walking... Jinling was sullen all afternoon, and naturally, she didn't have a good birthday. Lying in bed that night, Jinling said, "Do you think Liu Yan's life is good or bad?" Liang Chao said:

"How can I put it? Overall, it's good that Liu Yan was born into such a family. Whether someone's fate is good or bad can't be judged based on a few misfortunes. A person has many days to live in their life,"

Jin Ling said. "My comrades and I have always envied Liu Yan since school, envied her family background, envied her beauty, and thought she would have a happy life. We never imagined her marriage would be so tragic. I used to feel sorry that Liu Yan didn't end up with Ouyang, secretly blaming her mother countless times, even lamenting that she couldn't receive true love because of her family background. Now, in a sense, it's lucky that Liu Yan didn't marry Ouyang. Sigh, I don't know what fate Liu Yan has. Her family arranged for her to marry Zhang Lei, who is such a scoundrel, and now the Ouyang she loves is the same. Who knows what kind of person this university teacher she's with will be in the future? If..." "If it works out, I hope it doesn't end up like Zhang Lei and Ouyang,"

Liang Chao said. "Didn't you say Liu Yan and this university teacher might not work out?" Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan said the university teacher is a good person,

but she just doesn't feel anything for him. Liang Chao, think about it, no matter how good someone is, if you don't feel anything for them, how can you live together for a lifetime? I've always felt that it's not suitable for them to get together like this. I've told her several times before to think it over carefully, and if she gets married and then feels it's not right, she'll regret it even more." She paused and said, "Actually, I know Liu Yan still has Ouyang in her heart. How can she accept someone else when she has a man she cares about so much? She's using Ouyang as a standard when she's looking for this university teacher. Liu Yan is so stubborn. There are so many excellent men in the army. If Liu Yan wanted to find someone, with her looks, it wouldn't be difficult for her to find a young man who's never been married before, especially with her such prominent parents!" Liang Chao said:

“Yes! Liu Yan is truly devoted,” Jin Ling said. “How heartbroken would Liu Yan be if she knew what Ouyang was like now?”

Liang Chao thought for a moment, then suddenly had an idea and said, “Jin Ling, I don’t think it’s a bad thing for Liu Yan to know this. Think about it, Liu Yan is using Ouyang as a standard for choosing a boyfriend. If that image is shattered in her heart, and she’s disappointed, she’ll be sad for a while. She might even abandon her original criteria and look for her true love, quickly transferring her affections to someone else. It’s not like that isn’t a good thing!”

Jin Ling’s heart trembled. She thought for a moment and said, “You’re right, but it’s really cruel for Liu Yan. She has a good impression of that university professor now, but she says she just can’t fall in love with him because of Ouyang. Last time she cried, saying she couldn’t let go of Ouyang. If Liu Yan’s mind is always on Ouyang, even if that university professor is good, she can’t possibly fall in love with him. If that university professor really…” "If it's a good match, Liu Yan will be lucky to marry him. My only concern is what that university professor is really like. She called last time and said she wanted me to give her some advice. By the way, she said she'd like to come visit sometime. Maybe I should call her in the next couple of days and ask her if she can come for a few days. I'll have a good talk with her, and if the professor is really good, I'll advise her to marry him. Hearing Liu Yan's side of the story will tell me what he's really like. If Liu Yan is just using Ouyang as a role model and that's why she chose that professor, they won't have a good relationship. We'll see if we can talk to her about Ouyang later. If she's given up on Ouyang, even if the professor isn't suitable, she'll quickly accept another man. I sincerely hope she can find a man she loves." Liang Chao nodded and said, "That's good. Otherwise, if Liu Yan keeps thinking about Ouyang, she won't have a good relationship even if she accepts another man." Jin Ling sighed and said, "Isn't that right?"

The following evening, Jinling called Liu Yan. Hearing Liu Yan's voice, and thinking about Ouyang Yiming and that woman, she felt sorry for Liu Yan. Suppressing her emotions, she said in a light tone, "Liu Yan, when are you coming to visit? We've been waiting for you, but you just can't come. I really miss you, and I miss our Ruhan." Liu Yan said, "I really want to go too. How about this, I'll think about it for a few days." Jinling said, "What are you thinking about? Work isn't very busy to begin with. Just arrange it with your subordinates and you'll come. The weather will be very hot soon; the temperature is perfect now. Come quickly!" Liu Yan thought for a moment and said, "Okay, I'll see if I can get away from work tomorrow. If I can, my daughter and I will go." "Jinling said, 'We've got this settled, so don't come back later. I'll be really angry if you don't come.' Liu Yan said, 'Okay, as long as you don't mind the trouble.' Jinling said, 'I've been waiting for this like it's nothing, how could I mind the trouble for you? Don't say anything more, just bring our son!' Liu Yan said, 'Okay, we'll go in the next few days, definitely.' Jinling said, 'I'm listening carefully to that. You know our department's phone number, and I'll give you Liang Chao's office number too. Call before you come.' Then she gave Liu Yan Liang Chao's phone number.

Three days later, Jinling received a call from Liu Yan at her office. Liu Yan told her that she would take the train to Hangzhou at 6 pm and arrive the next afternoon. Jinling then asked for the specific train number and whether she had bought a sleeper berth. Liu Yan said that her mother had arranged a soft sleeper, otherwise, how could the child endure the nearly 20-hour journey? Jinling sighed inwardly, 'Don't even mention the price of the tickets, we need to pull some strings to get a soft sleeper!'" Children of high-ranking officials are indeed different from ordinary people. After that, he worried about how to pull strings to buy Liu Yan a soft-sleeper train ticket when she returned home.

The following afternoon, around 4 PM, Jin Ling and Liang Chao picked up Liu Yan and her son at the train station. After greeting them, Jin Ling hugged Ru Han and kissed him, saying, "Son, we've been waiting for you two!" Liu Yan smiled and said, "Coming here is just causing you trouble." Jin Ling said, "Don't say that to us, what trouble? We'd be more upset if you didn't come." Liang Chao chuckled and said, "That's right, that's right." He took Liu Yan's suitcase, and the group headed towards the square. As they walked, Jin Ling said, "We don't have a special car to pick you up, so you'll have to take a taxi home." Liu Yan said, "Taking the bus is fine, I'm not that delicate." Jin Ling said, "How can that be? If you don't have a special car, then take a taxi." Liu Yan smiled.

That evening, after having dinner at a restaurant, Jinling said to Liu Yan, "Let's stay at home tonight. I'll have Liang Chao find a place to sleep. Let's have a good chat." Liu Yan smiled and nodded.

Jinling blushed as she said this. Actually, after receiving Liu Yan's call, Jinling had discussed the accommodation and return tickets for Liu Yan and her son with Liang Chao. Jinling said, "I've thought about it, and we'd better let Liu Yan and her daughter stay at home. You see, it would be awkward for Liu Yan to stay in a small hotel, and a night in a big hotel costs a lot of money. It wouldn't be right for Liu Yan to pay for her accommodation.

How many days can we afford to stay in a big hotel with the little money we have each month? Let them stay at home with me, and you can find a place to sleep." Liang Chao was happy to agree. Then they talked about Liu Yan's return ticket. Liang Chao said, "I'll find someone to help us. We have to buy them a soft sleeper ticket back. We can't afford to lose face like that."

Jinling took a few days off to accompany Liu Yan and her daughter on a trip to Hangzhou's tourist attractions. They talked a lot about Tan Qihao when they slept together that night. To avoid spoiling Liu Yan's trip, Jin Ling didn't tell Liu Yan about Ouyang Yiming and that woman. The night before Liu Yan left, after Ru Han went to sleep, Jin Ling and Liu Yan were watching TV in the living room. After much consideration, Jin Ling finally brought up the matter with Liu Yan. Jinling asked, "Are you really leaving tomorrow?" Liu Yan said, "I've kept you from work for a few days because I'm here, so I should go too." Jinling said, "I'm really going to miss you."

Liu Yan said, "There's always a time for parting."

Jinling nodded, paused for a moment, and said, "Liu Yan, although I've never met Tan Qichao, I've heard from your words these past few days that he really likes you, loves you, and cherishes you. I think... I think you and he are still a good match. Just marry him, as long as he's good to you and the child." Liu Yan said, "Actually, I don't know how many times I've thought about this. He really is a good person. But I just don't have many feelings for him." Jinling said, "I understand. Actually, you still have Ouyang Yiming in your heart. But... but after all these years, Ouyang Yiming might not be as perfect as you imagine. People will..." "Changed." Liu Yan looked at her in confusion and asked, "What...what do you mean?"

Jin Ling looked at her, sighed, and her eyes reddened as she said, "Liu Yan, there's something I've been keeping from you these past few days, afraid of affecting your mood." Liu Yan was startled and asked, "What is it?"

Jin Ling looked at her and said softly, "A few days ago, Liang Chao and I went to Lingyin Temple and saw Ouyang Yiming." Liu Yan sat up straight abruptly and stared at Jin Ling, asking, "When? Did he come to Hangzhou?"

Jin Ling nodded and said, "Yes, he came to Hangzhou, the day before yesterday when I called you." Liu Yan asked anxiously, "You...you saw him? Where did you see him?"

Jin Ling glanced at Liu Yan, thinking about how Liu Yan still cared so much for the philandering man Ouyang Yiming, how infatuated she was. She thought to herself, Ouyang Yiming really owes Liu Yan a debt of gratitude. How heartbroken Liu Yan must be to know Ouyang Yiming's character. She couldn't help but feel sad, and tears welled up in her eyes. Seeing this, Liu Yan grabbed Jin Ling's hand anxiously and said, "Jin Ling, what are you doing?

Why don't you say anything?" Jin Ling looked at her and tears streamed down her face. She said, "Liu Yan, Ouyang... Ouyang isn't worth your love." Liu Yan was shocked. Her grip on Jin Ling's hand trembled slightly. She said, "Jin Ling, what are you saying? What are you saying?!" Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I just said, people change. Ouyang has changed." Liu Yan stared intently at her and asked, "Changed? Changed to what? How did he change?" Jin Ling held Liu Yan's hand tightly and said, "Liu Yan, I..." "I won't lie to you, that day Liang Chao and I went to Lingyin Temple and we really saw Ouyang Yiming. He was with a woman, a very beautiful woman. But that woman wasn't Xu Hui. Do you understand?" Liu Yan stared at her blankly for a moment, then shook her head and said, "I don't understand." Jin Ling said, "Ouyang Yiming came with another woman, and their relationship isn't normal, do you understand?" Liu Yan seemed a little panicked, and after a moment said, "No, no, Ouyang would never be that kind of person, he wouldn't be that kind of person, he wouldn't betray, betray..." "Xu Hui's. How could he be the kind of person you're describing! You're mistaken!" Jin Ling said, "I didn't want to believe it either. I would never have believed Ouyang was that kind of person if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. But I'm not mistaken. Liang Chao and I met Ouyang and Xu Hui in Panzhou. We've all had contact with them. Of course we know Xu Hui. Xu Hui doesn't wear glasses, but this woman does. This woman is also a bit taller than Xu Hui. I can't be mistaken." Liu Yan paused again, then shook her head and said, "No, no! I know Ouyang, I know him..." Liu Yan stopped speaking, opened her eyes wide, and looked at Jin Ling, saying, "You've misunderstood. Maybe that's his sister. He has a sister." Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, Liang Chao and I followed them for almost half an hour, and their expressions definitely didn't suggest a sibling relationship. Liu Yan, Liang Chao and I are absolutely certain, no doubt about it. This woman is definitely Ouyang's mistress, the woman he has an ambiguous relationship with. Liu Yan, you can believe Liang Chao and I are not mistaken." Liu Yan stared blankly at Jin Ling, muttering, "No, no..." Jin Ling said:

"Liu Yan, I don't believe he'd be that kind of man either, but it's true. Ouyang Yiming is a man of status now, and there are definitely women who like him. I discussed this with Liang Chao when we got back. Xu Hui works in Shanghai, and the couple lives apart. Do you think Ouyang can resist the temptations of women? There are too many cases like this. Men can go astray once they have power and money. Environment shapes people! Some women are naturally promiscuous, and it's inevitable that some will throw themselves at them. After all these years, how can you know what kind of person Ouyang will become?"

At this moment, Liu Yan thought of Zhang Lei and Wu Min again, and secretly thought that what Jin Ling said was entirely possible. But in her heart, she still didn't want to believe that Ouyang Yiming could be the kind of person Zhang Lei was. Ouyang Yiming could be said to be the embodiment of an upright and stable man in her heart, the embodiment of the perfect man in her heart. He was Ru Han's biological father, and she couldn't bear the thought that Ouyang Yiming would turn bad. Although Ouyang Yiming wasn't her husband, in her heart she only accepted Xu Hui as Ouyang Yiming's wife, and at the same time, Liu Yan always regarded Ouyang Yiming as her husband in her heart. This feeling was quite selfish. How could she accept that Ouyang Yiming had an improper relationship with another woman? Suddenly hearing about these things about Ouyang Yiming was like her beloved husband having an improper relationship with another woman and being unfaithful to her. It was even more painful than knowing about Zhang Lei and Wu Min's relationship. This unexpected heavy blow made her feel dizzy and weak all over. Tears welled up unexpectedly, and Liu Yan's hand, gripping Jin Ling's, trembled violently…

After a moment, Liu Yan said through tears, "I still can't believe it. I can't believe Ouyang would become like this. He wouldn't have become like this, and he shouldn't have." Jin Ling sighed and said, "No one wanted him to be like this, but Liang Chao and I saw it with our own eyes. To be honest, Liang Chao and I couldn't believe it when we first saw it, and we were heartbroken too. I feel sorry for you because of your feelings for him. Even though he married Xu Hui, I still feel he betrayed you. Liu Yan, I'm actually glad you didn't live with him. This kind of man isn't worth your time, really not worth it." Liu Yan shook her head, tears streaming down her face, and said, "Jin Ling, don't say it, don't say it…" At this moment, Liu Yan felt… Besides the pain of her husband's infidelity, there was also extreme shame and loss at the thought that Ouyang Yiming was Ru Han's biological father, disappointment and resentment towards the man she had always loved so deeply, a shameful and agonizing pain as if her beloved, whom she considered her life, had betrayed her, and despair as if all hope had been lost… Her body trembled violently, her heart bled and trembled, and she felt an unusual tightness in her chest… Jin Ling felt Liu Yan's trembling body, her cold palms, and her unusually heavy breathing… She was afraid, she regretted, she was at a loss… She stared intently at Liu Yan's tear-streaked eyes and softly called out in a trembling voice, "Liu Yan…" Liu Yan did not respond. Jin Ling pulled her into her arms, tears streaming down her face, and said, "Liu Yan, don't be like this, don't be like this, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have told you…" Liu Yan coldly turned her head to look at Jin Ling, then suddenly hugged her, crying out, "Ru Han, Ru Han…" before bursting into tears. The crying lasted for a long time, the two best friends hugging each other tightly and sobbing... They stopped crying, but tears still streamed down their faces. Liu Yan let go of Jin Ling and sat down to the side, taking out a tissue to wipe her tears and asking, "Jin Ling, are you really sure it's Ouyang Yiming? That...that woman is his..." Jin Ling said, "Yes, Liang Chao and I wouldn't be wrong." Liu Yan took a deep breath and exhaled, saying, "I never thought Ouyang Yiming would be like this." Jin Ling said, "Liu Yan, I understand your feelings for him; no one understands you better than me. I originally wanted to keep this from you forever, but I feel it's not worth it for your feelings for him."

Liu Yan thought silently for a while and said, "Could that woman be just an ordinary friend of his?" Jin Ling said, "Anyone can see that kind of relationship; it's impossible..." "They're just ordinary friends, like siblings. Liu Yan, think about it, Ouyang Yiming came all the way from Panzhou to here alone with a woman. Is that kind of intimate behavior normal? Neither you nor I know what kind of person Ouyang Yiming has become. I really feel sorry for Xu Hui. Although I haven't had much contact with her, I have a very good impression of her. She's an extremely upright, pure, and beautiful woman. How could Ouyang Yiming bear to betray her? Men are so easily corrupted; it's always us women who get hurt. How heartbroken Xu Hui would be if she knew about this!" Liu Yan said somewhat nervously, "Jinling, you absolutely mustn't tell anyone about this. Absolutely not." Liu Yan felt a sense of fear at the thought of Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui falling out.

Jin Ling said, "Who can I tell here? Who here knows Ouyang Yiming? And I certainly can't tell Xu Hui. But if this goes on for too long, Xu Hui will find out sooner or later!"

Liu Yan trembled, thought for a moment, and hurriedly asked, "Jin Ling, do you know his phone number?" Jin Ling glared at her and asked, "Liu Yan, what do you want to do?" Liu Yan said, "I want to stop him, otherwise he'll ruin himself."

Jin Ling was shocked and said, "Liu Yan, are you stupid? What's your relationship with him now? Do you still want to contact him? Liu Yan, even if you go to warn him, do you think he'll listen to you?

Even if he listens to you this time, can you watch over him forever? If he wants to do this, no one can stop him, Ouyang..." Even if Yiming leaves this woman, he'll still have contact with other women. Destroying him is his own business! You and he have no relationship anymore? You have absolutely no relationship with him. Liu Yan, it's unnecessary. Ouyang Yiming isn't a child anymore; he has his own thoughts. I was just saying that Xu Hui might find out later, but Xu Hui is so far away, it's not easy for her to find out. Liu Yan, forget him. He's not worth thinking about, not worth your love! No matter what, I still find men like this very much disgusted. My image of Ouyang Yiming has plummeted. You and he only spent a little over a year together. Back then, Ouyang Yiming was so innocent, but now it's different. Now he's the vice president of the research institute. At this age, when he's riding high, how could someone like him, separated from his wife, not have affairs? Even if you were to stop him, it shouldn't be you! Don't forget, Ouyang Yiming might no longer have you in his heart, and might even hate you. Have you considered the consequences of trying to stop him? He won't listen to you. Then again, for a successful man like him, such things are quite common; women would throw themselves at him.

It's just that it seems unacceptable to someone like Ouyang Yiming. Forget it, don't worry about it anymore. You must forget him. Only by forgetting him can you fully accept another man and live a life with another man. Liang Chao and I have thought about this for many days, and we still have to tell you this. "Don't imagine someone to be too perfect. Frankly, everyone is just a normal person with flaws; no one is perfect. Even if the person you initially thought was really good, they can change with circumstances. Or perhaps you never truly understood them in the first place. Liu Yan, since Tan Qihao is good and kind to you, accept him. Put all your heart into him. Only then can you have a good life in the future. Liu Yan, you must think more positively. Ru Han isn't young anymore. It's perfectly acceptable for him to accept Tan Qihao as his father now; he might rebel when

he's older. Of course, this is only if you can fully accept Tan Qihao." Although Liu Yan had mixed feelings about Jin Ling's words, she truly couldn't accept that Ouyang Yiming would change. Jin Ling said Ouyang Yiming had no relation to her. Yes, she had no relation to him, but she had a child with him, and the child lived beside her; he was Ru Han's biological father! Yes, she could never be his wife again, but Ru Han would always be his son, his own flesh and blood—that was undeniable. Since he was Ruhan's biological father, she absolutely couldn't bear the thought that her son's biological father was like this. Before this, she had always hoped to raise her son to be as successful and perfect as Ouyang Yiming. Ouyang Yiming had always been her standard for raising Ruhan, and she had even used him as a benchmark when choosing a husband.

Now, Ouyang Yiming's tall, perfect image shattered in Liu Yan's heart like a dazzling seven-colored ball, and the ivory tower she had built in her heart over the years suddenly collapsed. Liu Yan's spirit seemed empty. Her heart was bleeding; her heart was cold; her heart was chilled… Liu Yan didn't want to say anything more, and didn't know what else she could say. She could only call out Ouyang Yiming's name repeatedly in her heart, questioning him again and again why he could have become like this, why he could be as shameless as Zhang Lei, why…

Jin Ling took Liu Yan's hand again, staring at her and saying, "Liu Yan, Liang Chao and I initially didn't intend for you to know about this. We knew you would be heartbroken, but we later decided it's not a bad thing for you to know. Only by completely moving on from Ouyang Yiming can you find happiness in life. Although moving on from Ouyang Yiming is somewhat cruel, it's not necessarily a bad thing. Liu Yan, let's not talk about Ouyang Yiming right now. You have to accept that you're not meant to be with him in this life. If you always have him in your heart, even if you marry another man, you won't truly give your heart to him. Can you live a good life like that? Can you be happy? Tan Qihao is really good; you should give your heart to him. When your heart meets..." "Only by being together can you be happy, don't you think? On the other hand, if you truly let go of Ouyang Yiming, you're perfectly capable of accepting other men besides Tan Qihao. There are so many excellent men out there; with your qualities, you'll definitely find one easily. The reason you haven't found one before is because your heart is still with Ouyang Yiming, don't you think? As for Ruhan, he's still young and doesn't understand things. When he's older, he'll have his own thoughts, and it will be difficult for him to accept someone else as his father. It's better to get married sooner rather than later. Now you can say you have no relationship with Ouyang Yiming at all, and completely forget about him, okay?"

For a moment, Liu Yan really wanted to reveal that Ruhan was Ouyang Yiming's biological son. She immediately dismissed the idea, thinking to herself that she absolutely couldn't tell Jin Ling that Ruhan was Ouyang Yiming's child. If Ouyang Yiming really was like that, he no longer deserved to be Ruhan's father, and she would keep this a secret for the rest of her life.

"I need to find Ruhan a good father, a stepfather worthy of being his father," Liu Yan thought to herself. "So, can Tan Qihao be a good father?" The thought bothered her. So she said to Jin Ling, "Let's not talk about this anymore, I want to rest." As she stood up, she felt a little dizzy...

Love and Desire (176)

Chapter 174

After thinking about it all night, Liu Yan still couldn't decide whether to get involved in Ouyang Yiming's matter. What Jin Ling said wasn't unreasonable. Ouyang Yiming would change with the environment. Men who reach a certain status and have a certain amount of money will do these absurd things. Isn't Zhang Lei the same? Even after she caught him in the act, didn't he and Wu Min continue their sordid affair in Guangzhou?! But she just couldn't accept that Ouyang Yiming would be that kind of person. However, as Jin Ling said, after all, Ouyang Yiming was Xu Hui's husband, and Ouyang Yiming had no relationship with her anymore. She had no right to interfere in his affairs. But what truly worried her was how Xu Hui would treat Ouyang Yiming if she found out about his relationship with this woman. Would his happy family be ruined? More importantly, Liu Yan absolutely didn't want Ru Han's biological father to become like Zhang Lei.

Thinking about these things made her anxious. Although Ouyang Yiming wasn't her husband, and although marriage with him was impossible, deep down she wanted him and Xu Hui to be happy. But could she stop Ouyang Yiming's actions? That's why Xu Hui would stay with him her whole life… Liu Yan decided to think about it seriously after returning home. Before leaving Jin Ling, she asked her for Ouyang Yiming's phone number. Despite Jin Ling's repeated instructions not to get involved, she still took out her phone book and gave her Ouyang Yiming's office number in Panzhou. Of course, Jin Ling didn't know that Ouyang Yiming was already working in Jinling.

Liu Yan thought about many things on the way home. That evening, after returning home, Liu Yan, after much deliberation, nervously dialed Ouyang Yiming's number. She was both anxious and excited as she waited for the call; she was about to hear his voice. How should she tell him about it? After a long, frantic wait, the phone went unanswered. She stared blankly at the receiver, suddenly realizing it was Ouyang Yiming's office number. Why would he be in his office so late? She hadn't even realized she'd dialed his office number at night, and inwardly berated herself for her foolishness. Lying in bed, she continued to think about Ouyang Yiming and that woman, deciding to call him during his work hours during the day. She murmured, "I have to talk to Ouyang Yiming no matter what, otherwise he'll ruin his family, ruin his marriage with Xu Hui."

The next morning, her heart pounding, she dialed Ouyang Yiming's number, but again, no one answered. Liu Yan thought, perhaps Ouyang Yiming wasn't at work. Over the next two days, she called several more times, but still no one answered. Liu Yan began to suspect that Jin Ling had given her the wrong number. Two days later, Jin Ling called, and Liu Yan asked if the number for Ouyang Yiming was correct.

Jin Ling insisted it was definitely correct, suggesting that Ouyang Yiming might be away on a business trip. She then criticized Liu Yan for calling Ouyang Yiming, saying it was pointless. Liu Yan retorted, "Regardless of whether Ouyang Yiming and I are related now, as a friend, I should remind him, otherwise I'll ruin him!"

Jin Ling knew that Liu Yan would never let go of Ouyang Yiming. She thought to herself, "Liu Yan, with your infatuation, you have no hope of ever living with Ouyang Yiming, and do you think he'll listen to you? What if he doesn't listen to you after the call, or says something else? How embarrassing would that be! Why are you doing this?" After thinking for a moment, she said, "Liu Yan, you don't necessarily need to call him. If you really want to talk to him about this, wouldn't it be more effective to write a letter to remind him?" Liu Yan thought about it and agreed. She was also hesitant to speak directly with Ouyang Yiming, so writing a letter was the best way. She then asked Jin Ling for Ouyang Yiming's detailed work address. Jin Ling said, "I'm not entirely sure of Ouyang's exact work address, but you can still mail it by writing his company name. His company is 'Panzhou High-tech Research Institute.' Although his city isn't small, his company is very well-known in Panzhou." Liu Yan carefully wrote down Ouyang Yiming's company name.

That night, Liu Yan didn't leave her name in the letter; she only signed it "A dear old friend who hopes you will always be happy." But she believed that the observant Ouyang Yiming would recognize it from the handwriting and the mailing address. After writing the letter, Liu Yan thought to herself, "Ouyang Yiming, we should say that we have no connection left in this life. I wrote this letter to you, whether you listen to me or not, I've done my best for you. I hope you can consider your and Xu Hui's happiness. I have no other intentions, I just want what's best for you, I hope you and Xu Hui are happy.

I will never interfere in your affairs again, and I will not let Ru Han acknowledge you as his father. Take care!" In these past few days, Liu Yan truly felt the sorrow of willows and flowers; she felt utterly exhausted; she felt physically and mentally drained…

A week later, Tan Qihao asked Liu Yan out for the third time, and Liu Yan agreed. Upon meeting, looking into Tan Qihao's warm eyes, Liu Yan felt a surge of guilt towards him and said, "I'm sorry, I'm very tired from the trip, I just want to rest." Tan Qihao said, "Traveling is tiring, and I married her…" He stopped mid-sentence. Liu Yan, of course, knew that Tan Qihao was referring to his ex-wife. After thinking for a moment, she still asked, "Have you been to Hangzhou?" Tan Qihao said, "Yes." Liu Yan's mind immediately flashed back to Ouyang Yiming and that shady woman she'd never met, and her heart sank. During the meal, they chatted idly, but Liu Yan kept glancing at Tan Qihao, thinking about what she'd been pondering for the past few days: "Should I really agree to be with this man? Should I live with him?"

After dinner, they strolled slowly along the road. Liu Yan asked, "I still want to talk about your child. Can you really treat Ru Han like his own father for the rest of your life?" Tan Qihao looked at her and said, "I've said it countless times. I said I would treat the child as my own, and I will. Don't worry about this." Hearing this again, Liu Yan felt relieved once more and said, "I consider my child my life, you could say he's my everything." Liu Yan could say that after learning about Ouyang Yiming and that woman, she was already disappointed in him. Although she couldn't help but write to him, it was because she couldn't suppress her feelings for the old Ouyang Yiming. Now, she no longer wanted Ru Han to acknowledge him as his father. She only hoped that Tan Qihao could be a good man and a good father like the old Ouyang Yiming. Tan Qihao said, "Liu Yan, I understand. I understand your feelings very well. I don't want to say too much about the child; you'll know in the future." Liu Yan nodded. She took a few steps with her head down and said, "I've thought a lot these past few days. I think as long as you're good to the child and good to me, that's enough. I think you can do that too. I think... I think we should get married in the second half of this year."

Tan Qihao was overjoyed. He stopped and looked at Liu Yan with a beaming smile, asking, "You've decided? Really decided?" For some reason, Liu Yan's heart skipped a beat. She looked at him, nodded, and continued walking. Tan Qihao paused, then took two quick steps to catch up, saying, "Liu Yan, I'm so excited, so thrilled! You finally said those words." Liu Yan didn't look up or turn to look at him. A sudden wave of bittersweet sadness welled up inside her, and she felt an urge to cry. She took a few steps silently and said, "You're a very upright and honest man. To be honest, I really admire you. I just hope you'll always be this kind of person and not disappoint me." Turning to look at him, she asked, "Can you be truly sincere to me and to the child for the rest of your life?" Tan Qihao said, "I will, I definitely will." Liu Yan said, "I'm really scared, scared of marriage..."

Tan Qihao said, "I understand your thoughts very well. First, you're worried that I can't give you my true feelings for the rest of my life, and second, you're worried that I can't treat the child like a biological father. Liu Yan, don't worry..." "I will, I absolutely will, to be good to you and the child. You can ask around at the school about my character and personality; I'm not the kind of person you're worried about. Since I've married you, I'll give you all my love. And of course, there's Ruhan. It's fate that the child can live with me, and I will educate and nurture him like a biological father."

Liu Yan nodded, believing what Tan Qihao said. She believed this man wouldn't be like Zhang Lei and Ouyang Yiming, nor did he have their advantages or power. This man would only ever be a university teacher. Now she had seen from Zhang Lei and Ouyang Yiming that even the best men could change after gaining power. She just wanted a peaceful, ordinary life. They

came across a park, and Liu Yan looked at him and said, "Let's sit over there for a while." Tan Qihao readily agreed. Liu Yan sat down on a stone bench, looked at Tan Qihao, and said, "You asked me before why I got divorced, and now I can tell you. The reason I divorced Zhang Lei was that he had another woman behind my back, and that woman was one of my soldiers." Tan Qihao's eyes widened. "Really? This...this is unacceptable. How can you not put your heart into your wife and children after marriage? This...this is immoral."

Liu Yan felt particularly relieved to hear this. Tan Qihao then asked, "The divorce was caused by his moral depravity, so why didn't you want to say it before?" Liu Yan said, "Neither my family nor Zhang Lei's family knows the real reason for my divorce. I only said that we had incompatibility. Since we're divorced, I don't want to publicize their shameful affairs. There's no point in doing so. Why would you publicize someone's past when you've already separated?

Divorced, there's no relationship left, so there's no need to talk about it anymore. As for why I'm telling you today, it's because I've decided to accept you and live with you."

I know you really want to know the real reason for my divorce, and I know you'll feel uneasy if I don't tell you. But I don't want you to talk about it with anyone else, and there's no need for you to tell anyone.” Tan Qihao said, “You're so kind. If you don't want me to tell you, I definitely won't.” Liu Yan said, “Now that you know the reason for my divorce, you should understand why I'm so cautious about remarrying. I'm really afraid of encountering someone like Zhang Lei again.” As she spoke of Zhang Lei, Liu Yan's mind still conjured up images of Ouyang Yiming, and her heart sank again. Tan Qihao said, “I would never do that. It's very immoral. Our family is considered an intellectual family, and our parents taught us these principles from a young age. Besides, I'm a teacher; I should at least fulfill my duties as a teacher. You don't need to worry about these things.” Liu Yan nodded, but in her heart, she wondered, “Ouyang Yiming's family is also considered an intellectual family, so why did she change?” Thinking about it made her feel very troubled. Liu Yan said,

“A woman who divorces over something like this will care about it for the rest of her life.” Actually, my marriage to Zhang Lei was arranged, or rather, planned, by my mother. To be honest, I was very unwilling to marry Zhang Lei, but I had no choice. So, I also resent my family's interference in my remarriage, and I think you can understand that.” Tan Qihao said,

“I understand, I understand.” He paused and said, “Liu Yan, if you really don’t want to meet my parents, then don’t. We can get married here.” Liu Yan said, “Since I can accept you, and you have accepted me in your heart, I think I won’t be swayed by my family’s opinions anymore. I should still meet your family before the wedding, otherwise it would be disrespectful to the elders. But I think we’ve both been married before, there’s no need for a big wedding. We can just get the marriage certificate and invite some friends and family for a gathering, don’t you think?” Tan Qihao said, “I’ll listen to you, whatever you say goes.” Liu Yan was still trembling when she talked about marriage. Tan Qihao then asked, “Liu Yan, can I meet your parents soon?” Liu Yan hesitated for a moment and said, "Let's wait a while. "

Liu Yan herself wasn't sure why, since she was willing to accept Tan Qihao, she wanted him to meet her parents later. Her face flushed slightly. Tan Qihao said, "That's fine then." Liu Yan thought for a moment and said, "This summer vacation, I'll go back to Xi'an with you to meet your family. It's something we should do eventually." Tan Qihao was overjoyed and said, "Great! Bring the child along." Liu Yan looked at him and asked, "Is it appropriate to bring the child?" Tan Qihao said, "What's inappropriate about it? Our family already knows you have a child with you." Liu Yan nodded, thinking to herself, "I really want to see how your family treats my child!

" But a moment later, Tan Qihao brought up this question: "Liu Yan, you're the child's guardian now, right?" Liu Yan said, "Yes." Tan Qihao said, "After he turns eighteen, he'll be independent. Have you considered having him meet his biological father after he becomes an adult?" Liu Yan's heart skipped a beat. She understood that Tan Qihao meant Ru Han's biological father was Zhang Lei. She said, "That's impossible. I will never let him acknowledge Zhang Lei as his father." She thought to herself, Zhang Lei isn't Ru Han's biological father at all, how could Ru Han possibly acknowledge him?

Tan Qihao said, "Even if you don't want the child to acknowledge his father, he might eventually do so himself. As for me, I can absolutely fulfill my responsibilities as a father, but the child will inevitably find out from others that his father is Zhang Lei. At that time, neither of us has the right to withhold the truth from the child. Even though we raised him, Zhang Lei has never fulfilled his responsibilities as a father, and we have no right to deprive the child of the right to acknowledge his biological father." Liu Yan felt a surge of anger in addition to her astonishment, saying, "Why should Zhang Lei acknowledge Ru Han as his child! He doesn't deserve it!"

Tan Qihao said, "Yes, he didn't raise him, he didn't take a single penny of child support, but the child is still his." "Liu Yan said, 'Even if he offers child support, I won't take it. This child has nothing to do with him.' Tan Qihao was about to say something more when Liu Yan said impatiently, 'Alright, stop talking.' Tan Qihao glanced at her and then fell silent."

Liu Yan hadn't considered the issue Tan Qihao raised. "Yes, in people's minds, Ru Han is Zhang Lei's biological son. When Ru Han grows up, he'll inevitably hear people talk about it. Just as Tan Qihao said, Ru Han will definitely know that Tan Qihao isn't his biological father when he grows up. No matter what Ouyang Yiming has become, Ru Han is still Ouyang Yiming's biological son. But what if Ru Han grows up and insists that Zhang Lei is his biological father? Should we reveal now that Ru Han is Ouyang Yiming's son?" At this moment, Liu Yan felt extremely flustered. She had never thought of this before, but now she had to. Her mind was a jumbled mess, and she couldn't make sense of anything. She felt incredibly agitated.

Tan Qihao watched Liu Yan frowning in thought and secretly blamed himself for bringing up the issue. He hadn't meant any harm; he just wanted to express his true feelings. He thought that no matter what, he would raise Ru Han as his own child, and he would never selfishly prevent Ru Han from acknowledging his biological father after he grew up. Of course, he also didn't want Liu Yan to stop him.

He and Liu Yan would definitely have children of their own in the future. It was only natural for Ru Han to acknowledge his biological father after he grew up, after all, Ru Han would never be his biological son; Zhang Lei was Ru Han's biological father. He regretted it now, thinking to himself, "Why bring this up so early? We can talk about it later." After

calming down for a while, Liu Yan thought again, "This really needs serious consideration. Ru Han might try to recognize Zhang Lei as his biological father. Zhang Lei knows Ru Han isn't his son, so even if Ru Han tries, Zhang Lei might not accept him. How could Ru Han accept that then? Even if Zhang Lei doesn't refuse, I can't let Ru Han recognize Zhang Lei as his father! So if Ru Han really wants to recognize his biological father in the future, he must recognize Ouyang Yiming. Therefore, we need to tell him the truth when Ru Han grows up. No matter what Ouyang Yiming is like, it's a fact that Ru Han is Ouyang Yiming's biological son. If Ru Han wants to recognize his biological father in the future..." I can't let him admit his mistake. Zhang Lei knows Ru Han isn't his son, and he might not acknowledge Ru Han. He might even reveal that I lied to him about Ru Han being an artificially conceived child. If Ru Han were to actually acknowledge Zhang Lei as his father later, how embarrassing would it be for Ru Han if Zhang Lei suddenly brought it up? Ru Han might not be able to accept it! It seems necessary to tell Ru Han that his father is Ouyang Yiming in the future. But when should I tell Ru Han that his biological father is Ouyang Yiming?

Thinking about this made my mind even more chaotic. I thought to myself, "I hope Ru Han won't think about acknowledging his biological father when he grows up. Maybe he won't even have such thoughts when he grows up." I was somewhat surprised that Tan Qihao suddenly brought up this question that I had never considered before. I looked at Tan Qihao without saying anything.

A moment later, she thought again, "Since Tan Qihao brought up this issue, is it necessary to tell him about Ruhan's background? If Ruhan grows up and wants to acknowledge his biological father, and Zhang Lei refuses, or even reveals that Ruhan was conceived through artificial insemination, Ruhan will still have to return to their side to find out the truth. At that point, it won't be able to hide it from Tan Qihao! And if Tan Qihao brings up Ruhan's past then, what will he think of me?" She hadn't considered telling Tan Qihao this before, and now the thought left her feeling confused. After thinking for a while, she decided it was best to tell Tan Qihao everything before the wedding, to avoid embarrassment if Ruhan were to acknowledge his father later, to avoid difficulty explaining things to Tan Qihao, and to avoid feeling uneasy about this matter after marriage. If he minds this, or minds that she had been with two men, breaking up now wouldn't be too regrettable.

Once Liu Yan made up her mind, she couldn't control herself. She turned to look at Tan Qihao and said, "Tonight, I want to tell you everything." Tan Qihao paused, looking at her with a puzzled expression, and asked, "Hands out?" Liu Yan said, "I want to tell you everything about my life so that I can feel at ease living with you in the future. Of course, after I tell you everything, you should also weigh it in your heart. If you can't accept it, just say so. It's not too late now." Tan Qihao became a little nervous after hearing this and said, "Then, then tell me." Liu Yan was silent for a moment and said,

"I only told you part of my marriage just now. Actually, my marriage is quite complicated." Tan Qihao looked at her nervously and said "Oh." Liu Yan said, "Not many people know about my story. Even Zhang Lei only knows a little bit." Tan Qihao swallowed and nodded without saying anything. Liu Yan said, "My mother knew about this back then, and it was my mother's knowledge that led to my marriage with Zhang Lei." Tan Qihao nodded again. Liu Yan said, "Actually, that's about all I have to say about my story. It's complicated, but also very simple."

At this moment, Liu Yan felt hesitant to speak. Tan Qihao, sensing her anxiety, remained silent, his thirsty eyes fixed on her. Liu Yan sighed and said, "

This is my deepest pain, something I don't want to tell anyone." Liu Yan felt a deep sadness; she truly didn't want to talk about these things. But since she had already brought it up, she had to say it. So she said, "Actually, Zhang Lei wasn't my first man." Tan Qihao gasped, his mouth agape. Liu Yan looked at him and continued, "When I was working at the military hospital, I dated someone. He was a student at a prestigious university in Nanjing. He was a very good person back then, incredibly handsome and mature. When we first met, we both fell for each other for some reason; perhaps, perhaps it was love at first sight!"

Liu Yan couldn't help but feel emotional when she spoke of Ouyang Yiming in front of Tan Qihao, still reminiscing about the Ouyang Yiming of that time. Tan Qihao remained silent. Liu Yan said, "We were in love for over a year, and our feelings were very deep." This time, Tan Qihao nodded. Liu Yan said, "Later, because my mother hoped I could transfer to their side, and also because I selfishly hoped he could settle down here, I transferred here. At that time, he was already a junior, and he would graduate in another year. I also had the idea of arranging a good job for him here before he graduated, through my parents' connections. I waited for him with high hopes, hoping that we would be together after he graduated, but in the end, it didn't happen." As she spoke, Liu Yan shed tears, paused, and continued, "After being transferred back here, I was assigned to the club, and it was not long after that that I got in touch with Zhang Lei, my brother's childhood friend. At that time, he was in the Joint Logistics Department here, and he often came to my office. I knew he was interested in me, but I had someone in my heart, so I pretended not to know his feelings. Later, one of my female soldiers asked Zhang Lei for help with getting into the training team. After it was done, the soldier invited Zhang Lei and me to dinner, and that night, Zhang Lei raped me. Later, when I divorced Zhang Lei, I finally found out everything. It turned out that Zhang Lei had already had that kind of relationship with that soldier, and what happened that night was a conspiracy between them to harm me." "This is something I never expected, never imagined," Liu Yan said, her heart aching, and she couldn't help but sob. At that moment, she desperately wanted Tan Qihao to comfort her, even hoping he would hold her in his arms. But Tan Qihao remained silent and made no move, leaving Liu Yan feeling disappointed.

Tan Qihao asked, "So you broke off your relationship with that college student after that?" Liu Yan wiped away her tears and said, "After that, I thought about reporting Zhang Lei. But I was afraid that if it got out, my boyfriend in Jinling would find out, so I held back. But I did warn Zhang Lei. Later, my mother noticed I was upset and asked what was wrong. I couldn't help but tell her about Zhang Lei raping me, and I also told her about my boyfriend. I never thought my mother would really look down on my boyfriend's family. Oh, right, his parents are both middle school teachers. You know Zhang Lei's family; of course, my mother wanted me to marry Zhang Lei. Later, my mother and Zhang Lei put pressure on me, and I accepted Zhang Lei only because I had no other choice. But even though I accepted him, my heart wasn't with him." So, so I want to get revenge on him. Before my wedding, I went to Nanjing, and that's when I had sex with my boyfriend, and then we broke up. The reason I'm telling you all this is to tell you that Ruhan isn't Zhang Lei's child, but my child with my boyfriend." Tan Qihao was stunned after hearing this, remaining silent for a long time.

Liu Yan looked at Tan Qihao's expression and knew that he still cared about these things. Perhaps he couldn't accept it right now. But at this moment, she didn't want to care what Tan Qihao was thinking, and after thinking for a moment, she continued, "To be honest, I've never forgotten him. I couldn't forget him when I was living with Zhang Lei, and I missed him even more after divorcing Zhang Lei. Even after I met you, he's still on my mind."

Tan Qihao trembled upon hearing Liu Yan's words. Liu Yan said, "I have no reason to hide this from you. It's just how it is. I can't forget him. Even knowing he's married, even knowing that I can never have anything to do with him again in this life, I still can't forget him. It's involuntary. That's why I can't always give you an answer—because he's still in my heart.

Even when I'm with you, I use him as

the standard." As Liu Yan spoke, she glanced at Tan Qihao from time to time. Seeing him sitting there with his head bowed and looking blank, she felt uneasy but still continued, "Later, he married his college classmate. His wife is very beautiful, extremely beautiful. She visited him when he was hospitalized. At that time, he had no relationship with his current wife, but he knew that his female classmate loved him. But he still gave his love to me. After we separated, they naturally got together. They are a very well-matched couple."

Tan Qihao looked up after hearing this. In Liu Yan's words, Tan Qihao even felt the fear of losing her. Then he asked, "He...he's married?" Liu Yan nodded and said, "He's been married for a few years. But I didn't know it myself; my comrade-in-arms told me. We haven't had any contact since we broke up. He's very successful in his career; he was already the vice president of a research institute a couple of years ago."

Tan Qihao said "Oh" and stared blankly at her. Liu Yan glanced at him and continued, "But people can easily turn bad once they gain power, which I never expected." At this point, Liu Yan's eyes reddened. She closed her eyes painfully for a moment, then opened them again, saying, "I never thought he would change. I really can't accept it. My comrade told me that he saw him in Hangzhou recently, with a woman, but that woman wasn't his wife; she was his mistress. He's changed, become as shameless as Zhang Lei. Now I have lost all goodwill towards him. Although he's not my husband, I'm ashamed that he betrayed his wife, and even more ashamed that he's Ru Han's biological father. I don't want Ru Han to ever recognize him as his father again. I don't want Ru Han's father to be like this. You mentioned earlier that Ru Han might think about recognizing his father when he grows up, which is why I said all this. Zhang Lei and he shouldn't be Ru Han's fathers; they don't deserve it!"

Tears streamed down Liu Yan's face as she spoke.

Tan Qihao said, "I was just saying it casually." Liu Yan said, "I never thought about these things before. It's a good thing you said it casually. I really didn't expect Ruhan to recognize his biological father when he grew up. Now you know Ruhan's background and everything about me. If you don't mind, we can live together from now on, and you'll have a better understanding of Ruhan's future relationship with his father. I feel at ease knowing everything about me. If you can't accept it, just say so, and I won't force you."

Tan Qihao didn't speak. Although he felt heartbroken about Liu Yan's situation, he was extremely surprised and even disgusted that Liu Yan had secretly become pregnant with her lover's child before marrying Zhang Lei.

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