The feeling of necrophilia

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I recently had sex with my senior sister a few times, but it wasn't very satisfying, it was annoying.
Although I've slept with many women, and my wife has been with many men, our life is still quite satisfactory.
Our open marriage has brought us a lot of joy.
But sometimes I wonder, what is the meaning of life? Are we too promiscuous?
Thinking about these things makes me annoyed.
Am I overthinking things?
I recently had sex with my senior sister several times, but it wasn't satisfying, it was so annoying.
She's very elegant and beautiful, many boys in school liked her, but no one dared to pursue her, they all thought she was too hard to get. Unexpectedly, the husband she married, we all thought he was terrible.
A month ago, she came to my house, just the two of us. We hugged and kissed, she didn't object, and even said that she actually liked me in school. I felt she had feelings for me, so I had sex with her. She kept pushing me away, not very cooperative, and cried afterward.

But she came again the next day. She hugged and kissed me again. So I had sex with her again. As a result, she cried again. She even accused me of bullying her. I thought, "That's so pretentious. We're both adults; if you want to do it, do it. If you don't, don't come to me." So, I got a little angry. I told her rudely, "If you don't want me to do it, don't come to my house. If you come, I'll assume you're willing to be with me." She said, "I never thought you were this kind of person. I'll never come to your house again." She didn't leave after that, so I invited her to lunch. After lunch, she said she was sleepy and wanted to sleep, and even wanted me to hold her while she slept. So, I did it with her again. While I was having sex with her, she resisted, kicking and hitting me, and even scratched my arm.
After she left, I was a little scared. In this situation, if she called the police, it could be considered rape.
We didn't contact each other for over twenty days after that. Yesterday, she invited me to her house. When I got there, we hugged and kissed without saying a word, like lovers. I asked her, "What's wrong with you?" She said she didn't want to do *that*, she just wanted to hug and kiss. I said, "We've already done it three times, let's do it a few more times. We've already done it, so what's the difference between doing it once and doing it a hundred times?" She said, "I don't want to be fucked."
Since she even said "fuck," I figured she meant it. So I pulled down her pants. Then she resisted fiercely again, scratching my hand. When I penetrated her, she stopped resisting. But she closed her eyes and said, "Fuck me, I'll pretend I'm dead." These last few times I fucked her, she didn't react at all, not even until I ejaculated. She seemed to feel nothing; it felt like I was committing necrophilia. So
annoying.

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The feeling of necrophilia

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