[35 Classic One-Line Jokes]

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1. The first guy to know that milk was drinkable, what exactly did you do to the cow?
2. When money speaks, all "truth" falls silent.
3. Regarding the phrase "especially able to endure hardship," I thought about it, and I achieved the first four... 4. Someone like you would only survive two episodes in a TV series at most.
5. I won't even take the basin of water that's been spilled.
6. When I woke up this morning, I thought I had grown taller overnight, but it turned out that I had just covered myself with the blanket sideways. 7. Never argue with your parents, because when you can't win the argument, you will only get scolded, and when you can win the argument, you will only get beaten.
8. Today, I went to retrieve a message in a bottle from QQ. I got one, but when I looked at it, I was devastated! "One more bottle."
9. I drew a coffin, and inside lie you and her. How kind I am, letting you die together.
10. God wanted to hear music, so He took Leslie Cheung. God wanted to see dancing, so He took Michael Jackson. God wanted to use an iPhone 5, so He took Steve Jobs.
11. No matter how high your official rank or how much money you have, the King of Hell will still drag you in.
12. Every time I take an exam, I really want to fill the paper with "Just Google it and you'll know," to annoy the examiners.
13. A science student cursed: "You're practically the solution set of x+2>4!" It took him a while to figure out the answer was "two to positive infinity"... 14. A girl like you shouldn't get married. Even if you do, you'll just be a burden to someone else.
15. School, you may have my body, but you can't have my heart.
16. "Is my face oily?" "It reflects light, you can't see clearly."
17. "When I was little, I loved playing hide-and-seek. After everyone else had hidden, I would go home for dinner."
18. Three apples changed the world: one tempted Eve, one woke Newton, and one was bitten by Steve Jobs.
19. Old Man of the Moon, did you break my red string?
20. On September 1st more than a decade ago, I happily slung my schoolbag over my shoulder and skipped into school, thus embarking on a path of no return.
21. When China becomes developed, we'll need foreigners to translate classical Chinese.
22. In the past, once you cooked the raw rice into cooked rice, the woman was yours. Now, even if you cook the raw rice into popcorn, it won't work.
23. If exams were rewarded with qb (a virtual currency), the country would immediately become rich and powerful.
24. The chemistry teacher asked, "What should I do if there's a gas leak at home?" The teacher stood up and said, "Have a smoke to calm down." 25. Dial 110 now and you can win a 7-day trip to the detention center, complete with exquisite handcuffs, stylish prison uniforms, free police car pick-up and drop-off, and a free haircut for the first 10 people.
26. It took you 5 minutes to get up this time. You have already beaten 88% of students in the country. There is still one student in the dormitory who failed to get up and is restarting. The entire dormitory next door has crashed!
27. Cheating on exams: Teamwork is key. Copying is the main method, guessing is secondary. A combination of copying and guessing ensures passing; anyone who dares to snitch will face violence after class.
28. A woman: "What do you see in me? I'll change, okay?" A man: "I just like you, not me. Change it!" 29. I read time-travel novels every day, and now even the toilet looks like a time-travel hole.
30. During a math exam, three teachers were proctoring. Risking her life, she passed him a note: "Do you know how to do question three?" After a long while, the note read: "I do!"
31. If you watched as trees turned into notebooks, would you still have the heart to do your homework? To protect nature, we won't do homework. — 32. There are fewer Lei Fengs and more ridiculous people; fewer people serve the people and more people serve the RMB; fewer people help their grandmothers cross the street and more people help their mistresses cross the street.
33. My stomach hurts today, and I feel nauseous. I had an exam this afternoon, and halfway through, I couldn't hold it in and threw up. The teacher came over and asked with concern, "What's wrong? Were the questions too disgusting?" 34. The teacher asked: If one egg hits another egg, which one breaks? A student said: "The heart breaks!" The teacher asked: "Whose heart?" The student replied: "The hen's heart!"
35. So the English word for ambulance is "ambulance"—the Chinese pronunciation is: "I can't die." I remembered it right away!

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[35 Classic One-Line Jokes]

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