One of the stories with my wife: holding hands and embracing

page views:1 Publication date:2015-09-02

A light drizzle fell on the awning outside the window, the raindrops pattering softly. Lately, I've been feeling emotionally uneasy, but there seems to be no other way but to accept it. There are too many contradictions between ideals and reality; life and emotions are always turbulent. Whether it was my intention or not, we've lived together for over a decade; how can we so easily draw a clear line between joy and sorrow?
My wife and I met by chance in the autumn of 2002. I remember a friend saying he'd introduce me to a girlfriend, and I readily agreed to meet her. My wife is a shy and traditional girl; after much persuasion from my friend, she reluctantly agreed to meet him. That weekend, I had just returned from the National Day holiday to my training location, and after a long week of intensive study, I wanted to relax. We booked a teahouse, ordered a few cups of tea, sang a few songs in the private room, got to know each other a little, and then parted ways. The first time I met my wife, she was dressed very simply, in a Korean-style short skirt. She had darker skin, and I, of course, dressed rather old-fashionedly. Having worked for several years, I'd never considered dating because of my youth, so naturally, I didn't pay much attention to my attire in that setting.
I thought things would end there, with no further hope. Then the weekend came, and I tried calling her dorm. To my surprise, she readily agreed. I was excited, but unsure what to do next. We walked through the streets, chatting about everything under the sun. When it was time, we calmly returned to our dorm.
We went out together for over a month, meeting countless times, but nothing progressed; we didn't even hold hands. It might sound unbelievable to others, but it's true for me. From what I knew about her, I had a feeling that she was the girl I was meant to be, the kind I wouldn't take lightly. Love had blossomed within me, but I couldn't afford to be casual, so I was very cautious. Once, we came across a park with a tent advertising something thrilling. My wife and I were both curious to check it out; the 5 yuan tickets were cheap. Inside, the lighting was dim, and the atmosphere was eerie and heavy. Women are often timid, and while I wasn't exactly brave either, I managed to stand firm. In the middle of the tent, a coffin was placed there, emitting occasional sobbing sounds. My wife was too scared to look. Just as she turned to look to her right, a flying snake flashed past. She screamed in fright, turned back, and hugged me. After she calmed down, I took her hand and led her out of the tent. Strolling along the park paths, my wife reverted to her shyness, and we maintained our previous distance. That night, we didn't hold hands again.
Later, we met up more often. We'd have time to eat together, go shopping, and even go to internet cafes to watch movies—things that were popular then. To others, we looked like a couple, but my wife and I both knew we remained friends. Heaven always favors those who have a will. For some reason, my wife fell ill, quite seriously. At first, she managed, but then she developed a fever and became delirious. I took her to a small clinic nearby for an injection, staying with her the whole time, getting her water and taking care of her. My wife said she was very cold, so I covered her with a blanket, but she still shivered. I couldn't help but take her hands and rub them together to warm them. Her fever gradually subsided, and after the IV drip finished, she ate something and went back to her room. The doctor said she needed another IV drip the next day to consolidate the treatment, otherwise the fever would recur, and I urged her to have another one. She lay on the bed, and I sat beside her, chatting endlessly about everything under the sun. I kept massaging her hands, and slowly I sat on the edge of the bed, our shoulders touching, and we finally embraced for the first time.
Looking back now, I realize how foolish I was; perhaps I've never been good at seizing opportunities. After my wife recovered from her illness, we returned to our normal lives. Once, we passed a skating rink in a park. She watched couples holding hands and seemed a little envious. When we entered the rink, the owner said it was closing time and reluctantly pulled her away. Later, in late autumn, the nights were getting chilly. Walking along a forest path, she warmed her hands to her chest. I offered to take off my coat for her, but she said no. So I put my arm around her shoulder and walked her back to her dorm.
My wife and I spent a lot of time together then. Perhaps the time from holding hands to hugging wasn't long in the grand scheme of things, but considering we dated every day, our relationship wasn't progressing quickly. Holding hands was sporadic; maybe we were both shy and reserved, as it was our first time with someone of the opposite sex. My wife and I had been working for several years, but she remained indifferent to many suitors. I was lucky; she was never indifferent. Except for our first meeting, where a stranger acted as a matchmaker, we always went out on dates alone. My wife is very reserved, and I care a lot about it, but after a month, we've only progressed to the point of occasionally holding hands and hugging.

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One of the stories with my wife: holding hands and embracing

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