The 10 most disgusting jokes about poop, see how many you can stand.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-04

1. I have principles.
On a cold winter day, two beggars wandered the streets.
"I'm so hungry, I feel like I could eat a whole cow right now!" said Beggar A.
"Me too, I'm starving! If this telephone pole in front of us were edible, I would eat it from the top to the bottom." Beggar B retorted.
The two beggars passed by a small tavern. Someone there had drunk too much, or perhaps the wind had chilled their stomach, leaving a puddle of vomit in front of the tavern. The two beggars stared blankly at the vomit.
"To be honest, I really want to eat this vomit," Beggar A said blankly.
"I'm starving too, but this is someone else's vomit, it's disgusting," Beggar B said, somewhat embarrassed.
"I don't care anymore, are you going to eat or not?" Beggar A asked.
"It's disgusting, I won't eat it. Even beggars have their limits!" Beggar B declared righteously.
"Can I eat this all by myself?!" With that, Beggar A bent down and began to eat the vomit.
After a while, Beggar A finished eating, and the two continued strolling forward.
Perhaps because it was winter, the vomit was too cold, and after Beggar A ate it, his stomach seemed a little upset. However, he still forced himself to endure it. But after all, it was vomit, and the thought of it made Beggar A feel a little nauseous. Beggar B, on the other hand, was even more hungry and looked a little regretful.
After a while, Beggar A couldn't hold it in any longer and vomited.
At this moment, beggar B quickly bent down and began to eat beggar A's vomit.
"Hey, hey, didn't you say you found it disgusting? Why are you eating vomit too?" Beggar A asked, puzzled.
"Idiot, I have principles. I only eat hot food. Besides, isn't this stall offering more food than the last one?"
The beggar B said without looking up
2. Once, while shopping, I suddenly felt a stomach ache, so I went into the 199 All-You-Can-Eat Hot Pot restaurant on the corner, hoping to use the restroom. I searched the entire first floor but couldn't find one. So I went up to the second floor, which was under renovation and completely empty. However, I found a restroom door with a sign that read "Out of service, do not use." I couldn't hold it in any longer, so I didn't care. Since no one was around, I pulled down my pants and squatted down on the toilet. Splash! So satisfying!
After it was over, I went downstairs and found the place deserted. Strange, it was packed with people just moments before during dinner time. How could it all be empty now? Even the waiters and receptionists were gone…
So I went over to the bar and asked, "Is anyone here? Why is everyone gone?"
At that moment, a male waiter emerged from under the bar.
And then he said, "Damn it! ...Weren't you here when the poop fell from the ceiling and hit the fan?"
You're lucky...
3 Once, I had a fight with my husband and felt very upset. While he was fast asleep, I squatted above his head, intending to fart so he could smell it and feel better. But I used too much force and pooped all over his face.
4. A man with obsessive-compulsive disorder entered a restaurant, ordered food, and sat down.
After a while, he suddenly saw a waiter carrying the dishes he had ordered coming over.
He actually stuck his thumb into the food.
He suddenly felt nauseous, but he managed to suppress it.
Later, the same waiter would bring out dishes with his hands stuck in them.
Finally, he finished his meal. He decided to report the waiter to the manager.
Of course, the manager was furious, thinking it was very unhygienic.
They called the waiter over and asked him.
However, the waiter explained, "I'm sorry, I injured my thumb."
The doctor said to keep the temperature warm at all times, so I did it this way. But this...
The man, who was obsessed with cleanliness, was still very unhappy, so he said to him, "If you want to keep it warm, don't you..."
"Put your hand up your ass!" At this point, the waiter hurriedly replied...
He replied, "That's right, when I'm not serving food, I keep my hands in my butt."
5. A man was defecating in the toilet. He strained, his legs went numb from squatting, but he still couldn't poop. Just then, another man walked into the toilet and hurriedly went to another stall. **Slurping and gurgling** He pooped like a torrent, really urgently. The man who had been straining watched and said enviously, "Wow, you're so quick!" Later, the first man said, "Quick my ass! I didn't even have time to take my pants off."
Xiao Mei especially loves pig's blood cake. Every time she sees a stall selling it on the roadside, she always buys some to satisfy her craving. One day, she saw an elderly woman in her sixties selling it and bought some to eat. After eating it, she found the pig's blood cake to be exceptionally delicious, so she wanted to pay the elderly woman the highest respect.
Mei: "Grandma, why does your pig's blood cake smell so good?"
Grandma: "The materials are precious, so we can only sell them for a few days a month."
Mei: "Wow! Such precious materials, where did you get them?"
Grandma: "Sigh, I used it for decades, and now it's old and gone. Now I can only rely on my daughter." Mei:
"*&%@"
When I was 7 years old, during one Spring Festival, everyone was wearing new clothes. A group of kids, carrying firecrackers, were setting them off everywhere. That time, we threw a lit firecracker into a public toilet. After a while, it didn't go off, and we assumed it was wet from poop and pee and had gone out. I said it was out and we didn't care, but one kid wouldn't believe me and insisted on checking. The moment his head went in, there was a deafening bang! The kid turned around, and his face was covered in blobs! We were horrified, burst out laughing, and nearly fainted. Afterwards, my dad gave me a severe beating. Even now, thinking about it makes me lose my appetite.
8. Another time, I went to poop. Damn, I was constipated for a while, and my anal sphincter couldn't work. I struggled for ages, and all I got were loose bits of peanuts falling out. I had some vermicelli I'd eaten for lunch, and when I was halfway through, it was stuck in mid-air, neither going up nor down. I tried to snap it off, but the vermicelli was surprisingly chewy and wouldn't break. So I just pinched it off with my hand. But that wasn't very hygienic. Suddenly, I felt something stuck between my teeth. I checked and found half a vermicelli from lunch stuck in my mouth. I pulled on it, trying to pull it out, but I also pulled out a bit of the other half. With a strain of my anal sphincter, the vermicelli in my hand went right into my mouth. I was in a hurry to get to class.
Without thinking too much, I just pulled it all out with my hand. I wiped it off and went to class, my mouth all yellow. There was soup running down my face (sorry, I had diarrhea that day), and my classmates all asked what was wrong. I explained that I had just gone out and had a bowl of millet porridge.
Nine hours ago, I was urinating in one of those latrines shaped like a pool. Then, I accidentally fell backward. It was summer! Afterward, I couldn't sink or float; there was so much poop in the pool. I just tilted my head back, wanting to scream but unable to. The poop and pee were overflowing onto my face. I was like a diver; the stench was indescribable. There were also many tiny mosquitoes. I floated in the latrine for about five minutes when I saw a toad crawling towards my face. Its claws were scratching at my face—it was terrifying! I was so scared! Someone passing by saw me in there and was terrified. Then, a guy grabbed a few strands of hair sticking out of the poop and pulled me up. It was so smelly! He lost his grip, and with a thud, I went down again. The feeling was nauseating! Later, my grandma dragged me into the water and frantically flushed me out. I almost died in the latrine!
Ten beautiful women, truly beautiful. A bowl of mixed stew was served. They started eating…and finished. They tried to vomit, then gagging themselves. They ate again, vomited again. This repeated many times until finally…only a sticky, porridge-like liquid came out. They ate again. No more vomiting. One of the women lifted her shirt and began. Exposing her beautiful buttocks. She defecated…while the other woman's mouth caught it directly below. Very dry stool. Sometimes it wasn't flowing smoothly, so the woman below would bite down with her tongue and teeth, pulling it down! About 30 centimeters of stool was eaten, and she even licked her lips with a look of ecstasy. I couldn't understand Japanese, but it seemed like she was burping. Then, the one who defecated urinated, and she drank that too. Only then did she wipe her mouth comfortably. Then they switched again, the one who ate defecating, and the one who defecated eating.
They finished eating. They both gagged themselves and vomited everything back into the bowl. Then they fought over it, scooping out the dry bits from the bowl, still in stick-like shapes. Sometimes, to be fair, they'd each take one end and share a stick.

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The 10 most disgusting jokes about poop, see how many you can stand.

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