I don't understand your world.

page views:1 Publication date:2018-01-21

My writing isn't good, and I never imagined I'd write anything about this. But right now, I'm incredibly conflicted, and all I can do is sigh. I, a traditional and extremely conservative person, have deliberately tried to conform to your absurd way of thinking and understand your unbelievable ideas for the past few years because of my unwavering love for you. You've painstakingly (perhaps that's not the right word) spent three or four years trying to change my mind. You always say you're doing it for my own good, that you love me, but I'm actually terrified. Your ideas are so unconventional; you're constantly pushing my limits. Okay, finally, one day at the beginning of the new year, I agreed to your request. I don't know what prompted this decision—perhaps the pressure of life, or perhaps some long-suppressed desires… On that day, you arranged for me to meet another man besides you. To be honest, my only thought when I first saw him was to run away. He was tall, simply dressed, and smoked; my first impression of him was immediately ruined. Our plan was to have dinner first, then soak in the hot springs, and if everyone felt comfortable, we could continue... During this time, I think my opinion of this person changed somewhat. Actually, he's a pretty good person, well-mannered, and has his own principles. He's not the kind of person I initially thought I disliked. After that day, we chatted on and off on QQ. I didn't quite understand the rules of the game; you repeatedly told me not to worry too much, and I'd never hidden anything from you about our chat history. But then, about ten days later, you became inexplicably uneasy after seeing our chat history, and decisively changed my QQ password and blocked him. I repeatedly reviewed the chat history, and nothing was said! I'm completely baffled. Between what you told me before and your current actions, which should I believe? Through this incident, I don't know if I can still convince myself to continue following your line of thinking...

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I don't understand your world.

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