5 humorous jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-22

1. My chat gave me away.
A guy on WeChat asked if I was there and how I was doing. I stupidly replied, "Not bad, that's all."
Then he asked to borrow money, so I had to keep replying "Not bad, that's all," doing this several times as if it were an auto-reply.
Finally, he said, "Fuck you! If you don't have money, just say so! I understand, but WeChat doesn't have an auto-reply function, you know?!"
2. We're all thinking the same thing.
Today I took a drunk girl home. After putting her on the bed and covering her with a blanket, I turned to leave, but she grabbed me: "I was actually pretending to be drunk! Looks like you're really serious, so I decided to tell you, the condom is under the pillow!"
I was furious: "You should have said so earlier! I was just about to go downstairs to buy some!"
3. Who's the most powerful in Journey to the West?
In class, the teacher asked: "Who's the most powerful in Journey to the West? Does anyone know?"
Xiao Hong: Sun Wukong is the most powerful, he has seventy-two transformations;
Xiao Qiang: No, it's Guanyin, she can recite the Tightening-Headband Mantra;
Dong Dong: None of them, Buddha is the most powerful, he slapped Sun Wukong under the Five Fingers Mountain and suppressed him for five hundred years!
The teacher looked at Xiao Ming who was thinking and asked: Xiao Ming, do you know who is the most powerful?
Xiao Ming: Teacher, I think none of them are powerful, Sun Wukong's father is the most powerful, because he can make stones pregnant.
Teacher: Get out.
4. The reason why Mom doesn't play mahjong
Mom likes to play mahjong, but after I was born, for me and for the whole family, Mom resolutely gave up mahjong, because she felt that hitting me was more fun.
5. Carrying a valuable jade disc gets you struck by lightning
In Chinese class, the teacher asked: "There is an idiom that says a person was originally innocent, but because he carried a valuable jade disc, he was punished and brought disaster upon himself. What is this idiom?"

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5 humorous jokes

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