My wife has been having an affair with her fitness coach for two years.

page views:1 Publication date:2023-08-30情人劫

I first suspected my wife of cheating in the middle of 2021. Later, I confirmed she'd been cheating for a while, and then it turned out it was with her fitness trainer. It's been over two years since then. Sometimes, when I go to the bathroom at night, I feel a strong urge to cut off my manhood. Sometimes I really want to be a woman, because women don't have to worry about losing their partners because their "weapons" are too small.
It's been over half a year since my last visit here, and my wife is still openly having affairs with that fitness trainer. It's getting increasingly outrageous. When I first found out, I thought she was just temporarily lost, unable to resist the temptation of physical pleasure, since I couldn't provide that. I thought she'd come back after the initial excitement wore off. That fitness trainer treats her very badly; it's obvious he's treating her like a toy. I believe my wife will eventually realize this and come back. What I can give her is the warmth of a home and a lifetime of companionship.
Two years have passed, and I'm increasingly desperate. Although my wife still lives with me and spends most of her time at home, she's spending more and more nights out. My wife has changed a lot in her daily life. Her figure is getting better and better, and her skin and body are becoming healthier. I know this is because she's getting the kind of nourishment she couldn't get from me before. My wife has also started wearing heavy makeup, and her clothes are becoming more and more revealing when she goes out. Sometimes when I mention to her that she's dressed too provocatively, she tells me that she wants to take advantage of her youth to dress herself up beautifully, but in my eyes, her clothes and appearance are more like those of a high-class streetwalker or prostitute. She often gets a phone call at night and happily dresses up, really like a prostitute full of sexual hunger. Also, she's started smoking. I just don't understand. Aren't coaches supposed to have healthy lifestyles? Why would she smoke?
I can't do anything about these changes in my wife. I'm posting my story here, using it as a place to vent. Many people comfort me, while some people scold me, thinking I'm a coward. They suggest I should get a divorce. I've thought about it a thousand times, but I can't leave her, and I don't want my family to be implicated. I don't know what kind of hints she's giving me, but I feel that as long as I can accept this kind of life, she won't leave me. Some people say that a "small" man like me is the perfect candidate for being cuckolded, advising me to gradually learn to enjoy the feeling of being cheated on. But I really can't do it. I've been influenced by this online community and even read novels recommended by netizens. But even now, I still can't feel excited about being cheated on. There's always a fire burning inside me, but my inferiority complex only allows this fire to burn me unbearably.
From my wife's infidelity to how things are now, legally and morally, it's not my fault. But I still feel it's my fault. I'm the one who sent my wife, a woman who has never experienced being with a man, to the side of the most manly people in the world. I'm just reaping what I sowed. A netizen told me that fitness trainers aren't necessarily big-breasted, but it's easy for them to have sex for more than half an hour, and they don't require any physical exertion from the woman. They said that once a woman tries it, she'll become addicted. I've never seen my wife have a real orgasm. Before, when she was with me, she could watch TV or handle some simple work in a group chat at the same time, but I can imagine that when she was with the fitness trainer, she must have had an orgasm. I allowed my wife to have this experience, so how can I make her forget it?
The last time I wrote anything here was at the end of last year. I wrote a little then but couldn't continue because I felt too upset.
Last year was the year my wife changed the most, the most painful year for me, and also the year I was most impulsive and suicidal. Fortunately, I added some malicious netizens here. Although they just found my situation funny and kept teasing me and pouring cold water on me, making me feel even worse, the cold water did stop me from doing many stupid things. For example, when I really wanted to fight that coach, even to the point of a fight, they all said I was just asking for trouble, so I cowardly endured it. Or they told me never to use divorce to blackmail my wife into returning to the family.
The longer it went on, the more I felt how stupid I was. Putting aside everything else, I was stupid enough to send my wife to the fitness coach, no wonder I encountered such a situation. And many of my subsequent actions and thoughts made me realize how really stupid I was. At the time, I really wanted to confront the coach, thinking that at worst I would get beaten up, and if I made a big scene, my wife might see his ugly face and know how much I cared about her. Later, a netizen brought up this matter. Speaking of this netizen, I must mention she's a woman, but I'm truly grateful to her. She stayed up with me during my most difficult time, chatting with me until the wee hours when I had insomnia, even though I knew she was just pitying me. I told her I was prepared to go all out to get my wife back. She warned me not to assume one outcome, and to consider whether I could accept it if my wife chose to divorce me and be with the coach. She told me that although those jerks in the group constantly teased my wife about "just experiencing the pleasures of being a woman," they were telling the truth—that my wife's first orgasm wasn't so easy to give up. Five years of relationship, while precious, wasn't something that couldn't be severed. My wife could easily have her fun and marry a more honest man. And what convinced me most was her question about whether I had considered that I might not even be able to make a big fuss. I had no evidence; the coach could simply deny it. And in that situation, my wife wouldn't admit it either. A real confrontation would likely only result in both of us losing face, and my wife could legitimately leave me. I told her I could get evidence. Initially, I'd followed my wife and seen her enter a hotel with that coach, but I didn't take photos or catch them in the act. However, I figured it was possible to get evidence. But
then she asked me if, if I didn't want a divorce, could I use the evidence to cause trouble? Could I handle all the possible consequences? I thought about it for a long time and realized I couldn't. I really felt stupid; I couldn't understand many things. Comparing myself to this online friend showed how inadequate I was. This friend was younger than me, yet seemed to know more and think more clearly. Later, she asked me to find a way to get some evidence. I told her I wouldn't need the evidence because I didn't want a divorce. She said it was like having a gun and not using it versus not having a gun at all, which made sense.
Later, I followed my wife several times but never saw the coach again. My wife started taking taxis everywhere, so I couldn't follow her. I considered many methods, like putting a GPS in her bag, but those methods in TV dramas have too many problems in reality. In the end, after much effort, I realized I couldn't get any evidence. Later, that netizen suggested I start with the trainer, because while my wife might be cautious, the trainer wouldn't be.
I thought of a very simple method: register a fake WeChat account and add the trainer. Adding a fitness trainer is so easy; I asked about gym memberships, and he quickly accepted. I started frantically scrolling through his WeChat Moments, feeling conflicted. I wanted to see things related to my wife to get some evidence, but I was also afraid of seeing something I didn't want to see and being overwhelmed. I genuinely didn't have any thoughts of being cheated on. But I found nothing. 90% of the trainer's Moments were ads, some were photos of him and his colleagues, and some were photos of his clients, but nothing useful. They were probably all for promotional purposes. The trainers in those photos all looked like respectable people; there wasn't even any normal physical contact between them, let alone any inappropriate contact. I had no choice but to talk to the trainer, hoping to get some information out of him. But I found that while he was quite enthusiastic, he mainly talked about the effects of fitness and trying to sell me memberships. I really couldn't think of a way to steer the conversation towards women. Moreover, whenever I talked to him, I kept thinking about how he was the man who would often call his wife out at night to molest and play with her, which made me very angry. Later on, I even had to revise a complete sentence several times before I could type it out, and my fingers were shaking the whole time I was typing. Also, after chatting for a long time, I still didn't seem interested in signing up for the card, so he started replying to me less seriously.
Later, I realized how stupid I'd been. Using a male identity meant no one would say anything, so I bought another phone number and created a WeChat account with a female identity. This time, the instructor finally showed up. Again, I didn't mention the membership card, not because I was short of money, but because I genuinely couldn't get one from him. This time, however, he was much more patient, calling me "beautiful lady" repeatedly. I immediately thought of my wife often at home, smiling foolishly at her phone; he was probably using the same tactics to cheer her up. Thinking about this made me very upset. Often, my hands would tremble while chatting with him, and I'd quickly tell him I had something to do and we'd talk later, then sit there calming myself down. Online friends also advised me not to chat too much, to always remember he was the seller, and not to be too forward. However, I should give the instructor some flirtatious hints as soon as possible; otherwise, without being able to get a membership card or meet him in person, it would still be a waste of time. But I simply couldn't do it. Every time I thought about how he pinned my wife down and played with her, my hands trembled with anger. And the bruises on my wife's body... I desperately wanted to call him and yell at him, let alone think about how to seduce him and gain his trust.
The most effective time was when the trainer sent me photos of the gym, promoting how clean and tidy it was. On some expert advice, I asked if they were deliberately taken after cleaning, and then asked him to send me a selfie along with the photos. After he sent the selfie, I planned to express some admiration and flirtation. But I just couldn't continue the conversation. I was almost overwhelmed by inferiority and anger. I felt like he was targeting me because in his photos, besides his tall, strong body, his crotch was very noticeably large. I felt like he was mocking me. At that moment, I felt like all my efforts were pointless. My wife had been conquered by someone like him; how could she possibly come back to me? Fortunately, I knew this coach wasn't a good person. He was definitely sending that photo on purpose to test the woman who asked for it—that's me. I suppressed my annoyance and sent him a few emojis like starry eyes and a lecherous look, along with a simple compliment on his muscles. I even added, as the expert had warned me beforehand, "You don't mind if I save the photo, right?"
It worked. This coach started talking to me about things unrelated to fitness, and he would frequently send photos that casually showed off the gym and his own physique. He would also occasionally make suggestive remarks, like asking about my boyfriend and whether I should bring him to the gym so he could be as strong as him. I always spoke to him while suppressing my anger and frustration, because his flirting reminded me of how he seduced my wife. Every time he sent a photo, I thought about my wife in bed with him, and I even wondered, "You have my wife, how can you still be seducing other women?" Especially one time he told me to start exercising to improve our sex life. I almost smashed my phone. I sent my wife to him for some exercise, but what about my sex life? Has it improved? You clearly took it all away from me. When you were with my wife, did you think of me? I remembered a friend in the group saying that maybe the coach thought of me while he was with my wife, and that made me even angrier. I remembered one morning when my wife thought I was still asleep and secretly took a picture of my pitifully small morning erection. I figured the coach must have seen it, so he really might have thought of me while he was with my wife. I absolutely can't let him know that the woman he's talking to is an imposter; it's too embarrassing. I realized I really can't confront him. If things really escalate, and either he or my wife says I'm only a few centimeters long, will I just kill myself in front of them?
During this time, my wife is still frequently called away. Sometimes when my wife goes to put on makeup and change clothes, I start talking to the coach. Not every time, but mostly. This kind of conversation usually lasts for about ten or twenty minutes after my wife leaves, after which he'll say he has something to do or needs to sleep and then stop talking to me. For me at the time, it felt like he was telling me directly, "I'm done talking, your wife's here, I'm going to play with her." It caused me immense pain. Whether my wife didn't come home all night or returned late at night, I would have a sleepless night, feeling utterly pathetic. One day, after my wife was called away, she didn't return until noon the next day, looking disheveled. Although there were no visible injuries, she didn't have any strange smells; instead, she smelled of perfume. She didn't give me much time to observe her; she rushed into the bathroom as soon as she entered the house. I, in a twisted way, listened intently to her voice outside, trying to guess what she had gone through. She spent a long time in the bathroom, flushing twice, and took a half-hour shower. When she came out, she had changed into long pajamas, locked the bedroom door, and slept all afternoon. I felt both distressed and heartbroken. From her mental state, I knew she had been through a lot from the night until the next morning. From her showering and changing into long pajamas, I deduced she had probably been quite disheveled. While I still find it difficult to remain calm about such things, I no longer express excessive surprise or disbelief. I don't understand why my wife continues with him even after all this. Is it really worth sacrificing so much for physical pleasure? That
evening, I prepared dinner and called her to the table. She stared blankly at her chopsticks for a long time, then went back to her room to rest without eating a single bite. Looking at the food I had prepared, I felt terrible, but I thought it best to let her rest first; I could make her something later. I wanted to offer her warmth so that she would eventually give up on me and come back to me.
To my surprise, before I could even prepare a late-night snack for her, she came out again to get dressed. I couldn't help but ask her if she was going out that night. She replied casually that she had something to do at work and left shortly after. I quickly took out my phone and started chatting with my coach. Sure enough, he said a friend was coming over and he had to leave. I really wanted to send him a message begging him to be gentler with my wife. But after much deliberation, I sent a simple "Take care of yourself" emoji. The coach probably thought the woman was flirting with him, and excitedly replied with his eight-pack abs, followed by a "want to play together?" emoji and a lewd smiley face. I felt like I was going crazy; it was masochistic of me to give him the wrong impression when my wife was there. What would he do to my wife if he got excited?
It was all a stupid thing I did; I didn't get any evidence, just made myself feel worse. And some things I pieced together were things I really didn't want to believe. That day, my wife left after dinner, and I couldn't help but chat with the coach again. I had been warned not to talk to him every time my wife went out, as it would easily lead him to connect the dots. But I couldn't resist every time my wife left. I felt like a pervert; I knew exactly what my wife was doing, yet I insisted on checking it out myself. But that time, the coach kept talking to me, saying he hadn't finished work yet, and even, with my deliberate prompting, sent me a few seconds of video. The video showed him at the gym, with other people working out around him. I didn't see my wife in the video. That day, I was initially happy, thinking that my wife hadn't just been called away to bed this time, and that something was really going on. But when she came home in the middle of the night, I smelled semen on her again. At first, I thought she hadn't gone to see the coach this time, and I was quite pleased, but then I discovered she'd been with someone. I couldn't hold back and yelled at her. She stormed out of the bathroom and went to shower, ignoring me for several days afterward. Later, she emphasized that if I suspected her, I should just divorce her, and I chickened out again.
I realized that my wife might have other men besides the coach. Thinking about this almost made me depressed. If my wife was really having affairs with other men besides the coach, she might never be satisfied.
Later, things quickly stalled. One time, I hinted further that he might lift women up during sex, so I could watch. I thought I might have been too impatient. A few minutes later, he called me on video. I was completely stunned. After I refused several times, he suddenly asked if I was a man. I didn't know how to answer. Then he told me not to act like I was crazy and blocked me. I'm not acting like I'm crazy, I really am crazy.

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My wife has been having an affair with her fitness coach for two years.

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