Family jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-20

1. Your dad isn't as awesome as his dad.
My child told me tonight, "Dad, I want to take the driving test."
I said, "Son, you're still too young to get a driver's license."
Kid, you're talking nonsense. That guy named Li Tianyi got his driver's license years ago.
He's not even an adult yet. I turned around and wiped away my tears.
Turning back to the child, he said, "Your dad isn't as awesome as his dad."
Is this a case of getting shot even when lying down?
My mom and my wife are making dumplings.
I also watched a TV program about mediating mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships.
My wife suddenly asked:
"Mom, what will you do if I treat you badly?"
My mom pointed a rolling pin at me:
"Then I'll beat him up every day, it's his own fault for not knowing how to choose a wife!"
Holy crap, am I just getting shot even when I'm not doing anything wrong...?
3. Which friend's daughter?
My dad called me around 11 p.m. last night.
He gave me a QQ number, saying it belonged to a pretty girl!
Let me make the most of this opportunity... I asked him whose daughter he was.
He said he saw it on the street, and it was very beautiful.
I just went and asked for a number... I feel so ashamed...
4 teams wiped out
My friend's whole family went to Dalian for a trip, including his mother-in-law, etc.
It was the entire families of both the man and woman who booked the plane tickets.
There is insurance for each person costing twenty silver dollars.
I asked my friend if they should buy insurance... My friend is conflicted.
They're settling the bill there, twenty yuan per person, what if something happens...
A voice came from below: "They're all fucking wiped out!"
What's the point of insurance...?
Total wipeout... wipeout... okay... you win.
5. I'll make you a mask so you can continue using it.
I was holding an old pair of underwear, about to throw it away, when my grandma saw it and said to me...
This design is quite nice; I'll make it into a face mask for you to continue using.
6. Who's watching me?
I was already in bed, ready to sleep, and my wife climbed into bed too.
My son said, "Mom, I don't want to sleep. I want to play for a while."
Mom: "Okay!"
Son: "Then come out and play with me."
Mom: "No! I want to sleep!"
Son: "Then who will watch me?"
Mom: "Mouse!"
I burst out laughing!
7. People who can borrow money and not repay it
My dad asked me who my best friend is.
I said I didn't know, and he said it was him.
I asked him why, and he proudly replied, "Because of your father."
He's the only person you can borrow money from and never pay back.
8 You're going to be a grandson.
Today, while having dinner with my husband...
I said: I'm pregnant.
As a result, my husband got so excited that he immediately called his dad and said:
Dad, you're going to be a grandson.
9. If I grow up and have money
I overheard a conversation between my neighbors, a father and son, today.
My laughter still hurts.
Mischievous kid: Dad, what if I'm rich when I grow up?
I'll buy a plane and fly it to take you to work every day.
His father immediately retorted: "You have money to buy an airplane!"
You still want me to go to work?! I'll beat you to death!
10. Can you please stop calling me "Mommy, Mommy" all the time?
My son wants to talk to me about everything.
One day I lost my temper and yelled at him.
Can you please stop calling me "Mommy" all the time?
It's annoying me.
He walked away silently, and after a while,

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