Why do even good couples have extramarital affairs?

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Many people condemn extramarital affairs as "immoral," but most do so to appear virtuous. In reality, every woman harbors extramarital sexual thoughts at some point; the difference lies in whether she acts on them or not. The extramarital affair discussed here is a pure, unadulterated enjoyment of body and soul, a feeling cleansed by water and caressed by a gentle breeze. Why do couples, even those with loving marriages, sweet relationships, no major conflicts, and no inclination towards divorce, still engage in extramarital affairs, and even to such an extreme degree? The reasons are twofold:

First, desire. Humans cannot suppress the desire for novelty and excitement. In a sense, the pursuit of novelty is the driving force behind the development of the world; the desire for even more novelty arises, allowing humanity to progress. Even the best couples cannot achieve complete sexual harmony. Even with harmony, repetitive actions eventually become mechanical, as familiar as one's own hands. Sex itself is an exploration of unfamiliar territory by the nervous system; the more mysterious and novel it is, the more exciting it becomes. This nature does not change because of a happy marriage. Therefore, don't be surprised when you hear about one spouse having an extramarital affair in a seemingly good couple. This desire is innate; those who haven't had affairs haven't done so because they lack the means, not because they don't want to. Once they have the means, it becomes inevitable.

Secondly, there are the conditions. Changes in social status or economic power pave the way for extramarital affairs. With power and wealth as conditions, it's difficult not to have an affair; this is a major characteristic of extramarital affairs today. Men, because of their success and rapid advancement in their careers, have many opportunities for extramarital affairs, such as having ambiguous relationships with their subordinates, female secretaries, or female staff. The world is already full of temptations, so when you have power, people will offer "goods" to you; who can resist? This temptation cannot be resisted by a happy marriage, and the same applies to women. When they have such conditions, it's easy for them to do so; this is a power-related extramarital affair. Some men, after becoming wealthy through business, develop lustful desires. With abundant wealth, their thinking changes, and the biggest characteristic of this change is hedonism, and the biggest orientation of hedonism is sexual pleasure. There's a saying in behavioral science: what you can't get here and now, you want to get there and then, so you try to "compensate."

Thirdly, there's the desire for fulfillment. Even the most perfect marriage has its flaws, especially for men, who are prone to using extramarital sex to "compensate" for unmet needs. As for women, some women with high libido, women who have recently lost parents, women whose friends or parents have had affairs, and women whose spouses are often separated, also tend to use extramarital sex to comfort themselves and compensate for psychological and physiological deficiencies and needs. Moreover, human emotions are multifaceted; besides marital love, there's familial love (parents, siblings, children, etc.), friendships with classmates, colleagues, and friends, and of course, romantic relationships with the opposite sex. Extramarital affairs sometimes involve no sexual intercourse, but rather a tacit understanding between men and women that transcends ordinary friendship, stemming from mutual admiration, care, and concern—this is an expansion of "emotion." Even if spouses share similar interests, they cannot be completely aligned; they will always find others of the opposite sex with whom they share more common interests, naturally leading to closer relationships—this is the sharing of "interest." Human beauty is multifaceted—appearance, temperament, personality, knowledge, and so on. No single spouse possesses all beauty; this mutual attraction, over time, inevitably develops into affection—this is the attraction of "beauty." All these expansions, sharing, and attraction serve to compensate for marital discord and form the basis for extramarital sex.

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Why do even good couples have extramarital affairs?

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