Better to remember than to meet again - A short story by hezy129

page views:1 Publication date:2022-01-16

After lurking for a long time, I've finally decided to write down my story with her. Like a scar hidden deep in my heart, I've gotten used to covering it up, and it really takes a lot of courage to uncover it. Today, as I reminisce here, it's not about pornography or sex, but just a faint sadness, carrying longing, as I mourn a love that has faded into the past. After all, in that moment of looking back, you left an indelible mark on my life.
I. My Lover Afar
I was suddenly sent on a business trip to Nanjing for a month, and she came to see me off. She brought me some food for the journey and then spent the afternoon chatting with me at her home. At that moment, I vaguely sensed that she liked me. This also confirmed my colleagues' guesses, although I vehemently denied it.
She had only been interning at the company for a short time and hadn't been officially hired yet, but her liveliness and excellence were already gradually becoming apparent. At that time, she would follow me around every day, discussing trivial matters and abstract life ideals. I didn't think too much about it then; after all, she was just a young girl, and I was married. There was a six-year age gap between us, and in our society…
In this isolated city, almost every barrier had formed, making it impossible for us to ever cross paths. As for her, all I could offer was deep admiration and unwavering support. I remember we once discussed the topic of extramarital affairs. Perhaps I was a little selfish at the time, trying to guide her, but it wasn't intentional. I don't know if she could understand; it was like casting a net into the ocean.
Catching a fish is lucky, but not catching one isn't a loss. I told her: as long as there's love in your heart, nothing, whether it's marriage or one's parents, can stop you. Like a moth drawn to a flame, bravely pursue your ideals. She seemed to understand, or perhaps she was just a little girl experiencing the world for the first time. Let's call her Su.
Just before getting on the bus, my wife and I had another major argument. She was there too, and the rift between us was undeniably exposed to her. Of course, her presence was merely a trigger.
After all, we hadn't had much interaction before, and my wife wasn't the type to make unfounded accusations. The domestic arguments had exhausted us, and as I was about to embark on my journey, we had no lingering feelings for each other, only resentment. When I slammed the door shut, I could even hear her hysterical sobs inside. I'm not a cold-hearted person, but I suddenly felt lost. I didn't know how long this precarious marriage could last, and we were already deeply wounded.
After a 30-hour journey, I was feeling very down. Looking at the bright and dim lights outside the car, I couldn't sleep at all. Just then, I received a message from Su: "Have you gotten on the train yet? Seeing you two arguing made me feel really bad."
I didn't reply to the message. Perhaps I wasn't in the mood, or perhaps I simply didn't want anything to happen. Thinking of my somewhat desolate home, and my stubborn, albeit somewhat virtuous, wife, I could almost hear a sigh escape my lips. Su's greeting warmed my heart, yet it also filled me with fear. After all, a man's infidelity is understandable, but to actually act on it would mean enduring the pangs of conscience and the torment of guilt. No matter how fierce the battle with my wife had been, the thought of betraying her—perhaps I wasn't ready.
Soon after, her second message arrived: "Are you resting? I can't sleep, I'm so worried about you. Take care of yourself, okay?" I checked the time; it was already past 1 a.m. Thinking about her worry and my indifference, I felt a pang of guilt.
So I texted her back, "Little sister, don't worry, I'm just feeling a bit down and can't sleep. You should get some rest and not overwork yourself!"
And so, her messages accompanied me through that thirty-hour journey. She gave me a lot of warmth, though there was no ambiguity or desire. Just like a thirsty person, a glass of water might be more alluring than a woman's body.
After arriving in Nanjing, I slept soundly. Su's encouragement made me appreciate a woman's gentleness, and I believe those trivial matters will soon pass.
A week passed uneventfully, and I struggled through countless experiments, working from dawn till dusk. After all, the company's money wasn't wasted, and I needed these results to improve my standing within the company. The faint noise of the instruments kept me company through many sleepless nights.
Suddenly I received a message from Su: "Have you been busy these past few days? I'm not used to you being gone, I miss you a little. Hehe." I know she's a girl who likes to joke around, and if she really wanted to be my lover...
I don't think she has that kind of courage. But she definitely misses me, because every time she came to my department before, she would always find a time to chat with me—it was a fixed routine. Maybe now that I'm alone in another city, she no longer has such a compatible chat partner. I think that's the main reason she misses me. Understanding these details, I'm still very disappointed, yet I also secretly yearn for something.
So I mustered up the courage to send her a message to test the waters: "I know you were joking, that you only see me as your brother but not your little sister. Don't say that again, it's easy for me to misunderstand." In the past, she would occasionally send me a message saying she missed me or make fun of me, but today was different. That feeling of being alone in a foreign land made me feel like I really missed her, and I had an unyielding longing.
"Brother, I'm not kidding, I really have feelings for you." After a long while, she replied with a message.
She wasn't exactly a stunning beauty, but she was still quite pretty. This unexpected romantic encounter truly caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say, but it was as if a thin veil had been gently pierced, and the two of us easily fell in love, no matter how deep the feelings might run.
We were both completely committed. The allure of the young girl and the thrill of a different kind of relationship made it impossible for us to resist. Although we were only chatting via text messages, our feelings progressed at an unstoppable pace.
And so, we seemed to exist outside of reality, exchanging messages every day, expressing our longing for each other. When that longing took deep root, we began to tentatively explore each other's bodies—another layer of paper, which, surprisingly, wasn't so difficult to break through. I texted her, "I really miss you, so much, not only do I miss you, I also want to touch you," followed by a shy emoji.
"Where do you really want to touch me?" she asked quite openly. Of course, I couldn't be shy anymore, but I couldn't use words like "breasts," as that would be a bit crude for us. Heh, poor breasts, always the first point of violation, and they've already fallen. "I'm not good at all, my breasts aren't big, do you want to touch them?" Seeing this message, I was suddenly stunned. I sensitively sensed that she was still a virgin.
Although it didn't fit her lively personality, it wasn't impossible. At this point, were we still rational? My worries were minimal, but her words gave me an opportunity. So I said, "Hehe, silly little sister, a girl's breasts get bigger from being touched by men. The more they touch them, the bigger they become." "Really? Hehe, you bad boy, taking advantage of me." I felt a little guilty.
But she still grinned mischievously and said, "Don't you want to grow up, little sister?" "Hehe, yes. Don't lie to me!" Her innocence was almost naive. Perhaps this was foreshadowing all along, but she didn't...
I realized that getting bigger breasts might not be something that could be done in a day or two. In other words, I could touch her breasts without any problem in the future. Hehe, I'm not being perverted, I'm doing this to help her get bigger.
Plato said, "When love comes, even a fool can become a poet." Indeed, my IQ seemed to multiply; I could feel how deeply she loved me. So much so that during a video call, I told her, "Little sister, I'll be going back in a few days. Remember what you promised me? Don't go back on your word!"
She smiled innocently and asked what was going on. I, as if I were completely innocent, made a suggestive gesture to her. She blushed instantly but nodded solemnly. "Don't worry, I won't break my promise."
Seeing her solemn expression, tinged with nervousness, I was suddenly filled with emotion. It was a sincere trust, the kind of devotion that made a girl give herself to me. I impulsively typed: "Little sister, I will love you well, give you my most sincere love, and have lots and lots of children with you..." Then I saw her blushing face, followed by a gentle nod.
I confess, I fell in love with her during this special time, and then I was hopelessly in love. So she became my lover; everything happened so naturally, so quietly. In the nights away from home, with her by my side, my dreams were filled with falling petals.
[To be continued]

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Better to remember than to meet again - A short story by hezy129

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