Why don't jerks ever yell lame jokes?!

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-14

1. When I ran into an old classmate while shopping with my son, the little guy rudely stared at the classmate.
I smacked him on the head: "You brat, why don't you even greet people?"
He retorted defiantly, "Who says I can't!"
Then he shouted at his old classmate, "You bitch!"
2. Zhang Wuji said, "I apologize for offending you, but I did this to save everyone's lives!" After saying that, he grabbed Zhao Min's left foot and tore off her shoes and socks.
Zhao Min said, "What are you doing!"
Zhang Wuji didn't answer, but instead ripped off her right shoe and sock, and pressed his finger on her Yongquan acupoint. Suddenly, she let out a scream, spat out a mouthful of blood, and fainted to the ground...
The director, wearing a gas mask, slapped his thigh and exclaimed, "Damn it! I told you long ago that Yang Mi playing Zhao Min was risky, but the investors wouldn't listen!"
3. Zhang Wuji said, "I'm sorry for offending you, but I'm doing this to save everyone's lives!" After saying that, he grabbed Zhao Min's left foot and tore off her shoes and socks.
Zhao Min said, "What are you doing!"
Zhang Wuji didn't answer, but instead ripped off her right shoe and sock, and pressed his finger on her Yongquan acupoint. Suddenly, she let out a scream, spat out a mouthful of blood, and fainted to the ground...
The director, wearing a gas mask, slapped his thigh and exclaimed, "Damn it! I told you long ago that Yang Mi playing Zhao Min was risky, but the investors wouldn't listen!"
4. I went on a blind date yesterday. The girl, her parents, and I ate together in an awkward and tense atmosphere.
I choked while I was eating.
When the girl saw this, she quickly made me a big bowl of soup.
I was taking big gulps when I suddenly heard an older woman at the next table say, "Young man, drink slowly, don't make it sound like you're flushing the toilet..."
5. Male: Hi!
Woman: Hi!
Man: Have you eaten?
Woman: Have you eaten?
Man: You're copying me?
Woman: You're copying me?
Man: I love you!
Woman: I've already eaten! :-)
This is a sad story...
6. Wang Nima hit Zhang Nima, a classmate. The teacher asked him, "Why did you hit him?"
Wang Nima replied that Li Nima had told him to hit her.
The teacher was furious after hearing this, "If I tell you to hit someone, you hit them; if I tell you to eat shit, you eat it or not?"
After hearing this, Wang Nima stormed off without saying a word.
After a while, the teacher hurriedly called the class monitor over, "Go and see what Wang Nima has gone to do!"
7. Xiao Chen had worked all day and was very dirty and tired, so he went to the red-light district to relax.
I booked a pretty girl, and she came into the room, took off her clothes, and said, "Wash these dirty clothes!"
The young lady was very dissatisfied: "What kind of person do you take me for!"
Xiao Chen chuckled: "The laundry chicken!"
8. A young man asked a Zen master: "Wang Fei and Li Yapeng are both divorced, does that mean love never existed?"
The Zen master smiled slightly, pointed to a hammer in front of him, and said to the young man, "Look at this and you will understand."
After pondering for a long time, the young man said thoughtfully, "Does the master mean that the meaning of love is like this hammer, seemingly ordinary, but as long as you persist, it can become incredibly strong?"
The master closed his eyes and said, "No! What I mean is: what business is it of yours what they get in their divorce!"
9. Whenever I lie in bed lamenting how hard it is to find a job and how hard it is to earn money, I take out my phone and check my text messages.
Only then did I realize that the prize money I won had already exceeded one million, including a BMW, five iPads, a son who was in a car accident and was lying in the hospital waiting for me to send money to save his life, and a daughter who was caught by the police for having an affair with a friend and was waiting for me to send money to bail her out.
Millions in wealth, a son and a daughter—thank you scammers, only you can fulfill my dream!
10. The traffic is terrible on my way to work. I've been waiting for 5 minutes and the car hasn't moved an inch!
Out of desperation, I honked my horn incessantly to urge the car in front to move faster.

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Why don't jerks ever yell lame jokes?!

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