A Tragic Eulogy for Love: Brother, I miss you so much! (Part 2)

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My wish came true; I met my brother at the bus station exit. He had finally come to see me.
It was the same October, the same weather as today. My brother walked towards me wearing sunglasses—he was undeniably cool and awe-inspiring. With a mischievous smile, he gave me a big hug, then cupped my face, as if he couldn't wipe away my tears that seemed to have fallen from a broken string: "My lovely little sister is still as prone to crying as when she was little. Who bullied you?"
"No one, I just missed you. I'm so glad to finally see you alive!" I laughed as I finished speaking. All hatred and thoughts of revenge melted away in my brother's words.
"I missed you too. I wanted to come see you so many times, but Uncle (he calls my dad Uncle) always refused."
"I couldn't go to university, and I didn't dare to bother you! I envy you!"
...
I hopped and skipped along, my steps light and joyful. He ruffled my hair and said he would go shopping with me, and then we would take some photo booth pictures together, each of us keeping a copy and putting the best ones on our phones.
The shop owner said my boyfriend was really handsome, like Nicholas Tse. Such is the vanity of a young girl! My brother didn't explain, letting me whine and be capricious, wanting this and that… This was probably the only silly thing I ever did in a relationship in my life; there was no more.

My brother stayed at my house for three days. The night before he left, I slept on the sofa in the living room, and he slept in the bedroom. After everyone else was asleep, I quietly went into his room wearing only a bra and underwear to steal a kiss.
My brother woke up, and I told him I wanted him (before this, I had lost my virginity through a one-night stand, a story I don't want to tell yet). My brother responded to my kiss, touched my breasts and buttocks, then wrapped me in a blanket and told me to go to sleep. He said he felt sorry for me like this and that we should pretend nothing had happened.
The next morning, the adults had all gone to work. I was a commuter student in university and didn't have classes in the morning, so I took my brother to the station. As we were leaving, he said, "Wait a minute, make sure all the doors and windows are closed before you go out." I stared blankly as he closed all the doors and windows, drew the curtains, and the room suddenly became dark.
“Brother?”
“Do what you wanted to do last night.”
My brother came over and hugged me tightly. My body and soul involuntarily accepted his rampant licking and gentle biting. He said he missed me so much, loved me so much, and didn’t know when we would see each other again.

In these three days, he listened to my experiences over the years, my longing, yearning, and hatred for him. He buried his head in my chest and said he understood me, understood how that once proud little princess had become so insecure and timid, how she had given her first time to a stranger, how she was just like him, knowing it was wrong but unable to stop thinking about it, doing things that went too far…
“We are the same kind of people, we have the same blood flowing in our veins, we are the people who understand each other the most…”
“We can’t be together, but we can love each other very deeply, a deep love that no one can sever…”
The moment my brother entered my body, I felt the pleasure that no words could describe after breaking the taboo—his heat and hardness surged within me.

"Brother, I miss you! I—love—you!"
(From then on, these three words almost disappeared from my life, until the fifth time the wolf appeared, and in the depths of my emotions, the "I love you" that slipped out was my most touching expression!)
My brother said there was no happier time than this, letting out a low growl... He had poured his entire story of youth into my body!

The following years were very sweet; he had his story, and I had my happiness. We made a promise that twenty years from now, when we were both 40, we would still be able to find that feeling again, to talk about interesting topics. My brother said we definitely could, because he was my only brother, and no one could enter my heart more deeply than him.

Before ten years had even passed, my brother was gone. An unexpected tragedy! Born on January 10, 1981, and died on November 3, 2008, he was not even thirty years old when he left.
From then on, there was a hole in my heart, a hole that can never be filled!
The day I saw him off, I touched his cold, stiff fingers, looked at his half-smiling face, suppressed all my emotions, held his only daughter, and watched my top-secret, hidden love ultimately being pushed into the furnace with his figure, turning to ashes…
For a month, I didn't leave the house; for a year, I dared not recall any memories related to him; for ten years, I dared not visit his grave. Only when autumn and winter come again do I find myself unable to stop thinking of him.

Must I wait until the twenty-year promise, brother, to tell you then, I've been doing well all these years!

P.S.: Recent events have made me think a lot about love, life, and faith. During this time, some of my hidden temper has surfaced, and I've had some unfriendly exchanges with friends on Paradise, QQ, and WeChat. I sincerely apologize for this; thank you Paradise for giving me a sense of security! I still prefer not to disturb others, and I don't inquire about the truth; thank you for your understanding!

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A Tragic Eulogy for Love: Brother, I miss you so much! (Part 2)

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