Selected Cold Jokes (Guest Six)

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1. A friend of mine likes to sleep naked. Even if he's wearing clothes, he'll take them off himself when he goes to sleep.
Once, when we were all on a train with hard seats, he asked us to keep an eye on things for him. He would take his clothes off in the middle of the night and we would have to call him.
When it was my turn, I was playing on my PSP when I realized he was completely naked. I yelled, and everyone in the carriage turned to look (he was sitting next to me).
As a result, he never took the train again.
2. A man was shopping when he noticed two small advertisements on the side of the road: one for treating infertility and the other for offering a large sum of money to have a child.
The man was immediately intrigued and called to inquire about the details of his fertility treatment. The woman who answered the phone boasted about how wealthy she was and how infertile her husband was.
The man felt sorry for the other person, so he gave them the phone number for infertility treatment...
3. A pretty woman stood on the riverbank, laughing and shouting into the river, "Pig, come out quickly!"
A passerby happened to be walking by and asked her curiously what had happened.
The woman said, "That's amazing! My boyfriend just learned to swim yesterday, and now he can dive for half an hour!"
4. There's a pancake vendor near the school. Every time I go to buy one, I ask, "Young man (or young woman), have you ever tried my pancakes? They're so delicious!"
One day, seeing several bottles of milk on her stall, she was about to buy some when she asked, "Young man, have you ever drunk Auntie's milk? Auntie's milk is so delicious..."
5. There was a person named Chrysanthemum. One day, it fell ill. A friend came to visit it and said, "If you are well, then it is a sunny day."
Chrysanthemum asked, "What if I'm not good enough?"
My friend said that was hemorrhoids.
6. During a company dinner, while everyone was enjoying themselves, a male colleague's wife called to check up on him. He made a "shh" gesture and then answered the phone in a serious manner.
At that moment, a female colleague quietly walked behind him and said into his phone: "Move over there to sleep a bit."
7. My wife and I were having breakfast at a Shaxian snack shop when a young couple came in. They looked like they had just started dating, and the boy was even tentatively trying to hold her hand.
I turned and kissed my wife, then looked provocatively at the young couple; the boy blushed.
The girl pulled the boy's face close and kissed him, then turned back to give me a defiant look.
Yay! I won! My wife praised me for building an eight-story pagoda.
8. If I'm not the bride on your wedding day, I will compile all our flirtatious chat logs, text messages, phone recordings, photos, etc., onto a CD and send it to your wife.
Then it says: Here's an old CD for you, listen to our love back then.
9. In my sophomore year, I took a math exam and still couldn't understand something I had studied for half a year.
I barely managed to fill in 40 points on the first two pages of the test, and I didn't understand any of the questions on the third page.
I hadn't copied anything by the time I was about to hand in my paper, so I gritted my teeth, tore off the third page, handed in the first two pages, and left the exam room.
When the results came out, it was 60 points... I guess the teacher couldn't find the third paper and was afraid of taking responsibility for losing it. So I just let it go.
10. At noon, while eating at a small restaurant near the examination venue, I overheard two examinees chatting.
A: Someone just told me Lu Xun's surname was Zhou! That's hilarious! Zhou Xun is an actress, okay? That's hilarious! I really want to smash him with a brick!
b: Yes, Lu Xun's original name was Li Dazhao, and he was from Zhejiang.

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Selected Cold Jokes (Guest Six)

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