Part 7 ~ Summer Vacation Memories 5

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The time we spent together passed so quickly.
Her training was about to end.
I didn't know what our relationship was. Lovers? I was 22, a college student, my future uncertain. She was 31, with a family and a good, stable job.
Sometimes, I saw her as my woman. Other times, it felt unrealistic.
That night, I bought groceries and brought them up for dinner. Perhaps we were both feeling melancholic because of the approaching separation.
She nestled against me, like a little woman: "I have a question for you, answer me honestly!"
"Go ahead!"
"Do you love me?" "
Yes! "
"Why do you never say it?"
"...I don't know how to say it, I'm afraid I'll hurt myself!"
At that moment, tears welled up in her eyes.
My heart ached.
I wished I could turn back time, back to before her wedding.
But all of this was just a fantasy. I wouldn't comfort her with such unrealistic words.
We drank two bottles of strong liquor together.
I drank until I felt miserable.
I really didn't care about her past, even though her marriage was unhappy (arranged by her parents, although both sets of parents had a good relationship and were well-off). But the constraints of tradition were like handcuffs. She couldn't handle it, and neither could I.
I asked her curiously why she chose me, and she said I had my own charm.
That night, we embraced tightly and kissed passionately, just like the first time. For some reason, I just couldn't stop kissing her.
Sometimes I marvel at modern communication—WeChat, QQ, cell phones.
Back then, we exchanged nothing but pager numbers. The day before I left, I went out alone to buy flowers and an outfit.
She came back in the evening, and I ran next door to give them to her. She turned away abruptly. I saw tears welling up in her eyes. Then she turned back and enveloped me with her deep, passionate beauty. I roughly caressed her, kissing almost her entire body. She was leaning against the wall, disheveled, legs spread, pressing my head against her,
panting, soaking wet, moaning, completely disregarding her daytime elegance. Until she bit my ear and said, "Fuck me! Fuck me until you'll never forget me!"
Yes, that's how she was in bed. I think I'll never forget every night with her.
She was actually my first girlfriend! You might consider it a romantic encounter, but I don't.
That summer, as vibrant as a flower, was only fleetingly beautiful.
Only one friend on the same floor knew about our relationship. I know he was practically drooling with envy.
After she left, I sometimes fell into long, endless emptiness.
Although we agreed not to contact each other, I always thought of her. I wanted to call out to her, but each time I picked up the phone and put it down again.
She changed my behavior and my life just like that.
I was no longer unfamiliar with sex, but I also had no desire to pursue other girls.
On the campus paths, I would sometimes see the beautiful girls from the Foreign Languages Department, and we would greet each other with smiles.
"Going to study?"
"Yeah, what about you?"
"I need to do some programming on my computer."
"Oh, then go ahead and do your work."
Sometimes I would watch her walk away, and she would sometimes turn around, but I would quickly pretend I didn't see her.
Later, QQ became popular, and of course I added her. We would chat occasionally because I needed to go to the computer lab or internet cafe.
Sometimes she would leave messages like:
"Hi, are you going home this time?"
"My head hurts so much, I think I have a cold."
"Where are you?"
and so on. Once, she had a cold, and I waited outside the girls' dormitory before accompanying her to the school clinic for an IV drip.
When we came back, she took my arm.
I don't know why, but I wanted to pull away from her hand, though I didn't.
Before graduation, we ate together a few times. We talked about everything from when we first met until now. She said she hadn't seen me much since her junior year, especially after summer vacation, and felt I had changed a lot.
I asked how I had changed.
She said slowly, "So strangely familiar."
I remained silent.
I knew she and my best friend hadn't ended up together. But that unspoken barrier remained in my heart.
After graduation, we still chatted often. She taught at a college in Hangzhou.
When her Hello Kitty avatar flashed, I knew it was a message from her.
Later, she said she was being pressured into blind dates.
Until one time she said, "I'm getting married!"
I asked, "Are you really sure?"
She said, "If I don't get married soon, I'll be too old!"
I said congratulations, I'll be there.
I wondered why women always seem to marry so unexpectedly.
"I have a question for you, answer me honestly!"—After a while, she sent me this message.
This message seemed vaguely familiar!
"Tell me!"
"Did you ever like me?"
A long silence followed, a feeling of wanting to cry welled up in my eyes, slowly blurring them. I typed in the chat box:
"I did!"
"Why did you never say it?"
"I didn't know how to say it, I was afraid of hurting myself!"
(End of this piece)

I'm writing this to recount my past emotional journey. Everyone has memories worth cherishing, and so do I.
Having seen many masterpieces in this world, I'm reminded of those wonderful stories of love and passion.
But I don't want to delve into descriptions of sex here; it doesn't have to be explicit, right?

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Part 7 ~ Summer Vacation Memories 5

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