The joy after class

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

"Counseling office reporting, counseling office reporting! Lin Yufen, Pan Yixiang, Tang Shijie, Gao Muwen... please report to the counseling office after class." The announcement echoed throughout the campus. The students called out were regulars, coming and going as if it were a routine, until they finally graduated or were expelled. "Hey! Want to go to the internet cafe?" "I already have plans, I have a math makeup exam later." "Then we'll be going now, see you tomorrow!" As soon as school was over, students called out to their friends and went their separate ways. Some prepared to go to the counseling office, of course, to procrastinate as long as possible. After all, what difference did it make? "Sorry, I almost missed it again." Jiang Jingwen rushed into the counseling office. She had stayed up all night researching materials and was not in good spirits today. She even dozed off frequently during the meeting, which earned her a glare from the director. Fang Xiaozhu, much more senior than her, comforted her, "It's alright, the students haven't arrived yet. You have about five minutes to prepare." "Thank you, senior!" Jingwen walked into the consultation room while organizing the files. She was going to have a one-on-one meeting with the student and needed to understand the student's problems first. After graduating from the psychology department of university, Jiang Jingwen became a counselor at Qingchuan High School. Although she was only twenty-three years old and a bit absent-minded by nature, her serious attitude left a deep impression and somewhat lifted the sluggish work atmosphere. After all, counseling high school students was no easy task. These little adults of the digital age had thoughts, opinions, and personalities, but lacked sound judgment. Especially in the complexities of modern society, counseling content included not only academics, family, and future prospects, but also issues such as violence, drugs, and relationships. Even if the teacher had three heads and six arms, it wouldn't be enough. Despite this, Jingwen plunged headlong into this world, believing she could create miracles with her heart full of love. A moment later, the door opened, and a tall, thin male student walked in, quietly sat on the sofa, silent and expressionless, as if no one else was there. Jingwen was used to this scene. Students often ignored her, thinking she was easy to bully because of her youth. But her diploma wasn't something she'd gotten by chance; she wanted to prove herself! Suddenly, a gust of wind blew, and the files on the table fluttered. She steadied them with both hands and said, "Hello, I'm Teacher Jiang. Today we're going to discuss..." As usual, Pan Yixiang's mind was elsewhere. He came to the counseling room just to kill time; he knew it was pointless, like daylight not understanding night, or the earth not understanding the sky. Jingwen tried to speak gently, "I know you have autonomic nervous system dysfunction and have been seeing a psychiatrist since junior high. You're only in your first year of high school now, so your studies shouldn't be too busy. I hope you can come to the counseling room more often so we can better understand your mental and physical condition, okay?" Hearing something completely unrelated to him, Pan Yixiang glanced at her a few more times. Although she was wearing a gray suit and silver-rimmed glasses, it couldn't hide her delicate and youthful appearance. Perhaps she was a recent college graduate, thinking she could govern the country and bring peace to the world just by learning a few theories. Looking at her bright, intelligent eyes, she must have a happy family and never suffered much hardship in her life. She still harbors illusions about humanity and the world; it will take many years to wear away her naivety. Jingwen still had a smile on her face. "How are you feeling now? Is your sleep, diet, and classes going well? Is there anything you want to say to your teacher?" He coldly replied, "Who are you talking to? Figure things out before you come to work. Don't waste the school's money!" Jingwen was startled by him. She hadn't expected him to start with such a difficult question. "Huh? Aren't you Gao Muwen?" She carefully compared the photo with the real person. Although they both had facial features, they were completely different. Oh no, she had taken the wrong file! As a counselor, she hadn't confirmed the student's identity before saying all this, which was tantamount to revealing someone's privacy. What should she do now? Things were getting much more interesting. Pan Yixiang's lips curled up slightly. He wanted to see whether this seemingly caring teacher would admit her mistake directly or become angry out of embarrassment. From what he knew, adults always said one thing and did another. Jingwen blushed and stood up timidly. "I'm sorry, I mistook you for someone else, and... I accidentally revealed Gao's situation. Please keep it a secret and don't let it leak out, okay?" Pan Yixiang snorted coldly. "Are you being so humble because you're afraid I'll tell others?" Jingwen didn't hear the sarcasm in his voice. Filled with guilt, she bowed deeply and said, "I'll report to the director later. I made a very serious mistake and should ask for punishment. But... regarding Gao's situation, I don't want him to feel betrayed, that's why I'm asking you to keep it a secret." "Is that so?" He was skeptical. How much could he trust this woman's words? His intuition told him that human nature is inherently cunning, no matter how innocent one may appear. "I'm sorry, I'll have the director handle this right now." Jingwen picked up the phone and dialed the director's extension. "Wait a minute." He hung up the phone immediately. "You're tutoring Gao, so what about me? Sitting here listening to your nonsense is just a waste of my time." "I'll ask another teacher to schedule another appointment with you. I'm really sorry." She bowed again, her heart aching. "Never mind." He suddenly had the urge to tease her. "Since I'm already here, why don't you tutor me for me? I know all the other teachers; none of them can do anything to me." "You're willing to let me tutor you?" Jingwen couldn't believe it. A student actually "specifically" wanted her?! "If you have the courage," he stated his condition. "Of course!" Her spirits lifted. "Wait a moment, I'll go get your file." "No need, I can recite it myself." He casually said, "Pan Yixiang, nineteen years old this year, his parents divorced when he was five. He transferred schools twenty-three times, took eight breaks from school, dropped out fifteen times, and attempted suicide six times." Jingwen's face turned pale instantly, and her voice trembled. "Are you... joking with me?" In today's society, parental divorce is not uncommon, and transferring schools, taking breaks from school, and dropping out are also common, but... he actually attempted suicide six times? How could this child have such deep pain? So much suffering? Pan Yixiang just shrugged. "If you don't believe me, teacher, you don't need to tutor me." "No, I believe you. I'm just too surprised. May I ask... why... did you attempt suicide?" She quickly clarified, her voice trembling as she said those two words. "I can't think of any meaning to living. If you have an answer, please tell me." Since he became conscious, he had always wanted to know why he came into this world. "Uh..." Jingwen was sitting by the window, her hand just out of reach to touch the outside. "Like the sunlight, it feels so warm; and the breeze, it feels so gentle. Just that makes me feel so moved, so wanting to live." Pan Yixiang had never heard such a thing before. He usually only gave formulaic answers, like self-realization, serving society, dedicating his knowledge, and so on. He never expected that her seemingly silly words would touch his heart. "Isn't that too simple?" "Simplicity is happiness, don't you think?" "I don't think so." His answer was too decisive, leaving no room for negotiation. She had a heart full of love, how could she back down so easily? "That's because you're overthinking it. Come on, do it with me, pull your mouth to the sides, and you'll smile right away." Of course, he didn't do it, but seeing her puffing out her cheeks and forcing a smile, she didn't look like a teacher at all, but rather like a silly child, which softened his stubborn gaze slightly. "How are you feeling? Feeling better now? Happiness is so simple if you treat yourself like a child." She chuckled. "When I was little, I thought rainbows were magical and wonderful, and I was so happy to be alive." "That was when you were little. Do you still feel the same way now?" She had already guessed he would ask that question and immediately replied, "As you grow up, the ability to be happy gradually disappears, so you have to remind yourself often to look up at the sky. Wow, it's so blue! The world is so big! Although there are sad times and happy times, no matter what, these are all proof that I am alive. So I have to feel it with my heart, experience it with all my might, and cherish every moment of my life." Pan Yixiang was momentarily stunned, not by her words, but by her sincere expression, like a little girl who had never experienced the world and still retained her innate innocence. Seeing him lost in thought, Jingwen waved her hand and said, "Remember now? Weren't you easily happy when you were little? Do you remember the first time you discovered how wonderful it was to be alive?" He felt a jolt, and dormant memories resurfaced—memories he never wanted to recall. Regaining his composure, he coldly replied, "I'm sorry, your tutoring didn't work for me. I'll find another teacher next time." "Did I say something wrong? We can talk more..." Her pleas couldn't change his mind; he was determined to leave this absurd place. Pan Yixiang had barely left when the wind rushed in through the window cracks, and Jingwen shivered. She felt the early autumn weather was so unpredictable; why had the gentle breeze just moments before turned into a biting cold? After tidying up the student files, Jingwen slung her bag over her shoulder, ready to leave work. Director Chen Weinian called her back, "By the way, Gao Muwen is absent today. Who were you tutoring just now?" Jingwen shyly stuck out her tongue, "His name is Pan Yixiang. I thought he was Gao. I'm so sorry." Chen Weinian exclaimed "Ah—" and frowned, saying, "That child only transferred last semester, and he's already stumped all the teachers."Jingwen sympathized. "Yes! I talked to him and found he was very unhappy and had no will to live." "He's not an ordinary problem student. Actually, he's very intelligent. He can get full marks or zero marks at will. He doesn't do drugs, race cars, or hang out with gangs." Chen Weinian casually pulled out Pan Yixiang's file. "Look, he even won first place in a physics competition. You can see he's very talented, but he just can't get over his inner conflicts." "Is it because of his parents?" In her mind, parents have the greatest and deepest influence on their children. "It's somewhat related, but it's a done deal. He shouldn't give up on life like this. It's just a pity that no matter how many times I've tried to persuade him, it hasn't worked." Chen Weinian has twenty years of experience in counseling, but he was also at a loss with this strange child. While flipping through the materials, Jingwen made a request, "Director, although I'm not the teacher responsible for tutoring him, if he's willing to talk to me, can I show him more attention?" "Of course," came the reply. "We're not doing performance reviews or rankings. Every teacher should do their best as long as it helps the student. But don't push yourself too hard; I'm afraid you'll feel frustrated." He himself had suffered from this before; dealing with this overly intelligent and perceptive child, nothing he said or did seemed right. Jingwen nodded. "I know, I'll consult with the director anytime." "Don't even mention consulting, I simply can't handle him!" Chen Weinian chuckled wryly, scratching his head. He was only fifty years old, yet his hair was completely white, all thanks to these genius students. The two smiled at each other; although one was junior and the other senior, their enthusiasm was the same. From that day on, Jiang Jingwen, besides the students she was responsible for tutoring, also paid special attention to Pan Yixiang's movements. Although he would report to the tutoring office regularly, it was clearly perfunctory and inattentive; all the teachers had surrendered to him. "Forget it, forget it," Chen Weinian concluded pessimistically. "As long as he comes to school and doesn't commit suicide, that's good enough." Fang Xiaozhu had also experienced his indifference before, and waved her hands, saying, "Some things can't be forced. Teachers aren't omnipotent either. Let's just leave it to fate!" Jingwen thought this wasn't a solution. Whenever she had the chance to run into Pan Yixiang, she would always greet him warmly. Even if he ignored her, she would make faces and stick out her tongue, hoping to see some warmth in his eyes. At first, Pan Yixiang thought she was crazy. What kind of teacher was so lacking in self-awareness and dignity? Later, he realized she was just trying to make him happy, and out of consideration for her good intentions, he reluctantly tolerated it. "You should greet the teacher when you run into them!" she would occasionally try to start a conversation with him. "Oh~~" He leaned lazily against the door and nodded in response. "You look so listless. You need to go to bed early and get up early from now on, you know?" "Hmph!" He still acted indifferent, but she wouldn't give up. "Come to the counseling room more often. We all enjoy chatting with you." He was annoyed enough by her, so he simply closed his eyes, clearly telling her to get lost. "Smile more often, or you won't get dementia!" she reminded him one last time before leaving. As soon as Jingwen returned to the counseling room, her senior, Fang Xiaozhu, approached her and said, "When you were doing your good deed, all the counselors saw it. We even bet that if Pan Yixiang said a single word, we'd donate a hundred dollars to you!" "Huh?" Jingwen was both amused and exasperated. "You guys have so little faith in me?" Director Chen Weinian continued, "Who taught Pan Yixiang to be so cool? His reaction to you was already quite good. Sometimes he sees me and turns away, I don't even get a chance to speak." Fang Xiaozhu took out three hundred dollars and placed it on the table. "Here, this is your reward. He said 'oh' and 'uh-huh' just now, everyone heard it very clearly." "Thank you~" Jingwen thanked everyone, and said with a wry smile, "I will donate your kindness to charity and turn my grief into strength, becoming stronger with each setback!" "Director, why don't we set up an award for counseling Pan Yixiang? Whoever can cheer him up will receive a special bonus, what do you think?" "Great idea! I'll donate two thousand first." Chen Weinian spoke quickly, but when he pulled out his wallet, he only had five hundred dollars. He couldn't help but scratch his head and laugh foolishly, "Oh no, I forgot to ask my wife for pocket money before I left." "It's okay, the director has the privilege of owing money. Everyone else can register here. Everyone who participates has a chance!" Fang Xiaozhu took out a notebook to keep track of expenses, and everyone followed suit, as enthusiastically as if they were buying lottery tickets. The time spent laughing and joking passed especially quickly. Pan Yixiang was still a problem for the counseling office and Jiang Jingwen's biggest challenge, until one day, she accidentally stumbled into his world. Looking back now, she doesn't even know if it was good or bad. Perhaps fate came and couldn't be stopped, or perhaps there was some force in the universe that destined her to meet him. She remembered it was during lunch break, and Jingwen climbed up to the roof alone to enjoy a moment of peace. Dealing with so many problems and facing so many students every day, sometimes she really wished she could fly away, fly to a faraway place. Opening the rooftop door, a fierce wind rushed in. She thought, "Strange, there was no wind downstairs. Perhaps the air convection is particularly strong up here." Just as she brushed her wind-blown hair aside, a startling scene unfolded before her eyes: a boy stood on the railing, his arms raised high, as if conversing with the sky, or perhaps about to kiss the ground! "Pan Yixiang, what are you doing standing there? Don't do anything foolish!" She recognized the figure instantly, calling his name in less than half a second. Hearing the interruption, Pan Yixiang continued muttering to himself, "I want to fly." Fly? She trembled, not having time to think, and said in a coaxing tone, "Okay, okay, Teacher will take you on the roller coaster, please don't use such a dangerous method!" Her answer made him smile, and he slowly turned his head, "Roller coasters aren't enough for me, I want to fly like the wind to the ends of the earth, that's better for everyone." "That's not good!" She took two steps closer, afraid of upsetting him and causing an irreversible ending, "Your parents, teachers, and friends will all be heartbroken!" He shook his head and said, "You're wrong, they'll just think they've eliminated one less troublesome person." "No!" Seeing him about to jump, she rushed forward and hugged him at the last second. The wind suddenly reversed direction, so strong that it was irresistible, and Pan Yixiang fell backward, the two tumbling onto the concrete ground. There was no surprise in his eyes, he only asked calmly, "Teacher, weren't you afraid I would pull you down just now?" She gasped for breath, making sure he was alright, "As long as you're safe, that's all that matters." "What's the point of saving someone like me?" "Don't..."As soon as Jingwen returned to the counseling room, her senior, Fang Xiaozhu, approached her and said, "When you were doing your good deed, all the counselors saw it. We even bet that if Pan Yixiang said a single word, we'd donate a hundred dollars to you!" "Huh?" Jingwen was both amused and exasperated. "You guys have so little faith in me?" Director Chen Weinian continued, "Who taught Pan Yixiang to be so cool? His reaction to you was already quite good. Sometimes he sees me and turns away, I don't even get a chance to speak." Fang Xiaozhu took out three hundred dollars and placed it on the table. "Here, this is your reward. He said 'oh' and 'uh-huh' just now, everyone heard it very clearly." "Thank you~" Jingwen thanked everyone, and said with a wry smile, "I will donate your kindness to charity and turn my grief into strength, becoming stronger with each setback!" "Director, why don't we set up an award for counseling Pan Yixiang? Whoever can cheer him up will receive a special bonus, what do you think?" "Great idea! I'll donate two thousand first." Chen Weinian spoke quickly, but when he pulled out his wallet, he only had five hundred dollars. He couldn't help but scratch his head and laugh foolishly, "Oh no, I forgot to ask my wife for pocket money before I left." "It's okay, the director has the privilege of owing money. Everyone else can register here. Everyone who participates has a chance!" Fang Xiaozhu took out a notebook to keep track of expenses, and everyone followed suit, as enthusiastically as if they were buying lottery tickets. The time spent laughing and joking passed especially quickly. Pan Yixiang was still a problem for the counseling office and Jiang Jingwen's biggest challenge, until one day, she accidentally stumbled into his world. Looking back now, she doesn't even know if it was good or bad. Perhaps fate came and couldn't be stopped, or perhaps there was some force in the universe that destined her to meet him. She remembered it was during lunch break, and Jingwen climbed up to the roof alone to enjoy a moment of peace. Dealing with so many problems and facing so many students every day, sometimes she really wished she could fly away, fly to a faraway place. Opening the rooftop door, a fierce wind rushed in. She thought, "Strange, there was no wind downstairs. Perhaps the air convection is particularly strong up here." Just as she brushed her wind-blown hair aside, a startling scene unfolded before her eyes: a boy stood on the railing, his arms raised high, as if conversing with the sky, or perhaps about to kiss the ground! "Pan Yixiang, what are you doing standing there? Don't do anything foolish!" She recognized the figure instantly, calling his name in less than half a second. Hearing the interruption, Pan Yixiang continued muttering to himself, "I want to fly." Fly? She trembled, not having time to think, and said in a coaxing tone, "Okay, okay, Teacher will take you on the roller coaster, please don't use such a dangerous method!" Her answer made him smile, and he slowly turned his head, "Roller coasters aren't enough for me, I want to fly like the wind to the ends of the earth, that's better for everyone." "That's not good!" She took two steps closer, afraid of upsetting him and causing an irreversible ending, "Your parents, teachers, and friends will all be heartbroken!" He shook his head and said, "You're wrong, they'll just think they've eliminated one less troublesome person." "No!" Seeing him about to jump, she rushed forward and hugged him at the last second. The wind suddenly reversed direction, so strong that it was irresistible, and Pan Yixiang fell backward, the two tumbling onto the concrete ground. There was no surprise in his eyes, he only asked calmly, "Teacher, weren't you afraid I would pull you down just now?" She gasped for breath, making sure he was alright, "As long as you're safe, that's all that matters." "What's the point of saving someone like me?" "Don't..."As soon as Jingwen returned to the counseling room, her senior, Fang Xiaozhu, approached her and said, "When you were doing your good deed, all the counselors saw it. We even bet that if Pan Yixiang said a single word, we'd donate a hundred dollars to you!" "Huh?" Jingwen was both amused and exasperated. "You guys have so little faith in me?" Director Chen Weinian continued, "Who taught Pan Yixiang to be so cool? His reaction to you was already quite good. Sometimes he sees me and turns away, I don't even get a chance to speak." Fang Xiaozhu took out three hundred dollars and placed it on the table. "Here, this is your reward. He said 'oh' and 'uh-huh' just now, everyone heard it very clearly." "Thank you~" Jingwen thanked everyone, and said with a wry smile, "I will donate your kindness to charity and turn my grief into strength, becoming stronger with each setback!" "Director, why don't we set up an award for counseling Pan Yixiang? Whoever can cheer him up will receive a special bonus, what do you think?" "Great idea! I'll donate two thousand first." Chen Weinian spoke quickly, but when he pulled out his wallet, he only had five hundred dollars. He couldn't help but scratch his head and laugh foolishly, "Oh no, I forgot to ask my wife for pocket money before I left." "It's okay, the director has the privilege of owing money. Everyone else can register here. Everyone who participates has a chance!" Fang Xiaozhu took out a notebook to keep track of expenses, and everyone followed suit, as enthusiastically as if they were buying lottery tickets. The time spent laughing and joking passed especially quickly. Pan Yixiang was still a problem for the counseling office and Jiang Jingwen's biggest challenge, until one day, she accidentally stumbled into his world. Looking back now, she doesn't even know if it was good or bad. Perhaps fate came and couldn't be stopped, or perhaps there was some force in the universe that destined her to meet him. She remembered it was during lunch break, and Jingwen climbed up to the roof alone to enjoy a moment of peace. Dealing with so many problems and facing so many students every day, sometimes she really wished she could fly away, fly to a faraway place. Opening the rooftop door, a fierce wind rushed in. She thought, "Strange, there was no wind downstairs. Perhaps the air convection is particularly strong up here." Just as she brushed her wind-blown hair aside, a startling scene unfolded before her eyes: a boy stood on the railing, his arms raised high, as if conversing with the sky, or perhaps about to kiss the ground! "Pan Yixiang, what are you doing standing there? Don't do anything foolish!" She recognized the figure instantly, calling his name in less than half a second. Hearing the interruption, Pan Yixiang continued muttering to himself, "I want to fly." Fly? She trembled, not having time to think, and said in a coaxing tone, "Okay, okay, Teacher will take you on the roller coaster, please don't use such a dangerous method!" Her answer made him smile, and he slowly turned his head, "Roller coasters aren't enough for me, I want to fly like the wind to the ends of the earth, that's better for everyone." "That's not good!" She took two steps closer, afraid of upsetting him and causing an irreversible ending, "Your parents, teachers, and friends will all be heartbroken!" He shook his head and said, "You're wrong, they'll just think they've eliminated one less troublesome person." "No!" Seeing him about to jump, she rushed forward and hugged him at the last second. The wind suddenly reversed direction, so strong that it was irresistible, and Pan Yixiang fell backward, the two tumbling onto the concrete ground. There was no surprise in his eyes, he only asked calmly, "Teacher, weren't you afraid I would pull you down just now?" She gasped for breath, making sure he was alright, "As long as you're safe, that's all that matters." "What's the point of saving someone like me?" "Don't..."

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