My May-December Romance with a Girl (13-14)

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13.
After we got dressed and left the bedroom, Ji Meishan's aunt and uncle looked at us with astonished expressions, as if we were monsters.
That day, Ji Meishan and I were separated. Her uncle stayed in the house with her, while her aunt took me downstairs and we sat on a public bench in the community to talk.
"Anmei, Anmei..." Ji Meishan's aunt said with heartache, "You're over forty years old, with a husband and children, yet you're having a lesbian relationship with a young girl, it's outrageous! And you're a university teacher!"
I said that Ji Meishan and I were truly in love, but she said, "You're both women, how can you be together? It's disgusting, it's perverted. "
I understood her feelings; after all, society still has too much prejudice against homosexuals.
It was only then that I learned that Ji Meishan's father didn't want her to return to Changsha for the National Day holiday, but she insisted on coming back (actually, she went to the Netherlands with me). Her father suspected that his daughter might have a boyfriend in Changsha, but she hadn't told them, so he asked her aunt to inquire about it.
Ji Meishan's aunt had visited twice before, but Ji Meishan and I were in the Netherlands at the time, and her Chinese phone number was useless, so her aunt couldn't contact her and decided to come another day.
This morning, Ji Meishan's aunt and uncle appeared before us, but her aunt never expected that the person with her niece would be me, an old woman.
"Our Meishan is so outstanding, so many boys have pursued her, but she insists on being with you, a woman old enough to be her mother..."
Ji Meishan's aunt became increasingly angry as she spoke, "What can you give her? Children? Marriage? Family? Besides, when she grows up, she'll be stigmatized as a lesbian, facing discrimination everywhere she goes. Can't you think about her future and life? You're only ruining her life."
I was speechless at her words. I had considered these issues before, but because I wanted to be with Ji Meishan so much, I had been avoiding them. Now, hearing Ji Meishan's aunt say this, I was enveloped by a feeling of despair.
"In short, you are absolutely forbidden from seeing Meishan again, and you are absolutely forbidden from getting close to her," Ji Meishan's aunt concluded.
That afternoon, Ji Meishan was sent back to Guangzhou by her aunt. From that day until the end of November, we didn't see each other. As soon as
Ji Meishan returned to Guangzhou, her father kept a close watch on her. Her ID card was confiscated, her bank cards were frozen, and she was changed from a boarding student to a day student, all to prevent her from returning to Changsha to see me.
I could have gone to Guangzhou to see her and met her outside without her father's knowledge, but whenever she made this request, and whenever the thought crossed my mind, her aunt's words echoed in my ears.
So I told Ji Meishan that I had many more classes this semester, and my son was in high school, so I didn't have as much free time as before, but I would make time to see her.
She said she understood and firmly believed that we could still meet and be together. I said I thought so too. We encouraged each other, but as I spoke, I felt a deep sense of confusion and weakness I'd never experienced before.
Not long after, my son, Mingming, got into trouble.
That weekend, I returned home, and that night, my husband entered my room, intending to force himself on me. We argued. The next day, my son ran away from home and disappeared without a trace.
Several days later, the police found him under a bridge. When we saw him, he was dark, thin, and dirty, looking like a little street urchin. At that moment, my heart, as a mother, broke.
The night I brought my son home, I held him tightly in my arms on the bed, not letting go for a moment, as if afraid he would disappear again.
He nestled in my arms, begging me not to divorce his father; he didn't want to be a child from a single-parent family. He even asked if I didn't love him anymore, if I didn't want him anymore.
I understood. For the past few months, I'd only been with Ji Meishan, rarely spending time with my son, and now that he knew about my separation from his father, he felt this way.
Hearing my son's words, my heart was breaking; I felt like dying. I held my son, who was now much taller than me, and cried and cried.
After my son fell asleep, I came out of his room and saw my husband sitting on the floor of the master bedroom, chain-smoking—someone who never smoked. I went over and sat beside him, taking the cigarette from his hand and stubbing it out in the ashtray.
My husband buried his head in his hands and said painfully, "Why are you doing this to me, to our son?"
He lifted his head from his hands, stared at me, and said, "Anmei, what else do you want? Do you really want to destroy this family, destroy our son?"
I was speechless and could only weep silently. My husband also started crying, and I pulled his head into my arms. We embraced and wept, and gradually, my husband cupped my head and kissed my lips; I didn't resist.
Then he became increasingly impulsive and began to undress me; I still didn't resist until he carried me to the bed.
As my husband thrust into me, my mind went blank, and my eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. My husband was very excited, and while we were having sex, he kept asking me in my ear, "Tell me how she did it to you? How did you two do it together?"
I ignored him and didn't move until he ejaculated inside me...
After that night, I moved back home to live with my husband and son. I didn't tell Ji Meishan about it.
But inevitably, a rift developed between my husband and me. He often came home very late, and sometimes he didn't come home at all.
My husband is in his forties, successful in his career, and good-looking. I had suspected him of having affairs before, and now I was even more suspicious. But I didn't plan to pursue it. As long as he didn't go too far, I was willing to turn a blind eye, as a way of making amends to him.
One day at the end of November that year, I suddenly received a call from Ji Meishan. She told me that she had stolen her ID card and bought a ticket to come to Changsha to see me, and asked me to pick her up at the train station.
We hadn't seen each other for almost two months since she returned to Guangzhou after the National Day holiday. Although I thought about her every day, and it pained me, I felt no joy when I heard this news.
That day, I kept receiving messages from Ji Meishan on WeChat, saying she missed me so much, was so happy to finally see me, and so on. I replied to each one, telling her I missed her too and was overjoyed as well. But my heart was filled with sadness.
She even told me to get ready and wait for her. If it were any other time, seeing these romantic words from her would have aroused me, but this time I just wanted to cry.
When Ji Meishan was almost there, I texted her, saying I couldn't pick her up and was waiting for her in a private room at a certain restaurant, telling her to take a taxi herself. "
Honey, are you going to surprise me?" she texted on WeChat. I replied, "You'll see when you get there.
" "Meimei, I'm here..." Ji Meishan said excitedly as she stepped into the private room at dusk, but when she saw my husband beside me, her smile froze.
The three of them ate in silence and awkwardness for a while. Then, my husband stood up and said to Ji Meishan, "Meishan, Uncle has something to attend to and will be leaving first. You and your aunt can continue eating." "
Okay, goodbye Uncle," Ji Meishan said, forcing a smile.
As soon as her husband left, she immediately asked, "What's your husband doing here?"
I smiled calmly, "Because he's my husband!"
She stared at me blankly for a long while before saying, "What do you mean?"
I avoided her gaze and smiled, "Meishan, are there any boys who like you at university? You're so pretty and have such a great figure, you must have a lot of boys chasing after you, right? If you find someone suitable, bring them to Auntie's attention, and Auntie will give you her opinion."
"I'm asking you what you meant by what you just said?" She was still staring at me. "Also, you're not my aunt."
I calmly said, "He's my husband, so he's here with me to welcome you back, that's all."
Ji Meishan said coldly, "You and your husband got back together? You're living together again?"
I nodded, "Yes..."
"Then what about me? What am I supposed to do?" Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at me.
“Meishan…” I looked up at her. “You’re still young, only eighteen. Your life has just begun. If you’re willing, you have a bright future ahead of you. Why waste it on an old woman like me?”
Tears streamed down her face. “I don’t care about what you’re saying. I can give it all up. I just want you.”
“But I do care…” I said. “I can’t just watch you ruin yourself.”
She wiped away her tears and said, “Anmei, you made me fall in love with you so easily back then, and now you’re saying these things to me…”
She choked up. “Do you know how much I love you? Do you know how much I’ve missed you these past few days when we can’t see each other? How can you say these things to me?”
Her words and her pitiful appearance shattered my heart. I forced myself to harden and said, “Then what do you expect me to do? My son ran away from home because of my separation from his father. I almost never saw him again.” I stared
at Ji Meishan with tears in my eyes, and she stared back at me blankly. We looked at each other with tearful eyes, speechless for a moment.
Suddenly, Ji Meishan knelt down in front of me, took my hands, and said, "Meimei, your son can't live without you, but I can't live without you either."
My heart ached, and I looked to the side, tears streaming down my face. She leaned forward, hugged me, and kissed me, saying, "Meimei, let's be together, okay? Let's be together, okay?"
"What are you doing?" I pushed her away and stood up, saying, "Wake up! Ji Meishan, I can't ruin your life, and I can't ruin my son."
She stared at me with teary eyes, which broke my heart, but I still hardened my heart and said, "I can't ruin my other child either."
"What did you say?" she asked.

14.
I took out a pregnancy test result from the hospital from my bag, which showed that I was pregnant. This child was conceived the night my son came home, after my husband and I had sex. I only confirmed it a few days ago after a check-up at the hospital.
Ji Meishan took it and looked at it, then slumped into a chair. After a long silence, she finally looked up at me. "Anmei, did you ever love me?"
I decided to extinguish her hopes completely and said coldly, "I think this is absurd. How could a normal woman fall in love with another woman?"
I turned and stared at her with sharp eyes. "Do you want to hear the truth?"
She nodded, tears welling in her eyes. I said, "The truth is, I don't love you. I never have."
As I said these words, it felt like I was tearing my own heart out. Her tears fell again, and she choked out, "But you clearly said you loved me! You said you loved me so much..."
I gave a cold laugh. "I admit, you gave me a completely new experience, even a thrill I'd never felt before, but I..."
I paused, then continued, "Maybe I was bewitched back then? That's why I said those things to you."
I stood up, picked up my bag under her tearful gaze, and said, "Meishan, find a boyfriend and live a normal life!"
Then I walked towards the door of the private room. She called my name from behind, "An Mei..."
I stopped, but didn't turn around. I only heard her say, "I hate you!"
Tears streamed down my face. I walked out of the private room without a word, silently saying in my heart, "Xiao Shan, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I had to do this.
" I wiped away my tears and took out my phone to call Ji Meishan's aunt. "You can come up and pick her up now."
After learning this morning that Ji Meishan was coming to Changsha to see me, I had arranged all of this in advance. Ji Meishan's aunt and uncle were waiting downstairs at the restaurant. Originally, I didn't plan to involve my husband, but after he found out, he insisted on appearing in front of Ji Meishan to make her give up.
"An Mei..." Ji Meishan's aunt said on the other end of the phone, seemingly hesitant to speak, "Thank you."
I hung up the phone, tears streaming down my face...
In the taxi, I received a call from my husband. He asked if the matter was resolved. I said it was. He asked when I was going back. I said I wanted to be alone and might stay at the school's apartment complex tonight. My husband said, "Okay, I believe you."
I went to a bar to drown my sorrows. Through my hazy, drunken eyes, a woman in her late twenties approached me, patted me on the shoulder, and asked, "Sister, what's bothering you? Drinking alone?"
Even though I was already quite tipsy, I recognized her. It was Li Fei, Ji Meishan's former lesbian lover.
She was beautiful, with long, attractive light chestnut hair. She wasn't very tall, about 1.6 meters, but slender, and had a captivating, mature aura. Underneath her open black blazer, a glimpse of her alluring cleavage was visible through the gap in her shirt.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I'm the owner of this bar, so I'm here!" Li Fei chuckled, sitting down beside me.
I then realized I'd entered Li Fei's bar. She gently stroked my back and asked, "Where's Meishan? Why isn't she with you?"
She was a complete lesbian; she had turned Ji Meishan gay years ago, and later Ji Meishan had turned me gay too. I had even been jealous of her and Ji Meishan. There was a subtle connection between us.
I took a sip of my drink and said, "We broke up."
"Really?" Li Fei was a little surprised. "Did you dump her, or did she dump you?"
"Does it matter?" I stared at her and said, "I'm warning you, she's not like you. Don't you dare lay a finger on her. Let her live a normal life. Otherwise, I'll never forgive you."
She chuckled softly, glanced away, and said, "Don't worry, I won't always be interested in the same person, especially someone who rejected me."
Her hand suddenly slipped inside the waistband of my jeans, reaching into my underwear and caressing my buttocks. "Come to my place tonight, and I guarantee all your troubles will disappear."
A girl sat nearby, watching us with a resentful look.
Looking at Li Fei's alluring gaze, I wanted to refuse her, wanted to remove her hand from my buttocks, but I said nothing, did nothing. Because in a daze, I seemed to see Ji Meishan sitting next to me.
As Li Fei led me out, the girl approached us. "Sister Fei, who is she? Where are you going?"
Li Fei coldly replied, "Get lost!"
The girl left crying.
When I woke up in the morning, I found myself lying naked in bed, with Li Fei, also naked, beside me.
She was sitting on the bed looking at me. She had a really good figure; her pubic hair was neatly trimmed, and there was a nice tattoo next to it.
I jumped up and, under Li Fei's gaze, found my underwear and pulled it on, then put on my bra.
Li Fei came over, reached out and pinched my chin, and laughed, "Sister, you're very charming and great. We can be together often in the future, but..."
She stopped there. I stared at her blankly, and then I finally remembered that last night, when I was drunk, I mistook her for Ji Meishan and we had been quite wild.
Li Fei continued, "But you can't keep calling me 'Xiaoshan, Xiaoshan' when we're having sex."
"There won't be a future." I pushed her hand away and quickly put on my clothes.
After leaving Li Fei's place, I went straight to the hospital. I planned to abort the baby; my husband didn't know about this little life.
Sitting on a chair in the maternity ward corridor, I thought of Ji Meishan again. I wondered how she was doing? She must still be in pain and heartbroken. Just thinking about it made my heart ache. But I knew I couldn't turn back, for her sake and for my own.
Just then, Ji Meishan's aunt called, telling me her husband was already on his way to take Ji Meishan back to Guangzhou.
"That girl is heartbroken, she really loves you..." Ji Meishan's aunt said, "Seeing her in so much pain, I really want to let you two be together..."
She paused for a moment, then added, "Anyway, An Mei, I still want to thank you."
I smiled bitterly, "I'm doing this for myself too. Goodbye."
Hanging up the phone, my heart was filled with emotion again. Let it end like this! Was there any other choice? This ending was the best for both of us.
I placed my hand on my stomach; in a little while, the little life inside would disappear. I couldn't help but burst into tears.
But I still decided to abort the child. First, it's not a good choice for a woman in her forties to have a child; second, I didn't want to love Ji Meishan while giving birth to my husband's child.
Just then, I saw a little girl nearby with her mother, smiling at me. I smiled at her too, until I heard the nurse call my name…
One year and five months have passed, and my daughter is seven months old now. That day, I hesitated before entering the operating room, which gave her the opportunity to be born and grow to this day.
The reason I changed my mind was because I couldn't bear to abort my own child. I thought that the little girl who kept smiling at me that day must have been my daughter's soul possessing her at that moment, begging her mother to keep her. Since God had given her to me, why should I refuse?
Fortunately, God granted my long-held wish to have a daughter.
Another reason was that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to resist going back to Ji Meishan, so I simply gave birth to the child, putting another layer of shackles on myself.
Since I became pregnant and gave birth to my second child, my husband's attitude towards me has changed a lot, and we've returned to our previous loving state.
For over a year, I haven't contacted Ji Meishan, and she hasn't contacted me either. I blocked her on my WeChat Moments, and I also blocked hers. I don't know if she did the same? We've become two completely unrelated people.
But not a day goes by that I don't think about her, wondering how she is now? Is her studying going well? Has she found a boyfriend?
So many times, I've woken up in the middle of the night, having just met her in my dreams, my pillow soaked with tears.
But seeing my husband snoring loudly beside me, and my daughter in the crib next to me, and thinking of my son who's now in his second year of high school, I tell myself, this is the life you should live, the life you must protect. And she, too, will have a new life of her own.
I thought I'd never see her again in this life, but unexpectedly, one day we met again.

(To be continued)

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My May-December Romance with a Girl (13-14)

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