Thinking back to those days when my spring clothes were so thin (reprinted)

1. "Guess who I am?" As I racked my brains for a perfume ad copy, a pair of soft, delicate hands covered my eyes from behind. Startled, I dropped the pen I was twirling and instinctively tried to stand up. Then, hearing that sweet, cloying voice, I knew who it was. "Stop it, Xiao Rou, what time is it? Why aren't you asleep?" I reached out to pry her hands away. "I'm not Xiao Rou." "Then who are you?" "Guess!" "I don't want to." "Oh dear~~ I don't care! You have to guess!" Xiao Rou said coquettishly. "Okay, then I'll guess, you are~~ Vivian Chow!" "Hehe~ No, no!" "Then you are~~ Xiao Qiang!" "Wrong again!" "Ha! Bing! I know, you are~~ Grandma Api!" "Ugh! How annoying! Am I that old?" Xiao Rou pushed my head and plopped down on the edge of my bed. I turned around and saw her rolling her eyes and pouting. It was hot, so she was only wearing a loose t-shirt, her chest bulging high, and her shapely, fair legs were completely exposed. A small patch of white cotton fabric could be vaguely seen where her legs met. She wore light green slippers, and her calves were dangling along the edge of the bed. Wow! I exclaimed in amazement at how well-nourished girls are these days! They're all so well-developed! Then I realized that staring at her like that was a bit too blatant! Xiao Rou seemed to notice my gaze and crossed her legs, her lips pouting even more. "Hey! Where are you looking?!" "I'm looking... I'm looking at how our little Rou Rou has grown up!" Xiao Rou rolled her eyes at me again, but a smile appeared on her lips. "Am I pretty?" "Pretty? Compared to you, Zhou Huimin and Xiao Qiang are nothing!" "I knew Xiao Ban was the best to me." She happily rushed up and hugged me, pecking my cheek. I could clearly feel her two soft mounds pressing against my back. A surge of heat rushed from my lower abdomen to my head. I think I must have blushed, because I saw a teasing smile on Xiao Rou's face, her big, clear eyes blinking mischievously at me. Sigh! Silly Xiao Rou, she doesn't know how much of a shock such a small gesture is to a 28-year-old single man! "You came dressed like this?" I tried to distract her. "It's hot!" "Aren't you afraid someone will see you?!" "Others? Are there any other people around here?" That's true, our house is in the far suburbs, and the nearest neighbor is 80 meters away. "Okay, enough fooling around, I'm going back to sleep, goodnight!" With that, she left my room without looking back. Sigh! This is Xiaorou, my little cousin, a spoiled brat. We live across from my uncle's house on land left by my grandfather. After my dad and uncle separated their households, they didn't move out. They agreed to build separate houses, but connected the balconies on the fourth floor so that the downstairs neighbors could get shade in the summer.(This is also why Xiaorou can sneak over every day.) I am the youngest with three older brothers, but my uncle only has one daughter, Xiaorou. Because of late marriage, Xiaorou and I are 10 years apart. From a young age, Xiaorou was spoiled because she was the only girl in both families. I spoiled her the most. Perhaps she made me feel the sense of accomplishment as an older brother! Or perhaps she was just born too late? Back then, my brothers were either studying away from home or suffering from nervous breakdowns due to the pressure of college entrance exams, so they didn't have much time to care for her. Therefore, besides my aunt, I was her only playmate since childhood. When she started school, I was ordered to take on the responsibility of "protecting the flower," and I was always very competent. Whenever she was bullied by her classmates, I could always teach those little bastards a lesson until they cried. In recent years, my three brothers have immigrated one after another, and my mother went to the United States with my eldest brother. Only my father still travels between mainland China and Taiwan frequently because of his factory work. I am almost always the only one at home. Although Xiao Rou has been spoiled since childhood, besides being very affectionate, she is also very well-behaved and considerate. Over the years, she was probably afraid that I would be lonely, so she would always come to my room after she finished school and make a fuss before going back to sleep. In my memory, Xiao Rou is still that little girl in a white shirt and blue skirt, wearing an orange school cap, who would grab people's hands and act cute on her first day of school. I never expected that tonight, I would realize that she has grown into a beautiful young woman. I watched as Xiaorou was about to step over the railing, lifting her leg to reveal her round buttocks covered by white cotton underwear. Suddenly, I felt a stirring in my groin. I quickly looked away. What was I doing? She's my sister! I turned my attention back to the document, but couldn't help glancing over again. Xiaorou had already swayed into her room. I tidied up the paper. That's enough for today! I turned off the light and was about to go to bed when the phone rang. "Hello, Mingwei?" A soft voice came through the receiver. "Xiaofeng? So late? What's wrong?" "………………" After a few seconds of silence on the other end, soft sobs began. "Xiaofeng! What's wrong? Don't cry!" "………………" Xiaofeng just kept crying. "What happened? Come on, tell me slowly." After a few minutes, Xiaofeng stopped crying and said, "Are you free tomorrow? It's been so long since we last met, can we meet up?" "Sure, when?" After arranging a time and place with Xiaofeng, I lay back on my bed, thinking about my old classmate, Xiaofeng, my heart filled with mixed emotions. Xiaofeng and I really are old classmates in every sense of the word. We went to the same school from elementary school to university, played together as children, and remained close friends in high school. It wasn't until university that, because we spent so much time together, we were naturally categorized as a class couple, and we naturally became a couple. Xiaofeng wasn't the prettiest in the department, but her figure was the most outstanding, earning her the nickname "Nurse." Although she was always surrounded by suitors, she seemed determined to be with me, showing no interest in the others. At that time, I thought, "She's the one," so I wasn't in a rush. We both loved literature and believed that love should be beautiful, pure, and without any impurities. So, over four years, besides holding hands, kissing, and hugging, we didn't do much else. After graduation, I went to work at an advertising company, and she went to work at a magazine. We were both busy, and when we occasionally met, it was just a quick meal and a chat about work. As time went on, it felt like we had fewer and fewer things to talk about. Plus, we were both focused on our work, trying to achieve good results. Gradually, our feelings seemed to fade. The last time we met was over two weeks ago. I vaguely heard her mention someone pursuing her. I wasn't too concerned. After all these years in university, I was pretty much convinced that marriage was just a matter of time."Oh? This phone call was a bit abrupt, never mind, I'll talk about it tomorrow!" Entering the restaurant, I immediately saw Xiaofeng sitting alone, looking lost in thought. I went over and sat down, waking her from her reverie. "Is something wrong?" "…………" She didn't speak again. "What's wrong? You seem strange." Xiaofeng slowly took out a wedding invitation from her purse. I took it and opened it, thinking to myself, I hadn't heard of any classmates or friends getting married recently. When I opened it, it clearly showed Xiaofeng's name and that of a man I didn't recognize. I looked up at Xiaofeng in disbelief. "I…I'm getting married," Xiaofeng said softly. "What…" I realized my voice was unusually loud and quickly lowered my voice. "Are you kidding me?!" "…………" Xiaofeng said quietly, "I'm conflicted too, but Mingwei, have you noticed that our relationship has faded a lot since graduation? I've been hesitating whether we should continue…" "That's because we're both busy!" I interrupted her. “I know, I know you’ve always wanted to achieve something in your career, but… but Mingwei, I’m not young anymore, my family keeps pressuring me to get married, he… he’s really good to me, I can’t help it…” “You could have told me!” “I’ve told you more than once, but you don’t seem to care. I doubt if you really care about our relationship…” “I do care, Xiaofeng, I swear I really do care…” “It’s too late.” Xiaofeng slowly shook her head. “I… I’m pregnant… my family knows… Mingwei, it’s too late, we can’t go back…” “Who?” I heard my throat struggle to utter a sound, but then I started to feel dizzy. “He’s our boss’s youngest son, I told you…” I couldn’t hear what Xiaofeng was saying after that. I only saw her deliberately made-up red lips moving. I felt dizzy… I don’t know how I got home. When I woke up, I was already in my bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Xiaorou diligently mopping the floor. Manuscripts and books were scattered all over the desk. I tried to turn over, but I felt like my whole body was falling apart, I couldn’t muster any strength. My mouth was bitter and dry, and my head was splitting. I couldn’t help but groan. Xiaorou heard my voice, dropped the mop, came to my bedside, and looked down at me. “Brother, you’re awake?” “I… what happened to me?” I asked her blankly. "You're still asking!" Xiaorou, hands on her hips and cheeks puffed out, said, "Do you know? You got drunk last night, crying and making a scene, throwing up all over the place, it was filthy, and... and you were yelling and shouting at people, so fierce!" "Really? I'm sorry, Xiaorou, I don't remember at all." "You forget so quickly! Uncle was furious with you, saying you've never been like this before, you must have made some bad friends." "Xiaorou, can I have a glass of water?" "No way!" Xiaorou said, but got out of bed and picked up the water from the desk, clearly having prepared it beforehand. "Uncle wants you to call him when you wake up, what's wrong with you?" "Don't you have class today?" "It's Sunday, what class? I think you're just drunk." She handed me the water. I tried to get up, but I had no strength at all. Xiaorou sighed, held my head, and fed me water. I rested my head on her soft body, but Xiaofeng's image kept appearing in my mind. After I finished the water, Xiaorou brought her face close to mine again. "Tell me! What happened?" "Xiaorou, I'm so tired, can I rest for a bit?" "No! You have to explain!" "Sigh...!" I sighed deeply. "Xiaofeng is getting married..." "Sister Xiaofeng? Isn't that great?" Xiaorou looked puzzled. I smiled bitterly and said, "Xiaofeng is getting married, but the groom isn't me." "How is that possible?" Xiaorou's eyes widened. "Why?" "I don't know." "How could Sister Xiaofeng do this!" "It's not her fault, it's all my fault. I neglected her too much." "Oh! Poor brother, your heart must be broken." Xiaorou pulled my head into her soft embrace, her long hair brushing against my face. Sigh! If Xiaorou were Xiaofeng instead of Xiaorou at this moment, how wonderful that would be. After Xiaofeng got married, to escape the pain in my heart, I threw myself into my work even more. At night, I could only numb myself with alcohol, and Xiaorou still came to my room every night, and in my drunken haze, she would help me fall asleep before leaving with a sigh. Several times I seemed to see Xiao Feng's shadow in her; I almost thought she was Xiao Feng's incarnation. But when I rubbed my eyes and saw clearly, she was actually my beautiful, youthful, and affectionate little sister. I pushed her away and rushed into the bathroom to vomit uncontrollably. That night, I got drunk again and stumbled back to my room. Xiao Rou was asleep at her desk. I closed the door, let out a burp reeking of alcohol, and mischievously pinched her nose. Seeing Xiao Rou slowly open her eyes, I sat back on the bed and smiled at her. Suddenly, Xiao Rou got up and tackled me onto the bed. "Xiao Rou! What are you doing?" I was startled awake by her action. "Get up!" I helped Xiao Rou up, only to see two lines of tears on her cheeks. "Brother, please don't do this!" "What's wrong?!" "Brother, do you know how sad it makes me?" "Xiao Rou, be good, Xiao Rou, don't cry, don't cry! Pretending to be your brother is great!" "Don't lie to me. Xiao Rou isn't a child anymore. I know you've been abusing yourself since Sister Xiao Feng got married. You never used to drink like this. Seeing you so sad hurts my heart, you know?" Xiao Rou took a step back, took a deep breath, and said, "Brother, I've thought about this for a long time. Since Sister Xiao Feng can't love you anymore, then let Xiao Rou love you properly!" She slowly raised her hand and began to unbutton her pajamas. I saw her clothes gradually open, revealing her white bra. I sobered up completely. I quickly grabbed her hand. "Xiaorou, what are you doing?" "Brother, Xiaorou likes you, I..." I reached out and covered her lips. "Brother likes you too! But I'm your brother! Do you know what you're doing?" "Of course I know, I'm 18 years old, do you still think I'm a child?" Xiaorou broke free from my hand and hugged me tightly. I felt her young, soft, and elastic breasts pressed tightly against my chest, and I smelled the fragrance of a young girl. I felt my rationality crumbling little by little, while the feeling between my legs was rising little by little. I almost put my palm on her breasts, but I pushed her away and took a deep breath. “Xiaorou, listen to me, this won’t do. We’re siblings, right? Your brother likes you a lot, really, I really like my pretty and thoughtful little sister. But, this won’t do…” “I knew it!” Xiaorou pushed me away fiercely. “I know you don’t like me at all. You’re so nice to me only because I’m your sister. That’s why you tolerate my pranks and my antics. Do you know that? I do this because I want you to pay more attention to me. I’ve liked you since I was little, don’t you know that? You like Sister Xiaofeng, but does Sister Xiaofeng like you? She’s married someone else, hasn’t she? Can she care for you like I do?” After Xiaorou finished speaking, she ran out of my room without looking back. I couldn’t stop her in time and could only slump down on the edge of the bed, murmuring, “Xiaorou, no, it’s not like that.” I haven’t been home for almost two weeks. I’m really afraid to face Xiaorou again. I’m afraid to see that resentful look in her eyes when she left that night. During this time, I went to the hotel every day, venting my frustrations among those complete strangers. The owner clearly sensed something was wrong with me and said, "I don't know what happened to you. Maybe you're just too tired. Go take a break and come back later." So I obediently took half a month off. That night, I was still drinking and partying at the hotel when my pager suddenly rang. I looked at it and saw it was a call from home. My dad had gone to the mainland the day before yesterday. Only Xiaorou would call me. Something must have happened! I rushed home and found Xiaorou sitting alone in the living room, lost in thought. Seeing me frantically push open the door, she stood up and said, "Mom and Dad went to the mainland to check on the factory. I've been home alone these past two days. I'm so scared. I know my brother hates me, but... I'm really scared..." Looking at her pitiful appearance, I couldn't help but step forward and hug her. "Xiao Rou, I'm sorry, it's all my fault!" Xiao Rou lifted her face in my arms. "Brother, kiss me!" I looked at her bright eyes, glistening with tears, and smelled that unique fragrance in my nose. A wave of alcohol washed over me, and my reason completely crumbled... I kissed away the tears on Xiao Rou's cheeks. She slowly closed her eyes, and I gently pressed my lips to her warm, soft lips. She returned my kiss with even more passion. I gently placed one hand on her breast, slowly caressing it, while my other hand encircled her soft, boneless waist, gently laying her down on the sofa. I used my tongue to part her slightly parted lips, searching, our tongues intertwining in our tightly pressed mouths. My hands roamed restlessly over her body, I could feel her frantic heartbeat transmitted through her bra and blouse to my warm palms. I slowly pulled open her blouse, revealing a white bra underneath, and I caressed her breasts through it. "Mmm..." Xiaorou exhaled a warm breath, her eyes still closed, which only intensified my desire. I pulled away from Xiaorou's lips and slowly unhooked her bra, revealing before my eyes...It was the small, delicate breasts of a young girl. Two tiny nipples on her pink areolas seemed to be calling to me. Xiaorou's skin was so fair and clean; I could see the fine veins running through her breasts. I was almost stunned. Seeing that I hadn't moved for a while, Xiaorou slowly opened her eyes and softly called out, "Brother?" "Xiaorou, you're so beautiful," I murmured, gazing at the beautiful girl before me, completely forgetting that she was my cousin. "Brother, I love you! From a long, long time ago." "Xiaorou, me too," I kissed her lips again, my hands gently caressing her breasts. They weren't large enough to hold in one hand, but they were full of elasticity. My lips traced her jawline, neck, and chest, licking her cleavage. As I moved down her breasts to her nipples, she shifted restlessly, her breath quickening. My tongue deftly moved up and down her nipples, then circled her areolas, gradually decreasing in size. When I gently took her swollen, hardened nipple into my mouth, she couldn't help but cry out, "Ahhhhhh!" My tongue continued its downward search, gliding over her abdomen and navel. My hands smoothly pulled down her skirt, and Xiaorou clamped her legs tightly together. "Brother, I'm so scared," Xiaorou suddenly said, but I couldn't decipher the meaning behind her words; lust had already overwhelmed me. "Xiaorou, don't be afraid, come on, relax." I gently pulled Xiaorou's legs apart, and I saw that the triangle area that was often vaguely visible before my eyes was gradually becoming damp. Xiaorou shyly turned her body over, and before my eyes were those two pink buttocks that were always covered by her panties. Suddenly, I grabbed those two mounds of flesh and started kissing and biting them wildly. Xiaorou said anxiously, "Brother, be gentle, you're biting me so hard!" So I forcefully pulled off her panties, turned her over so that she was facing me, and when I saw... When I reached Xiaorou's sparsely haired pubic triangle, I went completely mad. I quickly stripped off all my clothes, leaving only my underwear, and knelt down on Xiaorou, kissing every inch of her beautiful skin. My penis rubbed back and forth against Xiaorou's round, soft thighs, and my already hard penis swelled even more painfully. I sucked hard on Xiaorou's nipples, and she seemed to go crazy too, only softly calling out, "Brother, brother~" I grabbed Xiaorou's hand and placed it on my penis, and Xiaorou let out a soft cry. "Brother, hello~" she said, her already slightly flushed face becoming even more shy. "Xiaorou, are you scared?" "No, I love you, brother, I'm not scared." I simply took off my underwear, and the two of us were now naked. I guided Xiaorou's hand to my penis again and taught her to rub it back and forth. Xiaorou's palm was soft and warm, and I could feel the blood in my penis about to burst out. Xiaorou seemed to sense the intense change in her hand, opened her eyes and peeked, then closed them tightly again. "Brother, you're so hard, so hot!" "That's because Xiaorou is so charming!" "I feel so itchy, so strange, I can't explain it, my whole body feels weird." I leaned down and gently kissed her, from her breasts, navel, clitoris, to the mysterious meeting place at the base of her thighs. I opened Xiaorou's tightly clamped legs, and the pink path was already flowing with moisture, while the closed palace gate exuded a bewitching heat. I couldn't help but bring my mouth to it, and Xiaorou twisted her body restlessly. "Ah... Brother, this feels so strange..." My fingers opened the door, revealing the most beautiful scene in the world before me—the most delicate, mysterious, and untouched part of a young girl's body. I extended my tongue and gently licked it back and forth. "Ah..." Suddenly, Xiao Rou cried out, her buttocks rising and twisting violently. Her two smooth thighs tightly gripped my neck. I looked up and saw Xiao Rou's lips slightly parted, her nostrils flaring as she breathed heavily. Her fair breasts trembled with the rise and fall of her chest, forming waves. I couldn't resist any longer. I picked Xiao Rou up and lifted her up, letting her legs wrap around my waist, and walked towards the room. My erect penis poked at Xiao Rou's buttocks with each step. Xiao Rou laughed at the sensation, "Haha, it's so itchy!" Her small breasts trembled with each laugh. I couldn't resist taking one of her breasts into my mouth, my tongue sweeping wildly over her engorged and hardened nipple. "Ah..." Xiaorou's head was tilted back, her soft, black hair swaying behind her. (Ah...so comfortable, so wonderful...) Finally reaching the room, I placed Xiaorou on the bed, stepped back, and carefully admired her flawless, statuesque body. Xiaorou shyly turned her back to me, trying to escape my beast-like gaze. "Xiaorou..." I sighed softly. Her skin was so translucent, her lines so perfect, without an ounce of excess fat. It was the unique physique of a young girl. I pounced on her like a hungry tiger, using my knee to pry open her legs. "Xiaorou..." I gently breathed into her ear, about to breach her last line of defense. "Ah! It hurts!" I had only just entered a little when Xiaorou frowned, her muscles tensing. I quickly stopped, giving her a moment to catch her breath. I kissed her brow, her earlobe, her lips, my hands slowly caressing her back and the inside of her thighs. After a while, Xiaorou slowly breathed a sigh of relief, her whole body relaxing. She kissed me proactively, saying, "It's okay, I can..." I continued to suck on her snake-like tongue, gently and softly pushing forward. "Mmm..." Xiaorou couldn't help but moan, but she no longer stopped my movements. Finally, I entered Xiaorou's body. I could feel the path ahead was narrow and tight, yet filled with a warm and moist sensation. The folds gently scraped against my glans. After entering, I paused slightly, partly to let Xiaorou get used to the feeling, and partly to savor the feeling of being tightly surrounded. "I... I feel so full, I know, I felt so empty just now, but now I feel so full, this feeling... so good..." Xiaorou ignored my reaction and murmured to herself. So I began to move, trying to make each stroke gentle and slow, afraid that if it was too fast, Xiaorou wouldn't be able to handle it. "Mmm... mmm..." At first, Xiaorou kept her lips tightly closed, but gradually she began to moan again, so I increased the speed and depth of my movements slightly. Suddenly, Xiaorou wrapped her arms around my waist, opened her mouth but couldn't make a sound, and her gaze, which had been so affectionate, began to wander aimlessly. Then, Xiaorou began to writhe inside me, her breathing became rapid and frantic, and my pleasure quickly rose to its peak with that contracting force. Finally, I exhaled a long breath, lay down on Xiaorou, and continued to feel her uncontrollable contractions and releases. Xiaorou slowly closed her eyes, her breathing calmed down, and I pulled away from her, gently kissing her and caressing her breasts that rose and fell with her breath. Gradually, we both sank into a deep dream… 4 I pushed open the door to my house. The living room was filled with an eerie atmosphere, and an unusual smell permeated the air. Strange, why was the whole family here? My three older brothers and mother had returned home sometime earlier, and my uncle and aunt were also there. As I opened the door, everyone's eyes turned to me. I saw that their eyes were filled with anger, contempt, despair, and disdain, like sharp swords about to pierce my chest. "What's going on?" I asked them, puzzled. "Mingwei!" My aunt stood up and walked up to me. "How could you do this? Xiaorou is your sister! How could you do something like this?" I looked at Xiaorou. She was wearing a bathrobe and had been sitting at the top of the stairs since I entered, a half-smile on her face. Then she walked towards me, untied the belt of her bathrobe, and I was shocked to see that she wasn't wearing anything underneath. "Brother, I'm pregnant! Look, this is the fruit of our love!" I looked at where her hand was. Good heavens! When did Xiaorou's belly swell up, stretching her once smooth belly into a small hill? "This... I..." My tongue was tied in knots, and I couldn't utter a word. "What kind of world is this!" my aunt screamed, glaring at me through gritted teeth. "You know Xiaorou is our precious darling. We've always asked you to take good care of her since she was little, but we never asked you to get her pregnant! You, you're a devil, a beast..." "..." I desperately wanted to explain, but could only shake my head in fear, looking at everyone in the room. My aunt kept wailing and screaming, my mother just wept silently, and my father kept shaking his head and sighing, saying, "What a sin, what a sin." Then my three older brothers surrounded me, interrogating me: "Xiaorou is our sister! What right do you have to possess her all by yourself? What right? If anyone's in line, you should be fourth!" Xiaorou, meanwhile, grinned and asked me what name I wanted to give the baby. I found the scene too chaotic and absurd. I turned to flee the living room, but stumbled and missed a step… I sat bolt upright in bed, realizing it was a dream. Gasping for breath, I surveyed the room. I was alone. When I saw the disheveled sheets and a small patch of congealed blood, I suddenly remembered everything from last night. Thinking about the dream, a wave of regret and self-reproach washed over me. “Oh my god!? What did I do to Xiaorou? What do I do? What do I do?” “Brother? Are you awake?” Xiaorou’s voice rang out from outside the door, startling me. “If…”"Get up and have breakfast when you're awake!" I stayed in bed for a while, deciding to face everything. After thinking about what to say, I washed up, pushed open the door, and went out. Xiaorou suddenly appeared beside me and kissed me on the cheek. "Lazybones, sleeping so long!" I stared at Xiaorou. She was wearing ordinary home clothes, an apron, and her long hair was tied in a ponytail. She looked clean and refreshed. "What are you looking at!" Xiaorou pushed me. "Aren't you tired of looking at me every day? Come on! Let's have breakfast!" She pushed me into the dining room, and I was dumbfounded when I saw everything on the table: fried dough sticks, fried dumplings, poached eggs, and a pot of congee with preserved egg and lean pork. Xiaorou pressed me into a chair and deftly started preparing the food. "These are all your favorite foods, right? The fried dough sticks and sesame cakes were bought, but the rest I made!" "You..." I could hardly believe my ears. "You can make this?" "Xiao Rou looked at me with a 'you only found out today' expression. I knew you still thought of me as just a spoiled little girl. I can do so much more than that!" She placed a steaming bowl of porridge in front of me and slowly sat down opposite me. Seeing her strange gait, I couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong? Why are you walking like that?" A blush rose on Xiao Rou's fair face, even her ears turned red. She lowered her head and whispered, "I...I still hurt down there...but..." Then she looked up at me with a happy smile, "But you'll get used to it, right?" Later? Oh my god! I stared at the wisps of steam rising from the bowl, struggling to find the right words. "Eat up! It won't taste good when it gets cold!" I picked up the bowl, took a bite, and found it tasteless. "Is it good? Is it too salty?" Xiao Rou asked with concern, looking at my expressionless face. "It shouldn't be, right?" "I've tried it several times already..." she muttered to herself, serving herself a bowl and taking a bite. "I think it's okay. If you think it's too salty, I'll put less salt next time!" Good heavens! She was acting like a submissive wife towards her husband. How could I possibly say that? I really didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Brother? What are you thinking about?" "Me? I was thinking about work. What did you just say?" "Ugh, so annoying! You're not focused at all! I said I took the day off to rest at home. Can you take the day off too and come with me?" "Maybe not? I have a very important meeting today. Can I come home early?" "Hmm..." Xiaorou bit her little finger, tilted her head, and thought for a moment. "Okay! I've made up my mind. Starting today, I won't be willful anymore. You go to work obediently. What do you want to eat tonight? I'll prepare it." "Ugh! I'm in big trouble." Xiaorou... I... I think... I have something to tell you..." I stammered, trying to organize my thoughts. "Mom and Dad and Uncle won't know!" Xiaorou suddenly looked serious. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. This is our little secret. I'm content and happy as long as every day can be like this." "But..." "Hurry up and eat! We're going to be late!" Xiao Rou's smile vanished. She ate her porridge in small bites. I could only silently repeat in my heart, "Xiao Rou, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I left the house as if escaping a plague. Actually, there was no meeting scheduled for today; I was still on holiday. All day, I wandered the noisy streets like a lost soul. I couldn't think straight. Just thinking of Xiao Rou made my heart clench with anxiety. I really didn't want to hurt her, but not saying anything would only cause her more pain. All day, I struggled with this contradiction until dusk, when the neon lights and car headlights filled the streets, and I still couldn't make up my mind. When I got home, the house was filled with the aroma of food, and the sound of spatulas clattering came from the kitchen. I strolled into the kitchen, where Xiao Rou was busy working, sweating profusely. When she turned around and saw me, she was startled. "How annoying! You came back without a sound, you scared me!" She pretended to hit me with the spatula, and I quickly begged for mercy. "Go wash your hands, dinner's ready!" "After dinner, we sat together in the living room watching TV. Xiaorou leaned on my shoulder, but neither of us paid attention to the plot, each lost in our own thoughts. 'Brother, do you remember Guo Qingru?' Xiaorou broke the silence. I thought for a moment; it was an unfamiliar name. I shook my head. 'He was my classmate in elementary school! Do you remember that time you beat him up for me, and his mother complained, causing you to get beaten by your uncle?' I remembered. That was the only time I ever got a beating from my dad. That time, as usual, I went to pick Xiaorou up from the elementary school next to my school after class, only to find her surrounded by two or three boys, crying helplessly. The boys were clapping and mocking her, saying, 'Crybaby, drink cold water…' One of them even reached out to lift Xiaorou's skirt, saying, 'Wow! It's white! Take it off and give it to me as a souvenir, okay?' Then he turned to his companion and said, 'I heard that the hole in a girl's private parts is for a boy's penis to go in! Don't you think so?'" "He kept chasing Xiaorou, cornering her against the wall and saying, 'Let me try, okay?' I was furious. I went over, pulled him away, and punched him hard in the face with all my might. He fell down, clutching his nose. The other two scattered like birds. I went over and kicked him twice more before taking Xiaorou home. Not long after, the boy's mother came to my house, demanding an explanation. She heard I had broken his nose. My dad asked why I hit him. I just said he deserved it for bullying Xiaorou. My dad asked how he bullied Xiaorou, but I refused to say. His mother kept demanding an explanation, threatening to report me to the school. My dad first promised to cover all the medical expenses, and then, after confirming I wouldn't reveal the reason, he gave her an explanation. I stayed with that kid in bed for three days." "How could I forget?" I smiled and said, "So that brat's name is Guo Qingru?" "Ha! You've hurt him so badly and you still don't know his name?" "Actually, I was too impulsive." "No, that's not it!" "You did this to protect me when I was being bullied! From that time on, the whole class knew I had a powerful older brother, and no one dared to bully me anymore!" Xiaorou said gently. "And from that time on, my brother's image has always been in my heart... I once... I once swore that I would be good to my brother for the rest of my life, and I hoped that my brother would always be this good to me. I often see TV dramas that say you can win a man's heart by winning his stomach, so I learned to cook many of my brother's favorite dishes from my mother. My mother always asks me why I learned to cook these dishes, but I didn't dare to say..." Sigh... I really didn't know whether to cry or laugh. "Silly Xiaorou," I pinched her nose, "I'm your brother, of course I will be good to you for the rest of my life!" “But that’s not enough, Xiaorou hopes… hopes…” Her voice trailed off, barely a whisper. “I really hope you can be as good to me as you were last night. Xiaorou feels so happy, so content…” I mentally slapped myself. It was all the alcohol’s fault. In the days that followed, I could only go along with Xiaorou, becoming her secret husband. Sometimes, my aunt would see how enthusiastic she was about housework and would laugh, saying, “That’s good, practice more so you won’t be disliked by your in-laws for not being good at housework when you get married.” I could only manage a bitter smile. I was always worried about the aftereffects of not using any protection that night. One day, I couldn’t help but ask Xiaorou, “Did you… did you get your period?” “What do you mean?” Xiaorou was completely confused by my question. “You know… that… big… oh! Did you get your period?” Xiaorou was startled, her face flushed. “Ugh, why are you asking me this?” “I… last time…” “Don’t worry, I’m perfectly normal.” "I felt like a fool. Often, when Xiaorou came over late at night, she would intentionally or unintentionally arouse my desire. I knew clearly that if this continued, one day, our world, even our two families, would be destroyed. But when Xiaorou gently kissed me, when she untied her clothes one by one before my eyes, when I saw her increasingly mature and voluptuous body, when my hands gently glided over her jade-like skin, her youthful and firm breasts, her pink and tender vulva, when I frantically entered and exited her body, my reason swayed in waves of lust, finally succumbing. I felt a demon within me, coldly watching my descent into depravity. At each peak of pleasure, I seemed to hear its contemptuous sneer. Day after day, I waited for my collapse amidst inner torment. 5 'Richard, look outside!' I was staring blankly at a bunch of swimsuit photos of beautiful women. 'Okay! Stop looking, they won't come looking for you! There's a real beauty outside, and she even has a little one to take care of her, go check it out!'" "I had absolutely no interest in such jokes. I slowly strolled to the company entrance, and then I froze. 'Xiao Feng?!' 'Hi! Long time no see!' Xiao Feng was wearing sunglasses, holding a chubby little girl with fluffy curly hair in his arms, looking like a doll. 'Rongrong, be good, call him uncle.' The little girl shyly huddled in her mother's arms. 'How old are you?' I teased the child. 'Three years old. That day, I told you that the one in my belly was her.' More than three years have passed. Time really flies. I didn't even attend her wedding back then, and afterwards, we lost contact. 'Why did you decide to come and see me?' 'I just happened to be passing by and thought it had been a long time since we'd seen each other. I wondered if you were still here?' People coming and going in the office looked at us curiously. I pulled Xiao Feng along. 'Come on, let me buy you a coffee. Do you have time?' After we sat down, I..."I carefully examined Xiaofeng, trying to see how much she had changed over the years. Suddenly, I noticed a bruise on her lip and several bandages on her hand. I realized why she was wearing sunglasses. "What happened? These injuries?" "Nothing!" She pouted. "I bumped into something by accident." "You wouldn't bump into something like this by accident. Did he hit you?" Her nose twitched, and she took a breath. "I'm really sorry to let an old friend see me like this." "We're more than just old friends," I corrected her. "Sigh..." She sighed deeply. "Sometimes when I think back, I regret it." I couldn't say anything, and we awkwardly stirred our coffee. "Mommy!" Rongrong called softly, pulling us back to reality. "It's time to go back." She picked up the child. "Sorry, I made you treat me to a meal today. You haven't moved, have you?" I shook my head, watching her get into a taxi and drive away. I couldn't describe the feeling in my heart. I went back to the company and stared blankly. 6 It was another night of inner turmoil. Xiaorou, slightly out of breath, asked me in confusion. "Brother, why do you always wear two condoms?" "It's to be absolutely safe." I think that's the only conscience I have left. I'm really afraid that the nightmare I had that night will one day become a reality. "Brother," Xiaorou said softly, "I feel like you've never been happy. Is it because I haven't done enough? Am I too rigid? I've seen those kinds of videos. If you want to do that, I... I can do it too..." "Silly girl," I teasingly tugged at her nipple. "Don't overthink it!" "But I always feel like you're afraid of something. Otherwise, why do you wear two condoms?" "First, it's safer that way. Second, I'm less sensitive this way, so it lasts longer. Wouldn't that be more comfortable for you?" "How annoying! You make it sound like I'm a pervert." Xiaorou pinched my crotch, got up, and put on her clothes. "I'm going back to sleep. Mom keeps saying I'm always running around here, not studying." After getting dressed, Xiaorou gave me a deep kiss. "Think of me." As if saying goodbye forever, Xiaorou turned back every three steps. I didn't want to get up, staring blankly at the ceiling. Just then, the phone rang. Sigh! It's the director again. An important client is coming for a meeting tomorrow; he's bound to nag for ages. I deliberately let it ring for a while before slowly picking up the phone. "Mingwei?" Oh my god, it's Xiaofeng. "Yes, it's me, Xiaofeng? What's wrong?" "Waaah..." Xiaofeng started crying, "He...he hit me again." "What happened?" "He...he's having an affair. He even brought that woman home today. I argued with him, and he hit me..." "Where are you now?" "I ran away. I'm at the community gate now. Mingwei, are you free now? I don't have any money, and I don't know where to go." "Okay, I'll be right there. Wait for me." After settling Xiaofeng in the restaurant, it was already midnight. Thinking about tomorrow, I got up to say goodbye to Xiaofeng. "..." Xiaofeng grabbed my sleeve. "Mingwei, can you stay with me a little longer?" I hesitated for a moment, then sat down. Xiaofeng leaned closer to me. "Can I hug you?" I hesitated for a moment, then reached out and pulled her into my arms. She said softly, "You've always just hugged me like this before." I stroked her hair; she had a strange fragrance about her. "Didn't you ever think about taking it further before?" "I..." "Your heartbeat has quickened, just like before." "I really want to, but I'm afraid you'll be angry." "Silly girl, you worry too much. No wonder we can't get married yet. So... do you want to now?" I answered with silence. Xiaofeng looked up at me, her gaze soft and alluring. I looked at her closely; she had changed. Her once slightly thin face now possessed the fullness of a mature woman. "Come on, Mingwei, let's go back to the past tonight." She took my hand and placed it on her chest. The rapid heartbeat transmitted to my palm. I lowered my head and kissed her. Her soft tongue actively searched for mine, and I increased the pressure of my kiss. "Mmm~" she hummed, then stood up from my body. "Remember how the boys used to call me 'nanny'?" I nodded. "Before, you only dared to touch them through your clothes. Now, you can have them." Xiao Feng said, taking off her shirt and unhooking her bra. A pair of snow-white, full breasts jumped out before my eyes, hanging like two grapefruits, their nipples slightly upturned. Xiao Feng held them herself, as if weighing them, waves rippling before my eyes. "They sagged a bit after giving birth to Rongrong. It's a pity you can't see how firm they used to be." She proudly puffed out her chest at me, as if in a show of defiance, her breasts jiggling and bouncing—perhaps because she had breastfed? Her areolas and nipples were a bit darker, and her nipples were larger, unlike Xiaorou's tender pink ones, but they had a more mature charm. They were swaying in front of me, as if calling out, "Come, possess me!" I leaned forward, burying my face in Xiaofeng's deep cleavage, greedily inhaling the sweet, milky scent. My hands firmly grasped those breasts that were once famous throughout the department, and then we both lay down on the bed. My hands circled her breasts repeatedly, gently flicking her nipples. "Ah!" She trembled, her nipples immediately hardening. I pinched them with my thumb and forefinger, gently rubbing them. Xiaofeng reached out and grabbed my crotch. "Ah! So restless." Xiaofeng chuckled, "I used to always want to see what it looked like." "You think about that too?" "Don't you know young girls can have feelings too?" Of course I knew! Xiaorou was a perfect example. “Now you can take a good look.” Without a word, Xiao Feng unzipped my pants and pulled out my already erect penis, rubbing it incessantly. “How is it? Are you satisfied?” I remembered how Xiao Rou took three whole days to recover her walking ability, and I was a little conceited about my size. “Your common sense is lacking! It doesn’t have to be big to make a woman feel good. Women care about the situation and the atmosphere.” Xiao Feng swallowed hard. “But I still prefer a bigger one.” She helped me take off my clothes, and I rolled over and pinned her down, kissing her passionately. She was such an uncontrollable woman; I couldn’t even hold onto her breasts. My lips slid to her chest, licking her nipples alternately. “Ahhhhh,” Xiao Rou moaned, “You can, you can lick them together.” “Together?” I immediately moved closer, squeezing her breasts together so that her nipples could touch. I took both nipples into my mouth and sucked hard. "Ahhh, so good." Xiaofeng panted, her areolas and nipples darkening with excitement. I moved to Xiaofeng's lower body, pulled down her pants, and through her silk panties, I could clearly see her thick, dark pubic hair. I licked her through her panties, and Xiaofeng rubbed her nipples. "Mmm...ah...take...take off your panties." I pulled down her panties, and her glistening love juices were already overflowing. I parted the pubic hair, found the source of this life-giving fluid, and gently sucked and licked it. "Ahhhhh..." she cried out, her whole body trembling, her smooth, delicate legs bending and rubbing against my penis. I felt the pleasure rising higher and higher. Suddenly she said, "Mingwei, hurry, I can't take it anymore." I stood up and faced her. She opened her legs and clamped my waist around them, pressing forward, so I slid in. "Ah~~ Mingwei, you're so good, it feels so good~~" To be honest, Xiaofeng wasn't as tight as Xiaorou, but her reaction excited me even more. I ignored her feelings and just kept moving. "Hmm~~ Ah~~" Her voice grew louder and her breathing became more rapid. In just a few minutes, I ejaculated inside her. After lying down for a while, I got up and went to the bathroom to shower. The door opened with a creak, and Xiaofeng stepped into the shower naked, hugging me from behind. Her two hot breasts pressed against my back. I turned her around and hugged her from behind, letting the strong jet of water from the showerhead soak her body. Xiaofeng's body was covered in water droplets, which looked crystal clear under the light. I kissed her earlobe, her snow-white neck, and lovingly kneaded her breasts with both hands. "Ah~~" Xiaofeng let out a long breath. "It feels so good, you know? It's been so long since I've felt this way... ever since she started having an affair, I've almost forgotten what it feels like." Xiao Feng squirmed restlessly under my caresses, her plump, white buttocks rubbing against my penis. "Mingwei." Xiao Feng turned her head and breathed into my ear. "I... I want to do it again, is that okay?" We've already done it twice tonight, and I'm really feeling a bit weak. I glanced at my watch when I came in, it was almost three o'clock, and I was worried about the meeting this morning. Seeing my hesitation, Xiao Feng squatted down, held my penis, and gently licked it with her tongue. Then she took it all into her mouth and sucked hard. I felt a tingling sensation in my lower body, and all the blood in my body gradually rushed to my groin. In no time, I was fully erect. Xiao Feng looked up and said to me seductively. "Look, it's nodding in agreement!" My penis trembled with intense pleasure. Xiaofeng spread a towel on the floor, gesturing for me to lie down. She straddled me, leaning down to lick my ear. "You don't need to move, I'll make you feel very comfortable." As she spoke, her lips and tongue slowly traced my forehead, gently tracing every inch of my body, then sliding her nipples from my feet down to my face. I stuck out my tongue to lick them, while Xiaofeng swayed her large breasts from side to side, teasing...She teased me, then squatted down facing my face. I licked her mysterious triangle while she rubbed her clitoris against my nose. Soon, I smelled a faint, fishy odor. As she became more and more excited, she sat down harder and harder, finally pressing down on me with almost all her strength. I felt breathless and slapped her buttocks hard before she finally got off me. I wiped the lustful fluid around my nose and lips and complained, "Are you trying to suffocate me?" Xiaofeng whispered in my ear. "To die under a lewd hole is to die a romantic death, isn't it?" I could hardly believe my ears. How could that literary girl who always talked about literature and art say such obscene things? Xiaofeng didn't give me time to think. She lathered herself with soap and rubbed her body against mine. I could feel her hardened nipples and hairy genitals sliding against me. Then she came between my legs, cupped her full breasts, and began to stroke my penis up and down. My not-so-short penis was almost completely submerged in her breasts; only the glans could be seen appearing and disappearing in her cleavage with each stroke. Her vulva rubbed against my knee, and I thrust my knee back against her harder. "Ahhhhhh," she groaned, her breathing growing heavier. "I can't take it anymore." Xiaofeng quickly straddled me, grabbed my penis, and sat down, rocking me up and down and side to side almost frantically. "Ah...ah..." Her breasts swayed violently with her movements. I wondered if she would throw them off me, so I held her restless breasts with my hands and gently rubbed her nipples. This seemed to excite her even more, and her movements became wilder and wilder. After a while, she finally stopped moving and lay on top of me, panting heavily. I felt her body begin to contract rhythmically. I reached out and gently stroked her smooth back. Xiao Feng suddenly said. "Why are you still hard? Come on, watch me!" She grabbed my penis and shoved it into her mouth, sucking and licking. In no time, I felt a surge of heat in my lower body. I tried to pull out, but Xiaofeng held me firmly, thrusting even more intensely. Finally, I plunged into her mouth like a thousand horses galloping into a tempest… 7 In the days that followed, Xiaofeng frequently came to see me. After recounting her unhappy marriage, we would have a passionate encounter. Xiaofeng's sexuality seemed to be becoming increasingly intense. Sometimes I even suspected she had masochistic tendencies. Several times, to provoke my anger, she even punched me until I saw stars. Perhaps subconsciously, she wanted revenge for her past betrayal? I responded passionately to her desires, leaving marks of intense lovemaking on her snow-white body. I tried to use this to distract myself from my guilt towards Xiaorou, but ultimately, I couldn't escape it. Xiaorou sensed my evasive attitude and finally couldn't help but ask me… "Brother, do you have a girlfriend?" "No! Why would you ask that?" "I feel like you've changed lately. You don't talk to me as much anymore, and you often come home very late." "I've been busy lately!" "Liar, you used to be busy too! Otherwise, let me ask you, what kind of underwear did I wear when we did 'that' last time?" "This..." I really forgot. "During 'that'? You weren't wearing underwear!" "That's not funny at all. I knew you weren't paying attention to me. You even said that I looked more mature and sexy in that kind of underwear, but you've forgotten it yourself." "Okay! I apologize. Next time I'll definitely take notes and write down the colors and styles of the underwear you wear every day, okay? My little underwear master." I reached out to coax her, but she broke free from my embrace. "Brother, promise me you won't make me sad, okay?" She turned and left without looking back. I collapsed onto the bed, feeling so tired, yet unable to sleep. The events of the past few days flashed before my eyes like a revolving lantern. I remembered Xiaorou's sometimes innocent yet deeply affectionate face, Xiaofeng's sorrowful face as she recounted her unhappy marriage, and my relationships with them. I was shocked to realize how I had become like this. What hurt me most was Xiaorou. I was enduring the torment of guilt, yet I was powerless to resist having sex with her. I couldn't help but ask myself, did I truly love Xiaorou? Or was I simply indulging in her youthful, budding body, indulging in the intoxicating pleasure of ejaculating inside her? I couldn't bear to reject her feelings—was it love, or was it harming her? I heard a voice inside me telling me that I couldn't go on like this. It was better to hurt her now than to ruin her. I had to end things immediately, or I would spend the rest of my life in regret. The next day, I went home early. A faint candlelight shone from the kitchen. When Xiaorou saw me, her face was full of smiles. "Brother, I'm sorry. I was so unreasonable last night, so I've prepared a romantic candlelight dinner to apologize to you. There's also a special gift after dinner!" Xiaorou was wearing the little dress she wore to the Christmas ball last year, and her face was lightly made up. I took a deep breath. "Xiaorou, come, sit down. I have something to tell you." "Brother, what happened? You look terrible." "Xiaorou, I've been thinking about this for a long, long time. I haven't known how to bring it up. I know that if I say it, it will hurt you. I really don't want to, but I can't not say it..." "Brother, you..." Xiaorou looked at me anxiously. “Don’t interrupt me, Xiaorou, let me finish. We can’t go on like this. This is wrong. We’re siblings, we’re related by blood. Neither morality nor our own hearts allow us to do this. I’m sorry for my hesitant attitude, and even more sorry for violating your body, Xiaorou. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know how to make up for the harm I’ve done to you…” “Brother, don’t leave me.” A layer of tears welled up in Xiaorou’s eyes. When I saw those thin tears gradually solidify and roll down her cheeks, I almost backed away. “Xiaorou, are you even listening to me?” “I don’t want to hear it.” Xiaorou covered her ears and shook her head repeatedly. "Xiaorou, calm down. Think about it. Continuing like this will only ruin your future. You'll get married eventually." "I don't want to hear it, I don't want to think about it, and I don't want to get married. I just want the present." "Xiaorou, don't be like this." "You don't love me at all, do you? Why did you lie to me? Why were you so good to me? Why did you spoil me so much, pamper me, and say so many sweet things to me? And why... why did you... sleep with me?" "My dear Xiaorou, I love you, really, I swore it when we were little, but that's different..." "Stop talking." Xiaorou suddenly raised her head, stared at me with wide eyes, and said each word through gritted teeth. "Do you still treat me like a child? I'll be a junior in college next year. Do you think I'm still that crybaby, spoiled little girl who never grew up? Do you know how disgusting it is for someone my age to pretend to be innocent and cute? But I'm willing to do it because that way you'll love and pamper me. I like being pampered and loved by you, you know that? Do you think I don't know we're siblings? That I can't fall in love with you, can't make love with you, can't spend my life with you? But I just can't do it! Why did you have to say it? Why did you ruin my beautiful dream of the past few years? If you don't love me, why are you so good to me? If you hadn't helped me out back then, I wouldn't have been raped! You made me fall in love with you, but you won't let me love you. How can you be so cruel? It's all your fault. I hate you. I never want to see you again." After Xiaorou finished speaking, she turned and ran out. At the door, she tripped over her skirt and fell. I rushed over to help her up, but she shook off my hand and ran home crying. I chased after her. "Xiao Rou..." Entering her living room, I saw Xiao Rou lifting her skirt, her snow-white legs disappearing around the corner of the stairs in silver high heels. My uncle poked his head out from behind his newspaper and asked, "What's wrong?" My aunt, however, was engrossed in her TV drama, not even looking up. "You two had another fight? Xiao Rou is such a spoiled child, it's all because of your uncle and me. As her older brother, you should be more accommodating and not take it to heart." I meekly withdrew and returned to the kitchen. I slumped into a chair, the candlelight on the table flickering gently. I felt a piercing pain, blew out the candle, took a bottle of wine from the cupboard, uncorked it, and desperately gulped it down. After drinking most of it, I felt a burning churning in my stomach and stumbled into the bathroom, vomiting violently into the toilet. I hadn't seen Xiaorou for over ten days. She seemed to be deliberately avoiding me when I came and went. I couldn't muster the courage to see her either. Perhaps it was for the best; I really didn't know how to face her again. But the bitterness in my heart grew stronger each day. Alcohol could no longer alleviate my self-hatred. I went to find Xiaofeng. As soon as Xiaofeng entered the hotel room and closed the door, I excitedly pounced on her and roughly stripped off her clothes. "Mingwei, have you been drinking?" I ignored her, pulled down her underwear, and forcefully entered her. "Mingwei, wait, I haven't..." Xiaofeng anxiously tried to stop my advances, but I held her firmly down. "Mingwei, please, I'm still dry, go slower, don't be so rough, it hurts!" I couldn't hear what Xiaofeng was saying. I was in a frenzy, wanting only to release all the pent-up emotions I had suppressed for so long.Just as I was about to reach my climax, Xiao Feng's face, contorted with pain, gradually transformed into the heartbroken expression of Xiao Rou when she left in despair that night. I called out in a daze, "Xiao Rou..." "Xiao Rou?" Xiao Feng froze for a moment, then quickly sat up as if burned, pulling away from me. My still-erect penis sprang out of her, a stream of white fluid comically arcing through the air before flowing straight onto the sheets between us. "Xiao Rou? You called your cousin's name while we were making love? You...you slept with her? You slept with your sister?" Seeing me kneeling blankly on the bed, Xiao Feng instantly understood everything. "You slept with your sister, you actually slept with your sister, you...you...shameless beast!" Anger flashed across Xiao Feng's face as she slapped me hard across the face, then got up and put on the underwear I had almost torn to shreds. "Hahaha..." I laughed wildly, and Xiao Feng stopped what she was doing, staring at me in confusion. "What are you laughing at?" "That's right, I'm a shameless beast, I slept with my sister." I shouted. "And what about you? What are you? You have a husband, you have children, yet you come to me, asking me to sleep with you, what are you?" "I..." I pressed myself against her, ruthlessly retaliating. "You big pervert, you want me to hit you, pinch you, bite you, have the bruises on your breasts faded yet? You're just a sex-crazed bitch, what do you know? I don't want to be your sex machine anymore, goodbye!" After saying that, I dressed faster than I ever had in my life, walked out of the room, and as I entered the elevator, I could faintly hear Xiao Feng's shrill screams coming from inside the room. "Mingwei, don't leave me." I huddled numbly on a park bench. The faint morning light filtered through the sparse leaves, casting shadows around me. The birdsong seemed to tell of the world's beauty. People exercising early in the morning cast curious yet wary glances at me, but none of that mattered to me. My mind was a jumbled mess, and I couldn't quite make out what I was thinking. Various images jumbled and distorted in my mind. One moment I saw Xiaorou intently cooking in the kitchen, the next I was pulled back to when Xiaorou was just born, and I was looking excitedly and curiously through the glass window at that little crying, wrinkled-faced baby in the nursery. Then I saw Xiaorou on her first day of school, and then Xiaorou became Xiaofeng. We walked hand in hand on the way home from school. I turned around and said viciously to her, "You bitch, goodbye." Suddenly, Xiaorou said sadly that she didn't want to see me again. But Xiaofeng tugged at my clothes, begging me not to leave her. It was a July morning, but I felt my whole body trembling. If this continued, I would go crazy. I decided to leave. There was a vacancy at the Hong Kong branch, and no one wanted to fill it for a while. I volunteered, and the boss agreed. After handling some minor matters, I hurriedly packed my bags and left Taiwan with endless regret. I didn't tell anyone, only on the night before I left, I went to Xiaorou's door and slipped a letter inside. Xiaorou: Tonight, I'm overwhelmed with emotions. I don't know how to express my regret and apology. You said you didn't want to see me again, so I'm leaving, leaving Taiwan, going far away. This is better for both of us. I really don't know how to face you again. Don't be sad, don't cry. Every tear you shed will gather into an ocean in every uneasy dream I have from now on, drowning me. I hurt you, and I can't ask for your forgiveness because I will never, ever forgive myself. I hope my departure will take all the pain away, leaving you a new space.我想距离和时间会是不错的疗伤药，在不久的将来，希望你能走出这个阴影，全心全意的迎向你年轻而美好的将来，总有一天，你会遇上一个更宠你疼你的男孩，你会和他一起渡过往后的每一个甜蜜的日子，你会渐渐的将我遗忘，我的影像，我的一切，终将会成为你心底最深处的一个模糊，朦胧的印象，在你安然沈睡的夜里，将不会再有我这个不负责任的混蛋哥哥的任何一点残存的记忆。我乐于见到这样的结果。我一直一直希望你能幸福而美好的过这一生，一如我第一眼见到你时对自己许下的承诺，但我已无法实现了，今后，我再也不能跟在你身边疼你，呵护你，痛揍那些欺负你的坏蛋，但我知道，会有一个人，他会乐意的接续我的任务。但在王子出现之前，你要勇敢，要坚强，正如你说的，明年都是大三的大女孩了呢！ I have to leave, with immense reluctance. My heart is conflicted, my steps hesitant, but I don't want to say goodbye. I will pray for you every day from now on! Upon arriving in Hong Kong, I only contacted my father on the mainland. I deliberately avoided anything related to Taiwan. At the company, I was someone without a past; I never mentioned anything about my past, or anything outside of work, to anyone. But as if cursed, scenes from the past haunted me like ghosts, appearing like phantoms in every quiet night, after every laugh. Later, an opportunity arose, and I simply immigrated to England. I thought the farther away I was, the fainter my memories might become, but things didn't go as planned. The doctor warned me that if I continued drinking, my brain would be overwhelmed by alcohol, turning me into an idiot. My neighbors called me a strange Easterner. I avoided every phone call from home, and through the answering machine, I learned of Xiaorou's love life, marriage, pregnancy, and childbirth. I felt a sliver of comfort, yet also a pang of regret. How wonderful it would have been if Xiaorou had told me all this herself! But since the night she stormed out of my house, I had never heard her sweet, affectionate voice again. My father, speaking through the answering machine, asked me bitterly if I planned to die far from home. I downed the last drop of wine in my glass and answered myself, "Maybe?" 9. Through the glass window, I could see the city lights in the distance shrouded in a thin layer of mist. Yes, I remembered that this city was experiencing a day of continuous spring rain at this time of year. The flight attendants were kindly reminding each passenger to fasten their seatbelts. Suddenly, my thoughts drifted far, far away. "Sir, the plane is about to land. Please fasten your seatbelts." The flight attendant gave me a sweet smile and her gentle voice pulled me back to reality. The plane made a wide turn in the air and landed smoothly on the wide, long runway, slowly taxiing to the apron. The airport lights created beautiful circles of color in the mist. Suddenly, I felt uneasy, wishing the captain would turn the plane around and take off again, but that was impossible. I followed the crowd out of the gate, a gust of strong wind characteristic of airports, mixed with rain, made me stumble. I steadied myself and looked around. Ah! Taiwan, I've finally returned. After a full ten years, I've once again set foot on this land that holds so many painful memories, regrets, and a deep sense of loss for me. Last week, my older brother called to tell me that my uncle had been hit by a tow truck on his way home from a business dinner a few days earlier and was now in a vegetative state. "I don't know what's wrong with you that you don't want to come back to Taiwan, but this time, at least come back and see him. Xiaorou's eyes are almost blind from crying!" So I hastily packed my bags and boarded the air bus to my hometown. I hitchhiked to the hospital in the dark. The highway was nearly empty at night. The driver, his lips tightly pressed together, sped along, streetlights and tree shadows flashing past. The only sounds were the tires gliding over the wet pavement and the monotonous screech of the wipers against the windshield. I quickly fell into deep thought again. For the past ten years, it seemed my purpose in life had been to endure the torment of the past. Whether I was walking on a bustling street, lying alone in a cold bed, awake or dreaming, those memories I didn't want to recall constantly swirled in my mind, endlessly. A screech of brakes jolted me awake. I had arrived at the hospital. I had deliberately chosen to come late at night, perhaps to avoid many questions and a certain person? That's what I thought. I moved hesitantly towards the ward, mentally calculating who I would see, what questions they would ask, and how I should answer. Opening the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. Only my aunt was inside, lying on the bed, seemingly asleep. I gently closed the door, but it still woke her. She looked up, her swollen eyes peeking at me with a puzzled expression. "Auntie, it's me, Mingwei! I'm back!" "Mingwei? Why are you here so soon? Did you go home?" "No, I just got off the plane and came straight here. I came to see Uncle first." "Sigh! What's there to see? He's still like this." My aunt said helplessly, slowly moving closer to my uncle's ear. "Jiafu, Mingwei is back to see you! Do you remember Mingwei? Little Wei! The Little Wei who used to fight for Xiaorou when we were little! Can you hear me?" I leaned closer too. "Uncle, it's me, Little Wei! I'm back. Get well soon!" My uncle's index finger suddenly twitched a few times. I looked at my aunt in surprise, but she said expressionlessly. "The doctor said it's just a simple reflex, nothing serious. Sometimes his whole body twitches uncontrollably. Sigh! Seeing him live in such pain, it would have been better if he had just passed away sooner, to save him from all this suffering." My aunt stared at me intently. "How did you get so thin? You don't even know how to take care of yourself when you're out there! You! You've been gone for ten years without a word. Even though your three older brothers have all immigrated abroad, at least they send money every year...""They always come back once or twice, unlike you. Every time your mother comes back, she's always crying her eyes out when she talks about you. Are you married yet?" I shook my head. "What's wrong wit

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Thinking back to those days when my spring clothes were so thin (reprinted)

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