I deeply love my wife, yet she betrayed me.

page views:1 Publication date:2012-01-19

It's the weekend, and it's already broad daylight, but my wife still hasn't come home. I'm usually an early riser; I'd be out exercising and getting milk by now. But today I didn't get out of bed. To be precise, I was afraid to get up. I don't know how to face my second sister. Even though society is very open these days, and my wife has been with countless men, before last night, she was the only woman I knew. It's not that I'm not good-looking; she was initially attracted to me because of my appearance. I know my weakness: I don't know how to interact with others, especially women. If I hadn't lost control of my emotions yesterday, probably nothing would have happened. If only none of this had happened...
Actually, when I was little, because of my appearance, people always thought I was a little girl. Until I was five, my mother always dressed me like a girl, which made me feel very humiliated. So, during puberty, I deliberately acted more rebellious than other boys. But I gradually found that my deliberate attempts to appear masculine didn't earn me the respect of my classmates. On the contrary, many boys who developed early liked to play with me, sometimes gently rubbing (or stroking) my hand. Given the social environment at the time, touching a real girl inappropriately would have caused a huge scandal. {Actually, I'm not effeminate at all. Even now, seeing some grown men online who act neither male nor female and call themselves "cross-dressers" still makes me feel disgusted.} Later, two of my good friends had a fierce conflict, and one of them was eventually expelled from school. It wasn't until my homeroom teacher investigated the reason that I... I was surprised to learn that I was playing the role of someone's girlfriend. This was also the first time I had ever heard the word "homosexual." After this happened, I became the laughingstock of everyone. Girls avoided me, and even boys avoided me like the plague, fearing being called "homosexual." In the end, I was forced to transfer schools, taking two buses every day to go to a school 12 kilometers away from home. The teachers wanted me to live on campus, but I was afraid to. I didn't want people to pull down my pants to verify my identity in the dormitory. I shut myself off and became quiet. I longed to have a face like Ken Takakura, but fate played a cruel trick on me. My secondary sexual characteristics were not obvious. To this day, my Adam's apple is almost invisible unless you touch it. But I am a normally developing man, and I even have strong needs. However, my long-term self-isolation has left me with no friends. In a way, I envy my wife. She can actively get everything she wants, including me.
My parents were always proud of their son's handsome face when they were alive. Little did they know that this was the source of all my misfortunes. Unexplained exclusion, unwarranted attacks, and finally, when I met a mentor who seemed to understand and value me, I discovered over time that he was a bit abnormal. I remember when I met my in-laws after we were officially together, my mother-in-law was very happy, but my father-in-law had a long face and was firmly opposed. After half a year of effort, I finally won him over. He said helplessly, "It's not that I'm being paranoid, I'm just afraid that you'll be unfaithful and take advantage of my daughter in the future." 'Actually, it's the opposite. When I was with my wife, I was still a virgin, while she was already a seasoned prostitute.
' 'Dinner' came from outside the door. She's actually much younger than me, but I just called her that because my wife does. But this time, I felt a surge of fear. I mustered my courage and went out, finding my sister busy in the kitchen. Seeing me, she called out, 'Come and taste it to see if it's seasoned.' I'm not very good at cooking. I went into the kitchen, and my blood began to boil. Although my sister was wearing an apron, her nightgown underneath was almost transparent.
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