And her unbelievable ten-year romance

page views:1 Publication date:2012-12-16

I've kept this in my heart for a long time, and it's been quite depressing.
These past few days, I stumbled upon this place and, seeing everyone's posts and photos, I finally felt relieved
. I just treated it as a story, though it's a story spanning over ten years—a bit long.
To be precise, she was my first love, my first woman.
We were both only 19 that year, truly the prime of our lives.
We met online; we were probably among the earliest online lovers.
But back then, even online relationships were incredibly subtle. I was still in university then, and I would often talk to her on the phone for hours in my dorm, but we never talked about anything romantic, and there was absolutely no flirtation. Until one day, she called me crying. Something had happened to her family; she was stranded far from home. In fact, I hadn't been able to contact her for months. She said she'd been scammed, her stepfather and mother had been arguing for a long time, and she was too afraid to go home.
I immediately asked if she needed money, and offered to send her some.
She said she had a little left, just enough for a train ticket. She asked if I could come to her place and help her.
I hesitated for a moment, then instantly made up my mind.
Although I only had two or three hundred yuan for living expenses each month back then, and sometimes I could go out with classmates for half a month and then have to eat instant noodles for the other half, I suddenly felt a sense of responsibility when I thought about her situation.
I knew we liked each other, but I never expected to meet so suddenly. Back then, there was no video chat, and we hadn't even seen each other's photos.
I wonder if anyone can understand that feeling now. At the time, I felt that I liked the person, not the appearance.
But when she arrived, what surprised me wasn't that she was ugly, but that she was so beautiful that I couldn't believe it.
She was a petite woman with smooth, jade-like skin and smiling eyes. Her eyes were slightly upturned, and her lips were red and her teeth were white, adding to her charm. She
was captivating whether she was laughing heartily or lost in thought. What was even more remarkable was that she had beautiful writing skills and beautiful handwriting.
I felt like I was dreaming.
I rented an apartment for her in advance, picked her up from the station, and pretended to be calm as I took her to her apartment, shyly saying, "You should rest, I'm going back to my dorm."
What I didn't expect was that she hugged me tightly.
Everything that was going to happen, happened.
We were both impulsive, and because it was our first time, we were both clumsy, hurting each other badly.
Yet, that feeling is something I'll never forget.
I remember those days she was like a kitten, curled up on the warm, sunlit bed every day.
Our legs were weak from making love, and when we went downstairs to buy food, she couldn't walk and asked me to carry her. I carried her from the fourth floor to the third, and my legs almost gave way and I collapsed. We sat on the floor laughing so hard we couldn't stand up.
Young men and women at that age are easily moved to genuine feelings, and so they loved each other passionately.
You can probably guess that this didn't end well.
From childhood conflicts to arguments, she was an extremely willful and emotional woman. And I was someone who refused to back down.
One day, she said, "Go back to your dorm, I'll wait for you to graduate before we get together."
I silently packed my things.
She said, "Don't you have anything to say?"
I slung my bag over my shoulder and left.
The deeper the love, the easier it is to be hurt.
Months later, I couldn't resist visiting her. I bought her favorite strawberries. As I approached the door, about to knock, I heard another man's whispers and her soft laughter.
I calmly knocked. She opened the door; the man was sitting on the bed. She froze, then desperately tried to push me out and close the door.
I pushed her away, grabbed a thermos, and smashed it over the man's head. I turned and left.
All the happy memories, all the hopes for us to be together after graduation, shattered instantly.
I got very drunk that day. That night, I staggered back to that room, perhaps hoping to see her alone there and have a proper talk.
She opened the door, said nothing, and stood behind it. The man was still there, but with a bandage on his head. He told me, "I like her. I didn't know she used to be your girlfriend. She wouldn't let me touch her. Nothing has happened between us."
This was something I never expected. I was sometimes lucid, sometimes confused, watching them wander around in front of me. I collapsed to the ground.
I woke up in the middle of the night to find three people sleeping in the same bed. She was curled up in my arms. The man was right next to me, already asleep.
The moment I opened my eyes, she woke up and looked up at me. Before I could speak, her lips were on mine. We kissed passionately, completely oblivious to the person beside us. In an instant, I was hard. I touched her; she was soaking wet. I trembled as I entered her, initially gentle, but soon I couldn't resist. Fueled by the lingering effects of the alcohol, I made love wildly. She started with soft moans, then couldn't help but cry out unrestrainedly. We were both lost in the moment.
As we calmed down, I noticed the astonished yet unbearable expression on the man's face.
I suddenly felt a surge of revenge, unsure who I was taking revenge on—myself or her. With a challenging tone, I asked, "Do you want to sleep with her?"
He looked at me with glazed eyes, seemingly unable to believe my words. He groped his way over.
She glared at him, then looked at me, as if trying to understand what was going on. "
Let's get together," I said.
She wanted to say something, but didn't resist much.
I gently hugged her shoulders from behind, caressing her soft, white breasts, while the man slowly moved his hand up her legs...
She was initially reluctant, but later became excited. We took turns with her until morning.
However, this might have been too much.
In the morning, it was instantly awkward.
The man quietly left.
She remained silent, not speaking to me. So I went back to my dorm. I didn't go looking for her again.
The next day, the man came to the school to find me, saying she was missing.
I said, "She just left."
Suddenly, I felt very uneasy, but there was nothing I could do.
I still rented that room.
For three whole years after graduation, I waited for her in that city,
hoping she would appear one day.
But she never did, and she never logged onto QQ.
I kept thinking she had just left and didn't want to see me again. But deep down, I was always worried about her safety.
I hope you are still alive and well.
At least when I look up at the sun, I know it can also shine on your face.
So much time has passed.
I wandered from city to city, heartbroken.
A few years later, I arrived in my current city. I got married.
One day in 2009, while I was at work, she appeared on QQ and messaged me.
I couldn't believe my eyes, asking her name over and over again.
After confirming, I asked where she was. She said she was in Singapore and already married.
I sincerely wished her well and apologized.
She said she only dared to contact me now because she was sure she was happy; otherwise, she was afraid I would look down on her.
I told her not to talk about those things anymore; we were both wrong, and mine was especially big. We were too young then. As long as you're doing well, I'm at ease.
We kept in touch casually on QQ, like long-lost friends reunited, sharing our joys and sorrows. But we never mentioned the past again.
Until last year, she reappeared before me.
She went home to visit family and stopped by to see me.
And then, so many things happened.
Now, I suddenly can't continue;
I need to calm down...
To be continued...

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