Hilarious jokes about men and women, super funny

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1. Me: What should I do if we disagree on which movie to choose when asking a girl to go to the movies? Buddy: You disagree on which movie to ask a girl to go to the movies? Looks like you really want to see a movie…?

2. Man asks woman: “Do you like looking at fat, ugly faces?” Woman replies: “How could I? Nobody likes that.” Man replies: “Then why do you carry a mirror with you every day?”

3. “My girlfriend is too fat, what’s the best way to break up with her?” “Sometimes, you’re so heavy I can’t breathe.”

4. The restaurant I ate at today was terrible at business. They had an electronic scale at the entrance. I watched many women come in, see the scale, step on it, their faces change drastically, they frown and walk away without looking back…

5. I’m a lowly clothing store owner! Today a pretty girl in a miniskirt came into my store looking at pants. I asked her what size she wore. Her answer shocked me: “I haven’t worn pants in ages, I don’t know what size!”

6. A book says: If your wife is angry, just pin her down on the bed and have sex with her, and she’ll calm down. I tried it a few times, and it actually worked! But now my wife gets angry all the time, and I feel like I've been tricked...

7. The wife gave birth to a blond, blue-eyed child, which made the husband furious. He yelled, "I told you not to eat foreign genetically modified foods, but you wouldn't listen!"

8. Husband: Wife, if one day you find out I'm having an affair, will you divorce me? Wife calmly replied: No, I'd rather remain a widow.

9. A woman next to me, her husband worked in a coal mine and tragically died in a mining accident two years ago. I heard they received a lot of compensation, and she became a widow. Friends and relatives tried to set her up with all sorts of people from various professions, but she refused to marry anyone but a coal miner.

10. My ex-girlfriend invited me to her wedding, where I sat at a table with a bunch of strangers. A guy next to me asked who the bride was. I replied, "I'm just here to see the place where I fought before!" Unexpectedly, everyone at the table raised their glasses and said, "Oh, so you're all comrades-in-arms! My apologies!"

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Hilarious jokes about men and women, super funny

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