My wife says I have a thick skin.

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Every night I prayed to God: God, please give me a girl! Many years have passed, and although my wish has not been fulfilled, it has still proven that God does not understand Chinese.
It was raining heavily, and a girl who didn't have an umbrella shared one with a boy. Perhaps feelings blossomed in the rain, and she said to the boy, "Will you be my prince?" The boy paused for a moment, then slowly replied, "Should I call you Mother Queen?"
I was having dinner when a female friend said, "Since land in the US is freehold, why doesn't China just send people over and buy all the land in the US? Then America would become China's, and the Chinese Dream would be realized!" Me: ...Don't be so bold. Even if you were strong, could you hold your pee?
I'm a fat guy, and I've been trying to lose weight by running lately, but I keep experiencing chest pain. At first, I didn't know what was wrong, but yesterday I saw a joke online about a female user who was experiencing chest pain because she wasn't wearing a bra. It dawned on me! I wrapped my chest with bandages, and sure enough, it didn't hurt when I ran today.
One day, Xiaoming fell ill. His chest hurt terribly when he pressed it, so he went to see a doctor. He asked, "Why does it hurt so much when I press my chest?" What kind of illness is this? The doctor calmly replied, "If you don't press it, it won't hurt anymore!"...The doctor died!
The office is such a magical place; your phone, wallet, and car keys can sit on your desk for a week without anyone touching them, but if your pen is out of sight for even an hour, it will definitely disappear.
My husband loves playing League of Legends and makes me do all the housework. One day, seeing him playing again, I asked him, annoyed, "What level are you now?" He replied, "Level 30." I said, "You can't play anymore once you reach level 31, or we'll get a divorce." He was speechless. Yesterday at a restaurant, a slightly drunk man at the next table was rambling on and on, his Mandarin accent terrible. He said, "Out-of-towners, in, in this place, are all, all pigs, pigs, pigs..." Hearing this, a big man next to him stood up and slapped him across the face. The man glared and continued, "Most people rent, rent, rent rooms..." Then he collapsed to the ground.
Since the saying "Money talks" became popular in 2014, I've felt a pang of sadness. However, I also feel adorable even without money, and I'm quite determined to earn it. Actually, deep down, I just want to be a handsome man quietly, but every time I look in the mirror, the image is too beautiful to bear. In this world where looks matter, I guess I'll learn some skills to make a living. So, the question is, "Which excavator technology is the best?" Thinking about this makes me speechless.
"My Five Elements are lacking water and fire, what kind of tattoo should I get?" "How about a dragon fruit tattoo?"
What are steamed buns most afraid of? They're most afraid of beans, because beans kill the buns.
A walnut sat silently in front of its house. A neighbor saw it and asked, "What's wrong?" The walnut sighed and said, "My wife says I have a really thick skin!"
*Splash!* The meatball tumbled into the hot pot, splashing water everywhere. The mutton, its face pale, exclaimed, "Splashing people!" The meatball, bobbing up and down, retorted to the mutton, "You little rascal!" The hot pot, bubbling angrily, roared, "Get out of here!" The broth surged, filling the air with a fragrant aroma, and white smoke gently blurred my glasses.
Money, a rare metal, is volatile and produced in extremely low quantities. It's highly unstable in a wallet; placing it in Alipay can turn it into a package; it easily oxidizes when in contact with goods; sealed inside a credit card, if combined with a girlfriend, it can easily generate air and tears. When exposed to a catalyst like "Double Eleven," its ignition point lowers, causing it to rapidly emit light and heat, eventually burning, sublimating, and disappearing.
Women with oval faces get beauty sleep, while women with round faces can only take naps.
Forget it, even if someone like you plastered the word "nouveau riche" on their face, people would still read it from right to left.
Whenever you want to lose weight, there's always some jerk waving food in front of you, saying: "Have a bite, it won't make you fat..." Dozens of people in a hotel are counting down to the end of the year. "Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" "Happy New Year!!!" everyone cheers. ... "We've got data!" another voice comes from the corner.

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My wife says I have a thick skin.

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