Real feelings

page views:2 Publication date:2013-11-03

It's late, and everyone in the family is asleep. My wife, in particular, goes to bed early every day. She's probably dreaming right now. But I can't sleep. This
is the only time I have left.
Actually, I shouldn't be writing anything here. I only graduated from vocational school, and I wasn't a good student, so my writing skills are very average. No house, no car, no good looks, not a good job, and no success stories—I'm a complete loser.
I'm from Jinghai, Tianjin. Although I work in a factory every day, I'm still considered a farmer. I have some land, not much, mostly farmed by my parents. I was born in 1983, and my wife is two years younger than me. Like most people around me, we were introduced by a mutual acquaintance. We met, got engaged, and got married. We had met a few men before we met, but we never really dated before getting married. My wife is from Cangzhou, Hebei. Although it's not far, it's not really that far. She's of average appearance, but I think she's quite nice. She's 168cm tall and weighs less than 100 pounds. She has a good figure. We've been married for almost 8 years and have two daughters, the older one is 7 and in elementary school, and the younger one is less than a week old and very cute. Haha,
I discovered 69 Paradise by chance the day before yesterday. Although I know my wife won't understand, I do, and I hope to be an observer. Watching you guys will excite me too, haha.
I'm a very honest person, which is naive in today's society. Before marriage, all I knew was masturbation. In my eyes, women were sacred and inviolable. Damn! Looking back now, I was such an idiot. My wife and I were each other's first time. Although she didn't bleed, I knew it was her first time too. I tried before marriage, but she was very disgusted, so I didn't violate her again. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
After marriage, I discovered that my wife is sexually frigid. She goes to bed early every day, and unless something special happens, she's usually asleep before 8 pm. She's not interested in sex and thinks it's optional. But I couldn't. For the first two years of our marriage, I wanted to have sex every single day, not just once. Every time I woke her up and said I wanted to make love, she would impatiently say she was tired and fell asleep without even opening her eyes.
How could I sleep? I would touch her, but she wouldn't wake up—she really wouldn't wake up, she wasn't pretending. I touched her and found that her genitals were wet, very wet. I stripped her naked, and I did the same to her, and then I penetrated her. She still wouldn't wake up, so I just kept going. As I went on, although she didn't wake up, she did react, making soft sounds, her cheeks turning red, and slowly her body turning red too. I held her, feeling her body burning hot. I knew she had orgasmed, but she still wouldn't wake up. Haha,
so I continued like that for a while, then ejaculated, then pulled out my penis, wiped it clean, and wiped her clean too. Seeing her satisfied look made me satisfied too. I fell asleep like that, sleeping very soundly...
The next morning, I was still asleep, probably because I was tired, when she woke me up and asked me very seriously, "Where are my clothes?" I really didn't know how to answer her. I didn't understand, and I still don't understand. Her body clearly wanted it, really wanted it, but she was very cold. (I promise she didn't have a lover.)
For a long time afterward, this was how I conducted my sex life. I would wait until she fell asleep at night, until she was sound asleep, before I would do it. It was like waiting for someone else, haha. I got used to having sex with her while she was asleep. Although we couldn't communicate, I could feel from her body that she wanted it, that she needed me...
This kind of sex went on for about a year, and slowly I started to hate it. (My child is crying. I'll continue writing when I have time.)

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