The child's father and three other articles

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1. My wife has a very close best friend who comes to our house every day to chat with her.
A few months ago, she got pregnant. During her pregnancy, she said that regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl, she wants my wife and me to be her godparents. We were very happy.
Last night, she was about to give birth, and my wife and I went to help. At the hospital, the doctor asked, "Who is the father?" My wife's best friend's husband and I answered in unison, "Me."
The scene was very awkward. Looking at my wife next to me, her face turned green. Comment: When you get home, choose one to kneel on: the washboard, the remote control, or instant noodles!
2. My silly wife came back from grocery shopping this morning and immediately went into the kitchen, holding a piece of pork in one hand and one of her breasts in the other, repeatedly weighing them up and down.
I asked her, "What are you doing?" She said, "Comparing the weight." I said, "Nonsense, is that even allowed?"
She said: "Super accurate! Last time I bought two pounds of meat, and when I weighed them together, I felt the weight was off. So I went back to weigh them again, and sure enough, I was shortchanged! The butcher obediently gave me two ounces more meat!
Damn, this is the first time in my life I've known that a woman's breasts, besides other uses, can also function as a weight on a scale!" Comment: This shows how well this girl knows the weight of her breasts!
3. I fell asleep on my phone in bed at night, and someone shook me awake. I groggily opened my eyes and saw a pale face pressed against my head, staring at me. I was so scared that I instinctively slapped him
and heard a scream, followed by my wife's angry shout: "You've gone too far! You think I'm a little lamb just because I put a face mask on? Today I'll show you what a wolf in sheep's clothing is!"
"Ouch! Wife, this is a... slap slap slap slap slap slap slap... misunderstanding... slap slap slap slap..."

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The child's father and three other articles

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