A mystery that may never be solved

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My aunt's sister took her son and my daughter on a trip to Xiamen. Five hours ago, I did something incredibly crazy: I had sex with my wife, who is over five months pregnant. We did oral sex, gag, bondage, anal sex, and even buried her gag-covered head in a pillow to slightly suffocate her! After I ejaculated inside her, my wife lay in my arms and told me she would never contact other men again! I didn't say anything. This passion stemmed entirely from a DNA test report I received two days ago. Several years ago, I wrote in my diary that I might not be my father's biological son, but I could never confirm it. I consulted many testing agencies, but the required samples were very stringent (more than 10 hairs with follicles, blood, or a swab sample from swallowing), which I could never obtain. Perhaps God was watching over me; last month, on my stepmother's birthday, my father cut his left index finger while scaling fish. I was so excited! I wiped the blood with gauze, bandaged it, and hid the gauze. The next day, I sent it, along with my blood sample, to a DNA testing center at a university of political science and law that I had already contacted. I waited anxiously for the results, and on August 6th, I received the paternity test report. Nine out of 15 points didn't match, essentially ruling out our father-son relationship. My first thought upon receiving the report was to destroy it, so I burned it in the bathroom. Actually, my initial thought was to take a picture before destroying it; I don't know why I was so worried. For the 6th and 7th, I kept having dreams. There were scenes of me seeing my mother cheating when I was a child, scenes of my parents discussing my mother's infidelity during sex, and scenes of many people gang-raping my mother—some real, some imagined. I wanted to talk to my mother, but I couldn't; I could only see her ecstatic, lewd expression during sex. In the dreams, I also couldn't talk to my father, but I could talk to other men. I asked them why they were mistreating my mother, and they replied with the same thing: "Who doesn't want to be fucked? If I don't, someone else will." These dreams kept repeating for the past two days, so when I'm having sex with my wife, I imagine her as my mother, and the child in her womb as me! Isn't that perverted? I think I'm very perverted too. How can I heal my pain (I don't know whose child it is, I don't know my biological father's name)? I think only time can help.

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A mystery that may never be solved

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