My colleague at the hospital

He's my colleague, a doctor in the same department. We weren't close at first, never spoke. Haha, but one thing made me suddenly develop feelings for him. For a long time, I felt numb, but that day, I felt my heart flutter again. Okay, you can call me pathetic.

As a doctor, it's shameful, but I'm a little afraid of blood. I'm fine when I'm operating on patients, but if someone draws my blood, I tremble. I don't know why, but that day, in an emergency, when we opened a patient's chest, blood gushed out, covering me completely. I had just started work, and my fear of blood never happens because of patients, but that day I fainted instantly. Luckily, other doctors were there. The nurses carried me out to the duty room, where he was on duty, so let's call him F for now. I almost woke up as soon as I lay down, but it was difficult, and I felt weak all over. I didn't dare say I was afraid of blood, because that's a doctor's biggest taboo. He gave me a glucose drip and peeled an apple for me. He's the first person I remember peeling an apple for me. At that moment, I felt an urge to cry. I forced myself to hold back the tears. Haha, okay, I'm just pathetic; even such small gestures can move me. But at that time, we were still just ordinary colleagues. We started by chatting and joking around. One day, I coughed twice, and he touched my forehead with his hand. Instinctively, I flinched. Haha, he said, "Honey, let me see if you have a fever." Haha, my heart started racing again, being pathetic. In short, during that time, he was very kind and considerate to me. I thought he liked me, but he didn't confess or pursue me.

One day, a guy from our workplace was pursuing me and delivered flowers to our department. I deliberately didn't go out, and he brought them in. I secretly watched his expression; the other colleagues were all gossiping and watching the spectacle. Only he was seriously looking at the medical records. I was secretly pleased; I thought he was jealous. Then, I proudly told him that I had someone in my heart.

Later, one night, we were talking on QQ. He said, "I'm near your house, I'll come see you." And then he came. Actually, I wondered if he wanted to stay the night. But I genuinely felt he wasn't that kind of person, so I let him in. When he came in, he first said my house was messy and so on, and even helped me tidy up. Later, he said he was tired and wanted to borrow my sofa for the night. He said we should go to work together tomorrow and let the whole hospital know that the legendary "Lady Yiran" was his. I said, "You shameless bastard, no way!" It was all a joke, haha. Later, I went back to my room, and around midnight, I went to the bathroom. He was sleeping soundly, and I secretly smiled at him, feeling like I couldn't get enough of looking at him, I just loved him. Then, when I came out of the bathroom, he suddenly got up and hugged me, kissing my face and ears. Okay, I admit, I felt something from the kisses. But I was very rational. I loved him, so I couldn't do this, because men don't cherish women who sleep with them casually. So I absolutely refused. Later, he said, "I was wrong, I won't do this again, but can you let me hold you while we sleep?" I said, "Okay." But he changed shortly after we entered the bedroom. He frantically undressed me, tearing my pajamas to shreds. I swear, I resisted with my life; it was practically rape! But I liked him, I loved him, and I thought he loved me, that's why he treated me like that. Then, I slept soundly that night; he held me all night. But the next day at work, he didn't treat me like a girlfriend. I vaguely understood. Haha, I texted him, "What do you take me for?" He replied, "Sorry, I don't know." At that moment, I laughed, mocking my own foolish thinking. I thought that meeting this person would lead to a stable relationship. Haha, then… I asked him, "Why are you doing this to me? You know, I genuinely like you. If you don't love me, why did you touch me?" He only said sorry. But at that moment, the heartache wasn't the feeling of a broken heart, but a pain as unbreakable as a glass heart. I loved him, but he didn't love me; he just treated me like a free prostitute. I was remarkably calm then, and I said, "Can you be my boyfriend for three days?" Three days passed, and we were still colleagues. I forgot everything. He said, "Okay." At that moment, I felt truly content.

That day, I asked him, "Come to my place tonight?" He said, "No, I have things to do today." Then the next day, I asked again, "Come to my place?" He said, "No, I have things to do." Haha, then the third day, I asked him again, and he said, "I have other things to do." Then, being incredibly shameless, I begged him, "It's the last day, I'm begging you, after today, I promise I won't bother you anymore." Later, he came. He came in, took off his clothes, got into bed, and fell into a deep sleep, then woke up and left. Haha. Okay, call me whatever you want. But this story isn't over.

Then, we were just like colleagues again. Peaceful days, leaving me alone to quietly suffer. I often dream of him, and when I wake up, my heart aches so badly I feel like I can't breathe. Do you understand that feeling? Every time I find someone I can rely on, it's like someone suddenly comes to save me when I'm drowning. Then, I want to hold him tightly, but I'm afraid of hurting him. Yet, I can't let go.

Later, we didn't contact each other for a long time, and I didn't contact him either, because I didn't want to make a fool of myself. Although we sat in the same office every day, I pretended very well, acting as if I didn't care at all. Sometimes I even doubted whether I really didn't care about him anymore.

But things didn't end there. One day he suddenly contacted me. I asked him what he wanted, and he said, "You know." Haha, my heart was pounding. I knew I still loved him, and I even fantasized that maybe he thought I was good enough and wanted to be with me long-term. But I was wrong. He was just lonely and thirsty, needing a moving, erotic doll. After that night, I texted him, "I love you, so I'll do anything for you. Just say the word if you need me, and I'll be there." He said, "Yiran, why are you doing this? I'm sorry."

[The End]

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My colleague at the hospital

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