Was he going to be friends with her or have sex with her?

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-21

"If we make love, we might not be able to remain good friends," or "We're too close, like brothers, it's hard to make a move!" Let's take a look:
1. Friends or sex?
I've heard my friends say more than once, "Oh, I'm too close to her, we're practically buddies, it's hard to make a move!" or "If we make love, we might not be able to stay friends."
Is that really the case? Let's analyze it simply: True friends are generous and tolerant, they care for and understand each other, and they exchange sincere and passionate viewpoints. If you can't be friends because of sex, then it can be said that you weren't truly pure friends when you were. If you lost him as a friend because of sex, then let me tell you, there's nothing to regret, let it go! That means when he came to befriend you, he was never thinking about anything other than your sexual desires.
Therefore, it is a misunderstanding of sex, not sex itself, that constitutes an obstacle to friendship. Sex is an expression of intimacy, a natural desire between mature, mutually appreciative individuals of the opposite sex. If I had a good friend of the opposite sex with whom I could get along well, and if he or she were sexually attractive to me, I would naturally want his hugs and kisses, and ideally, a physical intimacy with him, without having to feign modesty for the sake of being a so-called "long-term friend."
Stop deceiving yourself. When you think about the question of "sex or friendship?", you've already lost the right to be the kind of friend you narrowly define.
2. When should I have sex with him?
Some girls are always full of worries, constantly concerned that maybe after sleeping together, he won't like them anymore. Why do they always think like this? I analyze it for three reasons: First, the long-standing patriarchal society has fostered a latent sense of dependence in women, leading them to see "serving" the man as their responsibility, without considering that while he is choosing and criticizing you, you are also choosing and criticizing him. Second, women often see a man's affirmation as the sole source of their self-confidence, narrowing their horizons and creating a vicious cycle that makes men look down on them even more. Third, they place too much importance on sex, believing that sexual commitment is the ultimate sacrifice, a complete emotional and physical investment. After this investment, their sense of superiority is shattered, leading them to expect the man to be responsible for them, thus causing the man to panic.
Be more mature. First, don't expect to be a pampered princess. Allow your partner to tire of you, giving them space and allowing your own heart to soar. Second, make love to him when you most desire him, maximizing sexual satisfaction. Otherwise, missing out on your most passionate moments is a waste. Third, if it feels good, tell him. Perhaps he shares your concerns.
3. Sexual techniques and sexual passion
From passively receiving to actively taking control, exploring sexual techniques and improving sexual ability seems to have become an important training for women who want to please men. Regardless of whether the other person likes them or they like the other person, they'll get into bed, demonstrate their sexual prowess, and get affirmation first. They're not afraid of being challenged, they're only afraid of not doing it! After various oral sex training and vaginal sensation training are in place, some more insightful women begin to pursue new goals: cultivating readily available and easily dispelled sexual passion, and understanding and mastering various clinical manifestations. Heh, let those women still immersed in exploring how to maximize a man's pleasure continue researching different angles and intensities; these women have already entered a new stage, making every man they have sex with feel that they are the one she loves most!
However, I advocate for a natural and spontaneous kind of sex, a new realm that both men and women should enter together. It's not a simple listing of sexual techniques, nor a gratuitous performance of sexual passion. Rather, it's a return to the primal, a harmonious connection where one listens attentively to the call of their own heart. Perhaps that kind of lovemaking has the simplest form, yet it leaves you with endless reflections after each act of passion.
Sex is most beautiful when it is natural. Don't let all sorts of distracting thoughts marginalize or artificialize sex.
4. Regarding refusal
Some girls are not good at saying no, and sometimes they are unsure whether they like someone or not. When they ask themselves this question, they answer: I don't dislike them.
In this situation, it's best to politely, frankly, and clearly refuse. Don't worry about the other person's ability to handle it; doing so is far less harmful than sleeping with them because you're touched by their persistent pursuit, only to regret it and then dump them. Even if you have a slight liking for them, clearly express your feelings. Tell them: "I have some feelings for you now, but these feelings are not in that sense." Don't drag things out and leave them guessing. Doing so is a sign of respect for them, and even more so for yourself. If the other person is mature, they will appreciate it.

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