The secret hidden deep in my heart

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-04

Chapter One: The Journey Begins
A few years ago, one day in October, I don’t remember how it started. I wasn’t married at the time. I said I would help a colleague with a laptop problem. So after work, I went back to my dorm early, washed up, and then took a ride with my colleague to her house. Let’s call this colleague Eileen!
Eileen... a woman five years older than me, got married around the age of 19 when she was pregnant. However, due to problems with her mother-in-law, she divorced shortly after the birth of her second child. Of course, she still took good care of the two children during this time and was always accommodating to their needs (but that's another story). After the divorce, she moved back to her parents' house to live with her mother and older brother. Her parents' house was a four-story detached house. Her and her mother's room was on the third floor. Her older brother lived in a suite on the second floor, and her second older brother lived in a small room on the fourth floor. Her second older brother usually worked in another city and didn't come home. So, the whole building was just her, her mother, and her older brother living together. Her older brother worked the night shift, so she rarely saw him.
I still remember that day, the first time I went to Eileen's house, the first time I stepped into Eileen's room. There was a faint fragrance in the room, which I initially mistook for perfume. Later I discovered that Eileen liked the scent of green tea; even her shampoo and shower gel were green tea scented. There was a simple double bed, a large wardrobe, and a flat-screen TV on a small cabinet. The overall feeling wasn't exactly clean, but it was tidy enough. Since I was in her house, I naturally had to get down to business. She took out her Acer laptop and said she would give it to me while she went to wash up. I took a shower. To be honest, I don't remember what the problem was, because I got off work around 7 PM and didn't get to her place until almost 9 PM. I messed around with her computer and even helped her re-flush her hard drive, which took until after 10 PM. After her shower, her hair was still wet, and she was wearing a gray tank top and black shorts. While I was working on the computer, she lay on the bed watching TV, and of course, we chatted a bit, about work and the popular talk show "Kangxi Lai Le" that was on at the time. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that she was wearing a bra under her tank top, and I casually started chatting with her.
Me: "Aren't you going to sleep?"
Eileen: "Yes, of course I want it! Are you done?"
Me: "You're supposed to be sleeping, why are you still wearing your underwear? Didn't you see the news? Sleeping in your underwear compresses your nerves and is bad for your health."
(Actually, I didn't think that much about it at the time; I just felt that it was bad for my health.)
Eileen: "No way. I'd rather be dressed warmly."
Because of the car accident when Eileen was young, she has had to take painkillers and even sedatives and sleeping pills every day since that incident. I asked her about it later, and I also looked into it. The doctor prescribed "Styrus" for her to take. I remember that day, when I was working on the computer, I asked her if I could sleep here tonight, otherwise I was afraid that if I stayed up too late, she would have to drive me back to the dormitory, which would be too tiring.
Eileen said, "Okay. Otherwise, you can sleep on the bed, and I'll sleep on the floor."
I said, "How can you let a girl sleep on the floor?"
Eileen said, "You helped me with the computer, I feel bad letting you sleep on the floor."
I said, "How about you give me half of your bed and I'll sleep on the other side? Don't worry, I won't do anything reckless."
Eileen said, "Uh...you said it! Okay then!"
I thought to myself, "Thank goodness! I don't have to sleep on the floor anymore, and I can sleep with a beautiful woman!" After we finished, it was getting late, so we lay in bed watching TV and chatting. I eventually convinced her to take off her bra to sleep, saying it was better for her health. Later... I don't remember, but I think she did take it off! But that night... I obediently went to sleep! Because she was taking medication, she was drowsy, but I didn't take advantage of her. I also fell asleep in a half-awake state.
It must have been around midnight! She was tossing and turning, looking like she couldn't sleep well, clutching the blanket. My first instinct was to lie down next to her, take her hand, and say, "Can I hug you?" The weather was chilly, and letting her hug me warmed me up. She hugged me back, and I loved being hugged like that. It gave me a feeling of caring for someone; I could let her lean on me, and her body heat and shape against mine felt so good. I thought… since she didn't object to my hug, I made a bold suggestion. I took her hand and let it roam over my body, stroking from my chest down to my abdomen. This made my adrenaline surge. She didn't mind being touched like that, and after a few times, we… "Can we go a little further?" I asked. I pulled down my pants, and her hand slipped inside. I hugged her, letting her freely caress me, gently holding my hand… Then she started kissing me, from my neck, chest, and abdomen. Unsurprisingly, she then gently pulled down my pants. This was the first time in my life I'd been bitten. During this time, I also enjoyed her alluring body, her D-cup breasts, which, despite having two children, still maintained a figure like a young girl's. At the most crucial moment, we both stopped. She moved to my chest, hugging me like she had in the beginning, and said, "Sleep! You have to go to work tomorrow." And I… just hugged her, gently stroking her back, saying nothing, and fell asleep too! This was the beginning of our relationship…
Chapter Two: Overnight Stay Relationship
The phone rang, and morning sunlight streamed into the room. Eileen was already sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on makeup and getting ready for work, while I was still lying in bed, enjoying the lingering warmth. I said good morning to her, then got up and hugged her from behind. She didn't resist. I knew our relationship was more than just colleagues. I told her last night was wonderful, that it was my first time, and I would never forget it. I lay in bed, pulled down my pants, and gestured to her with my eyes. She gently kissed my penis, patted my thigh, and said, "Get up, time for work, don't be late."
After we arrived at the company and parked the car, she told me, "I'll get out first! I'll stay in the car for a while before going into the office." I understood what she meant; after all, there was a lot of gossip at the company, and it wasn't good to be in and out of the office together all the time. Plus, she had been with the company longer than me; she was the executive assistant in our department, so we had some contact, like when I was still an engineer. We would do things like confirming experiments and checking test results. What happened that night made our contact even more frequent. Every day after get off work, either I would leave first or she would leave first. I would go back to my dorm to wash up, then ride my bike back to the company to park it, and then hitch a ride with her to go to her house. If I had to work overtime, she would leave first to go back and freshen up, and then after I finished work, she would pick me up and take me back to my dorm to wash up, waiting for me nearby before we went to her house. And so it went… for several years in total.
Chapter Three: The Road to a Career
自从这段关系开始后，我和她之间都有一个默契，大家只是认为我跟她很好，我也跟其他同事说，我算是她闺蜜了吧！因为和她相处的时间长了，所以聊的东西就很多，聊到当初为什么会这么早当妈妈、为什么会跟前夫离婚，甚至在我之前，她也是跟一个以前的不同公司的朋友在一起，而这个角色就是第三者，这过程我了解她的处境，她是一个很贴心的人，不会留下任何的证据，我不过问她跟之前的人怎么样，我只跟她说，不管怎么样，我都会支持妳，也不管妳做什么决定，只是不管妳做什么决定、什么选择，记得永远都要把自己放在最前面，对于她～我真的出自于关心，但……也有私心，想维持一个特殊的关系，不仅仅是同事、朋友；因为这样，所以我在公司从工程师晋升到组长最后到课长，而她…我也顺势让她从助理变成助理工程师，到最后的工程师，只因为我跟她说，助理一辈子只能靠加班，而晋升之后，时间变多了，不需要加班，这才是长远之路，虽然有很多不懂需要学习的，但…我都会罩着妳，所以在那段时间，迟到了或是临时请假，我都会帮她cover，当然薪水也加了不少，从直接人员变成间接人员，要学习的东西也不少，当然她的学习能力很快，其实也是她应得的！
我记得她跟我说过，虽然你年纪比我小，但我觉得你了解的事情跟人际关系，比我还要利害，也是因为这样，让我觉得你很可靠。
我在07年进w公司，因为金融风暴的关系，公司集团内把c公司併至w公司，我们部分的人员就移转至c公司，当然我和艾琳也是转至c公司，在08年移转的这个过程，生产缐都在移设备，所以会有一些楼层沒有电力也沒有人，那个时候沒生产，也不想放无薪假，所以常常跟艾琳躲在沒人的楼层聊天、休息，那个时候，其实只是跟她很好，还沒有发生夜宿的事件，单纯就是非常要好的同事，关系开始变的比较密切，是从转到c公司开始，也是从c公司开始，她慢慢从助理升上来。
我在11年结婚当然对象并不是艾琳而是交往十年的女友，从那个时候才结束了夜宿的模式，但…和艾琳的关系已经密不可分了。
第四章突发事件
在夜宿的那段时期，有几个事情让我印象深刻，也因为这些事情，让我和她的关系变的很紧密，因为她长期服药的关系，常常吃了药以后都是昏昏沉沉的，有一次我加班，她先回去，以为我不会太晚，所以她洗完澡就先吃了药，我下班了她来接我时，我觉得她怪怪的，她说她开车沒问题，我看了一下，她穿了睡衣就出门了，我觉得我认识的她应该不会做这种事，果不然…开出公司大门沒多久，车子偏离太靠路边了，把后照镜撞掉了，我赶紧让她停车，换我开回去，当时的我真的吓死了，从那次以后，只要我跟她回去，都是我开车，我再跟她回去，这是事件一；而另一个事情也是发生在晚上，一样是吃完药以后，我们躺在床上，当时我还沒有睡意，在看着电视，而她已经在昏睡了，但奇怪的是，她的身体无意识的在抽蓄，并且说她好冷，我觉得事情不太对劲，于是我就开着车子，载她冲到医院急诊，医生给她打针，也沒说什么问题，在急诊休息，我还记得那个时候待到凌晨两点多吧！我看她也昏昏的，而且沒有抽蓄了，我就跟她说，我们先回去好了，待在这里也沒有什么用，于是我又开车载她回家，早上当然是起不来，我留了字条给她，告诉她，今天休息一天吧！起床了再打电话给我，我先去上班，当然发生什么事她其实记不太得，只记得我带她去急诊，然后很累而已！
发生了这些事件，都是她长期吃药累积下来的问题，她身体健康状况其实并沒有很好，一段时间身体就会出现一些状况，莫名的发烧或是头晕无力，一直到现在还是一样，所以在工作上能cover她的，我都会盡我所能cover她，确保她的绩效及请假的时数是可以被接受的，当然……后面她的绩效都是我在打，所以她可以领到的基数也是比同部门其他人要多的。
第五章激情篇
和艾琳在一起的时间，几乎每个晚上都能激战一两回合，那段时间除了sm还有走后门之外，其它的都经歷过了，甚至她会买上性感的睡衣，换上让我欣赏～当然，有时候我会要求她换上漂亮的服饰后，留下一些纪念；我替她申请了一个云端的空间，帐号密码我们俩知道，她上传照片，而我就上缐欣赏她的照片。当然也有一般的生活照，我个人不偏好看私密处的照片，所以我跟她说，这个部分就不要再拍了，所以后来上传的大多都是长辈照片，或是洗澡溼身的，不然就是我比较喜爱的内衣照，她也为了我，添购了不少紫色系列的内衣。
到了比较后期，我们之间的行为越来越大胆，一开始都等到办公室的人都下班了，只剩我们，我就会叫她到我的座位，她躲在我的桌下，开始用手抚摸我，而我也不客气的伸手进她的衣服搓揉那水滴型的胸部，进攻她的乳首，此刻的我们是疯狂的，她用嘴回应我的需求，吸吮着我的肉棒，直到我喷发在她的嘴里，当然…她不介意口爆；
我还记得我第一次的口爆，我跟她说，我不行了，我要出来了～啊～～正当我想拔出来的时候，艾琳紧紧的含住并用双手抱住我的臀部不让我拔出来，而在那个时候我沒办法抽离，只好射在她的嘴里，而她竟然全数吞下去，还用嘴及舌头清理，我问她为什么不让我拔出来，还要吞下去。
她抱着我回答我说：「因为我不想停下来，而且……这样我很有成就感。」
我：「这样不好吧！我怕味道会很重耶。」
艾琳：「还好啦！沒什么味道。」说完她就起来躺在我身上，亲吻我的胸膛，而我拉她起来回应她，亲吻她嘴的同时，她很惊讶的看着我说
艾琳：「你敢亲我哦」
我：「为什么不敢妳都还帮我吸了。」
艾琳：「你这样不就等于你吃到自己的了」
我：「然后呢妳都愿意帮我吃了，我亲妳有这么惊讶吗」
此时我知道，也许她之前的经验，以往的另一半是不会在口爆后再亲吻她，但对我来说，这并沒有什么。
开始了首次的办公室激情，当然每每加班后，我和她都会刻意留到办公室的人都下班，甚至还剩一两位同事还沒下班的时候，她都会来我的座位下，我们就这样享受这过程，有时候如果留下来的同事还沒走，我就会更大胆的拉她进会议室，然后把门锁起来，在椅子上，拉下她的下着，而她趴在会议室的桌上，背后式的进行活塞运动，而她都会紧捂住自己的嘴巴，不发出声响，只能唔唔嗯嗯的享受这刺激的过程，舒服、但又怕被人发现，又要压抑自己，经歷这样的过程，我才明白，为什么这么多人会追求这样的剌激，因为这样的感觉真的很不一样。
在办公室的调情及性爱，仅止于下班后，在上班时间，艾琳有时候会藉着询问工作的事情来到我的座位，趴在我的桌上，有时会偷偷拉下她的衣领，对我说：「好看吗是你喜欢的颜色哦。」或是偶尔会穿的比较低领或是v领的衣服，挤出事业缐问我，大吗性感吗偶尔的调逗都让我好几次按捺不住想伸手搓揉，但无奈办公室的人这么多，于是我有了更进一步的念头。
我：「艾琳～跟我去五楼，之前产缐有反应清洗的问题，我们去看一下。」
（五楼是公司的顶楼，放着一堆空压机、热水机跟纯水机，另外还有一间产缐在用的清洗室，平常除了有清洗的作业，不然是不会有人在那里的，因为那间清洗室里面放的不是溶剂就是强酸液）
艾琳：「哦～等我一下，我拿个东西。」
我：「那我先上去等看一下状况。」
过了几分钟～艾琳上来了！
艾琳走进了清洗室并说：「产缐说什么问题我怎么不知道」
在她走进来的时候，我便把门关了起来。
我：「不是产缐说的，是我说的。清洗的问题。」说的同时，我从背后环抱着她，在开始在她的身驱上下其手了起来。
艾琳：「耶～不要啦！你在幹么」
我：「妳觉得我在幹么抱妳摸妳啊。」
Eileen: "Ugh~ What if someone comes? You're being ridiculous."
Me: "Who would come here during the normal season when people are getting skincare treatments? Who would come to such a toxic place normally?"
Eileen: "You know it's poison, so stop touching it!"
Because her ears are her erogenous zones, I started my assault directly on them while embracing her. While holding her, I gently blew on the back of her ears and lightly licked her earlobes with my tongue. At this point, she began to go limp all over, and I knew... she was aroused.
Eileen: "No~ Not here. You know I'll feel something, and you still do this."
Me: "I only do this because I feel something! Otherwise, why would I kiss you like this? Does it feel good?"
At that moment, I gently nibbled on her earlobe, licking her ear with my tongue, while her notebook was placed directly on the shelf next to her, and she reached down to touch my crotch.
Eileen: "Is it comfortable here?"
Me: "It's gotten bigger, and it's so uncomfortable."
Eileen turned around and squatted down, casually pulling my pants down to my ankles. Looking at my swollen penis, she kissed it with the same practiced ease, then took it into her mouth and stroked it back and forth. I bent down and grabbed my favorite D-cup breasts. She said, "Your period is coming soon, so today it feels like a small E-cup and a big D-cup, different from usual! Did you notice?"
Me: "Of course! No wonder I felt something was off; it felt different from when I grabbed it before. It's so big!"
Today she was wearing a white chiffon dress with a crimson long skirt, my favorite kind of dress. I love seeing girls in skirts, especially long skirts; they always give off a special kind of elegance. This time, coming up to the fifth floor, I didn't plan to finish so quickly. After sucking for a while, I helped her up, turned her over, and this time I lifted her long skirt, pulled down her black panties, and gently caressed her private area, which was already wet. She reached down and grabbed my penis, stroking it.
I whispered in my ear, "Is it okay?"
Eileen: "Hmm~"
So, on the fifth floor of the company, I had a thrilling sexual encounter with her;
From our first time with withdrawal to later with internal ejaculation, she thoughtfully told me she didn't like stopping halfway through to put on a condom; it felt awful. She also felt the feeling of doing it with a condom was strange, and suggested that unprotected sex was more comfortable. After each encounter, she would buy emergency contraception, explaining when it was safe and when it was risky. I truly feel that meeting her and having gone through this experience is incredibly precious.
Our sexual footprints can be found on the company rooftop, in the air compressor room, in the offices, and in the meeting rooms. Did you think that was all our achievements?
Later, I resigned. In the first six months after I left, I would meet her for meals every one or two months. Of course, I wouldn't miss such an opportunity. Because of the nature of my next job, I would sometimes drive to Company C when I was on business trips and call her to ask if she had time to have lunch together. So she would take half a day off. At noon, I would drive her to lunch, and after lunch, I would take her home. After lunch, I would drive the car to the mall parking lot and explore each other's bodies again in the car. I can only say that the space in the car is really too small. If possible, it would be better to go to a hotel.
Final Chapter
I left Company C at the end of 2016. Of course, Eileen stayed there. In a phone call after I left, I think... she must have taken her medication and didn't know what she was saying! Because I lost someone who could take care of her at work, and the time we could spend together in the future was almost nonexistent. So I remember that two days before I left, I comforted her a lot on the company's rooftop. And on the day I completed my resignation procedures, Eileen deliberately took the day off and didn't come to work.
Our conversation that time was short.
Eileen: "Waaah... Waaah..."
Me: "What happened? What's wrong?"
Eileen: "Do you know I like you?"
Me: "I know."
Eileen: "I really like you."
Eileen: "I have something to tell you, something I've never told anyone before."
Me: "What is it? Tell me."
Eileen: "You are the man I have ever truly loved, and you will be the last man I ever love."
Me: ".............I know."
Eileen: "I really don't want to..."
Eileen: "Can you please not...?"
Me: "It's getting late, don't cry anymore. If your eyes are swollen, people will ask you about it at work tomorrow."
Eileen: "Goodbye."
From that moment on, I knew... I would never forget her for the rest of my life, and I thank her for all the first times we had and the many first experiences we shared. These are memories I will never forget.

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The secret hidden deep in my heart

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