Jokes that infuriate the French teach you how to identify the French.

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Q: What should we call the 100,000 French people who raised their hands at the same time?
A: Of course, it's the French Army.
Q: How could the French defeat the British?
A: It needs to be under the leadership of a woman. (Referring to Joan of Arc)
Q: Why was the First French Empire almost invincible?
A: Because their king was a foreigner. (Napoleon was Corsican.) Q: How can one identify a French veteran?
A: Just look at his armpits; they're very healthy from being sunburned there.
Q: Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
A: Because Germans prefer to march in the shade.
Q: Why did it take Germany three days to conquer France during World War II?
A: Because it was raining at the time.
Q: Why did the French give the Statue of Liberty to the United States?
A: Because only one of her arms is raised.
Q: Why do the French always seem to get so many votes at the United Nations?
A: Because they always raise their hands.
Q: Why are all French fighter jets named "Mirage"?
A: Because they don't exist at all.
Q: What does "Maginot" mean in German?
A: Welcome, welcome! A warm welcome.
Q: Why do we always say that the French Foreign Legion is the most legitimate unit in the entire French army?
A: It should be because it is entirely composed of foreigners.
Q: Can anyone tell me what the French flag actually looks like?
A: It's simply painting two colored stripes on a white flag.
Q: What is the shortest book in the world?
A: It's a book about French war heroes.
Q: Why did the French celebrate so wildly after winning the 1998 World Cup?
A: Because that was the first thing they won without the help of outside forces. Oh, sorry, I forgot Zidane is Algerian.
Q: Why does the French Navy prefer to use warships with transparent glass bottoms?
A: In order to be able to see their warships more clearly.
Q: What did the mayor of Paris say to the German troops when they entered the city?
A: Do we need 100,000 tables, gentlemen?
Q: Why are the French afraid of war?
A: Good heavens, who isn't afraid of war, especially if they never win?
Q: How can you stop a French army on horseback?
A: Just turn off the carousel.
Q: What is the greatest advantage of being French?
A: You can surrender when the war starts and someone else will help you win the war.
"I would rather have a German division in front of my troops than a French division behind them." --- General George Patton asked: If the French were to sell off their surplus World War II rifles, what would their advertising slogan be?
A: "Brand new, never been fired, only thrown on the ground once."

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Jokes that infuriate the French teach you how to identify the French.

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