Remembering past relationships

Our relationship was intimate and harmonious. However, in public places like the office, we had to maintain a normal colleague relationship, being polite and respectful, just like before. But the way we looked at each other was completely different. Often, when colleagues chatted, we would join in. Even so, in our deliberate eye contact, we would still convey a lot of information that only the two of us understood. The

originally monotonous and boring work and life abroad became much more colorful from then on, but sleeping together was still a long way off, due to the nature of my work and the fact that she was still a university student. Every morning, I would walk to work with great enthusiasm, knowing that I would see her. Sometimes, I would feel listless at work because she wasn't there. She wasn't a full-time employee; she only came a few days a week to continue her studies, and her current job was only part-time.

Sometimes, instead of being intimate in the office at noon, we would go out for lunch together. But as the saying goes, "He who walks by the river will eventually get wet," and one day, things finally went wrong. Her boyfriend probably sensed her unusual mood and state. One day, he caught her out to eat. I was terrified, but thankfully we were out, not in the office, otherwise things would have been much worse. Even so, I was still quite frightened, after all, I was cheating on someone else's girlfriend. That day, I pretended to be calm and finished my meal, chatting casually with her boyfriend at the table, but I was sweating bullets. She seemed even calmer than me, sitting next to him, pretending to be affectionate, holding his arm, acting coquettish, and continuing to give me flirtatious looks, as if to say, "Don't worry, nothing will happen." Even worse, she secretly stretched her foot under the table to touch my leg, accompanied by a suggestive and teasing look. Despite this, I couldn't accept it; it was too dangerous.

After dinner, back in the office, I said to her with some concern, "Your boyfriend seems very unhappy that he caught us together. Will this affect you?" Unexpectedly, she smiled and said, "It's okay, don't worry, I have a way to make him happy." Seeing her confident expression, I felt a little relieved.

Even so, I was still a bit worried, and for a while afterward, I restrained myself and tried to avoid contact with her. She probably sensed this, but her actions were the opposite; she actively teased me. For example, she would say she was thirsty and ask me to get her a bottle of water. I would hand her the water, but she would shake her head and refuse to drink, saying she needed me to feed her the water with my mouth—quite a new twist!

But being young, even with a sword hanging over my head, seeing a vibrant young woman so provocatively teasing me, my wariness gradually lessened, and we continued playing that game of snatching food from a tiger's mouth.

The usual intimacy continued, but I was getting a little dissatisfied with this half-hearted approach; it didn't feel quite right. So, I suggested we go to a hotel together one night. She said her family and boyfriend kept a close eye on her, and she couldn't leave the house without a good reason. Even when she did leave, she couldn't go alone; she had to go with her best friend so she could explain things to her family and boyfriend, and if they ever checked up on her, she could blame it on her best friend.

Speaking of her best friend, she was a stunning foreign woman with a figure that rivaled many, especially her blonde hair, which stirred my childhood admiration for blondes and blue-eyed people. However, we weren't close; we'd only met a few times and hadn't spoken. She was a bit aloof, and our styles were quite different. So, despite my own ulterior motives, the idea of bringing my best friend along to a hotel room seemed a bit impractical.

But she rejected all other suggestions. After hesitating for a long time, I finally couldn't resist the temptation and decided to try her method.

We arranged to meet on a weekday evening, since it would be difficult for her to find an excuse to go out on the weekend. The plan was roughly this: I would wait for them in the hotel lobby, not rushing to check in, because it wasn't certain whether she and her best friend could sneak out at the same time. After they successfully escaped from their home, I would book two more rooms. It might seem a bit expensive, but the die was cast, and I had to go. Even if it were three rooms, I'd book them.

It was my first time booking a room with someone abroad, and my feelings were complicated. On one hand, I was a little uneasy, and on the other hand, I was bursting with passion. I remembered a quote I'd seen online, seemingly from a girl, who said that the most unforgettable memory of her youth was walking confidently and nervously to a hotel room. It really resonated with me. So, with my heart pounding and my mind racing, I arrived at the hotel. Sitting in the grand lobby, which was nearly empty, only highlighted my unease and restlessness. After waiting for almost an hour, about half an hour later than the agreed time, I finally saw them appear. Both were wearing tight jeans and tight t-shirts, which accentuated their beautiful hip curves and long, slender legs, making their proportions look amazing. Her best friend, in particular, was taller and slimmer, with a fuller bust and long, shimmering blonde hair. Seeing these two vibrant and youthful beauties, my heart pounded wildly, almost leaping out of my chest. I thought to myself, "What have I done to deserve such good fortune?"

Despite my inner turmoil, I maintained a calm facade, stood up, and greeted them. Her friend, though aloof, generously leaned in for a cheek kiss. I asked them to sit for a moment, then went to book two rooms. Amidst the hotel staff's puzzled and envious glances, I led the two beauties to the guest room elevator. When we arrived at one room, she went in first, while they walked hand-in-hand to the other. During this time, she secretly glanced back and winked at me, signaling me to wait for her. Once inside the room, my anxious and excited heart finally settled down.

Time was precious, so after entering the room, I quickly finished washing up and then anxiously waited for her to come. About fifteen minutes felt like an hour when there was a knock at the door. I hurriedly opened it, and she nervously walked in, then closed the door, telling me it was her first time in a hotel room with someone. But I didn't want to hear any more. I grabbed her, turned her around, and pinned her against the wall in the hallway. I kissed her, my tongue forcing its way past her white, pearly teeth, sucking hard on her tongue. My hands vigorously kneaded her proud, firm breasts, while my other hand wrapped around her slender, sexy waist, pressing my hard penis against her long thighs. Our heavy breathing and disheveled hair filled the air with a palpable sense of desire. With one hand, I laboriously unbuttoned her tight jeans, then forcefully pulled them down, revealing a black lace thong that looked incredibly sexy and alluring against her fair, firm skin. Speaking of which, it seems few Chinese girls like wearing t-backs. I've asked a few girls, and they all said they were uncomfortable and felt constricting. She then unbuttoned my shirt and belt, pulled down my pants, and immediately took my penis into her mouth. But today, I wanted to repeat what I'd done before. After she'd masturbated a few times, I pulled her up, turned her to face the wall, and tried to penetrate her from behind. But unexpectedly, she suddenly said, "Not now," pushed me away, and pulled her jeans back up, buttoning them tight. I was stunned and asked what was wrong. She laughed and replied, "I have to go see my best friend; I can't leave her alone." She even insisted I come with her. Sigh, what a strange idea she came up with, but I had no choice. After all that commotion, my little brother went limp. I put on my clothes, straightened them, and followed her to her best friend's room.

When we got there, the blonde beauty seemed rather bored, which made sense. I guess I was definitely playing the third wheel. We pretended nothing had happened and spent some time with her. She and her best friend were lying on the bed, joking and chatting, while I pretended to keep them company, making small talk. It seems good friends are different; they always keep each other in mind. However, it seemed she was also trying to maintain her position in her best friend's heart, not favoring one over the other. It seems

this best friend is similar to a man's buddy; they can keep each other's secrets. For example, if they're out flirting or visiting prostitutes behind their wives' or girlfriends' backs, they'll keep quiet and cover for each other. So, in this sense, men and women shouldn't say things like "no man is a good man."

Being a third wheel was indeed a bit boring, but it seemed to be this blonde beauty's first time experiencing something like this. She probably couldn't resist her friend's persuasion and came to help. After that, she didn't come alone; she brought another friend. At this point, some readers might be thinking, "Wow! A foursome!" Looking back, I guess I was just being naive. But then again, if you're telling someone who hasn't even had a bun, "Why didn't you eat meat?" the reality is, because they were so hungry, they were only thinking about eating the bun; they didn't care about figuring out how to get meat. So, sometimes, to accomplish something, the right time, the right place, and the right people are all essential. Without the right environment, many things become impractical.

So, we played in my friend's room for quite a while. Finally, the blonde beauty, being the perceptive one, urged us to go back to our room. She pretended to be very reluctant and let me go first, returning a while later. After all this ups and downs, my enthusiasm had waned considerably. Just like in ancient warfare, the key is to strike while the iron is hot, then weaken, and finally exhaust yourself.

Back in the room, I lay down to rest, while she went to the bathroom to wash up. She came out a while later. My God, she surprised me again. When she came out, she was wearing a semi-transparent black nightgown, without a bra underneath. Without the restraint of a bra, her breasts trembled slightly with each step, and her flat stomach was still covered by that alluring t-back, gleaming against her smooth thighs. A few strands of half-dry hair clung to her youthful, beautiful, and slightly seductive face, making her appear somewhat wanton and alluring—a stark contrast to her usual image.

My little brother and I suddenly stood up in salute, but unexpectedly she pounced on me, pinning me down on the bed and telling me not to move. Then she let me take off my clothes one by one. Looking at my erect penis, she smiled and leaned down to gently kiss my lips, then my neck, chest, lower abdomen, thighs, calves, and back up to my thighs, the groin. I was almost unable to lie still from her teasing, constantly urging her to hurry up, but she still went at her own pace. My anticipation was almost in my throat. Finally, her warm little mouth took my little brother in, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I told her to turn her buttocks towards me, 69 position. A sexy, tight buttocks, divided in two by a narrow tuck. I gently used my fingers to push the tuck to one side, revealing her pink and clean private parts. Her pubic hair seemed to be completely shaved, which is a common practice among Western women. I later heard it's because they wear bikinis at the beach, so they shave their pubic hair; otherwise, it's considered unseemly. It seems very few Chinese girls have this habit. Personally, I feel I prefer Chinese girls who retain their pubic hair; it seems more alluring. Of course, this is just my opinion.

Without hesitation, I started giving her oral sex. As I sucked, she moaned and her breathing became heavier, but she didn't slow down her pace at all; instead, she quickened it. I quickly couldn't take it anymore and told her to stop, but she refused. I tried to escape from under her, but she held me tightly, and I couldn't break free. Soon, under the intense stimulation, I ejaculated. She remained in the same position, waiting for my body to completely soften. Only then did she release her mouth with a victorious smile, lift her head, run to the bathroom to vomit, and then run back, lying triumphantly in my arms. I was both angry and amused; this rare opportunity to stay in a hotel room still didn't allow me to experience anything new.

Once we entered the refractory period, we could finally lie in bed and chat peacefully. She told me that this was her first time sharing a hotel room with someone, something she had never done before, including with her boyfriend. Therefore, she felt a little nervous, and because she had lied to her family and boyfriend that she was sleeping at her best friend's house, she felt some psychological pressure and a certain psychological barrier, feeling guilty towards her boyfriend. Hearing this, I understood why she had been holding onto my penis and refusing to let go. For many women, the final penetration is perhaps the most essential part. All the previous intimacy, in their eyes, represents a healthy boundary, even if it seems insignificant to men. For women, crossing that boundary is like entering a new world. Therefore, Eileen Chang's famous saying, "The passage to a woman's soul is the vagina," still holds considerable truth.

Afterwards, I did encounter and hear about some girls who behaved this way. They might be affectionate and intimate with you, but they wouldn't agree to take the final step. This means she hasn't truly accepted you from the bottom of her heart, or isn't ready to. She still has her own principles and boundaries; she's not ready yet. So, in this situation, the man is probably on his own. There's still a significant distance between you and the girl that you need to bridge and mend, and there will be many variables along the way. However, I still want to remind guys that if you encounter a girl like this, you must cherish her. Because once you truly win her over, she will also uphold your principles and boundaries and won't give up easily.

This is a bit off-topic, a bit like being a hypocrite, but perhaps that's life—it's hard to explain or reason about. It exists in a state of ambiguity, between right and wrong, where we act as we please and go with the flow. This is how life presents its many colors and forms; perhaps this is the true meaning of life.

Enjoy the present moment, live each day to the fullest, and cherish every person who appears in your journey at every stage, no matter how long that period—a year, a month, a day, or even just an hour (helping fallen women).

She said she had psychological barriers, and I could only try my best to comfort her and tell her not to feel any burden. Writing this, I increasingly feel like I might be the kind of man criticized online for "leading young women into prostitution" or "persuading prostitutes to reform." Let's leave that topic aside for now and discuss it another time.

However, psychological barriers aren't easily overcome, and the effect wasn't significant. I could only change the subject, make a joke, talk about other things, and divert everyone's attention from this—a tactical maneuver, I suppose. A long time

passed like this. Back then, I was young and energetic, and my little brother started demanding to "go to work" again. Actually, several times during this period, she just wouldn't agree to the final penetration. Later, seeing that there was no chance, I didn't intend to force myself on her; that would be too low-level. After several unsuccessful attempts, it was quite late, so I could only sigh and say, "Okay, that's enough. I'm going to sleep." Then I turned my back to her, intending to rest. After a while, seeing that I wasn't speaking, she came closer and asked, "Are you angry?" I said no, I was just a little tired and wanted to rest. She said, "You're lying. You must be angry. You look so ugly when you're not talking." I said, "Do I have to talk when I'm sleeping?" Then she stopped talking and her hands started to wander, lightly stroking my penis. After all, she was still holding back her desire, and soon it got hard. She laughed and said, "Look, it doesn't want to sleep." I deliberately said, "Let it sleep if it doesn't want to. I'm going to sleep." She said, "No." After straightening my body, she climbed on top of me, put the condom back on my penis (which she had already taken off several times), and tried to insert it herself. I was secretly delighted. It was truly a case of "after all the obstacles, a new path opens up." However, I still pretended to be indifferent and continued to lie still. Finally, she found the right position, leaned back, and my penis successfully slid in. It was truly a difficult moment, and a huge feeling of happiness welled up inside me. Ironically, the sensation after penetration wasn't particularly strong. Perhaps all sensations are relative.

She sat on top of me, moving up and down, while I deliberately remained still. Seeing my lack of reaction, she rolled over and continued kissing my penis, which surprised me again. Foreign women really don't care about etiquette or the proper order of things. I doubt many Chinese women would do that. After a few rounds of teasing, I couldn't resist anymore. I suddenly sat up, pinned her down, and thrust deeply inside her, then asked her, "Do you like it?" She smiled and said she did. Sigh, a woman's heart is like the bottom of the sea; it really requires careful contemplation. Then I turned her over and made her kneel on the bed, adopting a rear-entry position. This position was incredibly stimulating; her round buttocks, slender waist, swaying breasts, and the beautiful, blissful face she looked at when she turned back to look at me. Finally, after only a few thrusts, I came. Perhaps because it had taken so long earlier, or perhaps because it was indeed very late, I felt sleepy immediately afterward, and slept soundly in her arms until dawn.

However, to be honest, the genitals of Western women might not be a good match for Chinese men. Although my size is fairly normal, neither too big nor too small, it always feels a bit empty after penetration. In comparison, Chinese women's genitals are relatively tighter, providing a stronger sense of enclosure. Of course, individual differences cannot be ruled out.

Actually, at this point, I feel that the emotional exchange between the two of us has far surpassed the physical sensations. This is probably what many women desire: even if there is an affair or illicit relationship, they don't want it to be just a physical interaction, but rather a fusion of emotions. Unconsciously, my illicit behavior has become a model for women to aspire to. Alas, there's no way around it; I always subconsciously try to embellish and exaggerate my own worth from time to time. This habit, like the restlessness and distraction

I feel when I see a beautiful woman, is probably hard to change. There's actually a lot more to our story. We went to hotels many more times, including opportunities for a foursome. If I were to say there would be many more rounds, it would just feel a bit repetitive.

Later, I had to return to China for work, something she already knew and had been worried about. From the very beginning, I told her I was just working abroad and would probably return to China after a while. But when that day actually came, she cried. She said that from the start of our relationship, she had always worried this day would come, and finally it had arrived. I still pretended to be calm and told her that even if I went back to China, if she had the chance to visit China in the future, we could still book rooms together. She wouldn't need her best friend's company there anymore. She laughed through her tears and hugged me tightly.

In that instant, I suddenly felt a deep pain in my heart, and tears welled up in my eyes. I even doubted myself. Was this really me? Was this how someone who was used to playing around with girls and constantly thinking about flirting should behave? No, this wasn't how I should be. I secretly wiped away my tears beside her ear. I must have been an irresponsible guy who took advantage of others and then left.

I smiled and told her I would miss her. She replied with a straight face, "I won't miss you after you leave. I'll forget you quickly."

And so, waving goodbye, without a trace, I returned to China.

The day after I arrived, I received a call from her, asking if I was safe. Then I received an email from her; she said she cried for a long, long time after I left, like she was sick. Her best friends were all calling me a bad guy, but she was the only one trying her best to protect my image.

Later, she graduated from university and went to France to study. After graduating with her master's degree, she stayed there to work. After a while, she told me she no longer missed me because she had a new boyfriend. At this moment, I felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, I was happy that she had found someone she liked, but on the other hand, I felt a huge sense of loss, as if I had just broken up with someone myself.

Later, her firm's boss came to China for a business trip, and she asked me to help host him. I also asked her boss to bring her a somewhat expensive gift.

Later, she got married.

Later, I got married too. Later

still, I couldn't keep up anymore, so I could only reminisce about the past, type online, and reminisce about my youthful days.

[The End]

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Remembering past relationships

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