What is Love (Short Story 8116625)

page views:1 Publication date:2022-01-06

I walk alone, live alone, and am lonely in this city, like a lone wolf.
I walked alone on my way home from get off work. I've been in Shenzhen for two years now, wandering alone through this bustling and glamorous city, burying my youth in exchange for meager rewards. Everyone's busy, busy preparing for their own demise. No matter how carefree the eating, drinking, and merrymaking, or how foolish the cheating and swindling, in the end, everyone will turn to dust and vanish.
I don't believe in love. It's either a transaction of money and sex, or two people slowly burying themselves in life, which the world calls romance. What's the difference between one person dying and two people dying? They're just a pile of bones.
Actually, I used to believe in love, but witnessing firsthand that so-called love is nothing but fleeting smoke and a momentary glimpse, my soulmate, saw her beautiful love vanish into a desolate bubble.
I remember it was early summer, a sunny summer day.
The woman's name was Chao, a slender woman. It was during middle school; she transferred to our class. The first time I saw her, I was drawn to her short, ear-length hair and fresh, clean style. Coincidentally, she sat right behind me. When she first arrived, she was a rather shy girl, not very talkative, only interacting with the people in our group. (There were two seats, four people in a group, forming a square.) Gradually, she became familiar with the four of us, and we discovered she was actually quite warm-hearted and liked to joke around with us.
As I gradually got to know her, and with that instant attraction, I slowly realized I truly loved her. I often walked home with her after school, and later, through my cleverness, I subtly expressed my feelings, which I knew she understood. After that, we really did get together.
Ignoring our classmates' antics, we insisted on walking home together every day, whispering sweet nothings, and discussing our future plans after graduation. Those were truly innocent and fun times. Eventually, our reputation at school grew, and people started pointing and whispering about us. So, we switched from taking the main road home to taking a side alley, which was surprisingly quieter.
One day, after evening self-study, around 9:30, we skipped the large group of students leaving school and continued walking in our alley. The alley was already dark, and she held my hand, letting me feel her gentleness. Suddenly, a mouse darted past our feet, and she jumped in fright, grabbing my hand and running ahead. After running for about five or six minutes, we stopped at a corner. She leaned against the wall, panting. I said, "What are you so scared of?" She replied, "I'm just afraid of the dark and mice."
I watched her lean against the wall, panting heavily, her already developing breasts rising and falling slightly, and my heart immediately began to race. At that time, I was beginning to understand matters between men and women, and I mustered my courage, leaned close, and hugged her, lowering my head to kiss her small lips. She tried to push me away forcefully, but I dared not let go, and continued to forcefully silence her with a kiss!
Finally, she stopped resisting, and I could kiss her little lips carefully. Perhaps it was instinct, but I slowly slipped my tongue into her mouth. I felt her teeth were still clenched tightly, so I used my tongue to pry them open. She seemed to sense my intention and slowly loosened her teeth, allowing my tongue to enter. It was the first time I tasted the delicate flavor of a woman's tongue, a feeling that still haunts my dreams. And she, perhaps because it was her first time, slowly embraced me with her lowered hands, sharing the beauty of our first kiss.
It was May, and the weather was starting to get warmer; we weren't wearing many clothes. Instinctively, my hand slipped inside her shirt and touched her waist. Her skin was so soft and smooth, and she didn't react at first. Emboldened, I slowly moved my hand upwards, and for the first time, I touched a woman's breast. Even through her bra—probably the soft kind a young girl's bra had—it felt so good. Half of it was her bra, and the other half was the exposed flesh of her breast. I never knew a woman's breast felt so wonderful to touch.
She began to writhe in resistance, but I continued to kiss her forcefully. As she gradually calmed down, my fingers slipped inside her bra, finally touching that spot amidst the soft flesh of her breasts—a jolt like an electric shock. At that moment, she finally pushed me away. Even in the dark alley, I could see her cheeks were flushed and beautiful. So I leaned in and kissed her cheek again, saying, "I love you so much." She nodded shyly, straightened her clothes, and then took my hand and led me away. I said, "Let's go to the same university together, and you'll marry me after graduation." She agreed, filling me with immense joy, only to plunge me into an abyss of despair.
That semester ended, and we maintained a very good relationship. After the final exams, something happened that I will never forget. The first day after the exams, we went to school for a class meeting and then went home. On our way home, since it was still early and we didn't have much to do, I asked her if she wanted to go hiking. She also thought going home would be boring, so she agreed. We played in the mountains outside the city until noon. By then, it was quite late when we got back, and there was no food. So, we ate some simple food from a street stall at the foot of the mountain.
Afterwards, she said she didn't want to go home yet, so I suggested she come to my house. She refused, but I explained that my parents were at work and no one would be home, so she agreed. When we got home, sure enough, my parents weren't there. Even though no one was home, I still habitually led her into my room.
She toured my room with great interest, then looked at my guitar, seemingly quite fascinated. So I took the guitar down from the wall and asked her if she was interested in it. She said yes, she thought people on TV who could play instruments were so cool. I said, "Let me play you a piece." She smiled and nodded. So, striking what I thought was a very cool pose, I played and sang "Unavoidable Love," a song I had only recently learned and was the only one I was truly proficient in. After I finished, she was very happy and said it was great, that I had talent.
I put down my violin, sat down next to her, and rubbed her shoulders, saying, "If you like it, I'll practice hard from now on, and I'll play for you every day." At this, her face flushed again, and she nodded without saying a word. Because she was sitting on my bed, I rubbed her and then leaned back onto the bed, turning my body to slightly press her down, and kissed her again. Ever since that first kiss, I'd longed for that feeling, and now that I'd kissed her again, I immediately savored her beautiful fragrance with all my might.
Once again, I slipped my hand inside her clothes. Perhaps because she felt safe in bed, she didn't resist, and I knew I'd take advantage of that. This time, I actually managed to remove her top smoothly. Her eyes were tightly closed, her face flushed. I kissed her cheek and then went to unhook her bra. It took me ages to unhook it the first time, and as I trembled as I pulled it off, my heart was pounding. My lover's breasts...
Although they were just a young girl's breasts, not the kind of large, alluring breasts, they were as tempting as unripe apples. The two small nipples on the flawless white skin perfectly defined a virgin's breasts. My hand couldn't wait to reach up and touch them, feeling the delicate skin and the stimulation from the nipple protruding in my palm. I lowered my head and kissed the other breast, wanting to kiss it all, to kiss it to my heart's content.
Slowly, I realized my lower body was already quite hard. After realizing this, I really wanted to see what her genitals looked like. I looked at her; her eyes were still tightly closed. So, I carefully unbuttoned her pants. At that moment, her hand reached out. I had no choice but to get up and kiss her again before continuing my actions. She was wearing pure white underwear, a pristine white expanse in my eyes. I took off my own clothes, leaving only my underwear, and passionately kissed her, feeling the forbidden sensation of our skin intertwined.
We rolled around on the bed, my hand slowly sliding down her back, wanting to reach in and caress her bottom. Then, she pushed me away, opened her eyes, looked at me, and asked, "Will you always be good to me?" Without hesitation, I nodded firmly. Afterwards, we were naked together. I took off my underwear, letting my genitals touch a woman's for the first time. I didn't dare look down at her genitals, afraid she wouldn't agree, and simply rubbed my hardness against her soft flesh.
After a long struggle, I finally squeezed my penis into her vagina. It hurt, but it felt amazing. As I thrust in forcefully, she started biting my hand. I knew she was in pain, but I showed no mercy and persisted. I saw tears welling up in her eyes. I gently kissed her and said, "Don't be afraid, I will love you." She nodded, looking at me with such sincerity. I looked back at her, and I felt these were the most genuine eyes I had ever seen in a woman; I had never seen them again.
I caressed her breasts and kissed her, while slowly thrusting in and out. My penis, though painfully compressed, felt incredibly good, enveloped in warm, tender flesh. Feeling the softness and gentleness of the woman in my arms was such a comforting and joyful experience. Although my movements were slow, I ejaculated quickly.
That was my first time making love. She was very shy and delicate. We were entangled in bed for almost two hours, and only after we finished did we realize it was already past four in the afternoon. So, I had no choice but to send her out of the house, while I obediently waited for my family to return home.
I thought the story would unfold naturally, but things didn't go as planned. After the second semester started, she began ignoring me. I was completely baffled and wouldn't answer her questions. I didn't press her too much at school, and after school, she would ride her bicycle home by herself without waiting for me anymore. I really had no idea what was going on.
After agonizing for almost a month, I finally learned from her friend that she had become obsessed with Jay Chou during the summer vacation, and then met someone from the second high school who looked exactly like Jay Chou, so they started dating. After making inquiries, I learned that this man's name was Kai, and he was a notorious local thug. I was so in love with her at the time, so I went to find that man to say something, and I ended up getting beaten up.
I was furious. I used to be a good student, but I started to go astray. "It's just Jay Chou, what's so great about him?" So I began to hate Jay Chou, and those who idolized him. I started smoking, fighting, and going astray. My grades plummeted, and I became a notorious bad student. I made many connections with unsavory characters, burying my feelings for her deep inside, and presenting a facade to the world.
One day, I saw the two of them together. Just then, one of my friends from outside the school was waiting for me at the school gate and was about to greet me. I waved, then rushed at the guy named Kai and kicked him to the ground.
There were actually a few of his buddies next to him, and immediately some of them rushed forward. My friend saw that someone was going to hit me, and he immediately got angry. A group of people rushed over and started fighting. That guy, Kai, and his gang were just students who hung out in school, while my friend had been fighting in the underworld for a long time. They were no match for my friend's ruthlessness, and in no time, several of his men were on the ground.
He actually begged me for forgiveness. I thought, "How could you be interested in someone so spineless?" I asked him, "Do you still dare to be with her?" He said no. I laughed and left to drink with my brothers.
Later, I found out she had broken up with that guy. So I went to ask her, and she said, "Forget it, the college entrance exam is coming up soon, we'll talk about it after the exam." Actually, I knew she had slept with that guy Kai too, but I didn't care, I fucking liked her too much. So, I continued to drift through the rest of the semester. She had good grades, while mine were already terrible.
Finally, the college entrance exam was over, and I invited her to my house again. I played the piano for her, playing Jay Chou's songs, which she liked. Although I dislike Jay Chou, I practiced "Sunny Day" for her, supposedly her favorite song. She really liked it after listening, and I felt it was worth it. That afternoon, I took off her clothes again.
This time, I felt she was very open. Was it because she'd been "trained" by a man? Her skin was still so delicate and white, and her breasts were noticeably fuller than before, though her nipples were still pink. It seemed she hadn't been played with many times. This time, I looked down and saw a woman's genitals clearly for the first time—the secret passage beneath the patch of dark pubic hair.
Some liquid seeped out from the crevice. The pink opening was so alluring. Even though it might have been touched by that man, I didn't care. I loved it so much, you could call it love. I brought my lips closer.
I sucked hard on this beauty. Her body writhed as I kissed her vulva, moaning incessantly. Something was wrong; she was usually so shy and adorable! Why was she acting like a lustful woman now? My desire surged, and I didn't think much more. We began our second sexual intercourse. This time, it wasn't as awkward as the first. The first time, my penis hurt during penetration…
This time it was much smoother, but still quite tight. Seeing that she wasn't as weak as before, I didn't hold back as much as I had the first time. Instead, I started thrusting slowly but quickly, as if I wanted to release all the dissatisfaction and pain from the past semester. Because I sped up, her moans became much louder. Thinking about it now, it must have been the kind of feeling only a woman with strong sexual desire would have.
I'd watched a lot of pornography with my friends, so I was drawn into the atmosphere by her lustful expression. I fought hard, reaching the peak of stimulation, and ejaculated inside her without restraint; the aftershocks lasted a long time. I asked her if she might get pregnant, and she said it was fine, that it was her safe period. At the time, I didn't understand and didn't ask further. Looking back now, I realize she knew about safe periods back in high school—she was so precocious!
That afternoon, we made love twice. If I weren't afraid of my family coming back, I would have wanted to keep her, to release all the confusion and pain I had endured this semester, because holding her made me care about nothing else. Afterwards, she was admitted to Shanghai Jiao Tong University. As for me, because my grades couldn't keep up, I only got a junior college diploma, and it was even from my home province. We didn't contact each other during my first year of university. I studied hard during my first year, hoping to transfer to her university, knowing she would put me through a test.
When I got home for summer vacation, I finally got in touch with her, only to realize that all my efforts had been in vain. After I asked her out, she said she didn't want to see me anymore. I asked her why, and she said she had a boyfriend at school, her family was wealthy, and she wouldn't have to worry about making a living. I said, "I can work hard to earn money for our future!" She said no, and turned to leave.
Once again, I was at a loss. Later, I learned that she had indeed changed; she had become materialistic, and her friends no longer spoke to her. I finally gave up. I had personally witnessed the reality of a pure and innocent girl transforming into a gold digger. Is this what love is?
The first time it was because the man was handsome, the second time it was because he was rich. Is this the kind of love this world presents? Women are creatures whose feelings can change because of material things, hence the term "emotional creatures." People say men are driven by their lower instincts, while women are driven by their upper instincts. Yes, it's simply that they see a man's handsomeness and wealth. And the feeling I had of her was initially one of pure innocence and beauty, but it turned into coldness and materialism. What caused that?
After that, I stopped believing in love. Now, I've dated quite a few women, and it all just felt like two bodies entwined; I could never go back to the way things were, never find that first feeling again. Although I don't believe in love anymore, I still miss it. I saw her a few more times afterward, and seeing her adorned with all that jewels, I shook my head helplessly. Women, oh women!
【over】

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What is Love (Short Story 8116625)

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