Nine short jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-16

1. Discover a pattern
Those who graduated from high schools affiliated with universities like Beijing Normal University are all top students;
Graduates of foreign language schools and their affiliated high schools are all rich, handsome, and beautiful;
Graduates from top-tier high schools like No. 1 or No. 2 are all high-ranking student leaders;
Those who graduate from certain high schools are all top-tier fighters in the DS world...
2. Phew, thank goodness my brakes worked!
Today was my first time learning to drive at a driving school. I was learning how to start on a hill. When the car was going downhill, it started rolling rapidly. The instructor yelled, "Use your foot brake!" My mind went blank for a moment. I opened the car door and stuck one foot out, scraping it on the ground to finally bring the car back to a stable speed.
3. High-end, classy and sophisticated
In high school, I sat behind a very free-spirited classmate who did everything differently from ordinary people, never following the crowd. Once, in Chinese class, the teacher assigned a semi-open-ended essay topic, asking me to write about someone who made me think of him the most.
Conventional thinking dictates expressions of admiration and respect, with a touch of aloofness or elegance, like expressing longing or concern. But this oddball wrote about the person who frightened me the most. The content is as follows:
The person who scares me the most makes me tremble just thinking about them. I'm so afraid, I don't want to think about it anymore...
4. My friend was laughing hysterically.
The school gate is a large central gate with smaller gates on either side. The gatekeepers are very dedicated; no one is allowed to leave without a leave slip.
After lunch today, I ran out through the small gate at a speed equivalent to 10.8 seconds for the 100-meter dash, and then ran back in through the main gate. As a result, the security guard chased after me straight out.
I'm eating an ice cream at the door now and he still hasn't come back.
5. Didn't have time to cry
My baby bumped his head on my teeth. Knowing his kind nature, I immediately covered my mouth and pretended to cry. Ouch, that hurts so much, Mommy!
When my baby saw me crying, he immediately came over, touched my mouth, and comforted me in various ways. Then I smiled, and my baby asked me, "Does it not hurt anymore?"
I said, "It doesn't hurt anymore," and at that moment, the baby hugged his head and started crying loudly, which confused me. The baby said, "My head hurts so much! I didn't have time to cry! I didn't have time to cry!"
6. Your attributes have been determined.
Ladies, your personality traits were actually determined during your elementary and middle school years.
For example, if a group of girls arrive at the classroom early and the door isn't open yet, are you the one who climbs through the window to open the door, the one who sits and waits at the door, the one who goes to the next classroom, or the one who happily goes to the convenience store to buy snacks?
That girl who climbed out the window was definitely a loser; the one waiting quietly was either a fresh-faced girl or a homebody; the girl next door was half goddess and half fujoshi; and the one buying snacks was definitely a foodie!
7. Men and women sighed to each other.
Women lament about men.
Talented but ugly; handsome but poor-paid.
Those who earn a lot of money neglect their families; those who care about their families lack ambition.
Ambitious but not romantic; romantic but unreliable; reliable but incompetent.
Men lament about women.
Beautiful women don't cook; those who cook aren't gentle.
Gentle women lack assertiveness; assertive women lack femininity.
Women who are feminine spend money recklessly; those who don't spend money recklessly are not fashionable; and fashionable people are not trustworthy.
It's not safe to watch.
8. Interns are really unreliable.
A young woman came to see a doctor and immediately began to complain: "These days, interns are so unreliable. They told me I 'don't have many days left before' even getting my test results, and that I should get married while I still can.' That's why doctors are always better off with more experience!"
The doctor chuckled. "Interns are all like that; they only look at the surface, and their advice is never accurate!"
"That's right. By the way, doctor, is everything alright with me?"
"Nothing's wrong, euthanasia would be best!"
9. Knowledge is power!
Xiaoming: "Today, the math teacher and the PE teacher got into a fight."
He beat the gym teacher so badly he was trembling with fear.
Dad: "It's outrageous for teachers to fight. Why?"
Xiaoming: "The math teacher said the reason he beat up the PE teacher was to teach us a lesson."
Dad: "What principle do you understand?"

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Nine short jokes

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