"First Love Reappears: Destiny" - (VI) Tell me the whole truth.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-10 08:12:01

Now
Feng Dingyan parked his car and followed the address to the front of a workshop converted from a warehouse. He looked at the mosaic sign hanging at the entrance. The silhouette of a girl playing with glass was reflected in the molten molten metal, and below it were gilded cursive characters that read the workshop's name, 'Yanfang'.
Feng Dingyan pushed open the door and immediately felt the air thick with the smell of high-temperature metal and steaming paint. A few steps later, he arrived at a small workshop resembling a factory. The room was filled with various sizes of specialized equipment: kilns, lightbox cutting tables, welding machines, and flat glass storage racks. So this was Luo Juan's job. No wonder she exuded that unique fiery aura; spending all her time with kilns made it unsurprising.
Luo Juan had her back to him and didn't notice anyone intruding. Feng Dingyan didn't immediately approach either, but instead observed her from a distance, enjoying her focused expression. The first time he saw Luo Juan, she was unkempt, holding a child like a country nanny visiting the city. Yesterday, however, the elegant, composed, and sophisticated Miss Luo surprised him, but it wasn't entirely unexpected. Her casual attire wasn't a choice; it didn't mean she didn't know how to look radiant. At this moment, she wore an old work uniform, and her jeans, with their worn cuffs, were at least ten years old—the typical look of a factory worker. He wondered to himself, just how many faces did Luo Juan have that he didn't know?
Luo Juan loves her work, which covers a wide range of areas—mosaic, lighting equipment, jewelry, decorations, and even small furniture—but her favorite is stained glass. She uses flames to paint transparent and translucent colors, like delicate watercolor paintings, their colors shifting and changing unpredictably. She carefully feeds glass frit into a high-temperature furnace to melt it, then takes out a long metal rod and inserts it into the furnace, concentrating on gathering the molten glass into a blazing fireball. The metal rod is continuously fed into the furnace, and the glass fireball grows thicker and thicker. She skillfully continues to rotate and heat it, adding frit glaze or porcelain sand in between, then returns to the steel table and rolls it continuously, gradually shaping the soft glass and ensuring even coloring.
A deep voice suddenly came from not far to the right, "So beautiful!"
Luo Juan was startled, but forced herself to remain calm and turned to look in the direction of the sound. Feng Dingyan stood in the doorway, leaning against a storage cabinet, his arms crossed over his chest. She couldn't help but feel nervous. How long had he been standing there?
“I found out from your father that you work here.” Feng Dingyan approached calmly and said, “I don’t want to admit it, but you keep surprising me.”
"What are you doing here?" Luo Juan lowered her head, avoiding his gaze, and continued with her work.
"I have something to tell you."
"Um?"
"Let me discuss what happened yesterday."
Luo Juan started sweating, stopped what she was doing, wiped her damp palms on her pants, straightened her back, and said stiffly, "We have nothing to discuss."
"I believe you have nothing to discuss." After talking with Luo Wensheng yesterday, Luo Juan has been avoiding him. Even after dinner, she only said that she had to accompany her parents and did not let Feng Dingyan take her home.
Feng Dingyan said, "But I have to come and thank you. This morning, your father called me to his office."
"Oh, you mean that piece of land in Changle!" Luo Juan relaxed and said without any hesitation, "I knew Dad would help you when he invited you to dinner yesterday."
“That’s right, the Chang Le plan.” Feng Dingyan narrowed his eyes and took a few more steps forward. He stared at her intently, like a hawk, and asked, “What did you think I came here to discuss?”
“No,” Luo Juan quickly denied, then added, “Okay, I accept your thanks.”
She stood up and smiled politely at him, looking like she was about to run away. Feng Dingyan stepped forward first, blocking her way. Luo Juan raised the hot metal rod, and he could only tactfully step aside, but he had no intention of letting Luo Juan off the hook. He added thoughtfully, "You thought I was going to pursue you, right? That's why you were surprised."
Luo Juan swallowed with difficulty, but still maintained an air of superiority. "Of course not. What era are we living in? Nobody would take responsibility for... for... such a... trivial matter."
"A trivial matter?" Feng Dingyan raised an eyebrow and said in a very low voice, "You mean I lifted your skirt, broke your hymen, and fucked you—such a trivial matter?"
Luo Juan flinched. "Please, be kind and don't bring it up again, okay?"
"I didn't mean any harm."
"I guessed so." This awkward conversation made Luo Juan increasingly uncomfortable. She wanted Feng Dingyan to leave quickly, otherwise it would end with her making a fool of herself again. Luo Juan forced herself to say, "Listen, I still have a lot of work to do, you see..."
Feng Dingyan still had a lot to say and ask, and he didn't plan to leave easily, but he also knew that Luo Juan was busy at the moment. "Can I watch you work? I'll be very quiet and definitely won't disturb you."
How could you not bother me?
Luo Juan smiled bitterly to herself. With Feng Dingyan by her side, she would constantly think of his face and scent; she was lucky if her hands didn't tremble. Yet, an impulse made her want to perform in front of him, just like her elaborate outfit yesterday. She wanted him to know that she was not only beautiful, but also intelligent and talented. Luo Juan sat down and focused her mind. This was a task she was familiar with and good at, so she quickly calmed down. She hadn't forgotten that Feng Dingyan was beside her, but she truly needed to sit quietly, shutting out all the surrounding noise, and quickly immersing her mind and attention entirely in her work.
Feng Dingyan observed for a while, then began to examine the converted warehouse studio, quickly noticing that one wall had been extended outwards. He guessed it was an office or rest area, but upon closer inspection, it was much more than that. This section had clearly been expanded, resembling a dormitory. Two rows of rooms were connected by a long corridor, each door adorned with various unique and delicate glass designs. The people here obviously treated their work as their home and their home as their work. Feng Dingyan secretly wondered if Luo Juan also lived here. Almost instinctively, he walked through each room, finally stopping in front of a door with a flame symbol.
Feng Dingyan tried the doorknob and opened it easily. He cautiously pushed the door open and, finding no one inside, went in. Looking at a family photo on the wall, he was certain this was Luo Juan's room. Curious, Feng Dingyan surveyed Luo Juan's little world. The room was only fifteen square meters. Aside from the bathroom, there were no partitions; furniture simply divided the room into several small spaces. The design was simple yet clean and comfortable. The most striking feature was the display shelf covering an entire wall, filled with various glassware and artwork. Bottles, jars, and plates were the most numerous, interspersed with small models, ornaments, and jewelry. Feng Dingyan walked forward, examining each item with great interest.
When he returned to the studio, the sun had already set, and the evening glow painted the sky and city in a magnificent display. Luo Juan was carefully wrapping a cooked plate and placing it in a box, then scribbling on her workbench. Feng Dingyan tried to take deep breaths to calm his rapidly beating heart, then stepped forward, quietly approached her from behind, and lowered his head to kiss the back of her neck.
Luo Juan gasped softly, dropping her pen onto the table. She turned to look at him, smiling nervously, "Um...you scared me."
Feng Dingyan stared intently at her, nodded, and said, "I know."
Intuition told Luo Juan that something was wrong with Feng Dingyan. She was a little scared and tried to move her hips away to avoid close physical contact with him. "Feng Dingyan, you...you're too close."
"Hmm? I think it's just right." Feng Dingyan pressed down on her shoulders, wrapped his arms around her chest and tightened them, so that her entire back was pressed tightly against his chest.
“一会儿有人要来用炉子。”罗娟拉住冯鼎言的胳膊想要扯开，想想又觉得意思不对劲儿，赶紧解释道：“我的意思是，你在这儿的时间够久了。现在长乐的项目既然有了进展，你应该很忙才是。”
冯鼎言只是沉沉低笑，他将面颊埋在她的秀发中，深深吸了口气，然后胳膊上施加些力气，牵引着她向她的房间走去。罗娟的脚步虽然仍跟着他移动，但是大部分重量都是他在支撑。
两人来到她的房间门口站定，罗娟觉得很奇怪，“你怎么知道——”
“进去啊。”冯鼎言低语。
罗娟刚要拒绝，却被冯鼎言一使劲儿，整个人被抱进门里。他回头关好门上锁，再次将她拥入怀中。冯鼎言俯下头望向那张美丽容颜，稍稍翘起嘴角，“你非常漂亮，以前有别的男人告诉你吗？”
罗娟不语，像是被催眠似的看着他。
冯鼎言两只手捧着她的脸，又说：“我不知道。”
罗娟仍然不语，她听见冯鼎言在说什么，但却跟不上他的思路，只是在不知不觉中努力平稳呼吸，可满鼻子都是冯鼎言身上散发的高级香皂和刮胡水味道。罗娟有点儿头晕，赶紧退后几步，从冯鼎言的怀中退开。
“你在说什么啊？”罗娟不喜欢他这种暧昧的语气，更不喜欢和他在自己的小窝里独处。然而冯鼎言很显然没有立刻离开的意思，他让她紧张，他总是有这种能力。
冯鼎言将罗娟的反应瞧在眼里，只是笑笑。自然而然，两人目光落在罗娟的展示架上。他满眼的欣赏，问道：“这些全是你设计的？很漂亮呢！”
罗娟稍稍放松下来，玻璃是她熟悉的话题，也是安全的话题，她可以应付。她客客气气承认：“当然，不漂亮怎么卖钱啊！”
“你没觉得可惜么，玻璃好是好，却容易碎。”冯鼎言语气中有些遗憾。
罗娟好像被问过千百次这样的问题，她不假思索回道：“看你怎么想，我最稳定的一项收入就是为五花八门的喜庆场合做漂亮瓶子，尤其是婚礼，一百个瓶子齐刷刷摆排，放礼花炮竹时同时爆裂，‘百年好合、岁岁平安’。”
“啊，这倒是。”冯鼎言随手拿起一个嵌在盒子里的项链，指尖碰碰里面的天鹅坠子。
“看就好，别动。”罗娟将链盒从他手中夺回来，小心翼翼放在原处。
冯鼎言也不介意，只是对那个项链的坠子抬抬下巴，不经意说道：“你知道，我曾经见过一模一样的天鹅，只不过样子要小很多。”
“这很正常，天鹅美丽、纯洁、优雅，而且一生只有一个伴侣，是忠诚、勇敢和永恒爱情的象征，非常讨喜的鸟儿。”
冯鼎言手臂一紧把她转个圈，罗娟吓了一跳，赶紧抓住他的肩膀稳住自己。她有些诧异，发现一向镇定沉着的冯鼎言双手竟然有些发抖。
冯鼎言吸了一口气，缓慢说道：“那只天鹅嵌在一个耳坠里，酒店，床上，而我光着身子。”
罗娟顿时觉得有如从火山口摔进冰山底儿。她僵硬半秒，立刻狂野地挥动手臂，扭动身体背朝着他，手肘撞向他的腹部，“你在说什么？放手！放手！”
“停下来，娟儿。”冯鼎言紧紧搂住她，设法说道，“我对艺术家的脾气，可没有太多耐性。”
罗娟没有注意他在直呼她的小名，就算注意了也顾不得那么多。她像一只受到惊吓的小鸟儿，使劲儿拍打翅膀，迫切想要逃走。冯鼎言突然放手，罗娟失去平衡，一下子倒到床上。冯鼎言顺势攫住罗娟的腰，把她压在床上，挤出她肺中的空气。他不想伤害她，但他似乎没有选择的余地。
“卑鄙，你故意的！”罗娟费力地喘息，勉强抬起身子。
“你要我放手的。”
罗娟停止挣扎，只用那双黑眸射出谋杀似的眼神。
冯鼎言根本不在乎，说道：“要杀就杀，尽管来。”
“放开我。”
冯鼎言像座山似的压在她身上，干净利落地说：“告诉我，全部的事实。”
“你没有权利……”
冯鼎言紧紧抓着罗娟的双臂，钢爪般的手指一用力，“答案不够正确，再说一遍。”
罗娟痛得嘶嘶吸气，可仍然倔强地说道：“你不放开我，我一个字也不说。”
冯鼎言低头审视，罗娟毫不示弱回瞪。片刻，他终于松手，勉强退开身子，但仍然保持警觉，以防罗娟再想逃开。
罗娟不曾尝试，看着冯鼎言的神色也从愤怒渐渐变成懊恼、担心，还有很多难以名状的情绪。最终，她只是静静躺着，凝视天花板，仿佛在回忆、仿佛在犹豫该从哪里开始。脑袋是个不可思议的地方，她从来不会回想，甚至以为已经忘掉，然而那些记忆不仅存在，而且还能忽然被翻搅起来。
“为什么？”罗娟终于出声问道：“那些过去对你并不愉快，甚至可以说痛恨，你为什么这会儿非要让我提呢？”
“因为我是个男人，而且是个笨蛋。”冯鼎言仍然一眼不眨盯着她。
这个答案完全符合她的预期。老天爷在各方面都给冯鼎言太多，却偏偏忘了给他一个记住她的脑子。
罗娟叹口气，开始讲述对她意义非凡的那个下午。她扭脚逃学，爸爸接她从学校出来，然后带她去生态园吃饭。热闹的包间里，焦点都在冯鼎言一个人身上。所有人都夸他是个好孩子，给冯叔争气。罗娟的心思却没在饭桌上，只是惦记着门厅里的那个玻璃金鱼，即使吃完饭，还守着金鱼不舍得走，冯鼎言走到她跟前。
“这是怎么雕出来的？要是我也会就好了！”罗娟羡慕地赞叹。
“来我们学校工艺美术学院吧。陶瓷、玻璃、金属设计，都是数一数二的专业。你可要用功呢，竞争很激烈的。”
罗娟点点头，只觉得这天的逃学实在太值了。她不仅知道将来要学玻璃艺术，而且记住一个大学名字，并以此为目标，向工艺学院努力奋斗。
冯鼎言听到这儿不禁裂开嘴，笑着和她一起回忆，“可不是，我们大学的工艺学院很出名的，门厅里放了个工业革命时期的巨型染布机，让人以为走进机械学院似的，而——”
罗娟立刻接口：“机械学院的门厅是一副巨大的抽象画，装饰得倒像是工艺学院……你当时就是这么告诉我的。”
她犹豫一下，继续说道：“你稀疏平常一句话，让我有了奔头。三年后，我考了进去。当时傻乎乎的，没有意识到就在那天，我遇见这辈子最爱的一样东西，还有最爱的一个人。”
冯鼎言像被武功高手点了穴似的两眼瞪着罗娟，想要说什么，可嘴巴动了一两下又闭住。那天对他又何尝不是意义重大，这辈子最敬爱的一个人原来和他没有关系，最想做的事情也不再有任何意义。
沉默了很久，冯鼎言才问道：“你为什么会在酒店？”
“我看见你躺在街上昏迷不醒，不可能不管啊！只不过，我以为你只是皮肉伤，没想到连脑子也神志不清了。”
“我之前在酒吧被下了药。”
“我不知道。”
“所以，我以为是幻觉的事情，真的发生了？”
罗娟苦笑一声，“等你开始叫周晓的名字时，已经晚了。”
“噢，娟儿……”冯鼎言将罗娟僵硬的身体拉入怀中紧紧拥抱，“你个白痴，我不知道，我……你为什么不来找我？”
“是啊，为什么？我能说什么？冯鼎言，嗨，好久不见，你壮了些、瘦了些，也黑了些，时间在你脸上划出一些痕迹，让你看上去更为成熟，也更加英俊。你一定会露出诧异的样子，‘嗯？我们有见过面么？’啊，是了，我忘了，我在你的世界根本不存在。”
罗娟停下来，感觉泪水涌出，烧灼着双眼。她想躲起来，可最后只能抓着冯鼎言的衣服，把脸埋在里面才放心流下眼泪。她挣扎着想要停下来，却没想越哭越厉害。冯鼎言也不说话，只是拥着她，抚着她的背，亲着她的脑袋，等她的哭泣渐渐平息。
罗娟终于止住抽泣，放下他的衣服，推开他。
“我很遗憾，真的。”冯鼎言拨开她脸颊上的柔软发丝，手指从她的太阳穴滑到下颚。
罗娟想从他手掌中抽出来，却发现脖子不听使唤。她紧咬下唇，咽下更多泪水，迎上他的目光，说道：“没事儿，已经很久了，而且我从来没有对任何人谈起。我没办法，那是非常难开口的事儿。”
“没关系，你绝对有权力生气。”
“过去的记忆实在不愉快，而我也不愿意再有那种感觉，但和你抱怨生气没有道理，把气发在你身上是不公平的。”
“除了我，你还能出在谁身上？”
眼泪又冒出来，罗娟竭力忍住，“不要这样，没有必要。你没做错什么，只是不记得我而已。”
“这不一样。”冯鼎言低语：“发生在你我之间的事，是前所未有的经验。我只知道自己原本打算在事情演变到这个地步前住手，也一直相信我办得到。可是或许我根本不想住手，因为我并没有那么做。”
“我想……或许……”冯鼎言皱眉，而她看见他的颧骨有些泛红，“我变得……在乎你。”
罗娟抬起头，害怕看到他的眼神，又忍不住想看。“不，你只是安慰我，你不需要这么做，因为——”
“罗娟，刚才我一直在你的房间。你知道我有多高兴终于找到你么？”
冯鼎言也没想到私闯罗娟的房间会有这样的结果。他在展示架前一个个看过去，注意到很多装饰品上都刻画着一只绿天鹅。乍一看到这些绿天鹅，他只是有些奇怪，莫名其妙觉得很熟悉，而且伴随着挥之不去的疑惑，尖叫着要求他努力思索、记忆。终于，他想起多年前和陈俊祎相识的那一天，还有他们在酒店的交谈和争执。直到快离开，冯鼎言才在床上发现一个耳坠。那耳坠的设计很奇特，不是珠子、滴水、叶子的寻常玩意儿，竟然是只小巧优雅的天鹅。他当时也纳闷过，如果是周晓的，以前怎么会没注意？
意识到那只耳坠属于罗娟时，冯鼎言的眼眸瞬间睁大。他伸手扒过头发，试图消化眼前所见的事实。这好像很疯狂，可是却又无比真实。许多事情都有了合理的解释——罗娟的单身，固执、愤怒以及喜怒无常。这也解释了为什么他在拥抱、亲吻罗娟时，会对她有那种奇怪的熟悉感。罗娟在他面前，泄漏了许多她隐藏多年的情感。意识到这点让冯鼎言忽然想笑，罗娟显然非常爱他，而且看样子是有年头的那种。那么他对她呢？至少在半路上了吧。
“娟儿，我知道我没让我们两人开个好头儿，但给我们一个机会，一个真正的机会。”
罗娟猛得后退，好像冯鼎言提出一个要命杀人的建议。
冯鼎言捧住她的脑袋，强迫她抬起视线，“这次我不会搞砸的，相信我。”
罗娟没有回应，她双唇紧闭、文风不动，姿态顽固而僵硬。冯鼎言有趣地发现，这个漂亮娇小的吹瓶子妞儿，纤细的身躯看似柔软无骨，却远比他想像的结实有力。
冯鼎言覆上她的嘴，贪婪而迫不及待地亲吻。罗娟抬起手像要推开他，但颤抖的手指最终还是捧住他的后脑。她无法拒绝他，就如同无法停止爱他。泪水再次从睫毛下涌出，一滴泪水滑下她的嘴角。冯鼎言双唇移开她的嘴，滑向她的面颊。他没问她为什么哭，也没有任何不安，只是把她搂紧，用自己的存在抚慰她。
两人的唇胶合着，一阵饥渴的呻吟自冯鼎言喉咙溢出。他的手熟练的探入罗娟的衣服中，碰触光滑的肌肤，接着伸进蕾丝内衣，拇指磨蹭乳尖，直至小巧的乳尖在他玩弄中挺立。
罗娟因他的抚触出而颤栗，一种混合欲望和放松的情绪逐渐蔓延。她的手滑到后背，想更贴身了解他，但他不给她机会。冯鼎言抬起身体，先是除去罗娟的鞋子，然后打开牛仔裤的扣子，一手缓缓沿着圆润柔软的腿向下爱抚，顺势剥下她的裤子，之后再将上衣脱去。
冯鼎言低头亲吻裸露的皮肤，罗娟发出急促的轻喘，指甲掐进他肩膀，又紧抓他的背脊。他沿着她的身躯亲吻，让她熟悉他的爱抚。罗娟喘息地弓起身子，鼓励他的唇抚弄她的乳头，旋转的感觉在她体内窜升。他加重力道，直到罗娟的双腿开始焦急地磨蹭，身体扭动着想更贴近他，他才脱下她的内裤和内衣，将最后一道遮挡除去。
冯鼎言站起身，一边将自己脱个精光，戴好保险套，一边盯着罗娟。她的脸上、身上已经潮红一片。他躺回到她身边，手指穿过她两腿间柔软毛发，那里已经非常湿润肿胀。他温柔地爱抚，寻找最敏感的地方。罗娟几乎由床上飘起来，她两腿乱蹬，慌张地坐起来一个劲儿往后躲。冯鼎言扣住她的腰将她拉回原位牢牢固定，接着继续以拇指爱抚。
罗娟几乎喘不过气，在他的爱抚下扭动身躯，不由自主贴近他的手指。冯鼎言滑入两只手指，微微向上勾起。狂喜的浪潮让她魂飞天外，叫喊着挺起腰肢，差点将他一起带走。他硬撑着再次回到她身上，趁罗娟高潮尚未退去，缓缓进入她紧小火热的身体，火热潮湿和紧实让冯鼎言舒爽得溢出呻吟。他稳住心神，等她适应之后才开始抽动，一边动还一边亲吻罗娟的下巴、锁骨和乳房，温柔而甜蜜。
这对罗娟是一种全新的体验，起初虽然有些火辣辣的疼痛，但在冯鼎言富有韵律的撞击下，逐渐被舒服所取代。昏昏沉沉中，她的嗓子实在闷不住，发出呜咽的呻吟。
冯鼎言看了罗娟一眼，稍稍迟疑，可还是定住自己，然后把她双腿抬高到肩膀，再次用力刺进去。他身体下压，罗娟的胸部在大腿挤压下变得扁平，呻吟也不复存在，反倒随着冯鼎言的撞击挺动身子，嘶哑的叫喊从喉咙里泄出。
见到罗娟的反应，冯鼎言越发起劲。他直起身子，一边快速进出，一边转头亲吻搭在肩上的小腿，同时看着罗娟小小的脚趾蜷起来，涂着粉红指甲油的指甲盖和白白嫩嫩的指头搭在一起，显得格外可爱好看。冯鼎言克制不住，握住她的一只小脚放到嘴边，张嘴将脚趾含入嘴里仔细吮吸。
体内的撞击加上脚趾的湿痒，罗娟立刻受不了了，仰起头推着冯鼎言肩膀，叫声越来越高亢，体内更是不断收缩，身体也越来越烫。
罗娟的高潮反应激着冯鼎言更加亢奋，抓着罗娟的膝盖打开到最大按压到床上，迫使她的下身高高抬起。他深吐了几口气，开始更快更深的抽插。罗娟不安的扭动身子来躲避，却不知道这给冯鼎言带来别样快感。他的呼吸越来越重，猛然低头一口将罗娟的乳房吸入口中，下身有如马达似的不断起伏，直到她双手扣住他的脖子，瓦解他最后一丝自制。
冯鼎言喘息着侧着身子重重摔躺在罗娟身旁，从剧烈的心跳和呼吸中努力恢复过来。罗娟筋疲力竭地躺在枕头上，黑色的秀发凌乱地披散在肩上。但是，在她仰头望向冯鼎言时，她的脸上辐射出喜悦的光芒，深深触及冯鼎言内心最深处。
凌晨某个时候，罗娟在沉睡中感觉背部滚烫，她稍稍撤离，却碰到一条强壮的手臂。罗娟猛地惊醒，了解她旁边是谁以及两人做过什么，羞得她只想赶紧逃离。冯鼎言的手往上移动并握住她的胸脯，乳头立刻敏感地绷紧。不可能这么快，罗娟沮丧地想着。但是，在冯鼎言的唇落向她的背部时，她翻转身体抓住他的头发，急切地吻住他的唇。
冯鼎言毫不留情蹂躏，以缓慢的爱抚折磨她，直到她放荡地扭动身体。在他终于用膝盖拨开她的双腿时，罗娟发出喜悦的呐喊。这次，他更加深入地冲刺，引爆令罗娟惊骇的激情。但是，冯鼎言的唇和手迅速引导她配合好节奏。她感觉到他涨满她的体内，甚至已经碰触子宫。罗娟抽搐得更加厉害，牢牢扣住他，发出折磨人的呻吟，直到两人挣脱束缚，再次冲向高潮。
冯鼎言翻转身子，将丝被裹住两人紧紧贴合的身躯。在温暖与疲惫中逐渐坠入睡乡。他梦见罗娟柔嫩的手臂拥抱他，在他胸前、腰际和腿上游移。她温柔地爱抚挑逗，可是绝不去碰他最需要的部位，而他似乎无法抓住她的手腕，不可置信地挫败。冯鼎言用尽全力清醒过来，张开眼睛看着幽暗的房间。罗娟就躺在身边，这次他抓得住她了。他握住罗娟的小手，拉着往下移动，将她的手指包裹住他，愉悦的感觉直冲脑门。
他们在黎明前再次醒来。
Feng Dingyan parted her legs. Luo Juan was in too much pain to respond, but he was already erect with need, clearly not allowing any refusal. How could she possibly refuse him? As he finally took her, Luo Juan found herself already prepared to accept him. She sobbed beneath Feng Dingyan, incoherently begging him to let her go. He finally released her, quickening his pace to bring her to a powerful climax.
Afterwards, they lay exhausted until the morning light filtered through the curtains. Luo Juan reached for her shirt by the bedside, and only after feeling less ashamed did she sit up amidst the messy sheets and put on her clothes. Feng Dingyan lay sprawled on the floor with his eyes closed and head tilted to one side, his hair disheveled, his bare back revealing strong muscles. She couldn't resist reaching out to touch his sexy and powerful body.
"I'll remember next time that your back is especially sensitive." Feng Dingyan suddenly said in a muffled voice. Although he was exhausted after having sex with Luo Juan, being with her gave him a new sense of strength.
Luo Juan was startled. "I thought you were asleep."
"Almost." Feng Dingyan didn't open his eyes. "You exhausted me."
She felt her whole body turn red. "Oh."
Feng Dingyan opened his eyes, revealing a languid and alluring look. "So?"
Luo Juan looked at him, puzzled. "So what?"
Feng Dingyan smiled, propped up the pillow, leaned back against the headboard, clasped his hands behind his head, and observed her intently. "Are you more satisfied this time?"
Luo Juan blushed furiously, her whole body burning hot; the sheets felt like they were on fire. Feng Dingyan couldn't help but smile, slightly rising to pull her back to his side. Her black hair cascaded over his chest, her eyes alluringly half-closed, her full red lips swollen from his kisses, and her loose-fitting top didn't prevent him from admiring her full breasts, slender waist, and rounded hips. Feng Dingyan rubbed his nose against her neck, regretting that he shouldn't have spent more time gazing at her naked, alluring body.
Luo Juan lay in Feng Dingyan's arms, her face resting on his shoulder. Her heart was in turmoil, filled with unease and fear. A thought that had been hidden in her heart for many years unexpectedly surfaced: "You can't remember, and you can't see."
Feng Dingyan understood what she was thinking without breaking a sweat. He sighed and admitted, "That's right, I can't remember, I can't see, and I don't know what I want. It's incredibly foolish of me not to have noticed you. If I spend even five minutes with you, I will never let you go."
Luo Juan smiled and said, "You make it sound like I'm some kind of charming person, but that's obviously not true. I ran into you on my first day of school, at the school bookstore, and you even saved me a few dollars."
Feng Dingyan raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Is that so?"
Luo Juan remembered every detail and recounted her chance encounter with him in detail. She spoke casually and naturally, but Feng Dingyan's expression was tense. He stared at her without saying a word, and after a moment of silence, he finally spoke: "Men's pride is much more fragile than you think. We easily mistake avoidance for disinterest, and silence for indifference. You could have made a little effort. If you had just smiled at me when you approached me, and given me a few hints, I would have pounced on you like a hungry tiger and pulled you into my arms."
Luo Juan stared at him with wide, almond-shaped eyes. She had never thought of it that way before. Was she also partly responsible for this long, pitiful unrequited love? She said thoughtfully, "You mean if I overcome my shyness and compete with your girlfriend, is there any chance I could win you over?"
"Zhou Xiao?" Feng Dingyan chuckled softly, pulling her into his arms and leaning back against the headboard, looking up at the gentle breeze blowing through the treetops outside the window. He thought for a moment, since they'd already come this far, he might as well go all the way.
"Zhou Xiao is very beautiful. I won her over before I even knew all my college classmates' names. She's not only smart, but also has a great personality—dignified, well-behaved, conservative, and quiet. From music to food, from sports to movies, she likes everything I like and dislikes everything I dislike. Zhou Xiao doesn't just pander to me; she's genuinely like me. We never argue, we laugh at jokes together, and we never complain when we're busy. In short, she's always—"
“The most perfect one,” Luo Juan added.
"Yes, I told myself I was the luckiest person in the world to find a girl like Zhou Xiao. But I was always worried, inexplicably worried."
"Why? Isn't perfection enough for you?" Luo Juan's voice became noticeably sharper.
Feng Dingyan met her gaze and said, "If things are too perfect, it only indicates that they are not real."
"You want to find flaws in a perfect woman? My God, why? You're so harsh on her."
"I didn't need to look for anyone. When I graduated, I finally realized that I was sleeping with someone else's woman."
Luo Juan noticed his choice of words; the word "also" spoke volumes. She crossed her arms over his chest, rested her chin on her hands, and asked, "Is your cynicism due to your father?"
Feng Dingyan looked incredulous. "You really have guts! You actually called me a bastard to my face!"
Luo Juan was startled and straightened up, covering Feng Dingyan's mouth with her small hand to stop him from continuing. Knowing his sensitivity about his background, she quickly denied it, saying, "I never said that!"
Feng Dingyan's lips curved slightly, but there was no smile. "But you just mentioned my father. My surname is Feng, and my father is buried in the Martyrs' Cemetery draped in the national flag. You are obviously not referring to him."
Luo Juan was speechless for a moment, "I...I didn't mean that."
"Relax," Feng Dingyan pulled her back into his arms, "That's not important, that person isn't important."
Luo Juan breathed a sigh of relief, shifting her body to make herself comfortable. After a while, she said leisurely, "Actually, you're not important. I've loved you my whole life, and I've long accepted that this is an insignificant thing in life. I never thought about waiting for a happy ending. I sleep, eat, and work as usual. I'm beautiful when I should be, I work hard when I should be, I cry when I should cry, and I laugh when I should laugh. All these years, I've been searching for a suitable man, to get married, have children, and grow old together. I will be a good wife and a good mother, taking care of him, caring for him, supporting him, and respecting him. I will definitely manage my marriage carefully, and I will be very happy."
Luo Juan turned her face and stared at Feng Dingyan, her eyes reflecting the light of the chandelier, her expression devoid of any joking tone. She emphasized again, "You are not important! No matter what you said or did to me, or what you didn't say or do, it's all unimportant. I just... can't let go, can't forget, you are just... irreplaceable, forever in my heart..."
Feng Dingyan's expression was solemn, but his eyes shone with a bright and delighted light. He wanted to speak, but found his throat was choked with pain, and in the end, he could only say in a hoarse voice:
"I'm so lucky to have met you."

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"First Love Reappears: Destiny" - (VI) Tell me the whole truth.

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