My wife and I's love story over the past ten years

page views:1 Publication date:2010-09-06

Let me preface this by saying that this is purely my personal, true memory. Although I've written about some of my bad behavior and how I hurt my wife, I hope everyone will respect the truth and support originality. A prodigal son's return is priceless. Before you want to criticize me, or before you think you're being righteous, please think it over. If everyone is going to throw bricks at me, I won't write anymore.
My wife and I were high school classmates. Originally, I lived in another city, but due to family circumstances, I transferred to my wife's city during my senior year. At that time, my father, who was in business, sent me to the best school in the province. More than ten years ago, our classroom already had a TV. Because it was senior year, the academic pressure in the class was extremely high. Everyone worked together to get into university. I felt that the class was very united; everyone was like family, and we treated each other very well. Our only joy at that time was watching TV after dinner, around 6 or 7 pm. My wife sat in the first row right next to the TV, while I sat in the last row. She always felt that watching TV from the first row was bad for her eyes and liked to move to the back. As for me, I felt that watching TV from the back... I didn't notice her at the time; it was truly unconscious. I always liked to sit in her seat because I thought it was particularly clean and tidy, and her notes were so neat. I was a freshman then, and everyone was very kind to me, but my wife and I weren't really that close. However, she didn't mind me sitting in her seat. Later, when I was bored while watching TV, I would often take her pen and scribble on her scrap paper, without any particular purpose, maybe just to practice my handwriting. Then one day, when I sat in her seat, I found a piece of white paper on the table with the words "Please do not scribble on other people's papers" written on it. That's when I realized that I had been sitting in her seat every day, writing something each time, and she had gotten annoyed, so I wrote "Okay" on it.
After that, I noticed how neat my wife's notes were. So, when I was distracted in class and didn't take good notes, I started borrowing hers. She had a great personality and a good temper, and was considered the most popular person in the class. Although we weren't familiar with each other and she didn't have a good impression of me, she still lent me hers. I'm the kind of person who isn't a diligent student, but I have study skills. I spend more time playing than studying, but I'm always in the top 3 in my class. I look very honest, even a bit silly, but most people who get to know me well admire my intelligence. Because of the college entrance exam, there were always exams, and I always ranked among the top students. My homeroom teacher was very happy with this top student and often praised me because I could improve her college entrance rate. This made my classmates start to notice me, including her. Later, I started borrowing her electronic dictionary. I didn't have one at the time, but she did. I don't like using dictionaries, so I borrowed hers. Although we occasionally exchanged a few words, we weren't really close.
So, amidst the intense studying and occasional entertainment, I finished my first semester. I only truly got to know my wife after the New Year. At that time, I thought I was no longer a freshman and got along very well with my classmates. For some reason, my wife wasn't actually my type. She seemed very quiet and ladylike, and I wasn't her type either; she liked handsome guys. But back then, whenever I borrowed or returned something from her, I always liked to touch her face, pinch it gently—so smooth and soft. It wasn't lust at the time; I was probably just curious. Her skin was so good; what would it feel like to touch it? Back then... There was no lust involved; it was just a quick touch, and everything was normal afterward. My wife didn't seem to care about my actions either, because everyone was focused on the college entrance exam and under a lot of pressure. An occasional gesture didn't mean anything, so she didn't pay much attention. Later, it became a habit; I would touch her face whenever I saw her. She started to dislike it, and when she saw me, she would lie on the table or avoid me. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but when I saw her lying on the table, I actually went over and patted her. When she looked up, I would touch her face and run away. It felt like a habit; I felt uncomfortable if I didn't touch her face for a day. Although I didn't have any feelings for her at the time and had no intention of dating, I just loved touching her face.
About a week before May Day, she passed me a note with a heart drawn on it, a smile on it, and her name written on it. I didn't understand at the time; I was very curious. I thought my wife had fallen for me and was confessing her feelings? So that night, I started calling her. Since we were both living at school, we were under a lot of pressure, so talking on the phone was a relaxing experience. That night, my wife and I talked a lot—the first time we'd ever talked so much. She started to feel comfortable with me because, despite my seemingly dull appearance, I'm actually quite humorous. My wife probably laughed all night, enjoying chatting with me. The next day, I ran out of phone credit, or rather, I was out of money. I wanted to call home and ask them to send me money, so I borrowed her phone credit. After calling my mother, I started calling her. She also enjoyed chatting with me. It wasn't until the fifth day that I realized something: the heart-shaped note she gave me that day wasn't a confession of love. Thinking about it, who would have a crush on me with my looks? She didn't know why, but she had a habit. Because I sat in the last row, and there was a watch behind me, she always liked to turn around and check the time. And when she checked the time, she would always glance at me. After we got married, my wife told me that she really didn't have any feelings for me at the time, but she didn't know why she always liked to glance at me. The reason she gave me the note that day was because she saw that I looked very sad and thought I had been hurt. The heart and smiley face were meant to cheer me up, but I didn't understand at the time. On the fifth day, when we talked on the phone, I kept asking her if she liked me. As a result, she was completely attracted by my words and thoughts after talking to me on the phone for five days. She said she liked me. As soon as she said those words, her life changed... her whole world changed.
At that time, I felt that we were dating after that one sentence. We often walked or strolled together after meals or during PE class. I always wanted to find an opportunity to hug her or hold her hand, but I never had the chance. However, one time my wife saw that my clothes were too dirty and asked me to go back to the dormitory to take them off for her. She washed them for me. I also washed my wife's clothes before. She couldn't wash her winter coat, so I offered to wash it for her. One time during PE class, I said I would take her to play. We ran to the woods outside the school and said I would take her to play. As soon as we went in, I hugged her and put my hands behind her back. It was autumn and we were both wearing coats, but I went straight through her shirt and touched her back. I felt that her skin was so smooth. I also touched the back of her bra strap, which I had never touched before. I thought it was very interesting. My wife was very innocent at the time and asked me, "Are your hands cold?" I just said "uh" and then I said I wanted to kiss her. She said she didn't know how. I said I didn't know how either. Then we kissed. She really didn't know how to kiss at the time. She didn't even move her mouth. That's how she gave me her first kiss.
Let me recall the first time I touched her breasts. It was during the May Day holiday. Everyone else had gone home, but I asked her to stay at school with me. We didn't go home; we both told our families we were studying. A few classmates were still there. At lunchtime, everyone said they were going to eat, but she called me to eat. I said I'd wait and pretend to study. After the other classmates left, I asked her to come over. She came. She wasn't wearing much for May Day; she was only wearing a long-sleeved white shirt. I could see her white bra underneath. I said, "Excuse me," and reached behind her shirt. After finding her bra, I quickly unhooked it. Then she gasped. At the same time as she gasped, my hand was already on her breast. I don't know if her gasp was because she was unhooking... The sound came from opening her bra, or from touching her breasts. I don't know what I was thinking, but I actually apologized several times, then took my hands away and went to eat. We didn't say anything during that time. That evening, I asked her to come out. She seemed to know what I was going to do. We went to an empty hallway, and I kissed her. She didn't object, and she didn't object to touching her breasts either. Maybe she felt... That night, I finally experienced true intimacy, physical contact, including putting my hand inside her pants. She was very wet. My wife was very introverted at the time; she only let me touch her breasts, rarely allowing me to touch her genitals. Usually, we just held hands.
Later, after graduating from high school, we both wanted to apply to the same university, but because of our parents' connections, we went to different universities in different cities. The train journey between the two cities took 14 hours. I truly witnessed the development of China's railways. In my freshman year, the train journey took 17 hours; by my senior year, it was only 6 hours.
After graduation, we didn't spend much time together. Although I had finished the college entrance exam, my family still wouldn't let me go out too often. As a student, I thought every day about how to be intimate with my wife alone, but I really couldn't think of anywhere to go. Going to her house was inconvenient, and I didn't dare go to my house. Later, I even thought of going to the movie theater. I spent 50 yuan to buy a private movie box. We didn't watch anything inside, just got intimate, but it was all kissing, touching her neck, and touching her breasts—nothing more. My wife had said she would give herself to me after we got married, and if I truly loved her, I should wait for her. I didn't go too far then, because maybe I really did love her.
Looking back now, what I felt then wasn't love. True love is the reluctance to part when you face choices after graduation, or when you have to break up and go your separate ways.
Later, we went to university in different cities. We kept in touch by phone for a few months, expressing our longing for each other, but then we stopped contacting each other. Here, I want to objectively tell everyone that the reason was my fault. My wife's feelings for me didn't change, but I did. At the time, I was probably a bit chauvinistic. I thought my wife was great, but I couldn't stay with one person forever. I wanted to experience other people. In addition, I was very active in university, and my talents and abilities were fully utilized. I was quite famous in university circles, and many girls pursued me. However, none of them wrote me love letters or anything directly. They would ask me out by phone or lean on me when we were together, giving me hints that they liked me. At the time, I was a very righteous person, and I resolutely refused to touch them because I couldn't give them a future. How could I have been so stupid back then? I was pretending to be noble, but at the same time, my confidence was inflated to an unprecedented level. Plus, I was young and thought I could find a better wife. Later, my wife realized what I meant because I was distancing myself from her. She called me directly and said, "If you want to break up, then break up. Don't torture me anymore." I said, "Okay, let's break up."
Actually, after the breakup, I had a few girls I liked. Every night, girls would accompany me for walks downstairs. But I didn't really feel heartbroken at the time. However, I felt uncomfortable talking and chatting with each of them. I always compared them to my wife. I felt that although this girl was pretty, she had a bad personality, or that girl was so selfish. After comparing them, I felt that my wife was still the best. Around November at the end of my second semester of freshman year, I finally couldn't suppress my thoughts. I still felt that my wife was the best. I took the 3,000 yuan I had earned at school, along with my longing and a bunch of apologies, and took a 17-hour train ride to my wife's school. We hadn't been in contact for 5 months. At that time, all I knew about my wife was that she was in English. On the train, I kept thinking, what if my wife had someone else or a boyfriend? As luck would have it, I was wearing a suit and looked quite handsome. Many people at their school stared at me; perhaps there weren't many people wearing suits on campus back then. Such coincidences really do happen. If you don't believe in fate, I'll tell you, I do. I was about to ask someone around for directions to the English department, and then—just as I was about to ask the person next to me, after saying "English department," I suddenly realized the girl next to her looked so familiar. Ah, my wife? That was my wife, wearing a pink dress, her hair cut short. We recognized each other almost simultaneously. At first, she seemed surprised, then her expression turned sour, and she turned and walked back. I chased after her, and the girl next to her seemed to realize something and said, "So-and-so, I'm leaving now." Finally, I caught up with her. The first thing she asked me wasn't the "How dare you show your face here?" I expected, but rather, "Have you eaten? Are you hungry?" My eyes were brimming with tears. Later, we went to the cafeteria, and she used her meal card to buy me some food. She just watched me eat, her expression indifferent, and she didn't seem to want to talk to me, even though I kept trying to make conversation. It seemed like she just felt... well, not really a friend, but she felt like we weren't lovers anymore. But since I'd come all this way, she felt bad about kicking me out. There was no sign of reconciliation. Then, after dinner, I asked her where we were going, saying I wanted to talk to her alone. Looking at my expectant eyes, she coldly said, "Come on, come with me," and then took me to a coffee shop near the cafeteria, a place specifically for university students. Then we ordered a few things and began my moment of confession. The first thing I said when I entered the room was, "I missed you." The second thing I said was, "Do you have a boyfriend?" My wife didn't answer. She asked me what I was doing there. I said I wanted to get back together with her. Then she asked me why I broke up with her in the first place, and then I... honestly confessed. As the saying goes, "Confess and you'll be treated leniently; resist and you'll be punished severely." She probably liked me because she thought I was honest and reliable. After I sincerely talked for a long time, she didn't give me a straight answer. Until it got dark, she said, "Let's go, let's go have dinner." Later, at their... She found me a small hotel near the school, and then she went back to her dorm. I begged her not to leave, but she ignored me and said she would think about it and give me an answer tomorrow. Around 9 o'clock, she came back and said she would stay with me for a while because the school was checking dorms that night and she couldn't not go back. This meant she accepted my confession. At that moment, I was lustful, and instead of hugging her or anything, the first thing I did after locking the door was to take off her clothes. She didn't react at first, and then I pushed up her bra and started sucking her breasts. She couldn't resist me, so she gave in. Then I was intimate with her for a long time that night, almost 10 minutes. At 1:30, she went back to her dorm because it closes at 11. Before leaving, she told me that she'd wanted to go to that coffee shop we'd taken today for a long time. Every time she passed by and saw others go in, she'd fantasize about how wonderful it would be if we were still together, and she could let me take her there. I cried that night…
For the next few days, we were affectionate every day, but never actually did anything, just kissing and touching. She raised a question: "Agreeing to get back together won't solve anything. I'm still not by your side. There are still girls around you. There are still three years left. Can you hold on? Even if you do, can we work together after graduation?" She asked a lot of questions, and I sincerely made some unrealistic promises, saying this wouldn't be a problem, that wouldn't be a problem. But less than six months later, I hurt her again.
Less than six months after we got back together, I hurt her again, this time deeply. I did something that almost drove her crazy, and even now, after so many years of marriage, I still can't completely let it go!
Back then, my advisor, who was practically my class advisor, and I got together. Teacher-student relationships weren't accepted by everyone back then, unlike how open it is now. I want to focus on introducing my advisor here, and to be truthful and objective, I hope you'll believe me. The first time I saw her was when I enrolled; she was handling my registration. I thought she was a student, and I thought university was great—so many beautiful girls! Then, on the first day of school, before military training, she appeared at the class meeting and told us she was our advisor, a graduate student, and then gave us some important information. It was September then. She was about 170cm tall, with incredibly long legs, and very slim, like Xu Jinglei—she really looked like her. She had long, flowing hair, and in the summer, she was wearing white pants, which made her legs look even longer. Her clothes were a bit see-through; in summer, you can see your underwear to some extent, and I saw that she was wearing white underneath. As soon as she appeared… The students went wild, all saying she was beautiful, and some even talked about promiscuity. For a while afterward, the most talked-about person among the students was our counselor. Many people had a crush on her. During military training, everyone rushed to get close to her, and even the girls praised her beauty. But everyone was just admiring her, because after all, she was his wife. I'm a rather dull person, and on the surface, I don't know how, but later I became close to her. She really liked talking to me, saying I was humorous and thoughtful. So, I often went to her office after class, just chatting without thinking about anything else. Occasionally, she would buy me breakfast in the morning, often buying two meals and waiting for me to eat. Many classmates envied me, saying I had a good relationship with the counselor, and some were jealous and talked badly about me behind my back. I went to see the counselor because my girlfriend wasn't around, and I was bored at school. I thought the counselor was beautiful. Isn't there a saying...? Time seems to drag on if you're with an older woman, but it flies by if she's a beautiful woman. My advisor knew I had a girlfriend, and she had a boyfriend too, saying they'd get married in a year. We talked about everything, but it was all just friendship. Gradually, the teacher-student relationship faded, and I stopped seeing her as a teacher; we were just friends. Her family was wealthy and well-off; otherwise, they wouldn't have been able to arrange a university teaching position for her. She always had the best of everything, and she was spoiled from a young age, but she wasn't a bad person. There's a saying: "Boys should be raised frugally, or they'll squander the family fortune; girls should be raised lavishly, so they won't be easily fooled." She was definitely raised lavishly. From a young age, she learned piano, music, dance, and singing very well. Back then, she only had a little over 1000 yuan a month in pocket money, not counting her own salary. She had a cell phone and loved buying clothes and cosmetics. We chatted a lot, and later we talked about everything. Although we were friends, we never talked about sex, since she was a teacher, and neither of us dared to. I was afraid she would get angry; a beautiful woman's temper can be deadly. At first, we talked about our childhood and university, and later about our relationships. I told her about my wife and me, and she told me about her university experiences, the people who pursued her, and her understanding of love, marriage, and work. We probably felt like confidantes. Objectively speaking, my current outlook on life and love has been influenced by her to some extent. In the first semester of our sophomore year, after more than a year of communication, our relationship was very good. She loved shopping. At that time, she was going through a breakup with her boyfriend and didn't like... I loved shopping. The other girls at school were jealous of her beauty and money, and sometimes they didn't like taking her shopping. At that time, I was unfamiliar with the city, and she was a local, so she sometimes took me shopping. To thank me for paying for her meals, she usually treated me to food. Having a beautiful woman with you, plus meals paid for, and she always paid for everything—the reason was simple: I was a poor student, and she was a little rich. I even used to go to her place for breakfast. Although I always felt uneasy about paying the bill after we went out, she understood and always insisted on paying. The closest I ever had with her was when we were shopping together one time, and I accidentally flicked my hand, hitting her face. It felt so soft and smooth. For our relationship at that time, that touch excited me for a long time. Another time, it made me fantasize about her for the first time. The story is... So, once we were shopping, in a mall, but for some reason, the store didn't have a changing room. The saleswoman said it was okay, her boyfriend could hold up the curtain for her. I grinned, secretly pleased, and looked at her. She gave me a reassuring look, but then said something like a teacher to a student: "Don't look, turn your head away." So I did it. I'm an honest kid, a dutiful student, I listen to my teacher. Later, when she came back from changing, I accidentally—really accidentally—saw her entire front in her bra. My penis immediately got hard, painfully so. Later, when we were shopping together again, I couldn't say anything. I was in so much pain that day, couldn't sleep, and the scene kept replaying in my mind. I masturbated that night, fantasizing about her masturbating. The real, substantial change between us happened during my sophomore year, around May Day, just a few months after I reconciled with my wife. This matter involves my wife, but also myself; it might be because things have progressed to that point.
During the May Day holiday, I told my wife we should go on a trip, but she said no, she wanted to go home because her mother missed her. No matter what I said, she wouldn't listen. I had already asked my family for leave, so I stayed in the dorm alone. The next day, my advisor called to ask if I had gone home. I said no, and she asked me to have lunch with her, which I did. She treated me. Then, near the cafeteria, we saw an organized tour to Huangshan. I asked her if she wanted to go, and she said yes, we'd split the bill. So we booked the tour and left that evening. Actually, I didn't bring anything, but she brought a lot of food—she loves snacks—and a lot of clothes, which I carried for her. The tour group probably wanted to save money, so they used a bus to take us. The whole atmosphere changed as soon as we boarded the bus. Outside, I was still calling her "Advisor," but once on the bus, everything changed. That's when we realized the cafeteria we were eating at wasn't our school's, but the one at the neighboring school. The bus was full of couples, all very affectionate, and nobody recognized us; everyone assumed we were a couple too. We ended up sitting in two seats. At first, she kept asking if I was thirsty or offering me snacks. I felt so happy, even though I knew deep down she was a teacher, and I was worried something might happen. Then she fell asleep, resting her head on my shoulder. I understand she didn't do it on purpose; it's just that people naturally want someone to sleep with for comfort. She felt comfortable, but I couldn't sleep. Teacher, how does it feel to have your head on my shoulder? We arrived at Huangshan around noon, and everyone quickly got off the bus to prepare for the climb. The tour guide suggested climbing at night to see the sunrise during the day, but we assumed the travel company was trying to save on accommodation costs. So, without resting, we started climbing. Since everyone was a couple, they all walked in pairs. We walked together, and of course, I carried the backpack, but she had poor night vision and couldn't see clearly at night, so we soon fell behind. I offered to hold her arm, and she agreed. Because of our teacher-student relationship, I felt a little awkward, so I took her elbow and led her. We did walk faster, but my arm soon got sore from holding myself, and my hand naturally slipped down to her forearm. Then, we held hands. My heart was pounding. This was unimaginable in my previous life. How could I imagine holding hands with my teacher? I was terrified, afraid she would be angry. But one gesture from her dispelled my worries: she gently squeezed my hand back. I interpreted it as her approval. And then, thinking about it, it all became more complicated. I started daydreaming as I walked! Later, during a rest stop, something else emboldened me. We had prepared two bottles of mineral water, but she only opened one and gave it to me to drink. After I finished, she took another sip before leaving… I was very focused on this detail. For the rest of the walk, I kept daydreaming. I even touched her face while she was wiping my sweat. Her expression was natural; she didn't say anything or react. It felt like we were very familiar, or like I had touched her before. She wiped my sweat because my load was heavy. Later we… We reached the summit around 4 AM, an hour before sunrise. Anyone who's ever climbed a mountain knows how cold it is up there; everyone else was renting coats. I saw some tents for rent and suggested we rent one, saying I was tired and wanted to lie down for a bit. She agreed, and we went inside. We started by chatting about everything, but I intentionally touched her hand while we were talking, and she didn't object. At that moment, I forgot everything else; it was just impulse. I pushed her down, started groping her, touched her breasts, unhooked her bra, and then I kissed her. We kissed again, and then… what you and I expected didn't happen! An unexpected event occurred…
Because I had been traveling all day and hiking, I was completely exhausted and practically had nothing left. When I tried to penetrate her, my penis was limp, even though I was very aroused. I was getting impatient, but she knew my condition and said to give up. I refused, but I couldn't refuse because my penis just wouldn't respond. At the time, I didn't know anything about oral sex; I was just a student. I was very anxious. She said there would be other opportunities later, but I said you wouldn't let me go back to school. She said she would find an opportunity for me and would definitely satisfy me. I said no, but there was nothing I could do. So we stayed inside, kissing and hugging for more than two hours. When we came out, the sun was high in the sky; we had missed the sunrise. For the next two days, we acted like a couple, since no one knew us. Then, the night before I went back to school, she gave me a lesson, making many demands. She told me not to tell anyone about her, not to be ambiguous with her in front of others, and so on. I agreed to everything, on the condition that she would come to a hotel with me and satisfy me once when it was convenient for her.
I originally planned to write something casually, but it kept getting longer and longer. I'll post it first and see what everyone thinks. If people like it, I'll continue posting.

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My wife and I's love story over the past ten years

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