Three jokes

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1. [Joke] The Ruyi Jingu Bang (Golden Cudgel)
Tang Sanzang and Sun Wukong both pursued the goddess, but the goddess chose Sun Wukong.
Tang Sanzang, unconvinced, asked the goddess, "I'm handsome, a civil servant, speak Sanskrit, have the emperor as my brother and powerful backing, and even own a BMW. He has no house, no car, works as a dangerous bodyguard, beats women at the drop of a hat, and even spent 500 days in prison at Five Finger Mountain. What's the matter?"
Goddess: "He has the Ruyi Jingu Bang (magic staff)."
Tang Sanzang turned and left...
2. [Joke] Honey, could you please turn off the bedside lamp?
A friend asked Old Tom, "Why don't you get married?" Old Tom replied, "It takes two to tango; what's the use of me being anxious all by myself?" Later, Old Tom finally got married. His friend then asked him how it was. His neighbor quickly answered, "I hear the sound of slapping every day!"
John visited Jenny that evening. After chatting for a while, John made his request: "Darling, you don't mind if I turn off the hallway light, do you?" Jenny quickly replied, "Of course not, I don't mind." He couldn't resist asking again, "Could you also turn off the light above our heads?" "Whatever you want," Jenny agreed once more. "Darling," he said cheerfully, "could you also turn off the bedside light?" "Whatever you say." Jenny was in a very good mood at the moment, so she agreed to every request John made.
Finally, in the darkness, John raised his hand to Jenny and said, "Look, isn't my new luminous watch worth two hundred dollars?"
Woman: "I'm having nightmares every night now, what should I do?" Man: "What kind of dreams are they?" Woman: "I dream that I'm wearing a big ball gown and carrying a handbag, walking down the street." Man: "Oh, what kind of nightmare is that? It's okay." Woman: "Who says it's okay! Big ball gowns aren't fashionable anymore!!! And that handbag is a three-year-old vintage item."
3. [Joke] Victory
This is about a friend of mine. He called me one day to say his wife was pregnant and he wanted to drop out of school to go home and get married. I said, "Forget it, she's doing so well in college, is she just going to give up?" But my friend said, "The baby has it tough too. Not only did it defeat hundreds of millions of guys, but it also defeated condoms! It has to be born..."

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Three jokes

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