Baidu Knows Jokes Series 4

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-18

1.
A netizen asked: Are there any weight-gain drugs on the market? What foods can I eat to gain weight?
Baidu Knows' best answer: Find a hornet's nest, stick your hand in and stir it a couple of times, and in no time you'll be so fat your own mother won't recognize you.
Comment: Bro, that's swelling...
2.
A netizen asked: How much food should a 14-year-old eat?
Baidu Knows Best Answer: There is really no limit to the supply now.
Comment: When has there ever been a rationing system? During the Han Dynasty, they ate two meals a day. Oh, the lower castes in India don't eat much. Is this guy from the Ganges River?
3.
A netizen asked: How to wash clothes clean?
Baidu Knows Best Answer: Wash frequently
Comment: Sometimes the truth really does hit home.
4.
A netizen asked: The baby will be born in February 2007. The father's surname is Zhang and the mother's surname is Wang. Please suggest a name. What if it's a boy or a girl? Preferably a two-character name with a verb-object structure.
Baidu Knows Best Answer: King Octopus, with subject, verb, and object.
Review: To be honest, I didn't see the verb-object structure at all. If any of you brothers figured it out, please let me know... Also, the takoyaki place near the Celebrity Commercial Building on Nanjing East Road is pretty good, I think it's the one from the World Expo. Look at me, what a foodie I am, where did I even begin to ramble...?
5.
A netizen asked: Five children sharing one cake
Only three cuts are allowed.
How to divide
Baidu Knows Best Answer: Kill a child with a single stab.
Then, cut the cake in half horizontally and vertically and give it to the four children.
Review: A protagonist from Qidian! The sofa is too short (the original phrase was "decisive and ruthless," which I first encountered in *Dream of the Red Chamber* when describing Wang Xifeng)!
6.
A netizen asked: Someone introduced me to a potential partner. His father is a bureau chief, his uncle works in the Ministry of Foreign Trade, and his maternal uncle is a manager in Hong Kong! What should I do?
Baidu Knows Best Answer: That's a really good match! So, which one do you plan to marry?
Comment: Hey mm, posting flashbangs online like that will get you photographed!
7.
A netizen asked: How can I forget someone?
Baidu Knows' best answer: Hold the red wire in your left hand and the black wire in your right hand, connect the red and black wires to a 220V voltage, and you can forget about it.
Comment: I was moved to tears by Andy Lau's "Forgetful Water".
8.
A netizen asked: The college entrance examination essay topic this year was so ridiculous. They asked us to write about "drought". Drought my ass! They've been drenched by rain. I don't know if they've lost their minds.
Baidu Knows Best Answer: Huh? Holy crap, I read it as "early" and then handed in my paper early to tell the teacher what "early" meant. What an idiot! I probably got zero.
The questioner's evaluation of the answer: Sorry, buddy, I was an idiot. The essay topic was "Early." I don't know if you got zero points or not, but I got zero points.
Comment: We're all in the same boat, why be so stupid when we meet?
9.
A netizen asked: I've fallen for a girl who's six years younger than me and is still in middle school. It's such a tragedy!
Baidu Knows Best Answer: Removing the word "like" would be truly a sin.
Comment: This is not only a crime, but also illegal.
10.
A netizen asked: Give me a woman, and I can create a nation.
Baidu Knows Best Answer: Well, if I give you a sow, the price of pork will drop next year!
Comment: This... Xu Xian could sleep with snakes, so you can sleep with... what???

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Baidu Knows Jokes Series 4

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