That year, that person, that event (mengshiximen)

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Spring has arrived again, and rapeseed flowers bloom in the fields, vast expanses of golden yellow. Every time I see rapeseed flowers, I'm transported back to the year I graduated from middle school, also in spring, also the season of blooming rapeseed flowers.
These days, I wonder what activities middle school students do before graduation. Back then, we didn't have much to do, just writing graduation messages in our notebooks and taking photos with our best friends. But what I want to say starts with our graduation photos.
In front of our school was a large open field that, in spring, became an endless sea of rapeseed flowers. That day, a few of my childhood friends went to the fields to take pictures, each with their own camera, posing amidst the rapeseed flowers. After taking quite a few, feeling we were almost done, one of my best friends called me to wait a moment. He jogged back to school, bringing a girl. We all knew this girl; she was from the humanities review class next door, named A-Ping. That's when we realized they were dating. We busied ourselves posing them and taking photos of them together.
After the event, my buddies and I couldn't help but tease our classmate for not being a good friend, saying she was dating someone and didn't even tell us. But A-Ping was very generous; she introduced everyone, and we chatted and laughed, officially starting our initial interaction with her.
Time flew by, and graduation came in the blink of an eye. After the college entrance exam, everyone went their separate ways, silently waiting for the greatest blessing of their lives—the university acceptance letter
. Waiting was agonizing. My home was in the small town where my high school was located. My parents worked in other cities, and being single, I was rarely home during the day. Back then, there were no internet cafes, so I'd go to school to play ball, go ice skating, or meet up with some classmates to catch fish in a small river on the edge of town—anything to kill time.

That evening, I got home very late. As soon as I entered, I heard a very faint voice calling my name and saw a girl—the girl I'd almost forgotten. You all know who I am now, right, it was A-Ping.
It turns out my classmate's family doesn't live in our town; his home is dozens of kilometers away. He hadn't contacted A-Ping after graduation. Girls are more concerned about their boyfriends' attention, and over time, they become less reserved. Knowing I live in town, he wanted to ask for my contact information.
To be honest, I hadn't contacted A-Ping's boyfriend either; I only knew he lived in some small town, but I didn't know his exact location. After inviting A-Ping into the guest room, I explained everything to her, and she seemed quite disappointed.
A little while later, she asked about my family situation and, knowing I usually eat noodles for dinner, immediately went to the kitchen to cook for me. There were plenty of vegetables in the refrigerator, though I rarely cook at home. In no time, a table full of hot food was ready. But it was already getting dark.
I invited her to stay for dinner. It was hot, it was summer vacation, so we drank two bottles of ice-cold beer, which was quite enjoyable.
After we finished settling in, I noticed she seemed hesitant; I knew she was considering accommodation. Her family doesn't live in our town; it took her several hours by bus to get here. I arranged for her to stay in the room next to mine, which is a guest room in my house. It's very clean, and most guests stay there.
We sat in the living room and chatted for a long time, about happy things at school and mutual friends. We talked until very late. Since it was hot, we talked until the heat started to subside, and then we realized it was getting late and we should rest. I went to the bathroom to take a shower first, and then asked her to do the same. She had brought her own clothes, so she was prepared.
We then went to our respective rooms to sleep. To be honest, I'm a complete virgin, and I rarely have the opportunity to be alone with a gentle and considerate girl. This feeling was very subtle; I felt a little itchy inside, but I could control myself because she was my brother's girlfriend. I tossed and turned until very late before finally falling asleep. In my dream, I also had a girlfriend, very gentle and considerate. Her face wasn't very clear, but I felt she looked a lot like A-Ping.
At dawn, half-asleep, I habitually got up to urinate. Only after finishing did I remember A-Ping. An uncontrollable thought suddenly surfaced: I wanted to go to her room, see her, and kiss her—that was all. The guest room door wasn't locked. I gently pushed it open. Because of the new environment, I had told A-Ping not to turn off the lights, so I saw her lying on the bed, fast asleep, wearing only her underwear and without a blanket, looking very peaceful. I hesitated for a long time before daring to approach. I had never seen a beautiful girl so close before, looking without restraint. Her soft, fleshy skin, her flowing black hair, her rosy lips, her proud breasts, her flat stomach, and her long legs all made my heart race and my breathing quicken. I don't know where I got the courage, but I grabbed A-Ping's head and kissed her. Perhaps my movements were too forceful, because I woke her up abruptly. She looked at me with alarm. Neither of us spoke; time seemed to stand still at that moment.
I don't know how much time passed before I realized how ashamed I was. I ran out of the room as if fleeing and returned to my bedroom. My heart was still pounding, and my breathing was still heavy.
I was worried she would disappear immediately, because then I would have hurt a good girl; I also hoped she would disappear immediately, because I didn't know how to face her. I can't
quite describe my feelings at that moment. I seemed to be thinking about a lot of things, or maybe I wasn't thinking about anything at all; my mind was completely blank.
Suddenly, I thought I heard a sound from the next room. Because the soundproofing in the old house wasn't very good, the sounds of her dressing and walking were very clear. Yes, she was leaving. I couldn't stay here and be at everyone's mercy any longer. I wanted to go out and stop her, to tell her to wait until it was fully light, but I didn't dare.
Her footsteps were clearly audible as she walked out of the room, past my door, and headed towards the front door. The footsteps suddenly stopped, as if she had stopped at my door, perhaps to scold me before leaving. I deserved to be scolded.
A knock on the door, once, twice, clearly audible. I didn't dare make a sound, pretending not to hear.
"Open the door
!" There was no escaping it; she was calling. Helpless, I mechanically got up, opened the door, and she stood there, expressionless. I knew she was about to start yelling, so I had no choice but to invite her into the room. The room was messy, and there was nowhere to sit, so she looked around and sat on the bed.
"What kind of person do you think I am? Do you think I'm the kind of person who's promiscuous?" A-Ping asked me.
"You misunderstand. I lost control for a moment. You're too beautiful; I couldn't control myself. It has nothing to do with you."
"I've never felt that you had any feelings for me. I've known you since school. Before you met my boyfriend, you just hung out with a bunch of guys every day. I've never seen you have any contact with any girls." A-Ping said,
"Yes, I wasn't very interested in girls before. Many of my buddies in school dated, but I never dated. I never had those feelings." I'll tell you the truth!
"Then why are you suddenly acting like this towards me? Have you ever done this to anyone else before?"
"Just this once, I swear."
"Okay, I believe it's just youthful restlessness, I don't blame you
." Hearing this, I felt like I'd been granted a pardon, and I cheered up. I repeatedly apologized to A-Ping.
A-Ping was quite magnanimous, saying, "Come to bed with me, do you really think I'm a judge?"
I quickly sat down on the edge of the bed, very close to A-Ping, and I could clearly smell the youthful fragrance emanating from her.
"I'm sorry, I've never done anything to girls before, but when you came in, I had the urge to kiss you and touch you. Am I morally corrupt? Besides, you're my friend's man."
"Your words are full of holes. Just because you had those thoughts doesn't mean you have a moral problem. It's human nature. Besides, I don't belong to anyone, I'm not an object, I'm my own person." Aping corrected me,
"What you say always makes sense. If I could marry a girl like you, that would be enough for my whole life." I looked at her seriously,
and she tilted her head to look at me, very seriously, as if she wanted to see through me.
Suddenly, A-Ping grabbed my head and kissed my lips. The feeling, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before, stunned me. I could only let A-Ping kiss me, her tongue freely venturing into my mouth. Her tongue was sweet,
teasing my tongue tip. I felt my blood rushing to my head, and I reciprocated, my tongue plundering her mouth in return. She held me tighter and tighter. I was surprised at how strong she was, so seemingly frail. Her breasts pressed firmly against my chest, and I returned the embrace, casually placing my hand near her breast and grasping it tightly. The feel was wonderful, unlike anything I'd ever experienced. She didn't react. I gripped her breast again. She probably knew it wasn't unintentional, but she still didn't protest, still lost in the kiss.
My actions grew bolder. I was both afraid and hesitant. I tried to unbutton A-Ping's coat, but she remained indifferent. I lost my fear and clumsily tried to unbutton her blouse, but she held me tightly, making it impossible to remove. I laid her down on the bed, forcefully lifting my head and releasing her tightly embracing me. She looked at me with tenderness. At that moment, I knew I was about to lose my virginity; I felt it.
I took off A-Ping's top and bra, revealing her proud, white breasts, so dazzling. I had only touched them a few times before, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. I didn't realize how large a girl's breasts could be. They felt incredibly elastic to the touch, and her nipples, small and fleshy yellow, were very attractive.
I continued with what I was doing next, starting to take off A-Ping's pants. As I unbuttoned and pulled down her pants, A-Ping actually lifted her hips to help. My face flushed and my heart pounded as I pulled down A-Ping's pants and shorts completely. Her alluring body came into view. Her mysterious triangle was so perfect, her abdominal lines were clear, without any excess fat, and her mons pubis had sparse pubic hair, which complemented her white skin perfectly. I also noticed that her labia minora were a little unusual; they were asymmetrical, the right one larger than the left. With trembling hands, I tried to pry open her labia minora to see her vaginal opening—the paradise I'd dreamed of for almost twenty years. A-Ping seemed a little uncomfortable, squeezing her legs together slightly, but I didn't force her. I knew there was no need to rush, telling myself to take it slow.
I began kissing A-Ping's entire body—her features, her breasts, her abdomen, her pubic hair. After kneeling at her crotch and using my tongue to part her labia minora, I finally saw her vaginal opening—a small, pinkish opening. Clear fluid was visible from her perineum. I slowly kissed her clitoris and vaginal opening; it had a very special, arousing scent. A-Ping's eyes remained closed, sometimes furrowing her brow. I worried she might be uncomfortable, but later realized it was a pleasurable experience.
I took off my clothes; I was already fully erect. All that rest and recuperation was for this moment. I lay on top of A-Ping. She seemed frightened, so I comforted her, whispering something in her ear. I pulled A-Ping's hand over and placed it on my genitals, but she immediately pulled her hand back. I didn't want to make things difficult for her and eagerly began the actual act. I tried to insert it into the area I felt, but
after several attempts, I couldn't get it in; it felt like something was blocking the vaginal opening. I got impatient and pushed it straight in through the opening. This time it went in, but it felt very tight, almost like it was constricting my penis. A-Ping still frowned; I could tell she was in real pain. I slowly moved in and out, slowly enjoying the pleasure of sex. Her vagina was warm; I had never known or thought about what the temperature inside a vagina was. A-Ping started gripping me tightly, cooperating with my movements, responding to my thrusts, moaning. I started to increase the speed, but A-Ping begged me, "No, no." I felt like A-Ping was a virgin; I thought she must have slept with her boyfriend, but why was her vagina still so tight
? Even though so much time had passed, these feelings could still be vividly recalled. Sometimes, even when I'm having sex with my current partner, I can still fantasize about having sex with A-Ping. I was in good health back then, and I remember our sex lasting a long time. I don't know why, but people say that first-time sex is quick, but mine lasted a long time. Maybe it was because it wasn't a carefully planned event.
I finally ejaculated, slowly filling A-Ping's vagina. We hadn't done anything to clean up; we just wiped with a pillowcase, and I even wiped A-Ping's vaginal opening. Afterwards, we hugged naked, not saying a word, for a long time.
As dawn broke, A-Ping repeatedly asked to get up and go home. I didn't know what to say. I knew I couldn't offer her any support, and she hadn't said I should take any responsibility. What could I say
? I loosened my grip on A-Ping, and she let go too. We got dressed and went outside. The sun was high in the sky; it was a beautiful day, the sky was lovely, just like my relieved mood. A-Ping left without saying goodbye, without looking back. I saw her leave, so calmly, just as calmly as she had arrived.
Postscript: 1. That afternoon, I saw a smear of blood on the bed sheet; now I know it was the first blood.
2. Six years later, A-Ping married my classmate, and they later had a son. I heard their relationship is very harmonious. She asked someone to contact me at the wedding, inviting me to attend. I called to congratulate my classmate, but made an excuse not to attend, instead having my classmate give her a dowry instead.
3. I missed several school reunions using excuses like being busy with work. I still feel a little guilty towards a certain classmate.
4. A female classmate revealed that A-Ping had actually had a crush on me for a long time. I can believe it, but I was a little suspicious when she asked me about her boyfriend. This same nosy classmate also told me that A-Ping had asked her to contact me again in the past two years, which I firmly refused, warning my female classmate's husband that he didn't like me associating with female classmates she wasn't familiar with (this female classmate doesn't count, although she's also a childhood friend of mine).

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