lonely

After much deliberation, I agreed to Xiaoying's request not to attend the gathering tonight. I understood Xiaoying's feelings;

after she and my father had shared a very intimate relationship. If her former sexual partner were to go on a blind date, regardless of

whether she loved him or not, he was still practically her lover, and the reluctance in her heart was self-evident. If Xiaoying were to attend the gathering and

see my father and Aunt Zhang chatting happily, wouldn't she be unable to suppress her feelings and give herself away? Therefore, the most

rational and prudent approach was for Xiaoying to avoid it.

When we arrived at the restaurant, my father was already there. When the food was served, I told him that Xiaoying had something come up

and couldn't make it. A flicker of disappointment and understanding crossed my father's face. Perhaps he knew

the reason behind , but I, who knew the inside story, still caught the fleeting sadness in his eyes.

At the table, there were exactly four of us: my father chatted with Aunt Zhang, and I chatted with Aunt Zhang's daughter.

Young people have their common language, and the older generation has its own. My conversation with Aunt Zhang's daughter

was mostly about workplace issues, while my father and Aunt Zhang talked about rural life and

their . Surprisingly, they seemed to have a lot in common. Firstly, they both came from rural backgrounds;

secondly, they were around the same age

;

and finally, they shared similar experiences—both moved from the countryside to the city, both lost

their spouses early, and their struggles and hardships were similar. The two elderly people started talking non-stop, seemingly with endless

topics to discuss. Seeing them, Aunt Zhang's daughter and I exchanged a smile; it seemed there were no barriers between them

. As

long as their lifestyles are compatible, there shouldn't be any problems. Looking at the atmosphere at the dinner table, I was glad Xiaoying hadn't come tonight. If she had, seeing how much my father and Aunt Zhang seemed to have hit it off, she would definitely have given herself away, and her awkwardness might have even affected the atmosphere. However, after careful observation, I noticed that my father's eyes didn't show any romantic love when he was with Aunt Zhang. He didn't treat her as a lover, but rather as a confidante and friend. It seemed that after such a long period of close contact with Xiaoying, it was unlikely that my father would easily fall in love with anyone else. Aunt Zhang could only offer him care and some emotional comfort in the future. A spouse is just a companion. Everyone ate very little, putting down their chopsticks after a short while. Leaving the restaurant, I suggested we go for a walk in the sports square to give my father and Aunt Zhang some time to talk. Perhaps it was because it was their first meeting, or perhaps it was because he didn't have romantic feelings for Aunt Zhang, but although my father and Aunt Zhang chatted happily, it lacked the passion of lovers. Around ten o'clock that evening, my father and I saw Aunt Zhang and her daughter off. As , my father stopped me. "Home isn't far, let's take a walk, just the two of us," my father said kindly, pressing down my hand that was about to hail a taxi. "Okay..." I sensed that my father might have something to say to me tonight. Tonight, due to the venue, my father and I didn't drink alcohol at the dinner table, only some mineral water and soft drinks, so we were both very clear- headed . "What do you think of Aunt Zhang?" my father asked as we walked. " Dad, you're looking for a partner, as long as you're happy with it, I have no objections. Aunt Zhang is one of my employees , I know her a bit, and she seems like a decent person. " "As long as you don't have any objections, that's fine. By the way, how's the arrangement for me to move out going?" My father has been pressing me about this for the past two days, seemingly eager to escape this family. It seems that after the two shocks of the fake pregnancy and my temper tantrums, he's genuinely scared. Perhaps leaving this home will allow him to live more naturally. "Do you really have to move out?" Although I knew the reason my father wanted to move out, I still felt a pang of guilt, and I couldn't help but try to persuade him to stay again. "You absolutely must move out. Even if it's your father's formal request, there's no room for negotiation. Living together still has many inconveniences, after all, our lifestyles are different. Besides, you've had enough of living in an apartment building; you just can't get used to it." Although my father didn't look at me as he said this, I could still hear the determination . "Alright, I'll contact Brother Sao tomorrow and ask him to help arrange something for you. I'll find you a better night watchman. First, the work won't be tiring, and you'll have something to do. Second, you like that kind of life, what do you say?" Sensing my father's insistence, I could only compromise. My father had an accident at the power company, and logically , the power company couldn't possibly hire him again. But I have Brother Sao as a high-ranking executive, so arranging it shouldn't be a problem . At worst, we can keep it discreet; a night watchman isn't an important role, who would notice? "Okay, I really like life on the island. To be honest, I've been missing the time I spent as a night watchman on the island lately ." Hearing my arrangement, my father's previously gloomy mood seemed to improve considerably. These were my father's honest thoughts. After all, coming from a rural background, he still preferred the idyllic rural life, especially since the island, with its mountains and water, was more suitable for an elderly person like him to retire in. My father's intention to leave was resolute. However, there was still a trace of reluctance in his expression, a reluctance that included my reluctance to leave Xiaoying and me, only perhaps more so for Xiaoying. My father's thinking might be that a short, sharp pain is better than a long, drawn-out one ; forcing himself to leave, according to common sense, was the most rational choice. "But Dad, please don't..." I thought of my father's previous attempts at suicide and couldn't help but remind him.

"Don't worry, with my wife here, I wouldn't be so foolish. I have someone to care about, don't I?"

My father smiled slightly at me, reassuring me, but the loneliness in his eyes and the smile on his face

seemed so incongruous.

Before I knew it, we were home. The house was dark;

it seemed Xiaoying was already asleep. My father went straight to his bedroom. I went in and saw Xiaoying

sleeping soundly, facing the bed. I changed into my pajamas in the bedroom and then went to the bathroom. When I came out

, I curiously went to the kitchen. I found the food was cold, and the pots and pans were all

neatly arranged ; it seemed no one had cooked that evening. Had Xiaoying not eaten dinner? Or had she eaten out

?

Looking at Xiaoying's back in the bedroom, I wondered if she was really asleep. My father and I were very careful

when , hoping we hadn't disturbed her rest. I quietly turned on the computer and then opened the home

security camera footage. I wanted to know what time Xiaoying arrived home tonight, and to see her reaction

and expression to gauge her true feelings. Although Xiaoying had a sexual relationship with my father, a

physical affair, I didn't want her to be emotionally unfaithful. She could share her body with my father, but Xiaoying's heart

belonged only to me. I couldn't help but

laugh and cry .

I paused the footage at the time Xiaoying usually got home from work. Tonight, she

hadn't gone anywhere else and arrived home at the usual time. From her expression as soon as she entered, she seemed

exhausted and listless. Instead of changing her shoes and going straight to the bedroom to change into her pajamas as usual,

she threw her bag on the sofa and sat down, repeatedly

massaging her temples with her hands. Xiaoying's expression was conflicted; her brows furrowed and relaxed intermittently. It was clear

she was unsettled and troubled.

After massaging her temples on the sofa for a while, she slowly walked to the kitchen, perhaps to

prepare dinner. But as she reached the kitchen and started preparing the ingredients, she realized she was still wearing her work clothes and hadn't

changed into her pajamas. Annoyed, she shook her hair, pursed her lips, put down the ingredients, and

went to the bedroom to change.

When she returned to the kitchen, she picked up the ingredients and a knife, but as she raised the knife,

hesitation crossed Xiaoying's face. She looked at the knife, then at the ingredients, and finally sighed, silently

putting them away. It was clear she was upset and had little appetite.

After tidying up the kitchen, Xiaoying began cleaning her room. Perhaps she was using tidying to

distract .

When Xiaoying tidied up the sofa, our bedroom beds, the bathroom, and her father's bedroom,

she would pause slightly. She would stare blankly at these places

, lost in thought, her face a mixture of confusion, reminiscence, and a fleeting sweetness, sometimes tinged with conflicted

emotion. As she finished tidying, her heart filled with these complex feelings, she seemed to be lost in thought

, her expression reflecting on the things she had seen. Perhaps she was recalling her

past : making love on the sofa, their intimate moments in the bathroom, and rolling around

in bed with him. Undoubtedly, her father had given her unprecedented orgasms and pleasure. Those memories, whenever

they surfaced, brought her sweetness and endless pleasure. But it seemed that everything was about to

come to an end ; those memories might forever remain just that—memories.

After tidying up the room, Xiaoying stood in the middle of the living room, just standing there blankly. Her eyes

scanned the living room, seemingly searching for something she could do to distract herself from her troubles.

However, the room was already neatly organized, and there was really nothing to do.

Xiaoying put the cleaning tools back in their place, then glanced at the digital clock above the doorway.

Perhaps she had already guessed it: her father and Aunt Zhang had already started their matchmaking at the restaurant, and her former

lover was going to belong to someone else. It was like her beloved doll had been taken away by someone else;

the reluctance and the inner turmoil were things Xiaoying couldn't avoid or control at that moment.

She glanced at the time, then at the family photo above the living room. Although Xiaoying's gaze could

cover the entire family photo, I believe that at that moment, her attention was entirely focused on her father's figure.

Finally, Xiao Ying gently tossed her hair, seemingly clearing those troubling thoughts from her mind. She sighed

, then slowly walked into our bedroom.

A hint of melancholy, completely incongruous with the setting and her beautiful appearance, appeared on her alluring figure from behind…

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