10 short jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-28

1. Teacher: Why do wizards ride brooms instead of benches? Student: Because riding a broom is much cooler than riding a bench, and if they encounter an enemy they can't beat, they can disguise themselves as a sweeper.
Comment: This is the truth behind Harry Potter's survival to the end!
2. When the clothing store manager returned from lunch, he found his employee's hand bandaged. Before he could ask, the employee told him some good news. "I finally sold that awful suit that's been sitting here all this time!" the manager exclaimed. "I thought I'd never get rid of that monster suit, thank goodness! What happened to your hand?" The employee said, "After I sold the suit to that guy, his guide dog jumped up and bit me hard."
Comment: That guide dog is really dedicated.
3. A brilliant way to hide your secret stash of money: One day, I was gossiping with a group of stock market friends, and somehow the topic turned to secret stashes of money. While everyone was lamenting that no matter what, someone would find out, an uncle quietly said: I keep it all in the bank. The crowd asked, "What about the passbook or card?" The uncle smiled憨厚ly: "Burn it. When you need it, just take your ID card to get a replacement."
Comment: This uncle is amazing, he's mastered the art of hiding his secret stash of money.
4. The only difference between a friend and an assassin is: When an assassin stabs you in the back, you turn around and painfully say, "Ah, who is this?" ---- When a friend stabs you in the back, you turn around in surprise and say, "Ah, it's you!"
Comment: Indeed, that's the biggest difference between a friend and an assassin.
5. We all know that girls have their period every month, and we call it "good friend," but do you know why we call it that?
→ Breaking down the three characters for "good friend" reveals the meaning: "A woman has her period every month!"
Comment: This is the naked truth!
6. A guy in my dorm bought a new t-shirt with the letters "icisboy" on the back. A few days ago in class, another guy and his girlfriend were sitting behind him, trying to figure out what the letters meant. This guy said it should be interpreted as "I fuck, I'm a boy," but his girlfriend said,
"It should be 'I fuck, I'm an idiot,' oh yeah!"...
Comment: This guy's girlfriend has quite the imagination.
7. Three beautiful women, A, B, and C, were discussing their boyfriends. When the topic turned to oral sex...
A said: "Every time I give my boyfriend Zhang a blowjob, his testicles feel so cold, they have no warmth at all.
" B said: "My boyfriend Li is the same."
They then asked C: "What about your boyfriend Chen's testicles?
" C said: "Hmph! I wouldn't do such a dirty thing!"
A and B shouted together: "Stupid girl! You have to know how to give men a blowjob to keep their hearts!"
C hesitated for a long time and said: "I'll try it when I get home today."
The next day...
C appeared in front of the other two with a bruised and swollen face.
They asked in surprise: "What happened to you?"
Beauty C said resentfully: "It's all because of that shitty guy...
Yesterday, after I gave him a blowjob, he looked so satisfied, but then I said one thing and he attacked me..."
They asked anxiously: "What did you say?
" Beauty C said: "I didn't say anything... but...
your balls are so warm! So different from Zhang's and Li's ice-cold balls..."
Comment: After saying that, it would be a miracle if she didn't get beaten up.
8. Xiao Wang called his girlfriend: "I don't have a day off this week because my company commander wants me to guard the camp (masturbate)."
His girlfriend scolded: "How can you say such a shameless thing?!" and hung up.
Xiao Wang thought his girlfriend would be very angry if he didn't get a day off, so he immediately went to talk to the company commander, who agreed to give him a day off.
Xiao Wang happily called his girlfriend: "Our company commander gave me a day off!!"
His girlfriend asked: "How come so fast?"
Xiao Wang: "It's all thanks to my mouth!"
Comment: This made the misunderstanding between the two even bigger.
9. There's a girl in my class, a total pervert, whose QQ nickname is "Refuse." Once, I curiously asked her, "Why do you have that name?" She replied with a shy emoji, "Don't you think adding a radical would make it more subtle?"
Comment: Remove the "hand" radical and it becomes "Giant Pervert," indeed subtle enough.
10. Yesterday, I was shopping with classmates A and B when we encountered a couple with a four or five-year-old boy. The boy was throwing a tantrum, and his father angrily cursed: "Fuck your mother, blah blah blah..." A disdainfully said: "This father has no manners; cursing like that will corrupt the child..." B calmly said: "He wasn't cursing; he was just stating a common fact..." Girlfriend: "..."

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10 short jokes

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